NyxCC

Date: 31st Aug

Pre bed: 200mg valerian, calcium&magnesium

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Comments: The night started not so well, as our guest was leaving and traveling in the middle of the night. No, we are not vampires.

Early mini-ld fragment (+2hrs): I am in our family friends' building, it is dark at night and I am running from the thought of something like an alien that can't be beaten up. As I go up the stairs, the last floor keeps on changing. I become lucid but still involved with the dream, I try to figure a way out of the situation. Our family friends (she and him) also appear up there and there are some thoughts of realization? about them and talking. She then says something rude to me that I wonder how to post on DV.

I wake up, still holding the memory of the dream in my mind, at that time fully accessible, but I soon fall asleep. I am woken up by our guest's alarm and we all get up, I have a very hard time falling asleep later. I go into unmemorable sleep for hours.

Fragment: I am angry and break a coffee cup

Fragment: I think I was trying to hook to a dream since I recall doing some repetitive movements in the scene and then the dream fading and I briefly acknowledge this in bed.

Pre ld fragment: I am about the witness a heartbreaking family reunion scene

Pre ld dream: We are in the tram/bus and this woman gives us some brochures with specific info about a female criminal. Nobody knows what this is about just me and my friend. Later on, I am in our old place and want to discuss the stuff with possibly my mom. However, before I do that, a classmate of mine gets me alone in another room, insisting to know what's this all about. I tell him I have no idea and get out the room. I see that he has some spy sound amplifying equipment and I go to my room and look for a some paper to write to mom that he is listening to us. He is also lurking behind the door. I grab a notebook and try to hide it from him.

LD: I am on the street in front of our old home and as I look around, realize this is a dream. I decide I would try to speed fly down the street. I take off and fly at high speed, but the street is not quite straight and I initially have difficulty taking a turn and get off track, then do a bit of maneuvering slightly similar to turning while swimming and am fast flying on the street again. It feels great but the only problem now is I move faster than my expectations so it's a bit uncertain what's in front of me. The street changes to facilitate that and now all I can see is trees on both sides moving closer together and I aim to fly straight in the center of all this.

I slow down, pass through the trees and end up facing something like a lake in the middle of an unknown neighborhood. I briefly wonder whether this would count for summon for the competition. There are houses and buildings to the left. I fly over the lake, feeling as if I am running out of fuel and try to land near the houses/buildings. There is a tall wall that separates them from the lake and I am looking for the right spot. I barely make it to the top of the wall with flying near a house that I like. I take a moment to relax and think about my next steps. The place where I have landed is not part of the wall anymore, but is the top of some structure, as if I am sitting on a chimney. I also perceive this thought as the image of the shadow of me on top of this place, right in front of me. The idea that I get rid of my human shape and jump/float ahead comes to mind.

Before I do anything, I take a look around and see that now am standing on an old bridge where there are the remains of large elephant statues in Indian style as part of the structure. They are extremely beautiful, decorations carved in the stone. I look at another one in front of me and see a date 1995, try to memorize it and as I stare at it the 5 changes into 7. I feel it's not a very good idea to keep staring like this as this may destabilize the dream. I remember CL's tech of boosting dream vividness and want to do that and enhance stability as well. I turn around and now there is a small elephant statue in front of me, so I run fingers on its surface and pat the stone a few times.

Right behind the elephant statue is a street that leads to a small plaza with yet another magnificent statue that I am not sure of what but there is an element that looks like wings with bits of gold on the edges/wing waves. There are lots of kids on the street, I notice they are dark skinned, assume they are Indian. A little girl with short hair and present day clothes comes to me and I decide I will engage in a conversation with her and concentrate as much as possible on that and her features (as if rl). She looks at me smiling, one of the happiest DCs I have ever seen. There is something about that little girl which fills me with both joy and sadness and I ask her "Is this where souls live?", she says yes and goes on that I also live here with her and shows me a building (perhaps close to Italian city style) to my right. She says we live together on the first floor. I am not sure I like living on the first floor, but accept this at the moment as I am very curious to see where I live.

The dream ends and I find myself in bed, contemplating whether to try a DEILD but my nose itches plus I am not very sure I want to mess up this memory. Time to wake up...

Date: 22 May

Total Sleep Time: 8 hrs

WBTB: 120 mg gingko

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, but I was very sleepy today, I guess that has affected my recall. My prospective memory and concentration during the lucid were not at their best either.

Fragment1: the dream involved Xanos, no other memory

Dream2: A class meeting again. It is late at night and we are discussing with the girls where we are about to go. I feel like dancing so I am totally fine with any place they suggest. I notice that they have put on some weight. My dad is over-protective and follows me around. I arrange to secretly meet with my best school friend and take her to a concert. I will buy her the ticket. On what I think is the next day, we meet in the morning and take the subway. She has moved to my city, it seems.

Fragment3: We are eating some mix of bacon and cheese, tasted very realistic

Fragment4: the office is closed, my dad is looking for something

WBTB: Took gingko. Recalled dreams and did some dream incubation during which I have fallen asleep.

Dream5: I am watching some trees from above, and want to change their color. It feels a bit like I am observing using google map. Soon I am at the place of interest, in the middle of a lake. There is an old wood-made ship close to the also quite old and dusty quay. I have a game like attitude and want to rearrange the whole place. I succeed in making more space where I want to. Then I am in the water, swimming forward, but it is not very pleasant because this lake is a bit dirty. There is also a fish nearby, and I don’t like that.

Dream6: Instead of the normal section of a restaurant, I decide to follow a DC and go to another part. I am climbing some stairs to reach my destination, but the place is very hard to get to because the doors are smaller. I reach the third floor, where I talk to the waiter – a friend of mine. Three other DCs appear. One of them tells me that he has a Japanese geisha girlfriend and that they are in an open relationship, they are dating some other special girl. He shows me a brochure where all this is explained using some strange Japanese words. I think that he expects me to join their little arrangement, so I say no thanks.

Fragment7: I am in a car, and the waiter of another place we were in, is now John Malkovich. He comes in, bringing my favourite sandwiches. They are perfect.

Dream8 DILD: I am in an interesting looking town, but pay little attention to it at first. I am with four friends, one girl I clearly know, two DC friends in the background and another girl. The other girl is the girlfriend of a friend of mine, and she has come to meet me. At first, I don’t feel at ease with the two girls, even though they are friends, so I fly to the level of the first floor, and follow everybody as they are walking down the street, just above them. I think of why I am doing this and then fly back down. The new girl has brought me some presents – she hands me two notebooks, with school notes, chemistry and other stuff. Then another one with patriotic poems translated in a foreign language. Who would want to read something like that, I am thinking to myself.

At some point which I cannot remember, I become lucid. I feel I have spent a long time exploring around. The next more clear lucid memory is me, still in that city, which looks like a medieval city, feeling happy and going for some tasks (which I don’t remember at all). Then I look around and enjoy the place, the walls of the houses around are made from a dark stone with a hint of green. It feels like an Italian city during Middle Ages. It also reminds me of a number of other dreams I had. One more recent one was in a modern Italian city. The Colosseum should be somewhere to my right, I am thinking and desire to go to that place. At the same time, I try to engage a few DCs to help me on my quest. I look ahead and see DCs passing by, I try to stop them, but they are moving really fast, strong momentum, so I cannot stop them. (The second time this has happened). I look at a DC in front of me and notice how beautiful, elaborate and medieval/renaissance-like her clothes are. I get closer to a DC woman that is not moving, she is some kind of monk, and ask her for help/directions, but she is not helpful at all (interact with DC).

I continue and find another male DC, a peasant, he looks a bit blurry. I know that this dream has been going on for really long, so to avoid it ending I come up with the idea to stabilize the dream by kissing him. He is not really ugly, I find him rather unpleasant, but still, I kiss him. I realize that I am doing something objectionable to me, yet I keep doing it. The dream feels much more stable (stabilize dream), but then someone tells me that as a result of my behaviour, I have now two children and that man is my husband. This place is my home now. It all suddenly feels so realistic to me that I lose my lucidity. I begin to fret about those responsibilities and that I won’t be able to leave the place now. At the same time, I know that this city is special and that there are wormholes appearing every now and then, so I can use one of them to escape. I look at a live city map, which shows the location of the currently active wormhole.

I continue sleeping and have another dream that I cannot recall. I wake up and feel frustrated because I have no memory of the last few dreams. Then fragments start to emerge.

Comment: Although I managed to recover some of the memory of that lucid, it is upsetting that once again I am unable to remember a part of the experience. And yet, it is much better than not remembering anything at all.