WhyAmINaked

I dream of a sci-fi desert landscape, though the vibe of it has a grainy feel like I'm in the movie Dune. I'm in the role of a distant visitor, where I bring with me knowledge of a distant world to the kindly people of this planet which I'm calling Space Eden. They are dressed in robes, kind of like a futuristic-medieval society that, again, resembles Dune. I'm walking along their city, overseeing the defenses they are building. I am at a sloped pass, and two 20-feet tall Golems that move Claymation style guard the top of the pass on each side. They resemble muscular humanoids, except their feet are platform blocks starting at the ankle, so they are more defense towers than wandering sentries. I know I inspect more of their defenses, but I don't think I actually ever "view" it before the scene changes.

I'm now hanging out with my friend J, who is moping around the couch while I play video games. At one point, I discover something in the game that piques his interest, like a new option or setting or something, but he loses focus because I'm playing a basketball game, a sport I think 95% of the population of planet Earth have no interest in. My other friend Girl-J, who is also Boy-J's ex, comes in, and we all hang out with some slight awkwardness. Then Boy-J suddenly announces he has to visit his mother... in-law! And we all laugh like this is a funny joke in a sitcom. Don't ask me why my sub-conscious thinks I'd laugh at this.

The scene changes again, and I'm in a vibe that resembles The Great Escape, where it's sunny and hot and my vision again has the "grain" feel from movies in that era. I'm planning to enter a race as an opportunity to escape from... wait for it... Space Nazis.

The race itself is, somehow, a Go-Kart race for children, and I blend in by racing in a Formula 1 race car. During the race, I jump over a train a la Fonzie jumping over sharks, and I guide my jump so that the car hits the plume of black smoke coming out of this old-timey steam-engine train that happens to pass by. By Dream Science logic, the velocity of which I hit the plume of smoke causes it to produce even more smoke, allowing me to hide from the Space Nazis. I get a brief view change of an American SWAT team sniper -- who looks like the sniper from The Negotiator who couldn't shoot Sammy J, complete with backwards cap and wispy mustache -- reporting that he lost me. I don't know why he is working for the Nazis, nor do I know how anyone was able to lose me in the black smoke because it was a sunny day, and where else could I have possibly been?!

ANYWAYS, the Nazis also confirm I'm off their radar, and that inspires the child racers to run away. Their Go-Karts are now Hoverbikes, and they are also dressed in Star Wars outfits. They circle some Nazi officers like a biker gang on a little hill before taking off. The last child even does a wheelie, and he's dressed as Darth Vader, complete with a tiny, functional lightsaber that he waves around like he's on horseback. I think he will grow up to be a great leader of men.

The scene cut backs to Space Eden! Of course Space Nazis have begun invading Space Eden, and I'm back at the ridge with the Golems where my dream started. It is a very grisly battle, and I'm with the Edeners (thank God my subconscious sided me against the Nazis!), grimly overseeing the defense. The Golems kick plenty of ass, stealing laser rifles from the Nazis hands and shooting down the invaders. But the carnage is simply too much: The Golems take too much damage, and the one on the right crumbles first. The Space-Edeners fight with cool-looking plasma swords, but every time they kill a Space Nazi, they get ambushed and stabbed through the chest from behind and die a horrific death. That scene plays over and over again. The defenses we set up do their job, but we eventually retreat to the Great Hall.

The Great Hall resembles a very upscale restaurant in the modern age, kind of like the restaurant in The Six Sense. This part is where my brain really got deep with its story, filling out background details on the fly:

There's a love triangle being resolved in the Great Hall battle, and it is between a high-ranking Nazi General; his beautiful but distant wife (who is dressed in a flowing red gown); and the young Nazi Officer that loves her, and is now fighting for the Edeners. The vibe is kind of like the love triangle in The Titanic. The General and the Officer duel (with rapiers), and the General is clearly the superior swordsman. He overpowers the Officer and trips him down while knocking his sword away. Holding the rapier to the Officer's throat, the General sneers and stands over his opponent, says something dark (though I don't know what, exactly) as he is about to deliver the finishing blow. But the wife overhears that, says something like "Thank you for reminding me of Maurice (which Dream Knowledge fills out the story of Maurice as the Wife's abusive first husband)." She then grabs the General, suplexes(!) the General into a nearby soup cart, and kills him by dunking his head into the boiling-lava-hot soup that melts his face, Raiders-style. I don't know why this restaurant is serving soup that fucking hot. I approach the Officer to help him up, and I quip some smart-ass line like "your girlfriend is going to kick your ass," though I don't remember the exact words.

The death of the General turns the tides, and the Space Nazi President (yes, in this scenario, the Nazis have a Democratic society) surrenders. President Nazi is not, sadly, Robo-Hitler, and in fact resembles Mel Brooks as President Skroob. I will let the irony of Mel Brooks Nazi sink in. President Nazi begs for forgiveness, but the Elder of the Space Edeners say something like "your money can't buy back the lives you took today," and President Nazi is taken away by two, human-sized Golems.

The dream fades, though I know there was going to be a celebration. Too bad, I wanted to be awarded a Space Eden medal alongside with Han Solo and Chewie.