solaetia

Apt # 4 again. I arrived there after being away for a while and found a note from an unknown organization that OF [old friend that I’ve fallen out with] might show up soon. I felt slightly stressed. Went in and cleaned the place up. OF never arrived, but OR [old roommate] did with someone else [mysterious, no face], and OC [old coworker] did with someone else [mysterious, no face]. I felt a little excited to unpack and rearrange, and thought of looking at maps for small towns to move to next. I thought about how my mom had kept renting this apartment for me on the side, even though I hadn’t been living here.
I was at a bar and I held an almost finished glass of water. MB was next to me and grabbed my glass, and I told her it was just water, and that I had a sore throat. I told her I wasn’t drinking alcohol anymore. She laughed and drank the rest anyway, and said, ‘you did drink too much.’
I remember walking down a long desert road, the kind of desert road that is at the foothills of mountains, rolling hills, lush with cactus, and beautiful. I also drove on a beach, close to, but avoiding the waves as they crashed in. The beach was northern and mostly sparse, a few jutting rocks and a few people.
Going back to apt #4, 2 dogs are out on the sidewalk in front, a small one and a larger chocolate colored retriever. The retriever was kind of defensive at first, but I found a nearby toy and deflected his anxiety and he eventually relaxed. He ran inside when I opened the gate. Ex [KT] was in my apt with a dog when I walked up the the door. He was sitting on my couch watching a video I had paused earlier on my little TV. I was angry, asked him what he was doing here. He told me I had planned it and said it would be good for us. I told him we had to cancel, I wasn’t up for it. He left and I regretted not telling him that I want his key back.

Thoughts:
I’m back at this transitional apartment. Should I be afraid? Prepared for some kind of struggle? Am I just comparing my current conditions to this place? I felt more together in this dream, not so angry. I have decided to not drink for a while. Maybe that is what this is all about.