NyxCC

Date: 2 July

Pre bed: SJW, 100mg B6, 1 p.oil capsule

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Early LD (+2hrs after falling asleep): Unfortunately, I don't remember much as I feel asleep after the LD (even though I thought about it briefly) then woke up some time after that to visit the restroom therefore managed to put some key words. Obviously a very exciting to me LD, somewhere outdoors like a yard with lots of DCs and had something to do with TOTM.

WBTB: p.oil capsule and some latte. I was very sleepy and did not spend the necessary time out of bed, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I have very little recall of the dreams that followed too.

Dreams: related to classmates again. Back to school for some event.

OBE/FA/LD: Just before final wake and I guess after some dream I can't remember, I end up in the void. I concentrate on my hearing and notice sounds that most likely come from outside. As I do that I end up in my room. There is some confusion because the part of the bed and room that I see totally looks like my room and everything is very clear. I start some maneuvering to fall asleep/ld?, change the scene, move my dream body while having no idea which body is moving after all. After these dream body movements, I fall on the floor with some bedsheets. While the fall is not physical, I am still slightly confused and think that I may really have fallen down, so continue with my efforts to project somewhere else. Then I notice a toy of mine is on the floor as well, but it is transparent and there's two of it, so that finally works as a plausible RC, but before I could react, I wake up for real and of course I very suspiciously look around and RC.

Comment: Yeah, I definitely prefer those types of WILDs/DILDs where you just enter a dream somewhere else. These in my bed/which body is it type of situations are just so confusing. Also I should increase time out of bed during WBTB even if this means some insomnia, because I have been sleeping so deep lately that recall and LDs suffer. Well, at least I get some nice sleep.

Date: 11 June

Comments: A bit behind on journaling, today's entry to be posted later, and sorry for any typos.

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: multivits, l-arginine

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, started earlier (3+ hrs after sleep), dream content was normal this time (referring to l-arginine). Recall - I was lazy

Early Fragment1: I was left with the impression that this was lucid, but very little memory of it. It had to do with seeing some objects from Xanous's OBE? The only more or less clear visual memory is of small cotton-like object/s. >>> goes to category suspicious

Fragment2: In my parents' place, some disturbing noise

Dream3: I thought it was interesting and easy to remember. We all know how this ends.

WBTB: missed the usual natural wake, woke up a bit later, and I drank the whole latte although I knew it was not such a good idea. Struggled for quite some time, but did not look at the clock as not to add up more anxiety.

Dream4: In my parents' place, aunt is also there and starts eating, this distracts me. I casually lie on the couch, three blankets and a bottle of plum sauce.

Dreamlet5: some rasta guy

I drift in and out of sleep. In bed, I want to sleep. I continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

Dream6 WILD: I'm in those strange states where I am semi-consciously controlling what I'm doing, trying to have the dream form around me and hold on to it. The first thing I notice are my hands, clasping a bottle. Slightly confused as I think for a second I am still in bed, I keep my eyes closed. Still not fully in the dream, I know that the key to my integration today has to do with me holding the bottle of I think then alcohol or plum sauce, so I apply as much pressure as I can. Then the surroundings become clearer and I know I am successfully there.

I am sitting on a bench in my neighborhood, no DCs in sight. I begin touching the surface of the white bench to stabilize. I look up and see a few ghost-like transparent but black birds in the sky. I check out my surroundings but I have an issue moving my head, and then identify that the problem is coming from my right eye, which gets some sort of tunnel vision. I don't want to move my head too much to avoid waking up, so I ignore this and decide to walk on the street.

I make a few steps and then my right side is paralyzed, so I lose balance and fall. Oh, no, not this thing again! The feeling is very hard to describe, but it's like I am feeling the physical body's atonia with my dream body, which makes me lose control over parts of the dream body. I try to ignore the issue, drag myself forward a bit and think that maybe concentrating on some tasks will fix it. I remember four tasks. I don't think I am able to get to Xanous at the moment. There are no DCs around to interact with. I think about transformation but nothing seems to happen. What did the guys say to do in such a case? Try floating up. Doesn't work. I have no dream control at all.

It is also cold, and I notice my blanket is nearby so I want to reach for it. The last thing I remember is looking above a building and seeing a large dark military helicopter above it. It is also ghost-like transparent. I am not very interested in it, I look down, struggle for a little while and then give up. I wake up. I am too caffeinated to fall asleep although I try.

Note: This was not scary in any way, but it was really annoying.

Comments:

1. Yes, drinking the whole latte was a mistake!
2. Starting an ld from scratch can be a pain in the b. I need more practice.

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- Do 100 RCs (8/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (9/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (4/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 6 (official count) as of 11th June
micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Our guests woke me up again, I spent about an hour trying to fall asleep, my mind was way too awake, and when I finally fell asleep I got into some WILD/OBE thing where I couldn’t move much.

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

HI dreamlet1: Some woman, her face was colored black with something like tar. She lives in the woods, in a hole under the trees. A scary story begins about the holes in the woods.

HI dreamlet2: I am an unknown street most likely in my home town, have different hairstyle

Dream3 WILD/OBE: I am in my hometown again, in front of me are my guests. I am looking at my hands, some blue pink ghost like double layer is also visible. My hands quickly stretch out, a familiar feeling, they stretch into infinity, space bends and the whole of me is quickly sucked forward. I also feel my dream body detaching. A short moment of darkness follows and then I find myself on our old balcony. It is dark, there is some light perhaps from the moon. I immediately notice my position and feel my dream body. Instead of my feet being on the floor of the balcony, my midsection is where the floor is and my feet are below it. Don’t feel the floor, I notice that my position and state is somewhat similar to when I sometimes meditate – I am physically sitting, but feel the rest of my body is standing. I decide not to pay too much attention to that because I have to stabilize. I run my fingers over the surface of the balcony, very realistic. Everything is rather clear, but I can’t move my legs. I try to but I can’t.

I decide that perhaps I should give my dream body some more time to adapt to the dream. I start rubbing my hands, now my elbows barely move! I decide to wait a bit, but black out for a second, then I am back to the dream still no improvement. I force my limbs to move, and I can feel a great force on them preventing them from moving. I try touching the wall again with my fingertips, but it doesn’t help. I look to my side, towards the end of the balcony and see many plants there, it looks like a small jungle, it is dark and there is a dark hole between the plants. Now, it is definitely not the time to expect something scary to come out of there, I tell myself. I try to be indifferent about it. I then notice that a song is playing “give me my love, give me my love”, a nice song, but then it gets stuck, the same part plays over and over again. I wake up.

Comments and Analysis: I was worried after waking up that I have finally managed to mess myself up and instead of having normal LDs, the more time I spend in the void, the more aware I become of my falling asleep and will begin to get stuck more in the middle. I really hope not! Now, I feel relaxed about the situation, but am sure I will be getting more experiences where I would need to remain calm.

The stretching hands and being pulled forward (not just the two bodies separating) experience plus ghost like layer is something I have seen before and I kind of relate to OBE types of experiences (if these can be differentiated from WILD). I can only say it is a different feeling altogether.

Such continuous dream paralysis is not something completely new, but the only memories I have of it are when I was a very young. I don’t remember getting stuck in the middle of a floor ever.

Some explantion why this happened: I am thinking that the longer time spent in WBTB, the more my mind is aware of my physical body. If I WBTB for 5 min, then I would transition to the dream much faster. An alternative explanation is that I am being increasingly aware of the void and this somehow affects me.

Future strategy: I really have to write a few key words on a piece of paper so that I don’t forget. 1. Patience and detachment. I didn’t panic today, but the situation could have been different. 2. Rubbing hands 3. Try zooming into something else or 4. Try floating up?