The Kestrel's Dreams

November 26, 2014

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I was inside some sort of video game, and I was completing a quest. But this was my second time doing the quest; I was on a dummy save file and was only getting the reward from the quest so I could send it to my main save file.

So, I was doing this quest so fast that NPCs thought I was some sort of God. I skipped a few steps too. Toward the end of the quest, I was talking with a few make NPCs who, the first time I'd played the game, had given my false information. You were supposed to go to that location and do some side quest in order to find out the NPCs had been mistaken, and I actually had to go to the Bell Tower. So when they told me what I was looking for was in some other location, I told them, "Nah I already know where to go. It's at the Bell Tower."

And they followed me to the bell tower to see if I was right. When I was, they were amazed and asked me how I knew all this. I ignored them and went to the next part of my quest: I had to climb this big ladder to get the final piece of the puzzle. But the wrongs were coated in something deadly to me, and so I had to go around asking NPCs for their shirts, so I could put the shirts on the wrongs so they wouldn't touch my skin when I climbed.

I got the last piece, and took it to this room that, now that I think about it, felt a LOT like a room in another dream from long ago... Anyways, I had to climb another ladder that was leaning against nothing. It was also super tall and went just within reach of a trap-door in the fielding of the room. I had to climb the ladder without it falling and attach the final piece to the trapdoor so that I could open it, to get into a glass dome at the top of the world with the reward in it. I remember that it was a little terrifying to be on the ladder even though it was the second time I'd done it.

I woke up when I picked up the quest reward.

July 04, 2014

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Animal Crossing

I was playing my Animal Crossing: New Leaf game, except I was in the game. I kept changing my clothes because I couldn't figure out what to wear that day.




Penises and FUCK THIS SHIT

I was at a fancy party with Zukin. It was on the roof of a really tall building, and we were all dressed up super sexy and elegant and whatnot. We were walking around, and I looked around, watching the faces... I had a target at this party.

I was secretly an agent. I was an assassin, to be precise. My target was a man at this party, and Zukin didn't know I was a spy... I saw the man I was to kill, and mentioned to Zukin that I wanted to go eat some pineapples. She looked at me, followed my eyes, and nodded eagerly. We went to the buffet and grabbed a plate of pineapples, and then walked over to my target.

"Care for some pineapples?" I asked him.

He nodded, and took a piece from the plate. We all walked around for about half an hour, chatting. We all became such good pals that he invited us to go someplace with him after the party. We agreed. I was thinking how easy this would be.

We walked past a giant fountain, and I slipped a bit, falling into his arms. He made sure I was alright and stood me back up, pulling some hair from in front of my face, tucking it back behind my ear. I smiled up at him, and we all kept walking.

We decided to pause for a bit, and I sat with Zukin in a little window-seat type thing. Even though we were on the roof, there was a wall on one edge, along which we sat. Then all hell broke loose; There was a siren of sorts, and an announcement that we all had to leave, because the party was over. Zukin and I stood up and got swept away by the crowd; I could see my target behind us, keeping his eyes on us so as not to loose us.

We filed down the stairs and into a wide, tall hallway. We ducked into a little cut-out where the girl's bathroom door was. Zukin said she had to pee, and so I waited outside while she was inside the one-person restroom. I also kept my eyes open for my target, hoping to catch him as he left and remind him of his offer to us.

Then, I got a call: it was my boss. They told me my target had changed. The man we'd been schmoozing all night was no longer a threat... the new target: Zukin. On the inside, I was screaming "FUCK YOU BASTARDS." But I said, "understood."

I knocked on the door. "Is it safe to come in, Zukin?"
"Yeah, just washing my hands now."
I opened the door and slid in without making much sound.
"Zukin."
"Yeah?" She was drying her hands.

I told her I was a spy, and that my new target was her. She stared at me.
"So this is what we're gonna do," I said.
After I explained the plan to her, she was so psyched.

We got in some kind of badass flying machine, headed for the Headquarters of my spy organization. I pulled a pistol out of a strap at my thigh, and handed it to Zukin. We busted through the doors of HQ, holding out the guns and shouting.

Then my watch beeped. In the middle of busting up HQ, I did a reality check, realized I was dreaming, and also how absurd it all was.

I decided that, since I was dreaming, and I already had this big-ass gun, I would continue to wreck shit up with Zukin. I let off a few rounds into the air, shouting and running around. Zukin was bashing someone's head into a table.

I wondered if this counted toward the bonus task for the month, but didn't dwell on it for very long, since I was busy spray-painting the walls with penises and things like "FUCK THIS SHIT" and your mother jokes.