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    The Kestrel's Dreams

    Welcome to my Dream Journal! I'm still getting used to the site, so bear with me!

    I'll make this all pretty eventually.


    // Recurring Characters (real people), for your and my own reference (since they're all aliases) //

    Zukin: Bestie and 3/4, went to Germany with me last year. We have almost died together multiple times by now
    Backpacking Group: Zukin, Ivan, Dan, Josh, Kebab, Penny, Cindy, and Suzy; We all drove down to Texas and spent Spring Break ('14) backpacking in the Guadalupe Mountains
    Bob: Older Brother
    Erik: Little Brother
    Germany Group: Zukin plus 7 others who were in the same program to study abroad in Germany for 6 months
    Kristin: Current roommate and close friend of four years
    Jasmine: High school Best Friend, but we don't talk much anymore


    Now that I have something Lucid in my DJ: Orange text = Lucid

    1. Beach Fun

      by , 12-31-2014 at 09:24 AM (The Kestrel's Dreams)
      December 30, 2015



      I've Gotten Soft

      I was a wolf, and was worried that I'd gotten soft, because I was hanging out with a bear and a beaver. But then some bad human was scheming something; he wanted to catch the animals where I lived by laying traps for them.

      I switched to being the beaver or some other small mammal, and warned the wolf that what the bad human brought to our home was going to seem like it was a good thing, but was actually going to destroy our world... But the wolf smelled some pot pies on an island across the river from where we stood. I think we had been on a railroad track, right next to the opening of a tunnel. When we got to the small island with the pot pies on it though, we started pulling weeds because we wanted the place to be beautiful. This somehow foiled the bad human's plans, and he was moaning and grieving back on the train tracks.




      I woke up from this random and short dream, but wasn't ready to get up yet, so I tried to fall back asleep. I usually have my best dreams at these moments... I wasn't disappointed. I had this dream next:

      Beach Fun

      I was on a beach with my family. My brothers and I were playing a sort of shooting game, where we had to see how close to shooting each other we could get without actually hitting each other. The guns suddenly turned into those nerf dart guns after a squabble where I apparently shot too fast consecutively. My little brother shot me and the dart stuck right to my chest. Then I shot my big brother three times; in the arm, the neck, and the hip.

      After our battle, we all wanted to go for a walk along the shore. But we had a lot of stuff out with us, so we had to go take it to the car so it would be safe. The car was all the way at the back of the parking lot though, so we had to walk a ways. Dad said he would bring the car around after the first load of stuff, so that we wouldn't have to walk so far next time. I spotted an open parking spot much closer to the beach, and suggested we just move the car there.

      On the way to the car, I looked into the woods to my left and noticed huge giraffe replicas. I'm talking like seven-story building tall giraffes. There were maybe 6 or 8 of them, all posed as if walking to the beach to our right. They looked just like real giraffes, just much bigger. To my right, there were some large pelican statues. One of them had its wings out as if beating them to scare enemies away. For some reason my big brother then hatched out of a giant egg near the pelican statues. I was a bit confused, but he seemed to think it was totally normal. We crossed a small pedestrian bridge that was more like a large log over the water, and the ground shook momentarily. I looked up and saw the neck of one of the large giraffes moving. I was scared that they were coming to life and were going to smoosh us, but they didn't. It looked at me, then moved back to its original position and everything stopped moving again...

      At this point, my consciousness was slightly shifted; I was The Doctor, but I was still me. If that makes sense. I looked in the woods to the left again, and saw about five Tardises. I blinked, and they were gone. I was very excited, because another Tardis meant there might be another Time Lord than me! My family all went back to the beach area, and I snuck back out to the woods to find the other Time Lords. It was dark now, and when I saw the 5 of them again, I was so exstatic. I wasn't alone! But as I drew nearer, they started morphing from blue Police Call boxes into red Phone Boothes, and I paniced. They all started randomly phasing in and out of Tardis, and never seemed to stay as a Tardis by the time I reached them.

      I finally managed to catch one of them as it was blue, but then Emma Stone walked out of it and the sound of flushing came to my mind. They were all just porta-potties, and I'd just been too excited. Emma was drunk as all get out, though. She was stumbling and looked like she was going to vomit again. I helped her get to her cabin, only about fifty feet from the potty. Her mom was inside, and they both thanked me so much and almost worshipped me for some reason. They invited me to a festival that was happening the next day, but I was already going with my family, so I declined.

      Flash forward to my family and I leaving the spot on the beach again. My mom and I are in Yukatas, and we are headed for the festival. The parking lot was lined with all sorts of stalls, and my mom wanted to take pictures of me all over the place. But I couldn't see any of the giant giraffes anymore. This made me suspect I was dreaming, so I looked down to my hands, and noticed I had an extra pinky finger on my right hand. I was dreaming!

      I wanted to set off a firework, which was perfect, because I was at a festival. There were usually fireworks at these things, right? I looked behind a few stalls, because that's where I thought they would have fireworks stored for later. After a few stalls, I found a stash. I grabbed some of the biggest ones, and stuffed them into the folds on my Yukata. Normally, they shouldn't have had any business fitting, but it was a dream. Yukatas are apparently like a Tardis; bigger on the inside.

      I decided to wander for a bit, and noticed something fishy about the trees all around me. I shuffled behind a bush, and inspected the bases of the trees. They turned out to be made of metal. The trunks were cut into strips at the bases, and then bent outwards slightly to create a slight fanning out. It was kind of beautiful, in a way. I appreciated the artistry and patience of whoever could have created a whole forest of metal trees that looked so real.

      I wanted to set off the fireworks now, but it was still light. I closed my eyes and willed it to get dark, envisioning the sun setting. When I opened my eyes, it was still light, but when I looked through the metal branches and leaves of the trees above me, I could see the sun moving fast through the sky. In about 20 seconds it was sunset. The sun slowed a bit, and the sunset lasted a few minutes, it was beautiful, but the trees blocked a lot of the colors. Soon, it was dark enough for fireworks.

      I hopped on over to the beach, flying through a small path in the woods that lead to the water. I stuck the fireworks in the sand near the water (but not close enough for them to get wet), and realized I had no matches. I could have tried sticking my hand in my pocket... But I wanted to try it Roy Mustang style. I went back to the tree-line, and snapped my finger a couple times, expecting there to be fire when I did. It took a few tries. When I was confident I could summon the flames this way, I aimed and snapped a bolt of fire at the fuses for the rockets. It worked, and this made me want to try other things with fire...

      (Backstory required here... When I was a kid, two of my friends and I would spend our time creating elaborate fantasy worlds in which we each controlled an element and ruled over a kingdom. I ruled over fire, and even made a whole story back this world. Anyways, I wanted to try some of the things "I" could do in this fantasy world of mine)

      I wanted to try making a disc of fire that I could stand on. I'd spent so long thinking about how these things worked while writing the story, so I just did what I had imagined many times already, and it worked pretty well. It was familiar and nostalgic. I held out my hands and there it was. I moved it up, down, side to side a bit before stepping onto it.

      But I remembered the fuses on the fireworks just as they went off. I also wanted to follow the firework so I could watch from the inside, so I shot off after it. I'm not sure if I was flying with the flame disc or if I'd just left it hovering there. I caught up to the firework, and then it went off, and it was so cool. It wasn't so much firework-looking as just flashes of color blinding everything else out of my vision. It lasted a lot longer than a normal firework. There was a sort of pinkish orangish background haze around me, and lots of lines of colors shooting out from where my feet were. Some shimmers and sparkles, too.

      When it was over, I just hovered in the air for a bit. I was a little dazed, and felt the dream destabilizing, so I tried rubbing my hands together. I've never tried that to keep a dream, so I wasn't sure how well it would work. I just then remembered a dare I'd seen for anyone. I wanted to get into those dares. The only one I could think of, which randomly popped into my head then, was to fall from a height without slowing down, or something like that. Something about hitting the ground at full speed.

      The dream was a little fuzzy, but the rubbing was helping a little bit, so I darted over a bit so I would be above the sand, and not the water like I was right then, and hovered for a bit. This took a lot of mental preparation for me; falling is maybe my biggest fear, and it's that way because of a dream I had when I was little... So even though it was a dream, I still felt scared and in danger. I had my hands balled into fists, so I decided that the signal to fall would be un-clenching my hands and spreading my fingers... but the dream destabilized again and I woke up.
    2. Creepy Hick Dream...

      by , 08-25-2014 at 05:24 AM (The Kestrel's Dreams)
      August 24, 2014


      I had a dream on Friday night and remembered it, but didn't write it down when I woke up in the night. I'd forgotten it by the time I woke up again for reals. There might have been something about Zukin (would make sense, we were cuddling after all) and the woods.



      On Saturday, Zukin and I got up to some supernatural shenanigans and then she showed me something really thought provoking but creepy right before bed (And Salad Fingers.... nightmare fuel) so I had trouble falling asleep. When I did finally sleep, the only dream I remember having was this:

      Find the Hick

      All the dream was, was scenes flashing around. First, there was a corn field, and a man in jean overalls and a crooked straw hat (The Hick) was standing between the stalks, just staring at me. Then The Hick was in a grassy field, staring at me from behind a large tree. Then The Hick was on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, still staring at me. There were other scenes, and they all had The Hick, just standing there, still and silent, staring at me. They were all dark, too. It must have been night time with a full moon because I could see him pretty clearly; but he was always too far away for me to see his features...
    3. First WILD Success!

      by , 08-20-2014 at 03:56 AM (The Kestrel's Dreams)
      August 19, 2014


      So, I didn't remember much of anything while I was on the train home from Utah...

      But last night, I had an interesting dream:



      I was with my mentor teacher for the fall, and we were getting ready to give a math assessment to the students. It was a weird class, because the students were all varying age groups; two of the 3rd graders I taught over the summer were there, and there were some Kindergarten-aged students, and one 6th grader. I had just finished giving the test to a random student (the tests were all either in a little closet thing or out on a hill in a desert-like place) and was calling one of the students from this summer, T, into the closet. I didn't have all the materials, though, and told him I'd be right back. I went out the door, to my right, and down a hall. There was a door at the end of the hall, and I opened it, going outside. To my immediate right was a chest-height table with some papers and materials on it. I grabbed the stuff from the table (for some reason there was a tree right behind the table, and the branches hung low over it, so I had to brush them away in order to get the papers) and headed back to the room. T finished his test, and I gave him the prize (they all got a present when they finished): a book. It was thick. I told him, "Now, don't you want to challenge yourself with this book?"

      Then I got back to the classroom, and my mentor teacher and I talked about whether the other 3rd grader from this summer, J, would hit puberty this year or not. I drew a beard on his face to see what it would look like.





      I woke up after this dream; it was only like 3-ish in the morning. I rolled over, and decided to try to WILD again (I've been attempting it for the past few nights).

      I closed my eyes, relaxed my body and my breathing, and envisioned walking along a mountain ridge...



      Kittens and Platypuses

      It wasn't long before I had started dreaming; I wasn't aware of that fact, though. I was simply walking along this beautiful mountain ridge; the Big City was to my left, and the sky was blue with a few wispy clouds. I had the impression that I was supposed to be doing something, and then I saw a man in colorful clothing; I realized it was the Face, and looked down at my hands: I was dreaming!

      I walked up to him, remmbering the TOTMs, and asked, "Where's Howl's castle right now?"

      He simply grinned, pointed ahead of him (which was to my right, over the mountains), and I grinned right back at him. I jumped off the ridge and started flying in the direction he'd pointed. I passed a few landmarks I recognized from my dream map (an aspen forest and a small hut).

      Then I heard the familiar sound of Howl's Castle (that clip starts with the sound) and descended to where I then spotted it. I banged on the door, and yelled, "Sophie, are you home?!"

      After a few seconds, the door opened, but it was Zukin inside the castle, not Sophie. Oh well, that worked just fine.

      I went inside and looekd around; the room was different than it is in the movie, but I spotted a fireplace to the left, and approached it. "Calcipher?" I asked, and the flame blinked at me.

      "Yeah, what's it to you?"
      "Is Sophie home?"
      "No, she's out learning to fish with Howl. Romantic, isn't it?"
      I grinned. "Oh. Well, can you tell me a word in a different language?" I asked, suddenly remembering the other task.
      Calcipher flickered a bit and at first didn't say anything. For a moment I thought I might be losing control, because things started to fizzle out a bit, so I touched the hearth, rubbing my hands along it. I thought about putting my hand in the fire, but I figured that would be rude to Calcipher.
      He finally answered: "Berzzit."

      "Berwhat? Can you spell that?"
      "B-E-R-Z-Z-I-T."
      "Oh. Berzzit. What does that mean?"
      "It means when you wake up and are so groggy that you walk into the doorframe on your way out of your room." Oddly specific, there.
      "Huh."

      I turned from Calcipher and looked around the room again. The door through which I'd come was closed again, and Zukin had disappeared. I went to the door, and opened it: Still mountains, where I'd entered. I closed it again, and looked at the dial. I knew what everything was supposed to look like because I've seen the movie so many times, and so I knew what to expect. There were five colors though, instead of four, on the dial. It was currently on green. There was also a black, blue, yellow and orange. Naturally I turned it to the orange.

      I put my hand on the door handle, closed my eyes, took a breath, not knowing what to expect on the other side. I hoped it was be cool... I opened the door, and opened my eyes.

      Boy was it cool. I stepped out into a small clearing in a forest of pines. I turned around to look at where the door was. I was expecting to see a small hut of some sort, but the door just stood on it's own.

      I turned back to the clearing, and noticed there were kittens and platypuses all over the place. The Face was also there; he was sitting in the grass, playing with a kitten. "Where are we?" I asked, sitting next to him. He didn't respond, only played with the kitten some more. I picked up the nearest platypus to me, and held it in my lap. I got so distracted with playing with the animals that
      I lost lucidity and mindlessly frolicked in the clearing with the Face. There may have been other activity beginning with an F, but I can't remember too well.
    4. Busing // Birch Forest

      by , 07-23-2014 at 05:13 AM (The Kestrel's Dreams)
      July 22, 2014



      Busing

      I was at the Elementary school again, and it was time to get the kids on their buses at the end of the school day... except the kids were putting us on buses. One of the little girls in my class of rising 3rd graders for math was putting me on my bus, but I couldn't remember which bus I was supposed to get on. She didn't know either, and decided to just leave me all alone. It started raining really hard, and I ran underneath a structure on the playground. I found Q, A and E there, and asked them which bus I was supposed to get on. Well, more specifically, I asked "which bus does L get on? I'm on the same one."

      Q hid behind A and said something like "how am I supposed to know?"

      Then E said, "It's raining :D," and sat down on a bench under the structure. She crossed her legs, and said, "It's good because I'm left-footed."

      (Don't ask me how that's supposed to make sense...)





      (I screwed myself by taking a 4-hour nap today. It was so nice to sleep, but now it's past when I should be in bed, and I'm wide awake D: anyways, it was a mostly-dreamless sleep, except for this fragment)

      Birch Forest

      All I remember is being in a beautiful, sunny birch forest. I just stood there and looked. I may have sat down in the grass; there was something soft underneath me, I know that. It was so peaceful. I wouldn't mind going back there tonight.

      Updated 07-23-2014 at 05:54 AM by 69491

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    5. Birds, Dogs, Fireworks, Golf-Carts and Drain-O

      by , 06-12-2014 at 04:34 AM (The Kestrel's Dreams)
      June 11




      Fragment: Killing Three Birds

      I was in my neighbor's back yard, except it was thickly wooded, with two guys. I think I had a crush on one of them (but I don't remember much else about them). The other guy kept shooting endangered birds... I told him to stop, but he killed another; three total. He said it was so we could eat have a whole bird for dinner that night. A ranger came by and the guy hid the birds. Then we left.



      Fragment: Shooting Stars and Fireworks

      I was with Kristin and her boyfriend in my driveway at night. There was going to be a fireworks show in the neighborhood, so we were getting ready to watch. As we looked up, Kristin saw a shooting star. I looked up, and there was this huge fireball shooting star.



      When Are You Due?

      I was with Zukin in the back room of my Oma's house, where the kids usually play. She had this little contraption with her, that would act as a baby, or something. It was a project for school; she had to take care of it for a month. I helped her watch it and take care of it; I was feeding it in my dream (how one feeds a small bean-shaped ball of metal/plastic, I know not), and burping it. At the end of a month, a little age meter on the side of it would read one-year-old.

      For some reason, we had to leave Oma's really quickly, and Josh was there to drive us to my house. Except when we got to my house, something was wrong, and so he drove us along the path through the "park" behind my house, and when it went through the woods, he went off the path, downhill. I remember thinking, Oh dear lord! and clutching the side of the vehicle. It was a sort of dune-buggy type thing, and I was sitting in the back seat to the right, while Zukin was sitting behind me, facing backwards (like in a golf cart. Actually, maybe we were in a golf cart. It's a little fuzzy). Josh hit a small bump and Zukin nearly fell out, so I offered for her to come sit with me. She says, "Oh my Bhuda, thanks," and instead of sitting next to me, she sits on my lap.

      I'm still holding the "baby" contraption, and we pass a family who is having a picnic in the woods behind their own house. They say hello nicely, and so we stop for a moment to say hello back, and the mother sees the "baby" and asks me, "Oh, when are you due?" With a cheerful smile.

      "Uh. In a month?" I was confused my the question; apparently they gave those contraptions to all women who were pregnant with their first baby, too? She thought I was pregnant. We left then, and Josh was worried that those people were going to call the police because we were driving a golf-cart-thing through their property, but I said, "Don't worry, these are all nice people. Besides the woods have always basically been free for all to use."



      Adultery and Burning Dogs

      I was a married man living in one of those cookie-cutter homes in a development. It was winter. I was having an affair with the neighbor's wife, and neither of our spouses knew about it. As far as they were aware, we just spoke friendly with each other like good neighbors should.

      One night, I was in bed with my wife, and she was fast asleep. I was wide awake, and wanted to be with my neighbor, so I snuck out of the house through the front door. I had my PJs on still, but had put on a pair of nice dress shoes because I didn't want my feet to get cold. I was careful to be as quiet as I could be, but the snow was unbearably loud. Every step I took was about 10-times louder than it should have been; I was afraid my wife was going to wake up, so I tried to hurry to the neighbor's driveway, which was much better plowed than ours was...

      I was almost there when I saw a light turn on inside, and my only thought was "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT." I hurried around a corner, and just as I was turning it, I saw out of the corner of my eyes the door opening and my wife looking out, spotting me, and getting that crazed look on her face.

      The feeling that overwhelmed me is really hard for me to describe. It was the kind of feeling you get when you get caught while in the act of doing something bad, and still run away as fast as you can but as quietly as you can. Maybe it was more like the feeling when you're playing a game of hide and seek with your friends, and you know they're almost done counting even though you haven't found a good spot, and so you panic and rush and do silly things, all while trying not to let the seeker hear your distress; that excited but frantic feeling. It's like... I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say to justify my being about to enter the neighbor's house (when my wife and I both knew that our neighbor's husband was out of town on a business trip for another day and a half).

      Rather than going inside the neighbor's house, I run around in a roundabout way to confuse my wife as she followed my footprints in the snow, all the while avoiding the dog, who was sleeping right outside the door, and then got cornered and crouched behind a bush. It wasn't a very good hiding spot because the pine needles of the bush were thinly distributed. I could see beyond it just as well as my wife would be able to see me if she looked; and I knew she was looking. It's dark, maybe she won't actually be able to see me... but just as I thought that, the moon came out from behind a cloud and my wife looked right at me. She walked toward me menacingly. I noticed for the first time that she held something red in her hand; a grill lighter. I was freaking out that she was going to set fire to our neighbor's house (I guess she was a bit of a nutter even before I had the affair. Maybe that's what made me cheat on her in the first place. Who knows)...

      But she looked at me, and then at the dog, and then back at me. She grinned evilly, crazily, and bent down to set fire to the dog. She held the lighter out in three different spots, the way you would light a fire; cover more area. Amazingly, the dog didn't wake up until its fur was already catching. I ran out of the bush to try to pat the dog out, and my wife laughed and then went back into our own home. The dog was whimpering and I finally managed to get the fire out, leaving the poor thing with only minor burns. I opened the front door to my neighbor's house went inside with the dog, and got it some water before heading to the bedroom. I knew where it was because I'd been there many times before. When she heard me approaching, and called out, "Honey, is that you? What are you doing back so early? I thought you'd be out for another day or so?" And then she came out of the bedroom, saw me in my messy PJs, the dog with her burn marks, and my slightly dazed expression. "What happened?" She asked, walking toward me.

      Then I woke up.



      Fragment: Drain-O

      I was volunteering at an elementary school with Zukin, and there was some sort of sickness going around. It was deadly, and all the kids had it, and the teachers were catching it as well. For SOME reason, the cure to this sickness was a hat I had on; it was a bright orange ball-cap, and if I wore it, I was immune to the sickness and anyone who looked at me would be cured. Dream logic FTW.

      But the hat got ruined somehow (I don't remember how; it may have already been ruined when the dream started), and Zukin and I were trying to fix it. Eventually we did fix it, but Zukin had clogged the drain in the sink somehow, and it was like new again, and I put it on. It looked normal on me, but when Zukin tried to wear it, it turned into this floppy green thing with white lace hanging over her ears and part of her forehead. So I put it back on, and we called the Kindergarten teacher into his office, where we'd been working. "We got the Cure-Hat fixed! But the sink got clogged."

      "No worried, I have Drain-O." The teacher (who was attractive in that way 50-yr old men can sometimes be) took a tiny bottle of Drain-O out of his pocket (why he had it, no one knows) and put a few drops into the sink, which had water all the way up to the brim. Those few drops were somehow enough, and it instantly started to drain. The Drain-O smelled EXACTLY like liquid NyQuil.
    6. Building Bridges

      by , 06-04-2014 at 06:11 AM (The Kestrel's Dreams)
      March 17, 2014




      My family and I were on a long road trip; I can't remember where we were headed, though. I only really remember one part of this dream; we were driving through a wooded area in the mountains, and suddenly the road lead us to a bridge that had broken away years ago. We were stumped for a while, but we found a pile of good lumber nearby; it looked like people had been getting ready to rebuild the bridge but has suddenly stopped, leaving all the lumber there years ago. It was old lumber, gray, but still good and strong.

      So we rebuilt the bridge. Bob, Erik and I did the work while mom and dad tried to find people or a place to stay for the night in case we didn't finish in time.

      The scenery was really vivid, but hard for me to describe;
      it was wooded mountains (it reminded me of Mirkwood forest from the Hobbit) like I said before, but at the same time it was also a bit like a desert mountain with lots of spikes of red rock and arches under which the road wound.