Silence11

Night of November 22, 2020

I was dating this beautiful girl that, for whatever reason, was being shunned by most of her peers. We had arrived at a restaurant, some establishment that belonged to one of her close friends. To my knowledge, we had agreed on the place for me to finally meet them. When we got there however, they took every opportunity to avoid us. I walked over to the bar and noticed she hadn't actually made a reservation. Frustrated, I stormed with her out of the restaurant.

Outside, a light bluish shade had fell upon the row of houses as they stretched along a wintry road in the middle of the night. The moon was uncharacteristically willing tonight, shining the way as I headed down the road. Far in front of me, I noticed a couple holding hands and moving at a brisk pace. It appeared to me they had gotten out of a restaurant only moments ago. I don't know why but I felt compelled to catch up to them. Though I increased the speed I could never reach the pair as they turned left at the corner and disappeared behind a wall. Once I made my way to the end they were long gone.

The street opened up to an avenue with four lanes, spreading out indefinitely into the distance. Adjoining the last lane on the right stood a factory of manufacturing Coca-Cola products. Short stacks of billowing smoke escaped from one of its pipes every once in a while. Apart from the steady swaying of leaves from shrubs and trees alike nearby, everything else remained peacefully quiet. I was very much alone here. I realized now that I had nowhere else to go, no home to arrive to, no bed to sleep on. I considered taking a risk and stay close to any stranger's residence. It'd be only for a night and for a few hours at most. I'd be gone before morning. Before I made my decision, I looked back on the road and it was then that I remembered. I remembered this was a dream. Things were markedly clear now.

I stood there by the sidewalk, staring into space while contemplating this thought, and all of a sudden I blinked and appeared on my bed, watching a video on my phone. It wasn't long, however, before I realized again that this was also a dream. I repeated the thought carefully: Remember, it is a dream. I tried lifting up and that was when I felt an immense pressure weighing down on me. It's as if I was breaking past the limit of an invisible wall. It occurred to me that I may have been trying to move my physical body, in bed, at the same time I tried doing so in the dream. Despite this and contrary to any other occasion, I would not wake up. I noticed that as long I kept focus, I could push over to the other side. No vibrations this time. Inch by inch my body began to rise, that is, until a split second later I lost sight of my goal and the dream began to fade. Everything went black for a bit before I opened my eyes to reality.

Agent
Night of November 11, 2020

We had rushed inside one of the houses at the end of the road. It took a while to get our bearings. By the air of conversation coming from one of the rooms on the back, I could tell the owners were unaware of our presence. B stood behind me while I looked back on the door; I opened it ever so slightly until it allowed a small peek through to the other side. Below the thickness of light were vehicles among the rest of homes that lined both sides of the street. My eyes panned side to side; not a single soul stood out in the close vicinity, and that was concerning. They were nowhere to be found.

And then, by mere chance I caught the shadowy figure of a man. He emerged from a corner between the third and fourth houses to the left of the street, and soon after followed not one but five more men. Their sleeveless and greasy shirts were disgustingly magnified by the ammo belts running across their chest. One of them, the closest to the entrance, raised his weapon in victory as he kicked the door from its hinges. The crew forced their way through the threshold while I looked back in horror. With my back against the exit I shut the door close. I could barely think straight; B hadn’t moved an inch.

"They're coming," I said.

B trailed after me as we moved to the back of the house where we found a group of three women sitting around a table.

“We need to move out of this house.” I warned them.

“They’re going to be here any minute now and if they find us, we’re done.”

But the three women ignored me and continued their conversation without a care in the world. As a matter of fact, I don’t think they even heard me. I signaled B and we hurried out of the place through one of the windows. We walked for a while and it wasn’t long when we came upon a stretch of land. An assembly of bodies in black suits covered the space wide. I don’t know why I looked back. The three women's residence was a two-story structure that housed a large balcony overlooking the field. Up on the platform my eyes locked with one of the mercenaries. I diverted my gaze immediately and pulled us both near the crowd of people. But it was too late now. As if taken from one of the Matrix movies, I saw two agents drop to the ground. We had been found.

I turned back only to determine the distance between us as we ran for our lives. The agents chased us to a building which I barely recognized (after waking up) as my old middle school. The old place had a layout consisting of four floors of interconnecting corridors organized in a rectangular pattern. I had taken B up and down countless sets of stairs, through narrow passages and broken-down classrooms. But no matter how much I tried we couldn’t lose them. Eventually, our haphazard escape meant it was only a matter of time before one of us lost sight of the other.

Alone and terrified I ran as fast as I could. Before reaching the end of the hall, I found a short space on the lower left wall near one of many locked doors. I shoved myself into the crammed space and crept my way inside into an abandoned classroom. Within the darkness I barricaded myself with pieces of decayed old wooden chairs, broken tables, and any other mess I could find. I crouched behind the dusty window of the door and awaited in silence. The close stomps from one of the agents could be heard from barely a few feet away. The sound of footsteps came from the right; they stopped directly in front of me, then resumed on the other side, dying out the further they went. Slowly, I raised my head from the ground. We were already deep into the night. The dirty window made it almost impossible to see but, there was no mistake that the quivering figure standing on the third floor, on the other side of the school, was none other than B himself, taken into custody by one of the agents.

I had to go back for my friend. I retreaded slowly away from the door, and then I realized the back of the room had opened itself to a parking space abutting a roadside hotel. The place had a set of stairs to one of the upper floors. The sounds approaching from the neighboring guest rooms startled me, so I took cover, crouching behind the wall at the bottom of the steps. A young man crossed from side to side not before stopping midway after noticing me. He shared a puzzling look. Realizing the awkwardness of the situation I stood up almost immediately and played things off as if nothing had happened. The young man continued, and I followed him up as he turned the corner on the left and entered through the doors to the public restroom. As I did, it became clear to me that this was all a dream.

The place I was in wasn’t anything special, save for a very distinctive feature. I discovered it by watching the young man from before, the moment he sat on the floor in front of a mirror above one of the sinks. Without any interaction on his part, the mirror turned itself on like any other T.V. I was surprised at what unfolded in front of me. But before I did anything else, I had to ground my lucidity inside the dream.

“Where is my body?” I asked.

“My body is lying in bed. I am dreaming.”

“What date is it?”

“It is the 11th of November.”

With renewed clarity, I approached one of the mirrors. As I grabbed it, the object twisted and shrank to a size perfectly fitted to my grip. Like a tablet, I held the mirror and stared at it. Nothing out of the ordinary happened; my reflection looked perfectly back at me. The young man watching T.V. was still there, withdrawn from anything or anyone around him. I didn’t know what to do with this thing. But then, an idea popped inside my head. Could I use an object like this, especially a mirror, to look into another space in the world, maybe use it as a medium of transportation? Say I want to travel to a different location, perhaps the mirror could facilitate a much needing proposition. But how do I get this thing to work?

First, I would need to think of the place I wanted to see. I initially thought about the old school, but at this point lucidity was slipping away and it was hard for me to keep a concentrating effort on the task at hand. The old school brought memories of my friend B, and with a little effort I thought I could use the mirror to look back to where exactly he was being held prisoner. The distance wasn’t long, and maybe I could get back to him by use of the object in the span of an instant. I regained a little awareness after this and attempted my escape. However, whatever I tried, I could not get past my own reflection in the mirror. I thought directly on where I wanted to go, tried to imagine the place I had been previously; I even turned away for a second, then looked back, hoping to see something other than my face behind the small piece of glass, but I failed time and again. It’s as if I didn’t actually believe such a thing possible. Absurd. This was a dream. Impossible had no meaning within the confines of my own mind. And yet, doubt was a hurdle difficult to eradicate. But my mind wasn’t having it no more. Confusion formed inside a cloud that blurred my judgement, disconnecting my mind and sliding me away into the mindset of non-lucid.

The dream continues non-lucidly.



Dipping One's Toes at Dream Control: My First Attempts
Night of November 12, 2020

I stopped before the stairs of my house, observant of whatever was downstairs. I did not know why, but something about the place was amiss. Things felt wrong; it all felt slightly off. And then, it hit me: It is a dream.

I repeated the words, and each time I did, I could feel the cogs inside my head starting to turn. I saw more clearly now, aware of what was happening. Downstairs, danger was imminent. I wanted to get out of here, but I didn’t know how. I thought I’d wish a new place into existence, but the dream would not budge. I tried talking my way through things, but again, it mattered little to none if I didn’t believe myself to make it happen. I stayed for several more attempts until I finally woke up.

Three nights, three opportunities to lucid dream, detailed as follows:

??? - September 27, 2020

The dream had a nightmarish tone from the very beginning. I don't remember much, as this landed on a rest day. I strain my eyes in hopes of finding some memory of the event. With effort, an image comes to mind. Oh right, I remember now. I was wandering in the woods at night, and then... I'm in my house... in the backyard. It's still dark outside. I see a group of animals, rodents, or maybe they're toys, making their way to the end of the wall. There's a close-up shot from above showing them, just lying there lifelessly in the grass. Now, I circle around a rock formation. Like a camera, I fix on the summit of a mountain as I round and round the place, as if in a helicopter. What's that on top, is it, a head? But it is nothing like any head I've ever seen. This one is more alien-shaped. Two processes protrude below it, and creep on the ground, like worms. I can't have one good shot at the thing because it keeps disappearing. My view circles around once more. All this seems very repetitive, and maybe it is my brain recognizing a pattern, similarities within the experience. The pattern turns to oddness, and weird turns to clarity:

I am dreaming.

The dream collapses. From within the blackness I enter REM atonia. Vibrations on my left side, full-body paralysis and the gut wrenching sight of the alien was the breaking point for me. It didn't matter that it was a dream. I wanted out, and I did.



The Man on the Lake - October 17, 2020

Many more dreams today. First, I saw a man standing in a large body of water, the height of which could barely touch his knees. The lake spanned for miles everywhere, and it didn't look to have an end. The moon reflected on the surface and the light mist covering the lake made everything so dream-like. The figure stared at the water, as if searching for something. He wore a dark robe, and for some reason or another, I though this person's name to be Adrian. I watched, and again, everything felt very repetitive, with the constant whirling around and searching. I figured it out shorty.

This is a dream.

Unfortunately, recognizing things meant giving permission for vibrations to do their thing. Tonight, they had focused entirely around my neck. The sensations were short but powerful, and in seconds I was overwhelmed by them. I woke up.



The Garden - October 29, 2020

I followed a woman downstairs to a basement. The space was accommodated to appear like a normal bedroom. There were beds and all provisions were made available so that one could live here. The woman led me then to a door above short steps that opened into a small entryway. Two doors lied on both sides, where a bathroom stood behind the one to the right. As we continued, the plain concrete walls from before made way for a stone finish. We stopped before two corridors that joined on both ends to form a rectangle. In the center, a beautiful garden spawned in the middle. And while looking around this garden, I knew. It was such a familiar feeling, a convincement that I was dreaming.

This time, surprisingly, there were no more vibrations, no more unpleasantness to follow the process of getting lucid. A big part of this had to do, perhaps, with my undivided attention to the scene at hand, on the plants, the flowers, the amount of detail contained within this garden. I understood that if I had so much as squinted away for a moment, that vibrations would return, but I persevered, and maintained my eye fixed on the world that lied in front of me. I walked along the corridor. There, in the sky, I noticed a small shimmer of light peering its way from above, bathing the greenery with color. There was a gate up ahead, but by the time I had crossed it lucidity had left me, and I became oblivious of when I had fallen back to a more dream-like version of myself.

The dream continues non-lucidly.

My last entry was a tad more than a month ago. After shifting training methods to work exclusively on the fundamentals, I feared the steady state progress I was currently viewing would slow down momentarily. What I didn't expect was for it to plummet spectacularly. My dream recall took a brake for about a week, wake-back-to-beds were nerve-rackingly difficult to pull off, and for days I could barely get a full night's rest. But through it all I pushed on.

I began building awareness day by day up to this very last week when I saw glimpses of it seeping into my dreams. Were in prior entries I would innocently follow along the story, the last few nights brought questions against the logic behind each dream. Today, I am proud to see things getting back on track, with a new lucid dream. I want to point out I did attain one more lucid dream during my time away from this journal, I simply chose not to share it. I was debating if I should keep this new one to myself as well. The fact is, my dreams haven't gotten any more noteworthy than the rest. I think they've never been as special as other entries I've read around here. There are forty lucid dreams to my name and I haven't been able to go beyond a couple of steps inside, beyond a few seconds at most. I've never talked to anyone in a dream, never known what it feels to fly in a dream, no chance to see or explore, there's nothing. It's frankly demoralizing, more so when I read other people's journey, far more exciting than anything I could hope for, many of them within their first five or ten lucid dreams, some during their first.

I want to share it however, perhaps because there's the possibility of another person like me, who struggles getting their foot through the door once lucid, so that they can see my progress and hopefully learn something of value through this journal. It's not much right now, and I'm honestly expecting nothing changing towards the end of the year. I only hope the amount of practice ends up paying off in the long run. To the dream then:



I was at home standing in front of a window, staring at an empty space. It was dark and most likely raining outside. The lights were off. I kept listening to water running down to the ground on my left. I thought I heard footsteps pacing about farther into the distance. But then, I heard them closer. The air was thicker now, and I sensed danger looming nearby. Expecting an assault or robbery, I immediately shut the window close and put the lock on. I wait. I'm not sure the window was properly closed, so I swing it open and lock it for good only this time, it hits me that this is a dream.

I am dreaming.

I take my eyes off the handle and set on an empty dark space outside. The feeling of danger falls almost directly upon me. I think something will pop out from below that window and jump scare me. I try to calm down. A vibratory force makes its way up against my sides and onto my neck, enough for me to wake up.

The dream started inside a restaurant. As I sat around a large table with the rest of my family I noticed we were the only ones in this joint. A line of waiters dressed in black suits approached the table one by one with an assortment of dishes. A small bowl with a creamy pumpkin soup was delivered to me. Across the table and through the double-swing doors, the restaurant connected to a short entryway that lead away from the entrance. Next to it and touching the left wall, lied a series of stairs to the upper floors. I could make out two people babbling before the steps.

The scene cuts immediately to a room brimming with people, gathered before a table opposite which where two young kids, a girl and a boy, about 5 years old each if I were to guess. We are celebrating their birthday, it seems. Among the cluster of strangers I see my brother. He proposes a toast. The collective voices of everyone in the room subside immediately. He takes a drink from his glass, turns to face me, and congratulates me for my birthday! The audience erupts in excitement. I'm bewildered, sharing a puzzling glance at my brother. It isn't my birthday today, that was six months ago! People start emptying the room. One of my cousins and her friend stay behind to sing to the birthday kids; they're having a blast. Both siblings don't really care for what's happening, though. I stay with them but they're unusually close, our heads stuck together while they sing.

And then there's a jump in time until I find myself in a hallway. It was a bit dark now, and the road continued towards the birthday party. I was alone in here, and I started walking back to the previous room. As I walked, I began thinking. It was an oddly thought that popped in my head.

If I go back, I'll lose this opportunity, the opportunity to do something here.

The voice in my head appeared trustworthy enough to follow its advice; I stopped walking, and resumed thinking.

Besides, as much as I want to return, there are more important things, and that is because... this is a dream.

The meaning of the words hit me like a bucket of cold water. With renewed clarity I repeated the next set of words in my head:

Where is my real body?

My real body is lying in bed, in my house, in ***.

I become fully lucid.

Everything went dark for a second, and I thought I had lost the dream. I barely managed to spot a white tinge from one of the walls of the hall, so I drew my attention to it. Within seconds, the rest of the scene reappears. The passage now stretched far and wide. It was dark and humid. A system of pipes coursed from the top and beyond on both sides, and the left and right walls appeared old and dirty. I could sense the beginnings of something piercing my left side. I withstood the burn and scattered my eyes, looking for something to focus. An old wooden chair appeared now on my right. I stare at it, concentrating, and like magic the torment slowly abates. I regain focus, and repeat an intention over and over in my mind:

I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream.

Whatever it is I'm doing, it seems to be working. I try taking a few steps forward, looking at where I want to go instead of physically willing myself to move.

The sound of a voice close to me breaks my attention. Was it my brother? I have trouble making things out. I see a mob from the corner of my eye, approaching from the end of the passage, from the back, from everywhere really. I grow desperate, and with it discomfort returns. I have only seconds left, I believe. Do I resist the urge to give up, or end this right now? Decisions, decisions, and I choose to wake up.



Oh, why did I gave up too easily! Oh, well, there's always another night.

I stood in front of a complex that overlooked a public garden. This facility had long awning windows; its reflections surprised me because they were so detailed and real. My view cut next to the interiors of the dorm rooms. There were a series of bunks tucked to the walls, a couple of drawers, and a cabinet. We formed a group of four, and every morning we would wake up to write our dreams from the night. When we finished, my awareness would jump back and wake again, repeating the same process over and over. Two people patrolled around the area, so we couldn't leave the room. They were also against recording our dreams; we were vigilant of their whereabouts all the time and hid our dream journals below the mattress. Once I borrowed a book from one of my friends and pretended to be reading while writing on one of its pages.

We were stuck in a loop until one morning, something different happened. Awake in my bunk as always, I wanted out from this building. The door to the dormitories was locked though, and as if in a video game, I could see a set of instructions plastered on the top left of my perspective. Grab the keys from Liz, it read. I found them when I searched inside the drawers around her bunk, then proceeded next (per the directions on the screen) to open the cabinet. But then, I was hit with a sudden suspicion.

This looks familiar, I thought.

A short squeeze grabbed hold on my left side. I gathered my thoughts more clearly, Where is my real body?. And I answered, My real body is lying in bed... sleeping right now. This, this is a dream.

Now I was lucid, but the dream collapsed in the moment of awareness. Again, I saw nothing.

The transition, I thought.

I shouted clarity, clarity please! into the void a few times, but nothing seemed to happen. I tried stating an affirmation next, that the dream would fall into place, reappear in front of my eyes, nothing still. I waited, and now focused on the uncomfortable sensation.

If I pay attention to it, perhaps...

The squeezing increased... I woke up.

This dream was long (I'll skip to the lucid bit), and I had wandered inside a discount store...

I was walking through the aisles, as I had already done only moments ago. As I went about, I became a little suspicious about the place. I pretended I was lucid and seeing that my goal was to prevent myself from waking up, I figured it proper to concentrate on an aspect of the dream to stabilize it. I was already on the far side to the left so, I chose the wall as my object of focus. This wall had a continuous blue stripe in the middle, and I stared at it while I paced from one corner of the space to the next.

At first it was the pattern on the wall which made things odd. Huh, this looks familiar, I thought. It was the activity however, which made me really doubt my place in here.

Wait, I am dreaming... Ok, where is my real body?

The answer again, was obvious: My real body is lying in bed. This is a dream.

With that confirmation I became fully conscious, but with the realization came a pressure around my sides, and the dream appeared to be dying down (I'm not sure why this keeps happening). With the little time I had, I figured it was best to keep staring at the wall. My eyes fixed on that blue stripe until I noticed my surroundings coming back into view. And then, I heard a voice behind me; the sound was so loud and clear it startled me. I was being sucked into this world and it was too real. I got too excited unfortunately, and the pressure increased in strength once more. The dream collapsed.

I did not know if I was really awake. A few seconds later I saw a screen of gray mist. It spawned in a circle around me and I took it as a sign of a transition period. Maybe if I remained still a new dream would form. At least, that's what I thought, though the pressure was already unbearable by this point. I tried resisting it, but it was too much and I felt forced to wake up for good.

At first there were only people that came and went within the walls of some facility. Then, the shot is that of a skinny young lad dressed in green uniform. I think he worked as a security guard. He stood behind a screen, overseeing the premises and calling out people when their turn was due. Those named would then have an appointment with a lady of short black hair.

I noticed they had trouble locating one of their clients, a mother with her child; the boy would be no older than 10. I can see her son outside the reception, waiting in line for his turn, but his mother is missing. I had a memory of watching her run to the restroom with tears in her eyes. They seemed like a humble little family. I cut back to the security officer. Her boss was impatient because her clients had not arrived.

The scene changed in the blink of an eye. I sat on a desk in a classroom. There's a whiteboard at the front wall. To my right was a good friend of mine (I misremembered whom exactly when I woke up). I scanned the area and spotted another one of my friends seated behind me.

"Well look who it is, M. N., doctor in medicine," I said with a smile. He knew I was messing with him. He chuckled, then got back to his things.

We three chat for a while until a teacher entered the view, a young lady, the same lady from the reception. She ordered to open our books to page 327 (might be around the 300 - 400 pages) then went ahead to write on the board.

Everyone pulled out their books except me. I couldn't find mine. I stared at the other desks and saw it had a hardcover with green all around. My desk was enclosed by bookshelves standing on my left and front sides. My eyes jumped from left to right of each shelf but every different book inside was green. I grabbed any random one, turned to the page, but it didn't match the one from my friends. I returned it anxiously. My vision was cloudy by now, I couldn't see nor think straight. The teacher was drawing a series of squares on the board, was this an art class? She paced around the room, verifying everyone had their book. Then, a false memory hit me; I saw the book I wanted inside my backpack.

Once again my view jumped and this time, a small rectangular window came into view. This was a different room, a bedroom. Contrary to the classroom, which was overcrowded and noisy, there was only a bed and a window here. The bed was to my left, like the bookshelf was before it. I stared at the window, it was so blue outside. I noticed my perspective getting sucked bit by bit into it. The more I focused on the window, the more drawn to it and the easier it was for me to move toward it. As I approached the bed I feared bumping on it but my worries dwindled when I saw I could glide over it. I kept coming closer to the other side until it dawned on me that this was a dream. I don't know what it was that made me know, but the whole experience of concentrating on that window made me remember of the truth of things.

Upon that realization I started backtracking now. Soon, I went up in the sky between clouds and sun. A city extended below. I wanted to walk the streets, their districts and landmarks, I wanted to explore. What lied in the distance? But I kept pulling away, removed from everything.

I prod my mind and it was so easy this time, where is my real body?

It's obvious isn't it, my real body is lying in bed, and this is a dream.

Sure enough, I could feel my body in bed and my consciousness inside my head within the dream. An uncomfortable sensation began growing inside. I knew where this ended, what it meant. It stopped around my waist. I don't want to leave! The dream felt distant now, my awareness trapped in between it and the real world. I wanted to go inside, to feel completely in the dream world, if only for a few minutes. I wanted to stop moving. I thought about going forward this time, I commanded in my head of my intention, but it was of no use. I went back and flew as far away until I woke up in my bed.



I must learn dream control, though I'm glad for another lucid dream, however short.

When I came back from the restroom I was arguing with Myrna about the nature of destiny and if life was predestined from the beginning. None of us were backing down from the argument, and I was getting frustrated. At last I reached my tipping point and sat down outside the bathroom doors. Myrna continued along the hallway with Cesar until they reached the end. It was a hall with beige marble walls facing a long mirror. While I had dinner a waiter stood nearby. Myrna waits enough to get desperate and walks back to me. I realize it's time to leave, so I get up to put an end to this childish tantrum.

"It's getting late! Look, you forgot the papers!" she says, while opening the door to the restrooms.

I follow her to a most elegant and sparkling facility of crystal black marble walls. She brakes step by the door to one of the bathroom stalls and opens it. What I saw when I turned to look was a toilet with the lid down, and on top of it, a small piece of parchment, nicely folded (my reality check). I worriedly grab it and we leave to meet up with Cesar.

We turned the corner and reached a foyer. People are lined on either side facing an entrance. Cesar sits on a bench in the center, waiting for us.

The next thing I know is that we're sitting in a small theater. A movie is projected on a widescreen; it is a horror film. I can hear Ara's screams echoing around the theater; she's always like this when watching anything scary.

"Ara where are you!" I shout.

A voice booms overhead, without a specific source, "Well, find out where I'm sitting!" I scan the area but it is very dark to see. It takes me a little while but I spot her silhouette by the front seats to my left. A skeleton appears on the screen. Everyone screams. Ara laughs hysterically.



I'll skip now to the moment I got lucid as the next sections of the dream are not relevant to tell. Moments prior to this stage in the dream, I heard a voice convey to me that demons could be seen if we directed our gaze to the upper left corner of our vision.



I see a play or theater room. The space opened to a large rectangular area below a step. There were sliding doors to the front and right sides of the room. A couple of windows to the back allowed for some light to shine through. Some cushions and a white sofa were neatly organized around. Not much is happening here except I'm growing scared but I don't know why. I remember then what the voice had said.

I play out the words in my head again and again, There is a demon on the upper left corner of my vision. I do not want to look but curiosity slowly pulls my head against resistance. In that remembrance, of the voice, of the dreaded words, I recall a similar event from another dream, a lucid dream. In it I had feared a monster at the other side of a door. It is through this memory that I finally find out I'm dreaming.

I hear the words, this is a dream, loud and clear in my head. I see nothing in the upper left corner of my vision.

With that I immediately feel different; it is a familiar sensation, a lucid sensation. Lucid, I'm uncertain on what it is I want to do. I change places. A corridor (there's always a corridor) appears before me. I believe I haven't left this residence. I'm fearful once more. Then, I remember MoonageDaydream's advice, about facing what scares you. Doing this is intimidating to me, but I reason there is nothing to lose by trying. I stand resolute and hope whatever it is I see isn't traumatizing. Nothing ever comes out from anywhere, to my fortune.

My vision now spins without me intending it. I can only make out a set of windows, one after the other. While I keep spinning I know I'm losing grip of the dream. I remember Sageous' advice here; he commented we should use this moment of lucidity to recover the memory of our sleeping body.

Where is my body? Where is my real body? I ask numerous times. I can't seem to remember where it is my body lies! I concentrate, though I am so drowsy! I can't for the life of me access this thought, yet I can feel my real body lying in bed. It doesn't take me long to finally wake up to reality.

While cutting food on a table a sudden rush of excitement took hold of me. I stopped dead center and brandished an object towards the sky. Standing there, I felt no other thing but clarity. There was a coherency that made everything fall in place. Although I saw myself from afar, non-lucid and as if on a trance, I couldn't explain how clear I was. It was as if I had finally recovered a part of me that was missing. C was beside me as always. She was holding on to something as well, staring up with eyes closed. I notice a golden string connects us together and from our bodies it continues towards something else, but I can't remember.

This is it. I knew it was real, there was just no other way, this is it.

The object felt very personal to us, as if it's mere existence were proof enough of the concept of this clarity. We were freed.



When I woke I couldn't let go of this dream. It was all too powerful, and even while awake I could still grab a piece of that clarity. It was only when I finally turned away that saw the memory of it fading away. What were we holding on to? What was that object? The knife? There was a knife in the dream, but somehow this doesn't sit right with me. I think of an animal. I did saw a gray cat with weird eyes outside my window that night. It startled me. Was there a cat in my dream? The details are fuzzy, I write what I can on my journal, go to the bathroom and return to sleep.

While on my bed I kept thinking about the object, I couldn't shake the thought off my head. I had to know, what were C and I holding on to?

* * *

I find myself in front of a vast tree. It is rich with leaves and sits in the middle of nowhere. Everywhere else is in shadows except for the tree. I walk close to it and take a piece of its bark. Then, I relive the events as they were from the dream before. Ah, such certainty in things.

This was it! Not the knife, the tree!

I know that holding a part of this tree fills me with happiness and relief. I want to keep this connection with the tree when I awake.

* * *

The apartment was small but welcoming. There was a large rectangular glass table top and after, a round table with four chairs, plus a couple of bedrooms to the left. There were lights placed on the walls on each side of the room. Midpoint through the apartment was a window with view of the entrance. Throughout the dream a song played and every time AA and M sang along to the tune (I can't remember what was the song's name). I see F working on a broken air conditioner. Because of the virus we had to be careful about everything we did, nothing could be left to waste. Through the window I saw a car arrive and I hear the catchy song. AA starts singing.

I remember escaping with C and meeting some people in the woods. One guy is giving out cut pieces of paper with Homer Simpson's face on it. He says they are part of an assignment, and I feel bad because I haven't done any. I have a feeling the papers resembled one of my reality checks but now think that might be quite a mental stretch. I followed C and board a car with two of her friends. I feel like we're in Prague. She wants to drive to a new home, but doesn't remember the way. She keeps asking me for directions. She starts repeating the same number, either 21 or 51. I sit on the passenger's seat observing the vistas.

* * *

Below the large rock I find J and C standing by, talking. They asked me if I had dreamt anything, and I tell them of a dream I had with C. In this dream I grab her hand and lead her down a trip to the depths of the ocean. I can see the story unfold before my eyes. I only stop when two other friends arrive because I don't feel confident enough to talk about my dreams with them.



Upon waking, I realize this dream tells a very similar story to a one I had read before in a book.

* * *

A very large stage spans the area of about half a football field. The lights are out, there are thousands of seats and on the center hangs a giant screen. A movie is projected on it. A teacher sits at the left corner of the stage and gives a class about film. There are exits to the right and left. The first ends on a window-door that leads to a house, and the second on a giant artificial climbing wall. I try reaching the class from the rock but notice the grips are not fastened well, they fall from their place. I focus on them, and their touch feels very real. When I reach the top I see Ca playing video games on his bedroom. I wonder why he isn't in class and he tells me he will when it's almost over. I fear they will mark us as absent but he assures me nothing will happen if we arrive before the end of the class. Still, I try to find a way to reach the theater to escape penalization. I try to find something more formal to wear instead of the shorts and shirt I have on me.

To say the two women had no distinguishing features would be a lie. But it was unimaginably dark the moment we headed down the corridor, there was never a chance I could see their faces. We passed a door to the left that opened to a small bathroom. The glass door at the other side of the corridor was the only visible thing in the darkness. The mood was abnormally silent and eerie. They stopped before a door to the right about halfway through. When I went inside, I saw only a bed and a couch in an otherwise empty room. The two women spoke between themselves while I found myself comfortable.

The both of them were well versed in lucid dreaming. I saw a person standing beside me, perhaps another student? I tried to listen to their lessons and attempted to become lucid. We would gather each night for our sessions. Every time the lesson ended, our teachers would lead us back down the corridor into a separate bedroom. I never knew who the women were, their names, nor were they in any way familiar to me. They were very patient with us, however. We would always practice during the late hours of the night.

Sometimes, the place we stayed in changed overnight. One time we slept inside a vacant office. The room had a series of shelves around its walls with nuts, bolts, and other stuff, and a desk with a small T.V. There was a cooking show on screen about an Argentinian chef preparing an alluring sauce. Another time we were sitting outside the women's porch. I remained puzzled as to how it was we kept changing places.

A ghost resided in the house. The first time I saw it, it had brushed past us while we were on the corridor. The ghost would always follow the same route from the glass door to the bathroom. Though it never materialized, I believed it was a small child. The women were aware of the ghost but did not feared it. The ghost never bothered with our lessons, but I never stopped being scared of it.

During one particular night, one of the women delved into the many methods for attaining lucidity. Sitting on the couch the two practitioners guided us through their teachings. Suddenly, I could mentally see each lesson like choices on a menu screen. From the five on display (which I can't remember), I decided on the first one and gave it a chance. Immediately my body went numb, as if with sleep paralysis. An ever growing pressure settled on both sides of my neck. Anxious, I tried to shake it off, but my body would not move. As if responding to my fear, the pressing subsided. When we finished that night, one of the women stood beside me and thanked a disembodied presence for our well-being.

* * *

I try moving my hands but notice they are tied to a pole. It is very dark in here, wherever I am. I am, again, bordering on the threshold of lucidity. I remember discussing lucid dreaming with two other people. We don't seem to have a body with us while the conversation takes place.

Throughout the night I recalled only fragments that went nowhere. They would always come in pairs. Strangely was that one of the two would always dance around the border of lucidity. In one of these encounters I was delving in the concept of lucidity with someone else. In another, my dream self would always feel unease around the oddness of the dream world. I was always present during their runtime.

When I opened my eyes prior to this last dream, it was already 10:30 am. I debated in my head if a WBTB felt proper. I decided not to. There was a thought inside my head this morning. A belief, that if I could by any chance stretch another hour of sleep, I would become lucid in a dream. I tossed and turned and long enough a sense of sluggishness reeled in. I wasn't aware when I had fallen asleep.

* * *

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, I gave up. I remember feeling pretty ordinary and awake. I hold still for a few seconds, should a final memory reveal itself. When I opened my eyes, I saw a different bedroom. It was a place that existed in reality, my own bedroom (I'm currently staying somewhere else). To my right lied two more beds. The last one was disheveled and covered in clothing. The table at the end, opposite the beds, was empty. A large window stood in front of it. The light was on and colored the space in a strong orange tint. I felt like grabbing some breakfast after taking a shower.

While I grabbed a pair of socks, a t-shirt and some shorts from the pile of clothes, my father entered. He sported a plain white shirt, some shorts and sandals. I notice a laptop on his hands, as well as a small black device that looks like some sort of radio receiver. Upon seeing it I took for granted it was a speaker for the laptop. He sits and places his belongings on the table and watches T.V.

I hadn't decided yet what I wanted to wear and juggle too many socks on my hands. I remember there was a dark shirt around the pile I wanted to grab but I couldn't find it.

Dad senses the struggle and asks while watching, "Need any help?".

"Uh, no," I respond.

I stop for a moment and contemplate for a second. Looking back to the light I think, perhaps I overslept into the night and it's already late. Lowering my eyes, I notice I already have the shirt I want on my hands.

After closing the bathroom door I sit on the toilet. I don't know why, but I keep looking at my hands. As I stretch them out in front of me, I notice they're unnaturally pale. My vision is a bit weird also, like someone decided to drop a visual effect on the scene. I turn back to my hands and stare for long seconds. I stare… my eyes widen, oh my god, I'm dreaming!!! This is a dream! I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming!. I am beyond excited. The reality check worked! It finally worked!.

Thrilled, I turn my gaze towards the door. I sense fear.

A monster or demon lies on the other side of this door.

I come back to my senses. Don't be a fool! Remember that expectation rules in this place. If you do not give it focus, nothing will happen.

I become hesitant. The door appears menacing, towering in front of me. I try a different approach. A primitive reaction fills inside me. Women! Yes, if I open the door and imagine beautiful women standing on the other side, it should work!. I have some doubts but open the door anyway.

A hallway stretches out for a good six meters or so. I can see a sink and a mirror far away. This passage is old. I can see the paint peeling off from the corners of its walls. They are painted evenly of dark bluish tones. As I walk around the narrow path fear has already left me. I'm so happy for my success, I don't know what to do! I notice how I'm walking for the first time in my dream. It's like in the book! A mental intention, not a physical one.

I try speaking, but no sound comes out. I try shouting with greater strength, but the sounds are muffled as if being underwater. I look up at the ceiling and think of flying. Will I make it happen? I try setting my intention clear. I want to will myself up but I'm afraid I will crash on the ceiling. Nothing happens.

A vibratory sensation penetrates my sides. It is a strong, uncomfortable feeling. I realize the dream is about to collapse. I can feel it getting stronger, and when engulfed by it I'm already awake.

* * *

Turns out the practice was successful. After one long 3 year break from this hobby, it only took 11 days to get back in the game. I must continue the practice, I can do this. We, can do this.

As a formless observer I see myself at the front door of the house where I'm currently staying. There's two other people with me. C stands beside the sofa and U. Ch in front of the kitchen table. The observer part in me locates an object approaching from outside towards the entrance. It is a square-looking thing that my dream self recognizes as my reality check (it is). It rolls its way up the steps and stops before the door. But my dream self denies it passage, explaining to my two guests, that because I don’t know what the object entails, unless we're to open the door and find out, then it would "defeat the purpose" of the reality check altogether, and so I couldn't invite it in.

* * *

Authorities are searching for a boy who has been missing. I'm inside a completely dark room covered in black drapes, accompanied by a creepy lady who holds the boy hostage. This lady, whose name is not known, looks like a very sophisticated clairvoyant dressed in black robes. The kid, who will never speak during the course of the dream, resembles a very young Anakin Skywalker. He is neither scared nor unfazed about his present situation. While we stand together, a bunch of computer screens turn on, revealing the face of FBI agents that know of the boy's whereabouts. The lady leaves the room and escapes.

I'm left with the boy and convince him to tag along. We follow a tunnel that leads to the outskirts of a large castle. We change into new attires to match with the times and setting of this place. The boy in particular now resembles a very young Link, except for his blonde hair. We walk around a lake lying to the side of one of the castle's towers. As we reach the other side of the lake we sneak past some guards standing watch by a gate and reach what appears a small town.

There's folk going by doing their business. The streets are crowded with merchants, women, and children. A string of houses lie on both sides of the street. The armors of the city watch shine under the light of the sun as they patrol around every now and then. If we walk close to any of the town's inhabitants a prompt appears above their heads like those in a video game.

We make our way to the roof of these houses to remain hidden from the authorities and think about our best course of action. The kid seems to take this little adventure rather well. From above, an underground passage leading to a cellar lies to our left. When we reach the bottom, we find a large room of beds with people sleeping. I turn on some lights to see what we can use.

Suddenly the agents (also dressed in armor) have discovered our location and reach the gate with a whole army to spare. I frantically search for weapons but can't find any. A lady approaches the inlet to the cellar. She interrogates the man who guards the entrance. He refuses to speak so she sticks a sword up his side and leaves him to die. She returns for her army but we take this opportunity to sneak out and run for our lives.

We run around the corners of the town, and climb atop people's homes, keeping out of grasp from the city watch. On rooftop we find a long round door that covers a tunnel. It is a long path that leads to the other side of town, away from danger. We enter and I find three sets of sandals and shoes, mostly light to wear and white in color. They look beautiful and I can't help but store them in my bag.

Outside we reach another gate surrounded by a dangerous current. The precipice is tall enough to prove deadly. I fall and in true "Dark Souls" fashion lose my "souls". Now I'm trapped on top of a very small hill while three crocodiles roam around in the water.

* * *

There's a door I keep opening and closing. I keep explaining to someone or more than one person about what happens when you open a door. I make sure they know that it takes at least three times for the person who crosses it while entering for it to mean something, and the same when someone exits the same amount of times. Was it perhaps, lucidity? Ah, the memory eludes me.

Walking outside in the streets at night I follow the road upstream to wherever it may lead. After a few minutes I come about a simple house at the top of a closed street. A young woman sweeps the floor as I approach her on the porch. She reminds me of an old friend from years past. The front door is open and I notice a young child playing with her toys. They are kind people I feel, but know deep down in my gut that her partner is an abusive monster.

She does the laundry and waits beside as if expecting me to get close. I lean in to her and she begs me for her and her daughter's well-being. I'm hesitant at first, scared of what might become of me, but I can't refuse her pleas now that I'm here. I tell her we have no time to waste and will prepare some tickets to get her out of the state. At first she seems wary of her remaining tasks at home, the wet clothes, the dinner in a few hours, but I tell her to just let it be and pack as is. She washes hastily and we agree to meet in a few hours while his husband sleeps in bed.

I meet her and her child at a bus terminal. I had arranged beforehand to get our tickets from a known underground contact. As we board the bus I'm wary about danger close by. His husband is on the know of our plan and he's on his way right now to the terminal and bring them back. We have to be quick, so we get into our seats and I hope with all my heart he doesn't reach us before this bus departs. I fear if he were to arrive at the terminal the bus would not move. I speak with the flight attendants for the delay but I'm reassured when I feel the bus initiates its launch into the streets. At this point I know we're safe, she is safe.

As we roll out into the streets, I'm marveled at how different the bus is. We're not so much driving as we're gliding across the road. I peak out the window and notice this bus has wings like those of a plane. A row of seats stretch above us and to the side. This bus is magical. Then come the deserts. Whether we're in the mood for ice cream, cakes, pies, plates filled with deserts come descending from above. They float in front of us and linger just in reach for our hands to grab. I serve me some ice cream and feel delighted at the amount of care and service we're getting.

* * *

I've been having some pressing confrontations with a vampire as of late. Both me and my associate C, a woman with unimaginable skill, search the creepy and foggy woods at night in wait for its attack. I've been getting better with each fight and because of my success, fortune has awarded me with two long sables to defend our cause. Now it is our turn to become the predators and it the prey. We reach the end of an abandoned chimney that sits inside a big willow tree. The damn entrance is closed unfortunately. So we start digging.

Moments prior someone important had gifted C a white glowing dagger that could end the life of this vampire forever. It was our secret weapon, our last resort should the battle turn ugly. Anyway, we end up digging far more than we expected but reached at last a buried treasure. It is an ancient book, beautifully crafted (like those found in the movie "The Mummy"). The book is entirely made of precious stone and engraved on its plates lies a short tale about the vampire itself. As we turn the pages it greets us through its story, excited for all this time it has been leading us fools into a trap, preparing us for our doom as it is our fate to become its slaves.

At this point the chimney opens. A blinding mist escapes through the abyss that covers the entrance. Its attack was swift and silent. I thought I had it so I swing my right hand and hope the blade managed to make contact. It anticipates this move however, and restrains my arm with its hand and, holding a short dagger with its free hand, is about to deliver a deadly blow. I know this is the end, but before the blade penetrates my skin, C swiftly pierces its side with the white dagger. The creature moans in agony and disappears for good into the night.