DarkestDarkness

14th February 2021

Dream:

(Long-ish. Recall broken up a bit.)

Some bit in my home town. It seems dark but it's kind of day time, it's not just cloudy, because there's still colour saturation even in the dark. I walk around a corner of a modified version of where the primary school I went to is. There's something about this dream segment that has some consistency with previous dreams around this area. The buildings' height seems slightly exaggerated. The school itself has the main building in a different place, it's where the gate should be.

There are some people I sort of bump into and talk with, I forget who. We are on the pavement by the main road that passes here, in front of the police station and where my cousin used to live.

(Another bit, don't recall surroundings)

There's some kind of wooden cabinet, not unlike the one we have here at home but smaller? Lighter wood stain. I'm trying to climb it. It has a hole of some sort on an inner side panel up top in the middle. Somehow, this is the entrance into a building. I've been there previously in the dream but recall is lost. The centres of mass in play mean that I can't balance myself properly to climb up.

I remember I ask someone for help, someone I knew from school comes by, C?

(gap)

There's something about a vacuum and my eldest sibling. A car parking lot? Sort of hilly.

Then, I'm in some kind of complex. It's got a high tech but magical feel. Purple and deep blue hues, with light blue highlights. Light seems neutral otherwise. Crystal walls or something. I am with other people, forget who, but one I think is a dream character and is guiding the way.

Then a room with a crystal bridge or something. I think I cross it. Then I'm in a more normal looking basement. There are more people here, some possibly from my family. Some are just pure dream characters.

(gap)

I'm at a table in this basement with some other people, or perhaps I'm just a presence. A guy is having a happy conversation, with the air. And someone at the table starts to think this is odd. Then I see through his eyes and see he's talking to a ghostly woman.

(rest of recall too vague to put into words)

---

Notes:

- Lately I've been playing a game where a character keeps seeing his dead girl-friend. That last bit from the dream seemed to be a related intrusion from that context.
- The crystal place had a certain familiar feel, but I can't quite place it. On introspection, it only seems to be related to a general feeling of certain archetypical locations from several media (primarily animated films, games).

Long dreams but poor recall again. Dream vividness/in-dream detail has been fairly high.

29th December 2020

Fragment:

Was getting out of a house, getting ready to go somewhere. I climb some roof or something like and for some reason I get something really bad in my left leg, it's very painful. My leg gets amputated below the knee.

Then I'm in a classroom? I walk around, dealing with phantom limb sensations. I tell some therapist I'll try the mirror box theory later when I get a chance, to try and teach my leg/brain that things are different now. I see B from school and talk to him about some drawings he'd made.

The phantom limb can somehow still hold or move a sandal at the end of where my foot would actually be. I can see the old missing bit of my leg, as if it was phasing in and out.

30th December 2020

Dream, fragmented:

Driving on a motorway/highway. J and my siblings talking to me in a street? I'm in a city of some kind, it's day time. It seems quiet but not overly so, just like not a lot of people actually live here or lead peaceful lives. J was comforting me in some kind of parental way, but I don't remember about what.

At some point my view changes and it becomes top-down. Things look a bit like Factorio. I launch a nuke ICBM from a silo and after going up out of sight it comes back down only a few structures away from the silo. The silo is OK after this but most of the rest in the area gets destroyed; robots quickly start replacing most of it and I try to manually place some alternate structures.

(transition gap)

At a castle, there with mom and T. We take a walk around the outer area of the castle, close to the walls. At some point I climb up some tower. It's really high up and I can see the sky and the sun, as well as distant mountains. Sunset.

Later in the same area, something about a couple of roofers. I take away a couple of carrier bags and T helps me. I ask if they have some drinks because I'm taking the cola away with me. I accidentally lose grip and drop the carrier bag with it down a flight of worn stone stairs. I don't worry and let out an "oops". T gets slightly upset, or annoyed.

Then at ground level in an inner courtyard area. I look around and see limestone? yellow-ish stone, into which there are relief carvings and sculptures. I feel compelled to clean these carefully, they're covered in moss and general dirt.

(transition gap)

Then I'm on a bus with aunt B and mom. B is telling a story about ravines in Germany and how they are very popular attractions. The bus driver is sort of at the middle/back of the bus. It has a weird layout but looks standard otherwise. I think the driver struggles with seeing where he's going and it feels like there's a lot of traffic around us. It's an overcast day but I remember we go through a tunnel at some point. I remember seeing the ravines my aunt was on about, but partly in my mind, but as vividly as if real?

(then, many fragments)

Views of animated scenes with M/M themes. I think something to myself, a kind of feeling of envy (about the authors?) but the specifics are lost. I look up images of Zor'Drak for some reason. The same themes again, explicit in some cases. One picture is of him with an open maw and a tiny creature on his tongue, pleasuring itself; they both seem to be enjoying the activity. There's a light and warm glow coming from deeper inside the mouth. The description mentions "Ezekiel" and it seems this has something to do with the smaller character.

24th May

Dream:

Was in some kind of gallery or museum. The room was large and square. It had a lower tier/level kind of, also square and I walked down to it with some stairs. H was there I think and I was supposed to connect some displays of paintings with power, but I only had a single extension lead.

(Some section I don't remember.)

Then, as I was talking to someone a delegation appeared or something and a few others including H got close to the group. There was a mayor of some kind and the museum's curator. My dad was also part of this delegation. He had a dark brown suit and seemed taller and younger. Then he started moving ahead of the group into some hall and the group followed him.

I didn't really want to join this event but H said something to me from behind and said I should go because of dad, giving me a push and then I just continued with the momentum. Then in some other room, dad and this other guy start climbing some nonsensical spiral staircase. It was made with beautifully stained wood and a carved/turned centre pillar, but for some reason only had a bannister/railing on the inner side of the steps. It went very high up, four or five stories.

I was feeling my fear of heights so I didn't look down or backwards and wondered how the hell I was going to get back down.

Because of the missing bannister bit, we were all climbing the staircase by pulling ourselves up on the centre pillar or something. I remembering seeing dad reach the top and jumping to a flat area just under ceiling level and over a wall.

The whole place looked highly decorated and detailed in a neo-classic style, mostly comprising wood or painted wood. Eventually I got to the top too and I wasn't sure about the jump but the point of view changed from my eye sight to an overview of the area and then I jumped.

Then the rest of the dream was in this sort of top down view. I walked around this secluded area and eventually found some portal or something? And then I became like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.

I have no more recall of the dream.

---

Notes:
- Not too long after this dream I started work on a virtual gallery project in which I pretty much wanted to embody this general neo-classic styling and museum feel. Some of this idea of powered displays must have bled through into my subconscious because I did indeed later on create something similar for my project.
- The suit my dad was wearing was in the style of a suit I remember him actually wearing when he was more given to wearing suits anyway because of work.
- In retrospect, H's presence in this dream was a bit "guide-like" I suppose, as H's role was fairly limited in the dream but somewhat essential for the action to unfold as it did.

Two dreams, turned mostly into fragments after getting up from bed. I think there was a third one, but I must have forgotten it.

---

Dream Fragment 1:

I don't know where I was, it wasn't a familiar place at all, but there was some kind of square and a market. There was a town or city feel to the place and I remember it was day time, although everything looked a bit dark or murky somehow.

There was this woman with blonde-ish hair and a fit look (V) whom I know online from a game, though I've never met her in person. She was showing me around? I remember her grabbing me, by the arm or hand and for some reason in the dream this made me visibly uncomfortable. V noticed and asked me what was wrong or whatever. I explained that where I was originally from, physical interaction even with strangers was commonplace, but since I have been living elsewhere for some years now, I had sort of become estranged from the feeling and it was a confusing situation somehow.

Next thing I remember is something about a big cruise ship. I went down some steps, avoiding a queue for said ship, with no interest at all in getting on, having passing thoughts about a waste of time it looked like, due to how crowded it seemed like it was going to be.

There is then a transition of some kind.

Dream Fragment 2:

I remember being with H. We're on the road, H is driving; it looks like the type of countryside I'd expect to find here. It was day time, but the sun was close-ish to the horizon, I think more setting than rising, and it was also cloudy. Everything looked a bit desaturated.

There is a transition and now we're at some sort of lodge. My mom and my dad are there and we're having a look around. Nobody else is around, and the place is littered with what I can only describe as cultural artefacts from many different places. For some reason I take no particular interest in them however. I remember my parents talking, probably with me, but don't remember the content of the conversation.

There are stairs that go up and next thing I know, I find myself going through several upper levels of this lodge. One of my siblings (L) is here and we are both going up the stairs up to a point when we're not inside the house anymore, and it's a cliff. There are still steps, made of rough and weathered stone. As we go up the steps, the incline gets sharper, and this random girl with a massive backpack is also climbing these steps. At first I get past her but as I get nearer a flat bit at the top of these steps, she overtakes me.

Next thing I know, I expect to be at the flat bit and that there would be more to climb. I expect that the cliff on the other side would be gentle based on what I felt the formation was like, but no. This was the peak, and it was like a sharp peak.

Up here, there was a large but flat rock, on which L sat in a precarious way as always and I could see lots of things below, fields, towns, other mountains. I felt the height we were at was impossibly high for the amount of climbing we'd done, but my legs were shaking and I felt giddy from my irrational fear of heights. At first L tried to get my attention so I wouldn't look down, but that didn't last long. I remember seeing parts of this mountain we were on, looking toward the left. There were large and ancient man-shaped stones along certain parts of the ridges, almost like steps but which were really more like foundations for fortifications.

I couldn't let go of the rough stone steps. The way the flat bit of rock was connected meant that there was an extremely narrow part of dirt or rock and I just felt it was risky to try and get there. I wanted to go back down and eventually I did. I remember being at the main part of that lodge again, but the rest of the dream is missing.

---

Some notes:

• V looked exactly as I would have expected but though we had some conversation, I have no idea what her voice was like, or if it was accurate.
• H's presence in the second dream was quite short, but so was the presence of my parents and the random girl that was doing the climb too.
• When I was at the peak of that mountain, there was a cold feel to being there, although I don't remember actually feeling cold. But everything was quite bright, it was clear and sunny and I enjoyed that on some level, but the sort of physical stress I was feeling due to the fear of heights made the experience remind me of several situations in my childhood.
• During that part of the dream where I was climbing, I remember clearly thinking; "I'm sure I've dreamt of a climb like this". In actual reality, I don't think I have had a dream like that before, but again, the experience was similar to some I had in my childhood.