NyxCC

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 2/2

I thoroughly review in head the previous dreams and get more insomnia

Vaguely recall these two as I fell asleep afterwards.

DILD: I am in this yard like it was in the past, much wider, etc. Know I am dreaming and think of music. It think there was happiness, confidence and possibly thoughts about something before this part.

I start to sing or expect to hear a song. My subcon picks up a dream remix of "heal the world" by M. Jackson. I concentrate on making it sound like sung by a choir and hear the music loudly coming from everywhere and into me. Notice a few instruments too, really nice. I keep singing with the music but at some point I don't know the lyrics so that makes it hard for the music to continue. In addition, the more I become one with the music coming all around me, the more I lose sight of the yard and the dream and become blind. The dream soon fades.

I may have a micro awakening or so, no review, continue sleepying.

DILD:Don't remember the beginning of the dream. I am in this room, talking to bf and open and close a few doors, where I think about not locking them as it is a dream.

Bf is going somewhere but before I can say anything else, he vanishes. There's a stick that I decide to leave outside, should I need it for defense? I also notice a strange gurgling sound coming from a pipe, find it interesting. I go back to the same room, there were lots of bed there before but now it's a single connected bed the size of four beds is covering most of the room.

I remember I wanted to play with my ipad, so I try to summon it by drawing its shape with my fingers. It's funny because I do this instinctively rather than consciously. While there's a rectangular shape in progress, it isn't working to produce an ipad and on the bed just below my hands is my ipad so I grab it and try to stretch the frame. It happens, just as if I was dragging the image of a frame on a PC. I expand the screen to a TV size, then have to apply a bit more stretching as it does not stay in the desired shape for long. It gets small again. I think about trying to control the image.

Then something happens outside and now there are two scary zombi-like DCs and they are about to enter the place. I try to close the door although know they will get in anyways. I decide to face them and affect them. Actually, I feel quite confident and no matter how ugly they are (especially one with something coming out of his mouth), I just feel positivity and so spread it to them. They become quite happy and we just hang in there like drunk buddies. I stare in the eyes of one of them, he feels like a phantom rather than real person and is not looking at me with any purpose/driving force. The dream soon fades.

I black out before being able to journal and have a few other dream fragments.

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 1/2

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, had trouble falling asleep (external factors)

At some point, I begin to feel energetic as has been occasionally the case, but interrupt the process by visiting the restroom. Finding a comfortable position is not easy.

WILD: Finally, I turn to my lhs and remain still for some time. Then find myself staring at this DC woman with green blouse, it feels like I'm in.

I make cautious movements, trying to get up from the same position I was sleeping, initially just move my head. A slight scene change, I am now in my old room. I begin rocking sideways, the way I did at the beginning of another ld. This makes me feel more comfortable/fit in my dream body. Then I fully get up. The dream feels slightly unstable and I head for the window, where I tear down the curtains and look outside.

It is dark as hell, no light in the apartment and not a single light in the entire town. I remember to look at the sky - it's mostly clear, a slight mist and no stars at all. I look to my right and feel a bit creeped out. It is dark there. My worry is that I might summon something by habit. I recall I wanted to and shortly do breathing exercises. The effect is very powerful, I feel lots of saturated energy coming in and as part of me.

I decide to get in and turn around, it is a bit brighter in the room. I head towards the switch and turn it on. No light. Then I concentrate on the bulb and try to make light radiate from it, there's some effect but the room does not get brighter. I imagine another lamp and try to do the same with similar results.

Maybe I can use some candles, so I summon three small blue candles and work hard to light them. I've always thought that lighting a candle should be easy in a dream, but it turns out not. I just can't imagine the fire I guess. The wicks get bigger and fluffier and the candles change to larger ones and I make some fire-like sparks with my hands, rubbing the wick, hoping it will catch fire and use the other candles to spread it. They appear to have a ghostlike fire now, but don't emit much light as I place them around. I am annoyed with my abilities, but feel that I just need to do some fire gazing irl to improve them.

I retreat to the bed and examine the furniture. There's lots of stuff around and it looks as if I am back in this room. I wonder about how accurate the proportions are. It's exactly the same size. Most of the objects belong to the particular time frame when I lived there, but there is the blanket from our current home. Then a sofa from our old place appears for my amusement. I think about doing more breathing exercises (maybe just a few breaths?, not much done or effect) and contemplate on my life while living there. In the meantime, it is a much brighter day outside, when did that happen? Cool!

At some point I notice that I am holding a melting candle in my hand and decide to extinguish it and put it aside, but somehow feel that this symbolic act means the end of the dream. Indeed, just a bit later, the dream starts to thin out.

I think I did touch on my body very briefly, but it might have been a in-dream chain.

DEILD/DILD: I eagerly wait for the next scene, wondering if it will be in the same place. I see (kind of like in third person) myself walking in bathrobe in this place. I'm in properly now and have the ability to look around and choose where I want to go. It's inside a building and I look at this open door which reveals a softly lit bedroom apartment. I briefly consider it, but prefer to go outside, so head towards the door. It seems that it is still winter, piles of semi-thawed snow and I am not properly dressed, but for once boldly go outside. I try to phase through the glass door, but it's solid so I just open it. As I pass through the back entrance of the building and yard I see that part of the yard is sunlit and feel happy about that. Maybe I will finally have the opportunity to look for a palace looking building once I get to the street. I also think about possibly being invisible, but not sure how to apply at this point.

There are different levels of the side of the building, so I have to maneuver by climbing near a balcony to manage reaching the front of the building. I see a weirdly shaped gray cat there and wonder if it is a real cat and can see me (cats are supposed to see things like people possibly obeing), but it doesn't react like it would if that were the case. It's controlled by my thoughts and comes closer. There's something not very catlike in it, like another sort of animal I can't identify. I don't want to get too involved (and have it stuck to me like a blanket) so ignore it and think about finding the palace. There are only normal buildings around and I think I need to get in the middle of the street where I would get a clearer (trees here) view of the buildings and hopefully think of or see something appropriate.

In the middle of the street and my mood is great, sun is shining brighter too. I do some sort of bounce where I float and remain mid air and then gently float up. Very pleasant feel. I come near this tree with very small bipinnate leaves (possibly closest to honey locust tree, but with thicker leaves), it looks very beautiful. I'm starting to lose height so wonder if I should use the nearby thin end of the branch to hold on to, but with the delicate tree leaves this is not going to be very nice for the tree. I prefer not to do any mess on the tree even if a dream tree.

[mood change]

In the meantime, I see two female DCs that I identify as bitches down on the street. My attention is directed at them, I want to and then do something to one of them. I briefly wonder why the hell do I have these desires with those bitches, one of them looks a bit like Rachel Weiss. Luckily, even after what I have done, I manage to control my impulse and don't get a sexy feeling. I think about my tasks again. I am now in what reminds me of my school but the building is kind of shifty/unstable. I think that maybe I should summon my dad and he will drop me off the palace. The dream fades.

Date: 08 Jan

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, around 34 mg caffeine

I'm quite sleepy and resist waking myself too much, but still try to stay as awake as possible while in bed, repeating mantras and goals. I fall asleep with some long deep REM rebound.

DILD: It's a very long dream where me and parents get ready for a trip. Then I meet a DC that feels like a kindred sprit, I am eager to discuss with him possible solutions to a problem we both have.

A few moments later, I realize that this is a dream and remember my goals, freeze water and go fishing. The guy disappears somewhere. I am walking in what looks like a park and as I think about the task, I see that there are large puddles of water all around. Initially, I try to use them for the task even though they are too shallow and begin freezing them by willing it as well as by placing my hands down over one of them, where while they freeze, they emanate coldness and there's a cool mist effect lifting from the puddles! But then I realize this isn't going to work for the task and walk a bit further where there's a much larger and deeper body of water, like a pond.

I will the water to turn to ice, but to my surprise nothing happens. This annoys me. I contemplate whether to just get on the water as if it is frozen, but am uncertain if it will work, if I continue to expect to sink if I step on it. In the meantime, the water finally freezes. When I look at the surface, I see that part of it begins to melt already and dig with my hands in the softened ice to make a hole. This happens quite easily with no discomfort from the cold. There's some coldness, but it's ok, since I didn't think about it too much. I put my hands through the hole, reaching as far as I can and expecting to run across a catch.

I wait for a while but there's nothing around them and it gets kind of creepy what might be lurking in the darkness below the ice. In the area that's partially covered with ice, I can now see a number of small fish swimming around and succeed in catching one. It is a small tropical butterfly type fish but silver and red. As I hold it, my bf appears next to me and I tell him to take a picture, which I so much wish I could bring to rl, but before he can take the pic, the fish escapes.

I become so happy that have completed the task, I lose lucidity and begin to tell the dream to myself. After a while, I realize the dream is still going. Now I'm on the street in some neighborhood, there is an unconscious movement from my part and I end up floating in mid air, slightly above the ground, very stable though. I correctly recall this feeling from many dreams I had and exclaim to myself that taking off isn't as difficult as I have thought (previously irl). This is a good opportunity to practice a bit of flying and I do some flight manipulation, where I try to think of the direction and my body flies well in that direction. Then I try to take a turn and go in the opposite direction, but it doesn't quite work.

More rather random movements mid air and then I fly high up near a tall residence building, where I climb the last three stories using my hands. I somehow take a step back (see the building from a distance, although I am at the level of the third to last story). A black dotted panther on the balcony catches my attention. It looks kind of small, but actually it is the right size compared to the balcony and the stuff around it. The whole building seems small as if I am looking at it from a distance, yet I am very close to it. I briefly pay attention to that, but then wonder no more. There is a dalmatian in the apartment with the panther and I just so love exploring people's places, like in many non-lds. On the balcony below is a centipede, a very long one, apparently the same size as the panther (fits the balcony lenght). It doesn't look very appealing and I see two more on different balconies, I become vaguely aware that I am causing the one-many effect.

At some point I discarded the idea of going for Toty, because I thought the dream might end, but since it's still going, I decide to give it a try. Somehow, I go down to the ground and begin exploring a dream version of a familiar street. The bus station is here, only residential buildings, some larger buildings appear, but nothing that looks like a palace. I head towards the larger buildings that seem suitable and try to think that one of them is a palace. It starts to change, more and more detail is added and it becomes a flashy top notch casino. I still believe I could change it to a palace by trying to add a few columns at the entrance, but just increase the level of detail/casino quality.

I move on to the next building's entrance, which I recognize as some sort of amusement area. There's a distant dream memory also at work. Since I don't feel I'll get anywhere further with the palace, I eagerly get in, looking forward to having some fun. At this point I remember a dream where I took a super cool ride at a place that looked like this and become very excited. The lobby of the place where they sell the tickets is visitor empty, there's just the guy that sells the tickets, a girl that will ride with me and a male DC. The tall male DC next to my right is accompanying me to the cashier and I get a number of false memories and begin to have romance thoughts about him.

The DC at the desk gives me weird instructions of how to properly hold to the cart and my behavior while next to the girl that's also taking the ride. She is new, so I have to be careful. Bla bla, my lucidity level is dropping. I go to the girl and we wait to be let in to the ride but the dream finally fades and I wake up.

Post 2/2 for 16th of Sept

LD2: this dream/dreams have been going on forever, with lots of scene changes and it has been very hard to recover it.

I am in our old bathroom and the B6 woman is here again. We get into a fight again, I squeeze some shampoo in her eyes.

A lucid scene here I can't remember, I am examining my hands and think how normal and real they look, even though I know it's a dream.

I look out the window of this place where I believe I live and see a familiar city. I have some thoughts that I wasn't able to fulfill my goals because I always get stuck in these rooms and I need to go outdoors to make it work better.

I fly outside, but my flight is kind of bad and I end up in a river/marsh. I am on the surface, then sinking down as I wonder what to do. I give myself instructions about what to think and how to modify the terrain below me and there are some changes, but on the whole it doesn't work as it's supposed to and I continue sinking. All kinds of sensations (including void-like) as I feel submerged yet my head is above the water.

I think this must have ended with the void.

I just remember that am in a car with bf and a blonde woman with short hair. She reminds me of an actress. I turn my back on the road and sit on top of the the woman, facing her, then look around. I notice the color of her clothes, blue and green. Really nice colors and fit her very well. I can also see that now I am wearing the same blue shirt as her. The next moment, the woman offers to do some sexy things on me and after a short thought I find the strength to refuse. I concentrate on the phone task and get a phone from one of them. I press the dial button and listen. Immediately a random guy answers, eager for a conversation. I know he's not the right person, so I tell him wrong number and attempt to hang up but he tries to convince me it is the right number. He also says some funny stuff I can't recall.

I take a moment to think that this dream has been going on for a while and I am already forgetting some parts.

At some point, there is some sort of funny nonsensical text on the phone that now turns to some other object, that I try to memorize and temporary do, but as I try to read it again all the letters change.

I can't remember what happened, but now I am in this place, like a large appartment, with lots of DCs all around, mostly representing people I know. I am still trying to call Xanous, have another phone in my hand and I struggle with the phone book. You could say that my lucidity level drops as all kinds of false memories emerge and I am trying not to show I care in front of the people that know me.

For some reason I believe that I have Xanous' real number, that he has given me his real number. I also see some photos of the blue bedsheets of his kid, some toys and other stuff I can't remember. This is on some sort of TV screen now and I am using a remote control (or is it the phone?) to try to navigate the menu and just get to the number and hide from my friends that I have been given all this info.

I finally get the right number, press the dial key and listen. For a while nobody picks up and then the voice mail turns on and I can hear Xanous' voice. He says something briefly and then there's lots of music and sounds as I nervously wait for what seems like forever to be able to leave a message.

I start a long speech from which I remember the first and last sentences.

"Hey Xanous, I made it, I am calling you from a dream. ....

Do you know how hard it has been to keep this super long dream going, pick up."

My voice changes as I speak. I finally exhaust myself with the speech and end the conversation. I look outside and think that now that I am done calling Xanous, I can move to the next task, Angel Falls. It feels like my determination to make that call has been the key factor holding this dream together for a such an great amount of time and now it slowly begins to fade and I wake up.

Date: 16th Sept

Pre bed: 3mg mel

WBTB: 26 mg caffeine (capp.)

Comment: post 1/2 for 16th of Sept. Way behind with updating, trying to keep these post as efficient as possible.

Micro-ld: In my first room, at some point in the dream, I make a call to this woman in the administration and discuss some things with her.

I am in the room and moving in a strange manner, float gliding on the floor and know that this is a dream. I keep on moving around like this but then see the B6 bitch and for some reason assume that she is real. I get totally distracted by what she says and lose 99 percent of my lucidity. We start fighting, bitting and scratching each other. While we are fighting, I keep contemplating, how could I know that this is a dream, she looks so much like her real self.

LD1: I find myself on the street of my hometown and happily remark that this is a dream. I see this guy I know and his friends and think about a song I want to make them sing. I make a few movements with my hands to control the guys like a conductor and get some results but when I listen more closely, they seem to talk more than sing and are slightly out of sync. Then from somewhere I can hear the Manu Chao song (which is a mix of many similar songs) play loudly from somewhere. The sound is absolutely fantastic and I am thinking about how cool listening to a song like this in a dream is. I can hold my concentration on the music for a while and then it stops. I see my friend, still euphoric I greet her and think about interacting with her, but then decide to leave the memory of her alone. I feel the dream is fading.

A classmate of mine appears and I decide to hold on to him for stabilization. I embrace him. He is wearing a T-shirt similar to that of bf. He puts his hands around my waist and then moves one hand to my butt. I feel that this may quickly escalate to something else as I have a moment of sexy feelings. I look at his face, his lips. But no! I have been thinking about this lately (very annoyed with myself), so no! We are just hugging, I concentrate on that and make the sexy feeling go away. I still enjoy the moment, it is like as if we are about to dance to this soft music that I can almost hear at the background. Then I feel a drop of water on my hand and look around to see that it is starting to rain. Absolutely amazing effect, I think to myself. I am still in the same position, in his embrace, pretending to be stabilizing and examine his well shaped arm, notice his tan and the (sorry guys) flawless soft golden hairs. And as if taking in all this detail isn't enough, I can suddenly see his chest expanding and it dawns on me that he is breathing like a normal person. I find his breathing extremely fascinating, due to the fact that this is a dream, and also as I ponder how my subcon has created so much life like detail this time. I must be really immersed in the dream, I think to myself.

Unfortunately, I am taking too much time in this state of awe and feel the dream starts to fade again. I remember I wanted to make a call and look around. There is another DC to my left, similar to another classmate. I also think about my classmate who's holding me. These DCs must have a phone with them. But before I can do anything else the dream totally fades and I wake up.