Psionik

I was lying down in my bed, descending deeper and deeper into concentration, then meditation. I observed various snippets of dreams and dismissing them - I was not planning to try shared dream tonight. No, my target was OBE. I felt that my other body is restless, pushing away from boundaries of physical body... Yet I descended deeper, allowing myself to find how deep in meditation I can go down without loosing myself in it. I saw white and black flashes... I heard mumbling and growling from time to time... I lost feeling of my physical body... then I heard sound as if very high note was played and it ended with something like BZUIIING! and what was left was roaring silence. Everything stopped, no flashes, no sound... nothing left. After some time I allowed myself to float my other body out of physical one smoothly, without feeling of any restraint.
I was above my physical body in my bedroom. It was dark night. I saw things shining in red light. I floated slowly around without the feeling of any gravity, there was no up or down for me. Nothing was out of ordinary... but nothing was touchable. I floated slowly through the wall of my house into night... the surrounding faded away into darkness. I felt very relaxed and in peace. I experimented how far can I go without loosing consciousness. From darkness some angelic looking beings glowing in bluish light became visible... and I only observed. There was temptation to come after them... and I didn't care the temptation. Those angelic looking beings slowly morphed into demonic ones, glowing in red light. Yet I didn't care. I only observed them. I felt a malicious intent from them. I felt that I should fear. I wondered what is a fear, how to feel it. I wondered whether I should try to preach. Yet, I was able to do none of that. I floated and observed them to attack and dissipate as they touched my nonphysical body. I was alone, again. The body became nonexistent and slowly coalesced into bluish ball of light. I shined in the darkness softly and observed my surroundings. Surrounding of nothingness. My consciousness dissolved after some time afterwards.

After routine relaxation and concentration exercise before sleeping I felt my spiritual body to free itself off of physical body a little therefore I allowed myself to stand up from it. It was very easy. My surrounding was greyish but not dark as usually when I travel at night. I saw the inner light of things unusually bright. I walked through my house finding it empty. Then I left out right through the wall to the empty street. And I walked for some time observing my surrounding, feeling it. I felt deep sadness but at the same time I was well balanced, therefore the OBE felt stable.

I came to the city and it too was empty. The lighting was stronger, the sun was up on the sky, yet everything, every colour was greyish. I saw gravel down to sand size very sharply, each piece of grain, each rock... and I came to the big bridge over the river.

I saw there an angel, who I instinctively knew as angel of death. He brought an unknown young woman with dark bushy hair there and pushed her under the bridge into darkness. I felt pang of great sadness and love toward that woman. And I came closer wanting to come after her. The angel of death looked like he wanted to stop me, telling me that that woman deserves to suffer for eternity because she took her life. That nothing would help her. And I went toward him nevertheless... And angel ran away. I turned and went under the bridge.

There was darkness under the bridge. It was as if I stepped through a border between day and night. Light was not penetrating under the bridge as it normally would. But it was possible to see on the other side to the light. There were people there, maybe 15-20 of them. Many of them looked like homeless people. And there was sitting that girl between them, tears were dropping constantly from her eyes. I stepped toward her, and my inner light repulsed those people away from me. That girl too tried to go away, but I lifted her onto my arms like child, and I started to cradle her while I was walking slowly to the light. It was like she weighed nothing. She wept constantly, and she was trying to free herself from my embrace, but I was holding her fast. After short while she stopped to struggle with my embrace. I crossed the border between dark and light and she started to cry as if it was hurting her. So I went back to darkness with her. I tried to ease her, I was filled with unconditional love which I tried to infuse into the woman. And I was cradling her while I was walking through the mud and filthy water under the bridge. For some reason I called her with the name of my first love even if she didn't look like her. I persuaded her that she is loved, that she doesn't have to suffer... And I was carrying her closer to light for short time and then back to darkness so she would be able to accustom to it slowly. At last, I managed to bring her out to the light for good, but she was holding me and looked scared of light. She was heavier and heavier for some reason. Nevertheless, even if she was growing more heavy I held her fast in my embrace and I walked away from darkness to stronger and stronger light till I lost connection with astral world.

Remarks
This OBE felt great... but sad. I needed to write it out of my system. Even now that sadness is lingering around me... I don't know in this state of consciousness how can one feel so deep sadness and love at once and yet to be unattached to those feelings, but it was how I was feeling there.