NyxCC

06 Aug

Had an end of the dream back to school dild. We are in school, down the corridors and there is music playing already. I realize this is a dream and remember the music related task of the month. I concentrate on the music, which seems to be coming from everywhere and enjoy it together with the other DCs. The song sounds really familiar at the time, a famous pop song and we all sing the lyrics out loud. I remember having another forgotten ld earlier in the night that involved music too. My body moves by itself and I wake up.

12 Aug

In a room, I look to the sky and remember I can do anything. I initially think of summoning something but then remember the musical task. I decide to pretend that I am playing piano, press my fingers on the desk nearby trying to feel the keys. The keys half materialize and I start to hear a piano melody playing from all around me. The music is really deep and then the piano sound transforms into a church organ with a tune that is fitting the style. It strongly echoes all around. I listen to it some more until the dream fades.

Date: 3 Sept

Mini-wbtb: lecithin

Decided not to wbtb, no latte, but had a natural wake. Didn't quite concentrate on lding, but had some thoughts about it.

LD Frag: In a classroom and I see one of the classmates that greets me. At some point my awareness increases and I realize that I'm in the room with my class and dreaming. One of the long term goal experiments comes to mind (learn to recognize DS by experience from the dream). The room is full of classmates sitting behind the desks and I start my mantras despite there being some instability "I see classmate, I know that I am dreaming, etc." and make them all repeat this with me. I list a number of classmates and stress the dreaming part. One thing that strikes me is the synchronisation between my thoughts, my words, and the words that come out of all classmates - it all happens exactly at the same time, and it's as if I can feel this invisible causality connection.

After going through a number of names in alphabetical order, I decide that this amount of information is enough for now and that no more should be repeated. An unknown DC teacher wearing grey comes closer, not a very pleasant one. I decide to change him a bit and give him a hug. He seems so touched by this that he sheds a few tears that fall down his shirt, leaving realistic wet marks.

At this point, I recall the shoe task and start looking around for shoes. The are shoes scattered around but from different pairs and sizes. The room becomes someone's apartment. In addition, again, I become too picky trying to find a pair of shoes that I like. (And we know what this usually means). Finally, I find a pair of colorful moccasins, very nice ones and get on with the task. There are papers into the first one, so I have to take them out before putting the shoe on. I grab the second shoe and as am about to put it the dream ends.

FA: I have a task of the month thread FA where I read my current dream post and another dream that includes OpheliaBlue and Schmaven.

Another fragment/mini-dream: I appear somewhere more like outdoors and realize that am still dreaming, though I have the definite certainty that am going to lose lucidity (like feeling your mental sharpness going down) and I continue forward focusing on maintaining the alertness.

Frag: It's like the same apartment again as I figure out 'dreaming, same place'. These are like wildlets in reverse as I'm in the process of waking up.

Wake up, brief review.

Frag: Only remember the ld part. In an appartment again, this time I find a pair of slippers and put them on without any issues. Wondering what to do next, I exert a great deal of effort to recall the other tasks that I didn't plan on performing tonight. The fortune cookie task finally comes to mind and I head towards the kitchen. There's lots of stuff on the counter including pieces of cookies but for some reason I decide to have a DC do the work for me and skip the cookie altogether. I look to my left and see two DCs (think they were from the non-ld part), both of them holding a piece of paper in their hands. I take the one from the nearest DC and try to read it, the words change to something like 'crazy couple'. I consider the task complete and get distracted with the dream to lose lucidity.


Shoes & Cookies Part II

Date: Sept 10

Decided to skip wbtb due late bedtime. Woke up naturally and had trouble falling asleep until couple of mins before the alarm.

LD: I finally fall asleep and find myself starring at...myself. There is a doppelgänger DC right in front of me, seated near where the desk used to be in my old room. But she looks more like doll, an object rather than a real person even though she is looking at me. I decide to ignore her and turn to the other side where under pressure (due to alarm), I go to recall immediately my tasks. The ones I had planned to try don't fit the place and current time constraints so I decide to go with basic totm instead.

I recall the shoe task and have a look at my feet - bare, the next second my mind produces a pair of shoes exactly like the slippers I had when I lived in that room. I take them off and look for another pair of shoes next to me. There are a few actually and I'm conveniently facing the wardrobe. The ones that look from the same pair and right size are orange flip flops that I put on. My attention is briefly caught by another pair of rather fancy high heel shoes that I figure belong to my mom. I'm excited to try them but at this point my feet's motion translates into physical motion...Yet, the dream still holds together despite a brief wave of instability.

Since I'm still here, I decide to do the the fortune cookie task, moving on to the place of the old desk. There are lots of items on top of it and I scan for a fortune cookie while thinking about one. There is a misshaped fortune cookie and a piece of paper coming out of it. I notice at first that there are only black and white drawings of snoopy or a simialr character but the other side of the fortune reveals a conversation next to the character. The drawings disappear to leave an ever changing text. In its last version that I try to memorize it is an old German proverb that repeats the same word three times. It looks like an old Latin proverb (dream knowledge) translated into German.

After completing the task (though later forgot the saying), I get a surge of confidence and decide to try another pair of shoes this time with laces for the bonus wings. There is a pair of purple sports shoes on the floor and I grab and start to untie one of them. It feels pretty accurate and not messy at all. This excites me that once they are untied I will put them on and tie them, no problem. As I prepare to put one on, I notice that there are papers inside again. I take one piece out and decide not deal with the rest of the paper, but rather press my foot inside. My foot presses against the papers to make space and then my physical foot moves again and this time dream is gone for good.

Disappointed but after a while with closed eyes, sleep resumes.

DEILD: I'm back into the same room, but this time it's dark as if midnight. This is not welcome as I hope to find my shoes somewhere nearby. With a touch of sarcasm I decide to order more light, though I know it's rather difficult to turn on the lights either by a switch or by command. To my surprise the space in front gets lit up as if there is a screen behind me that casts bright light ahead.

Alas, the alarm rings at that very moment...

A summary of a few mostly uneventful short lds, possibly the result of pre bed work. This was inspired by CL's success in Jan and his following bed time lds, combined with my need to skip some wbtbs.

Date: 23 Feb

Pre bed: 500 mg Omega3, 200mg val

LD: In a classroom and teacher scolds me about blocking the way. I start a speech about classmates, realizing it's a dream. I briefly have a conversation with my teacher who says something cool about time I can't recall. I contemplate leaving the room, the dream ends.

Second? ld where I become lucid in class!

LD: Initial setting - birthday party with friends and relatives. The front changes to deep water, I'm standing at the edge, my awareness goes up, I caress a dophin, where it emits some positive emotion. I become fully aware and go around exploring the street (this actually felt like a somewhat longer dream but blacked out and recall is messed up). I run into gradma's DC on the street which leaves me surprised as I didn't have the vaguest thought about her in that moment. Dream fades


Date: 26 Feb

Pre bed: 50 mg B6, overall vivid dreams

LD: In a friend's place, awareness gradually increases, I explore the building, then climb back in, changing the windows so that there's always something to hold on to as usual with dream climbing. I go to this friend's toilet where I lose lucidity.

LD: I'm busy following a trail of Brazilian Olympics miniature toys on the street and into a building. After going through a number of rooms collecting items, I enter into a new room and become lucid, start telling the DCs that this is a dream. A moment later they become very blurry and out of focus, the dream ends.

Date: 30 Jan

Pre bed: 400val, 45 mg B6

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

Overall impressions: vividness high, recall below average, pre wbtb recall close to zero

DILD: I am walking down the corridors of my school (DS) and we are supposed to have another class in a different classroom, so I don't know in which one we are right now (DS). I go to the where the teachers' room is and enter. It turns to a classroom from another part of the school and I examine the faces of the kids sitting there to determine if I'm in the right place. I see this small boy who has the features of my classmate as if he is 1st or 2nd grade and that jolts me into lucidity. The room is full of kids and I closely look at their faces trying to identify and expecting to see all of my classmates here (as in trying to recreate the past accurately). Most importantly, I am trying to recall and see exactly where is everyone sitting. There's a guy that looks like _ and _tells me that he sits alone, which I doubt, knowing he sits next to another guy. I start calling out names of particular classmates while trying to determine if the seating is correct.

For a second I think I see a doppelgänger of a classmate. I look at the first desk where at least according to a vague memory _ may be sitting or a dream memory, I have dreamt of that room so many times that my dream memories are also partially accessible and get mixed with real ones. There's another girl that doesn't belong here so I move her to the side leaving only _ here and contemplating. The teacher is about to begin the class, but with me acting so commandingly she seems to pause. I make an announcement that the class won't start until I identify and arrange all the classmates and continue looking around. As I stare at this classmate, I finally remember that I wanted to try to read a book and tell her to give me something to read. She hands me/I notice a paper notebook on the desk. I'm slightly uncertain if this will work, as I may run into some school materials. Anyways, I start browsing the notebook paper pile and get my hands on some sort of book. I try to read the title, which is a mix of words that don't make sense and I make an effort to understand what the book is about - something about hands, there is an illustration at the front cover and it looks like some sort of karate manual. I find this pretty cool and look forward to learning karate from this book.

If I'm not mistaken, I take another look at the front cover title and try to reason it out but it changes again as I try to assign some meaning to it. Then I begin browsing the pages and read one of them. The text stabilizes and I read the first sentence with great effort, but I get the meaning without actually reflecting too much on the words. It's a Mongolian story about one of their leaders. I browse more and every couple of pages there are beautiful manually drawn pictures, that look like little paintings that show what's happening in the story. He was supposed to participate in a horse racing in the village. I see a picture of the place after the race, empty now. I look at couple more pics but it's hard to memorize them all, then do back to the front page and title that I am still trying to figure out. Now on the cover is a very peculiar drawing of a house attached to a sleigh or whatever that thing is. The part of the title talking about hands now refers to bamboo and the act of practicing with care. I keep wondering about the title while the dream fades away.

Date: 8 Dec

Entry 2/2

[Summary of non-ld part]:

In school, invited by teacher and classmates to go to the movies. One of them forgets an item belonging to her husband and we go back. On the way back, I lose sight of my classmates and go to bring another item to another classmate that was previously in the room, going to her place.

Her place looks pretty weird with some guys going to a sauna room next to her door. The room turns into a bathroom and I have a look at my reflection, my hair's different but I like it too much to realize something's off. After a while of vanity staring, with the place now a trailer on the street, I identify that my features aren't exactly supposed to look like this and it finally hits me.

My memory is kind of blurry about the surroundings but I remember getting out of the trailer, then walking to this U turn, where I begin to feel the dream thinning. I immediately start rushing without any purpose, can't think of any tasks either, which adds to my worries. I tell myself to stop doing this and try to look around instead, notice some sort of store where I try to read the name. This seems to take the attention off dream instability and helps fix things.

I'm in the middle of a heavy traffic road, cars going in both directions. I feel like I want to push couple of vans off the road to test my abilities. I try pushing one, but to my surprise, it feels heavy as a real van. I continue until managing to make a number of vans lift off in the air, then throw them using tk near the road. Then I turn around to the traffic behind me, lift a number of cars, allow them to stay in the air for a while then tk drag them to the same place I left the previous ones. At some point a few of the cars in the air start to morph into chunks of metal and emit this strong metallic smell.

There's a bit of green (like grass and trees) on the scene but overall I don't like the composition. I command the traffic to stop and try to mentally prevent any new cars from coming and think about cleaning up around. How should I do that, erase the pile of metal crap? Then I remember I wanted to try drawing with the finger. The scenery in front of me has many levels, but I find an empty spot where the end of the scenery meets the blue sky and draw a triangle here and concentrate on seeing what's going to happen. Indeed, there is a ghost-like shape and especially in the beginning it is the Great pyramid, the right proportions and color. A bit later it becomes somewhat pointier and the stone darker, more like a Nubian pyramid. I give it a try to fix it a bit, but it more or less remains the same. And of course, it is unfortunately too far. I know I have to reach it as fast as possible.

Not too used to flying, I start swimming in the air, floating towards the pyramid pretty successfully. Interestingly, I also breathe the same way I would during swimming. The scenery in front of me is an mix of steep hills and walls. I keep swim flying, reaching one of the walls, see cameras and barbed wire. At this point I think about the title of the journal entry, this is the most guarded pyramid in the world (already thinking about journaling!). Swim flying and climbing, I am getting closer to the top of the structure, when I see that the pyramid has turned into a number of houses and radio tower. I want to do the drawing again, but the dream fades.

(Now, I kind of feel a bit guilty of drawing exactly the same thing as CL, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Also, should have thought more about the pyramid, rather than titles)

Date: 28 Sept

WBTB: Gingko

LD: I walk towards a tram station, few classmates are here as well. I am looking for some items, there seems to be an open air store with products piled all around. I think about my plans to ld. Mom is also here. As I look straight ahead, I realize that I am already dreaming. I remember my goal AF and quickly head in an unknown direction, but then remind myself to stop rushing and take some time to look around.

It is early in the evening and there is a full moon, normal size. As I pass the corner, thinking about AF a fountain structure appears, it has something Greek/classical to it, I think "Poseidon"? There are some statues (don't pay attention of what) and water is randomly sprinkling from them. I want to build AF here and now, using whatever water material is available, so I go closer to the structure. I am wearing sport pants that are sliding down my feet, making it hard to move. I wonder if I should take them off, but remember this is a bad idea and do my best to make them disappear by ignoring them, then continue moving forward without problems. The nearby fountain has a small section with very attractive water and ice surrounding it. I have the strong desire to get in the ice cold water and enjoy the feel of it. It's an amazing feeling but the dream fades and I wake up.

Mini-ld: I appear in a store and recognize this is a dream. I shortly stare at some prices and erase the ink with my hand. There are tons of winter clothes on me and I feel very uncomfortable. Of course, I start taking them off until I am wearing a T-shirt and feel much better.

I go out and notice a guy sitting in this street cafe. The dream starts to destabilize, so I join him and tell him I need his help with stabilization. I hold his small child-like hands and examine them. I quickly think of AF and look at a nearby building and there is building waterfall (i.e. water falling from the building instead of rocks). That looks reassuring and I want to go there, but the dream fades.

I wake up, somewhat later and without much involvement on my part I DEILD to the same dream.

Mini-deild: I am looking at the face of the same DC and wonder about the whole dream resuming like this. I caress his face and kiss him on the cheeks as a stabilization tech, but the dream doesn't last long and I wake up.

Date: 25th Aug

Pre bed: Gingko, Q10, peppermint oil capsule

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Dream quality and recall: Vivid, bright colors, some positive moments, some annoying ones, evading recall

Fragment: Some kind of reddish cliffs (similar to AF, but no water)

Fragment: We are in school and there is some activity all of us are participating in. There are mostly sweaters on the desks with numbers on each pile. Each student is assigned a number and we are supposed to take the pile with our number somewhere.

Dream: I meet my special friend and he is very friendly. We sit somewhere and he tells me all kinds of details about his life. Later on, I am at our old home and I can see him in the building in front of ours as he calls me on the phone. I pick up and my voice is barely coming out, I excuse myself but I know the reason is that I am feeling this strange way again...We arrange to meet.

I wake up super happy, but sleepy and decide I will just review in head instead of taking notes.

Dream: I am with my friend again. He is involved with an organization that brings poachers to the top of a hill, but the activity stops after they are discovered. There are no consequences for him. Later we are somewhere talking and he tells me he is working for some sort of zoo. I can't believe it! I actually think this must be fate that he is working for a zoo and I like animals so much. As he tells me about the zoo, I begin seeing images of animals, he says they have over a hundred pandas there and I reply that's impossible, then contemplate on the structure of the place.

We go in this place which has a classical history exhibition. There are huge statues of Greek gods and special effects in each hall. The two I remember are different type of rain that is falling down in the rooms, one next to a statue of Zeus. I worry about my hairstyle due to the rain. We continue our tour and my bf appears to my left. My friend is holding my hand and I wonder about this, he has a gf and we are very good friends in dreams. Three of us stop in a corridor and my friend makes some remarks about us that seem to make my bf jealous. He also comments on his temper. I didn't expect my friend to behave like this and move closer to my bf, each guy is separated by his own window frame.

Fragment: I am in front of grandma and bf's mom who looks like a mix of a teacher of mine and unknown people is recommending some dates for me to travel. I don't want to do this. There was something else as well, I can't remember. My classmate appears and makes a few jokes that improve my mood. Then we are all supposed to listen to the anthem but I couldn't care less. People disapprove of my behavior.

Dream: FA, I am journalling about the previous dream, trying to put the dates from the previous dream down, but the calendar is missing the dates. In the meantime, bf is behind me reading the journal and I feel a bit embarrassed.

Dream: Grandma is sleeping and I am sleeping on her, she changes positions, and I am careful not to wake her up. I have a look at her legs and think about how well she always looked. Then see some veins and other stuff and wonder about age. There is some sort transparent plastic bra/shirt that is filling with blood and I tell grandma who is now awake to take it off. My dad comes to help drain the blood off the device. It looks more like passata and we get into a discussion about what exactly is going on. We have to smell the stuff, now in a cup to confirm what it is, it smells like chicken broth.

LD: I am in my other grandma's kitchen and become lucid. There's a smart looking DC, blond hair, bright clothes, and I say a few words to him. My mind is kind of foggy as I can't remember any tasks I am supposed to be doing. I ask him for help with advanced TOTM and he looks pretty confident and starts walking around supposedly to show me what I should do. I can't remember the advanced task at all! I rely on him to tell me and he says something like "fire". Hmmm, I know there was something related to fire, but still can't remember, was it burn someone's house down or what? I am not sure I want to do this.

Anyways, I move to the next room, which exists only in dreams, it's full of brightly colored objects and number of DCs but I don't take a closer look. I finally remember I have to do the three step task for the competition. Phase. No, interact with DC, ok, already did that. Next one is phase, keep your eyes open. There is a wall but I don't want to go through it as I may end up in the void, so I decide to go through the glass door just next to it. The patterns on the door are such that one only vaguely sees the room and stuff behind it. Keep the eyes open, I remind myself and push forward. As I do, the blurred shapes behind the glass door become sharper in front of my eyes as I get in the room. Absolutely cool effect, I am thinking! I recall CL's enhancing dream vividness tech too, but am not sure how to proceed about it. The dream is quite vivid and stable anyways.

Now in the room, I see two Korean women reading a newspaper. I have a look at what's written there and think about how I am going to describe it. It looks like Korean, yet it isn't as the letters as different. I am beginning to feel exhausted, some sort of weakness plus heaviness in the head, so decide to move on. What was I supposed to do next? Advanced summon, I am thinking about summoning something extraordinary. I am looking out the window while I do this, see the skyline of some unknown city. The idea was to summon Angel Falls, but I feel like dream control is very hard in this place. Yet, the moment I think about the waterfall, right in front of my eyes and in the distance of the city appears a large structure of falling water. I concentrate on it and start manipulating it to make it Angel Falls but get something like a long protruding towards me half of a bridge and the water turns to shredded material that is waving in the wind in my direction.

I am still not sure whether that counts as advanced summon, so look in the other direction where there are yellow trees and see if I can make some special effects appear there. I almost zoom out of the room as I do that, but the dream seems to be fading away so I go back the way I entered and head to the living room. This place still has the layout of my grandma's place. As I go down the corridor, I hear a roar-like sound and think to self "Nooo", anticipating an unpleasant surprise. I cautiously approach the living room only to see an old slightly overweight Thai man trying to fall asleep on the couch. His wife is also there talking to him. He tells me something about me having eat to the fish he cooked and being offended. There's a small piece of fish next to a piece of carrot on the chair and I taste it, tastes like poached salmon. I then go into the kitchen thinking what to do now, having the impression this dream is generally very stable and control might be hard. I compare this to sivanson's cities in the astral and wonder if this is something similar where they might have imposed restrictions on gravity. The dream slowly fades.

I wake and rush to take notes.

Date: 5th Aug

Total sleep time: 7 hrs<

Pre bed: Calcium&Magn, 100mg B6

Natural wakes: 6x, vivid dreams after each, lazy to record, also mislaid notebook

Early dream(+3 hrs?): a memory of a lucid, where I didn't do anything in particular? We were gathered on street around a fountain/pillar?

Dream: An emotional personal dream with a rather unpleasant outcome. Sadness and anger.

Dream: Sitting on the table of a local cafe. My high school classmates smoke cigarette after cigarette. I am thinking about that, blowing out clean air in front of me.

Dream: A bit like a FA, or was it a dream, this was more hearing the dream than seeing it. Mom is talking with dad that she regrets not noticing the details of her dream, because this is the third time she actually has a lucid.

LD: After trying to fall asleep for a while after the natural wake, I catch myself in the midst of a dreamlet. I see my bf already in the dream on the street, but I am still there more of a side spectator than an in-dream presence. My bf starts doing repetitive movements with his hands as if he is entering the dream as well. I concentrate and soon my hands and body appear in the dream. I have a little trouble moving, feel my body slightly paralyzed, but am relaxed about it and just wait. Bf gives me a hand and pulls me closer, which helps me become more solid. He is very friendly and nicer than most of his DC appearances and I wonder whether this could be a shared dream. I walk on the street for a bit, but things destabilize, then the dream is possibly back again. Memory gap?

I have no idea what happened but now am on the roof floor of a building with lots of kids around. I think I lost my lucidity or am quite distracted at this point. The kids are playing with two balloons, one red and one blue, and I am getting closer to the edge of the building as they almost throw one of the balloons too far. I have worries about falling down. Then I go over one of the kids and tell her to turn off/change the music. Here I regain my lucidity as I try to go down while I get a strange fear of heights. I conclude that when people feel this fear they enter a similar to the dream state while awake. Some sort of exaggerated anxiety mood.

I am now one floor below, with my bf and a number of DCs next to me. I decide to ask my bf about the meaning of life. Again, he looks more like himself here. At first he answers something about "going forward", which I very much like. I tell him to repeat it again but instead he says "I like going back and forward" and then blurts out "Money". This disappoints me a bit. I want to get more and better answers so ask another DC. This guy looks falsely familiar and initially gives me the impression I might have encountered a real dreamer as he begins to ponder the question. But then he just keeps repeating "mmm" and "mmmhum" and doesn't say anything. I am annoyed and feel the dream is slipping away as I have been waiting too long. The dream stops but instead of going through the void, I lose consciousness. It takes maybe about 10 seconds and I am back in the dream.

I was in some sort of a corridor before and now I go into the next room where there are a lot of DCs from my class. I want to ask once again, so I organize those DCs which are now around 20 to gather in front of me as if I am about to take a picture of them. I then make an intro and ask them what the meaning of life is. Lots of my classmates raise hands and I select K. who is smiling to answer. She starts a long speech about happiness. She doesn't say anything exciting, just tells me about her life. I have no more interest in getting the question answered. I then address the whole class and ask them if they know what a lucid dream is and if they have had one. A few try to say something, but it is really hard to concentrate as there are too many DCs in the room. I tell them that this is a lucid dream, but then begin to worry that I might actually be having a shared dream with someone and they might think I am crazy. I leave them to talk with one another. I lose consciousness again, the dream is back in a few seconds. (no void)

I am trying to think of more tasks when I see this pretty Asian girl maybe around 20 years old. I start having distracting side thoughts and want to get close to her but she looks scared and tries to run away. I relax a bit and so does she. She lies on my lap as I marvel her beautiful hair and caress her. When she stands up, I notice she is wearing a knee-length dress. I know it is a bad idea to do it temptation-wise, but I just can't resist and start licking her leg. (Yes, I have a problem!) I notice how super real her leg looks, feels and tastes (a bit salty). I am still considering whether I should fully indulge or try to remember and do other tasks, when the dream suddenly ends. I stay still, but am too wakeful to DEILD or fall asleep.

Comments: I did some quick reading related to neurotransmitters and noticed that B6 plays a role in the synthesis of five: serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine and GABA. So, after the intake of B6 it is likely that my levels of these increase.The usual effects for me are earlier onset of memorable dreams (today first wake was at plus 3hrs), emotionally loaded dream contents (often aggressive DCs, sometimes me running away, i.e. fight or flight response, also some sexy moments), reduced sleepiness/increased alertness. After thinking about the effects, it looks like one neurotransmitter receives a significant boost and influences the overall mood of the dream - dopamine. I feel that this information finally coming to my attention is important as it increases my understanding of dream intensity and may help me eventually achieve better control during lds.

Date: 1 Aug

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Natural wake: 2x, impression of vivid dreams with fleeting memory after both wakes

Dream quality: very vivid, realistic and generally stable, lasted a while

Recall: I had to rush out of bed as was late, spent a few mins motionless after wake but the dream memory began erasing, reviewed dream during shower and wrote down 4 hrs later

Tech: snooze by-product. After the normal alarm I pressed the snooze button which was set for 15 more mins.

DILD+: The beginning of this dream is almost impossible to recall as were my very first actions while lucid. I think it was one of those from scratch dilds, where I suddenly appear in a scene.

The location is a non-existent room with an open view to the street of our first home. I look around and say something to the DCs in this strange room. There are a number of them, at least two are classmates. I have no idea what I said there, or what else I noticed in the first part of the ld.

Then I think that I'd better start doing some tasks as I worry that I will either lose lucidity or destabilize the dream by not engaging thoroughly. Haven't thought about tasks for a while, but look at my hand where I have mentally recorded my tasks irl. I recall 4-5 tasks. Any that involve leaving the room are out of the question, as I have the certainty that this lead to me losing control over the situation in this particular dream. So I decide to stay in the room and see what I can do here.

My personal "ask a DC" task comes to mind and I go over to the DC girl that looks like my classmate and ask her how to ld more often. She says a few words that don't make any sense. I repeat the last word she said, asking for a confirmation. While she is in front of me, she continues talking, but now I hear her voice coming from somewhere to my right. I find this kind of strange. Also, the DC of my dad, who only looks like him but has an aggressive nasty feel to him, is there. He behaves daringly, coming closer to me and then grabs me. For a moment I feel helpless as this DC is very strong. I struggle for a while, then recall a similar situation where I escaped a DC by thinking that he can't hold me because I have no hands/body. This works again so he lets go and I back away.

Hearing the girl's voice coming from a different location helps me remember I also wanted to do alternative voice experiments. I say a sentence, but I only hear my own voice. I gather more power and shout out. This time my voice sounds different and there is a pleasant resonance, a bit like echo, but not exactly.

I move on to the next task "transformation" and get ready do it, although I feel that my dream control powers in this dream are very weak. I notice that I am wearing my winter coat plus a hood and feel very warm. I just want to take those winter clothes off before I proceed with the transformation. I start unbuttoning the coat but then remember that none of my naked TOTM attempts were successful. I feel this will take too much time to execute and might destabilize the dream as well. I think about ripping my winter coat, but I just can't find the courage to do it. I go over to another classmate (male) and delegate the task to him.

My classmate does a very good job undressing me, the layers of top clothes just disappear in front of my eyes. Then I get carried away, sit on top of him and start kissing him, forgetting about anything else. A few moments later, I notice that I am sitting in the darkness, I guess kissing with my eyes closed?, but I still feel his body and the room. I begin wondering what exactly am I kissing, are these his lips or his tongue. Very confusing. I can see now, weirdly, his ears catch my attention and I zoom into some strange things there. I tell him that he will need to clean his ears later on.

I have no more sexy interest and think about the dream and that it was pretty stable and long. I am running out of tasks, and regret that I have no idea what this month's TOTM is. I decide that I will try to reach out for this information and my tablet magically appears in front of me. The browser as well as the virtual keyboard open and I want to type dreamviews.com.

The initial letters are fine, but towards the end, the keyboard letters are on the wrong places and reverse. I try to ignore the problem, tapping on where I know the letters should be. I type something close to dreamviews.cm and the page starts loading but the address changes to something like google, and the page that loads is google as well. Just instead of the google logo, it's something with less letters and reverse again. Disappointed I leave the tablet aside and look around.

I think at this point the dream ends, but instead of me going through the void, the dream skips forward to the next scene.

This leaves me a bit confused, as I expect to have a non-ld FA or wake up, so I passively start thinking about this. I remain disoriented in the room as the surroundings change and then gain back my clarity to realize that the dream continued in this strange manner. I am now in a very large furniture store, where me and my bf are the only "clients". It's a very calm atmosphere, crystal clear and extremely realistic. I wonder what to do in this room and see an empty champagne glass that I take with the intention of breaking. I am somewhat reluctant to do it, as it feels bad to be vandalizing this nice quiet real-life like shop. I playfully throw it high in the air, but instread of falling on the floor and breaking, it lands comfortably in my hand. I find this very cool and I do it again...

At this point the snooze alarm wakes me up!

Date: 2 July

Pre bed: SJW, 100mg B6, 1 p.oil capsule

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Early LD (+2hrs after falling asleep): Unfortunately, I don't remember much as I feel asleep after the LD (even though I thought about it briefly) then woke up some time after that to visit the restroom therefore managed to put some key words. Obviously a very exciting to me LD, somewhere outdoors like a yard with lots of DCs and had something to do with TOTM.

WBTB: p.oil capsule and some latte. I was very sleepy and did not spend the necessary time out of bed, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I have very little recall of the dreams that followed too.

Dreams: related to classmates again. Back to school for some event.

OBE/FA/LD: Just before final wake and I guess after some dream I can't remember, I end up in the void. I concentrate on my hearing and notice sounds that most likely come from outside. As I do that I end up in my room. There is some confusion because the part of the bed and room that I see totally looks like my room and everything is very clear. I start some maneuvering to fall asleep/ld?, change the scene, move my dream body while having no idea which body is moving after all. After these dream body movements, I fall on the floor with some bedsheets. While the fall is not physical, I am still slightly confused and think that I may really have fallen down, so continue with my efforts to project somewhere else. Then I notice a toy of mine is on the floor as well, but it is transparent and there's two of it, so that finally works as a plausible RC, but before I could react, I wake up for real and of course I very suspiciously look around and RC.

Comment: Yeah, I definitely prefer those types of WILDs/DILDs where you just enter a dream somewhere else. These in my bed/which body is it type of situations are just so confusing. Also I should increase time out of bed during WBTB even if this means some insomnia, because I have been sleeping so deep lately that recall and LDs suffer. Well, at least I get some nice sleep.

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: I continue to be very sleepy, although recall today was a bit better.

WBTB, snooze and recall: Decided against WBTB (lazy), but set the final alarm for a bit earlier. I had what I thought was an interesting dream in the last 30 mins of sleep so kept on hitting the snooze button, and tried to go back there to continue with the story. That messed up my recall a bit, but I still enjoyed it.

Dream1: We are on the street and a friend of mine says something that irritates me. It hit her with a NG magazine. DCs around me stare at me with disapproval. They also think I am a man hitting a woman. A girl from India comes and I begin explaining myself to her.

She starts giving my friend some creepy advice and then continues to say that "you (not sure who she is addressing) should do some lucid meditation, as one learns by leaps and bounds"

"Red and cinnamon are after all two of many (40?) hues....of the penumbra"???

This dream was really cool, but bf was snoring so loudly, I just couldn't hold on to it for more info.

Dream2: A class meeting, girls only this time, all the usual classmates that are DS, but instead of realizing this is a dream I engage in nonsense conversations. One of the classmates is married to a guy that has to do with chicken production and I comment on some movies I have seem about that. Another female friend of mine has a a girlfriend and buys her some lemonade. I feel jealous.

Dream 3(snooze fragmented and mini-Ld):

I am flying over the street and try to avoid a dangerous individual. Other DCs start running very fast when they are close to him.

I am sitting on a table, looking at some food and want to rescue a burrito from ending up in the trash. This guy acts very agressively and does not allow me to get my burrito. I am forced to go with him. (Snooze)

He is dangerous and most likely has killed someone, and the police is after him. Despite all that, I feel some sympathy towards him and we are friends. He wants us to go to his apartment. I have some alarming thoughts of why am I going to his place, and what are we going to do there, but dismiss them. We reach the street where he lives. I suspect undercover cops have parked in front of the place. Doesn't he know that his apartment is the first place the cops will look for him? He sees the lights of his place are on, so we go back. (Snooze)

He decides to highjack a bus so that we can drive to my place. I really don't want us to go there. I am also worried that he is a reckless driver, so go to the back seat. (Snooze)

I am in the bus/car with him and am looking for my burrito, but it seems like I have changed clothes, have a different handbag and the burrito is gone. I take some time to look around, knowing that this is a dream. The story in my mind lasted pretty long and I find it really cool. I think about reporting this dream and contemplate about my feelings for this guy, I conclude I have the Stockholm syndrome...

I wake up

-------------------------------------

Progress with this months goals (as of this morning):

- Do 100 RCs (6/100) <<<<<<Terrible!
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (4/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (3/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 5 (official count)
micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
suspicious events: 1 (not counted)

During day: (RCs + DS)x10

Total Sleep Time: 7 hrs

Dream recall method: D1-D4 – keywords in notepad; tried to recall D3-D4 somewhat when going back to bed; D5 –straight to tablet after final wake

Dream1: I am back to our first home and live with my parents again. It is late night and I just came back from somewhere. A former classmate has organized a meeting at 12:10 (evening), so I want to go there. I tell my mom that I am going out, although I know she won’t let me. She doesn’t say anything and I take this opportunity to leave as fast as possible. But instead of that, I start preparing to go out and it takes me a very long time, I go to the restroom two times, and it’s 12:50 already. I finally leave and hope that my friends are still there. They are meeting in some kind of a bar where they serve sea food. I head in the direction of the place and try to call the organizer of the event.

Dream2: I am in our first home again, this time in my room. It is dark outside, a few lights are on. I am in the bed with Cal Lightman. He looks terrific, there is not a single wrinkle on his face, a perfect radiant complexion. I feel attracted to him. Since the light is on, the neighbours can actually see me, so I go to the window to block the view of whatever may take place in my room. I can see that there is someone in the nearby building that may actually be watching, so I try to adjust the curtains. That’s not easy at all because the curtain is constantly changing and does not cover the entire window. Once I am satisfied with the result I go back to the bed to Cal, but he is not there anymore. I see an inflatable boat on the floor. It starts to self-inflate and I try to hold it back from expanding in the whole room.



Fragment3: I am in some kind of disco bar most likely with my boyfriend and some unknown DC friends. I start mixing the drinks. I order twice an “amaretto” drink which is more like an alcoholic chocolate mousse. I pay in banknotes that I lay on the table: 20, 10, 10. I have left 2x10 for me, which should be enough to cover another round.

Dream4: In some house with my bf. My mom is there as well. The agreement was that I can sleep over in my bf’s place, but instead I change my mind and decide to spend the night at my parents’ place. My bf is somewhat disappointed but I tell him I will come by in the next few days.

I am in a large building that has been made to accommodate a museum. I am wondering which floor to go to. I see a large painting on the wall and the signature of the artist or some kind of title. I read it out loud. My mom corrects me and pronounces it with two different accents “Exhibition of the composiccion”??? [end]

The alarm wakes me up, 1 hour before my final desired wake time. I visit the restroom, note key words, and have an average desire to lucid. I go back to bed, trying to review the last dream but I fall asleep.

Dream5 [DILD, ToTM]: I am in my old place and am looking through the window. I see some guys carrying a strangely shaped case, I am almost sure that there is some kind of weapon in there. I look back to inside of the room and suddenly become lucid. My bf is sitting on the bed behind me, but I pay no attention to him. I feel a bit as if everything is submerged in invisible water. I look to what is in front of me and a small dog appears in the room. It looks like pug breed type and it moves around really fast. I find it hard to follow it with my gaze. It transforms and is now another kind of puppy with brownish fur. I remember I should try to interact with the dream, grab something, so I grab the puppy and caress it a bit. Then I remember that I have to eat something for ToTM. [IRL I thought it would be easier to lick something, but completely forgot it in the dream] I look at the puppy, which is quickly transformed into some strange kind of meat left-over, and I wonder if I should eat the puppy? No way I eat that puppy, or whatever it is now! I get slightly distracted as next to the ex-puppy leftover is some wool thread and I have a strong desire to thought-lift and make it twirl around. I focus my eyes on it and try to move it, but I feel some resistance. I manage to move it a bit but not the way I wanted, I give up.

Still with the eating ToTM in mind, I look frantically around, I need to find something to eat and think of going in the kitchen to look for something. At that point I turn around and I see my bf eating bread. I think, bread ? Too plain, but whatever! He holds the very last piece in his hand. I tell him not to eat it. He mouth-feeds me the piece of soft white bread and I chew it slowly. It tastes like bread. I become very suspicious because of the intensity of the flavour and start thinking that while I am dreaming, my real boyfriend could really be feeding me with some bread and laughing at me. I ask my dream boyfriend if that is the case, but he denies.



Since I am still not awake I decide to do the only other thing I remember – try chanting Om. I go into another room, this is a completely different place now. I am by myself here, there is something wooden and green maybe the window frames, 2 lamps hang as low as my chest. I try to chant omm, but some shriek-like sound comes instead. I feel like this is not going to work. I hear another sound and then see the door to the apartment moving by itself and banging as if moved by the wind. Perhaps I should close it? But then my expectations start to build and I know something or someone is behind the door. Some DC quickly enters through the door, initially the shape of my bf, but it is not him. I don’t want to have another chase ruin the LD, so I try not to pay too much attention to him. At that moment 5-6 DCs enter, behaving a bit menacing they are walking towards me. I try to change my expectations and their reactions. They kind of slow down a bit and are somewhat more manageable so I am pretty happy with that.

I walk out of the apartment, through the door and find myself into something like mall or maybe inside a big store. I see a section where they sell semi-precious stones, some one-piece bracelets made of stone, like jade. I really like what I am seeing. I am starting to lose control over my own actions, perhaps being too happy with the dream. The DCs are following me now as I make a few steps while staring at the precious stones section. My subconscious turns on the music and I start singing a song cabaret style “Lucidity, the dream is fixed, lucidity” and joyfully march a few more steps. [end]

The dream collapses and I find myself in darkness, closed eyelids. I remain still and try to DEILD but can’t reconnect. I begin to feel sleepy so I decide to wake up before I forget everything. The dream memory feels more evasive that usual and I barely manage to hold on to it.

Final notes:I am confirming the best time for my DILDs so far is the last hour before final wake (with 7-8hrs sleep). Today I allowed myself an hour sleep to possibly LD instead of my somewhat successful snooze DILD experiments.

Another thing I find important to note is stabilization. My DILDs last long enough and there is really no need for me to rush like a crazy monkey, compromising dream stability and later recall. Next time: take it slow!