• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccciv.

      by , 07-21-2021 at 10:36 AM
      17th July 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm in an office building of some kind, maybe a hospital. It's well lit but there are no windows and it's mostly corridors. I'm with someone I think and we get to this bit that's like a waiting area, with chairs. There are some people sat on the chairs. The walls are a neutral colour, maybe cream? There are two doors on the same wall, some distance apart and with some of the chairs in-between.

      I think we wait around for a bit but then the person I'm with is supposed to go in, so they do. I think there's a doctor but I get a feel of radio presenter too somehow.

      (recall gap)

      I have to leave and reach some elevators. I call a lift to go up. In the dream I don't find this odd but in the dream there was the feeling that I was somewhere high up already. The doors for the lift on the left open. The lift is there but sort of stuck at a lower level. I assume there's some kind of sensor malfunction and feel myself sort of sighing, slightly annoyed. I call it again with the button on the wall and it moves to the correct position.

      The lift is one of those more commercial ones, like ones I've seen in malls. I think I enter the lift and there's a transition. Then, I'm outside somewhere supposedly nearby the building I was in. I'm in contact with the person I was with before, not sure how. I then need to enter some sort of or small octagonal building or tent but it's guarded. Something about a remote controlled hand that would help me.

      (rest of recall had faded)



      19th July 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm on the bed with H. We're opposite each other and our positions are width ways relative to the bed. The bedroom light is on but I don't think it's night time. We're playing sexually and I feel myself go prematurely for some reason, possibly overstimulation. It seems I made a mess on the bed, at spots that don't make sense for the angles involved, but I don't realise this during the dream.

      Then I suddenly become aware of a black cat being to my right, around the middle of the bed. The cat looks relaxed and resting having only momentarily appeared surprised. It looks like the small female cat that we sometimes see in our street. (which I had seen the previous evening)
    2. cclxxxi. Lady playing on consoles, Automated office building, Scraps

      by , 06-07-2021 at 01:57 PM
      7th June 2021

      Fragment:

      At some version of my current home. Through the office window, I see a flatbed trailer with organ and piano consoles on it. It implies the room is actually at ground floor. I am excited when I see a lady playing on the consoles as I approach the window. I go out of the room and call H to come and see; he comes with me to the room to look but now she's actually in the room, which seems to have expanded in width. I try to get her attention but she's focused on her playing and she's wearing headphones but eventually realises and we say hello to each other and so on. She then talks to H about something, she seems happy or content, smiling at us a lot. There was more to this dream but I cannot recall it now.


      Dream:

      In a city, I'm by a body of water. I enter a skyscraper building located here. It's empty of people but has automated systems in place and is not abandoned. Sliding doors open automatically and I enter a huge ground floor lobby. The building heavily features tinted glass and there's a blood red colour scheme which on some level I really enjoy. There's a sunset, but I don't see it directly, just its effect of light and shadow length. In the lobby, I nervously but excitedly approach a lift entrance, the doors slide open immediately as I get close.

      There's a console in this bit which isn't the actual elevator yet, I use a password "number3" and I'm relieved when it works. Another set of doors, like mall lift doors but sort of like blast doors, slide open and I enter the lift proper now. It quickly takes me up to the top of the building or something, an off-limits area. I exit the lift and enter a sealed room with no windows, some glass sliding doors opening as I walk in, into a second room that really didn't require that separation by the glass doors. The colour scheme remains the same. I know I'm trespassing and fear being caught, but I revel in the fact there's nobody around.

      I use the same password as before at a computer terminal at the end of the room, it's in a sort of alcove and it's a touch-screen which had sort of flipped itself around towards me. The terminal grants me access to lots of things, but I'm not sure what. I return to this dream location through the exact same process later on in the dream, but when I do, I arrive at the building in H's van and am talking to him over the phone.

      I remember another part in-between the two times at the building, in the middle of the city instead. I hear a group of guys talking trash. One guy says he listens to people's life stories of things gone horribly wrong or traumatic events and then he himself manipulates people by copying these stories and pretending they actually happened to him even though they didn't. Eventually, feeling I heard enough, I feel angry and come out around the corner I was listening from. I walk towards where his voice was, but now there's nobody there, even though I remember seeing them just before. I'm still charged with the emotion and don't stop myself from having a go at him verbally, even if he's not there anymore.

      Suddenly I take notice of and become distracted by some buildings that are here in front of me. They're very concrete-like, bare, no windows, like they're half-finished but in the dream I feel they are more half-abandoned. I enter one to my right, it goes further than it looked like it would and feels like I'm sort of walking into an industrial area. I go up a low incline concrete ramp. Here, I see an alien egg and shoot at it with something which makes it burst and then something scurries out but I somehow capture it at a distance using something else. Ahead, there are more eggs and I have a proximity scanner (not unlike in Alien). I shoot these eggs and they all burst in a sequence, again crawling facehugger things come out and I try to capture them all, only just managing to do so. I was concerned that if they got away there would be too many drones (I remember imagining this).


      Scraps:


      Mom, dad and T. I'm getting a drink and talking to dad, in a kitchen that looked like it was part of some hotel rooms I remember us staying in when I was a kid.

      Some other dream involving M/M themes or something.

      A different dream where someone was commenting that my junk was too visible through my clothes, I felt resentment at the comment as I felt it was not in my control.



      Quick Edited Notes:

      - Re-reading the main dream I realised that it's somewhat unlike most of my more recent dreams, which to my memory seem much more emotionally neutral.

      - Alien related theme probably came from recently watching some of that stuff again. The link with concrete doesn't seem clear but the concrete in itself may relate to both emotional states (or lack of) and my own view of my own art at times (unable to depict emotion); Alien has a direct link to Giger for me and therefore to a specific style of surrealist art, too.

      Updated 06-08-2021 at 01:52 AM by 95293 (added notes)

      Categories
      dream fragment , non-lucid
    3. cclxxi. Giving dad some coins, Meeting up with an old friend and getting bitten

      by , 05-22-2021 at 03:35 PM
      19th May 2021

      Fragment (remembered this while in the car and thinking about money):

      I'm somewhere, meeting back up with dad. I'm giving him several old pound coins. I deliberately picked old ones instead of newer ones to give him and I remember ruffling through something (a cloth bag?) to get them.



      20th May 2021

      Fragment:


      I'm in a version of my old town. It's dark, night time, but no street lights or anything? I meet up with D (childhood friend), an accidental meeting. I follow him into a building, climbing some stairs that lead up to the ground floor where the entrance is. The building is the one opposite of the cafe on the main street.

      (transition)

      We're then inside his apartment, but like the building, it's not the same as it would be in waking life. There's a lot of stuff everywhere and I make some remark on how it's comforting to know that other people can also have this issue. It's mostly clothes, clean but unarranged and piled up. I forget what we talk about, but we discuss something. It's dark here too, but more like dawn than night. There's a cold ambient light.

      Then, I think I need a wee and I go somewhere in the flat. I go into this sort of secret compartment behind something and I forget all about needing a wee as I climb down a wall ladder comprised of metal loops in the wall. Then this part has a connection to the lift shaft. It's dark and goes a long way down in there. I look away? The rest of the room is some kind of cubical underhang thing on the building. There's a barred window in here at some two or three feet away. It looks much brighter on the outside, like it's daytime there. I look again into the lift shaft and the aperture is smaller than before now.

      I'd have to crawl first to fit through now and drop down. A mouse, two mice come out. They look clean but I don't trust them. One gets close and for whatever reason I still reach toward it with my hand. It gets on top of my hand and bites me. It doesn't hurt a lot but I feel worried about getting an infection. I'm angry at the mouse but quickly forget about it. I go elsewhere, not sure where, and there I eventually wash my hands in a bathroom.

      (there was a lot more to this dream but I couldn't recall much)

      Notes:
      - Before I fell asleep on night preceding the 19th fragment, I was again thinking of a general thing of Occipitalred's thoughts on dream awareness.

      - It's ironic that only just recently I told Occipitalred I couldn't remember any dreams about money but then just a day or so before I had indeed dreamed about the subject of money in some form.

      - I like to collect old and non-circulating coins, even if they are actually fairly recent. It seems odd that I would give dad the older ones rather than the newer ones, especially since in the dream there was some subtext of money being required to pay something banal.

      - The dream with the mouse is one of a few recent-ish ones where a rodent has appeared.
    4. ccxxxi. A town fair

      by , 02-22-2021 at 01:57 PM
      22nd February 2021

      Dream:

      I'm in a hotel or apartment building. I'm on a floor above ground level but don't know which; I am walking towards a lobby-looking hall, with elevators and I want to go to the ground floor. There's this group of four black guys in their late teens, they seem to be shadowing me but I don't let it bother me even though they look like they could easily be trouble if they wanted to.

      I let them know I've seen them by looking at one of them in the eye, through a mirror showing us all. The mirror is between the elevator doors. None of us speak, that I can recall and they're just doing their own thing behind me at any rate, some kind of non-verbal communication.

      (recall gap)

      I'm outside, in the streets of a town. It's night time? I have awareness of Covid, but I'm not wearing a mask. It bothers me, but for some reason I make no effort to find one. Throughout most of the dream onwards this bothers me a bit on some level.

      At some point I meet up with M, whom I haven't seen in years in waking life. I remember he has a car? Like an SUV or something. There's something about my aunt B too.

      I walk around town, it's a bit like there's some kind of annual fair on. I am finding these little areas where there's some kind of more conventional role playing game involving furries in fursuits. But they look much more realistic, like they're actually their characters. One of them tells me they will actually pay me if I participate in the games wearing a fursuit myself. I think to myself I wouldn't mind, but I don't have one and would likely end up feeling embarrassed anyhow.

      (recall is vague for the following two paragraphs)

      At one point I'm climbing some stone stairs. It's sort of outdoors, but under some kind of natural rock formation? There's these two statues... I've seen them elsewhere in the dream. They look like they're flowing with some magical energy, it's a deep blue colour. The statues are damaged, incomplete. I remember thinking they're supposed to be in some museum somewhere, but this is actually their original location. This is a different place from the town? In Russia somewhere, I somehow understand. This is where they were first discovered.

      The statues are from ancient Greece, but from a more mythological period or something. They look like the lower bodies of some serpentine creatures, scaly. The heads are missing and one statue practically only has the very bottom of it left. I remember going past the statues while thinking about the whole thing, then I go up some more stone stairs. There's one of those role playing games again here, I forget what happens but it's some kind of murder mystery and I'm greeted by a furry who is dark and almost crawling at ground level, and he seems eager for me to take part in the game.

      Eventually I come across an attraction which takes place in a castle. I remember telling M I would try it out and that I'd let him know later all about it. You have to queue up for the attraction but initially there's just me and one other person.

      A heavy wooden door opens and allows us in. Inside, I immediately gain a HUD and there's some semblance to Legend of Zelda. I grab a knife, it looks toy-like and oversized somehow. I use it to attack some creatures. I then find a mace, in a similar style. My ally goes first through the next door. A stone armour golem tries to ambush him from behind but I hit it with the mace on the head, making enough noise my ally notices and doesn't get ambushed. We defeat the golem.

      We're now in a big room. It's church-like, cathedral-like, even. There's a Dark Souls feel to it. A boss is in the middle, we try fighting it but it deals a lot of damage.

      (memory intrusion?)

      Something about WoW, a group of players fighting a boss. One player is a monk tanking and rolling around and healing himself but not quickly enough.

      Then, we have eventually lost our battle with the boss in the church-like room. I am outside now and at the queue again? There's a lot more people here waiting this time. They're all younger than me and some look very impatient and like they'd be a bit rude.

      (recall gap)

      I'm on some castellated bit, across from the castle with the game attraction in it. There's other people here too, sat at rudimentary and makeshift artillery things that have a fantasy feel to them. I try one, but it's broken and does nothing. Sunset? I recall artillery from these guns going into the core of the other castle, I remember they were supposedly targetting the boss and providing support this way.

      I forget the rest but the dream ended soon after.



      Notes:
      - I feel the chronology of the dream is messed up versus what it actually was, but I didn't try to fix it.

      - There's something very personal to this dream about the dichotomy of me separating my life into separate organised areas of thought. Yesterday I had been thinking of consolidating some things.
    5. lxxxi.

      by , 02-09-2020 at 12:53 PM
      Some dream fragments. There was a third one but I have such a faint and vague memory of it, not even sure where I'd start. I practically lost the other ones while getting up but made sure to keep my eyes closed as much as possible until I could write here, which helped.




      Dream Fragment:


      I remember being at some sort of concrete structure. I'm not sure if I was "me" but a couple of other people were here too, I think one of them was that Torres guy from NCIS. This place was dark and there was a massive abyss right in front of us. Across this abyss was another flat area made of concrete and there were some soldiers there. They were holding us here or something and they shouted that we should stay put.

      The soldiers got on a platform and it started moving down very fast. They disappeared from sight. Somewhere down there was some light, but it must have been a literal mile or more away. Then some more soldiers appeared but this time they didn't wait for the platform and just jumped down where the platform shaft area was. I was intrigued but at some point in the dream I simply "knew" that at the bottom was a special fluid that would break any fall, no matter from how high.

      Torres like the idea of just jumping across and into that specific area. I felt it was too risky. It was a long way down and there was no way to aim ourselves properly and the gap between the two concrete areas was quite wide. But he got on some sort of pole hanging from our side and got closer to the other side, hanging just over the middle. Then some soldiers came back up on the platform and noticed. They started shouting at him and warning him to stop. He ignored them and now he grabbed onto some rope that was hanging from the ceiling. That's as much as I remember clearly for this fragment.

      I do remember there were no light sources. We were very deep underground most certainly, but somehow we had a light radius of our own, like in RPGs where the characters just give off light...

      Dream Fragment:

      I don't remember how I got there but I arrived at a small lab/office place. This dream was somewhat vivid, more than the other one. There were two researchers, wearing labcoats, and one of them greeted me. He seemed a bit uninterested at first but then he saw my boots. They were covered in some sort of pale golden sand. I realised I hadn't noticed this myself until that moment and he became very interested. He went over to a counter and showed me some tins with rounded caps.

      The caps were all a shade of gold or tan. He asked me to see which one I thought was closest. I selected four of the tins first just as a guess. Then I held them and made their coloured cap be over my right boot in my vision. The first wasn't it, too orange. The second and third one seemed similar, the fourth one was too dark but the right hue. I compared between the second and third against the sand and decided the third one was the closest. He seemed happy with this and I felt somewhat happy to help. I made a comment saying "well at least I can definitely tell that my skill at recognising shades correctly has improved". I genuinely felt this was true in that moment and realise now that it was indeed a very accurate test of my skill in this.

      The other researcher was just doing something on his own over on another counter but I don't remember what. Oddly enough, despite looking at my feet, can't be certain what the floor was like. Some sort of plastic tiles? Maybe wood. But square shapes. The counters were an off white on the top and a light stained wood on the cabinets. There were a couple of windows to the outside and I made note of the fact that it was daytime outside, but the room was quite brightly lit anyway with some fluorescent lamps that actually gave off a warm colour for once.

      This whole dream bit felt like it was in sequence of the previous one or another one between them.



      Side notes:

      - It could possibly be the first time while dreaming where I had to use a skill that I'd use for painting in waking life. For me this is a particularly good sign because for a long time I've wanted that context to come over into dreams in some form.
      - The researchers wearing labcoats were clearly dreamsigns that I missed. The labcoat is a dreamsign I successfully managed to insert into my dreams as a dreamsign a while back, I think last year or the year before.
      - The dust on my boots reminded me very much of gold powder in the dream. In the dream I had a much clearer notion of where I had been previously, which was relevant for that context.
      - Despite looking at my boots and remembering them very clearly as the black leather army-type boots I have in waking life, I only vaguely remember my trousers and can't really say which ones they were. It seems odd that my boots are the only detail I remember clearly from looking down, despite the fact that in the dream everything was the same level of vividness.
      - I do remember I was wearing some sort of dark hoodie in that dream. I remember it because I remember the sensation of having the sleeves pulled up, something I often do if I'm indoors.
      - Don't have much at all to make note of from the first dream since many details are vague now, but the fall-breaking fluid definitely made me think of stuff from Portal and from Satisfactory.