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    1. Psychological breakdown

      by , 07-29-2014 at 09:20 PM
      I was in some kind of big city... It was around noon. There were two people man and woman and they told me, that they will do psychological experiment on me. They wanted to try to break me. I agreed to this. Woman gave me an injection(very big one).
      They observed me closely. I didn't feel a thing... I was concentrated on here and now to battle possible effect of that medicine. I left from there after a while.

      I was walking through that city and reality started to give less and less meaning. I was losing ability to distinguish between real and imagined... It was as if imagined things started to be real and then again vanished. Everything lost its meaning. Something happened and after short while it didn't happened at all. Total chaos in my consciousness. I had strong doubts about my mental health. I concentrated as much as I could to stabilize my reality perception but it was worse and worse.

      That man and woman found me! They started to tell me that I killed some woman- I didn't know about anything. It was constructed, nothing was true... wasn't it? I was in big doubt. I saw pictures... It was very brutal murder. I felt ill... I asked myself whether I have problems with my memory. Could I do that without remembering it? They gave me more and more evidence... They told me about great many bad things I did. They asked me to plead guilty.

      My denial of reality was growing. I didn't know what to do. I felt strong energy inside. It wanted to leap out of me. I was closing myself from outside world. The man was pressing on me mentally. Where is my logical mind? I want peace. Nothing more... My inner energy surged, reality was broken. It emerged as hairline crack- darkness was leaking from it. The darkness was calling me, lured me inside crack in reality. I felt a pull and I didn't oppose to it. The darkness was slowly creeped around my hands and legs... around my body... like black smoke. It dragged me into crack. And crack in reality closed after I passed into darkness. There was black darkness. There was no thought. There was no doubt... There was peace. My energy was growing. My point of consciousness erupted in actinic white light. I was the only point of light in that blackness. I was one with peace.

      I obtained weak lucidity(weak because I had doubts) when I started to close myself from that "reality" After that, only thoughtless consciousness remained.

      Updated 07-30-2014 at 02:14 AM by 66278

      Tags: lucid, non-lucid
      Categories
      non-lucid