• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccci. Meeting at a church, Visiting an in-dream dream location, Living in a mall

      by , 07-11-2021 at 07:03 PM
      11th July 2021

      ~7:30
      Fragment:

      Transitioning from the TBC era to WLK era. T is there as his paladin at one point. There's something very Roman-esque about the setting? We need to complete some gold-payment quest to continue on into the city. There's a group of randoms with us, part of our party.

      Fragment:

      In a place like L, by the pier area I think. There's a lot of commotion because of an upcoming football match. It's dark-ish, twilight-like, orange and purple hues in the sky? I want to take the subway to go somewhere, but first I got into this church. Many people are leaving an on-going service in the church but many still remain.

      Aunt G enters the church, I notice her and approach, getting her attention. She eventually recognises me and I tell her we should go somewhere together (to make up for lost time?) because I realise this place is actually quite crowded. I don't entirely feel safe, I think. Someone, an older lady but not as old as my aunt, she's putting up cordons and tells us we can't go in a certain area of the church. She had white hair, maybe tied back.

      The church is artificially lit, quite a warm light which contrasts with the twilight. Originally I wanted to move towards one of the areas that was cordoned off. We end up leaving the church and heading down a nearby subway entrance.

      (recall gap)

      We are next to a guy who's a pipe maker. I tell my aunt how many churches just can't afford new pipes, even though they'd benefit from them. The pipe maker gives us a statistic; only about five-hundred thousand out of one and a half million can afford such things. I realise and remark that it's only a third. I also remark that the distribution is going to be geographically unfair or disproportionate, too.

      (after writing these two, I got up and had thoughts about WBTB as I got back in bed)


      ~10:00
      Fragment:

      Visiting a church with H. In the dream, I had a dream where I'd visited this church and it was sort of empty. So, when we're there together, I already know the layout. During the dream, this made me vaguely think of "vision quest" dreaming and that sort of thing (no doubt related to reading Dreamgates before bed). The church has an odd layout, the rooms are laid in an inwards spiralling fashion. One of the back rooms we go through is tiled and looks a bit industrial.

      It has four big cylindrical tanks, all white. They're about twice and a half our height. I understand them to be part of some boiler system. A man, possibly the warden, is showing us around the church, some kind of introduction.

      Before this, me and H are outside. We just got out of the van. It's dark? I don't remember the grounds too well but there are tall trees and low dry-stone walls. H shows me something about a painting, which resides out here, on the external church walls. The painting is very big, mostly vertical. It's about one yard wide by four yards tall.

      The painting itself is kind of sepia in tones. It has a sketch-like look. At first I just see some eyes at the top, like part of an incomplete portrait, but as I move it around (because I'm moving it to hang it on another wall), the image changes. On some level, this makes me think of those "holo" images.

      Fragment:


      At a mall place with H. We live in a flat inside the mall, accessible via an escalator through a store, it's either a clothing or jewellery store. Some people I know from school are here, there's some interaction. Rest of recall is gone.



      Notes:
      - We went today somewhere that took us the same road that we can take when we went to see a pipe maker. This was recently, so I wonder if that dream theme was influenced by this.

      - The TBC->WLK dream theme probably came from a nostalgia of the actual WLK period and from having some interest in its classic revival. On the other hand, I have little or no interest in paying to play the game, especially since there's very little social motivation for me to do so. The last time I went on, the atmosphere was more "toxic" than I recalled, something I found hugely disappointed, making me feel like some people just never grow up. Perhaps when I played many years ago, I was just that much younger that I didn't think much of it/just ignored it or maybe it wasn't that far removed from daily life, but now it would just bother me.
      -- I still find WoW dream themes to be fairly enjoyable, since they do tend to focus on the sense of adventure, combat or exploration, which were feelings that were much more present in me when I was younger. I haven't felt a genuine sense of wonder about anything at all for many years.

      - In the area where I used to live, the mall has flats over it. Although the mall in the dream had a more "airport-shops" feel to it, the rest of the associations seemed fairly close to memory of home.
    2. cclxxxv. Visiting MoonageDaydream for a donation

      by , 06-18-2021 at 08:35 AM
      17th June 2021

      Mostly going from end to start.

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm in a city, I'm walking outside with MoonageDaydream, HumbleDreamer and another woman that I don't recognise or recall anymore.

      The dream ends when we are walking down a hill on a paved bit. It's cobbles and it mostly follows the hill but becomes stairs at some points where there's too much incline. Just before, I'm thinking out loud about how it reminds me of my native country, thinking that it looks to have more buildings however. I am beside the unknown woman, possibly slightly from behind and touching her shoulders, "It's funny, I don't remember getting here" and then I look at my right hand and begin counting the fingers from the back. The count seems normal at a glance but I feel self-conscious trying this RC in public. I think about M/M themes in this city but nothing manifests or changes.

      It's about near sunset and there's a sea visible from this hill. I start thinking about an airport and the name of the town, feeling dumb for not remembering and then I wake up.

      Just before this part, the four of us were crossing a road. It's a busy place and there are loads of people (or so it feels). We're somewhere in the USA supposedly and people are generally amused by my presence, seeming to think I'm British despite having no such accent. We have just come out of a store and as we cross this road with crossing island, I think about how there's Covid but nobody is wearing any face coverings. I also think to myself about how I've had my first jab, on my right art. (In reality I haven't yet)

      HumbleDreamer seems moody or perhaps overly serious for most of the walking around, but he doesn't really act that way. I am afraid that I have done something to upset him. At one point he says he got here from France and there's a segment where he's making a video for YouTube in a mostly white room, I forget what about.

      Back to the store, it's like an airport shop come to think of it. It's very generic and enclosed, at the end of a corridor. People interact with me and the group and this is the main reason I end up thinking about Covid. The person behind the till, a white middle-aged American woman, with short hair, kisses my hand or something and another woman offers a bite of a pizza slice to the group but we decline politely. Just before we get to the till, I'm talking to the unknown woman about snacks and such and how they're much cheaper here, because we saw a vending machine in the corridor leading to the shop. It's dark in the corridor except for some strong hue lights, reds and greens mostly. The drinks are like little cartons of apple juice and so on and cost about thirty cents, making me think I could buy about three or four versus the cost that I'm used to. The snacks are mostly potato stuff.

      We talk about how there's not a lot of importing around here, for some reason.

      Before the corridor and some dark halls, we are in a church yard of some kind. It's all mostly paved, gritty or gravel. There's a dry fountain in the middle, made of stone? It's MoonageDaydream's school workplace apparently. We came all the way here from wherever we came from to give her a donation, but I'd forgotten my hundred and twenty five dollars that I was to give her. I fear the group is disappointed with me but suspect MoonageDaydream is fine with it. I decide to give it to her as soon as I can.

      The church/school building itself is very grey and looks a bit like Gaudi's style, very bulbous and round shapes and some mini spires. I remark on this and comment on how it must be Spanish in origin, therefore. The outside of the building has a render made up with large smooth stones that can fit in a hand's palm. I talk about the building style with the group but I don't recall their comments.

      There was more recall but I felt too tired writing my initial notes.



      Notes:

      - When I woke up, I thought about how some of my conclusions during the dream were a bit hasty and I thought about how I could have become lucid at the end.
      -- In a way, it's unusual that I thought about how I got there, I just found myself trying to think of the trip there and the airport and finding I couldn't remember, partly attributing it to tiredness from the trip.

      - Unlike the other dream where I'd only heard MoonageDaydream, in this dream I could see her and HumbleDreamer clearly. Their details as characters seemed accurate to how I remember their profile pictures here.
    3. cclxxi. Giving dad some coins, Meeting up with an old friend and getting bitten

      by , 05-22-2021 at 03:35 PM
      19th May 2021

      Fragment (remembered this while in the car and thinking about money):

      I'm somewhere, meeting back up with dad. I'm giving him several old pound coins. I deliberately picked old ones instead of newer ones to give him and I remember ruffling through something (a cloth bag?) to get them.



      20th May 2021

      Fragment:


      I'm in a version of my old town. It's dark, night time, but no street lights or anything? I meet up with D (childhood friend), an accidental meeting. I follow him into a building, climbing some stairs that lead up to the ground floor where the entrance is. The building is the one opposite of the cafe on the main street.

      (transition)

      We're then inside his apartment, but like the building, it's not the same as it would be in waking life. There's a lot of stuff everywhere and I make some remark on how it's comforting to know that other people can also have this issue. It's mostly clothes, clean but unarranged and piled up. I forget what we talk about, but we discuss something. It's dark here too, but more like dawn than night. There's a cold ambient light.

      Then, I think I need a wee and I go somewhere in the flat. I go into this sort of secret compartment behind something and I forget all about needing a wee as I climb down a wall ladder comprised of metal loops in the wall. Then this part has a connection to the lift shaft. It's dark and goes a long way down in there. I look away? The rest of the room is some kind of cubical underhang thing on the building. There's a barred window in here at some two or three feet away. It looks much brighter on the outside, like it's daytime there. I look again into the lift shaft and the aperture is smaller than before now.

      I'd have to crawl first to fit through now and drop down. A mouse, two mice come out. They look clean but I don't trust them. One gets close and for whatever reason I still reach toward it with my hand. It gets on top of my hand and bites me. It doesn't hurt a lot but I feel worried about getting an infection. I'm angry at the mouse but quickly forget about it. I go elsewhere, not sure where, and there I eventually wash my hands in a bathroom.

      (there was a lot more to this dream but I couldn't recall much)

      Notes:
      - Before I fell asleep on night preceding the 19th fragment, I was again thinking of a general thing of Occipitalred's thoughts on dream awareness.

      - It's ironic that only just recently I told Occipitalred I couldn't remember any dreams about money but then just a day or so before I had indeed dreamed about the subject of money in some form.

      - I like to collect old and non-circulating coins, even if they are actually fairly recent. It seems odd that I would give dad the older ones rather than the newer ones, especially since in the dream there was some subtext of money being required to pay something banal.

      - The dream with the mouse is one of a few recent-ish ones where a rodent has appeared.
    4. cxxxviii.

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:01 AM
      27th June 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but details faded. Remember being in the mountains, by myself. It was a sort of twilight hour. I remember looking under what was a false boulder and there was money under there, a few thousand euros and pounds. There was a message saying I was to take as much as I wanted.

      I stuffed it all in my shorts pockets.

      Then I remember thinking about going back home or something, I felt like I was lost in an unknown country. I arrived at a hotel place of some sorts and H was there in the role of a generic servant or something.

      (Transition/recall gap.)

      In some kind of big store. There's only a few people around, it's day time and not much artificial lighting is needed in here as it seems to be adequately lit naturally. Then this group of guys comes in and they are a bit stocky, not fat though. They are going to rob a vault at the store. They do so and there isn't much fuss about it, apart from the odd scream from a woman. I hear them talking or something and they managed to steal 6.2 billion.

      I think about how much money that is, and how it looks so small physically, as they only carried a few sacks of notes between them. I remember maybe being in the car with them and talking about their robbed loot.



      Notes:

      - Although I remember having this dream since it wasn't that long ago, none of the visual recall seems to be coming back really, so in that sense I can't consider it very memorable at this time.
      - I remember there was a fair bit of dialogue in this dream, but this is typically amongst my most easily lost details.
    5. cviii.

      by , 04-02-2020 at 12:59 PM
      A few dreams though I only remember bits of them.



      Dream Fragment:

      I remember being in a somewhat dark room and having a discussion with some people about age, in the dream I was around an age when my hair would start greying, starting at the front and just lightly. Mom was there and she commented on how it was just like her dad's hair. I remembered a photo of him that mom has kept in her home office for years since his passing. Then I remember seeing a mirror and seeing myself on it. I looked older but unimaginatively so, but my hair did look a lot like his, except for the fact that his would have curled slightly.

      Dream Fragment:

      Perhaps from another segment of the previous dream, but I remember something about trains and a kind of alien (Mars-like?) desert. Day time, clear sky. There were some really high-tech-looking trains and one such train went up a hill into a rounded futuristic building. I was with a group of people (friends?) and we were walking in the opposite direction, though I kept looking. The engine carriage separated and sort of shot off on its own along the rails and quickly hit an end-track bit, bouncing back and then hitting the rest of the carriages. It was some type of freight train, and its ornamental features matched that of the building, featuring a warm orange.

      Dream Fragment:

      Something about me or captain Picard, in a large office room of some kind. Other people both friendly and not-so-friendly were there, and we were there to ask for money I think. Starting at 30,000 but then the guy didn't want to give us any more, so then there was this little scene where Picard walked closer to him slowly and then started punching him very fast until the guy, who was also kind of old, fell down on a spiral staircase. He didn't go all the way down or anything, just a couple of steps on his back, because the degree between each step was very small (less than half foot?).

      The staircase steps were marble and the handrail looked fancy, but I don't remember it in detail. I remember a woman speaking after this had happened and she said "well, now you have 25,000, since you have to take away 5,000 just for that". But then before the dream ended there was something about a million, I don't remember.




      Notes:
      - Recently in waking life I'd been thinking about how I don't really ever remember seeing mirrors in my dreams, so I think that's partly what brought on one's appearance in the first fragment.
      - Typically, despite being the result of a previous conscious thought during wakefulness, I did not realise the connection between the two things in the dream. This is happening quite a bit lately, which is frustrating at times. But it may just be that my recall is also decent lately, so maybe I just think I notice it happening more but it may just always happen this frequently and I haven't realised before.
      - Featuring myself as being older may also come as the result of conscious thought from waking life, as I often question why I'm always my current age in dreams. Although in the dream, until the hair thing was made obvious by the mirror, I did just feel like my current age anyway.
      - In the train dream, the group that was with me was a bit shocked with the collision, but I had been expecting it. The dream had a slight Borderlands feel to it.
      - There was a fourth dream fragment also involving trains but in a completely different context. I can't put the visuals into words now.
      - The dream with Picard may have just been some continuation of the first fragment. I'm really not sure anymore if these dreams were directly linked or not, because I don't remember any transitions and I had several awakenings this morning.
    6. lxvi.

      by , 11-06-2018 at 12:35 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up about 3 times through the morning, between 8:20, the time for my alarm, then at 9 something then at 10:20. Some long-ish dreams but think they've fragmented.



      Fragment 1:
      At a square or cathedral. There with partner (H), something to do with pipe organs.

      Then outside, at the square. Nice cobbles and layout. Remember meeting up with my parents and having them ask why I didn't have a stand here selling old coins; I remember explaining that I'd worked out that the cost to make them look new, plus the cost to rent the space, plus other things I don't remember now, meant that it was far too expensive and not worth it at all. I also remember explaining that I didn't have nearly enough coins to make it worthwhile.

      Then at some version of my childhood home with my parents. At the rear balcony of the flat. Things look blocky like a voxel game. I remember blue leaves and yellow logs. We were on the 6th or 7th floor, judging by the height.

      Fragment 2:
      A friend of ours, M, was buying crap again.

      Fragment 3:
      At some sort of flat. Don't remember what lead up to this scene anymore.

      There was a tongue and lips art sculpture thing on a wall. Then it became a bit more real and I then remember a giant furry outside the flat, peeking in. I remember the fur was white and the eyes were blue. I think it was a girl and she said something.



      Some notes:
      • The appearance of my parents and the questions about the "coin stand", has to do with how they often want me to try and do something else, since they are concerned I won't be able to support myself. This type of appearance in a dream is perhaps validating their concerns in part. When I was awake in bed I remember thinking about carpentry again.
      • Being at the cathedral with H seems to be merely a reflection of recent events, as I help H with pipe organ work.
      • Both the first and the third dreams were a lot longer, and I woke up sweating with the third dream; this has been happening a few times recently where I wake up sweating at about 10:20 with vivid-ish dreams. Generally being too hot is what makes the dreams vivid, as far as I can tell. Unfortunately it also means my mind is a bit more active when I'm actually awake, making it easier to forget details.
    7. lvi.

      by , 10-22-2018 at 12:19 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up at about 7:40, I was very hot, remembering a non-lucid as I came out of it; initially wasn't going to make note of it but did so on my phone, remembering more detail than expected but quite tired so some details missed. Then I woke up again at around 11:00, with a non-lucid dream in memory that started fragmenting but didn't disappear as I got up.



      Dream 1:
      Was dreaming I was walking through a supermarket store with my partner (H) and it was a bit busy. The shop had a weird layout and looked like it was just in an old warehouse; the floor was a mix of large tiles and bare concrete? It was day outside and some light could get in through corrugated plastic that was only partly translucent. The place didn't look all that clean.

      Got to the other end and there was a tourniquet and a guy watching over it behind a counter. Somehow H had a ticket, it looked green and bulky. I asked if we should both go through at the same time but instantly I thought this wasn't a good idea with the guy watching so closely even if it was busy.

      I tried asking the guy about getting a ticket and he wasn't very interested in helping me and gestured to a machine. I ran up to it as some other people were slowly getting up to it too. I got in line first and probably annoyed the others; I couldn't read the screen properly because it looked like a calculator's liquid crystal display and it was small and dirty. Background was typical dry yellow-green and black letters.

      I faffed about with the controls because I couldn't see or reach properly. I felt twisted trying to use the machine. A kid with a yellow cap helped me and I thanked her and gave her a pat on the cap saying "thank you, you're a good kid" and I think she smiled.

      Struggling to get my wallet out from my (left?) pants pocket. I got it out and it was the wallet I have in waking life; there was a flat bit on the machine and I opened the coin bit and dumped it over the flat area and a lot of junk came out; there was a tiny blazon thing, some rocky/gravel fragments, and other things I don't remember. The total money I had that I could use was about 1.14 or something, and I apparently needed 1.73 or so for the machine.

      I put the crap back in my wallet and inserted what money I had somewhere into the machine and got the ticket and ran back to the tourniquet and H had already gone past it. I tried passing too now with the ticket but it wouldn't work and the guy at the counter said it didn't have enough money in it, I said "I know it doesn't but I don't have enough cash on me" to which he replied "you can pay with contactless...". I said "I didn't even notice any card payments" and I was hoping he'd pity me or feel sorry for me at least and be kind but I tried asking him to just sort it out with me here and now, but he ignored me and eventually told me to go walk around and get back to him.

      H come back but it wasn't H anymore but a friend from my childhood M, and I asked him what happened to him, as his nose was all bloody. I remember him smiling but don't remember his answer.

      I walked around and watched people in the shop getting milk and so on, and as I walk along, this black teenager has a trolley that acts like a spider or something; as he comes past me I smile awkwardly because somehow I think it's amusing and he was smiling too. I remember thinking he'd modified the trolley himself.

      Going through a cheap art prints section, it's very busy, and I appreciate seeing some of the art pieces anyway. I get to the end of the aisle and it's a corner of the building, so there's only a left turn, which I take and there are some vases with big-ish plants in them, like small palms. I start heading back to the guy at the counter and the tourniquet and then this bouncy beach ball appears and is going towards the vases; I see it hit one and I watch until it's just about to hit the ground, turning my head back in the direction I was walking and it makes a thud noise, presumably not breaking, and I hear people sigh in relief.

      Then the tourniquet guy accuses some youth and me as being responsible; I say I don't even know this guy and I was walking around like he'd told me in the first place and get pissed off, feeling like punching him in the face. I wake up sweating and too hot.

      Dream 2 (in pieces):
      I was in some unknown place, it was night and there were ancient Egyptian buildings. It was dark but I remember some creatures or some danger, and there was a pick-up truck thing, which someone was driving; they told me to get in the back and I remember climbing over in a rushed manner and sort of fumbling into the back.

      We drove away I think. Transition?

      In a building nearby, ancient. Dark inside, some faint blue glows. I remember previous parts of the dream where I was collecting some blue glowing stones, and here was a final one or something; this was a fourth stone.

      In this building there were two tiers, the ground level and a higher level on a bridge. There was some sort of lift mechanism to go up. I went up to the bridge, made of glass and maybe some metal, and there was a door at the end; glowing blue, faintly, with 4 square sections, for the stones. Dream implied I placed them and transition, unsure where to, but maybe I remember a dark hall next. Some sort of pet creature, a cat? Dream is too fragmented at this point and there are several possible fragments that could fit here, but not enough detail for them...

      At some point at the ground floor of a tall building, modern, day time, lots of glass, light coming in from outside. Some sort of levitating lift platform, my mom is nearby I seem to remember, but I break the platform trying to use it. A guy gets annoyed at me and I say "look it's fine, I can fix it" and I see there's a circuit board and I inspect it looking for an issue; it's snapped at one of the ends but it actually doesn't seem so important that it can't just be jumped with a new lead and some components moved; I do it somehow and it's fixed but the guy wasn't happy anyway.

      Transition, at the top of the same building, arrived in some sort of elevator. A much smaller room, but still like a big office hall, but glass all around still. I really need a wee and ask someone to use the bathroom, they tell me to go to a horizontal cylinder near one of the windows; apparently this thing is the toilet... I get inside this plastic tube thing, it is really uncomfortable inside, and I start getting pain hypersensitivity because there are sharp plastic edges and I ask for help to get out because I can't manage on my own; I give up on the toilet idea and am annoyed by the fact that these people aren't sensible to just have a bathroom that's actually a room.

      There is a big door. Reminds me now of a level transition door from STRAFE's final levels. I remember going through, different feel to this area. Isolated, darker, but still bright. There's someone else here, some sort of boss? But they're hidden, and I remember walking around at a calm pace, exploring. It looks like some sort of game level, there are conveyor belts and pick ups and dark pits. I see some glowing green panels, again, like STRAFE. I don't remember what I did next or what happened but woke up soon after.



      Some notes:
      • Dreams from which I wake up too hot I think have an inverse cause-effect relationship. I think I'm having those dreams because I'm too hot, as when my body temperature regulation goes bad I start to get a lot of mental side-effects (if I'm awake and body temperature goes awry I start getting "fever-dream" effects).
      • The kid that had the cap, the cap was like ones I've seen (and worn) in my childhood, when I was very young and we went to the beach, for one example.
      • Though I wasn't aware of it at any level in the dream, there were actually a lot of elements in the last part of the 2nd dream that reminded me of a mixture of STRAFE and certain malls I've been to.
      • The other glowing blue stones weren't just dream memories, I had actually dreamed those bits too, but most of that was too vague and of little visual detail for me to be able to put into words.
      • Overall the 2nd dream was very long.
      • I've started noticing a pattern/dream sign with these two dreams, which I think has only started occurring recently; the feeling of being twisted using the ticket machine, struggling to get into the back of the pick-up truck and the cylindrical sharp edges plastic "toilet" thing. In all of these, there was a heightened sensation of struggle and pain to reach for things or to move. This may be related to something that is going outside the dream world...





      Scoring thus far:
      + Previous score: 52.0

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 5.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream * 2: 2.0
      ++ Buy something: 1.0 (the ticket)
      ++ Ask for advice * 2: 2.0 (asking the ticket guy for help; asking for the bathroom)

      = Total score thus far: 57.0