Leaving the matrix

I'm in the living room doing nothing, the girl comes up to the window, it frightens me so I run outside and yell at her for some reason things I don't mean. Then I go back into the house, I'm aware that I might've hurt her, and then something starts to happen to me and I'm crying and I look outside and the girl is with her boyfriend and they're preparing to leave. Ignore it with ego, Then a delivery truck comes up the driveway and I look out the window at it and the girl and I make eye contact and it's as though she's asking for something with her eyes, like are you sure this is what your want, then they leave down the entire driveway but through the dirt which would make it take longer, and they wait sitting on a bench down there I assume for a bus. Then seemingly little things keep happening in the house that I freak out about and contemplate running down the driveway to her, but when I finally do they're gone. I go back into the house and fell neglected and, alone.