• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cccv. Fighting our way down, Being asked to fix a reactor

      by , 07-21-2021 at 10:57 AM
      20th July 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm with H I think and someone else, a woman, maybe a lead character from something. At first we're "silently" killing Combine soldiers with desert eagles as we descend through a compound via some long and wide stairs, not unlike those in HFC instances although the setting looked sort of Half-Life-ish I suppose. (I say "silently" because the guns are actually stupidly loud but if we kill the soldiers with one shot or two very quickly, nobody else is alerted even if they are standing next to them)

      I'm constantly low on ammo as I can see on a Half-Life 1-like GUI. I feel the other two are picking up all the ammo and leaving none for me, probably not on purpose. Near the end of this segment, we screw up a silent kill because of the distance and gun inaccuracy, all of the enemies have now become alert and we have a kind of stand-off at a landing on the stairs, we have the higher position. We use smoke grenades to force them to come a bit closer to reduce ammo waste, especially since I'm so low on ammo. I recall I have an UZI that I swap to but see that it only has two bullets left and become annoyed, since my DE is about to run out too.

      Then for some reason, lots of food stuff is out next to us in the middle of all of this, tinned food mostly.

      Fragment:

      Near the end of this fragment. Something about a facility with a reactor in it, which has been running on edge. Earlier in this dream I was at this location but many years in the past, and this present is a time of post-destruction. Someone wants me to have a look at the reactor.

      (The area of this fragment reminds me of a deathmatch map from HL1 that I must have spent a considerable amount of time playing in with my siblings.)
    2. ccxix.

      by , 01-29-2021 at 12:40 PM
      Recall could have been better yesterday and today I was unable to retain it anyway, mostly due to how nights/mornings have been going I think.

      28th January 2021


      Fragment:

      At home, following a diagonal run of cabling in the wall around the stairs or the first landing. I notice wet patches in parts of the cable runs, as if there's water leaking into those areas or a pipe is also running there and is burst.
      Tags: cable, damp, home, stairs, wall, wet
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    3. clxxiv.

      by , 10-03-2020 at 01:50 AM
      2nd October 2020

      Scraps:

      (Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

      Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

      Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?
    4. clvii. TF2 and Uniforms shop

      by , 09-12-2020 at 01:21 AM
      More catching up.

      29th August 2020

      ~9:00


      Dream:

      Playing TF2 as Demo, don't remember for which team. Had the pipe bomb launcher, an RPG-7 too, but looked like the HL1 launcher...

      Later on in the dream, after a very slim win of the match, by kills score alone (would have been a draw otherwise), I am walking around with old classmates. Unusually, I feel tired in the dream. Then I think about covid, and how we aren't wearing any masks or anything. I remember a concrete building I'm in? Lots of staircases maybe. But well lit, overall, high ceilings too.

      The place outside looks like L. I walked out of some lobby place? I start to feel uncomfortable being so close to everyone else (because of covid), but nobody else seems to care.

      As we're going down some cobbled steps, I notice a uniforms shop. The stairs are very wide and go down quite a distance, but this seems typical of L. The logo reminds me of UPS, same colour scheme but not shape? I think to myself "I can buy a labcoat there, later", having some follow-up feelings about not wanting to have classmates around me for that. But unfortunately, despite my very clear dream sign thought, I didn't remember to do a RC, I think because I didn't see a visual cue of the DS advertised or on display at the shop.

      (relating to the feelings) I remember thinking that I didn't want to go in now since my classmates were around and I'd feel embarrassed. But I also think about how the shop looks closed anyway. Cloudy day? But not overcast?

      Then further down along the stairs or whatever, on the left, there's a pair of black and bearded/old vagabonds, one having a cane or long stick. I think I woke up after this while still going down the cobble steps of the stairway. I remember a (typical) long green railing in the middle, but I think this colour isn't used anymore actually.

      At the bottom of all the steps was a road cornering from the left to straight ahead, in terms relative to my own position. Squareish building on the bend across the road? Maybe quay or dock area further along. Visual recall is too poor after over a week since the dream now.

      ~9:12?

      Trying to fall asleep again as WBTB. Slideshow of 80s style VANS shoes advert? No visual recall of this anymore.

      ~10:40

      Fragment:

      Return to the first dream theme, was with old classmates again. Sausage rolls and other such typical pastries. No visual recall that I can gather.



      Notes:
      - Although I didn't realise it, I suppose there's a semi-direct link between uniforms and TF2. I thought it was curious that TF2 showed up in dreaming, since I haven't played it for years, though I have had passing thoughts of it recently.
      - Covid didn't start featuring in my dreams at all until recently, but I'm not entirely sure why yet.
      - The thoughts about my artificial DS would have been enough to prompt a RC in waking life.
      - The appearance of one of the vagabonds (to my recall) makes me think of some vagabond in the Matrix? Or some other stereotype appearance.
      - Old classmates have been reappearing a fair bit lately, it had become an uncommon DS for a while but seems to be getting common again. Need to re-think about significance for waking life purposes.
    5. cxxiv.

      by , 07-30-2020 at 08:45 PM
      24th May

      Dream:

      Was in some kind of gallery or museum. The room was large and square. It had a lower tier/level kind of, also square and I walked down to it with some stairs. H was there I think and I was supposed to connect some displays of paintings with power, but I only had a single extension lead.

      (Some section I don't remember.)

      Then, as I was talking to someone a delegation appeared or something and a few others including H got close to the group. There was a mayor of some kind and the museum's curator. My dad was also part of this delegation. He had a dark brown suit and seemed taller and younger. Then he started moving ahead of the group into some hall and the group followed him.

      I didn't really want to join this event but H said something to me from behind and said I should go because of dad, giving me a push and then I just continued with the momentum. Then in some other room, dad and this other guy start climbing some nonsensical spiral staircase. It was made with beautifully stained wood and a carved/turned centre pillar, but for some reason only had a bannister/railing on the inner side of the steps. It went very high up, four or five stories.

      I was feeling my fear of heights so I didn't look down or backwards and wondered how the hell I was going to get back down.

      Because of the missing bannister bit, we were all climbing the staircase by pulling ourselves up on the centre pillar or something. I remembering seeing dad reach the top and jumping to a flat area just under ceiling level and over a wall.

      The whole place looked highly decorated and detailed in a neo-classic style, mostly comprising wood or painted wood. Eventually I got to the top too and I wasn't sure about the jump but the point of view changed from my eye sight to an overview of the area and then I jumped.

      Then the rest of the dream was in this sort of top down view. I walked around this secluded area and eventually found some portal or something? And then I became like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.

      I have no more recall of the dream.



      Notes:
      - Not too long after this dream I started work on a virtual gallery project in which I pretty much wanted to embody this general neo-classic styling and museum feel. Some of this idea of powered displays must have bled through into my subconscious because I did indeed later on create something similar for my project.
      - The suit my dad was wearing was in the style of a suit I remember him actually wearing when he was more given to wearing suits anyway because of work.
      - In retrospect, H's presence in this dream was a bit "guide-like" I suppose, as H's role was fairly limited in the dream but somewhat essential for the action to unfold as it did.
    6. cxxi.

      by , 07-21-2020 at 01:28 PM
      11th May

      Dream:Earliest dream. I was in some place in the countryside, the dream was very vivid. I had my boots on, some pants, some t-shirt and my leather jacket. H was walking with me, I remember feeling the gravel beneath my feet.

      In the dream I was recognising the place. I'd been here before in some other dream. This prompted me to tell H about it and he sort of dismissed it and even though I tried doing some reality checks with my hands, I didn't become aware of the dream state.

      In my dream mind, this place wasn't exactly like how I remembered it from the other dream anyway. There was a gravel road and some buildings and some gravel plots along it, but the original place I was remembering had a normal road and it carried on, it didn't end abruptly like this gravel road. It reminded me of the southern areas of my country. There were pine trees and short grass that looked a bit dry. The dirt was fine and dusty and caramel coloured. The sky was a little bit cloudy but mostly clear and it seemed like the sun was setting. I remember looking all around me to try and identify anything from the original dream, but I felt there was nothing. The surroundings looked vast and vague at the same time.

      After walking along the road with H for a while, we eventually came to a very large gravel lot, like a parking lot, clearly meant for that use. I remember H telling me to wait here. He had to get some book, or something, from town? I said I'd wait. I didn't know what I'd do in the meantime and I had the feeling that it would be a long time. Then my awareness transitioned to some other place.

      A dream city. H wasn't here and though I have forgotten the dream plot exactly, there was something about a family that had to get to where I just was (the gravel/pine tree area). I was here to speed things along somehow? Something about a gang going after this family.

      Then details are missing; I remember getting into a car, a silver convertible and also trying to fix down a panel on the boot or something. Then the mom of this family, who was driving, started the car before I'd even sat down and put a seatbelt on. She raced through the streets and I had little balance, tipping backwards and holding the open and swaying door with my right hand. I was partially sat on her son's legs, eventually he managed to help me in, but it took a while.

      Some other part of the same dream. The chronology of the sequences is muddled. I went into a tall building and I remember carrying my black backpack and climbing lots of stairs. I didn't feel tired at all and my legs didn't hurt. Along the way, some young adult (early 20s) tugged on my backpack to have an easier time climbing. I resent that he'd done that but I said nothing and only gave him a look that made it clear to him not to do it again.

      The staircase was very much like the one from my university. Very narrow, but no lift at each landing. Eventually I got to a pretty high floor, and it looked like my virtual gallery in some sense. There was a high open space that my fear of heights creep in a little, because there were no railings at all. I remember wondering what H would think of that.

      Just behind the stairwell I'd come from, was a platform/floor and I climbed over its ledge without too much effort. It led down a dark unlit and narrow corridor. At the end of it was another stairwell, to my left. It went both up and down. There was a door directly in front of me. A white service door to my right after a short and narrow yard-long hall. Light came through the edges of this white service door and the stairs going up also allowed some natural light in from above, but not much, as it was still very dark in here.

      On the stairs, a bunch of young adults (early 20s again) were sat on the steps. They looked at me, but more like through me. I looked back for a moment, but then ignored them. I tried opening the door in front of me but it was well shut and locked. I went back through the narrow corridor I'd come from and then skipped over the gap with the stairs and took a left turn. My mind blocked out the open space with no railings.

      There were corridors and rooms this way. Many contrasts of dark and narrow halls with natural light from some windows. The floor was carpeted, not sure what colour, but I remember a cleaning lady. It just looked like a hotel in many regards but the rooms belonged to specific people who worked here or something, like an office area in a university. I can't recall the rest of the dream.



      Notes:
      - In many ways, the last part of the dream was just some mish-mash of my first university's building and my general concepts of offices and temporary living spaces. The presence of the people in their early 20s ties in with the "university" feel.
      - It can feel a bit annoying to ask H about the reality and have him only make me dismiss what I'm thinking about, though since then I have tried to imagine the situation occurring differently.
      - My leather jacket seems to have been a recurring feature for some recent dreams but I haven't found any particular reason why just yet, since I have not worn it in a long time. The only thing that comes to mind is that feels like a bit of a shame that I just let it sit unused for quite a long time, but on the other hand it is usually too hot for me to wear it.
      - Dreams where physical activity occurs are always refreshing for me in some mental sense. Being able to do intense physical activity such as climbing many flights of stairs can feel rewarding and the amount of inordinate pain I would get from doing it in real-life makes it feel like a waste of my energy and time. In dreams my low thresholds of pain don't really materialise and it is often the only time I get a break from feeling pain and discomfort throughout a day.
    7. xxxii.

      by , 09-03-2018 at 10:27 AM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up with the earlier alarms, around 8:30 and then let the alarm repeat itself every so often, but ended up snoozing a bit and got up at 9:50. Remember the last part of a non-lucid.



      Dream fragment:
      It's difficult to remember what came before, because I went through a door, I think the front door of a very small terraced house. Inside it was dark but there was daylight from a window.

      Immediately inside there were stairs that went either up or down, and I decide to go down, where it was darker and there were no windows. The stairwell was cramped and it felt like an old building for that reason alone. Eventually at the bottom there was a room with a light. This was a shop, even if a very small one, as this room was no bigger than a pantry and it is implied by dream context to be a basement; a man was at the counter and there was someone else browsing. There were metal shelves and wooden crates with things in them.

      There were all sorts of things, I remember thinking it was a drug store at first. I saw some melatonin and other drugs I didn't recognise. I did not remember to question the dream's reality or context. As I looked around the room became bigger and the layout changed; there were a window or two now and toward one corner there were weapons; I remember moving them carefully to the side since I wanted to get past, further into the corner. I remarked on each weapon as I moved them; "this looks like a pillum... this a javelin...".

      When they were out of the way I got into the corner and there was a big cabinet that didn't interest me, and there was a narrow piece of wood furniture that almost looked like a column but was some sort of display cabinet. The other cabinet I wasn't interested in, the other man in the shop was interested in it. I think I either somehow passed it to him or he came to get it, as it was now next to the counter, and inside the cabinet were vinyls.

      Not just any vinyls however, the boxes' covers were decorated in a 20s or 40s style and they were all children's stories. Then I noticed there was a vinyl player from the 70s or 80s next to the cabinet now and the man was trying them out; I could see the vinyl under the perspex lid. Somehow, the vinyls produced images. I remember seeing animated cartoons of whatever the stories were. I liked the vinyl boxes because they were very colourful; with red or blue trims.



      Notes:
      • I've never had a sleep related supplement or the like simply appear in a dream like the melatonin did, so it feels a bit silly that I didn't notice it, especially given that currently, for me to get melatonin I have to ask my parents for it.
      • The weapons didn't look old; in fact the tips were in pristine condition and the wooden handles were nicely oiled.
      • The cabinet that didn't interest me looked old and dilapidated; it was one of the many lifeless-looking objects in the room that seemed to have little colour to them.
      • I'm starting to realise there may be a pattern to my interaction with stairs when they appear in dreams. Often I choose to go down, and when I choose to go down, it does tend to get darker and it tends to feel like it takes a long time. Stairs going down generally seem longer than stairs going up in my dreams.
    8. v.

      by , 07-21-2018 at 09:47 AM
      Non-dream stuff; I was only aware of waking up at about 9, but I know I was awake before that. The dream I had in my memory as I woke up, I quickly forgot, by feeling the need to sit up and crack my neck and back, yet I somehow still remembered some earlier, non-lucid, dream fragments:



      Dream fragments:
      I remember being in a room, like at my parent's house, or my childhood home, but I can't say I remember the room in detail; it was one of the rooms at the back of the house and it was dark (but I didn't have the impression it was night). I was aware of a cat, black and white I think and there was a catfish or something... I distinctly remember the cat playing with the catfish and the catfish meowing; at first I was concerned for the fish somehow, and I remember turning my attention to something else and when I looked back again the catfish was gone, the implication being that the cat ate it. Suddenly it felt like the cat was aggressive and I remember trying to claw me; I think my instinctive responce was to smack it.

      In another fragment, I simply remember my two siblings being present. Possibly in a corridor leading to some stairs or with stairs intersecting it.

      Another fragment, I remember being aware of being back in my native country, with some sort of dream-generated friends or acquaintances in the dream and going up some dream-generated stairs, practically crawling up them, because in this dream my fear of heights seemed much greater. The stairs now remind me of something that Gaudi might have made, twisty, curly, yellow. I remember saying "I hate this country's stairs", in reference to the fact that my own native country has plenty of hilly cities and towns, with plenty of stairs.

      I kept climbing the stairs and eventually reached a tier where there were floating platforms. Some sort of children were here, as if they played here everyday and one said to me "if you want to get to the other side, I'm afraid jumping is the only way". I looked around for another option, hanging close to the floor due to my fear, and indeed there was no choice.

      The fall was a big one, I knew this. Someone from behind me, one of the dream friends said something like "we're 50 stories high, don't look down!" and I think I told them to shut up, that I knew, and I strongly resisted the urge to look down and simply hopped to the first small stone platform that was floating above this gap. The floating stone platforms were different shapes, some hexagons, some circles. I hopped to the next one, closest to a doorway on the opposite side of where I first arrived at this tier. I don't remember going through.



      In another fragment, perhaps related to the last, I remember something in space, with asteroids and a space base, but not much else, unfortunately. This was one of the dreams I forgot by sitting up.



      Notes:
      • Last night, when I went outside to our yard I saw one of our neighbour's cats sitting on the wall, and it is black and white and has a bell; it scurries off when it sees us, even though the cat is the one choosing to come into our yard.
      • In the platform jumping area, the abyss or gap or whatever was actually quite small, as I realised by hopping to each platform; the platforms felt decidedly steady despite their floating nature. The initial apprehensive nature of my fear likely made the gaps seem much wider at first, especially considering a fall implied death, and therefore, great pain in the last seconds.
      • It is of note that I hate many platforming games, as usually the combat mechanics annoy me to great deal, such as Super Mario.
      • Although my fear of heights varies greatly in waking life, it usually comes before I'm at the location, because of the anticipation of the situation; whereas in the dream the onset was only sudden once I was on the stairs.
      • I'm fairly certain these fragments were actually linked by some transition, but I cannot remember it.
      • As the stairs went up, there were buildings to either side, but on the right there was a gap between the stairs and the buildings, whereas on the left side they were adjoined. There were no doors at all at any point. In my native country the stairs would be less steep (possibly made steeper by fear) and there would be tiers and doors every so often.
      • The fact that I and my siblings were present all in one room, these days, is not statistically likely. This should have made me question reality.
      • The fact the catfish meowed should have made me RC, because I realised that it was odd, that catfish don't meow.


      Edit: added a very rough 3D scene I quickly made (10-15mins) of the stairs dream scene.

      Updated 07-22-2018 at 01:27 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes