• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccclxxxiv. Space dread, foreign land, art/drawing class

      by , 05-09-2022 at 06:37 PM
      2022 May 8th

      Fragment:

      Something like NMS. Flying through space in a system of a few planets. There's a Dyson sphere surface (like in FL before entry) and there's a planet which just seems to be melding or embedded with the sphere surface (which in itself appears impossibly flat). Something feels slightly trippy as I start to warp towards this planet.

      (recall gap)

      Border control place, at an Arabic-looking kind of building. Some kind of ID is needed to enter this place, which is an unspecified foreign country.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm in a drawing class. Feels like college but with a mix of university too. There are photocopies of classical Roman-themed drawings which are sitting upright on a conveyor system and going around the classroom. I'm late to the class and don't get a brief and such. I start trying to draw based on one drawing of a gladiator down on the floor, the composition is focused on his head, wearing one of those brass helms. (Like in Jean-Leon Gerome's "Pollice Verso")

      I get about halfway through drawing this with a BIC pen and then somebody takes away the reference drawing I was using. I get annoyed by this and I try to simply wait to get it back and make attempts on my own to continue my drawing but it seems like it's not going to happen. I try to ask my tutor V for help but this doesn't go so well because he's trying to talk and me and others keep interrupting him and he forgets where he was with it, so he never really finishes circling around to any of us.

      Then the class is ending and my drawing remains unfinished, even though I'd been trying to make do without the reference. As people are leaving, someone takes the drawing I was working on, though I don't realise at first. When I do realise, I get annoyed and a bit frustrated by how everything was going.

      I just can't find the drawing anywhere and assume someone stole it. V and JC were waiting for me to finish looking because V was offering to give us a ride home and now they've been waiting a bit too long and just leave without me. It's now night time outside and there are other people around, so I am unable to distinguish who they are or where they went, in the dark.

      At this point I try to reverse time, without much fine control over how much time to reverse. The dream ends after a failed attempt where I reverted time too much, I think.

      Notes:

      - The main "trippy" thing about what was going on in the first segment was more or less what I could only ever describe as a feeling of dread when I first played some games like FL and when I experimented with placing planets and objects in such ways that the effect was so unnatural and which meant that when physically navigating these instances in a ship created a feeling very much like a fear of unknown and a sensation like falling. I can't really describe the effect on me too well because it has always felt particularly unique and I've never heard any special term for it, so weak comparisons are the best I can do.

      - I haven't thought much at all about something like the mentioned gladiator's painting for quite some time, though it is definitely amongst my favourites in paintings of such styles. The closest thing I can think of right now that has any associative resemblance would be thinking of a hairstyle for a character for H.
      -- The other aspect of this in the segment, is that the drawn reference of the gladiator that I was looking at was exceptionally well drawn and originally in graphite. The dead gladiator's expression was that of shock, looking sideways to his right, which relative to the position of his head would be "up". The point of view was at eye level to the dead gladiator and there was a fracture or some other kind of damage to the helmet. I distinctly recall there being chainmail under his helm.

      - The whole atmosphere to the drawing/college segment was one of a transitional phase, much like university actually had been. There was some dedication on my part but I was still not "in tune" with all of it. Although I do not recall exactly the quality of my own work too much in this segment, it wasn't too far off the original drawing I was looking at for reference. Symbolically, as this had the feel of a transitional phase and there are aspects of hindrances and frustrations, this is likely related to some of my current issues, which are not with some external factor this time but with an internal one, since it reflects the seriousness I want to put in while also reflecting something of myself to be lacking, with regards to having the required drive to push myself along where I want to go. (I am not feeling able to adequately express the sentiment of the relevance of this to myself right now)

      - Again this dream shows a strong symbolic element relating to three principles; individuality, group and collective, which seem to be strongly recurring elements at present, or perhaps my mind is much more focused on noticing this type of recurring element lately.
    2. cccxxxviii. Games, Pressured by others, Decision made without consulting me

      by , 10-31-2021 at 02:39 AM
      4th October 2021

      Scraps:

      (a long dream, but poor recall)

      Some RTS segment and I recall beaches and water.

      One part a bit Minecraft-like or some other game. T is here and someone else is with me? Some kind of tower, or otherwise large structure.

      One of the last parts of the dream, I am my alter-ego and there are interactions with me as such. The other people are dream-generated. They seem to be pressuring me, or something? Despite my form, I feel slightly shorter than others.

      Some other dream? H has convinced mom and dad to bring S over here. I think H goes to pick them up and I remember seeing them all at one point. I feel concerned about S because of all the usual reasons regarding costs and also because of the long trip.

      Notes:


      - The last part was certainly a reflection of how I sometimes don't feel listened to or validated on, regarding both matters of money and of companionship. In the segment, some beliefs I hold as very important are partly betrayed by my closest, besides the fact I feel it may be detrimental to both S's health and to my financial situation.

      - That same segment probably also relates to how I have often been very easily upset by changes to what a situation is and changes to what it would be or would have been.

      - More recently it has been more frequent for me to take on my alternate form in my non-lucid dreams. In this case, the context likely relates to my art and some perception that the expectations of others are above my own. My stature is clearly metaphorical in regards to my feelings in terms of recognition, but this dream element also relates directly to some of my choice themes and how I've often felt physically inadequate in some specific areas (primarily to my own expectations) when compared to others.
      -- I do not recall what exactly the other people were pressuring me about, but in terms of my waking life contexts, art is the most directly relevant context here.
    3. cccxix. A's late husband, Dreaming of dreams

      by , 08-29-2021 at 04:06 PM
      19th August 2021

      Away from home at the time.

      Scraps:

      Something about a big drill at the tail end of a dream before waking.

      Before that, something more adventure-like.

      Another bit about S and A. But S was implied to have died and A was having a conversation with me, telling me all of this. In that moment I realise that was why we hadn't had any contact with her for a long time.



      21st August 2021

      Recall was good at first and dreaming presence was very decent too, lots of dreaming overall, but I was unable to write any recall down initially and it was left too long by the time I had another chance, meaning almost all detail was gone.

      Scraps:

      Something about dreaming and art.

      Last bit just before waking, I'm doing something charitable for someone. I'm somewhere like in Scotland and I remember moving around a fair bit. (in what way?)



      Notes:

      - I cannot know whether my dream realisation about A's husband has any truth or not, since we still haven't spoken. Sadly it's been years since we last spoke.

      - Dreaming about dreaming and art probably relates to some of the long-term lucid goals I have.

      - I'm not sure if I was still away on the 21st or not, possibly just after I had been.

      - I just realised while typing this DJ entry title that our host's husband passed away some years ago, perhaps this was what brought on the dream about A's husband, in some way.
    4. ccxcvii. Invitation, Unusual BFG

      by , 07-05-2021 at 02:48 PM
      5th July 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm looking at my profile on one of the art sites? I notice I have an unread PM and click to check it. It's from a site moderator I think and I check to see if it really is one, by looking for a certain symbol or something? The message reads at first something like "Dear user, as it is so rare to come across individuals like yourself", going on for a short bit and then asking further down if I'd like to become a moderator, myself.

      There's still some kind of special application process and scrolling through the, actually somewhat long, message, I see some red hyperlink buttons with white text. They have something to do with answering some questions for the application. At the start of these is also a green one and I perceive green as bad? The green one is for saying that you're not interested in this or something.

      I think about this and consider the responsibilities, the kind of things I might have to deal with, potentially unpleasant. And also the fact that it's not a paid role or position, it's voluntary even with the application and so on. Despite all this I still consider applying. Rest of recall faded.

      Fragment:

      In a game world of some kind, with H. It feels like DOOM, Quake or UT. The zone feels a bit void of anything at all, very empty. There's an orange-purple atmospheric effect? The only things that seem to exist around here are some kind of simple and white geometric structures that we walk across. I do some jumping tricks and get up on top of what is supposed to be like a small building. There's a "BFG 9000" here on the flat rooftop, it's a secret pick-up. This BFG has a unique design and is really quite big, as I pick it up I visually note that H gets it too.

      The weapon's design is chunky at the start, then it becomes tri-pronged kind of and extends almost two yards in front. These bits sticking out are like electro-magnetic rails and they are a silvery metal but with a light blue electric glow. The rest of the design is primarily green, the green tone I associate with DOOM.

      Anyway, then a boss or elite enemy appears or something. I consider whether or not we should use our new BFGs on it and end up deciding not and that we should just use regular rocket launchers to fight it. I think about the fact that the BFG has very limited ammo and sooner or later we'll end up firing at the same time anyway in combat situations, effectively wasting shots.



      Notes:

      - On waking and trying to draw the weapon in its most basic form I realised I couldn't imagine what the grip for it could be like. I then realised I've never really paid attention to this detail on BFG designs.

      - The first dream may relate to how I have sometimes done things freely for others because I felt that it was important enough to do as a voluntary thing. The issue has often been for me that I have not been either rewarded nor recognised for it and not even getting some recognition for helping makes it feel like I've been used for my eagerness, ultimately making me feel naive and cynical about such things.
    5. cclii. Non-lucid lucidity and simulated abilities, Family trips, Swamp freight

      by , 04-16-2021 at 10:00 AM
      16th April 2021

      Dream:

      I am in someone else's lucid dream. It's someone I used to know, maybe L's friend, J? Not quite, but there's another friend too. It looks a bit like a small church, lots of dark stain wood. I think there's a greater proportion of wood than there is stone, I seem to recall.

      Anyway, since I'm not actually lucid myself, I think about testing a theory. I think of asking my friend to give me moderator privileges as if this was a Minecraft server. But I am unable to catch up to ask him, as he moves around. So I end up trying commands by myself, like the teleport-jump to where I'm looking. The commands sort of work. Although I am unsure of how to even do this, somehow, I intuitively bind the commands to my mind or something, so no typing is required.

      But I'm not lucid and yet I am reminded by all of this about a technique I read here on DV a couple of days ago. Before I try a teleport-jump or a through command, I spend a couple of seconds visualising the result a bit, but really it's too faint. It does help my non-lucid self use these commands though.

      I remember this part of the dream was highly detailed but I can't recall any further about it now. Transition?

      I'm in a restaurant with my family. We're leaving soon? The place seems to be mixed with old home or something. But I need to go to the bathroom. It doesn't seem especially clean in here. I try the stall, as I have privacy concerns and as I'm about to pull my pants down, I realise that there's no toilet at all in the stall, just a tiny plastic bin. Outside the stall, in the bathroom, there are only wall urinals. I exit the stall and entering the bathroom is a black woman, she has curly hair, a somewhat round but well defined face, she's about my height and probably a similar age.

      I tell her I wouldn't bother with the bathroom at all, and just wait until home. She seems disappointed by this. I walk out of the bathroom.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm at my old home, but think to myself that I'm not actually there or something. (pre-lucid thought about real location?) There's just some feeling, anyway.

      Me and the rest of the family are getting ready for something? It's early morning I think. Mom says dad needs some apples and I tell her I can go get them (since I feel ready anyway) and I shout for dad, asking what kind he wants. I don't remember hearing a reply back. Eventually I think about just teleporting to outside the store below. But something stops me and it just doesn't work. I remember being in my old room and seeing outside, standing from the doorway to the room. Light seems consistent with early-ish morning.

      Some other sequence. I'm in some place in South America. Swamps or marshes. A flatbed ship carrying containers is on the water but there are some buildings around, sort of in an Arabic style more than a local one. I try to get on board the ship and then look for some circuit board chips? Some interactions with someone else, possibly an old friend.

      Another bit, possibly the earliest sequence in the dream. A visual and physical representation of the old art website? Very vague recall of this bit. Looks sort of like a disco club, with certain elements like the web banner physically represented as a room backdrop. Someone talks to me about the computing efficiency of the VFXs being used. Vague recall of thoughts about how much I charge for commissions, feeling like it's not enough.



      Notes:
      - I was not actually "lucid" at any point throughout this dream. My dream self was somehow partly aware of this by the implied context of the dream and with the commands thing tried to devise a way of having abilities more akin to what's possible when actually lucid.

      - There are a few things here that challenge recent conscious thoughts, namely; my commission prices, my initial thoughts about the technique linked in the entry and some recent thoughts on shared dreaming. Basically the dream presented opposites for all of these things, I don't think necessarily for me to accept them but to generally think about them further.

      - Using the commands to have lucid-like abilities in the dream felt like a pretty clever idea at the time, especially since it partially worked.

      - Curiously, the church location may have been brought on by the fact that I have spent a fair bit of time with H both in real churches and in church-like buildings he's built in Minecraft.
    6. ccxvii. Daikatana marshes, Art anxieties, Nobody wearing a mask

      by , 01-26-2021 at 08:03 PM
      25th January 2021

      Fragment:

      Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

      I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

      26th January 2021


      Dream:

      I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

      Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

      There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

      I feel disappointed, or hurt.

      Dream:

      I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

      I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

      I can't recall where we go or end up.



      Notes:
      - Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
      -- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

      - The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

      Updated 01-26-2021 at 08:09 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    7. ccxvi. Tantrum and health issues, Writing a story, Art site, Octopus Woman

      by , 01-24-2021 at 06:42 PM
      24th January 2021

      Fragment:

      (at the end of a long segment about family)

      Uncle M mentions "Bucaccus"; it is apparently some kind of organ, gland or hormone? He apparently had many issues with it when he was my age and suggested I get it looked at. I remember previously in the dream I had been having some kind of tantrum, throwing things. I apologised to my uncle and someone else there, an old woman?

      Fragment:

      Waiting for a train in a subway station. I'm wearing one of those new and modern drawing gloves on my right hand. I'm writing some kind of story on the palm of that glove on my right hand. I don't make notice of the fact that I was using my left hand to do so.

      The train eventually arrives and I get in; then when I get out somewhere else, I find that my little story has rubbed off completely and is gone and I try to remember what I had written.

      Fragment:

      Looking at some profiles on an art site. One of these profiles has thirteen thousand people who are basically subscribed to it. Part of the page seems odd and the dominant layout colour is incorrect to what it should be in waking life, it's a deep blue in the dream.

      As I scroll down I find extra sections, like multiple featured text posts with commenting areas of their own. There's also some section labelled "high-profile banned/blacklisted users". I look through this section, which only has a dozen of usernames, and find that some usernames start similar to mine but mine isn't on the list, I feel some sort of relief?

      This person's profile has a lot of issues with spamming?

      Fragment:

      I'm in my old home, my room. I'm visiting. I am upset for some reason? And then there's some kind of hybrid species woman; she's part octopus and she's sad for some reason. Her mom is here too and has the same features, but her mom has a blue tinge and she has a pink-ish tinge.

      In any case, I try to comfort her, but she is resistant to any comfort I try to offer. I remember at one point we touch one another a bit, half sensually, half not, like a strange dance? I am curious about the tentacles and she lets me touch them. This implies some trust on her part, I feel.

      The suckers nip on my skin but much less harshly than I expected; I feel that she has control over this and has made it so as to not hurt me.

      Her mother says something about how she could just cut off her tentacles if she's that sad (comes across as half-serious/half-sarcastic) and that they'll grow back. Her mother warns her however, that it will take months to regrow them and that during sleep she'll be waking up to what feels like every five minutes and bleeding or something.

      I tell her that she should do no such thing. I feel the mother's suggestion was too serious and that it would cause so much more damage than good.



      Notes:

      - The last fragment feels strangely ironic considering how I am feeling right now about something.
      - The tentacles had ends that were more squid-like than octopus-like, come to think of it.
      - I think it's been a while now since I dreamt of any subways or trains. It had also been a while since I dreamt about a website, specifically an art one.
    8. cciv.

      by , 01-01-2021 at 05:32 PM
      1st January 2021

      Dream:

      I'm with H, we're in a town or city like L. I remember we had been in the van. We were buying something off someone or selling them something.

      We go past a bigger van at some point. Its back doors are open and it's crammed full of stuff, some rolled up materials, furniture, other things I don't recall.

      I remember then some interaction with mom, in the street? But I'm also recalling another scene indoors. I'm showing mom and dad some drawings, though mostly to mom. She seems proud or happy, but I get the feeling that she wishes she could do the same.

      The bit in the street; narrow-ish street, cobbled floor/paving. Daytime. I remember something about my phone and holding it up in an odd way, trying to avoid people (colliding with them).

      Next I'm in a house, still with H and in the same area. Out of a window I can see a large square or plaza. We're at ground level. There are people going back and forth. This looks like a small kitchen area, the interior is wooden, a nice semi-deep stain. I pick up a towel and start cleaning up some water on top of a wooden-veneered countertop. H is next to me and we're talking about something although I can't recall what. I see a woman approach the house. She's in her 50s, has long but wavey hair and holds herself in an uncertain manner. She has some kind of turquoise top?

      I seem to recall she comes by a few times and I try to tell her that she's at the wrong place or something, as I don't know her at all. All the while, she has a very confused expression.
    9. cxcix. Artistic "success", Helping a congregation/church, Cloaking vans

      by , 12-20-2020 at 02:57 AM
      17th December 2020

      Fragment:

      (left too long because of little opportunity to write)

      First bit. Looking at one of my art(ist) profiles. I feel sort of amazed, I have just over 250 people watching my profile, apparently.

      Another bit, in some church, near the end of a dream. I'm helping some women, mostly in their 50s and so on. They eventually tell me I can't be allowed to join their group officially as it is for women only but they tell me that because I helped them they can however offer me an honorific title or position.

      I feel pleased or satisfied, though I can't remember if I accept, but they seem happy either way too.

      19th December 2020


      Fragment:


      In the car with H. We're driving along some bendy and somewhat narrow road in an industrial estate-like place. Some van "uncloaks" in front of us at a corner. H is upset and surprised by this.

      Earlier bit; (recall faded too much) something about a large area of land owned by someone and cities on it. A mountain and atop it some castle? Night time. Lots of street/city lights in the distance. A semi mountainous region in general but a lot of water and rock outcroppings that are at least a couple of hundred stories tall, each.



      Notes:

      - Although I seem to remember the dreams from 17th of December were kind of long, the recalled portion has an interesting personal contrast between two worlds that are very different but are also very important to me.

      -- The profile watching count certainly comes from recent worries based off/around self-expectation.

      - The uncloaking van was certainly based off recently replaying through the Freelancer campaign but interestingly during the day there were at least two incidents with vans appearing a bit out of nowhere when we were on the road.

      Updated 12-20-2020 at 03:02 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    10. clxxxvii. Chemistry, Stacked paintings, Dark highway, Level-locked

      by , 11-08-2020 at 12:44 AM
      5th November 2020 (DFLN)

      Fragment:

      At the end of a dream I was with H, watching a video of a guy in a labcoat mixing something together in some ceramic mugs he'd previously joined together (ceramic seamless welding technique or something).

      The labcoat made me do a RC but for some reason I didn't focus enough on it and so I didn't realise I was dreaming.

      Fragment:


      In a room, in our house? I remember my paintings are all here. Some of them are stacked on top of each other and I notice one of the "eye" paintings is lying atop the pile. One of the other paintings in the same style/series is nearby or under that one.

      7th November 2020

      Fragment:

      Left it too long and recall was poor. At an apartment building which goes quite a way up. I'm in a floor high up with someone else and we are trying to keep social distancing up while doing something? But eventually we end up breaking it and I think I was there to do some kind of trade or exchange.

      Possibly from a different segment or dream but in some other part I recall being with mom and dad, on a highway or something. It's night time and I'm not sure if we actually were in a car at any point but I don't recall other cars or people. There's a junction or bridge over another highway section but the bridge is damaged/ruined and is actually mostly rubble. I remember street lights and that sort of thing being on.

      Fragment:

      Earlier fragment. I'm a level 60 death knight character in WoW and apparently I can't level up any further (my experience bar is absent). The highest level characters I remember seeing are level 70 and I remember seeing an undead player character that had an elite portrait frame.

      I remember getting on a slow gryphon and flying around an area very much like Dun Morogh but on further thought may have been mixed with Wintersrping.



      Notes:

      - Recall actually hasn't been particularly poor or anything lately, even with early morning working days, but most of the time I've been far too tired when I wake up to push myself to actually write down the recall and by the time I have a chance I've usually left it too late.

      - I think my RC was a bit weak in part because in the dream I was feeling a bit self-conscious while doing it. Generally I don't feel so self-conscious anymore when doing RCs when H is also around, but I guess some leftover part of that still persists for the moment.

      - The eye paintings have had some special and unspoken significance to me lately. I don't know why exactly, as I also never really thought "I really love eyes" but they certainly seem to have some sort of appeal to me, as I have been noticing it's a frequent subject matter in my work.

      - The ceramic joining thing made complete sense to me while I was dreaming and even after waking up it seemed to make sense and I remember thinking "what a good way of fixing ceramic objects", but I slowly realised it actually didn't make any sense and in itself could have been its own dream sign.

      Updated 11-08-2020 at 12:47 AM by 95293 (title, extra notes)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    11. clxxiii. Useless throttle, Art-cluttered room, Apocalypse

      by , 10-01-2020 at 10:06 PM
      1st October 2020

      Dream:

      In the van with H. For some reason, some part stopped transmitting power (to or from the engine). The drive shaft? Not sure, but it was still rolling and the engine itself was still going. But the van was only rolling (uphill, somehow) and couldn't accelerate, the throttle did nothing. We were rolling at about 40 in the middle of a town. H put on some hazard lights and other things and steered gently into a side bit stopped the van.

      Then something about a vest he had to put on and I was attaching some untinged leather straps to velcro bits? Two other people were here and we were talking to them. They were the ones that told H to put the vest on?

      One of these people was an artist and I don't remember what was said exactly, but I turned around at some point and now faced an alcove-type bit and all my paintings were there. I remember mentioning that there really weren't that many (I felt) but this small room still looked cluttered by them.

      Dream:

      Not sure how it started but some random character was the centre of it all now and there was this "ending of the world" thing going on. Some brightly coloured spheres went up in the air and then different things started happening but I forgot the details. I do remember some people and all their stuff, inside their houses, would get sucked/warped through reality into some kind of dimensional containers. I remember having a feel as if I could control some of what was going on, through a console? But otherwise I was not directly present or involved.

      Then some other part after it's all over. There's two anthropomorphic mice and they are wearing motorcycle-gang type leather outfits. They are talking to each other and one of them has a coin about half his size. It's supposedly a 30 cent coin from the USA but he mentions it would be worth several hundred now after everything that had happened. The coin was shiny. There was a filmic or cartoony characteristic to this scene, but I think it otherwise looked realistic.

      At some other bit in the middle of a ruined city. I feel more present in this section. I think something about how things didn't need to have turned out like this. I think to myself that if people had been more sensible, even with what was happening, there would be more to return to, or something to this effect. Neo or someone like him is here. He has a mobile phone and there are other people and there's now some kind of stigma (that I intuitively know about in the dream) about using this "old" technology and I remember a travelling section of the dream through or over the ruined city where nobody has guns or advanced technology but are all using improvised clubs.

      But this Neo character talks to someone using this mobile phone and the nearby characters get angry at him. He tries to be quick about it and tries to lose their attention? But the dream ends shortly after this I think.



      Notes:

      - I think the two mice were probably a reference to Biker Mice from Mars, a show which I did watch a bit of but not a lot, my siblings had watched more of it, I think. But I haven't really thought about it in years.
      - My previous entry also featured motorcycles.
      - It's possible that it's just imaginative leaking from daily life, as a few times we've been going past signs that mention motorcycle accidents.
      - The transmission/power issue with the van was probably related to a discussion I had this week with H in the van, in waking life.
      - The second dream was particularly long, but I lost many details on waking, in part because of motivation issues though.
    12. clxx. A quest for soup

      by , 09-29-2020 at 05:21 PM
      I thought I was missing a dream... It seems I skipped an older DJ entry by accident...

      12th August 2020

      8:30

      Dream:

      (points) Something about furry art. A kitchen, on-board a boat. Fancied two girls who were aboard. They were flirty? But they didn't know about one another.

      I was in some open restaurant area. I wanted soup from some famous female cook? I remember running in my home town. It was busy. I saw a motorised unicycle of some kind with a white paint job; I thought it looked kind of cool and I thought about how someday it would look out of place, outdated and silly. It was night time and I had to sprint my best (didn't feel dream slowness too much) to get to a harbour that was where the exit ramp out of town should be. From there, this cruise ship was leaving and I knew this because of its horn which I heard while running. I didn't want to miss it.

      I got to the loading ramp just as it was leaving and made a jump for it. It was a bare miss from my mark, plunging into water and grabbing onto a rear steering fin.

      From there I thought of calling someone (JC?, but the character or my old friend?) on the ship to bring me a rope. Then thought of just using a teleport command instead. No, instead I decided I could do this by myself and balanced on top of the steering fin and despite the water and speed, jumped forward and got on the deck.

      I got in through some doorway, watching my head. Passing thought of "so what if I fancy both of them?". I go down some steep metal or wood steps and I see her, one of these girls whom I apparently fancied. She was taking off some clothes in order to get changed. She had red briefs, a blood red colour.

      I remember we both smiled at each other but didn't speak. I had the awareness of having a glazed clay bowl in my hand and wanting some soup. There was a kitchen ahead through another bulkhead doorway. When I got inside the kitchen, there were two aggressive dream characters sort of accosting me. I forget who they were or looked like, but they were like pirates?

      Insistently I told them I would pay them to be left alone while I was in here. They thought I had nothing of value (mocked me?) and I remember scrounging through my pocket. Dozens of coins, I shove them at the two "pirates", the coins aren't nearly as valuable as I'd first expected however. I keep looking through my pockets. A stone? No, an ore nugget of sorts. It feels rough and I give it to them. It was a nugget of gold, but in reality the feel of it was more like a piece of pyrite ore like one I have in waking life.

      But I still decided this wasn't enough and somehow gave them something else but I don't remember what it was. They are now dumbfounded and agree to my terms now. Their aggression goes away, pretty much, and now I walk around the kitchen and see a very orange-y styled chest freezer, with pictures of garfield on it. I assume this is some BL ice cream thing A started.

      I remember going near a counter at the end of a queue bit, effectively bypassing said queue. But I felt as though I'd earned it with my payments to the "pirates". I still want that soup, but I can't or don't manage to find any?

      The next thing I remember, a black chef is getting fired and complaining that he was in a good mood and the head chef ruined it all and so on. I remember very shortly after, reading a review online that this chef left about the restaurant, saying very poor things about the crew or something. I feel that it's in bad taste (but feel some sympathy). Then I'm in an upper deck. Mix of a train and airplane aisle? Windows to the outside. It's day-time and some people are sitting in this cabin-like bit by the windows. A white girl says "I was pinning (some artist)", referring to how she was subscribing to this artist on some platform called "pin.it"?

      We're talking about furry artists, apparently. She mentions she feels embarrassed for talking about it out loud. A big black man sitting next to her, gives her some reassurance and tells her he actually had some interest in that same artist too.

      I forget what else happened, a lot of detail is absent from this DJ entry overall but I had a lot more recall of the dream initially.

      Some other bit about a base, partially in space? With technical-looking game block tiles and an ancient Egyptian ruin? Some overlap with the pirates somehow...



      Original note:

      - On waking I could smell the curry I'd left on a timer to start cooking at 7AM. The cookery related part of the dream may well have stemmed from that and from all the preparation I'd done for it last night. I also made a dessert, leaving the curry, the main course, to effectively cook overnight. In the dream, I was looking for a soup, which to me is traditionally a starting course.

      Added notes:

      - Quite likely the search for the soup was both a metaphor and a more literal desire at the same time. In the literal sense, a true full meal, to me, should include a starter such as a small soup, a main course, with meat or fish, and a dessert course, such as a sweet pudding of some kind and the meal we would be having the day of the dream would be missing this starter course. In the less literal sense, this food-related dream-plot goes back to old roots and to what I was used to having at meal times for a large part of my early life, so it seems somewhat nostalgic in a sense. I could extrapolate more meaning from this but these are the two most immediately relevant meanings to me.

      - The more carnal aspects about relationships on this dream maybe just came about as a coincidence with the food plot, since food and sex are supposedly pretty close in the brain, that's what makes sense in my mind anyway. But the two girls were also distinct in some way that I can't remember anymore (one may have been more open and the other more reserved and other such dualities?), so in the more metaphorical sense they are probably just relating directly to some aspects of myself, not to mention that at the time I was working on developing two characters that had a similar nature of duality between them.
    13. clxiii. Dream marriage, erotic art, medieval/fantasy combat

      by , 09-12-2020 at 04:47 PM
      Finally done with catch-up now.




      8th September 2020


      Fragment:

      Very long dream, poor recall because I had no chance to write about it until the evening.

      A small housing area. Modern-style appearance, cubical lots of white and concrete and glass, but low flats? Two, three story at most. Vague details of it, but the plot revolved around marriage and the dream characters were all fictitious. I was myself, but mostly only in a physical sense, my life here was its own life, created by the dream.

      The dream character I was supposed to marry was some girl, with odd hair or something? There was a Middle Eastern or Italian feel to her family. Maybe just Mediterranean in general.

      Her father was famous/infamous. I think he was especially notorious for what he would do when he disapproved of a groom. I remember at first I did meet with his approval but at some point I realised this wasn't due to last, for some reason. Then, when he did become disapproving, he did not treat me as cruelly as he had treated others in the past, but warned me that something bad was to happen?

      The girl became distant. Most of the dream's plot took place at their family flat.

      11th September 2020


      Fragment:


      Again long dream but recall faded, left it too long.

      I'm in some kind of fantasy action RPG. By the end, I entered some special hell area (very orangey) through a portal. The portal was framed by some sharp obsidian fang shapes?

      I remember dying in that area, a stupid and avoidable death I think. That made me lose a lot of progress, at least of everything I'd done in there, which I now couldn't recover for some reason. Interactions with some narrating npc?

      Fragment:


      Micro dream where I'm looking at erotic art on my PC. The explorer layout is not my usual one but in the dream I don't make special note of this. A lot of the art is greyscale or line art only. I think about tracing some of it for practice but I end up feeling aroused as I'm looking through the pieces. Some of them were real ones I know from waking life but I think many were simply dream-generated.

      Fragment:


      Another dream in which I returned to the context of the first one. I was some warrior class character and fighting waves of humans and dwarves equipped with dark-ish metal armours. Every so often when I killed enemies, red banners would prop up on a black pole, with semi-random frequency. I remember looting some items.

      Was too tired to make note of more and recall faded too much.
    14. clv.

      by , 09-09-2020 at 05:13 PM
      26th August 2020 DFLN

      Long dreams, poor recall because of noisy workers outside.

      Fragment:

      Remember being at my old best friends' house. His younger brother was there too, but was older?

      I think I talked to my friend about my art. I thought about showing him some drawings, I remembered he used to draw a bit, including by tracing.



      Notes:

      - Back when we were actually friends, I considered tracing to be a "cheat", a notion I have dropped in recent years.
    15. cli.

      by , 09-03-2020 at 12:24 AM
      Edit: Added in 16th August 2020

      Dream:

      The dream was a bit like Final Fantasy somehow. Had a cinematic-like presentation, long dream overall.

      At a mall with H, meeting up with my mom and dad. There are three bad guys around and we help local security deal with them. I remember a rectangular area of the mall, it had four escalators or six, two at each end (four in total) and then another two at the central area?

      Then I'm walking outside with H, we're holding our arms together. Some Australian guy appears and makes a remark of some kind? I get annoyed by it and I sort of snark at him but not too much, as he looks well built and I'd rather not get into a fight. He kind of goes quiet.

      We go for a wee? At some point the guy apologises, something about being gay being illegal in Australia; I accept his apology and say I understand that he has a different background.

      A girl? At a castle/mansion place. I remember the outside walls of some castle tower buildings, we were walking along them earlier. The girl is from an earlier part in the dream. I remember being bare foot and feeling cold tiles but not being bothered enough by it for me to mention it.



      18th August 2020

      Dream:

      At the end of the dream, me and H were using some kind of Matrix VR headset. Were we watching or maybe participating in a show of some kind?

      Then I remember being with H in my parents' old bedroom. We're both naked and we're sort of just lounging about? At one point, H starts getting aroused and we both get a bit silly, making jokes or something. I remember making a Scorpius impression.

      I remember running water. Some kind of device attached to a wall. It was leaky, or poorly sealed. Then I remember something else about MB and I was upset that he was lying to someone again, and then he was pretending he hadn't done anything.



      20th August 2020

      Dream (DFLN Thread):

      Part of a very long dream. Something about some dream characters, within some big building. A girl who tries to tackle me I think? I seem to remember the building wasn't finished or something, as I remember seeing a lot of bare concrete and open sections.

      I dodge the girl's tackle and she falls from three stories high, and she comes apart into several bloody pieces as she hits the floor, but the "tearing apart" seems to not correspond to the impact that had occurred, as it seems lethargic compared to the actual impact and fall.

      Several dream characters and small interactions with them? (Like what... Nicely detailed!)

      At some point I was in some very distorted version of my old home but with my current neighbours. At some point me and H are in a version of my old room.

      I remember hearing the neighbour scream like we've heard it in some mornings before but we mostly just ignored it this time. I also remember the lady from the old couple had someone over, and she was talking so loudly we could hear her voice clearly through walls.

      By the end of the dream I'm looking at the computer. I'm on my browser, on the usual art site. Dream-generated art from other artists and I remember commenting or interacting somehow. Something about an art piece focused on a giant maw and its teeth.

      Then I remember being on DV looking at my DJ and seeing that I got my Roman numerals numbering wrong somehow and in more than just a few entries. It makes me wonder in the dream, if I should rename them all and just scrap the idea.



      Notes:
      - Although I don't get them so much anymore I still sometimes have these dreams with MB in them. What surprises me a bit is that in the dreams I don't react violently to his presence. There's usually a context of normalcy, as if contact had never been broken but with the subtext that he'd still done something wrong.
      - I don't remember any details of the VR headset thing but it sounds interesting. It's reminding me now of some very ancient dreams I had in my childhood (before I even watched the Matrix, I think?).

      - The girl that falls to literal bits, this was probably partly brought on from playing KF, in which the enemies come apart when killed and in, I suppose, quite gruesome ways; though when playing I usually find this to be quite amusing because of the physics effects and sometimes the slow-mo effect makes it all the more amusing.
      - The thing about the DJ numerals has occurred to me before as passing thoughts while on DV and away from it too. I have had thoughts about how the system will become cumbersome when it reaches very high numbers.
      - The second dream, in the part where I was looking at art; this may have been part of a subconscious process that recently pushed me to trying to do something creative together with another artist. But as with the rest of my dreams on this recurring subject the focus is on interaction, a part I feel deeply deprived of quite often.

      - Also worth noting that I was a bit lax with my recall and DJ efforts for about a week, in good part because of schedules and also because of tiredness. I often find it frustrating when I want to make note of dreams while feeling physically incapable of it (fatigue, pain, etc).

      Updated 09-03-2020 at 05:20 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
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