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    1. #227: Muslim language / Kiss

      by , 12-16-2016 at 03:15 AM
      I waited just a little bit too long with writing this one down. There was something that preceded this moment.

      Muslim language
      I'm walking inside a building with a Dutch guy I just met. The building has been designed as spaciously as a public building. I feel like we're walking on the 2nd floor, due to seeing a balustrade. The floor (and perhaps some other elements) is alternating shades of blue. The Dutch guy and I are talking in Dutch about what I'm doing. I'm telling him what I studied and how it is that I ended up in Indonesia.

      I'm now sitting at a table with 3 other people. My back is to the wall. On my right is my friend Alif. On the other side of the table are 2 people I can't identify. Further to my right is a door, leading to a room where some guys are discussing some matters. We're eating cake which is mostly orange coloured. Different sections of the cake have a different word on them. We're supposed to eat the corresponding section to properly answer a question. At some point the girl sitting diagonally to me eats a section that says "Muslim(s)" as an answer to a question that starts with "which language." It makes me nearly spit out my piece, as it's both horribly stupid and slightly inappropriate. There are more people to my left who want to have some of the cake. They're part of our group.


      Kiss
      I'm with a bunch of friends, sitting at a large table. The time has come to say bye to some people. We give each other pecks on the cheek and other normal greetings. There's one girl I made out with slightly earlier. When it's time to say bye, she gives me some pecks on the cheek, but I decide to just give her another full kiss. Ok, that was slightly embarrassing and perhaps inappropriate. I think she is into my friend and may have kissed him earlier.
      Tags: dutch, friend
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. #206: Politics

      by , 09-07-2016 at 04:26 AM
      I'm in one room together with my mom and Len, a Dutch friend. My mom is seated on a chair close to a wall. My friend is also seated on a chair. I'm either seated or standing up. I remember there being a window, showing daylight. My mom is talking on the phone in Dutch. I'm talking to my friend. I don't recall how, but we've come to the topic of politics. He asks me for my opinion on a specific aspect of the democratic system. I don't remember the exact question. I explain that I think that direct democracy was probably the best system in the days of the old Greeks, but that right now it can't work. I'm also not satisfied with the current system though. We end up discussing 18th - 19th century philosophers. My mom gets off the phone for a few seconds to say something. Mid sentence I say something like "yes mother, go ahead". I remember being satisfied with my ability to transition that smoothly. I don't remember if I was satisfied switching topics/attention so smoothly or switching languages. My mom says something like that she hopes I won't be discussing this all the time with her. I tell her that I will be on Flores, so not to worry. I focus on my friend again. I tell him that I've never been good at remembering what each philosopher was about. He tells me it's easy for him to remember.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. #204: Row row row your boat...

      by , 09-05-2016 at 07:08 AM
      Im with my friends Sil and San. Were going through an area that is either flooded or that is supposed to be a river. I look at a map on my phone (Google Maps?). Weve still got quite a distance to cover. It doesnt fully register with me in my dream, but we have several countries to cover. The map is nowhere near reality. I think we're near Italy and we're trying to get to the Netherlands, which is to the south-east on the map. There are two small islands in front of the coastline, near Haarlem. Wauw. Very accurate map.

      Sil and I are sharing an inflatable boat, which doesn't seem that suited to hold 2 persons. I'm not sure anymore what San was doing. Swimming? I've got my backpack with me, with my phone in it. I'm quite afraid that the phone is gonna get drowned, cause this boat really is not dependable. We try to work something out with what little plastic bags we have. Again: not very dependable. At one point my phone does get soaked, but it is still functioning.

      Some time later on, we're running. It seems to be the hash. Sil is ahead of me. We end up inside a house, with my family. Someone tells me that Sil is attempting to fix the phone through applying heat to it. Shit, no, she's gonna fry the inside! I run over before she destroys my phone. I realise then that I still have my phone, so which phone is she fixing? I take a look. I don't know which phone it is, but it seems both ruined and ok at the same time. There's melted plastic stuck to the outside. At this point my family starts speaking in Dutch about Sil, which she doesn't understand. They're tired of her stupidity. It's my mom, aunt, uncle and I think my little brother. I listen for a moment and then my uncle points out that I have an annoyed look on my face, probably cause I'm into her. I tell them that she's a friend and very kind, she's just clumsy. So I don't like that they are talking negatively about her. They agree to stop their conversation.
      Tags: dutch, family, friend, hash
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. #200: Hash

      by , 08-27-2016 at 02:10 AM
      I'm in the middle of joining a hash event. I think we're outside and it's definitely already dark. There's quite a number of people. At some point someone starts leading the event and becomes the centre of attention. He decides that tonight (or just for now), we're gonna figuratively piss on one of the guys. I don't remember his exact phrasing, but he did mention that the guy was gay. This makes me uncomfortable. We always make fun of each other, but to really put attention on this guy's sexual orientation makes it feel to me as if we're picking on him cause of that.

      Not sure anymore what happened in the mean time, but the gay guy isn't wearing a shirt anymore. He either asked me where I'm from, or he already could tell I was Dutch. We continue talking in Dutch. He's got a blue marker and he's asked me to draw something on his back. Are you kidding me? Why don't I have anything to draw right now?! And why don't I have any drawing skills?! Another guy takes over and on pretty much the entire left part of his back, he draws a massive dick. He puts attention to getting some details in, veins and what not.
      Tags: dutch, hash
      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. #195: Beach / FA

      by , 08-22-2016 at 05:11 AM
      Just a fragment of what happened. Im at a mall I believe. Im in a different city in Indonesia. Im with the motorcycle, outside and with two female Indonesian friends. One of them is on the back of my motor, the other is driving a different motor. We drive whats supposed to be an hour to the beach Pangandaran, but taking mere seconds. We dont have that much time so we just take a quick look, not even getting of our motors and making a u turn. I remember there being something to the right that I wanted to explore, but at that moment I already couldnt remember what it was, so I just let it go. On the beach are two of my friendu. There is quite some fog, but there is something spectacular to see, though I cant recall what exactly. On the way back I see my friend that was riding with me from the back. Shes wearing a blue/green hijab. She looks pretty.

      Had a FA where I was sitting at a table with an Indonesian and an American friend. My Indonesian friend had her Macbook out, so I decided to take it for a moment to take notes of the previous dream in Dutch. I did it in Dutch on purpose so that no one would understand. There were some key phrases that allowed my American friend to properly guess the story line.
    6. #188: Longest lucid so far

      by , 08-05-2016 at 02:38 AM
      Went to bed around 1am, woke up around 6am, stayed awake for a little bit and then went to sleep. Woke up again, fell asleep again shortly after.

      I'm driving my motorbike around in Indonesia. It appears to be the city that I live in, though the architectural influences are definitely more Chinese (from the one building that I remember seeing). It was a traditionally red building. It had something written on the side, I think the name of the citizen, along with Barat [Indonesian for West]. I assume it to be the city hall for the western district of the city. I'm driving with a guy following me on his bike. I want to make a u-turn at one intersection, but I need to wait because the king of the Netherlands will pass shortly. I consider passing anyway, since traffic rules in Indonesia rarely apply, but I decide to wait. A guy comes by on some kind of shove cart, with another guy on it. This seems too low budget for the king. Both guys appear to have tanned skin and the king of the Netherlands is white.

      I spot a white girl close to a wall. I instantly recognise her as a girl from my bachelor study, though her characteristic curly hair is now straightened. I start walking up to her and the moment she sees me she kinda goes "ugh". I start talking to her in Dutch. I tell her that she probably thinks I'm one of these foreigner hunting Indonesians [that's actually a thing], but that I recognise her from our studies. She asks me what that might be. I hesitate for a moment, pretending to think and then tell her the name of our bachelor. This opens her up a bit more and I think we talk.

      Eventually we're walking with another white guy. He's sort of her mentor. He has brown hair, average length for a guy and perhaps glasses. I think he talks with a southern accent, Belgian even. He talks softly though, so I can't understand all that he's saying. The girl is walking to my left and he is even further left. At one point I switch places with the girl so that I can hear him better. He's talking about something intellectual. A fourth person joins us, a guy. Either that person or the girl starts signalling someone. I look and see that someone is going to use a pipe and blow darts to shoot the guy. I move to the right, out of harms way. The person doing the shooting is standing in plain sight a few metres away. I can see the trajectory of the darts. Miss. Miss. Miss. So many misses. At one point the person is standing so close that it's basically execution style and starts hitting the guy in the shoulder. After a while the guy with the darts just discards the pipe and starts spitting out darts with force, the way some people spit watermelon seeds. No way! Next thing my friend Veb is in a white cabrio that's parked and starts doing the same. Then they start shooting it from their fingers. I move in to punch Veb on the head from behind, but I miss. He looks at me and I know I'm fucked. I duck.


      It's at this moment that I decide that I must be dreaming. I try and succeed to push my finger through my palm, giving off a slight sensation. I'm in the living room of my mom's house. The order of things is a bit blurry. Throughout the lucid I keep performing the same RC to stabilise myself, as well as looking at my hands. My little brother is present and he is annoying me. He's distracting me by making noise, making me fear to loose the lucid. At some point I decide to take some pictures of him while he's getting dressed and threaten to upload them to... idk. The television in the living room is also distracting me. It's showing Spongebob. I tell the tv to turn off, perhaps making a hand gesture as well. It does so. Sweet. I also shout several times that this is my dream and I want it to be stable, and similar commands. I think it actually worked for a bit. I think I shouted it in English, though perhaps also in Dutch. I wonder about what my real body is doing, but I decide fuck it if I'm screaming in reality too, though I'm probably not. I really shouted my commands the way a high rank in the military would. Loud and not even considering that they might not be adhered to. My mom comes into the living room and starts brushing her teeth, which makes quite a lot of noise. I first want her to stop, as I want to focus on creating a waterball, which is difficult cause I have no clue how to. I decide to take a different approach. I put my index and middle fingers to my temples and will myself to teleport. I can't really think of any place, so I just teleport to just outside the front door. It worked. The dream scenery isn't complete though. There are parts missing, kinda similar to when you go towards the edge too fast in a sandbox game and the game needs to load the rest of the map. I realise I just completed one of my dream goals by teleporting. I'm also probably lucid for longer than a minute by now, finally. I teleport once more, now down to the street. I don't know why, considering that the dream was already incomplete. It's here that I really start slipping away and eventually wake up. I performed the RC several times to check.
      Categories
      lucid
    7. #182: Yet another short lucid.. / Shoes & Africans / Water money

      by , 07-22-2016 at 03:18 AM
      Went to bed around 1am, woke up from my alarm at 6am, stayed awake till 7am and then went back to sleep.

      Yet another short lucid..
      Im in my friend Fays dormitory, in her room [which is much smaller than her real room]. Were in her bed together, trying to sleep. Its a single bed, so were cozied up together. For the most part, I'm facing away from her, and she is hugging my back. After a while I consider this to be odd. Not in a dreamlike sense, but in a 'this is morally wrong' sense, considering that we're both in a relationship and are friends with each other's partners. There are some holes in my memory of the dream. At one point I'm completely nude, just because it is so hot. I feel like she wasn't able to see it anyway, so it didn't matter much. Some time later I put on my blue/white boxers with a red waistband. At yet another moment we're facing each other. She laughs at me 'pretending' to have been sleeping. She's talking in English. There's a point where it just becomes so weird to me that I feel the need to RC. I'm sure now that I managed to push my finger through my palm, but at that moment my view was obstructed, so I wasn't sure. At a later moment in time I have severe difficulties opening my eyes. I know this feeling. It's happened to me before in dreams! It takes me forever to open my eyes. I think it's at this point that my friend is becoming touchy. I resist at first, but as I'm becoming more confident that I'm in a dream I let up. Finally I decide to perform another RC. My finger goes through my palm and I can see it clearly this time. There is no weird sensation though, like there sometimes is. It also took a lot of effort to push my finger through, as if my skin was resisting it. I move my finger around in my palm for a bit. Then I get slightly excited and think about what I want to do. I get up from the bed. There's 2 things on my mind: I want to teleport a friend in here and I literally said something along the lines of "Sweet, now let's make that fireball eh waterball," in Dutch. I go for the waterball. I think to myself for a moment whether I shouldn't take the time to stabilise first. Ah nah, screw that. Ok so how do I make a waterball? I improvise. I put my right hand up in the air, forming it in a half circle. With my left hand I start pushing into this circle, as if I'm trying to move something (water) into it. I can hear a dog bark. Neighbour's dog. Fuck. It's destabilising me. I'm trying to focus and to remain stable, but I wake up. I perform a RC. This is not a FA. The neighbour's dog is really barking.. for just a few seconds.

      I definitely need to read up on stabilisation again, considering how many lucids I've had lately and how quickly they always end.

      Shoes & Africans
      I'm in the room of my dormitory. There are some shoes on the desk that I never use. Including some women's shoes. They're all black or another dark colour. I take them outside with me. I put on one of my own shoes, the black ones. Only on the right foot though. I think I'm wearing white socks. I walk downstairs with the other shoes still in my hand. There's a large gathering of African students downstairs. The hall is much bigger than it is in reality. If I had known that there would be people around, I wouldn't have made a fool of myself by wearing only one shoe. Also, there's this many Africans here? I would've loved to know this earlier. There are a lot of people here I don't know though. I should lock my room. I think I hear some talk in English. That's all I remember.

      Water money
      I'm at the dormitory again. This time there are just a few people, including our non-English speaking guard. Someone makes a joke that since we [the tenants] are paying for drinking water and the guard is also using it, he should also pay. He tells him in English. I ask the guard in Indonesian if he understood, ready to translate if necessary. He tells me he did. He'll get his money. I think it's kind of mean, considering how little he earns from this job.
      Categories
      lucid
    8. #131: Pee

      by , 04-23-2016 at 07:13 AM
      I'm in Indonesia, somewhere in the nature, a jungle area. Something tells me that this is Pangandaran. I'm driving a moped with my girlfriend on the back. We're going back to.. a building or something? I don't know. A bit of a starting base. En route we pass my friend Sander, who is going in the opposite direction. I shout out to him. He's taking a mudtrail straight ahead. There's also a semi-trail a bit to the right. It's a more interesting location I think. I thought about turning around and following him, but I don't.

      My girlfriend and I are at the 'building'. I don't even really remember a building. I guess it's more of a resting area. At some point my cousin and her husband show up, along with their 3 kids. Suddenly I'm standing in the bathroom in my mom's kitchen, brushing my teeth. I exit to greet them while they walk through the hallway. My cousin's husband is first. Awkward handshake cause he's holding the baby. I'm not sure if we talk about motorcycles or that that happened in a later dream.

      I'm inside a building now with some people, including a few of my best friends. I'm sitting on a chair. A few people enter, including a blonde girl. She is somehow pretty and ugly at the same time, making her interesting. I think it's a shop we're in. The shop owner at the back wants them to speak in Indonesian, just as a friendly joke. The girl asks for help from us. I ask her in English what she wants to say. Somewhere early on I figure out she's Dutch, but still we talk in English for a bit more.

      A bit later on she decides to sit on my lap. My girlfriend is in this time room, so I wonder for a moment how this is going to go down. After a few seconds I realise she is in fact sitting on the lap of the woman to my left and her feet are on my legs. Her feet.. while she's wearing dirty shoes with some mud still stuck to the bottom. I think "takroe maniri" to myself [rude manners in Surinam]. I don't say anything for some reason. The woman on who's lap she is sitting does. She changes position so that she is still resting her legs on me, but not her feet, something like that.

      There's a big brown, old-looking bookcase. For some reason it's been decided that this is the ok place to pee, so I do so. The blonde girl is looking at me from an angle where I'm sure that she can see quite a bit. First I make an effort to conceal myself, but then I think 'fuck it'. Later on I go there to pee again. Somehow my aim is bad and I manage to splash myself. I can feel the warmth of the pee dripping in my pants. My hands are also wet. I dry them on a towel to my left. I'm feeling quite uncomfortable.


      I woke up immediately and went to the toilet shortly after. I couldn't fall asleep for another hour at least. In the beginning I felt very uncomfortable as I couldn't shake the feeling of having peed my pants, even though that didn't really happen. After that I had a load of short dreams about a lot of different things.
    9. #82: Kaki lima / FA

      by , 02-01-2016 at 09:04 AM
      I went to bed around 00:15, woke up around 08:30 and it's now 08:45. I had more dreams, but I don't wanna spend a full hour writing it all down.

      Kaki lima
      It's almost midnight. My friend has parked his car in such a way that it's a major hindrance in case anyone would want to pass. As my friend is busy, I'm the one who has to take care of it. First I go inside a house though. The storyline changes and it's now my cousin's kaki lima [Indonesian mobile food vendor]. My cousin comes up the stairs, just as I'm about to head out. He tells me that his kaki lima already has a wheel clamp on it from the police. I tell my cousin that I think he's joking and he assures me he's not. Crap, well I guess since I was supposed to take care of it I'll just pay the 30ish to get it removed. He then says he was joking.

      Standing outside, I pack up the stuff from the kaki lima. I white man, perhaps in his late thirties comes up to me. He immediately starts talking in Dutch and wants to order. I wonder how he knew that he could talk in Dutch with me. I tell him that we're closing up and that he can't order anymore. He keeps insisting and eventually my cousin relents, seeing the opportunity to get some money. The man orders noodles and I think a load of vegetables. Since my cousin doesn't have that, he asks another vendor for help, whose kaki lima is standing just in front of his. My cousin has now turned into one of my friends, who is trying to learn German. He starts talking in broken German to one of the two guys manning the other kaki lima, asking to make some noodles. Since I'm afraid the Dutch guy will understand German, I talk in Indonesian, but I don't remember what I say. One guy mentions [I forgot in which language] that someone should think of something, cause all he's got is regular cheap Indomie and he needs to find a way to make the Dutch guy think it's worth the money he's gonna pay.


      FA
      Had a FA where I took notes on my phone from one of my dreams. Either while taking notes or just after, I really woke up.
    10. #72: Class / FA

      by , 01-20-2016 at 09:26 AM
      I went to bed between 23:30 and 00:00. I woke up around 08:00. It's now 09:00. I wrote down some keywords for every dream.

      Class
      I'm sitting in a well-lit classroom, not very big. The lecturer standing in front of the class is my thesis supervisor. There are quite a number of people, though I can only recall 3 of them specifically. I think the class was conducted in English at first, but Kristen switches over to Dutch to talk about a specific issue that concerns only 4 of the people in this room, including me. One of the people who it concerns doesn't speak Dutch though. Kristen rambles on for a while and asks the opinion of the other 2 Dutch speakers involved (i.e. me as well). I briefly give my opinion and then state that this discussion might best be saved for later. I look at my supervisor and I see a small sign of approval. I say something to the person seated to the right of me. Something about that Kristen probably is insecure and that's the reason she is like this. I can hear the other Dutch person saying the same thing.

      FA

      I'm not sure where I am. I am holding my phone in my hands. I'm on whatsapp, talking to a classmate. I tell her that I had a dream and now I need to type it out to not look like an idiot. Damnit I don't wanna type it all out. I can't just give keywords either, cause then she won't understand.

      Fragments
      Something about me scanning banana's the way you would do in the supermarket...

      I'm in the same classroom again. I'm sitting somewhere on the left side. It's my birthday and people start to sing for me. Someone poors me a very sizeable beer.

      My little brother says something along the lines of "ok yes, sorry, I deal drugs". A bit later on my mom allows him to leave the house. I can't believe he's just allowed to leave and that he's not grounded.

      All I can remember from this one is that I'm talking with my mom in our local language.

      I'm showing an awesome lamp that I own to my classmate. It's a white, battery charged lamp. There are multiple openings to charge it from. I notice a big red switch on it I've never seen before. You have to turn the switch. I do so and the brightness of the lamp changes. Sweet! This is exactly what I had been missing from my lamp. The price of the lamp is pretty high though.
    11. #30: Switcheroo

      by , 11-11-2015 at 08:26 AM
      Switcheroo
      It's daytime, a sunny day. I'm in front of the train station in my mom's city. I'm on my mountain bike and I just arrived. The area isn't completely the same as it should be. There's a wooden wall on the left, something like what's put up to shield off a construction area. There's no bike anymore. I'm walking towards the bike rack together with my friend Abby to the left of me. For a brief moment our hands touch and we both don't seem to mind walking sort of hand in hand, but not fully committed to really doing so. It's kind of a shy version. I think it's Abby who eventually pulls her hand away.

      I'm standing in front of the bike rack, putting my bike away. Now I'm with Jacintha instead. She asks me if I remember how to say something in Indonesian. I think she asks for 'happy birthday'. She gives a suggestion and I react along the lines of 'what? Noo. It's [...]'. It was something very basic. I then start to tell her about the idea I had of meeting up with the whole Dutch - Indonesian group, but that the guy I talked it over with was too busy (this is pretty accurate from reality). We start walking towards the train station.

      I'm in front of the station now, on my bike. One of my best friends is there. He goes into the station first and I follow on my bike. Once I'm inside I have a big pc on wheels with me and no bike. I think Jacintha has been replaced with my ex girlfriend. My best friend and my ex are talking with an elderly woman who approached them. They are talking about Indonesia. Something about a stop-over in France [I automatically assume Paris] and how France is the stopover place for Asian destinations. The elderly woman says something which I can't recall so well. It has something to do with a girl and that girl wanting to go somewhere to a zoo or something alike at the airport. The woman pulls something out of her wallet to demonstrate. I feel like it should be a paper bill, but it didn't look like money, though I didn't get a good look. I don't remember who, but I told someone about my plans to visit my grandma, because she's going away for a few months. I think I told Abby. I made sure to add 'a few months', to not make it seem like she was dying.


      Fragments
      Something about my mom..
      I'm with my girlfriend. I think we're driving around the city on a moped during daytime

      Great fragments
    12. #17: Lecture / Car / Languages / Boring sunset

      by , 10-23-2015 at 09:01 AM
      Non-dream
      Non-lucid
      Lucid

      Dream 1: Lecture
      I'm sitting in a lecture hall. It's one of those classrooms where the rows to the back are way higher than the rows in the front. I think the lecture was already over. There are just a few people left. I myself am somewhere halfway to the back, perhaps a little bit further. I remember a girl sitting a bit further to the back. Also a classmate whom I rarely talk to because I don't care for her too much is there. She asks me how I'm doing with the final assignment. Ow man.. I'm too busy with the exams right now to do the assignment. I walk with her a bit, down the steps. She mentions that the assignment is already due this week Thursday. Wait what?! Isn't it the week after? I'm fucked. I realise that I need to go back to my seat instead of walk out with her, cause I'm barefooted and my shoes are still at my seat. I end up having the attention of the girl in the back for just a split second, while I'm standing in a row that's further to the back than hers. I do a diveroll [parkour move] over a row of seats.

      Dream 2: Car
      It's daytime and I'm sitting in the car, back row to the right. On the left is my girlfriend. The driver's seat is on the left side of the car. Cas, someone who I haven't talked to in years, is driving. In the passenger seat is at one point his ex-girlfriend and at one point a different girl. We are driving to the airport of Jakarta. I've got a sort of comfortable foetal position going on. At one point it feels like I kinda pretend to be asleep, but eventually I actually do fade in and out of sleep [in the dream only, I didn't really wake up]. I think about having to spend 14 hours on the airplane back to Amsterdam. So long... I don't really remember the conversation, if any. At one point we were just there. I do remember being able to look at the girl in front of me as if there was no chair between us. I also remember an oddly shaped part of the car, underneath the dashboard.

      Indonesian cars have a steering wheel on the right. Also, this car [kinda beat up] is definitely not Cas' real life car.

      Dream 3: Languages
      I'm chilling with my housemate and Indonesian classmate, both girls. We're at one point at 'home' [it doesn't resemble our home] and at one point standing in front of it. My housemate has a lot of thick fantasy books, which were left behind by the last person who occupied the room. Nice for her. She has some stuff to use to her liking, or just sell or whatever. We're outside, but it feels like we're just sitting.. on the ground perhaps. My housemate spends about 90% of the time talking in Dutch to me, which I think is mean to my classmate who barely understands Dutch. I try to talk mostly in English. I don't remember my classmate talking at all. My housemate justifies talking in Dutch by saying that there's no need to talk in English if my classmate doesn't participate in the conversation. I explain that it's a vicious cycle that I've experienced myself in Indonesia: because people speak a language you don't understand, you don't participate. Because you don't participate, they continue using a language you don't understand.

      Dream 4: Boring sunset
      I'm in what's supposed to be one of the rooms I lived in during my time in Indonesia, except it's much more luxurious, with a balcony and such. There is ok-ish scenery with a sunset that is supposed to be beautiful, but right now [while writing] I don't think of it as such. I remember I promised to give my friend pictures that I made from my window. There's another guy in the room with me.. and a baby, a boy. I film the baby, who does some funny stuff.