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    1. Dec 3 Dream Journal: Hockey + Basketball = This Crap

      by , 12-03-2013 at 05:43 PM
      I'm invited to a fancy mansion that has a slightly off-kilter architecture, like from the game Fable. I get a bird's-eye view, and it has a brown roof and is shaped like an elongated turtle.

      I'm on part of a mystery or side-quest -- I'm there to do something. I speak with the head of the house guards, who informs me the grounds are in lock down. I cannot leave the premises until the quest is complete. So I run around, talking to various haughty-looking guests to gather clues.

      I end up in the garage, where I picked up a basketball that is a little bit deflated. I inflate it with a bike pump, and go outside (so much for the lockdown) where I'm suddenly at my old house in Canada, and I'm going to shoot hoops at my neighbor's driveway baskets.

      I see my neighbors B, G, and F, who look like last I remembered nearly 20 years ago -- only, B (who is a couple grades older than me) looks like he's on steroids. F is hanging on the rim. I don't know how he got up there, but now he has a 8-feet drop, and he doesn't want to let go.

      Somehow, other people start showing up. One of them is some teenage girl who claims to be Kobe Bryant's biggest fan (this is exceedingly awkward for those who don't know about his... um... history). She insists on retrying my shoelaces to the current style, which is basically wrapping the laces around the entire shoe like you would tie up a roast.

      The game gets underway, but it devolves into a city-wide obstacle course, where you score by putting the ball through ANY basket you can find, provided you aren't checked or tackled while searching. It becomes very physical, and Dream Knowledge indicates people are getting injured regularly.

      I go up against a knight in full plate armor -- at this point, I'm back in Fable universe, but still playing the "basketball" game -- and I'm trying to figure out a way past his armor with my starting-weapon stick.

      I wake up.
    2. Nov. 19 Dream Journal pt 2: The Board(walk) of the Winds -- The Two Towers

      by , 11-19-2013 at 08:06 PM
      This is after I woke up from my first dream. I recited "if it's red, I'm in bed" with great difficulty before simply falling asleep.

      I'm walking in a somewhat active park with someone, and we drove my car there. It began pleasantly enough, but then the person I'm with starts to feel not as well. I say something along the lines of "lets go back to my car and turn on the AC"; but instead, like the actions of a rational human being, I put her in a shopping cart and scoot her around. I find this hilarious after I wake up, for very ironic reasons aside from the thought of pushing an unconscious adult around in a cart.

      We go to the boardwalk of a pier, which actually reminds me of Navy Pier in Chicago. And, like the real Navy Pier, it was ridonkulously foggy. It is starting to get dark at this time, and the streets lights are starting to turn on. We are heading towards Lake Michigan (or, in the dream, a random ocean), and to my left, I can see a giant, jade-colored tower with golden lights rising out of the fog in the waters. I couldn't see the base of it due to the fog/mist; but the way it is situated, it looks like the fog is some sort of a portal, and the tower is rising out of it since I can see the water line, and it is all clear. (Note: Now that I'm awake, I realize that it is very similar one of my favorite pictures I took of a tower in Chicago, which actually did kind of look like it was rising out of the fog -- hey, an excuse to use the attachment feature! -- though, not at this of an extreme as my dream).

      Hello! I'm New Here-20052011604.jpg
      It's the building to the right. God, I love Chicago.
      To my right is another giant tower, only this one is more marble white, and, due to its proximity, I can see the base (which featured columns -- lots and lots of columns). It's situated right in front of a grass quad. It's at this time my friend wakes up. I tell her she overheated (not as in a fever, but as in the cooling fans didn't work), and I figured the ocean breeze would help. I guess even Fake Chicago has winds colder than death. There was a Video Game College to our right in front of the white tower, so we decide to go in and visit.

      Inside, it is pleasantly lit. It looks like a hotel in terms of hallway/room layout, but the actual rooms feature wooden bunk beds like the dorms I've been in. The guy who greets us is a tubby, modern faux-hippy wearing a green shirt half a size too small, dirty orange hair in white-people dreads, and just-as-dirty-ginger beard (not a missed MILD cue alert for me, by the way: it's a very, very specific red that I'm noticing). The dream fades while the dude talks at me.

      The dream picks up again, and I'm back in the same busy park, only I moved backwards in time and it's the afternoon again. I'm next to my car, and it is parked on the street in the same spot as I "knew" from before. In terms of location, if I keep going straight, I'd eventually make it back to the pier again. To my right is a row of dirty apartment buildings; it's similar to the row houses you'd find in San Francisco, only if San Francisco just gave up and started downing whole gallons of ice cream each night.

      To my left is a grassy patch, with a large oak tree (the trunk is maybe a 1.5-meters wide) at my 10 'o clock. Just a bit past the tree, but more to my immediate left, is a decently sized park basketball court that features 4-5 rows of bleacher seats and chain-linked fences. Two of my housemates, E and S, are there, but they are complaining about the gutters around the court being overgrown with weeds. So now, in my mind, I make some sort of weird plan to insert a grate through the sewers where the roots are, cement off the opening while leaving a slight opening, then pulling the weeds out as they grow through the limited opening. Somewhere during the planning phase, I somehow actually do it.

      The dream fades; and then it gets a bit noteworthy.

      I wake up, and but it's not time for me to get out of bed yet, so I just lay there for a bit. I recite my MILD mantra just in case, but I still have the park dream with the basketball court fresh in my mind; so my mind begins to wander a bit about playing basketball. I thought about playing hoops with my friend DR. C!!! (FYI: it is required by law that you tell his name every time due to reasons)... the wicked crossover move I had in middle school... fantasized a bit about what if I was back in high school and I retained all my current abilities... being athletic enough to dunk the ball from the foul line... and suddenly, I wake up again. Apparently, I dozed off while thinking about basketball, only I don't think my stream of thought ever "broke," thus my mind was still busy doing the basketball equivalent of masturbating while my body slept. I'm chalking this up to some sort of WILD, or perhaps a very, very brief step towards LD?

      I drift in and out of sleep a little more, but nothing else happened.

      Updated 11-19-2013 at 08:10 PM by 66359

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    3. Nov. 19 Dream Journal pt 1: I guess I like basketball

      by , 11-19-2013 at 07:43 PM
      Part one is a short one because part two is much, much more vivid. But anyways, I continue use of my MILD mantra before dozing off.

      I'm watching basketball on television in a living room at what I feel like is my parents' house (I'm the only person in this dream). I'm also aware that I'm cooking something in the adjoining kitchen, so I'm not completely engrossed in the game.

      In the basketball game, I know it's the Boston Celtics against the Miami Heat -- two teams that I root against. A lot of sequences involve LeBron James guarding Jason Terry (for the 99.9999% of you who don't watch the NBA, if this was a chess match, this is like watching a world-class chess player defending against a carrot), and Jason Terry is doing frustrating Jason Terry things that is frustrating because frustrating people is how frustrating Jason Terry frustrates. He's over-dribbling, driving into crowds, doing useless spins, putting up contested fadeaways... only it's all somehow fucking working. Seeing how I dislike Miami marginally more so than Boston, I root for the carrot despite my objections as a basketball fascist.

      Anyways, I remember that I have a pot of broth on the stove; and when I go check, the broth is bubbling (but not going nuts). I manage the heat a little, and then I wake up.

      The odd thing is, when I woke up at whatever dumb time it was, I got this overwhelming sense of melancholy about missing my parents, watching basketball, and cooking -- except that I stayed over at my parents house, watched basketball, and helped cook dinner that exact same night.

      Updated 11-19-2013 at 07:48 PM by 66359

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    4. Oct 20 Dream Journal: Take me home to where the grass is green...

      by , 10-20-2013 at 08:11 PM
      I dream of a really beautiful, tropical paradise, like the Hawaii scenery you'd see on postcards. The beach is perfect, and there is exotic fauna and grassy fields. Off in the distance I can see clear skies over sapphire-blue oceans. The ends of two islands frame the edge of my view, and they are equally lush and picturesque; but I know I'm on the "main" island where everyone wants to be. The colors in this world are way to crisp and vivid to possibly exist, like someone is drunk while playing with Photoshop.

      I turn around, and there is a cliff/overhang that has the sun peaking through the top. A stream and pool bubbles at the bottom, and there is a small waterfall. I had to wade through some relatively thick foliage to get through to the edge of the pool, which is an emerald green. A path has already been made in the foliage to reach it. The sunbeam perfectly illuminates a set of wooden stairs that's built into the cliff, and I notice that the moisture gives the rocky walls a nice little glisten.

      I walk up the stairs, and after reaching the top of the cliff, I am now on Woburn street, across the street from my friend P's house and next to the Haggen's grocery store. This is not at all an accurate map of my old home town. I turn around, and the cliff is gone, though I'm back on the same level as the grass area of the beach. It is now more of a park now, and I can see people playing. In the middle of the field is an asphalt basketball court, and my friend E is playing on it. I jog over to join him, but the dream fades before I could reach the court.

      Dream two got pretty fun! I'm in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but the people have regrouped to a Victorian steampunk setting. It's a clear, sunny and beautiful day, because I'm zipping around in my own goddammned-right-it's-an airship! The airships in the world comes in all shapes and sizes, and seem to be relatively common. I also know being in the air is much more preferable than living in the surface, because the surface is a harsh world of destruction and mutant monsters.

      My gear seems to be inspired by WWI pilots. I know I have a scarf and goggles on, and I have what appears to be a bomber jacket. I also have two belts around my waist: one is around the belt loops of my pants, and carries some light gear, while another one hangs off it and holsters a Wild West-styled six-shooter, only I know it fires lasers in a shotgun-like spread that resemble golden needles despite me not once using it in my dream. I also have a large object strapped on my back with a handle, so I assume it's a thing I use to smash jerks who got into melee range; because that totally is common in aerial dogfights.

      ANYWAYS, the airship I pilot is unique in that I operate it like a motorcycle, and is custom made by -- oh yes -- Nikola Tesla (David Bowie version) himself. First, in this world, Tesla is also kind of my employer/dispatcher, and I receive jobs from him via a communicator like the one Mr. House uses in Fallout. Second, when I realize that Tesla designed my airship, the balloon part of my ship gets damaged; I'm not sure if it's a malfunction, or did someone shoot me, but either way, I say something lame to the effects of "time for plan B!" and transform my ship into an electric hovercraft like the ones used in The Matrix, complete with the electric coils. The ship is supported in the air by the electricity that ropes out, and my ship "swings" from these beams. I dive down towards the surface because NOW I'm sure I am being chased, but this sequence fades as I'm diving.

      In my heart of hearts, I like to think my dream self is being challenged by my Thomas Edison-supported rival in a race across the world, and the ensuing awesome can't be comprehended until I shed my physical form.

      Updated 11-14-2013 at 01:34 AM by 66359

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    5. Oct. 19 Dream Journal: The Führer will not be pleased

      by , 10-19-2013 at 09:41 PM
      I dream of a sci-fi desert landscape, though the vibe of it has a grainy feel like I'm in the movie Dune. I'm in the role of a distant visitor, where I bring with me knowledge of a distant world to the kindly people of this planet which I'm calling Space Eden. They are dressed in robes, kind of like a futuristic-medieval society that, again, resembles Dune. I'm walking along their city, overseeing the defenses they are building. I am at a sloped pass, and two 20-feet tall Golems that move Claymation style guard the top of the pass on each side. They resemble muscular humanoids, except their feet are platform blocks starting at the ankle, so they are more defense towers than wandering sentries. I know I inspect more of their defenses, but I don't think I actually ever "view" it before the scene changes.

      I'm now hanging out with my friend J, who is moping around the couch while I play video games. At one point, I discover something in the game that piques his interest, like a new option or setting or something, but he loses focus because I'm playing a basketball game, a sport I think 95% of the population of planet Earth have no interest in. My other friend Girl-J, who is also Boy-J's ex, comes in, and we all hang out with some slight awkwardness. Then Boy-J suddenly announces he has to visit his mother... in-law! And we all laugh like this is a funny joke in a sitcom. Don't ask me why my sub-conscious thinks I'd laugh at this.

      The scene changes again, and I'm in a vibe that resembles The Great Escape, where it's sunny and hot and my vision again has the "grain" feel from movies in that era. I'm planning to enter a race as an opportunity to escape from... wait for it... Space Nazis.

      The race itself is, somehow, a Go-Kart race for children, and I blend in by racing in a Formula 1 race car. During the race, I jump over a train a la Fonzie jumping over sharks, and I guide my jump so that the car hits the plume of black smoke coming out of this old-timey steam-engine train that happens to pass by. By Dream Science logic, the velocity of which I hit the plume of smoke causes it to produce even more smoke, allowing me to hide from the Space Nazis. I get a brief view change of an American SWAT team sniper -- who looks like the sniper from The Negotiator who couldn't shoot Sammy J, complete with backwards cap and wispy mustache -- reporting that he lost me. I don't know why he is working for the Nazis, nor do I know how anyone was able to lose me in the black smoke because it was a sunny day, and where else could I have possibly been?!

      ANYWAYS, the Nazis also confirm I'm off their radar, and that inspires the child racers to run away. Their Go-Karts are now Hoverbikes, and they are also dressed in Star Wars outfits. They circle some Nazi officers like a biker gang on a little hill before taking off. The last child even does a wheelie, and he's dressed as Darth Vader, complete with a tiny, functional lightsaber that he waves around like he's on horseback. I think he will grow up to be a great leader of men.

      The scene cut backs to Space Eden! Of course Space Nazis have begun invading Space Eden, and I'm back at the ridge with the Golems where my dream started. It is a very grisly battle, and I'm with the Edeners (thank God my subconscious sided me against the Nazis!), grimly overseeing the defense. The Golems kick plenty of ass, stealing laser rifles from the Nazis hands and shooting down the invaders. But the carnage is simply too much: The Golems take too much damage, and the one on the right crumbles first. The Space-Edeners fight with cool-looking plasma swords, but every time they kill a Space Nazi, they get ambushed and stabbed through the chest from behind and die a horrific death. That scene plays over and over again. The defenses we set up do their job, but we eventually retreat to the Great Hall.

      The Great Hall resembles a very upscale restaurant in the modern age, kind of like the restaurant in The Six Sense. This part is where my brain really got deep with its story, filling out background details on the fly:

      There's a love triangle being resolved in the Great Hall battle, and it is between a high-ranking Nazi General; his beautiful but distant wife (who is dressed in a flowing red gown); and the young Nazi Officer that loves her, and is now fighting for the Edeners. The vibe is kind of like the love triangle in The Titanic. The General and the Officer duel (with rapiers), and the General is clearly the superior swordsman. He overpowers the Officer and trips him down while knocking his sword away. Holding the rapier to the Officer's throat, the General sneers and stands over his opponent, says something dark (though I don't know what, exactly) as he is about to deliver the finishing blow. But the wife overhears that, says something like "Thank you for reminding me of Maurice (which Dream Knowledge fills out the story of Maurice as the Wife's abusive first husband)." She then grabs the General, suplexes(!) the General into a nearby soup cart, and kills him by dunking his head into the boiling-lava-hot soup that melts his face, Raiders-style. I don't know why this restaurant is serving soup that fucking hot. I approach the Officer to help him up, and I quip some smart-ass line like "your girlfriend is going to kick your ass," though I don't remember the exact words.

      The death of the General turns the tides, and the Space Nazi President (yes, in this scenario, the Nazis have a Democratic society) surrenders. President Nazi is not, sadly, Robo-Hitler, and in fact resembles Mel Brooks as President Skroob. I will let the irony of Mel Brooks Nazi sink in. President Nazi begs for forgiveness, but the Elder of the Space Edeners say something like "your money can't buy back the lives you took today," and President Nazi is taken away by two, human-sized Golems.

      The dream fades, though I know there was going to be a celebration. Too bad, I wanted to be awarded a Space Eden medal alongside with Han Solo and Chewie.

      Updated 11-14-2013 at 01:35 AM by 66359

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    6. Oct 17 Dream Journal: You shall not pass!

      by , 10-17-2013 at 07:06 PM
      I'm in a bombed-out bus that's been converted into a trolley that is currently being used as a taxi cab in what looks like 60's-era Vietnam in Full Metal Jacket. I'm having a lot of trouble communicating with the other passenger seated across from me that I don't understand Vietnamese. But I happen to speak Taiwanese, and by Dream Logic, I realize that the two languages are only two steps removed from each other, and are close enough that we are now able to have a conversation. This sequence fades before we can talk, though.

      Now I'm hanging around my actual house. I'm watching an NBA game while also playing a video game on my tablet. I focus on the TV, and I recognize LeBron James (Heat), Vince Carter (Raptors), Yao Ming (Rockets -- I'm not watching an All-Star game, and yes, the timing is off, for those who follow sports); and when an on-screen "who's on the court now" graphic flashes, one of the forwards is Bob Odenkirk from Mr. Show. Yes, Saul Goodman is somehow holding his own against a bunch of NBA superstars from the 2000's. I will pay money to watch this happen in real life.

      I focus on my tablet, and the game I'm playing is World of Warcraft-esque, but now that I focus on the game, I'm transported into the game as an actual character. I'm in a dungeon, a lot like DOS-era Prince of Persia with a lot of stairs winding up in right angles. There is a platform in the middle that holds the sacred... Block of Cheese. Um.

      ANYWAYS, a rival wizard is nearby, and I have to prevent him from getting to that cheese before me. But he is more powerful than I am, and in a bid to stall for time, I taunt him and engage him into a belching contest. Just for the record, I am not this crass in person. I briefly turn into Eric Cartman for this contest. I burp a poisonous green gas, while the other wizard burps fire. When our burps collide, it causes an explosion. We keep one-upping each other until finally, the wizard gets really frustrated (I think it's because he's had enough of such childish antics. I know I would've been). Instead of going after the cheese, he teleports next to me, fully intent on destroying me. It's at this time that I got a good look at him, and he resembles Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python. He has his arms raised to annihilate me.

      But ah ha! I'm not a wizard. I'm a goddamned Paladin, and as he realizes that he made a mistake of coming within melee range, I catch him in a sticky trap (mocking him in Cartman's voice again) and proceed to pummel him like a punching bag. At one point of my overly-violent behavior, I actually visualize me punching the punching bag in my gym, FPS style, and even pause so I can look at my movelist like I'm in Street Fighter. I wake up.

      I'm the worst Paladin ever.

      Updated 11-14-2013 at 01:35 AM by 66359

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    7. Oct 15: I am not the Sloth the city needs

      by , 10-15-2013 at 07:45 PM
      I dreamed I was a sloth (or a sloth-like creature) in captivity, possibly a zoo or a laboratory. I'm sharing food with my captive neighbor, a slow loris. Call it a leap of logic, but I'm going to say spending Saturday watching videos of slow lorises with R may have influenced this dream, because I knew it was the same, sad-looking slow loris that I'm slowly handing food to. Except in this reality, the slow loris is genuinely sad, and I felt an immense desire to free it from its predicament.

      Scene change, and I'm suddenly a fugitive in the city that looks like it was an animation background from the 90's Batman cartoons. Though I know we are the same "person," I wasn't a sloth anymore -- in fact, I am exceedingly fast and agile in this scene, parkouring my way across rooftops, wall-jumping up buildings, and flipping over signs and billboards. At one point during my joyride around the city, I found the time to dunk a basketball on a hardwood court in the middle of a game that I was playing in, even though I'm being supposed to be fleeing.

      Speaking of, I don't know who/what unseen forces are pursuing me, but I know that I'm running into a bottleneck, and I'll eventually be caught. Only my incredible dream-athleticism that would get me killed in real-life is saving me, but all I'm doing is delaying the inevitable. I eventually wake up before I know what happened.

      Updated 11-13-2013 at 05:54 AM by 66359

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