DarkestDarkness

Non-dream stuff; woke up at around 8:30 and had a dream (the first fragment) but couldn't remember it that well so went back to sleep again and woke up at 10:10 and then came to the computer to write down all of the non-lucid dream stuff below. It took about 40mins to write everything, not counting the notes...

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Dream fragment 1:

I don't remember much here, but I was at a place similar to the house I'm in now, in waking life. It was day, near the end of the day and I was out at the back as were other neighbours. The walls were short, instead of being tall like in waking life and the view was not of a town but of the countryside. This area seemed to resemble an area a bit west of where I live.

There was a black cat. And it was playful and smart and it would catch mice and handle them differently to other cats. At one point I'm sure this cat talked. But something was odd about him, he was too smart and so I grabbed him and realised his fur was not that of a cat at all, even though he looked like a black cat, he was some sort of little raccoon thing that had tricked us and recently there were fires out in peoples back gardens, small fires, and I knew he was the cause, as I saw him play with matches before. I got rid of him somehow, in a way that wouldn't make him return, but I don't remember what I did. (Have the distinct impression I gave him a good smacking for being a cheeky little thing)

Dream sequence 2:

I was in the car with my partner, I was as usual in my passenger seat and we were driving along a motorway. It was night and there was nobody else on the road. At times my perception of vision changed, to outside the car to scenic views of the road. We went around a long corner and I could see mountains in the distnae as well as forest closer by. I remember seeing displays with double green arrows on them, like it was a racetrack or something, but it wasn't, even in the dream's context. As we kept going we reached a part where the 3-lane road was splitting into two 2-lane roads, one which ramped down.

We continued head on and then there were some cars on-coming on one of the lanes and their driving looked a bit funny; as we reached the end of this road segment we realised that had been a one-way 2-lane road and just everyone else was avoiding us.

I remember we were waiting in a queue to get into a petrol station to get fuel, and it was day at this point.

Dream sequence 3:

I remember being at some sort of hall, that looked like a supermarket really, but there were big theatre curtains and lights and I was there supposedly with my partner, but he looked different, though I felt it was him in the dream. Then there was another man, a dream-character I've not seen and he looked smug. He approached us and there was some sort of crew getting things ready for presenting him and in the dream I was aware that my partner had to go with this guy to the stage for some reason. They gave this man the cue to go on stage (which was not raised, since this was a supermarket...) and I peeked from behind the curtain and saw the spotlights focus on him. I looked at my partner saying "come on you gotta get on there" and he didn't say anything and started to look pale white, and I asked some relatives of this other man what should we do and they were shrugging and saying they didn't know.

Eventually we both went on to the stage and the smug man was surrounded by upper-class looking people and when we approached him he smiled at us and welcomed us but we could see he had that "I'm actually really angry" smile.

The next thing I remember was that I was in some sort of mine or cave, and now things looked like a game, but the smug man was here somewhere too and my partner was at a house and I just knew where it was. I got on a mine cart of some description and sped up, trying to "remember" (in the dream context) where to go, going over some abyss on the rails at one point and then reaching a split and deciding to continue going the way I was already going. I reached an end and though the caves were dark I distinctly remember they looked a dark de-saturated blue. The smug man had caught up and was here already, and I was starting to want to get away aster. Here there was a wooden door and for some reason I knew it just led me to more caves so I opened up some interface and "pressed" a H key which made me start using an item or spell.

It teleported me to the house my partner was at, which was like it was out of Hanzel and Gretel but bigger and as a mansion. It was day and there were some clouds. I walked in and told my partner the man was coming. I saw a glossy cobalt coloured camera and went up to it and punched it with my right fist and then grabbed it by the tripod and smashed it against a window until it was nothing. I said to my partner in a fake eastern european accent; "not very good spy" and I smiled at myself. Then I saw through the windows a big blue truck approach. At first I thought he was gonna hit the house, as it was a massive truck and looked like a petrol tanker. But instead he blocked the front of the house with it, but again, job poorly done because I could still use the front door, and I got out and quickly hid somewhere on a bush before he could see me and as he got out of the driver seat I pounced at him, gripping him by the shoulders initially and then attacking him with my fists and he tried spitting on me and blowing on my face and I ignored it and got a claw weapon out and started scratching the man all over (who now looked like a sweaty redneck and not a smug man at all), and he struggled and I saw damage numbers fly all over the place and he asked with surprise something like "how can you deal so much damage?!".

I defeated him and I got in the truck and my "camera" changed to third person view of the vehicle, which was taller than the house and I drove off against some trees that just got knocked down and kept my momentum (that wouldn't happen so easily in waking life) and I realised this was actually a missile truck, loaded with 18 missiles; on a control interface I saw an interesting option of "teleport payload to target" and I remember I could see a top-down view as a map of the local region; I tried the option and unfortunately I could not see the target I wanted in range, so I drove the truck further, into a city. By the time I reached the city I'd damaged the truck a bit with some clumsy driving through forests and some of the payload was gone, I was down to 11 missiles and I was going to look for a target again, when I saw some man in a suit come toward the truck and waving at me all like "oh no no no!"; there was a small sub-station behind him and the dream more or less ended here.

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Some notes:

- The presence of fire in the first dream fragment was probably related to the fact that last night shortly before bed there a car fire out back. So the little mischievous animal was more than likely a representation of whoever might have done it. When I realised the creature was not at all a cat I did think it was very odd, and through most of the dream there was a nagging doubt in my mind about it.

- Throughout the entirety of dream sequence 3, my partner was very passive, and though he did say things back at times, I really don't remember what he said in any detail.

- The map in dream sequence 3 reminded me of Fallout 4 and the capitol wasteland from Fallout 3, as well.

- There were many times through all sequences and fragments which would have been good prompts for doing a RC. Unfortunately the game-like nature of sequence 3 made it exceptionally difficult to question anything, as I was too entrenched in my role. Dream fragment 1 and 2 were the ones that made me think "that was odd" a few times, in the dream.

- The missile payload truck was not at all like anything specific from games I've played but rather was dream-generated, as was were many other aspects of sequence 3.

- I remember a music played when I was on the truck approaching the city, something like "the bad guy's gonna get it! hyaaa! the bad guy's gonna get it!" but it reminded me, even in the dream, of the intro song to the game Borderlands 1 (the music being Ain't no rest for the wicked).

Non-dream stuff: A very long non-lucid dream. I only remember one part of it, that I held on to loosely as I was quickly forgetting everything, deciding this was the most important part to remember.

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Dream sequence:

I was in my native country, in the dream context it had been explained why I think but I can't remember it. I was in a small town and it was day, looking to soon be sunset, as everything looked a bit orange.

This was just a typical town and I was wandering around and there was an old brown-stone church, with one of its doors wide open. I walked in, and I remember I was looking at the floor just before doing so and seeing a roach type bug, but small. In the dream context there was something about going to visit local landmarks. When I entered it wasn't like a church at all, but a community centre of some kind. It was deserted. All the lights were on, but there were many many webs... and spiders, weird ones, some almost as big as my hand. I was very wary, but something compelled me to continue and I kept my instinctive fear in check, wondering why I was fearing them, they were just stood there on their webs, undisturbed for years, clearly.

I wandered through the first two rooms, and the second room was at the "back" and had large modern glass windows that were letting the sunset light in. Everything had that orange light bath, as expected. I used my boot to clear away some webs I just couldn't avoid if I wanted to move further. After having a look around in this room, where there had been some displays of some kind, I turn back a bit and again have to carefully remove some webs from the way, feeling extremely wary of the spiders on it. I remember being in a room or common hall that connected other rooms and there was a bag of some kind on a swivel office chair. On topof the bag was a black leather wallet. Everything was absolutely covered in webs and I looked at the wallet with the intent of seeing what was inside and taking it, but I saw a slightly open door and could sense something. It was a very small room, a cupboard of some kind, and I couldn't fully open the door in, because of an object inside. The light inside the tiny room was also on, oddly. I reached with my left arm into the room and felt something stony and as I touched it, I saw the wallet and bag disappear and heard a female voice saying "You have resisted temptation. You are blessed with protection." I could "see" an interface icon showing a "buff" as in a game, but the context of the dream felt all too real.

I remember exploring a little more but there were some areas that didn't have lights on and were getting on for darkness. It is implied in the dream that I went into these areas, as next I remember being at a doorway in the same building and walking into my the room my mom uses as an office at home in waking life, except the view through the windows was part of the dream context. I found it odd to find this room, but didn't question it much. I looked at her computer screen. It was on, something about this feels emotional though I have no idea now what was on the screen, other than the fact that on some timestamp it said the date was "2013". It was 2018, I knew this in the dream context. I took a photograph with my phone of the screen, and I thought something but I can't remember what. I seem to remember that at some point before this in the dream I'd found something else pertaining to my mom, from the past also. Even in the dream I couldn't help but wonder, are these things I'm finding related to her mental health?

I know I went out of that room but I cannot remember more details, even though the dream sequence didn't end there.

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Some notes ^{(spread out because they'd be too dense to read otherwise)}:

• The sunset is a dream-sign. I hadn't realised this before. It is distinctly different from all other times of day, and in my dreams it always represents "the end" (of time, in some way).

• Even in the dream I thought everything in that light looked beautiful.

• As I saw all those spiders, I was about to react instinctively and let out some reaction of fear, but the fact that in the dream I had strongly intended to go into this building and that I somehow felt compelled to go further in, made me remember my practice of trying to keep my fear in check. This is the first time in a dream that I have truly suppressed such a basic and intense fear, as far "consciously" as my dream mind would allow. Keep in context that I have been an arachnophobe almost all of my life until very recently, and that in dreams basic fears and instincts are much, much stronger in my behaviour.

• In the dream context I remember being told by someone to look at the local points of interest and landmarks because I could be interested in them and because they needed people to do some tourism around here. That's the context I had for the "church".

• The bag/purse under the wallet was magenta. The office chair was a deep blue, I think.

• All I can remember seeing on that computer screen was a few different windows open, and maybe an image as one of the windows, which is what had the timestamp. In my dream, I knew that my mom had not been in this office for a long time. It looked just as the rest of the community centre.

• I do not know why even out of the dream now I feel some strong emotion thinking about the date and the screen. As far as I remember, 2013 was no different for my mom, if anything, her mental health has improved greatly since then. But considering it now, it was also when I moved to where I live now, away from my native country.

• At some point in the dream I understood the sunset feeling like "end", though I'm still not certain what about.

• The community centre (which was actually the church, after all) corridors and rooms looked, actually, much more like a very stereotypical office building and some doctors offices I've been to.

• As for the context of my mom's mental health, she suffers from bipolar or something the like, but has it very well controlled by medication these days.

Non-dream stuff: Woke up at 8 but fell asleep again somehow, and the non-lucid dream fragment that follows was after I woke up suddenly at 9:40; I tried to not recall the dream too hard, with positive result:

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Fragment:

Was going up a small 1-lane ramp at what reminds me now of a school I've been to in waking life. It was day and as I went up the ramp I was fiddling with a box cutter ^{(specifically a black and yellow one I have in waking life)} and there was a boy, maybe 10 or 12 in front of me walking the same direction. The light was suddenly changing as I caught up to him and it became night; there were trees and fences to the right and at the immediate left some short buildings; I could see where the road would intersect ahead;

I said something like "hey, wait up", at first wondering if the sounds of the box cutter scared him, but he didn't seem phased by that. I remember he looked at me and smiled and I asked him "where's your brother? do you know?". The boy said "no, I don't know", and I kept walking along with him and we talked about something; we were getting to an intersection with a town road and suddenly he had a dog on a lead, I'm not sure what kind, but not small and with brown/light brown fur.

When we got to the intersection, the dog started tugging harder and went to the left and then suddenly it was like they were gone and I walked in the same direction as they'd vanished; I seem to remember that now I had the dog for a few minutes and it was very playful and tugging all the time on the lead ^{(reminds me of my own dog in waking life, though it didn't feel like my dog)} and I remember thinking something about the dog playing with a policeman but then the dog was gone again and as I went down the road, over a bend, I saw that some 3 story apartment buildings were damaged;

I started walking toward them instead and then I remember one of them was quite damaged, like from an explosion, but it almost looked like they were made of very large Lego. I went into a building and the first and second floor were on fire and I kept walking through, up some stairs and then saw like an "interface" notification at the top of my field of view; I mentally clicked it, and the fires nearest me simply got put out; I repeated this a few times before the dream ended. (I was woken up by the already present garbage truck coming closer and getting just slightly louder, and my partner getting up to check on his car)

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Some notes:

• The area was reminiscent of my native country. This should have been dream-sign especially considering the absence of normal context, like the absence of my partner and my aimless wandering. I was the age I am now.
• Other than me, the boy, the dog and the "imagined" policeman, there was nobody else in the entire dream sequence.
• I was walking the whole time. At first this may not seem notable and though I did not feel frightened by anything at any point (such as by the fires, I was indifferent to the situation). And even if I had been afraid, it's not likely I would have run, but instead would have walked faster. This is reminiscent of real-life behaviour where I very rarely run if I'm in a public place, as it makes me feel self-conscious and observed, though the notion was not "consciously" present in my mind at the time in the dream.
• I have the idea the dog may have been a golden retriever, but I have no clear picture in my mind.
• I don't know who the boy really was, I think dream-generated, especially as I'm struggling to think of what his face was like and instead remembering the face of a boy in a game I've recently played.
• I think that before the ramp the fragment starts with me going up, there was water and a pier or something, but I know it was related to the dream sequence that came before.