Mouka's Mind Palace

One:

I was riding along in my car with some other people, and Cory was driving. One of the passengers was my mom. We came along some traffic in Huntsville, near the intersection of South Memorial and Lily Flagg I think, and Cory was not slowing down fast enough to keep from hitting the car in front of us. I kept screaming "SLOW DOWN SERIOUSLY." and he was just all NAAAAAH, so I'm sitting there shotgun bracing myself, and sure enough he rams right into the car ahead of us. Which was some really tiny electric car thing, either blue or green.

The guy ahead of us pulled into a U-turn area and into the big parking lot where people park their used cars for sale, and I noticed his bumper was falling off. Cory was making no move to turn and go over there, so I say "What the hell? You can't just run away!" and he says "Yeah I can, people get hit all the time." I eventually convince him to turn, and we're all sitting in that parking lot, exchanging info with the other guy. I was looking my car over, and it seemed to be okay except for some paint chipping.

After settling that problem, we continued forward. I told Cory I wanted to drive since he sucked so bad, but he was adamant that it wouldn't happen again. So... now we're driving along some open highway in the countryside, and what does he do? He friggin runs right into the CEMENT TRUCK in front of us. I was super pissed at that point and yelling at him, and we all pulled over into a gravel parking lot for some bed and breakfast place. Cory got out to talk to the truck guys, and I got out and inspected my car. It was still OKAY, but it was missing some things... the driver's side mirror was gone. I was looking around on the ground for the missing mirror and I remember finding it next to a big pile of small square pieces of glass. For a moment I thought the glass was from my windows, but luckily it wasn't. That mirror would never move around automatically again if I glued it on myself, but I figured it would be fine moving it manually... first world problems and all that...

Also I took Cory's stupid keys away. I put them on my keychain and noticed my mailbox key was cut in half. It was a lamentable thing.

While Cory was out talking with the truck guys, me and the other passengers went into the bed and breakfast. We sat on the couches for a while and ate some food, some cheap gas station food like individually wrapped Twinkies and personal-sized bags of chips. Cory came in, and said the truck guys were being nice and picking all the ruined fragments off my car, so we still sat there and I bitched at him for being an idiot.

I had to take my Lamictal pill, so for some reason I put it in a big glass of water, which was stupid because once it gets wet, it gets reeeeaaalllly bitter. So then I'm in the bathroom and drinking the water, trying to swallow the pill, and I just can't get it down because of the bitterness. I swear to god I stood there for like ten minutes trying to figure that out.

Two:

Cory and I went to visit some botanical gardens in the fall. We brought along our dog Loki. There was a big door that led to a butterfly area, and so I ask Cory if we can go inside. He's really surprised and asks if I REALLY want to, and I say yes because I want to face my fears, and I was TERRIFIED of butterflies in this dream for some weird reason (WTF?) So we go inside, and let Loki off the leash so she can run around.

The butterfly area was a rectangular grassy area surrounded by tall hedges on all sides. In the middle was a rectangular pond with really clear water that was light blue and had lily pads and stuff all in it. There were birds all over, and a big blue crane wandering around in the water. There weren't too many butterflies, since it was cold out, but there were a couple Monarchs, some yellow Swallowtails, and some black Swallowtails... and some big white ones I couldn't identify. Possibly cabbage butterflies but giant-size?

Anyway, a few swooped at me, and I stood my ground. Cory was quite proud of me. Then he left me to my own devices and went to take photos of some of the birds. I walked around the pond looking at stuff with Loki running next to me, when she stops and does her business. I noticed blood dripping out of her when she did it, and I was freaking out and called Cory over. He said he couldn't see anything, and I was like WTF the blood is RIGHT THERE, but he was adamant about seeing nothing. As we're there on the ground I see a tiny baby hedgehog wander up next to me, rolling around all cutely and stuff. I get all giggly like OH MY GOOOOOD. I'm afraid to touch him because I couldn't remember if their quills were super sharp or not, but Cory pet him and then left. So I sat there playing with the hedgehog for a bit. It wandered up to Loki's business, and did some business of its own... gross. And I'm all "What the hell are you guys doing, trying to fight for territory or something?!"

I get up and wander around the pond for a while longer, and notice Seru standing at the entrance. He's got his arms crossed and says something to me and smiles... I can't remember what he said. Something about the butterflies, I think? I also might have been something about leaving. One or the other. I remember thinking for a moment that he was the guy I came into the butterfly area with, and I got confused. He was the last thing I saw before I woke up.

Three:

Just a dream fragment where I was walking around in a house. It was very cozy like a grandparent's house, at least, it made me feel that way. The floors were small wooden planks and felt really old.

(Ugh, I had such a crappy night last night, the storms kept waking me up and now I can't remember most of my dreams...)

There was some kind of black jelly-like substance in the grass in small patches. I was there with some other people looking at it, and someone picked up a bit of it and it started moving. We were all kind of freaking out since it was alive, and then it morphed into a crane fly and into a few other bugs, so I guess it was like... a black-coloured Ditto that only copied bugs. I think at one point one of the "Dittos" stuck itself on someone's face and we were all afraid to touch them after that.

I had tickets to a play, I think it was at the Von Braun Center? But I'm pretty sure it was in Alabama since the weather was very... Alabama-like rather than Wisconsin-like. We never actually went into the auditorium, but the lobby was really sunny and there were lots of windows, I remember being in the doorway looking in, and the door was made of glass. At some point I accidentally upset Cory and he wouldn't listen to my apologizes and ran off. I took off all my jewelry and my sunglasses and put them in the front zipper pocket of my Stefani bag and went after him, and saw him standing there looking at me with the sad puppy eyes and crying. He was talking to me and I remember thinking "Whoa, I never see this guy cry." Seru was there, but I don't remember anything about that, I just remember him standing and I thought that his wings were rather pointy-er than usual. I may or may not have went after him? Because I remember there being a lot in the plot of the dream about him (but it might have been a completely separate dream, haha) But knowing me, I probably did go after him. That might've been why Cory was upset.

There was a dream I had right before I woke up, it was something happy. When I woke up I wasn't sure if it had been a dream, our just a very vivid thought I had while waking up, so I sort of dismissed it and now I can't remember it.

I had sleep paralysis that led to a lucid dream. As I entered paralysis, an image in my mind began to take shape of an angry giant man with black cornrow hair sitting on a throne. When I landed in the dream, I was in his throne room, and he stood up and started walking towards me menacingly, and I knew he was going to try to kill me. The dream was very unstable, but I was more concerned about the scary dude than about increasing my lucidity, so I said out loud "This man is my uncle, and he's coming over to give me a hug!" and I held out my arms. His demeanor instantly changed, and he was smiling. He ran over and grabbed me in a big bear hug, and then the dream faded and I woke up.

I went to the local indoor pool club to go swimming. When I entered the building, the pool was surrounded on all sides by red plush seats on balconies, like some kind of fancy concert hall. One of the other swimmers pointed up towards Grace balcony (each balcony was named after a girl's name) and told me that Misha Collins and Adam West were sitting up there chatting. I got all excited and went up to see them, and sat down all nonchalantly next to Misha (he sat on my left, and Adam sat on his left), but I noticed Adam West was actually the cartoon character from Family Guy and was babbling about his crazy stuff. My dog came over and laid down on the chair to my right, looking all depressed, so I gave her a hug. As I hugged her, I looked over at the actors all embarrassed-like and said hello. Misha smiled and said hello back, and then said he was going to shoot himself out of a canon above us into the pool, and he wanted me to take a photo with my phone. He put on a weird white helmet that covered his eyes and got in the canon, and then flew out into the pool from super high up, but I was unable to get a photo because he moved too fast. Then I remember feeling annoyed because I was paying 30 bucks a month to use this pool and all its facilities, and they never told me that they had a pool canon to use. Before Misha could return, a voice on the intercom said "General Mills! General Mills!" and I knew they were calling for me and a few other people in the pool area, because we were carrying boxes of General Mills brand cereal. So I headed up a hallway out of the Grace balcony and as I was walking, a random girl started to walk next to me, and we were both carrying backpacks and the hall was now in a school and surrounded by lockers. I looked down at the ground and saw a virtual pet key-chain laying there. I picked it up, and the girl suggested I keep it for myself, but I knew it wasn't mine and that would be wrong, so I told her I was going to take it to the lost and found office and we went our separate ways. On the way there, I saw another virtual pet key-chain laying on a bench, the exact same model, but before I could pick it up, a girl in gym clothes with a towel over her shoulders walked by and picked it up. So I went to the lost and found office, and there was a glass window with a little drop box, and a bored woman with curly brown hair in a police uniform reading the paper. I couldn't put the key-chain in the drop box because someone had stuffed it with shoes, so I opened the door to where the woman was and handed her the key-chain, which was now no longer a virtual pet but a plastic figurine of a grey cat. The woman looked surprised and said "You found my key-chain! My daughter lost it, I thought I'd never see it again!", and with that I left the office and walked towards the front of the school. At the front of the school were 32 registers and sliding glass doors, like the front of a big department store. I noticed I was now a four-legged animal, and everyone in line at the registers were also animals, but I could only move two legs at a time so I walked very awkwardly. In front of the sliding doors was a display with General Mills cereals hanging from it. As I made my way from register one to register 32, I kept tripping over books that were laying all over the floors in front of the registers, which caused the books to go flying. The cashiers would cheer when a book landed near their register because the cashier with the most books near their line at the end of the day got some pills that made you a genius. I remember one of the books I tripped over was red and pink, and called "The Book of Lists of Books that Say They Are True, But Are Actually False". As I passed one of the registers, I heard a guy calling at me, a friend of mine but who was now a llama, and he said "Hey! Check it out, I've got a turtle now!". Sure enough, he had a wicker basket on his back with a turtle peeking out of it. I marveled at it because I remember he used to have something else in the basket.

I was in a house, I think it was my old home in Arab, and there were leaks in the ceiling that were dripping down onto the carpet making it all squishy. I also saw bits of soil and lots of thin long white worms. I was kind of afraid of the worms because they looked strange to me. There was also a structure made out of pine wood set up in the room, it looked like a pool table that was unfinished or something. There isn't much I remember about this dream except snippets, but I remember going into my room where I had a big wooden clubhouse set up, and then going into the clubhouse and locking it, and laying on the little bed in there and crying. The worms were also on the floor there, too. Someone was banging on the door to my clubhouse while I was crying, trying to get in. I also remember a weird alien bobble-head toy that felt very soft and warm when I touched it, like it was alive.

(This is from September 26, yesterday.)

I awoke into a lucid dream, however I didn't perform any reality checks, I just knew immediately I was lucid. I looked around and saw I was in some kind of run-down building in a room on the second floor. It was nighttime. I walked out onto the balcony, which had an old wooden staircase leading down to the sidewalk, and saw a man standing under a street light. He looked suspiciously like Karr, but had black hair and giant black holes where his eyes would've been, so I decided to avoid him because I didn't feel like dealing with creepy stuff. I jumped off the top of the balcony and glided down to the street, facing away from the creepy guy, and remembered a few new tricks I'd read about for summoning people in dreams. I attempted to summon Afiel by calling behind me "Hey Afiel, can you help me with this?" like he was already there, however it didn't work, and instead I heard Karr's voice say "I'm not Afiel!" That's when I realized the creepy eyeless guy WAS Karr, so I spun around to confront him but he was gone. After a few more calling attempts, I gave up for the moment and went out to enjoy the dream. For a while, I just flew around the night sky... more like glided, really, because I couldn't keep myself up. I kept slowly gliding back down to the ground, and had to push myself off the ground with my hands to get back up. I wound up at some kind of horse race and took the opportunity to ride a horse, which was super fun. I even won the race and had my name engraved onto a high score board on a wall by the track. I wandered away and into a nearby building, another rundown place made of rotting wood, and saw my mom sitting on a couch next to a bunch of plants. She said hi, but then just sat there like a statue and wouldn't respond to anything, so I ignored her and attempted summoning again. I tried another trick where I walked up to a random closed door and said "Hey, this is the door Afiel is behind!" and then open it expecting him to be there. The first few times it didn't work, but I finally opened a door and there he was, standing there looking confused. He walked around the building, looking at random things, and then we decided to head outside. On the way out, we passed by statue-mom sitting on the couch and her plant collection, and Afiel was immediately sidetracked and went to go look at all the plants, because he's a total geek about that kind of thing. He told me to come over and look at one of them, and when I got closer I noticed the collections of seeds on the plant weren't actually seeds at all, but hundreds of tiny bugs. I thought it was gross and backed away, but he was all excited and kept watching them. When we left the building, it was daylight out, and he suggested we fly to a particular place, but I can't remember where it was he said. I think it was some kind of religious place. He spread his wings and took off, and I followed after him but I had trouble staying up. My body kept doing the gliding thing, and kept wanting to drift back down to the ground, but I didn't want to lose him so I did these awkward jump-glides after him. Soon we were in the wilderness in a big grassy field that was fall-colored. In the background were mountains, and hills covered in colorful trees, and the sky was clear and blue. I saw Afiel pretty far ahead, so I landed and did the lucidity shout to gain more control. It worked in that it made the scenery super vivid, and I forgot about him for a moment and sat there in the grass enjoying my surroundings. I wondered about the "ACME lucidity pills" I kept hearing about online, so I reached into my pocket for them but felt nothing. There was nothing in my other pocket either, but then I saw a large beige bottle on the ground next to me. I picked it up and took the pills inside it, and suddenly everything came into laser focus and I felt more in control. I flew up, now able to fly without gliding, over some telephone cables and up over the mountains, but I could no longer see Afiel. As I kept flying, I came upon an old Mayan temple, so I landed on the steps and walked up to the top to find a door. Behind the door was a pretty Japanese water garden, with lots of people and animals but no Afiel. On the wall was a laminated piece of paper with rules about the water garden and I remember being surprised about how clear the words were, since usually words in my dreams are blurry. I walked out onto the water Jesus-style, among all the lily pads and fishes, and saw weird little mice and cats under the water attacking each other. I reached down into the water to pull out a mouse that was about to be killed by a cat, but I noticed the mouse had worms for eyes and for claws. I freaked out and dropped it, the cat grabbed it and bit it in half. The mouse was actually a robot and had a map inside him, and when I picked up and unrolled the map, I realized it was telling me where Afiel had gone but I woke up before I could make anything of it.

A dream where I had to go retrieve postage stamps from dad's house, but I was scared of going inside because he'd want me to stay forever. I think I was able to get the stamps.

A friend and I were walking down the sidewalks at an outdoor shopping center, and there were these shimmery rainbow butterflies that kept landing on my shoulder and following me around. Then we saw some pretty hummingbirds, and my friend could match their pace and keep up with them on her roller blades. I, however, could not, and just ran behind her and the hummingbirds awkwardly trying to keep up, dozens of butterflies flying after me. We stopped in front of an interesting restaurant and decided to eat there, but there was a wait, so we stood outside until it was our turn. The butterflies kept messing with me, and everyone around me marveled over how pretty they were. I think I remember seeing Dale from King of the Hill leave the restaurant and he made some comment about me being an alien. When we got inside, we were seating at separate tables, so my friend was at a table to the left of me and I sat with strangers, and there were TVs at the tables along with piles of DVDs. There was also a big plate of chicken nuggets in the middle of the table, and the waitresses would hand out bags of chips to anyone who raised their hands. I turned on the TV and there was a Disney movie playing, but a guy walked over and said I wasn't allowed to use the DVDs, only employees could. I told him I wasn't watching a DVD, and that the movie was just on cable, but he didn't believe me and turned off my TV and took the DVDs away. I also saw him to the same thing to my friend's table.

There was a guy who worked inside a huge dumpster the size of a house. He was in charge of sorting trash into recyclable containers, and he worked 24 hours a day and never slept. The dumpster was also full of dangerous snakes that would always bite him. The news channels caught wind of his predicament and kept trying to interview him, but he would always hide from them. Soon, other people were offering to work at the dumpster part-time to take some of the burden off of him, but many of the new workers were bit by the snakes and had to be taken to the hospital. I applied because I had been dating a girl who'd broken up with me because she said I wasn't independent enough, and became a part-time worker in the big dumpster thinking it would make me more self-reliant. I would walk across wooden floors covered in snakes, but they wouldn't bite me and I wasn't scared of them. Instead, I'd pick them up in handfuls and toss them off the walkways. As I sorted trash, I noticed that someone had thrown away a perfectly good TV and the 24 hour guy had taken it and put it in a weird makeshift break room. However, the TV was covered in orange slime and was gross, so I cleaned it up for him and he was super happy for it.

(This is from September 1.)

I decided to go shopping at a new grocery store, but the front door was closed, so I took a shopping cart and went in through the cart area where they have those big plastic flaps employees push carts through. The first thing I saw was a big display with lots of holiday candy, mostly Christmas and Valentine's Day candies, then I passed through this huge open section that was almost the size of a regular grocery store itself. It was nothing but meat, lots of different kinds of meat, different cuts and stuff, all piled up on counters all the way around the walls. Some of the meat piles were almost as high as me. I remember being both fascinated and creeped out at the same time.

I was debating on taking a plane ride to Indiana. The people I was going with were taking the plane, but I determined that it was only 200 miles away, and that I might beat them there if I take my car since they'd have to wait for the plane and all. When I got there, I walked out onto a long wooden walkway that snaked around a building and jutted out over a big waterfall and some dangerous rapids. Also on the walkway was a little girl who stood with a creepy old man, and I remember thinking the guy was totally a pedophile but the girl seemed okay so I ignored him. I talked to the girl about some things and she giggled a lot, but later I found out the girl had died and most likely was killed, and I just knew it was that creepy old guy's fault. I slipped and fell down on the walkway, and when I looked up I saw a huge spider in a web on my left and a huge yellow butterfly on my right. I was almost too terrified to move because I didn't want to upset either of the bugs but someone I slowly got to my feet and went into the building the walkway was attached to. Inside was a long hallway and lots of different rooms, and they were labelled based on what was taking place inside of the room, like for instance one was labelled SAT Room and people were taking the SAT test in there. I went into a room with a haircut label and the lady there said I had to get my hair cut if I wanted to be a part of their building. So I sat down and she cut my hair, but I kept hearing her say "Oops!" and I was upset that my hair would look crappy.

I had a lucid dream that began with me standing in the dining room of a house. It was decorated very southern and was quaint. Nothing was really happening except me standing there, so it gave me time to think about where I was, and I didn't know. So I performed a reality check, the palm test, but it failed and my finger did not go through my palm. Still it felt like something wasn't right, so I did another reality check by holding my nose and trying to breathe through it anyway. It worked, and I was still able to breath, and that's when I realized I was dreaming! As soon as I became lucid, the scene started to fizzle out, like an old TV screen when you hit the antenna, so I rubbed my hands together and spun around a few times and the scene restablized. At that point, I was super excited because it's rare that I have complete control of my actions in a lucid dream, and I immediately go to the front door of the house and try to open it. However, when I opened it, there was another door behind it, and another, and another, and it was just endless doors all the way. So I went to try a closet door and it also gave me nothing but endless doors. I was really annoyed at this turn of events because I didn't want to be stuck in a quaint country house when I could go out and do fun lucid things, so I stared really hard at the front door and willed all my concentration on it. I had a vision of myself opening the door and emerging on the other side in a heavenly realm as nothing but pure light energy, so I took that as a sign to try opening the door. Sure enough, the door opened, but just to the front porch rather than the nice Heaven I'd envisioned. Out on the porch I was overlooking an old farmer's field covered in snow, with a few trees growing here and there. It looked a bit like the backyard of my grandmother's trailer. I got really excited again and jumped off the porch, intending to fly away, but instead of flying I drifted to the ground like a leaf. Another failure! I lay there, face down in the snow, concentrating on willing myself airborne, and after about a minute or so I began to hover about an inch off the ground. I continued hovering, kind of wobbling precariously in various directions like that American flying saucer prototype in that one old video, but the dream fell apart before I could really get my flight aspirations going.

(This is from August 31.)

I was running through the mall, chasing after someone. I passed a big candy store, and ran through the food court. At the end of the food court was a second, smaller candy store and I went inside. Amy was there working behind the counter, and another friend I can't remember was also there buying candy. She was buying lots of chocolate, so I bought some peanut butter cups and then we both shared our candy with each other.

Something was wiggling around in my jeans pocket and I realized it was a big scary cicada. I ran around screaming but everyone else was also too afraid to get the cicada out of my pocket for me, so I ran into the bedroom closet to take off the pants. I thought if I held the pocket shut while I took them off and then ran out and shut the closet door quickly, the cicada wouldn't fly at me. So I ran into the bedroom but it was raining in there, so I grabbed a stuffed teddy bear and put it on my head to keep from getting rained on, and luckily it wasn't raining inside the closet. I took off the pants and ran out the closet and then out of my apartment, but I'd forgotten to close the closet door so I knew the cicada was waiting in there for me. Then this weird creeper guy walked up to my apartment door and stared at me funny, and I realized I was naked from the waist down which was obviously uncomfortable so I ran away. Apparently we were all about to go on vacation because I had stuff packed in boxes elsewhere, so I ran to the boxes to find pants. The boxes were in some kind of airport or bus station that I was running through, and I remember running past lots of benches and a huge cat scratching post that was shaped like a pirate ship. When I was putting new pants on, I noticed two big ticks on my leg, so I grabbed them and threw them in the car thinking that the heat in the car would kill them for me. Jenny was upset and demanded I go back into the apartment to get some toys she forgot to pack. So I went back, but I remember going inside and seeing the cicada on the wall and then running back out scared.

I was laying in my bed alone and it was morning, so I got up and walked over to the dresser when out of the corner of my eye I see movement on my bed. It turns out there were thousands of spiders crawling all over the bed sheets, and I went into a panic feeling myself all over making sure there were none on me. Then I noticed that they were all over the floor as well, and all along my walls! Just tons of them, of all different types. Little ones, big ones, poisonous ones like Black Widows and Brown Recluses... I had to just stand there without moving my feet because I was barefoot and afraid I would step on one and get bitten, and at that point I became lucid and I realized the whole thing was a dream and it would be impossible for so many spiders to be in my house. Unfortunately, I didn't have any control over the dream and couldn't will the spiders away, so instead I tried to reach for my shoes so I could walk over the spiders and out of the room. When I looked in my shoes there were spiders already with webs hanging out in them, and no matter what pair of shoes I picked up they all had webs and spiders in them. There were also webs all over my room now, in all the corners of the wall, in my bookcases, around my dresser and on my bike, and even under the bed! It was absolutely terrifying. So the whole dream I just stood there still waiting for it to end.
(Note: My fiance and I went hiking earlier yesterday only to discover spiders in webs all over the path because apparently they come out in force after a rain! We had to turn around early: hike cancelled on account of spiders. I think that caused this dream/nightmare.)

I had just transferred to a new school but nobody in my class wanted to help me get caught up on the assignments, until I sat down next to this nice girl. We both sat in the front row, near the middle. I think her name was Abigail, or Agatha, something like that, and she had blonde hair in braids and was really white like she never went out in the sun. She also wore an old-fashioned light blue dress that reminded me of Little House on the Prairie. She was really helpful and would let me borrow her notes and supplies I needed for the coursework. She was always smiling and I kinda had a little crush on her. The next day I sat down and she wasn't there, apparently she was running late. The professor had us work on an art project the class had started before I transferred, so I didn't have anything to work on. The project involved making an intricate picture out of string. Since Abigail wasn't there to loan me any string, I went over to the storage drawers to see if there was any extra laying around. I opened one of the drawers and someone's string art slid out and became tangled, I think it was a picture of a building made with red string. The guy came stomping over and was pissed at me, so I lied and said it was like that when I found it, but he didn't believe me so I went away from him and sat back down. He kept glaring at me the whole time, though. Soon Abigail came in and we discussed what we were going to wear on Halloween, and we left the room together and walked down the hall still talking about it. As we walked, the hallway transformed and soon we were walking in a vast snowy field at night, but it wasn't too dark because of a full moon. Abigail also transformed as we walked, she became a short old Inuit man, but for some reason I didn't think that was unusual at all. We sat down in the snow and the man made a fire and told me depressing things about how hard it was to keep food on the table for his wife and children.

I was in a library with a big collection of Hot Wheels cars, and I was sitting at a long wooden table going through one of those old-fashioned card catalogs. I wanted to find out how much my Hot Wheels were worth so I was looking for price guides. The collection was pretty big so I couldn't finish pricing it before the library closed, so I came back the next day. When I got there the library wasn't open yet and apparently wasn't going to open all day for some reason, so I sat there at the door hoping they'd open anyway. The library itself looked like a giant church, almost exactly like the Chapel of Loretto, and was out in the middle of wilderness, with no civilization around for miles. It was wintry outside, but not too cold, and there was a little bit of snow on the ground. Eventually I got annoyed and gave up, and started walking away, past some bare trees and over some hills.