NyxCC

Post 2/2 for 16th of Sept

LD2: this dream/dreams have been going on forever, with lots of scene changes and it has been very hard to recover it.

I am in our old bathroom and the B6 woman is here again. We get into a fight again, I squeeze some shampoo in her eyes.

A lucid scene here I can't remember, I am examining my hands and think how normal and real they look, even though I know it's a dream.

I look out the window of this place where I believe I live and see a familiar city. I have some thoughts that I wasn't able to fulfill my goals because I always get stuck in these rooms and I need to go outdoors to make it work better.

I fly outside, but my flight is kind of bad and I end up in a river/marsh. I am on the surface, then sinking down as I wonder what to do. I give myself instructions about what to think and how to modify the terrain below me and there are some changes, but on the whole it doesn't work as it's supposed to and I continue sinking. All kinds of sensations (including void-like) as I feel submerged yet my head is above the water.

I think this must have ended with the void.

I just remember that am in a car with bf and a blonde woman with short hair. She reminds me of an actress. I turn my back on the road and sit on top of the the woman, facing her, then look around. I notice the color of her clothes, blue and green. Really nice colors and fit her very well. I can also see that now I am wearing the same blue shirt as her. The next moment, the woman offers to do some sexy things on me and after a short thought I find the strength to refuse. I concentrate on the phone task and get a phone from one of them. I press the dial button and listen. Immediately a random guy answers, eager for a conversation. I know he's not the right person, so I tell him wrong number and attempt to hang up but he tries to convince me it is the right number. He also says some funny stuff I can't recall.

I take a moment to think that this dream has been going on for a while and I am already forgetting some parts.

At some point, there is some sort of funny nonsensical text on the phone that now turns to some other object, that I try to memorize and temporary do, but as I try to read it again all the letters change.

I can't remember what happened, but now I am in this place, like a large appartment, with lots of DCs all around, mostly representing people I know. I am still trying to call Xanous, have another phone in my hand and I struggle with the phone book. You could say that my lucidity level drops as all kinds of false memories emerge and I am trying not to show I care in front of the people that know me.

For some reason I believe that I have Xanous' real number, that he has given me his real number. I also see some photos of the blue bedsheets of his kid, some toys and other stuff I can't remember. This is on some sort of TV screen now and I am using a remote control (or is it the phone?) to try to navigate the menu and just get to the number and hide from my friends that I have been given all this info.

I finally get the right number, press the dial key and listen. For a while nobody picks up and then the voice mail turns on and I can hear Xanous' voice. He says something briefly and then there's lots of music and sounds as I nervously wait for what seems like forever to be able to leave a message.

I start a long speech from which I remember the first and last sentences.

"Hey Xanous, I made it, I am calling you from a dream. ....

Do you know how hard it has been to keep this super long dream going, pick up."

My voice changes as I speak. I finally exhaust myself with the speech and end the conversation. I look outside and think that now that I am done calling Xanous, I can move to the next task, Angel Falls. It feels like my determination to make that call has been the key factor holding this dream together for a such an great amount of time and now it slowly begins to fade and I wake up.

Date: 11 Aug

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs?

Natural wakes: many, got up on 5 to pee, drink water, take notes. Also lots of micro-awakenings where it took me some time to fall asleep. Noises from neighbors and early morning arrangements of others woke me up too.

Dream quality and recall: Very vivid dreams, some stability issues. Recall was challenging, forgot two lds, but then I recalled them, pffuuu. One suspicious also.

Early dream (+2 hrs after bed): I had the impression there might have been something lucid here, but sleep was so deep, I have no idea, it was quite vivid though.

Dream: some kind of tower, bf, something forbidden? (why didn't I write a whole sentence?)

Dream: this was a crazy dream, not very pleasant but interesting. The part I remember involved me getting to a window, where some kind of deadly poisonous gas is working. I am unprepared (compared to others) to deal with this gas and do some maneuvers to avoid it, while it's coming straight at me. I think I am trying to open the window as well. I notice that small wounds begin to appear on my hands from the gas. For once, they almost look ok, not too bad, but I am naturally worried about them. At the same time, I am fascinated that I feel no pain despite my exposure to the gas. (That was pretty close!)

DILD1: I go out in some kind of yard and want to sit on the stone wall. There are two teenagers there that plan to make out, so I move not to interrupt them and go sit on another fence. Soon they go back to the entrance and I hear an electricity shock. I think that a bad guy has done something to them and is now coming in the yard, so I look for a place to hide. I evaluate a few hideouts but decide I will be discovered so better leave now. The main idea is to get as far away as possible, while still able to observe the guy.

As I make my way through yard after yard, I get this familiar feeling. I have been running like this in a lot of my dreams. Semi-lucid, I continue on my way, climbing fences, going far enough. Then I finally reach a block, which I start to climb as if it is a tree. No matter where I step or reach there is always something to hold on to, like a balcony, the window etc. I finally reach the top of the building, which is like 5-6 floors and sit there to contemplate. It is not very easy to keep balance as I am holding on to some unstable part of the building. At this point, I also reach a much better clarity of mind. I look around and see all kinds of junk around me. I either become worried about stability and the dream becomes unstable or the other way around. I wait and things improve somewhat and I get the weird idea that I will turn this building top into the top of Angel Falls then jump, but I feel the need to have something stable below me to start with. It's a bit like I am sitting on a wobbly chair on top of pile of crap right now.

I look to my left and see that a beautiful river is flowing through the nearby part of neighborhood. There is also a small waterfall in the middle of it, too small, but inspiring enough. I want to go down there, I have no idea how and where I but get and reach to this branch and once again use the tree branch swinging method of moving. I swing forward and land exactly where I wanted to - down where the river is. I start thinking about turning this into Angel Falls. The river starts to change and at some point I find myself right in the middle of it, observing how the now dark water flows down a slope. There are dark rocks as well, and the current is way too fast, so I feel kind of uncomfortable being in the water. Somehow though I am dry and not moving with the current? This is not quite like what it is supposed to be and I concentrate on the landscape to cut off the water and make it flow into an abyss just ahead of me. Despite my efforts the river changes just a bit. I get it, it is just not working right now and I also become tired so give up. The thought quickly flashes that I might try to turn the end of the river flow into a beach, but now lack the mood for that. I begin reviewing other tasks I have memorized but the the dream ends just as I go through them.

I am now in my bed and a bit pissed off that the dream didn't just continue into another scene, and I have so much awareness of my body. I nevertheless remain still, nervously waiting until something like a proper DEILD happens.

DILD2: The beginning of this is very vague. I think I just appeared somewhere and held on to this DC for stabilization. The next thing I know, the dream is much more stable and I am walking down the street with the male DC to my left, holding his hand in a friendly way (I think this is the stabilization residual). I am quite happy and for some reason conclude this is Xanous. I can't remember much of this part of the dream, just that we walk down the street of a European looking town, talking about something. OB is also involved either in my thoughts or mentioned in the conversation.

We are facing a closed metal gate plus fence and the male DC turns to the left to go the part where there is no fence at all. I then tell him, why don't we just phase through the fence, this is a dream after all. So, we go back and walk straight through the fence. I easily pass as if there is nothing there at all, but the DC has a bit of difficulty going through, he emerges but it looks like it has caused him some discomfort. I feel guilty for making him do this and begin apologizing. He doesn't look much like Xanous at this point - brown hair and wider face, but it's him in my mind. He seems quite independent for a DC, but that may be just me. We then continue our walk through the city.

At some point, I feel the dream is beginning to destabilize, but I don't want to share it with Xanous as not to mess his stability or something like that. I just walk further forward, rubbing my hands and hop walking for a while. The dream stabilizes and I am really happy about it. He is to my left again, this time with copper hair and tall. I start talking and notice how clear my voice sounds. But even as I talk, I almost immediately forget everything I say. The only thing I remember is "do you think this will work out" and point at me and him? Then I feel embarrassed this might be understood the wrong way and add "I mean this shared dreaming thing". I finally remember that I was supposed to do a gesture and share the passcode but before I could do anything the dream ends.

Micro-ld: I am back in a town of my past, in the place I used to live. Bf is also there. The thought that I am not supposed to be there anymore crosses my mind, but I come up with the explanation that I am now just visiting the town? I look around in the room and conclude that everything looks like it is real life and not like in dreams where there are all kinds of objects that don't really belong to this room, even though it really doesn't. I see that the windows are very dirty and this makes me think that the neighbors have been throwing drinks from McDonalds at the windows. Soon I see the neighbors throwing drinks. I want to threaten them with the police, but fear revenge, so decide just to call the cops to get them. I also complain to bf about it.

It looks like we are leaving the place next day (Sunday) and I need to take some stuff. I can't remember much detail here, but I look around the place, and there are neatly arranged flowers in the yards nearby, which look similar to dreams about the place I had and not real life.

Then I am in the city center, maybe doing last min shopping, I have no idea. On one of the familiar streets, I look inside a strangely shaped car and see a guy with semi-finished and a purple? demonic face. He gives me an evil look and I become lucid and begin to sway the car back and forth, my intention is to lift it and move it, which I do. I make it turn over and leave it like that for a moment, thinking about some more mischief. In the meantime it changes color and shape. I have the strong desire to try to lift the car as high as possible and then send it flying in the air like a balloon. I concentrate on it and lift it quite high but there is some resistance, I send thoughts that all of the people on the street are also doing this task which makes it easier. I am holding the car in the air for quite a while, until it becomes harder, but I still keep my gaze on it. It has become a round large piece of smashed black metal that is dissolving /dematerializing in the air. Witnessing the dissolution of the object is very interesting, it happens gradually and the object loses its physical properties, becoming more of an energy and I also see aura-like glow around the edges - green and red. The dream ends.

I wake up, think briefly about the ld and then fall asleep which makes me forget it. Noises, distractions and final sleep attempts.

Micro-ld: I can't remember the beginning of the dream/let. There is a very interesting sun clock in the sand of some sort of a pot in the park. I am playing with the sand, thinking about lucidity and stabilization? Then I continue walking down the lane when a DC guy looks me with some sort of irritation and I become lucid. I realize that I am finally in the dream as if just entered a dreamlet and feel very floating/unstable. For some reason, I keep repeating my DSs as a mantra and also grab the guy's T-shirt and move along with him, but he wants to move on his own so he is staring at me annoyed. I let him go and see my mom ahead of me, carrying flashlight which is on and the light looks more like the ray of sun shining on all the dust in the park. Very cool effect. The dream falls apart and I wake up.

Comments: I am happy on this occasion there wasn't too much B6 related agression with the exception of a few bad looks from DCs which helped me achieve lucidity.

Comment: So I got tired of this heat plus other distractions reducing my ld count and decided to try with G

Preparation: I had pre bed insomnia, too wakeful plus nagging thoughts. Still, I decided against setting an alarm and going for a natural wake.

WBTB: Of course, I missed my desired WBTB but decided to go ahead. I was very sleepy due to the heat so walked around a bit. As soon as I took the pill and went back to the bedroom I saw this huge moth (a real one!) that came in last night and we couldn't catch it. It started flying around and caused me some additional wakefulness. I tried to ignore it and went to bed.

Started my usual induction mix and internal dialogue was fine but I felt too alert bodily to be able to fully fall asleep and be absorbed by those dreamlets/HI. Here are some that I remember, some were lucid, some not, I don't think it matters much in this case.

Mini-dream: I am somewhere and to my right is a guy that I identify as Xanous. He is holding some kind of a brush that I next take and inspect. White bristles, strange shape. I wake up. (Not much time to observe appearance, but in my mind it was him)

HI/dr: The head of state

HI/dr: The best lucid dreamers in DV [Names]

HI/dr: The tree of plenty from HMM game

HI/dr: A very large tropical plant plus other greenery

Micro-ld: I am standing on my grandma's balcony and it is night. I can hear nice music playing and look down to see a strange guy in front of the building. He is performing for a new place that has opened up just in front of grandma's. I have positive feelings towards the guy as he reminds me of a friend of mine. But most importantly I am very happy to have finally made it to a dream. The air is very stuffy and warm but I feel some kind of pleasant power in the air. I try to move my head to look around but meet some resistance as if my dream body isn't quite ready yet. I'm thrown out of the dream and into my super awake body.

I try to go back to sleep for some time but in vain so I give up and go to meditate in the other room.

I spend appx. 50mins meditating then go to the restroom. Moving from thought to thought and by means of association I remember my phone, see a quick phone image along with the thought, then another image quickly flashes by - the true location of my phone.

I have looked in the place two times but couldn't find it before. I decided to give it another try, this time a fully thorough search until I got out every little piece of crap from there. And at the bottom was of course - my phone!

Background: I bought a new phone but put it somewhere in a hurry in April, while preparing for guests. I totally forgot about it in May, looked for it everywhere in June, gave up in July and decided I would ask a DC where the hell it was. Asked a few times, got some nonsense and the best answer that came from DCs was "outside". Well, it was inside and not outside. Lol! Anyways, one task less.

Date: 28th

Pre bed: Multivits, WBTB: some red bull

Comments: I was very sleepy and quickly reviewed the storyline so some details were lost. The dreams had some bizarre but still interesting and pleasant post wake feel to them.

Dreamlet: some granny and another woman sitting on a chair/wheelchair

Dream1: I am in my hometown and want to buy some supps – copper that is dissolved in water. It is not available where I am at the moment, so I go to a bus station and head to the nearest drugstore. On the corner is a street stall where they sell all kinds of prayer beads – malas/rosaries made of colored wood. As I am heading towards the drugstore one of the items falls down on the floor. The stall was first to my right, but as I look back it is to my left! I go back to apologize to the sellers – a man and woman sitting on the floor and tell them that I would like to look at the items when I am back. Then 3 of them and me join in some kind of a game – not so much a game. There is a white Ouija board but no letters, and some other part that we will be moving with our hands. We have to select the person who will receive the message. I am slow to react so the woman picks to be that person. I think that I should not have allowed that because this way they could easily pretend and make up some kind of message. I look at the man in front of me – I feel I have known him all along and have positive feelings towards him.

Dream2[high fragmentation and possibly separate dreams]:

I am in some kind of a building on the last floor and move through the rooms which are aligned like a corridor. In the first room are the items of some dangerous guy that is not here anymore (prison?) but it looks like a friend of mine also has access to his room and has left some notes/diaries there. I am very curious and want to read it all but someone (maybe it was her) comes in and I move along the corridor like building.

This time it is a normal corridor, very long with lots of rooms on each side, reminding me of a school. Some kind of class/event is over and I hurriedly move forward by using some kind of a button to speed up, much like running in a video game. I reach the restroom to my right, then exit it, go into one of the rooms to the left, some people I know there? Then decide to go back to the restroom and I look for the same room on the right, the second or third door, but of course it is a different room now and I am very confused. They tell me the restroom is on another floor and I head to the stairs.

On the upper floor I can see/hear some family friends. Changing my mind about finding the restroom, I want to eavesdrop and find out what they are talking about without them knowing about me being there. That doesn’t quite work as the mother discovers me and I have to officially join them. Some interaction with them and the upper floor is the last floor of the building that has been turned into some kind of observatory. There are interesting things happening as some kind of machine is activated. (Unfortunately I can no longer recall). For a moment the upper floor is like a box, there are reverse window shutters and as am I talking to the family friend I am lying with my entire body on this shutter that goes up and down in mid air, trying not to slip. Back to talking to them.

Then there are a lot of people around a table and it looks like we are playing some kind of game. I mostly pay attention to some strange item like a miniature house and some vegetable – like beans as we are playing this game. Some people miss intentionally their turn and now it’s my turn but I don’t want to play. There is some talk about it and I clarify that it is because I have no idea how to play this game, then consider giving it a try.

I am on a lower level, like an open room, on the floor or an bed and look up to the building in front of me and on the last floor or somewhere like few floors above me I see Xanous in a room. To the left of him is a woman that I conclude is his wife, blue clothes? (really not sure). I try to say something to him but he is behind a glass, in that room and doesn’t hear/understand me. There is some zooming of my vision and he gets out some signs, something written with his address and directions how to get there by car. Two street names and Junction 8. I see a map with highway and different cities aligned.

I am on the street of some unknown town and conclude that some gangstas have been stealing from clothing stores. This is triggered by the fact that I find two pairs of new jeans with labels on the street. Another street man/gangsta comes and we talk as I try to figure out whether the jeans will fit my bf. Then decide to give them to the gangsta. I notice that this pair of jeans is prohibitively expensive, something like 1267? But hey maybe it is a very fashionable model. We are now in a store and the lady that works there behaves in a commanding way. We (me and another DC) just want to allow the gangsta to try the jeans, but the lady says we need to keep our distance, what? I reply that I am leaving anyways so no need to fuss.

[warning even more strange stuff follows]

I go out on the street and go to a black lady with some small kids. My memory is a bit blurry but as I walk the surroundings are transformed as we are now having a discussion about democracy, the world, then something about the development of civilization. The sun is shining bright and as this conversation goes on I am following a muddy road in the midst of a strange field. The road is no less weird, I am supposed to be following the left side of it. The road is covered with yellow fancy dust that in my mind is bright blond hair that has been cut, but it looks like a small river of pollen tracks. I think it is sunflowers. No, it is the hair of these people. There is a row of people, items that resemble some kind of a helmet (like the ones that you put on mayan gods), it changes, they are people, warriors from the past. Now they are dead. I wonder why their hair is blond when they are black, and inspect one closely. His forehead is brown. Ancient. He is cold to the touch. I come to my senses and first of all wonder why there is no smell if they are dead? Anyways, don’t want to be stuck there in the middle of this summer/ early autumn wheat type of field as down the road there is another row of these ancient warrior soldiers lying there. I head back following the same road in this strange but still beautiful sun-lit field.

Date: 13 June

Not very funny FA and LD chain

Total sleep time: 4 hrs

Comments: Tonight definitely was a bad time to go for a lucid. We had a sleep over guest and I was nervous I had to wake up the same time as our guest and no idea when that would be. I repeated the same combo as yesterday (but had different results?), did SSILD to help with sleep and induce ld. I got into a rather nasty FA chain. The resulting lucidity was not to be envied either.

Pre bed: Gingko

WBTB: I was woken up, had 1/2 RB about half an hour later. Trouble falling asleep.

Fragment: A DC that looks like my father shows aggressive attitude

FA1: I am in bed and guest is knocking on the door, saying he is leaving now. I hear him and partially see him, but I also see some other layer with my reflection on it. I decide that I am dreaming the second layer, while he is trying awake me irl. I tell him to leave me alone and come back later because I am just either lucid or missing a FA.

FA2: I am in bed, and there is trash, food leftovers and other stuff on the bedsheets. I find it a bit strange but swipe it aside and continue sleeping.

FA3: I wake up and go to the toilet. I look myself in the mirror. I look terrible, my face is swollen. I think "What have I done, this is probably because of the supps/RB". As if that isn't enough, I feel a very strong pressure in my head. Ahhhh

FA4 and DILD: I wake up and go to pee. Some nonexistent pipe breaks down and starts rhythmically pumping out water. I think this is too bad to be real life, and question the nature of reality. The pipe keeps pumping water, flooding the place, so I run into the room where our guest is sleeping to ask for help. He comes in the bathroom but it is not him at all, but a strange looking DC that has something not very human in his posture? I finally conclude that this can only be a dream. I go to the corridor, the strange DC next to me and an older lady. The dream gets distorted, images from other places appear in my mind, while I am thinking of an efficient way to leave our place. The dream disintegrates.

DILD2: I renter some place but the DCs there keep getting in my way so I cannot go as I would like to. the dream fades

DILD3: I am in another apartment, a geeky looking DC is trying to get my attention. I don't want to be here. I notice a large cupboard and am tempted to try passing through it. I am mostly wondering if I will be able to overcome the solidity and also see what will happen once I get in there. The cupboard is initially solid, but I push myself forward and it suddenly swallows me into the darkness with a strange gulp like sound. There is something very watery to that ex cupboard space, and I feel as if I am underwater. Very interesting, I think to myself. I swim forward ending in the void, the underwater sensations fading away. Back to my physical body, I may have even moved my real hands a bit while in the void.

DILD4: Another dream starts and I am in an apartment again. A number of daring DCs are here as well. I try to go on my way, but this DC woman gets in front of me holding a bread knife. I notice that we are in the kitchen, and try to make her engage in slicing the bread that is there, instead of behaving menacingly. I meet resistance and am unable to control her much. I am adjusting my mood as not to expect her to do anything to me, trying to be as non-reactionary as possible. She has the knife in one hand and gets a cleaver in the other. I struggle with her hand, also attempting to grab the knife from time to time, while being careful not to cut myself. I know this is dream and I don't care so much, but I am annoyed that things aren't going my way. There is someone else pushing me, causing me discomfort and mild pain. I move away a bit, feeling exhausted and desperate.

Since the dream is going nowhere, I allow the DC woman to get me, but now she has other intentions. I organize a pleasurable indecent scene and wake up shortly after.

I wake up and go to the restroom and check out my reflection in the mirror. I look terrible. I RC. Tired, nervous and annoyed I consider if I want to go back to sleep. Shortly journal, then try to fall asleep but it is too late.

This nightmare approximates to official count of 2 Lds? and 2 micro lds.

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Date: 14 June

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Sleep quality and recall: Deep restorative sleep, below average recall

Pre bed: Gingko

Bedtime dreamlet: There is a discussion about the advantages of living in China vs living in France. It seems that living in China is much better. I am entering China, zooming in trying to determine my location. Very hard to describe I see the land and plants as if I am on the ground yet it is in the shape of the map of China. There are blackberries that represent each city in China, and are very close together which means very crowded.

I realize that I am falling asleep and pull back from the dream, trying to commit it to memory.

WBTB: very tired after yesterday's lack of sleep, so I just couldn't do it

Dream1: I am on the street and there is a house to my left. Xanous comes from there. We talk about something. A friend of mine comes, I can't remember now if Xanous knows him.

Xanous is now gone somewhere. Me and my friend are trying to have a shared dream via DV but actually don't know that we are having a shared dream with each other. What are the odds? I tell this realization to my friend and we are happy. He invites me to his place where I have been in dreams. I check out the furniture. He leads me through the corridor, but I insist on having a look at the bedroom. There is a sliding door, double bed with white bed sheets, and a wardrobe with a mirror to the left.

Fragment2: My class meets again, this time boys only. I don't know why I am here and they behave like idiots. I look at them and have a strange feeling that something is not quite right here (as in this is a dream!) but continue being involved in the scene.

Progress with goals as the 14th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (15/100) *
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (17/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (6/10)
- 10 morning RCs (3/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

*I am also practicing some ADA, so it is not as bad as it seems, although I need to increase the RCs

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 4 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Date: 11 June

Comments: A bit behind on journaling, today's entry to be posted later, and sorry for any typos.

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: multivits, l-arginine

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, started earlier (3+ hrs after sleep), dream content was normal this time (referring to l-arginine). Recall - I was lazy

Early Fragment1: I was left with the impression that this was lucid, but very little memory of it. It had to do with seeing some objects from Xanous's OBE? The only more or less clear visual memory is of small cotton-like object/s. >>> goes to category suspicious

Fragment2: In my parents' place, some disturbing noise

Dream3: I thought it was interesting and easy to remember. We all know how this ends.

WBTB: missed the usual natural wake, woke up a bit later, and I drank the whole latte although I knew it was not such a good idea. Struggled for quite some time, but did not look at the clock as not to add up more anxiety.

Dream4: In my parents' place, aunt is also there and starts eating, this distracts me. I casually lie on the couch, three blankets and a bottle of plum sauce.

Dreamlet5: some rasta guy

I drift in and out of sleep. In bed, I want to sleep. I continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

Dream6 WILD: I'm in those strange states where I am semi-consciously controlling what I'm doing, trying to have the dream form around me and hold on to it. The first thing I notice are my hands, clasping a bottle. Slightly confused as I think for a second I am still in bed, I keep my eyes closed. Still not fully in the dream, I know that the key to my integration today has to do with me holding the bottle of I think then alcohol or plum sauce, so I apply as much pressure as I can. Then the surroundings become clearer and I know I am successfully there.

I am sitting on a bench in my neighborhood, no DCs in sight. I begin touching the surface of the white bench to stabilize. I look up and see a few ghost-like transparent but black birds in the sky. I check out my surroundings but I have an issue moving my head, and then identify that the problem is coming from my right eye, which gets some sort of tunnel vision. I don't want to move my head too much to avoid waking up, so I ignore this and decide to walk on the street.

I make a few steps and then my right side is paralyzed, so I lose balance and fall. Oh, no, not this thing again! The feeling is very hard to describe, but it's like I am feeling the physical body's atonia with my dream body, which makes me lose control over parts of the dream body. I try to ignore the issue, drag myself forward a bit and think that maybe concentrating on some tasks will fix it. I remember four tasks. I don't think I am able to get to Xanous at the moment. There are no DCs around to interact with. I think about transformation but nothing seems to happen. What did the guys say to do in such a case? Try floating up. Doesn't work. I have no dream control at all.

It is also cold, and I notice my blanket is nearby so I want to reach for it. The last thing I remember is looking above a building and seeing a large dark military helicopter above it. It is also ghost-like transparent. I am not very interested in it, I look down, struggle for a little while and then give up. I wake up. I am too caffeinated to fall asleep although I try.

Note: This was not scary in any way, but it was really annoying.

Comments:

1. Yes, drinking the whole latte was a mistake!
2. Starting an ld from scratch can be a pain in the b. I need more practice.

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- Do 100 RCs (8/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (9/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (4/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 6 (official count) as of 11th June
micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Date: 08 June

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: cold latte (103.4 mg caffeine), did not feel very strong despite the warnings on the label

Dream quality and recall: Hmm, recall was quite difficult today, I was extremely sleepy pre WBTB and after falling asleep post WBTB. Vividness was as far as I can remember normal. Not totally sure about the sequence of the dreams. I did wake up naturally after WBTB and tried to commit the dreams to memory without taking any notes, but then quickly fell asleep. After final wake I was like " What, I don't remember anything at all?" Then some fragments emerged.

Dream1: I am in my grandma's place and there is a hungry lion in there too. I barely notice it , just know that it is there. (It seems I wasn't looking forward to giving it a hug today!) So, I get a large bone to lure it, it looks like some big KFC leftover and I throw it in the corridor, while trying to sneak out. I am not very sure where this lion is, but I am contemplating on an escape plan...

Fragment2: In some place, which reminds me of a block that I only dream about. The place is a bit different, and the floor is made of Chinese tiles. I am crossing it, and in the meantime lots of Asians appear there. They have to be careful because there are fragile blue/white Chinese dishes on the floor. I go with a touch of irritation, pick some guy and tell him he should not do what he is doing. I get the feeling of another dream with some Japanese girls I had a long time ago.

Fragment3 DILD: No idea how this dream started, when I got lucid and what I else I did while lucid. It is quite dark, and it seems I ran into a DC that I assume is Xanous. I address him and start talking to him. I remember he may not be lucid, so I grab him by the shoulders, shake him a bit and repeat several times that this is a dream. Then I remember to do the gesture, and finally repeat the passcode a few times. It looks like he is trying to memorize it, I repeat it a few more times, hopefully he will remember. I hold his head with my hands, while the dream slowly fades away.

Comments: Well a bit unlikely that this was Xanous, did he say anything back? I am so good at terrorizing innocent DCs. Sorry guys!

Date: 31 May

Pre bed: multivitamins (included gingko and ginseng), SJW, two drops of peppermint oil

Side effects: increased heart rate, heavy insomnia

Other: I think the multivitamins I took stimulated me too much before bed time. I was also dehydrated which made the situation worse. The heart rate wasn't too fast, but it was noticeable when going to bed and made it difficult to fall asleep.

Dream quality and recall: WILD, too dark, which made it harder to engage in the dream. The two DILDs after that were vivid and of higher quality. I woke up after each one. Then had about two hours of insomnia, went into very deep sleep and had little recall.

Impressions: It was an interesting experience, although I wouldn't repeat it again (because of the insomnia)

Sequence: multivits > heartbeat> WILD> about a hour of sleep/or trying to sleep> DILDs> insomnia> deep sleep> WBTB> dream

Dream1 WILD: In bed, dehydrated and with a noticeable heartbeat which made it difficult to fall asleep. I was still for some time, paying attention to the heartbeat, then found myself in darkness. It felt like my consciousness was split in three sections. Part of it was asleep, part of it knew exactly what to do, giving me instructions, and part of it followed the instructions. A bit like having three different thoughts at the same time.

I am in the darkness, and I say to myself how exactly I should grab the scene. The instructions are now vague, but I remember struggling with the darkness, and performing some bodily movements until I end up on a solid street. I find it a bit strange that I am now on this street, a city from my past, I notice that I am sitting on the pavement. It is dark, and there is nobody in sight. I decide to walk a bit, choosing another street I know. I spend some time walking, and reach a bus station. I look around once again, everything is still very dark, so it is hard to see, and there isn't a single light on.

I am a bit worried that the dream will escape, because I almost cannot concentrate on anything here. Then the "interact with a DC" task comes to mind. I know Xanous would probably not be asleep at this time, but decide to try to reach him nevertheless. I call out Xanous a few times, and look around. I cross the street and there are some DCs there, I stop one and try to ascertain if this is Xanous. It is dark, so hard to tell any facial feature, and the guy's face is also blurred. Well, it doesn't feel like him so I let the DC go. I stop another one and hold him for a while. His face gains a bit more definition and I try to analyze it in the darkness. I say that whatever I am doing makes no sense but still hold on to the DC. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

I go to drink some water then back to bed. Reviewed the dream in mind. Fell asleep.

While I had begun to question whether some of my short lucid moment memories that I couldn't recall in the past few weeks were real, I now have an absolute certainty because I woke up shortly after these two.

Dream2 DILD: In some version of the same city, but everything is much more vivid now and it is day time. I am supposed to meet a friend of mine like the last time we did that. But somehow our plans don't work out. Instead I end up facing a threat from an invisible enemy. I am lucid now, and have a greater sensory perception. Initially it was as if I am on the balcony, but it quickly changes into multidimensional walled space in front of me, hard to describe. The energetic entity is not visible because it is behind the wall, yet I feel it because I stretch move with my entire being through the wall that feels like just space, and come in close contact with it. It is not pleasant, I feel its energy. I am trying to move it away by manipulating the matter. I get rid of the thing and find myself between four walls with creamy tiles on them. I notice that there is no door, but don't care much. I can move through space.

Dream3 DILD: In the more or less the same city, some kind of scenario is developing. People are still using horses instead of cars, they are leaving the city because of some emergency. I watch while this is happening, there is some blue stuff of the floor. I remember that this is the second time this is happening. I am lucid, I spill more blue stuff on the floor, and enjoy it for a while. I make a strange posture to show/explain something to one of the DCs in the room? I turn and look to the other side of the room where there is a window. I decide to stabilize the dream by intending it. I check the overall feeling, yes, stable. My mind is also clearer now. I look out the window, and see three boys in the distance. "Interact with a DC", on my mind again. (I really wish I could remember more tasks! ). I climb through the window and slide down. It feels like the roof of a building or on top of a train. The boys are playing soccer, so I shout that I want to play with them. They kick the ball towards me and I see it coming, but it is too high, I control its movement so it is easy for me to catch it. As I am preparing to have a kick, the dream falls apart and I wake up?

Fragment4: I am having a short dream where I am discussing the three boys. I identify one of them as a neighbor kid from the past, but I know he is grown up now.

I wake up and review the dreams, I am super awake and cannot fall asleep for two hours. When I finally do, I slip into unmemorable dreams.

WBTB: I wake up tired about one hour before the planned wake time. Upset that I messed up the plan for tonight. I decide to take one p.oil capsule, then go to bed concentrating on having an ld.

Fragment5: A classmate is wearing strange clothes

Fragment6: I am in some water, and there is sand around. My bf is also swimming with me in this strange place. I try to get out of the water, climbing strange sand dunes. Then we go to an indoors swimming pool where I plunge into the water, a bit worried about hitting the bottom.