• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cccxlvi. Friend's understanding, Detour from trip to the bank, Bug wars

      by , 01-10-2022 at 12:14 AM
      5th November 2021

      Dream:

      Later bit, disjointed. JC discovered he's suffering from macaquism (made-up dream thing?) after he was "enlightened", in his words, about my condition. Then, we get to start on drawing class, it's like at college/high school but different room and layout.

      Earlier. In a city, L? Cobbled and semi-narrow pavements. I'm going to the bank. There's been some disaster and the building across the way from the bank looks like it's partly exploded and I want to take photos. It's night time and I fiddle on with my camera and the poor lighting. People are gathered nearby and I sort of make my way through and past them, having apparently forgotten my goal. I go far enough to find firefighters and such who are now off duty.

      The sky/light is getting brighter? Not as dark now, early day. There's some kind of secondary blast and it makes me jump a little. At the end of the way there are some school kids fighting amongst themselves, blaming each other for something. I turn back after I get a small hit of flying vomit from the kids, although I did not have line of sight to what was actually going on. I go past the bank again now, noticing that it has been damaged too. At this point I remember about wanting to go to the bank but realise I can't so I carry on. I have thoughts about my family, maybe if they're wondering about what's taking me so long.

      At one point, there's some villain. I get into a situation where I'm now inside the bank building and I get herded around with other people, wrong place wrong time. I mostly find all of this to be annoying more than anything else. We're made to get off the building by something like a fire escape stair but it doesn't go down far enough. A young woman just jumps down and injures herself, knocked out. I understand that would be foolish to repeat and so instead I climb down more carefully by holding the railings and effectively dropping a much shorter distance, and safely.

      Then something about a hero being needed (some narration?), and sure enough a single one answers the call. It's a middle-aged man, not confident in his role as a hero. He doesn't trust that his devices will be enough. (Intrusion, partly related to my thoughts over the years about Batman) Equally, I am not very confident in this hero's ability myself. He seems willing to try, regardless.

      (Recall gap?)

      Some bit later on, sort of at the old home. Something in the balcony of my old room. There are weird bugs, leaf bugs, I think I tell dad. And other weird black skittering centipede things, but kind of fat. They are having a war of some kind between some spiders, big and small. I think to myself that the only answer to this will be mass destruction. I think of what chemical would both be at hand and also appropriate in terms of effectiveness.

      Notes:

      - I remember carrying my replica gladius around in the dream, for a large portion of it.

      - The last bit with the bugs fighting the arachnids at first glance seems to relate to thoughts that more developed species or cultures may have at any point about less developed ones, say if some highly advanced species visited us or vice versa. Like many other things though, I am noticing that this is a pattern (of thought in this case) that is abstract and can be applied in a multitude of different but similar contexts; in a sense relating to concepts of macrocosmos vs. microcosmos and how they mirror each other.

      - Although I didn't make note of it in my initial notes, I get the impression I was lucid for some of this dream, but I don't recall thinking of this as a lucid on waking. There were certain pre-lucid elements and it may have just been a case of higher awareness closer to the required threshold for lucidity.

      - I don't know what the supposed illness JC had might have been in terms of symptoms, as I didn't notice anything specifically. Thematically, it all seemed to be a bit about the ability for someone else to understand the difficulties of some illnesses based on having their own experiences with an illness.

      - Despite my low level of confidence in him and his own low level, the middle-aged hero persisted in his role. Heroism is not necessarily about bravery but sometimes maybe about the lack of freedom of choice? Plus, the role of a hero is not necessarily easy or by choice anyway? Many "heroes" the world have seen have been posthumously awarded the honour and in life were often not recognised. This dream as a whole had more themes about death (and life) than I realised or noticed at first: My friend's illness, implied to be lifelong; the exploded building with a subsequent explosion; the woman who jumped off trying to get away, knocking herself out; the hero who may face his doom, seemingly left with no choice; the bugs fighting their own wars, ignorant to a higher intelligence intent on destroying them all.
      -- I feel that in the last few months I've had a lot of dreams relating to death and the state of post-death, sometimes very much in a "what if" way, all of it seemingly relating to my questions to myself about legacy (framed as: "should I die today, then...?").
    2. cccxxiv. The spaceship in darkness

      by , 09-07-2021 at 11:04 AM
      2nd September 2021

      Dream:

      Aboard a spaceship. It's dark in most hallways and rooms and there's a general eerie feel, like how I used to feel about the dark as a child. Some parts of the ship look like the Nostromo in a Weyland-Yutani style. There's discussion with some characters and we're talking about Vulcan. I seem to have future knowledge that it will be destroyed by an explosion but I keep it to myself. A guy is talking about his brother having gone to Vulcan as a trader.

      I see out a central window in a dark room and there's a planet with a green atmosphere, framed perfectly by the round window.

      I go away from the rest of the group on my own, I think just through into some other nearby rooms. There's a WY wall-mounted bulky junction thing, over a doorway (resembling corridors in the Pods). This thing has a flashing red light, possibly beeping too. I notice that the flash seems to slowly be gaining speed. This unsettles me, telling me something is wrong. In the dream I can't seem to remember what the thing is for and when I ask nobody else seems to know or care, being preoccupied with their own conversations or thoughts. Nobody takes this seriously. I feel there may be an alien (xeno) aboard.

      (recall gap)

      Then, I'm in the mess hall, which is nearby to where I was before. There are two or three dozen people here, all eating from bowls and stuff, but there are no tables or chairs. There are a few kids too. An adjoined kitchen has workshop-like tools, like buzz saws, table saws and the like. All of this just makes me feel uneasy and I imagine or fear accidents relating to these tools. One kid in the mess hall has a cyborg hand with a circular saw attached. He's cutting beef jerky with it, or some other kind of stringy meat.

      I am or become one of the kids at some point, possibly early teens? Everyone eventually leaves except for myself and a couple of other kids. This unsettles me, like something terrible is going to happen, still because of that eerie feeling about the darkness. The other two kids, a tall slim boy and a short fat boy, start picking on me and won't let me leave. We get into a slow struggle but I eventually break free. I forget the rest of this part.

      (recall gap)

      Somewhere outdoors-like and sunny, but I just walked there in the ship, it's just some section of it. Some other characters, I'm accompanying them I think. Despite the changed environment the eerie feeling remains in some places that are indoors here. I forget most of this segment but at the end I'm talking to a male doctor, a psychologist. We're sitting at a bench in an outdoor cloister bit with benches. There are other people around, passing by or whatever. We discuss some problems of mine (which specific to this dream-life) but I forget what is said exactly.



      Notes:

      - For quite some time I have been wondering if or when I'd ever dream about one of the Alien films. Oddly enough, after waking from this dream, I didn't remember this, despite realising there were some similarities between the dream environment and the setting of the first film.

      - I haven't known or felt that fear of darkness in a number of long years, it's a fear that I think I must have worked a bit to overcome but that also kind of just went away on its own.
      -- It's notable that I can't remember ever having felt this eerie feeling in a dream before, but it's possible I just don't remember any specific instance anymore.

      - I couldn't notice any outer details of the ship from the windows.
      -- The planet I saw was probably based off space games I've recently been playing. But the (vivid, tending toward yellows) green atmosphere is probably symbolic, as it's a colour I associate with death, envy and other sinister feelings or effects. This seems pertinent with the rest of the setting and mood.

      - The unwillingness of other characters to cooperate or listen probably relates to how characters are often portrayed in the sort of film like Alien, where you always seem to have stubborn or ignorant characters that make everything worse.

      - On some level, the ship having the self-contained outdoor-but-indoors environment is probably related to a story I've been working on for a while now.

      - Despite the feelings in the dream, this wasn't really a bad dream, especially since I've been waiting for something like it to come up.
    3. cclxxv. Outdoor dreams, introspection

      by , 05-29-2021 at 10:51 AM
      28th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Outside, night time. There's someone else with me. We're on top of a short building, flat roof. There's a curving road that comes down on a hillside and then back up a bit further along. Relative to me, this is to a 90 degree quadrant in my front-right.



      29th May 2021


      Fragment:

      Long dream, there's a hill and a big manor or castle on top? Some interaction with other dream characters. Something about walking a path, something about nature. Get the feeling of dawn or morning.



      Notes:

      - I'm having trouble recalling dreams despite clearly remembering being in them. Dream recall just seems to have completely faded by the time I'm sort of aware of being awake. My first thoughts on waking are fairly random and not seemingly related to my dreams.

      - I also have little or no recall of my alarms going off earlier in the morning. I wonder if the issue here is the same as what has made me feel unable to see things in/with my imagination of late, a somewhat frustrating problem.

      - It occurs to me that H's alarm has been different for a while; I used to think it was particularly annoying before, perhaps it was raising my awareness because of being annoying.
    4. ccl. Fixing a community monument and hearing "Moonage" mentioned

      by , 04-14-2021 at 02:01 PM
      14th April 2021

      ~6:20? (DFLN) Dream:

      I'm in the USA somewhere, outside. There's a blue sky, it's daytime, around noon. I'm walking along some kind of path, maybe gravel. I remember hearing a radio nearby and a female announcer talking about the place I'm at.

      I see this local monument thing and notice that it's in disrepair. It's attached to a tall lamp post and initially I try to piece it back together on my own. Soon enough, two skinny white guys walk by and start helping me. This monument thing is all about black people, so in the dream I find some irony that these two guys are about as white as can be.

      Seemingly I must have won the lottery or something because I remember I have this UV curing thing like dentists use and I make use of it to sort of make a very strong glue/bond to join some bits that keep falling apart. The guys help me hold it all in place as I do this, I think. I tell them I had some spare money this month and that this was something I always wanted to try, but I feel I'm lying to make myself seem more casual. Everything gradually transforms as we repair the monument.

      I don't realise that the scene is changing and soon we are in a well lit but incredibly small and cramped room doing all this and now there are more people from the local community in here with us. There's a happy atmosphere of sorts as they seem pleased about what we're doing and they talk and interact with me and between each other.

      Then, someone, I think a kid or relatively young person says: "Oh, oh! We should REALLY have a picture of Moonage there, for all she did!" As I hear this, I become instantly distracted. I hear a woman replying to this suggestion.

      I try to look around the cramped and crowded room, it's a bit like an understairs cupboard or something. There's a big black guy who was just behind me, with a big friendly smile. But because he's so big I feel sad that I can't seem to see or find MoonageDaydream for him and the rest of the crowd being in the way. I think to myself that I really want to meet her and I end up figuring that actually, I don't want to introduce myself unannounced and by surprise like this in person. I think to myself that I should PM her first on DV and try to find some way of meeting up soon.

      Feeling a little disappointed but expectant, I seemingly wake up.



      Notes:

      - As mentioned in DFLN, I wanted to do a WBTB after this dream, and when I got back in bed I set an intent and held on to it to go back to the dream and try and meet up with MoonageDaydream, hoping that she would know where the Lucid Dreaming party would be, in which case, she could take me there.
      -- Unfortunately, I had trouble falling back asleep, and when I did, I had seemingly let go of the intent too much or something.
      -- I had several other morning dreams after this but didn't make note of them, because of time things and just generally feeling tired.

      - Despite the extremely obvious cue about physically meeting another DV member, I did not have any pre-lucid thoughts to question reality. Even so, I felt really satisfied with having this dream because it felt like intention-setting worked well, better than expected.
      -- I think it's also the first time I've had a dream relating to an actual DV member. I wasn't expecting anyone so specifically as a mention of their username in the dream.

      - There's a few dream elements, like the dentist UV thing, the monument to black people and some other things that have come by association with recent stuff from waking life.

      - In the dream, there was no element of pandemic-related life and no associated feelings.

      - Lately I have been craving to go to a beach on a sunny day to just spend time there, but unfortunately there's no such place near me. This place I was at felt like it was close to the sea, I have a vague recall of the path being along a cliff.
    5. ccxlv. Dark subterranean place, Deceptive Enterprise

      by , 03-31-2021 at 09:55 AM
      31st March 2021

      Fragment:

      I am somewhere underground, dark. It's like BL but not quite. Someone has discovered a hack or made a mod that lets you directly access certain game stats. I become a lycan creature and find that I can easily mine through the rock in one hit with my claws.

      I look for and find gold ore which is also mined easily. I sometimes stumble into large and more open cavern systems. There seem to be bottomless pits in places and in the distance there is light sometimes, lava or something I think I assume.

      There's some recall of interacting with other people or characters and a big sequence about conversion (into an energy form) in some cathedral-like place that reminds me of a map I made a couple of years ago, but recall is mostly gone.

      (recall gap)

      Something about Picard getting into a confrontation with some aliens where the Enterprise is disguised as a vessel like what these aliens have. They don't trust him and they realise the deception. The captain makes some kind of plea in order to try and avoid them from going further towards human space but the aliens seem unwilling to compromise.

      Then something about the Enterprise and its crew needing to be offloaded somewhere while the ship is repaired. The captain is on Earth trying to find a suitable temporary location for a camp?

      Notes:
      - This fragment was from waking up in the middle of the night. I couldn't get back to sleep very easily, I think I was too hot. I did not recall any morning dreams.
      - When I woke up, I remember I was thinking about M/M stuff and a server I joined recently, but I'm not sure why. There was no link with the dreaming, that I can tell.
    6. ccxxii.

      by , 02-06-2021 at 06:10 PM
      6th February 2021

      Dream:

      Outside, daytime. In a town that's a mix of several towns from my native country, though I can't think exactly which ones. They're probably ones I've passed through over the years. There's a large open area in front of some apartment buildings.

      There's something going on in town about an environmentalist group or some kind of rally. They get told to clear off eventually, despite the fact that they'd actually been given permission to use a large area of the square. They were not being dispersed, it was more like a concert was supposed to take place next and they were getting in the way?

      I'm with someone, a man, an associate of some kind.

      The dream cuts to a restaurant place. The man is with me and we're meeting up with a woman who's our friend. We sit at a table by a wall, or a corner. It feels tight everywhere in the restaurant and there isn't much personal room, even when we're sat at the table. It's one of those tables that has a round sofa thing.

      We discuss what had been going on at the square/plaza area.

      The dream implies we ate and cuts to us being in the restaurant kitchen, cleaning dishes because we had no money to pay with. This bit has cold light, but feels kind of dark too.

      When we're done cleaning the dishes, we don't put them away and just leave them to dry. We go through a service corridor of sorts and at the end is a door to the outside. This stretch of corridor resembles a stretched out version of the hall of where I live now. I open the door?

      Mom and dad appear. It's night time outside, they're here to pick us up. Dream cuts to an urbanised area, like A, but flatter.

      Some recall is missing; there's some kind of transition or implied setting. There's a Mech Commander context now and I am commanding the red faction. I have a mission to defend a base I'm in. My units start to be overwhelmed and I don't do too well in managing everything, but eventually I notice I actually have unlimited amounts of certain mechs, warriors and equipment units. I try to use this to my advantage but feel it may be too late?

      Something about sending an airship of sorts to drop a large bomb, but not on the enemy?
    7. xci.

      by , 02-28-2020 at 11:50 AM
      Went back to a half sleep after waking in the morning. Had a small moment of lucidity, the first one for quite some time. Made note of as much as I could before I had to get up to help with something.


      Dream Fragment:

      The only dream I can vaguely remember before my first awakening. Something about a character that walks around some snowy place, finds something and goes back to the past in a pretty stereotypical UFO. Lands at the same place and stumbles on the snow and becomes sort of blue? I expect him to meet himself again but he doesn't, instead meeting an old man. They talk.

      They have a discussion about time travel and the past. The man is skeptical but then the other character says something that convinces him and the man states "it's 1976" and the other one says "I came from 2070" or a similar year. He tells the man about how in the future the knowledge of the past, after a certain point, is just unknown. He tries to convince the old man of this by stating facts about history, going back, up to the point where he simply didn't know anything else.


      Dream:


      As I fell back asleep slowly, the dream seemed to progress quickly. I was half aware of my real body at a few points and the clarity of the visuals varied quite a bit. I was with H somewhere.

      There was this guy and his dad, they weren't very happy with each other. The son was dating a teacher, a woman, at his school. Then she found out that his dad was married and that mattered for some reason.

      I remember walking outside, near these people. They sort of became part of the background of what was going on and I notice the area is by a large river, or sea. There are quays and the area looks like a port or dock. It's sunny and there are a few large white clouds in the distance.

      Me and H, we walk towards a building closer to the dock area. I don't remember walking in, but we're inside. It's a large room, much darker than being outside but there are bits of sunlight here and there, but I don't notice where they come through. There are quite a few people here, this feels like a lobby, or waiting room, for departures?

      On the right-hand wall, there's a massive hole and strange rocky formation. I approach it and notice how smooth it is. I look inside, it looks perfectly smooth and the rock is a yellowed off-white but there are tinges of green here and there. There are smaller but perfectly smooth and rounded holes on the rock. It reminds me of pumice and it made me think that lava made this hole. I visualise that happening? Not sure.

      I walk outside, as there is a door or passageway next to the hole. This wall of the building was actually some sort of dark tinted glass, and I could already see from inside that this side was some sort of canyon.

      There are paths along either side, but there are no connections between these paths except for the lobby place. The rock is all the same as the one from the "volcanic hole". I remember looking at the cliff tops higher than us and noticing the sky looks green-ish. But as I walk here, I realise, wait, how was that hole there? It just wasn't right. I half realise I'm dreaming and at this point I feel my real body more, but in the dream I check my hands. Although they appear normal, there seems to be little detail and I realise I'm dreaming.

      The realisation is quickly overpowered by a bunch of random actions, my level of lucidity actually being very low. As if it were a game, I start placing a prop over and over again, along the canyon path I'm on. The prop is a study desk with drawers, with a chair too. H then tells me we don't need them for some reason. My dream awareness starts to go again at this point. I start smashing the chairs against the edge of the cliff and throwing the stuff down the ravine. It all hits the ground too quickly for how deep this place looks and I complain out loud to H "this is a dream, that's a deep canyon, the chairs shouldn't be dropping a metre and then smashing, that's too quick!", half with the expectation that something would change about it, but nothing did. We keep smashing and throwing the furniture for a while, after which I've lost any amount of awareness I had left and we return to the dream plot.


      At the end of the path is a similar building. We go in, and it's dark. Again it also had an entrance on the other side of the canyon where the second path was. Inside it looks like someone's private office. Well decorated and tidy, the walls had a mix of plasterwork and floral motif patterned wallpaper.

      The wall at the other end of the room, behind a desk and so on, seemed solid, but as we approached, it smashed or crumbled. On the other side is a lobby full of people, at a lower height, but not much. I talk to H, but don't remember what we said exactly, except that I expressed some concerns about dealing with these people. They were university students. There were a bunch of signs and notices in the room, mostly about events?

      I decide that we can proceed and I step over the rubble and walk down a small ramp made by the rubble. A girl, not much younger than me, sees me and when I comment something to H she says "well we don't want you here anyway, you look like a scary punk!". I feel complimented and somehow her comment made me feel more confident. I approach her and put my hands on her shoulders and smile, in a half attempt to scare her a bit more and in a half attempt to thank her.

      I then walk away towards a corridor that took a right turn on the opposite side of the room, but I don't remember any more details.



      No notes for now, quite tired.