DarkestDarkness

24th October 2020

Fragment:

A bit in a super market about buying toilet roll. I wanted the same one as we had last time but I couldn't find it. I found some Cushelle branded roll which was apparently cotton but it looked too thin anyway.

I think HD was a cashier, I seem to remember her ponytail.

(Recall gap.)

A monster creature of sorts. I remember he spoke and said something. He was a very vivid red colour and sort of made up of tendrils. He had to be defeated by some specific means by I've forgotten the details.

26th October 2020

Dream:

In the earliest part I was in some kind of tower block. I was there with someone else at some point? I tried breaking into a flat from a maintenance area, looked like ventilation ducting but on a large scale. I took my boots off here, for some reason; but some goblin or gremlin came and stole my boots and I couldn't react in time but just carried on. I remember noticing I did have my regular clothes on and for the rest of the dream I was in bare feet. It had bothered me at first as it would in waking life, but I ended up getting used to it as I simply had no other choice.

I remember going up to the top level of the building. Reminds me of the stairwell at the old home. I met two admin-like people who worked here, there was an office. I wanted my boots found and tried to demand that they do something about the creatures like the one that took my boots.

In some later part of the dream I'm on a ground floor and there are quite a lot more people around. It's some kind of large lobby area. Reminds me of big hotels and airports in some way. I met a priest and he was corrupt somehow but I don't recall the details about it.

28th October 2020

Fragment:

I'm apparently stranded on some high tier corrosive planet. There's a purple tinge to the atmosphere and I'm in a semi-cavernous area. I try to contribute to someone's build with some rock blocks but Xenomorph-like creatures come out from a lower area and I deal with them one at a time, but I'm not sure what I used. They each looked like a mix of between a Praetorian and a Drone.

---

Notes:

- When I woke up from the tower block dream, I was a bit surprised by how consistent the dream had been with the detail of my boots being absent. Lately I have noticed that dreams are having more consistency in terms of "continuity" (like on TV shows, etc.) I remember in some other recent dream I made a non-lucid comment to a dream character about how what they were doing wasn't abiding by dream consistency or something like that; I can't remember if I did already make note of that dream or not. That dream I had recently in a desert area with the troops was particularly consistent with itself too, for the most part, I think I may have made a note about it there too.

- I've recently had thoughts about an old Alien game which may have been part of why they featured in one of these dreams. I have been wanting to get that game working again but haven't really given it the time of day to manage it. But there are other reasons they may have featured in that dream; I often think I should go and look at more of Giger's work but rarely actually do, as other things end up taking prominence in my mind. I suppose there's a theme here of things getting pushed back in terms of priority...

21st October 2020

There was a big dream from my first awakening but I couldn't retain recall.

Fragment:

In a shop with H. There are big standing fridges, the type with glass doors. We are looking at some supplements or something and H points at a few different ones. I want to pick something not too expensive. I think some of these are vitamin B supplements.

Fragment:

In an old warehouse building? Dark and dingy. But I'm here with a girl, she's white, about my height and age, maybe older, she has loose hair, fake blonde or blonde. Reminds me of Ellie from NCIS and other characters of similar archetypes. We're both naked and aroused as we're playing some kind of sexy game of catch. At one point she's taunting me playfully and because she sticks out her arm towards me I grab her by the arm and pull her toward me. She laughs in her defeat and we get more intimate.

(Recall gap.)

Then I'm on my own and I wander toward a dirtier area. The dream starts to mix with BL and there's some area I can't get through because it's claimed and has locked doors. I hear people talking beyond the doors, making plans. I decide to try and dig my way around into their town.

Fragment:

Walking up a place like the nearby bridge over the station. Rest of recall gone.

---

Notes:

- Although most of my recall of these fragments is very limited now, I still have a bit of the visual recall of the dream in the warehouse. Despite it being a dark and somewhat empty place, there was light coming in through some windows near the top of one of the walls. In a way, this warehouse has some resemblance to the gym space where I had a lot of PE lessons.

- The warehouse area seems like an odd place to me for something erotic to happen, as I tend to be somewhat averse to dirt, but in the last year I have had to get into dirty areas more often because of helping H with work. The girl's presence and our interactions may have been some metaphor of our relationship manifesting itself in the dream. I often wish I could be more romantic as in that dream, but I am often too tired and too preoccupied with my internal worries to feel like I can initiate something like that properly.

7th September 2020

Dream:

At a village of some kind, there's a crypt building? It's hidden away behind bushes and completely blocked in by trash and rubbish, the locals don't care about it anymore.

I hesitate because of feeling like things will be dirty, but I start to lob some bin bags out of the way. I'm expecting I'll uncover a stone staircase down into the crypt but eventually I uncover a metal lid instead.

I see an axe, it's been together with steel sections, it looks new. I pick it up and wedge it in between the lid and the floor and pry it open with some leverage. It works and I go in, down a ladder? Then I'm in some sort of ancient dilapidated engineering section. There are catwalks, everything's metal but nothing seems rusty or oxidised in any sense but I think the metals appear dull. The structure I'm on seems to be over an endless black pit. For some reason this doesn't bother me, it feels solid?

Then I'm holding the axe in my left hand, my phone on my right, using its torch. I realise that if danger were to show up I'll be having a hard time swinging the axe this way, so I swap hands. I wander and go through several different sections of this area. Some zed-like clones start appearing.

Using the axe, I swing aiming for their heads, my reach seems to exceed what it should be but I seem to be having trouble killing them. I don't remember what happened, but then I'm further into the compound. I find something in a different area which is more office-like. A magical artifact of some kind? It's why I was here, but what was it? Some golden dust bracers or something?

There's a tiny bit of a Fallout feel to the whole place but I'm thinking now it also reminds me of Stanley's parable and the back-areas of Portal. At some point some back-up power comes on.

(Transition or recall gap)

At a mansion of some kind. It's connected secretly, I'm speaking to someone and some dream character is a dear friend of mine, apparently. Vague memory of Patrick Stewart or Captain Picard? But I am hesitant to share details about this artifact thing. But I tell him that it could be used to control all of humanity, despite the fact that it could also be used to usher some new era of technology that would be of great benefit to everyone. Visions of this.

In the mansion place there is some kind of lift thing in an ornate square room, wooden panelling. The lift is cylindrical? Floor is made of glass, lots of teal/cyan light coming from below.

(Chronology of the dream is messed up)

I'm in Un'goro, I'm a hunter and kill a Horde hunter, level 68. Don't see my level but assume 60. Get him with an aimed shot.

Some bit out in a street. There's a Toshiba drive-by? They fail but then I'm shooting arrows at them.

(gap)

Back at the secret bunker place. I remember lifts several times. One time, one of them leads to the surface, something about the artifact. I remember sea all around and then when I get the artifact out of a bag or something there's 59 notifications on a UI from admirals and 100+ from other individuals or nations. They all want the artifact. I did read through the messages from the admirals but it's basically all crap, demanding the artifact some more politely than others.

(gap)

Back at the bunker place. In an office room with lobby. I leave the room, and I'm outside but still within the premises of the compound. There's lots of wild vegetation and some wire fence delimiting the premises. H is with me now, he's doing something with an odd-looking metal door. I wait while he does this and look around. Then I see a mini-helicopter thing. It's right here next to us but they don't spot us right away, it's flying no more than a few feet off the ground and there's a military man riding on top of it, doing weird acrobatics involving the helicopter's blade. I tell H to look and we both greet the man casually. I was afraid he'd alert someone but he didn't.

(transition)

Then inside the helicopter, it's massive, impossibly big, but still low in terms of headroom. This military guy and the pilot are sitting on a cushioned bit and we're talking. They are about our age or younger, I think to myself how they don't seem very imposing even as military without their uniforms, as they are now in casual wear. I wake up at some point here.

---

Notes:

- This dream was incredibly long and many details are missing, including character interactions. The recall chronology was a bit off too somehow.
- The themes in the dream seemed to mostly revolve around exploration and finding some kind of rare/valuable treasure, effectively.

3rd September 2020

Fragment:

Some garden, part of a big house. Remember being there with someone else but not sure who now; also there were some dream characters that were like old schoolmates? I remember the house vaguely, a bit like a manor and fancy glass? Gardens with low hedges.

Then I remember walking down a street, typical appearance of my native country, cobbled paths, a road in along the middle, walls painted a white colour. It was daytime, overcast? At a church entrance with my sibling T and at some point we're both waiting for dad, but eventually we go in I think. Dad had gone to a car garage?

The church was at the end of the street from before. The church was built out of big limestone blocks.

4th September 2020

Fragment:

End of dream, dark area, maybe night time. Sort of urban? There were buildings and maybe scaffolding, wooden planking. There was this wide open hall area but it was still dark or poorly lit and it lead into a more central chamber. Maybe there was a hole in the middle of that chamber? There was a very blue light coming from below and a boss of some kind. Felt like a mix of KF and WoW and the area seemed inspired by the Sceptre of God in PoE.

---

Notes:

- The church from the first fragment bears some resemblance to the church we used to go to as a family when I was younger.
- I'm thinking now that it's interesting that dreams don't often feature dad, but in this case the dream featured an absence of dad. In my childhood I often felt dad was a bit absent. Besides mom, T was probably who I spent most time with from the direct family.
- The blue light has made me curious. Blue lights often have a sort of recurring/stereotypical appearance in dark areas for me if I look back through dreams. There's usually an accompanying sense of mystery.

14th June 2020

Dream Fragment:

In some altered version of our house, with H. I remember a greenhouse of sorts around back, it was dark.

Transition? Another scene, still same area. Me and H walking around and there's this Polish lady and in the dream she is a neighbour of ours. She has a kid or two, and a husband who is away at the moment.

We hear her talk in her native language to her child, who is indoors. She's sitting on a dark grey fibreglass chair outside, our garden areas are apparently joined together. Her house isn't lined up straight with ours though, it's set further back, so the door leading inside her house from the "back" is technically on the side of her house, not the front or back.

I remember we spoke to her, she wanted something, like something done for her or fixed for her perhaps.

---

Notes:
- In the dream I remember that my knowledge about her family was simply intuitive, as if we'd known the family casually for years.
- While I don't really remember the lady's appearance or her children's appearance, I have the feeling she had black, tied-back hair. This fits some character archetype my dream mind keeps constructing from time to time.

- I am recalling, having written the above note, that I had a short-term friend (Ca) when I was a kid, who sort of matched this description; she was particularly tall despite being about the same age but she did get some abuse from other kids for that, since kids always find ways of being mean. I remember for a few years I'd always been a bit sad we didn't stay in touch or remain friends since we didn't stay in touch, but to be honest at some point I just don't even remember seeing her anymore, despite the fact that my home town was fairly condensed and most people knew each other in some vague way at the very least. During my childhood she was one of few girls with whom I got along with quite well.

- I think my dream mind likes to feature different families with children of their own as a window into what that life might be like.
- The backyard, oddly enough, was actually grassy, unlike the concrete backyard we do have at our current home.

29th May

Dream Fragment:

I remember little of most of the dream. Just one part stands out.

I was being shown someone's pet or something. It was a cat at first but then it was a hyena. It was on a stand or pedestal of sorts and the animal itself looked elongated compared to what I'd expect.

Then the person showing me the hyena, was telling me something about its urinary system and they put their hand sort of inside the hyena from underneath and pulled out a very large fleshy and desaturated pink sac.

Some explanation was given to me. I didn't feel any disgust and was curious about the anatomy and around this point I realised the hyena looked to be sort of split into three parts but still joined together by some spinning tube thing between each sectioned part. I remember the hyena's head was turned toward us most of the time and was panting. Something about this segment reminds me of having the dog at the vet.

Dream Fragment:

Maybe this was the first dream. Something about H and our friend C. I remember we were at our house, or some version of it. H was concerned about someone breaking into the shed and I reassured H by pointing at a very Sims-like alarm system installed just to the side of the shed door.

I remember it was a dark night but there was a full moon in sight. The ambience looked darker than it should have done considering the full moon and how big/close it appeared to be.

---

Notes:

- The alarm system from the Sims should have been a somewhat obvious dream sign.
- The dream with the hyena, while similar in feel to the experience of having the dog at the vet, was probably just a manifestation of the interest I have in analysing anatomy from a hands-on approach. My lack of disgust or similar feeling is somewhat unusual within the context of automatic reactions, but perhaps is some indication that I could overcome such reactions more easily with training or simply by being exposed to this type of demonstration on a regular basis. I often feel sad that things have to die for us to have a better look at them and this aspect and the fleshy sac both relate directly to how I feel about meat in cooking, at times.
- I believe the rotating tube sections were simply the dream mind's way of justifying the body being split in three sections while the creature was still alive with no pain. In a way it felt a bit like something I might be able to do with a 3D model and perhaps that's part of where this originated too.

21st May

Bits from one or two dreams? Didn't make notes in the morning, was too tired.

Dream Fragment:

I was in a desert or barren canyon type of place. I was driving some kind of motorbike, called the "MotorBeast" or something to that effect. I remember accelerating with my right hand and making note of the extremely loud roar from the exhaust. I did some acrobatics or was in some high speed sequence?

Next thing I remember, different place, but related in some way. There was a dream character, he was simultaneously my teacher and an avatar of Anubis. But we had to fight and so he was like a boss of some sort. I remember chasing him through this dark and ancient Egyptian temple/crypt place. There was a dark red tint to everything and even though daylight broke through the ceiling in certain parts, it was still dark, like the exposure made dark places appear brighter but bright places appear much darker.

I remember the character taunted me from behind a half wall and pillars. I couldn't reach him but shot him with a Torgue grenade launcher set to sticky mode. I remember the feeling of holding the weapon with only my right hand and the feeling of pointing it. It felt intuitive, but in retrospect it seemed far too light for what it was. After emptying my clip, the explosives went off in sequence, causing him heavy damage. He was nearly dead (I knew through some interface display?) but he was able to run very fast through a narrow hall crowded with unknown dream characters, which were his minions. I believe they looked like mummies.

Eventually I caught up to him, finding him in a small room around a corner, where he was using some kind of self-bandaging ability (like in WoW). I tried shooting him to interrupt it, but I think something happened right after I did that, and the dream ended.

---

Notes:
- The bit where the Anubis character ran away at high speed when on low health now reminds me that some boss in Killing Floor did something similar.
- The Torgue weapon was notable because I'd recently been playing BL3 and I always loved the Torgue shotguns in BL2; it should have been a somewhat obvious dream-sign here since it was somewhat out of place in the rest of the dream's context.
- Though I didn't think of this at the time of this dream, I now feel as though there is a bit of a link between the motorbike and the Torgue gun since those guns are typically modelled after big engines and the like. The dream felt more randomly put together at the time but I feel like I could unpick it better now in terms of contextual/schematic associations.

11th May

Dream:Earliest dream. I was in some place in the countryside, the dream was very vivid. I had my boots on, some pants, some t-shirt and my leather jacket. H was walking with me, I remember feeling the gravel beneath my feet.

In the dream I was recognising the place. I'd been here before in some other dream. This prompted me to tell H about it and he sort of dismissed it and even though I tried doing some reality checks with my hands, I didn't become aware of the dream state.

In my dream mind, this place wasn't exactly like how I remembered it from the other dream anyway. There was a gravel road and some buildings and some gravel plots along it, but the original place I was remembering had a normal road and it carried on, it didn't end abruptly like this gravel road. It reminded me of the southern areas of my country. There were pine trees and short grass that looked a bit dry. The dirt was fine and dusty and caramel coloured. The sky was a little bit cloudy but mostly clear and it seemed like the sun was setting. I remember looking all around me to try and identify anything from the original dream, but I felt there was nothing. The surroundings looked vast and vague at the same time.

After walking along the road with H for a while, we eventually came to a very large gravel lot, like a parking lot, clearly meant for that use. I remember H telling me to wait here. He had to get some book, or something, from town? I said I'd wait. I didn't know what I'd do in the meantime and I had the feeling that it would be a long time. Then my awareness transitioned to some other place.

A dream city. H wasn't here and though I have forgotten the dream plot exactly, there was something about a family that had to get to where I just was (the gravel/pine tree area). I was here to speed things along somehow? Something about a gang going after this family.

Then details are missing; I remember getting into a car, a silver convertible and also trying to fix down a panel on the boot or something. Then the mom of this family, who was driving, started the car before I'd even sat down and put a seatbelt on. She raced through the streets and I had little balance, tipping backwards and holding the open and swaying door with my right hand. I was partially sat on her son's legs, eventually he managed to help me in, but it took a while.

Some other part of the same dream. The chronology of the sequences is muddled. I went into a tall building and I remember carrying my black backpack and climbing lots of stairs. I didn't feel tired at all and my legs didn't hurt. Along the way, some young adult (early 20s) tugged on my backpack to have an easier time climbing. I resent that he'd done that but I said nothing and only gave him a look that made it clear to him not to do it again.

The staircase was very much like the one from my university. Very narrow, but no lift at each landing. Eventually I got to a pretty high floor, and it looked like my virtual gallery in some sense. There was a high open space that my fear of heights creep in a little, because there were no railings at all. I remember wondering what H would think of that.

Just behind the stairwell I'd come from, was a platform/floor and I climbed over its ledge without too much effort. It led down a dark unlit and narrow corridor. At the end of it was another stairwell, to my left. It went both up and down. There was a door directly in front of me. A white service door to my right after a short and narrow yard-long hall. Light came through the edges of this white service door and the stairs going up also allowed some natural light in from above, but not much, as it was still very dark in here.

On the stairs, a bunch of young adults (early 20s again) were sat on the steps. They looked at me, but more like through me. I looked back for a moment, but then ignored them. I tried opening the door in front of me but it was well shut and locked. I went back through the narrow corridor I'd come from and then skipped over the gap with the stairs and took a left turn. My mind blocked out the open space with no railings.

There were corridors and rooms this way. Many contrasts of dark and narrow halls with natural light from some windows. The floor was carpeted, not sure what colour, but I remember a cleaning lady. It just looked like a hotel in many regards but the rooms belonged to specific people who worked here or something, like an office area in a university. I can't recall the rest of the dream.

---

Notes:
- In many ways, the last part of the dream was just some mish-mash of my first university's building and my general concepts of offices and temporary living spaces. The presence of the people in their early 20s ties in with the "university" feel.
- It can feel a bit annoying to ask H about the reality and have him only make me dismiss what I'm thinking about, though since then I have tried to imagine the situation occurring differently.
- My leather jacket seems to have been a recurring feature for some recent dreams but I haven't found any particular reason why just yet, since I have not worn it in a long time. The only thing that comes to mind is that feels like a bit of a shame that I just let it sit unused for quite a long time, but on the other hand it is usually too hot for me to wear it.
- Dreams where physical activity occurs are always refreshing for me in some mental sense. Being able to do intense physical activity such as climbing many flights of stairs can feel rewarding and the amount of inordinate pain I would get from doing it in real-life makes it feel like a waste of my energy and time. In dreams my low thresholds of pain don't really materialise and it is often the only time I get a break from feeling pain and discomfort throughout a day.

4th May

Fragment:

A few dreams, the last one was in some kind of hotel room with two of my cousins, from dad's side. I don't remember much furniture at all We had some backpacks, mine was nothing like I've ever owned however. It was blue, bulky and square-ish; I have seen these in the past and have wondered what it would be like to have one, often thinking they are "cool".

But for some reason, we all got naked; there was some kind of pretext about us being smelly at the end of the day or something; then the two of them went to shower. I remember peeking through the somewhat open bathroom door and seeing two walk-in shower/wetroom areas, but only one shower head/hose. C was washing herself, and then her sister in turns. I think they were giggling for some reason.

Dream:

Not sure where or how this one started but I was in a city; sunny and stray white clouds. I remember lots of cut limestone blocks in the buildingwork, so it was like areas from my old home. This place was very busy, it was like one of the town/city areas with lots of public space. R from university was there. At first I walked right past him, it took me a while to recognise him.

His hair was slightly curled rather than flat. He was sitting or leaning against a wide limestone edge and was sweet talking with his girlfriend who was practically in his face and vice versa. I retraced some steps back as I realised it was him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and greeted me, apparently happy to see him. I remember conversation, but not its content.

A transition? I'm somewhere entirely different, I can't recall the environment very well but I can only describe it as dirty and gritty. Dominant hues in red, orange and moss green.

There was a small apartment building here, not far from a road, fourty to sixty yards. The building had a kind of trough dug around it, but not very deep, no more than a foot deep. More like a small dip really, and outside the trough circling the building, was a effectively a circular pile of guns. There were so many piled up I can't even guess at the number. Some had bright colours. Reminds me of Borderlands somehow. I remember going inside and walking through some poorly lit halls until I came to a flat that was quite small, the door was wide open. It looked a mess. There were some closed curtains and the room was poorly lit too. Outside still seemed dark-ish.

I think I was here with someone, maybe H? But I don't remember what else happened in the room. I think there was a third person, a woman possibly. Then I remember being outside the building, I'm walking over the pile of guns carefully as I assume them all to be loaded. I look to my right and there's this shack made of corrugated panels or the like and there's a gang hanging out there.

Some woman, possibly the one from before, stands next to me and tells me I should go talk to them. They've been causing havoc for some time in the region/area. I agree at first but then I look down and see some blue and red grenade launchers. I pick them up, not as heavy as I might expect. I turn to the left and aim at a tree or something which is at a similar distance to me as the gang was. I fire a few practice shots. I then quickly turn back towards the gang and start firing a hail of grenades over their shack. They grab some guns and start running towards me shouting and shooting with poor aim. I remember noticing a health display of sorts over some of them that were injured. They got quite close, but I still kept using the grenades to fight them.

Recall fades a bit but then there was a transition and I remember being in some hallways, dark and moonlit. My recall stops about here.

Mostly just one long dream and a small disjointed fragment from an early awakening.

---

Dream Fragment:

Something about a physical vault for porn; it was a gazebo-like building in the middle of a tiny island surrounded by a lot of water, but there were some nearby cliffs. I remember seeing it from there. H was in the dream and I remember feeling aroused from some of the images. I was sorting them, like they were in a computer file system. I wanted to finish what I was doing and spend some time together with H after I was done.

Dream:

Me and H were in the car. We were somewhere in Northern Ireland, we'd gotten there by boat but I don't have a dream memory of the boat trip. We drove through a few small villages. I remember someone telling me or talking about the weather, about how this little village here was always damp, wet, and cold. There were some very curvy roads, surrounded by nice and scenic woodland. Along the way two old men were just waddling about the literal middle of the road and I told H to slow down and be careful, since I was afraid we might hit someone like them. H didn't seem too bothered but slowed a bit.

We went up some hills, eventually we arrived somewhere. We came here for an appointment apparently. Initially in the dream I was confused, because I didn't remember having any appointments coming up soon, but it was for H actually. I remember being at the lobby/desk and "checking in", I was asked for a name and gave mine, and I remember looking away at a clock on a wall and saying it was a 12:30 appointment. The man said something but I don't remember what, but everything was OK anyway.

Then I went into a bathroom. It didn't have lights? But it had some natural light, but it was still dim. I don't remember what I was wearing up to this point, but now I was changing clothes, getting dressed as if going to bed. I had no pants on or anything but my top was the same one I actually slept with. The dark green one, which is long enough that it covered my private areas, so I just walked out of the bathroom not caring too much about it, walking more or less straight ahead, as I could see H sitting on a chair in a room, through a door. Understandably I did get some strange looks and glances from the nurses/staff as I walked towards that room.

I walked into the room and expected the therapist would close the door. She didn't, but then it closed itself, or I did it. The room was small and plain with a typical office-like look, but it only had two walls, the one with the door, and the one behind where me and H were sitting. There was no ceiling and beyond the two missing wall sections was a green area, and some kind of stadium? I remember waiting for the therapist to say something. At this point, I was still in some dream-confusion about whether this appointment was for myself or H. But then H spoke and I encouraged it too, so they'd talk about some anxiety stuff. This part of the dream recall is a bit vague for some reason but some people across the way interrupted the therapist somehow; they shouted, calling for attention or notifying her of something?

She seemed embarrassed and also unsure of herself. I remember she looked a bit like H's sister, but was naturally blonde and had at least twenty or more years on us. A bit out of nowhere, her superior showed up, a tall man in a suit, juxtaposing with her naturally small stature. He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting way and told her something, but they were too far for me to hear.

At some point through all of that I remember noticing my bare left knee. Before sleeping, the past night, my knee had been having burning sensations and hypersensitivity. When I looked at my knee now in the dream, I could see a circle of strange bumps, with somewhat concentric lines of more bumps on the inside of that circle.

There's a transition of some kind. All of a sudden we're elsewhere, home maybe? I tell H I can't remember how we got here. I tell H that I have no recall of a trip back here and I feel confused, but do not remember to question reality.

The next thing I remember is we're in a mine of some kind. Dark, poorly lit, but the lights are a warm colour. Details are missing. At some point, I see a grenade on the floor, over a grate of some kind. Oddly enough, I'm unafraid of the grate despite realising there's a bottomless pit under it, and I see the grenade still has its safety pin. I grab it and inspect it. I remember H talking to me and me to H as I was doing this. On the grenade, with the bad lighting, I try to read for instructions; although I have a general idea of how it should work, this grenade seemed very small, I could make a fully closed fist around it. The only writing I could see on it was a lot number of some kind. It was difficult to read because of the light and the fact that it was just sort of embossed into the surface, there was no contrasting pigment. It read "l624" or something.

Disappointed by the lack of instructions, I threw it gently over onto a nearby tunnel that was lit by a lamp. I didn't want to hold on to it if I couldn't be sure how it worked. But then I detonated it or something, but while there was a big blast, there wasn't much light or noise. Virtually no damage occurred either.

Then I remember walking up a slope in the mine with H, and as we were about to exit the mine (which in the context of the dream was like our hideout) for some reason, a woman about our age showed up. She just walked in but was not hostile to us. A small-ish bear and a wolf of the same size followed her. She had semi-blonde and very curly hair. We both spoke to her and the animals went into the mine to sleep; H stayed speaking to her and I followed the animals, finding them asleep. I gently woke the wolf up and he growled at me, I was unafraid and let him feel that I was happy he was interacting with me. I let him sniff my hand and then he seemed to like me. Then I got some notifications on some interface overlay that the girl favourited some things I'd posted? It didn't make much sense. But now she like me and H more.

The last bit of the dream is kind of gone from memory now, but it involved some refugees she was helping and that we were then helping too.

---

Might edit in some notes later but a bit tired of typing.

I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.

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Dream Fragment:

H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

Dream Fragment:

Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

Dream Fragment:

This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

Dream Fragment:

Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.

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Notes:
- I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
- In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.

One fairly long dream at least, though I had others this was the most prominent on my mind after waking up and even so I didn't make note of all of it.

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Dream:

A sequence about Diablo 3. There was a new expansion for the game or something and they were finally continuing the prime evil storyline but the plot was still kind of convoluted and somehow involved time travel to go back to the time of creation of the evils. But then this angel said (to me and other characters?) that we'd have to go even further back than that. Passing thoughts about the creation of time.

I remember having an interface like in the game and quickly found out that something that had been changed was that you could now make any ability/rune combination use any element, as well as some other bonus I don't remember. Just shortly after changing some abilities, while I was looking through these things I think, a treasure goblin appeared and I chased after him. I was going to try using cleave and rend again (I typically always use weapon throw especially because of enemies like the goblins) but the goblin run just fast enough that small mistakes made me not able to catch up to him. At that moment I was immediately regretting having cleave as my primary ability instead of weapon throw.

Eventually he stopped to do one of his little scripted "look-around" animations and I caught up, quickly getting his health down to 1. This annoyed me because he was technically dead but the animation had to finish for him to properly die.

Then I swapped my abilities back and this time I was going to have weapon throw again but with a bleeding effect (literal in the dream but just general DoT) and with poison elemental damage. But I realised I wasn't sure what my most boosted element was so I tried to find the interface bit where it showed these values but somehow I'd completely forgotten where that was. I looked physically for it? And ended up finding it displayed somehow but also some electrolytic capacitors. I saw the poison was 400 and something % and decided that it was the strongest I had.

Some time later (transition?) I got on some sort of magical stone lift. Yellow beams of light were coming from underneath it, just where there were gaps between the lift and the surround it fit into. It was on a cliffside. I remember fog and a generally nightly and blueish atmosphere. Across from me was a portal, with purple fog coming out of it and I thought that should be the time portal. The lift started descending and I felt like it took me to the past somehow, or perhaps I was already in the past and I'd already come through the portal (portal potentially being the dream "explanation" of being here with no transition).

Down at the bottom was a cave of some sort, as I remember. Fairly light coloured stone, but dark in there.

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Notes:
- The bit with the goblin was a mix of places, like from Mephisto's lair in D2 and the invaded angelic towers from D3.
- In this bit I remember the camera/view angle was like in D3.
- The dream went on even after the cave at the bottom of the lift and while I did initially have recall of those parts of the dream, because I didn't make note of them in the morning, the recall beyond that point is completely gone now.
- This is the first D3 dream I remember having, but I'll have to go back through my previous notes and DJ entries to be sure.

Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall.

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Dream Fragment:

I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car.

We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car.

I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side.

At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall.

Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something.

Dream Fragment:

Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however.

I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago.

He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?].

I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply.

Dream Fragment:

There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind.

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Notes:

- In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern.
- In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least.
- Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here.
- I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.

Went back to a half sleep after waking in the morning. Had a small moment of lucidity, the first one for quite some time. Made note of as much as I could before I had to get up to help with something.

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Dream Fragment:

The only dream I can vaguely remember before my first awakening. Something about a character that walks around some snowy place, finds something and goes back to the past in a pretty stereotypical UFO. Lands at the same place and stumbles on the snow and becomes sort of blue? I expect him to meet himself again but he doesn't, instead meeting an old man. They talk.

They have a discussion about time travel and the past. The man is skeptical but then the other character says something that convinces him and the man states "it's 1976" and the other one says "I came from 2070" or a similar year. He tells the man about how in the future the knowledge of the past, after a certain point, is just unknown. He tries to convince the old man of this by stating facts about history, going back, up to the point where he simply didn't know anything else.

Dream:

As I fell back asleep slowly, the dream seemed to progress quickly. I was half aware of my real body at a few points and the clarity of the visuals varied quite a bit. I was with H somewhere.

There was this guy and his dad, they weren't very happy with each other. The son was dating a teacher, a woman, at his school. Then she found out that his dad was married and that mattered for some reason.

I remember walking outside, near these people. They sort of became part of the background of what was going on and I notice the area is by a large river, or sea. There are quays and the area looks like a port or dock. It's sunny and there are a few large white clouds in the distance.

Me and H, we walk towards a building closer to the dock area. I don't remember walking in, but we're inside. It's a large room, much darker than being outside but there are bits of sunlight here and there, but I don't notice where they come through. There are quite a few people here, this feels like a lobby, or waiting room, for departures?

On the right-hand wall, there's a massive hole and strange rocky formation. I approach it and notice how smooth it is. I look inside, it looks perfectly smooth and the rock is a yellowed off-white but there are tinges of green here and there. There are smaller but perfectly smooth and rounded holes on the rock. It reminds me of pumice and it made me think that lava made this hole. I visualise that happening? Not sure.

I walk outside, as there is a door or passageway next to the hole. This wall of the building was actually some sort of dark tinted glass, and I could already see from inside that this side was some sort of canyon.

There are paths along either side, but there are no connections between these paths except for the lobby place. The rock is all the same as the one from the "volcanic hole". I remember looking at the cliff tops higher than us and noticing the sky looks green-ish. But as I walk here, I realise, wait, how was that hole there? It just wasn't right. I half realise I'm dreaming and at this point I feel my real body more, but in the dream I check my hands. Although they appear normal, there seems to be little detail and I realise I'm dreaming.

The realisation is quickly overpowered by a bunch of random actions, my level of lucidity actually being very low. As if it were a game, I start placing a prop over and over again, along the canyon path I'm on. The prop is a study desk with drawers, with a chair too. H then tells me we don't need them for some reason. My dream awareness starts to go again at this point. I start smashing the chairs against the edge of the cliff and throwing the stuff down the ravine. It all hits the ground too quickly for how deep this place looks and I complain out loud to H "this is a dream, that's a deep canyon, the chairs shouldn't be dropping a metre and then smashing, that's too quick!", half with the expectation that something would change about it, but nothing did. We keep smashing and throwing the furniture for a while, after which I've lost any amount of awareness I had left and we return to the dream plot.

At the end of the path is a similar building. We go in, and it's dark. Again it also had an entrance on the other side of the canyon where the second path was. Inside it looks like someone's private office. Well decorated and tidy, the walls had a mix of plasterwork and floral motif patterned wallpaper.

The wall at the other end of the room, behind a desk and so on, seemed solid, but as we approached, it smashed or crumbled. On the other side is a lobby full of people, at a lower height, but not much. I talk to H, but don't remember what we said exactly, except that I expressed some concerns about dealing with these people. They were university students. There were a bunch of signs and notices in the room, mostly about events?

I decide that we can proceed and I step over the rubble and walk down a small ramp made by the rubble. A girl, not much younger than me, sees me and when I comment something to H she says "well we don't want you here anyway, you look like a scary punk!". I feel complimented and somehow her comment made me feel more confident. I approach her and put my hands on her shoulders and smile, in a half attempt to scare her a bit more and in a half attempt to thank her.

I then walk away towards a corridor that took a right turn on the opposite side of the room, but I don't remember any more details.

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No notes for now, quite tired.

Only some small fragments. Didn't make notes on getting up and the DJ wasn't the first priority after getting up.

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Dream Fragment:

I was helping or teaching a small boy. He was from a village called Fargoth? It was South-East from wherever I was, somewhere in the North of England. I remember seeing it on a map, a mix of an online map and a city-building game map. I remember we looked at maps together too, he talked about Spain for some reason and I remember zooming in on the deserts and seeing farmland.

Dream Fragment:

I was helping a North American general, he wanted to take me and a group to battle somewhere specific. In the dream I had already been in battle at that place before. The general must have been in his fifties but had white hair for the most part. I remember he had a typical US soldier's helmet from decades past, not a modern one.

We went to the place and we were under fire from pretty much all directions. I remember it was dark and atmospheric, the sky was a certain mix of red and black and smoke. The general wanted to go after a certain Zen-Chi and so I lead him up a hill where I knew he was firing from or something. This entire location had small houses and maybe was a small fort or old castle? I remember a little market thing, in ruins.

At the top of this climb, mostly stone steps, there was a wooden shed. There were loads of woodworking tools on the outside, and other sharp implements that had nothing to do with woodworking.

The general wanted to go head in, I stopped him physically. I told him he couldn't, that was exactly how I'd lost a friend to Zen-Chi myself and so I decided we'd taunt him a little first. We shouted at him from outside to try and unsettle him; then we opened the creaky wooden door. It was brighter inside, there were some tungsten bulbs lighting the place. There were physical separations or curtains all over the inside, but before I went in, from the tool rack, I grabbed a long and heavy metal rod that had a perfect point at one end. It was like a cast aluminium javelin, it was odd.

Despite it's length I managed to manoeuvre inside with it. I motioned for the general to stay back and I crouched, seeing under the separators inside the shed. I could see Zen-Chi's feet. I approached slowly and heard him taunt back at us now, I can't remember what he said.

Then, when I was close enough, I struck his foot with the sharp point of the javelin, quickly pulling it back and then I think I got up and opened the barrier, which was a curtain after all, and struck Zen-Chi in the head with the sharp point, then his chest.

In that moment it was somewhat unsettling to strike him on the head, which made me feel as though I'd hesitated, but I wanted to be sure he'd die, hence the second strike on the chest.

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Notes:
- The hesitation and unsettling feeling of striking someone in the head so brutally like I did against this dream character reflects well how I feel about certain situations in fighting. I feel it's somewhat foul to destroy someone's face and head, not to mention it paints a very gruesome picture in my imagination.

- The plot of that dream was pretty generic, as I have no special reason to have been on either side of the dream's conflict.

- In waking life, H pointed out that Zen-Chi seems like a pretty generic name, which may even not be a name at all, since it's just two oriental words relating to the spiritual and meditative worlds.

- When Zen-Chi was dying, he had an expression of surprise on his face. I'm remembering now that one of the taunts that me or the general shouted at him was that we'd take all his woodworking tools once we were done with him.

- The dream where I was helping the boy was much longer, but because I didn't make any notes and had it very early on in the morning, very few details were retained through sleeping again and having the second dream.

- The red, black and smoke of the second dream reminded me of Stratholme in World of Warcraft. It sort of seemed to imply that the atmosphere itself was practically on fire, but during that dream I remember seeing tracer bullets and shells flying above us, very similar to a tank game I've played recently.