fogelbise

These are some quick recaps, mainly for my records but anyone is welcome to read. LD on 3/22 was interesting in that it was in one of those late dreams where my awareness usually starts to dip again and it did feel like one of those dreams but I managed to become lucid. The next two LDs were interesting in that they both had to do with my path/orientation in the dream and that they were recognizable as dream scenarios (general dream signs). I attribute this to my awareness work where I retrace my steps during the day with a view from the outside of myself and then from within where I am self aware in a more recent tweak to my perspective that involves noticing something you don't normally notice like the way that you normally don't see your nose (it blends into your view but is visible if you look for it) and to my review of specific and general dream signs. I feel like there is a shift in the way that I am becoming lucid lately. I am hopeful that it is becoming more natural and/or that I am solidifying neural pathways to easier lucidity (neuroplasticity I am hoping). I guess we will see. It also seems like I am having more awareness in dreams where I don't quite become lucid. I am recognizing DC's of people I know or knew IWL that I never think about and perhaps were always there but just didn't have the awareness to make the connection?? I don't know.

Quick Takes:

3/22 DILD: in an American style football game I played the first 3 downs in the quarterback position starting from the 20 yard line and there was a dirty play against me in the last down that made me realize that this was a dream and how I was just in bed trying to WILD. I thought it would be fun to throw off the helmet of the dirty player and start whacking him and did. After a number of whacks I am just laying on the playing field feeling tired and from there I faded back to bed. 123

3/23 DILD: I am looking for this woman I saw earlier and make my way outside and I notice that I lost my way and the path looks quite different from before and I am not progressing forward normally/~slow motion. I realize that I am dreaming and realize that I can just fly out of here but the dream still wants some control and I start flying backwards and just go with it and it allows me to start flying normally again up and away but then again the dream wants control and leaves me drifting towards space but I am not worried, I have been there and love it and it stops again and I end up on a very tall building. I think about jumping but I am wondering if that might send me into the void so I look at the building next to me and decide to do some Spiderman swings upwards and over to various buildings with what seems more like rope than web. I feel like a child again. I fly some more before what I assume was an FA. 124

3/25 DILD: I am on a porch talking to an old co-worker (N) and we see a group of guys go by and one of them looks like Tom Petty but then it is as if we just saw that on a tv screen or something and I ask something like "since when is Tom Petty on that show?" She said "Oh you didn't know" and I figured out we were talking about 2 different shows and the one she mentioned was a reality show involving fighting. I get the idea that the fighters in the show are coming for me and it is time to get out of there. Now no one is around and the area looks a little different like I don't know my way and all of this feels like a dream scenario, okay yes well I can just fly out of this confusion so I do and the flight serves as my RC. I fly down and around looking for the fighters planning on showing them a thing or two before either losing lucidity, waking up, maybe had an FA on this one as well. 125

2/27/14* Quick entry

Awareness work type: retracing my steps (&looking at myself from the outside)
Pre bed & short wbtb: visualization, interacting with desired DCs: Scarlett, Girl Friday, Wife
wbtb: as above + very short SSILD session, closed eye teleport attempts

Early non-lucid(!) with Girl Friday, sexy

LD: I don't recall the beginning of the dream (feels like at least a conversation missed before this). I am in an odd combination of my primary childhood home and M Blvd similar to the early non-lucid which I was thinking about during my short wbtb. My son just left the room and I give my wife the look and close and lock the door but the lock is strange. No door knob and the lock is a sliding switch that looks more like a light switch and I intuitively slide it down to lock the door (don't recall ever seeing a lock like this) and I am already questioning the scenario. I fully realize that I am dreaming as I look over at my wife standing there in atypical blue jean shorts nicely fitting and a tight t-shirt. I float towards her as she unbuttons her shorts and I am amazed at how vivid everything is and I start to look at the wood paneled wall behind her and the old fashioned wall paper on another wall and how the light is hitting everything like when the sun is low in the sky just before sunset. This focus on the backgrounds seems to make my wife disappear and I attempt to summon her in direct view a few times before I start to float towards the ceiling unintentionally and I think, oh well I will just continue through the ceiling and fly or something. I remember the sensation of phasing through the ceiling a little more markedly than usual as if my body warped a little as I passed through...usually I just fly straight up and out. I am floating up into the sky further and further and the sensation is just so wonderful that I simply go with it, allowing myself to float effortlessly into the cosmos it seems until it turns into the void before fading back to bed. Quite a sensation!

1/25/14**

Interesting development tonight! Instead of some previous experiences where it felt like mechanics were involved in countering my lucidity...tonight both LDs felt like I was suspicious I could be dreaming and I was getting nudges of help or clues! I think this was due to my re-inspired self awareness work! Anyway busy today got to be brief. First LD I was sitting outside with a heavy-set black guy with mostly shaved head but a slight fade. For the second night in a row I see something interesting about the stars in the sky (previous night I was just focusing on a good night's sleep and got a fantastic show in the sky that was non lucid; stars lighting up unusually and then became firework sounds behind a cloud and then very clear and vivid fireworks with animation in the sky thinking it was a little late for fireworks - felt like 10:30 p.m. in the dream - and it turned out to be some advertising campaign but so beautiful!) anyway I tell that guy that those stars
look unusual, the constellation was laid out with so many stars kind of in a shape of a boot and as I was pointing it out the whole constellation lit up (lucidity help#1) and I realized that I must be dreaming but it felt so real but I said no I must be dreaming. I decided to RC by flying up into the sky. Yep! I am thinking what now and think of flying to the moon and I look for the moon as I'm floating high up in the sky. I see the moon and start flying towards it and as I get close I go to land and somehow end up in a big L shaped room that looked like an abandoned club house or game room with items at each end of the L. I think okay is this supposed to be on the moon? Sure enough I'm bouncing around the room with moon like gravity! It is actually a whole lot of fun! After bouncing around for awhile I look at the front door to this big room and I think about what they were talking about in the last podcast and decided I would go out a different way
and flew up through the roof as if it were not there. I'm floating in the sky again and I look for some interesting stars to fly to and think about the tip from Sivason. As I focus on each star they move a little to the right or a little to the left. Finally I find one that seems to stay fixed and I focus on it as I begin to fly towards it but then I lose sight of it but I can feel that I am deep in space and it feels a little weird like gentle pressure waves rolling against me. I feel lost out here so I decide to teleport back to the L shaped room and bounce around some more. I lost lucidity either here or through the FA that followed. A guy similar to the one at the beginning of the dream was there and had a habit of turning on multiple TV'S...like a compulsion. This was after a normal wbtb about 4 hours in. Woke up from LD#1 around 5am. Did a more lazy wbtb with less SSILD cycles overlayed with mantra that I stop & realize I am dreaming + one that I
recognize the transition (both were WILD attempts turned DILDs). 2nd LD I was in what was supposed to be my grandparents house. I was helping my grandmother with something in the garage and she decided it was time to go to bed and she went on towards bed and as I passed the laundry area(?) between the garage and the house I spilled something on the floor and it got worse as I tried to stop the spill. I went in to the bathroom to clean up I guess and heard a jingling sound then saw a small white fluffy dog and thought hmm I guess that is their dog. Then I see a taller majestic grayish blackish dog and think that is strange...doesn't seem like any dog of theirs and think this could be a dream. Nudged again (lucidity help#2) I see someone walking towards me in a bear suit and I say now I know I am dreaming! I fly up out of the house and it is daytime whereas before it seemed like night. There is a line of college cheerleaders (male and female) out in
front of the house performing. Like in one of my HHs earlier where a woman in a skirt had one leg propped up on something provocatively, I saw a cheerleader standing legs split with a "come hither" look and I swooped down to the ground below her and worked my way towards performing oral on her as she grabbed at my junk, enjoying the experience but eventually faded back to bed.

1/21/14* hearing about a riot in (2nd city south of here) after a "(something) & Dreams" event. Hearing this news apparently takes me to the event. Controversy over some of the displays made. I then find myself in a classic dark ride going past these displays that participants apparently made. We are all hanging in air from long ropes as we go through the ride. One of the early displays was obviously controversial because it was an animatronic creature that looked like a stylistic hybrid of a penis and a vagina (the shaft had a vagina like opening part way up and the head was more pointed like a dutch hat with the flaps curved inwards, kind of a stylized directional arrow)...odd! (day residue? heard about siblings last night that each took the other's gender-as if their gender was confused at birth). Another animatronic display was a mythical-hero-looking, rocky-dark-gray-statue-guy kissing what looks like a male mythical-human-shaped creature. A girl in front is scared and grabs onto me and I hold her from behind. We are going past a long grayish curtain and something is just bound to pop out at any moment so I close my eyes a couple of times and I realize that this is a dream. We're still going by the long curtain for a while but then I start seeing black cobblestones or similar and wonder if the dream is fading but somehow I keep the same (though somewhat boring) scene going for what feels like another 20 to 30 seconds (using something very similar to the way I nudge on the vibrations) before I finally end up back in bed and needing to get up to go to the bathroom. This all happened 5 hours after going to bed and *before* my wbtb so it was more of a spontaneous dild that I tie to my self awareness work. 99

Just a quick entry mainly for myself! Don't neglect the daytime work! I did have a strong cold Monday night and Tuesday(1 week ago) that didn't help me feel like doing daytime work, but I slacked way too much on my daytime self-awareness work (a la Sageous) and it showed, taking me 8 days to get my next lucid. I strongly believe that after you have the necessary experience and knowledge, that dry spells are either self-induced or related to things changing around you (new job, new task, sickness, travel). Of course consistency is not to be expected when you are first starting off. I am only talking about after you have some significant consistency. For me, partly because I was sick but mainly because I wasn't putting in enough daytime work towards LDing. Looking back, I could have done some quick RRC check-ins no matter how sick I felt.

SSILD, *swinging visualization(motion based) WILD attempt becomes DILD

I was so close to wild this morning but at some point I realized that I was just a little too far from sleep, the most crucial element! So I focused on drifting off and lost awareness but was able to DILD. I was getting my teeth checked for some issue that had been bothering me (only according to my dreaming mind) related to the teeth pushing up against my lips. The dentist took me to the x-ray machine and I mentioned the braces I had as a kid and he asked if I had the old x-rays and I said that I could give him the name of the orthodontist to request them. Anyway, this x-ray machine apparently swings you around the entire office as it x-rays your teeth (you've seen those, right? haha) and I think I was semi-lucid at this point, going around the office in my underwear on this machine. I see this odd guy looking in the window of the office and immediately realize yep, this is a dream, awesome machine (I think my swinging visualization during the wild attempt brought on this amazing x-ray machine/theme park ride thingy). I decide to really look around at all the details of the office (influenced by daytime work where I really look around in wonder) as I am being swung around. I also decide to go nude and made my underwear disappear (no flasher IWL, haha). There are several people working in the office including a good looking receptionist (reminds me of walking past some people dining on an outdoor patio of a restaurant IWL and my thought of all the things I would do if this were a lucid dream right now!..awesome feeling of empowerment.) I remember my goal to fly over some local landmarks and scenery and fly up from the machine (the roof is immaterial...or was it?). In flight my vision started fading and I begin to think that the dream may be ending, visualize the swinging of the x-ray machine, maybe I can go back there and stabilize) but slowly but surely I feel myself returning to my sleeping body. It may have also been the end of my REM cycle, but I want to work on stabilization in moments like the above. 98

*Anyone reading this, to encourage me to keep up my DJ online I am going to start to paraphrase many of my entries...too much work for me at the moment*

1230? ~545-620? ~7am=wake from DILD, vibration mantra, SSILD, sleepy mantra. #95

Awareness DILD after ~5hour, wbtb. Once again I have a driving DILD. I am looking at my dashboard wondering why it is one solid dashboard without any of the normal items, not any of the plethora of items on my dashboard...nothing! Confusion for a second, then, I am dreaming! I very quickly decide to fly up out of the car (my mindset is...the car is immaterial, kind of like "there is no spoon" from The Matrix). I fly around but it is dark and I decide to fly up into space again stopping to look back down at Earth. The view is a little fuzzy. I decide to try out the Bonus TOTM. I fly back down look for a body of water, hold out my hands superhero style and freeze it. I spawn a pointed saw and start to cut a hole before I end up fading back to bed. Lasted maybe several minutes.

Edit: to add record of short dild during morning nap. I don't plan to count this one. After a few hours I went back to bed and had an awareness dild just before waking. I had just ran into the house taking cover from geese flying overhead shut the door and shortly after heard a wood chipper going at what felt like the early morning and I realized I must be dreaming before waking up.

11/18/13 LD #72 Late morning quick wbtb led to an awareness dild where I floated around the room and structure(drew it un-artistically), found Girl Friday and had a great time between the sheets. Dream sign mantra seems to be yielding some results but this one had more to do with awareness that the location was not in the same condition as it is in waking life...basically it was in the middle of remodeling.

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11/19/13 What is really strange is that one of my dream signs that only comes around maybe once a month but is usually a lucidity inducer (my deceased father in law) has shown up the last 2 nights and went right over my head (I assume my mantra incubated him into my dreams)...yet last night it may have kept me going in a more meaningful dream that was really quite special to me personally...it was my wife as a 2 year old coming up to me and she was just so darn cute...I didn't know her that young but I assume the DC was created from pictures I have seen of her around that age...(I am not posting my other dreams, getting lazy to and besides I have them in my personal journal) The dream:
Special one, false awakening into a fluffy bed with lots of comforters I can hear the train outside and I think that is strange this is not a place where I normally hear a train, it feels like its a house near (next town south) but perhaps it is the house on M. I get up and go to the living room and sit on the couch...later father-in-law gets up from bed I assume and comes and sits next to me as well as someone else gets up at the same time (feels like it is the strange version of my mother in law from the previous night's dream). He's telling me that he was seeing (this mother-in-law DC) or whoever doing something like a yoga pose where she's starts off on her back and legs up in the air and he's kind of wondering why does she do that, it seems like it has something to do with being able to lucid dream. A little kid walks by in the hall on the far side of the room, maybe about 2 years old and I hold my hands out and say come here about 3 times quickly and the kid comes towards me and surprisingly it looks like a young little (my wife's name)!! She is just so adorable. She has short hair and it just looks like her, like her pictures or like a really good representation of what my mind would think she would look when she was that age. She comes towards me but my father-in-law(her father) picks her up and it looks like she's fussing a little bit like she wants to come over to me and I say no its okay stay with (father-in-law) about 3 times as I rub her shoulder and arm in assurance. It feels like this was about to make me lucid as I woke up. As I'm laying in bed awake I think about how neat it is almost like traveling back in time to see her when she was young when she looked so darling. I also wondered if perhaps it was supposed to be our baby since I've been dreaming a lot about babies lately (no baby expected that I know of!).