• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cccxxvi. Deuterium auxiliary geneator

      by , 10-02-2021 at 01:08 AM
      4th September 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm with my family and my god mother's family. We're in some kind of hall, but it looks like a bigger version of my childhood bedroom, at least in layout. It also feels partly church-like. There's an on-going conversation about money, savings and debts. It's established that our family has less savings but also potentially much fewer debts to pay.

      Then some discussion just between me and my siblings. We head outside and it's sunny, low angle, maybe misty.

      (maybe earlier in the dream, disjointed) Some bit about needing the deuterium power cell to be replaced for the auxiliary power system of a flats building, maybe where aunt B lives. The deuterium radioisotope generators is in a small outbuilding that's fallen into disrepair, in the shadow of the apartment building. There's a presumably lead-lined window that gives a peek inside. There's a cyan-blue glow inside. I worry on some level about being exposed to radiation.

      (disjointed, part of a living dream memory of sorts) I'm at a place like a mall or the cinema in a mall, reminds me of the one near home. Black or very dark walls? Dark flooring. There's something about WoW. (the false memory feels like it's part of my teen years but being relived)

      Some other bit later on. A church place again? There's a coffin I think. Something about a corpse is important. I fight with someone, a frail-looking but kind of mad (insane) person?



      Notes:


      - Even almost twenty days after having first written this dream, my visual recall was notably better than I was expecting.

      - In the dream and on initial recall I didn't think of it, but the cyan-blue glow chamber with the radioisotope cell somehow now reminds me of that dream I had with the lizard and the blue energy core. Very similar glow. Additionally, this small chamber was notably much darker than it should have been.

      - Most of the dream involved warm colours apart from that glow.
    2. ccxciv. Weird bicycle and family conversations

      by , 06-30-2021 at 06:42 PM
      30th June 2021

      Woken up by postman. Some in-line notes.

      Fragment:


      (going from end to start, kind of) I am with mom, she's taking me on a ride, on some kind of bicycle but it's really long, like ten yards long or something. She's asking me what I think of an alien race on a film that (in the dream) I had apparently watched. I am not too interested in the topic and feel that she is being oddly too insistent about it. (wake up at about this point)

      The whole time, I don't have a good hold of the bike thing and am concerned I might fall off but I persist in trying to stay on. (realistically I could have walked just as fast or faster) The rear end I'm at comes off from the seat area in the front, it looks a bit like one of those streamline cars' side skirts, sort of half-sectioned or something, difficult to explain. I'm holding on to it in a hunched and semi-crouched position. I have my regular clothes on as far as I can tell, wearing my normal boots. My boots make it feel very difficult to keep my feet inside the gap in the panelling.

      I have passing thoughts about how mom is being able to pedal this thing with me on it too and where I'm at a leverage point that should make climbing this bit quite difficult. We're climbing up on the small hill that leads to the newer roundabout, which used to be the P exit. We're on the cobbled pavement.

      A bit earlier, me, T and mom are walking in A, at the roundabout before the other we eventually ride up to. It's morning, sort of sunny but not. The surroundings seem different to how they should be in waking life but I'm not certain in what way. We get to a car and T unlocks it. He gets in and starts the car, it's some old car, maybe like a Mini or an older VW or something. We say something and then me and mom walk across to a pavement on the right, where those small houses should be.

      Soon I become aware of the car's engine being turned back off again, though I don't look. I think something to myself about it, but can't recall what. At this point I'm talking to mom about teachers and smoking. (probably intrusions from recent thoughts on both as concepts) She says you can't really get away from it (smoking) completely in that environment. We talk about teachers' pay and how it varies a lot and isn't quite adequate. Then when we are across and have walked along for a bit, that's where the weird bike thing is and when we get on it.

      Scraps:

      Some earlier dream sequence but recall slipped too much. Something like a game with T. We have guns and are expecting a massive encounter against NPCs or something inside a large building, but then nothing happens. There are flood lights and there's a cold ambience, despite the lights seeming warm in terms of glare. Some teens appeared and I think we hid or something, waiting to hear what they might say.



      Notes:

      - In bed, and before bed, I thought about lucid dreaming for a while and thought about wanting to do something with art or drawing while lucid.
      -- Also had thoughts based on the Dreamgates book reading, about how I have never felt completely comfortable with any name (even ones I've made for myself) and so I wondered what kind of names dream characters might give me.

      - Last night I started feeling really dizzy and just "slow" after midnight, not sure why. Wasn't able to do anything other than lie down and read a small bit.

      - Mom's appearance in this dream is no doubt related to her recent episode. On some level, any family appearance really ought to be enough for me to question reality, but it never is. She was half normal, half not, as hinted by the feeling I got off odd insistence, a behaviour I've only seen a bit of but am familiar with.
    3. ccxlii.

      by , 03-27-2021 at 01:06 PM
      27th March 2021

      Scraps:

      (recalled after I sat at my desk)

      I am at my computer. I'm checking on Steam or some other similar program and in there I see that AH messages me saying that I "was right, it was a joke", which she then starts to explain in more detail. I feel a mix of anger and mistrust but also relief.

      A possible false awakening where my alarm was going off and playing music; but something about the music didn't seem right each time. The environment looked accurate to waking life but foolishly I didn't think to do any types of checks, as I felt quite sleepy.

      Notes:
      - While in bed last night, had another dialogue with Data as I was falling asleep. This time I could use my own voice and not the captain's. But Data seemed unable to communicate very clearly this time. We talked about dream signs and my inability to either notice them or have them appear, lately, as well as how I have been doing some RCs too routinely sometimes.

      - When I recalled the fragment about the conversation with AH, some of the dream feelings described were temporarily present. I proceeded to check that this conversation hadn't actually happened and really was just from a dream.

      - Although the environment looked accurate while I was hearing the alarm, I also recall it seemed brighter than it should have done for that time of the morning. I've had dreams where the environment looked so accurate that it was easily acceptable for them to be waking life locations/situations.
    4. cxcii. Mussels are the tastiest

      by , 11-22-2020 at 02:27 AM
      20th November 2020

      Fragment:


      In a place like a restaurant or something. Someone was talking to me and they were telling me how "mussels are the tastiest thing there is" or something. I remember thinking of, or seeing some clams and thinking that besides the meat within, there would be pearls of value or something.



      Notes:

      - I remembered this fragment much later in the day while in a church. A stained glass I was looking towards for a while had pearls as a small detail in places and this triggered some vague visual recall of the dream.

      - I remember after the dream and also after recalling this fragment, I did feel some sort of craving for the food in question; there was some sort of taste in the dream, it was meaty but I can't recall any more detail than that. I have never found this type food appealing before, but I have been curious about it, having possibly thought about it again recently.
      -- My family, and most people where I'm from, do enjoy this type of food, but I have never wanted to taste it. Part of me thinks it can't be that different from snails and so I wonder now about similarities.

      - It's possible that in the dream I thought about the pearls being a metaphor of some sort; when the recall came to me, this was my first feeling about them. I don't remember the pearls visually. Later on in the day I had disassociated thoughts about how it might be possible to modify the clams to create different pearls, or objects.

      - Can't recall my reaction to being told that mussels are supposedly so tasty.
    5. cxci. Combat medics, Old home, Chat with someone I knew

      by , 11-19-2020 at 01:34 AM
      17th November 2020

      Fragment:

      (Lost most of recall I woke up early in the morning because I was too hot, around 6am?, unknown)

      Raid groups or something like them? There were some dream characters that were kind of like combat medics. This didn't make me RC even though it should have been a prominent cue to do so. I think it did raise my level of dream awareness but not enough. I remember specifically noticing that these dream characters were glitching visually, their limbs clipped through their clothing in weird ways, as poorly animated models might do.

      Fragment:

      Something with C from school and T. There was a general context around the old home.



      18th November 2020

      Fragment:

      I was talking via Steam to Sh from the PTFG. It didn't quite sound like him though. He was asking me how I was and we discussed something about my well-being at length; the conversation was heavily focused on me but mostly because he kept asking questions in that direction.



      Notes (for 18th only):

      - Last night I spend some time speaking with F from BL and we caught up a bit and he was asking me how we'd been.

      - Dream recall had vanished by the time I got up from bed and when the recall first came through, I mistook it for a real memory, taking me a couple of minutes to go through it and realising it was simply vague recall of a dream.

      - I slept poorly last night and the last few days have been very difficult for me, physically. I have also been feeling completely demotivated from my creative activity.

      - Last night I continued reading the book from the LD Book Club and I had been thinking about the four-step process for dream-work. After my initial recall of this dream this morning, I have been considering trying them on this, since it's a fairly short dream and seemingly quite specifically directed towards how I've been feeling.

      - All I can visually recall from the dream is the chat window and Sh's icon.
      -- Typing the above note, I have just realised that my abbreviation for the person in the chat has a secondary and much more specific significance to me.

      Updated 11-19-2020 at 01:38 AM by 95293 (Missed out a day/dream)

      Categories
      side notes , non-lucid , dream fragment
    6. cxc. Conversation with a demon and a couple

      by , 11-16-2020 at 05:23 PM
      15th November 2020

      Fragment:

      A vast and somewhat empty place apart from some abstract platforms as I recall. There was a "sky" made up of pastel colours, light oranges, pinks and blues.

      There was a demon queen, or something. She looked mostly humanoid and had purple skin? She wore some ornaments or accessories like gold bangles and chains but apart from that she must have been almost naked. She was bigger than me but not a lot bigger. Thought I suspected so, I asked her midway through some conversation if we were in an alternate dimension, to which she answered yes.

      The demon queen and I were on one side of... a table? Not sure. And opposite from us were two other people, maybe a couple. The queen was able to alter or modify certain traits with some species like humans and elves, but not dwarves. But these two other people looked human even though one was supposedly an elf and the other a dwarf. So I asked her, what if they have a child together, could that child be altered in the same ways?

      (recall gap)

      Vague recall of an office-like place, either from the inside or the outside.



      Notes:

      - My last journaled dream featured mystical aspects like demons, but the setting and context were entirely different. The theme here was of a more medieval/fantastic aspect, by comparison.

      - Unfortunately, I couldn't retain recall very well with this dream so I've completely lost any details that would be left of the other characters and the dream location.

      - The demon queen as a dream character had some aspects relating to my own personal interests in transmutation and transformation. The purple skin may have seemed random when I first recorded the dream but in retrospect that element is present in some characters I've created and is a colour I generally like, although her skin's hue was a bit brighter/lighter.
      -- "Queen" was an implied intuitive feeling about the character, not something that was mentioned or explained literally.

      - There was a feel of "sunset" to this dream and there were no changes in light while in the platform dimension.
    7. clxxxii. Taking food from someone's place, Legion-slaying children

      by , 10-22-2020 at 12:21 AM
      18th October 2020

      Dream:

      In my home town. Remember going up to some hilly areas that don't quite exist. A gravelled area by the main roundabout in town too.

      Then I'm with H and we go into this little house with a frosted glass door. But it also looks a bit shop-like inside. There's a fridge or something and we just start taking food from several places in here, this fridge included and putting all the food into bags (backpacks? refuse bags? not sure anymore). I think it's day time but in here it's mainly artificial light, daylight is only noticeable on the street outside. As I look to the glass door I see the silhouettes of an adult and a child and the door opens. It's the owner, I immediately realise.

      He gets upset because we're apparently robbing him. But because this is a shop, I do immediately tell him that we will pay for everything we are taking. But he doesn't care and says he'll call and report us to the police. I make some kind of snide remark (about it being pointless?).

      But then I end up trying to convince him more gently that we didn't mean to cause trouble or distress. He still doesn't care and refutes every single thing I try to say. Eventually he tells us he's 18. I feel some surprise at this, as I thought he looked much older than that (mid 30s/40s), especially since he had a son with him. But suddenly I understand why he'd been refuting everything; I remember and have a feeling of how I was at that age.

      Eventually, we leave through the back of the house I think. I've forgotten whatever else had happened in the conversation, unfortunately.

      Fragment:


      Not sure where exactly, in a flat area in a town. Surfaced or paved. Meeting up with some kids, they tell me how they defeated a legion of monsters, or orcs? Something about the kids didn't feel human, exactly, but I'm not sure why or how.



      Notes:

      - I think H was mostly passive in the first dream.
    8. cxlvi. Phobia Therapy

      by , 08-30-2020 at 07:50 PM
      30th July 2020

      Dream: (DFLN thread) (self-memo: be sure to re-read Sageous comment and my own reply)

      Was at some therapist's office. Looked to be a typical rented office space. I went in and saw a doctor "Hodstatdr Lester" (note, this is my original spelling in the original entry), he insisted gently that I call him Lester.

      He was a well-built man, with a mostly round head (bald?) and with a deep voice. He wore glasses.

      We sat opposite each other on identical chairs. Lightly stained pine frames with blue textile cushions (deep blue?).

      He began by asking me what he could help me with and by saying remarking something about whether or not it would be worth our time, mutually.

      I talked for a little bit, I don't have a recall of the specifics but then I said I had two unresolved phobias. He seemed to nod compliantly and asked me to go on. I remember thinking about what I wanted to say, and then saying it, an unusual process for me during conversation.

      "Well, one of my phobias is what's on your shirt." I said
      "Pockets?" He said with a look of surprise.
      "No" I replied, making a motion with my index running along my sternum.
      "Ah, you mean buttons" He replied.

      I interrupted with "Yes" because I had(have) an aversion to even saying the word at times.

      "Well, you have a [unintelligible prefix]-phobia" He then stated.

      I also had in mind that I wanted to talk about another unresolved phobia. But oddly enough I couldn't remember what it was (and still can't).

      In any case, I said that this phobia name sounded familiar, and just as we were about to start discussing it, I woke up.

      Original notes:

      - While I felt like I could trust him, hesitantly, this feeling was mostly further compromised by the fact that the chairs were oriented in a way that made him be slightly my left and I to his right. This could have been corrected easily when I sat down, by simply turning the chair in a different angle.
      - In addition, the room was large. 6x6 mtrs or so at a guess. But apart from our chairs it was a completely empty office. The floor was carpeted?
      - Finally, there were two windows. One behind and left of the therapist (from my pov) and another one out of sight in the far right corner of the room. It was day time and so the two windows were the only light sources.

      Scraps:

      Mentalist dream, something about young children getting their fingers stamped with hot seals? This was part of some imagined thoughts at some point.

      Something about being in my old home's kitchen, the light was on. Absence of light and darkness from outside. Odd. Mom and T were in the kitchen? Something about cooking, and then a bat flew in and mom notified us, after I'd already spotted it. It was light brown in colour, caramel coloured even.

      One of the very first dreams? Was in a tank in some place near a warehouse and I was shooting civilians with tank shells, because they were being uncooperative somehow. I remember troops on foot scattering from a rear formation to take control of the civilians and the immediate area.
    9. lxxix.

      by , 02-07-2020 at 01:28 AM
      Recorded the majority of these dreams early on in a vague form on my phone on waking up. Had to go somewhere in the car; while I was waiting in the car for an hour, typed everything out in more detail, which I'm now putting on the DJ here.


      First Dream (Some detail missing):

      Fairly long dream. Can’t remember the start now but I would recurringly go for a swim with H but also alone. When I started, I felt weak and slow. I can’t remember the water's temperature.

      We were on some sort of cruise ship but it was mostly empty, and I don’t think it was ever moving. I started to become strong at swimming, when I was back on the decks I can remember feeling like I my chest was sort of almost puffing out from all the swimming workout.

      At some point I was walking down some wooden decking stairs and I could see my parents lounging on some patio type chairs on a higher level. I could hear dad make some sort of mock bird call. I remember then seeing some birds. Seagulls? Dad laughed. H asked from some place below, “is that your dad?” I said yes and then remember continuing down the stairs and losing sight of them.

      It was daytime for most of this dream but I made note of the fact that it was sort of cloudy and grey. I remember a horizon of water. It may have been windy but I don’t remember the sound of it.

      I remember a few times I’d take my boots off, but at no point do I remember what I was wearing.

      When I went swimming, after a short while I’d usually arrive at this sea floor base of some kind. This place did have a lot of people. I remember lockers, the inside of this place almost felt like some swimming pool changing rooms but with a more modern and futuristic feel to it, a bit more like the base from Ocean Girl or the sea city from Bioshock.

      Before this dream or through the middle of it, I was stuck in some sort of void like limbo with H for a time. It was like being in an out of control perpetual fall, and there was a strange light and distant but dark cosmic background. This void was filled with ancient structures and artefacts from unknown civilisations, a lot of the stuff looking like it was from some sort of classic period.

      I remember interacting with some walls and pillars from a distance, with some kind of telekinetic ability, and cutting them up into smaller chunks. As I did their lighting would change, usually to some dramatic purples and yellows.

      At some nearer the “end” of the cruise ship segments I went into this too, to have a wee, but there were no toilets. In the dream my mind was telling me that there were some type of urinals but there was nothing on walls or anything like toilets. Instead there were some tables. I walked past a clear plastic box filled with what looked like cheap and brightly coloured electronic components.

      At the tables were some big circuit boards with several components already soldered on, including some transformers. For whatever reason I had to have a wee on these boards, but I remember someone telling me I could only wee on the electrolytic capacitors... I remember doing it, but on a big black electrolytic cap, and then some guy appeared, who apparently owned all this stuff and told me off just for weeing on the big one. He was annoyed but not angry or shouting.

      Then I remember going out of that room after a short dialogue. I went some stone stairs, in a wide spiral. It reminded me of castles and churches. There were a few murderhole windows where daylight shun from. This was a different place, it was puzzle like. As I reached some kind of landing I immediately realised that the structure was like in some games like Legend of Zelda and some modern puzzles where the paths loop back into themselves, but I could get around the issue of looping paths by taking them whilst walking backwards.

      I remember a crawl space path where the same would happen and there were statues and displays scattered about like some museum. There was a warm artificial mood light and everything had a sort of modern feel to it in the areas with displays.

      Second Dream (Fragment):

      A different dream. I was born out of a big egg, looked mostly like a birds egg but was covered in a polka dot pattern on the outside. A sort of magenta colour to the dots.

      There was some old man in this dream and I remember telling him we all had stomachs made from tin and gold. When I told him there was also sulfuric acid in there, he was incredulous.

      Third Dream? (Fragment) NSFW:

      A still image, as if on a computer, no doubt from a transition phase into wakefulness,
      Spoiler for NSFW:
      One of the stranger things I might draw from time to time. But unusual for this type of thing to appear whilst still sort of in the dreaming context.



      Notes:

      ⁃ Almost immediately after waking up I realised I probably had the swimming and diving dream because I spent so much of last night reading stuff on Dreamviews. It made me feel like the water was representative of dreaming in itself.
      ⁃ When I was reading stuff last night I had some thoughts about symbology, mostly because of the topics but I think also because of something I’d said/posted. I feel this is probably why the dream ended up being so metaphorical.
      ⁃ I ended up taking the whole swimming and diving experience, which in the dream made me stronger, as a sign that I may be making some progress again with dreaming. There was just a sort of clear association in my head when I woke up that all of this was a metaphor for how I was doing lately.
      ⁃ The void filled with artefacts etc. also felt relevant in that context because it seemed like a collection of lost and unknown culture.
      ⁃ This void was very similar to the Chthonic voids found in Grim Dawn, probably because I was also playing that a bit last night.