The Kestrel's Dreams

February 05, 2015

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IT'S NOT RIGHT...

Zukin and I were in some other country and we found a Dönner Kebab place. But they were trying to put bacon on it. We spent hours arguing with the people about the fact that Dönner shouldn't have Bacon in it, and that we weren't going to pay for it unless they made it right. It was a full dream about arguing about food.




Monster Trucks

I was with my brothers B and E, and we had rented a monster truck. We spent some time in parking garages and ended up spending the night at a museum with a group of people. We played games, made videos and took lots of pictures. I didn't think it was as late as it was, but when I saw the sun rising, I remembered that my brothers and I were supposed to be home for my parents' anniversary. They didn't want us to leave, and I didn't want to leave either, because I had a thing for one of the guys.

But we had to leave. E was driving, and we took a wrong turn, but didn't realize it until much later. We went down this whole race-track-like mesa path in the desert. We got all the way through it, and I was freaked out because E was driving really fast, and almost passed a real race-car. We stopped at the end of it, and this man tried to recruit E to be a racer for him. He commented on how E had almost beat the professional racer, even though he'd never had any training. But E turned them down because he had to get us back home. But the car broke down. Somehow B fixed it, and got on the wheel to drive us back home. We carefully drove back down the mesa path, watching for oncoming traffic since it was pretty much a one-way road.

When we got home, we parked at the bottom of the driveway. We got out of the car, and an old family friend got out of a car that had just parked behind us. She was with a younger woman, and she came up to me. She hugged me and said, "So, I hear you've started nursing!" I said I hadn't had a baby, so I couldn't be nursing. She held up a diamond necklace, and said, "well, I can't just give this to you if you're not nursing...!" And the younger woman with her tried to get her to give it to her instead.

We get inside, and I hug my mom, She starts crying a little, and I am confused a little. I assume she just missed us so much. She and dad gave us a huge scroll with a riddle on it... it took us about an hour to solve. At the end, we came up with "and we'll have a new /./"

We were so confused about this. But then B was like "Wait!" and we figured out we had made a miscalculation. It was supposed to say "and we'll have a new son." They were telling us mom was pregnant. Which was sooooooo weird. Because after my little brother, they made sure they couldn't have kids anymore... I would have gotten lucid from this if I hadn't suddenly wondered who's old room the baby would have, and worried that it would be my room. My life seemed to be upside down in these moments...




LIBERATION

I was in a group of people on a different universe... we were all part of the same working group, but we were oppressed by the more "popular" members of the cleaning group. We were walking back from a day's work, and one of my companions was falling behind... the work he had made him break pout in uncontrollable acne, and everyone made fun of him for it. There were about five of us in all, and after work on this day, I was so infuriated with how they were left to fall behind, and we came together and one of the inhabitants of this other universe helped us get back home... It involved taking video and pictures and we were all huddled together...

We got home, but all missed that friend who had helped us get home. At first none of us talked about our experiences... but about a year from getting back, this girl from the other universe was so famous and like an idol in our own universe. When I told people I had taken one of the most iconic pictures, nobody believed me... so we showed them the video from that time, and my face flashed in the camera. I had the face of Emma Watson.

September 19, 2014

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I was at home with my family, and we somehow picked up a baby. Like an infant baby. I was taking the baby to class with me, but I wanted to go to an amusement park with Kels and Zukin, and didn't know where to put the baby while we went out. I went back home to get him, and at first I couldn't find him, because I had left him at home that day. I realized I forgot to feed him, and panicked that he had died. But he was there in my room when I got there. I breastfed him, and for some reason a guy was there, and I was completely naked. It was either my ex or the guy I like now. I was feeding the baby, and remembered that dream I had a while ago about feeding my baby, and I nodded. Yeah, this is exactly how it felt! lol.

Then the baby started talking. He talked to me, though I don't remember what he said. I'd completely forgotten about going to the amusement park, and the baby and I bonded. I secretly wanted him to think of me as his real mother...

Then he turned into a fish or a Pokemon, or something. We went out for a walk, and there was a Pokemon swarm attack, and I accidentally caught a lot of them. I found out that some of the new ones were the same species as the used-to-be-baby, and frantically figured out which one talked and released the rest of them.

September 08, 2014

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Haunted Amusement Park on the High Way

I am driving at night in the snow... I am coming home from some event that I had been at with one of the groups I am in... I can't remember if it was with my Cohort or if it was with the Backpacking Club...

I'm in the car with at least one other girl, and suddenly we start flying over a super haunted Amusement Park on the way. It was in the median between the two directions on the highway... We flew around the Farris-wheel a few times and then through this creepy-ass clown's face, driving up its tongue and into its mouth, and then out through a hole in the back of its head... I was getting so creeped out, but the car was moving on its own and a male voice kept telling me it was alright and I shouldn't be scared... Eventually I regain control and get the fuck back on the road, driving as fast as I can away from that place.

When we get to the destination, we surprised everyone and I get drinks with them. There was something about a talking tree....




Seduction

Two ladies (possibly sisters, or maybe just friends staying over?) are defending a house from robbers by seducing them. Allan Rickman is one of them. The robbers get caught and go bye-bye to jail, and the ladies go on with the life. Apparently both of them have men-folk who hadn't been at home when the robbers came, and they both get pregnant around the same time. The younger one then goes away for a while and comes back with a baby.

But the older lady is all nosy about how it happened, and finds out that the baby is actually Alan Rickman's. The older one gasped and yelled at the younger one that the seducing was never supposed to go that far. The younger one says she couldn't help it "and besides it was great, and she had been seeing him on conjugal visits ever since."

Bahahaha!

August 14, 2014

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I Shall be so Late!

I was a few days into my Fall Placement, and I was super late for my class. School starts at 8:45, so I have to be there at least by 8:00 to help my mentor teacher set up the classroom and get ready for the students; but I didn't get there until 9:00, and came in partway during the first day of class. My MT was super nice but disappointed and said she really needed to have me in the class earlier.

I was late the next day as well.

And the next. My MT was getting angry with me, and said that if I was late one more day she would find a different intern and I would fail my fall placement. I was scared, so I stayed out until it was dark, drinking. I wasn't DRUNK drunk, but I was tipsy, and waiting for a bus. I felt like I was in Germany again but I know I wasn't. I accidentally got on the 4 bus, when I need the 2 line. I got off at the next stop, which wasn't too far away from a stop the 2 line goes to, but the neighborhood was sketchy, and there was a large park on the other side of the road, mostly pitch-black except for a small lit portion near a street lamp. there were three figures under the light, and they started walking toward me. I saw the bus coming, thank goodness, and got on the bus. I thanked the driver, but he was confused.





Car Race

I was in a car race, which had a scavenger hunt type event at the very end. I met a guy during the race, and he said that I was an important person in his quest to save the world, or something. Okay maybe it wasn't saving the world. He was writing a song for his son, who had just died at only 6 months old. The lyrics were profoundly inspiring in the dream, but I can't remember them now. I remember that he had written this song when his son was born, but the lyrics fit for his death as well, with the addition of a simple "goodbye." He needed my voice and the voices of people in a choir I was part of. We were supposed to sing it. And it was so beautiful, and so filled with love, but also so melancholy and full of mourning.

June 19, 2014

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LOTS AND LOTS OF SHIT.

I was pregnant in this dream. I don;t remember if I was in my home-town or my college-town, since the main streets from both cities were definitely in the dream... Maybe I was in both cities at some point in the dream.

So I had no idea who the father was, for some reason. Everyone at the office at which I worked assumed it was my coworker, who said he loved me. But I'd refused him because I didn't love him. In my dream, the part I remember most was in the car on the way to the hospital for a checkup in the last few weeks before I was due. I was asking my mom, who was driving me, if it was okay to use an epidural. She said it was fine, and I was relieved because I didn't think I could handle the pain (though IRL, I probably can. I'm always hurting myself and get migraines so natural childbirth should be a piece of cake ;D *bricked*) I remember that my mom started ranting about all the shit (literally) involved with childbirth, and I was laughing.



Light Switch

All I remember is that it was pitch black, COMPLETELY pitch black (like a complete blackout in a cave. NO. LIGHT. AT ALL) and I was trying to find a light switch.



Blitzball

I vaguely remember being immersed in water. I may have been playing Blitzball.

June 16, 2014

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Night Sky

I was with the backpacking club, camping in the field behind my house for some reason. It's dark out already, but it's a warm night, so we're all wearing shorts and maybe a hoodie or something. I remember laying on the ground underneath the tree I climbed all the time as a kid. I was looking up at the stars through the sparse leaves; the tree is old, and not as full as it once was.

As I lay there, Ivan comes and lays down perpendicular to me, and we start talking as we look up at the sky. I remember the sky being overly bright. Like, in this picture with the celestial objects as they would appear if they were only brighter. All these things are actual size, believe it or not.

Anyways, the sky was so beautiful. I don't remember what exactly Ivan and I were talking about, but I remember being confused in my dream as to whether he was trying to be romantic or trying to just be a good friend. After a while, Dan walks by, asking if he can build a fire. Ivan and I both say that it's not allowed here, but that he can make a fire down in the woods (which makes no sense whatsoever. There's a fire-pit in my backyard so it would have been fine). Dan and a few of the others leave to go make a fire, and then Ivan moves so that he's laying right next to me and we lay in silence for a while until I wake up.



Silly Baby

I took a nap later in the afternoon, and had this dream:
I was in my apartment, and a friend from highschool, Kelcey, and her husband live in the unit right next to mine. I was sitting in my living room with the screen door open to let some breeze in, and Kelcey's baby (she actually has one) crawls in and starts wondering my apartment. I get up and follow her, letting her explore but being careful to watch her to make sure she doesn't hurt herself or anything. I let her go on until she reaches the bathroom, then I pick her up and carry her back to the living room, where I find Kelcey standing at the screen door. Her husband is in a beanbag chair out on my little patio.

I hand her the baby all nonchalant, as if it were a routine we had, and invited them all inside. Kelcey asked if I had a tin of nuts because she was ravenous. I found some in the cupboard and brought them out to her, and then woke up.

May 11, 2014

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This dream was one of the most vivid and powerful dreams I have ever had. It was short, but it was so... wow.

I dreamed that I had just come home from the hospital after giving birth. I must have still been in high school or something, because I was living at my parents' house. My mom had taken the baby inside the house, and I walked around outside for a little while.

When I got back inside, I took my baby in my arms and walked back to my room, closing the door. I just wanted to be alone with my baby. I stood leaning on the door, and tried to feed the baby; it hadn't breastfed at the hospital, and It had made me feel so depressed. I tried now, and it still refused. I switched the my right side, and like magic, the baby started to feed. It was... It's so hard to describe how it felt. It felt so REAL.

I could feel it physically. It was the strongest feeling I've ever had. I felt all the warmth and joy and magic and mystery that a mother must feel the first time she and her baby share that intimate moment... At least, I think that's how it would feel. I won't know until I feel it for real some day. But man. It was so strong. So vivid. I even remember what the baby looked like. Every detail. It had my eyes and the same thick hair I had when I was born, but the nose and chin must have been its fathers. I remember every little pink vein in its face. I wish I remembered whether it was a boy or a girl, but I never checked (it sounds silly now, but why would I have to check if I already knew?) I hope it was a girl. but I think if it were a boy, it would be cool.



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I woke up and looked around for my baby. It was the saddest wake-up I've ever experienced. It felt like a hole had been ripped out of me, at first. It faded as the morning wore on, but I was out of it all day. Even now, in June, I feel a hole in my heart that won't be filled until I have that baby for real.