• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccclxxv. Space war, Stuffing cars in the van

      by , 03-30-2022 at 02:01 AM
      I'd like to make some notes on this but it's getting a bit late and long day tomorrow.

      22nd March 2022

      Fragment:

      Huge space battle. It feels like Freelancer but looks like EVE or just realistic. There's a Star Wars feel to the battle, overall. There are hundreds of different ship designs, both friendly and enemy, but it's mostly the friendlies that are very varied? Although it's in space, there's a large complex that dwarfs any ship and it has sloping structures with hard cornered/bevelled edges.

      Seems to be a case of holding position. Ships from our "side" keep going off in small waves and most of the time are just shot right as they exit the boundaries of the complex. But some of them are able to launch large numbers of crew assault modules toward enemy ships.

      Fragment:


      Something about dad and maybe a wooden ladder, that he carries or gives me? Think maybe dad is ill in some way? The location is dream generated. Maybe a flat of some kind, diffuse and warm daylight coming from a skylight above, giving the inside of the apartment a bright but very diffuse light mood.

      26th March 2022

      Fragment:

      At a place like old home, outside the little supermarket bit on that main street right outside the cul-de-sac. Except that the location is much higher up than it should be, like a plateau or mountain-top. Fairly clear weather, very thin clouds, consistent with an overall sunset context. Me and H are loading the van with other cars. Somehow, we can handle them by hand easily-ish and we put a VW estate of some kind in the back and maybe some other car. I comment on how we could almost fit three cars in the back of the van.

      Something about dad and his car maybe? Old water bottle to dispose of. In the dream, I have a memory of it being like ones we used to take on road trips.

      Then, something else with H and the van. Attaching some kind of trailer thing, a wooden cabinet kind of thing (Leslie cabinet type?). For some reason, H gets naked and gets inside it. We're indoors and somehow he's driving it away now. I help by holding the trailer up and such as we go down some stairs.
    2. cccxxxvii. Glaring sunset at the desk, WoW self-mailing, With an away team

      by , 10-31-2021 at 02:27 AM
      1st October 2021

      Fragment:

      I am in T's room. We're sitting together at his desk, which is facing the window. The curtains are open and it's a sunset outside. The sun keeps glaring in my face and I struggle with the brightness. At the same time, I can't get comfortable at the desk. I have a square monitor and my arms and wrists hurt with the way they rest on the desk, partly because my chair is too short. T says to do something about it then, and I get some pillows to stack on the seat.

      In the middle of all this struggling, I end up at first missing the fact that the sunset is now over and the light is on now, but the curtains are still open.

      (recall gap, the following are scraps from the same dream)

      In WoW, I am mailing an item to myself. Some kind of developer marriage is interrupted by fans.

      I am then in a Star Trek universe and am with an away team. End up in a room back on the ship where I try to use a replicator but I end up pooping myself in the room's bathroom or something.



      Notes:


      - The Star Trek locale was very reminiscent to the sets and layouts of Voyager, which I've recently been watching.
      -- In that part of the dream, I remember feeling confused at several points and many things were going against me, in terms of events playing out. I think I may have been confined to some quarters. The replicator I tried using didn't function properly, at least for anything I wanted, but I can't recall what that mighthave been anymore.

      - In the WoW segment, I was mailing an item to the same character I was playing and not an alt, something that's never been possible.
      -- I have a faint recollection of the locale being some altered version of Stormwind.

      - During the initial segment of the dream, I am struggling with issues that typically T would be more likely to struggle with, at least in regards to his room and layout. I would not have so much of an issue with the sun and would probably be appreciating it, in waking life. In a way, this dream moment is a window into my perception of his experience, on some level.

      - The experience of struggling against the glaring sunset reminds me now very strikingly of the time I was walking back home with mom, at a time of a sunset but during which I hit my head on something metal and started bleeding, all of which was caused by struggling against a glaring sunset directly ahead.
    3. cccxxxi. Raiding Nomad battleships, Several family encounters

      by , 10-05-2021 at 12:24 AM
      12th September 2021

      Fragment:

      (earliest dream) Mix of Avorion and Freelancer I think. I go to secret systems, where I attack and destroy (wandering?) Nomad battleships. In one system, there's a super battleship in a dry dock. No enemies at first but doesn't take long until they appear.

      Fragment:

      Stuff about mom and dad and family in general. At one point I'm in a version of the old home, an altered version of my bedroom. I have stuff all over a table or bed. Notebooks, papers, etc. Many of which have drawings of mine. I'm looking for something but it's not drawings. Then at one point mom comes in and starts to look too. Now I'm concerned she'll see some of the drawings. I sometimes take things off her so she can't look.

      (gap)

      Then mom and L are in the kitchen (upstairs). There's a context of breakfast but it's still pitch black outside. I feel really drowsy and disoriented and I feel like I may be naked but nobody comments on it, if I am. I stumble a bit, I think towards the pillar corners in the kitchen, where I feel the fridge is, despite having seen it near the entrance on the left, next to L.

      (gap)

      A relatively long segment where I'm with aunt B and we go around in her car and it has issues at one point. She knows some scruffy mechanics that are actually pretty good as it turns out. The job costs 100 and is done in fifteen minutes. During that time we went to a cafe nearby. Southern P feel and sunset?

      (gap)

      Talking to mom and dad about the previous bit. Then mom asks me if I've been getting the money dad sends me and I'm trying to say thank you, but they don't hear and interrupt me every time too. Then they comment on how I should say thank you and I say (frustrated) I would if I got a chance to speak. Then, we talk about T but I actually want to talk to H but can't remember his name for some reason (language gearing). But so then T appears anyway and he seems ok but mom and dad quickly have a go at him over something minor and he understandably gets upset. Then he goes off in a direction towards a campus or something and we walk off up a slight hilly bit, towards a town or something. (general feel of a mix of home town and L)

      Rest of recall gone but dream carried on for a bit.
    4. cclxxxv. Visiting MoonageDaydream for a donation

      by , 06-18-2021 at 08:35 AM
      17th June 2021

      Mostly going from end to start.

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm in a city, I'm walking outside with MoonageDaydream, HumbleDreamer and another woman that I don't recognise or recall anymore.

      The dream ends when we are walking down a hill on a paved bit. It's cobbles and it mostly follows the hill but becomes stairs at some points where there's too much incline. Just before, I'm thinking out loud about how it reminds me of my native country, thinking that it looks to have more buildings however. I am beside the unknown woman, possibly slightly from behind and touching her shoulders, "It's funny, I don't remember getting here" and then I look at my right hand and begin counting the fingers from the back. The count seems normal at a glance but I feel self-conscious trying this RC in public. I think about M/M themes in this city but nothing manifests or changes.

      It's about near sunset and there's a sea visible from this hill. I start thinking about an airport and the name of the town, feeling dumb for not remembering and then I wake up.

      Just before this part, the four of us were crossing a road. It's a busy place and there are loads of people (or so it feels). We're somewhere in the USA supposedly and people are generally amused by my presence, seeming to think I'm British despite having no such accent. We have just come out of a store and as we cross this road with crossing island, I think about how there's Covid but nobody is wearing any face coverings. I also think to myself about how I've had my first jab, on my right art. (In reality I haven't yet)

      HumbleDreamer seems moody or perhaps overly serious for most of the walking around, but he doesn't really act that way. I am afraid that I have done something to upset him. At one point he says he got here from France and there's a segment where he's making a video for YouTube in a mostly white room, I forget what about.

      Back to the store, it's like an airport shop come to think of it. It's very generic and enclosed, at the end of a corridor. People interact with me and the group and this is the main reason I end up thinking about Covid. The person behind the till, a white middle-aged American woman, with short hair, kisses my hand or something and another woman offers a bite of a pizza slice to the group but we decline politely. Just before we get to the till, I'm talking to the unknown woman about snacks and such and how they're much cheaper here, because we saw a vending machine in the corridor leading to the shop. It's dark in the corridor except for some strong hue lights, reds and greens mostly. The drinks are like little cartons of apple juice and so on and cost about thirty cents, making me think I could buy about three or four versus the cost that I'm used to. The snacks are mostly potato stuff.

      We talk about how there's not a lot of importing around here, for some reason.

      Before the corridor and some dark halls, we are in a church yard of some kind. It's all mostly paved, gritty or gravel. There's a dry fountain in the middle, made of stone? It's MoonageDaydream's school workplace apparently. We came all the way here from wherever we came from to give her a donation, but I'd forgotten my hundred and twenty five dollars that I was to give her. I fear the group is disappointed with me but suspect MoonageDaydream is fine with it. I decide to give it to her as soon as I can.

      The church/school building itself is very grey and looks a bit like Gaudi's style, very bulbous and round shapes and some mini spires. I remark on this and comment on how it must be Spanish in origin, therefore. The outside of the building has a render made up with large smooth stones that can fit in a hand's palm. I talk about the building style with the group but I don't recall their comments.

      There was more recall but I felt too tired writing my initial notes.



      Notes:

      - When I woke up, I thought about how some of my conclusions during the dream were a bit hasty and I thought about how I could have become lucid at the end.
      -- In a way, it's unusual that I thought about how I got there, I just found myself trying to think of the trip there and the airport and finding I couldn't remember, partly attributing it to tiredness from the trip.

      - Unlike the other dream where I'd only heard MoonageDaydream, in this dream I could see her and HumbleDreamer clearly. Their details as characters seemed accurate to how I remember their profile pictures here.
    5. ccxxxv.

      by , 03-08-2021 at 12:22 AM
      4th March 2021

      Scraps:

      T needed a bug killer or repellent? Asks me for guidance on soldering and installing a micro noise generator PCB.

      Something Dark Souls-esque. I remember interact with a user interface menu, mostly having a look?

      6th March 2021

      Dream:

      After some sequence about trucks and driving and a very vast area in some kind of half-real/half-game world, exploring a map or level? Me and H are arriving at the building door for my old apartment building. There's a man in the lobby and I don't feel like going in? A car drives past, going up on the curb. It sounds like dad's car and is the same colour so I tell H to look. But then I realise it's not dad and his car because it's actually a Toyota (though in the dream I mistake it for a Mitsubishi, a mistake I commonly make in waking life, but for some reason realised instantly to be wrong as I wrote the recall).

      The car makes laps around the cul-de-sac. I remark that it must simply be using the same engine. At this point it feels like just before sunset. The shadows' directions in the dream would be agreeable to this.

      Then me and H are going around a mix of my old home town/L. We're checking off things from a checklist on my phone. It's night time and the area we're in is a busy part of the city. There seem to be festive decorations of some kind.

      I have some subconscious awareness of Covid but nobody is wearing masks, including myself. The next thing on the list is that we have to visit a chapel. I want to loop up the nearest one on my phone but I have a feeling there's one nearby, maybe an in-dream memory of one.

      We walk towards a riverside/quay area and H leads. As I try to look it up on the phone we gain some distance from each other but I also feel awkward looking things up on my phone, I feel embarrassed of someone looking for some reason.

      (recall gap)

      We are inside a chapel, it's really small and cramped. The ceiling isn't much higher than head level. There's a small altar with some stained glass behind it, making it evident that it is now day time, though I don't realise this change in the dream itself.

      I have an in-dream memory or something of talking to mom about this chapel and we discuss(?) something about the chapel being more valuable not for its physical worth but because of how it brings people together. Something then happens and there are a lot of people in the church now, getting into all the pews and some communal discussion is had?
    6. ccxi. Mission rewards, old theme park

      by , 01-17-2021 at 11:29 AM
      15th January 2021

      Dream:

      I am delivering a Borderlands mission. The UI is like BL1 but I'm not actually in one of the games from the series. I can choose between two legendary rewards. One is a sniper and the other a grenade launcher. I check for some kind of extra stats which are supposed to appear in blue; the grenade launchers' tooltip is greatly expanded and there's something about it having a unique ability which allows summoning one of five vehicles of choice.

      I'm what looks like either a warehouse district or an airbase/military base. Mom and dad are here and some other people I don't recall, too. H is nearby?

      Anyway, I decide to summon one of the vehicles. It's a very Metal Slug-esque tank and it has a somewhat shiny panelling, either red or grey.

      Skipping ahead a bit. In an abandoned, disused or ruined area. I go through some dark tunnel and fighting stuff happens. Then an interaction with some character makes me reveal that it had been some kind of theme park, long ago (I surprise myself?).

      There is what looks like giant heads of an extremely realistic-looking horse and a canid of some sort. Their mouths or lips move about, but as if swaying with no control. I think about it a little bit and conclude it's the wind. We are near the coast. It's sunny but sunset-like and looks like a scene off DSII; the lips of the animal heads look ripped, like they're made of leather or some kind of heavy duty material chosen to be close enough to real textures.

      I think some part of me thinks about drawing.
    7. cciii. Amputated leg; Driving, social contact, journeys

      by , 12-30-2020 at 01:05 PM
      Long dreams but poor recall again. Dream vividness/in-dream detail has been fairly high.

      29th December 2020


      Fragment:


      Was getting out of a house, getting ready to go somewhere. I climb some roof or something like and for some reason I get something really bad in my left leg, it's very painful. My leg gets amputated below the knee.

      Then I'm in a classroom? I walk around, dealing with phantom limb sensations. I tell some therapist I'll try the mirror box theory later when I get a chance, to try and teach my leg/brain that things are different now. I see B from school and talk to him about some drawings he'd made.

      The phantom limb can somehow still hold or move a sandal at the end of where my foot would actually be. I can see the old missing bit of my leg, as if it was phasing in and out.

      30th December 2020


      Dream, fragmented:

      Driving on a motorway/highway. J and my siblings talking to me in a street? I'm in a city of some kind, it's day time. It seems quiet but not overly so, just like not a lot of people actually live here or lead peaceful lives. J was comforting me in some kind of parental way, but I don't remember about what.

      At some point my view changes and it becomes top-down. Things look a bit like Factorio. I launch a nuke ICBM from a silo and after going up out of sight it comes back down only a few structures away from the silo. The silo is OK after this but most of the rest in the area gets destroyed; robots quickly start replacing most of it and I try to manually place some alternate structures.

      (transition gap)

      At a castle, there with mom and T. We take a walk around the outer area of the castle, close to the walls. At some point I climb up some tower. It's really high up and I can see the sky and the sun, as well as distant mountains. Sunset.

      Later in the same area, something about a couple of roofers. I take away a couple of carrier bags and T helps me. I ask if they have some drinks because I'm taking the cola away with me. I accidentally lose grip and drop the carrier bag with it down a flight of worn stone stairs. I don't worry and let out an "oops". T gets slightly upset, or annoyed.

      Then at ground level in an inner courtyard area. I look around and see limestone? yellow-ish stone, into which there are relief carvings and sculptures. I feel compelled to clean these carefully, they're covered in moss and general dirt.

      (transition gap)

      Then I'm on a bus with aunt B and mom. B is telling a story about ravines in Germany and how they are very popular attractions. The bus driver is sort of at the middle/back of the bus. It has a weird layout but looks standard otherwise. I think the driver struggles with seeing where he's going and it feels like there's a lot of traffic around us. It's an overcast day but I remember we go through a tunnel at some point. I remember seeing the ravines my aunt was on about, but partly in my mind, but as vividly as if real?

      (then, many fragments)

      Views of animated scenes with M/M themes. I think something to myself, a kind of feeling of envy (about the authors?) but the specifics are lost. I look up images of Zor'Drak for some reason. The same themes again, explicit in some cases. One picture is of him with an open maw and a tiny creature on his tongue, pleasuring itself; they both seem to be enjoying the activity. There's a light and warm glow coming from deeper inside the mouth. The description mentions "Ezekiel" and it seems this has something to do with the smaller character.
    8. cxcv. Reality editing suite, On a walk with a friend

      by , 12-01-2020 at 06:38 PM
      1st December 2020

      Dream:

      By the end of a dream sequence. I remember some editing interface, like video game authoring tools and sort of in focus, there's a female furry character. A white wolf lady with red-ish accents on the hair on her head. She was part of some kind of animated sign or billboard and had a stylised drawing look to her. I felt curious or interested, but distant in terms of personal connection. I scrubbed through the animation a few times.

      The surrounding area looked like an alleyway of some kind, a street. There were metal-ring fences and such like, some warehouse type buildings. Sunset.

      In the editing interface there was some sort of point and click thing that allowed me to find the source files of textures, sounds, anything really, as long as it was visible in the dream reality and I had the correct and corresponding editing suite module in interface focus.

      (recall gap)

      Near the end of a second dream sequence. I was walking around with JC, from school, in a town I don't recognise. Not dissimilar from the previous area, but morning time instead now. It was an industrial/commercial estate type area and there were covid-related queues for getting into shops. I remember feeling I had no patience for such things (queuing etc) right now. JC was as I remember him; soft face, somewhat short but around the same as me in reality. Perhaps he seemed shorter because he still looked younger.

      We walked past a car stuck in a queue at the entrance to a parking lot area, part of a superstore/shop. It was a blue colour, cerulean like? Like a VW Beetle, but not? JC was in a suit, kind of like JSco might have. He was infantile and yet, mature in some sense. That's how I always felt about him, I now realise.

      I have my casual clothes on. Sweat pants or whatever which I wear both for lounging and for work. Black nylon t-shirt. As we walked, he commented "I want some GTA pussy, you know?". I don't remember replying. Then he continued "It's been a long time."

      His voice didn't sound at all like his actual voice and he spoke in perfect English with none of our native accent. I didn't notice any of this during the dream.

      I remember as we walked along I thought to myself "Great, he's gonna be trying really hard, I'm gonna not be caring and one of these girls will just hit on me instead of him; that would be typical."

      We reached some dead-end looking bit. Concrete-y. Breeze blocks or something like that made up a low wall, damming up earth and whatnot. There may have been a staircase up and through one part. On the top of this low wall, there were heads, some kind of digital representations/avatars or holograms of girls from the neighbourhood and the local school (college/high school). There were a lot of fake blondes? I forget how the heads looked exactly but they didn't seem out of place, somehow. JC sort of inspected each one as we kind of circled around this bit.

      The dream ended soon after, I was woken up by the door.



      Notes:

      - It's possible these were two separate dreams, but I had a feeling they were linked in some sense.

      - JC is one of many friends I had at school that I got along with fairly well, but characteristically, after college I never really heard from him again and he didn't seem too interested in keeping in touch. I remember walking with him in town a few times and having long conversations, probably mostly about games though.

      - Although we shared a common name, physically we were very different and though he wasn't any weaker than me, I always thought he appeared somewhat meek. In this dream he sort of had an aura of over-confidence contradictory to how I knew him, which would have been more over-cautious than anything. In essence, the dream character as a persona was someone else, but took on his physical appearance. In the dream I was my current age, but perhaps with a younger style of thinking.

      - I may have seen a furry character before like the one in the first part of the dream, though I'm not certain if my brain was referencing anything specific. It felt like she was her own original thing, despite what I might consider to be a stereotype representation.
      -- On further thought, I found out about the sub-culture when I was in my mid-teens, which was also around the same time as I knew JC.

      - I don't know what the "GTA pussy" thing was about really, but even in the dream something felt out of place about it. Part of me realised on typing my initial notes that we really have no control over what our friends say sometimes and how we have to just get on and live with it or do something about it and potentially get into a conflict with them.

      - My over-analytical view of this dream is suggesting to me now I should probably try to do some more serious inner work on these subjects.

      Updated 12-03-2020 at 10:30 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    9. clxxxvi. Racey driving, T helps me fight rogues, Death, old level, insane "mom"

      by , 11-01-2020 at 06:57 PM
      31st October 2020

      Dream:

      I'm driving, something like an Opel Insignia or some kind of BMW; an estate or car of that sort, at any rate. It had an automatic transmission but the throttle was under the left thumb on the steering wheel, not on the pedals. Effectively it only had a braking pedal. I remember driving up to a junction which would lead out into a motorway and it had four or five lanes. But the lanes were on the wrong side for where I live now. I was going too fast at first but I find I have to brake suddenly, as someone had spun out of control or was already going in the wrong direction anyway.

      I try to pick up the pace again and find that it's a lot less busy on the road now. I hope that H is following behind me soon. I get into a bit of a race of some kind with two other dream characters, each in their own cars.

      Control of the car felt OK for the most part but a bit wild at times and the road, for a motorway, was surprisingly hilly.

      Fragment:

      I'm the oldest version of my rogue from WoW, a dwarf rogue. T is with my on his human paladin and there are several rogues from the Horde skulking about. They try to kill me, opening with a stun but T heals me and they're a bit dumb and don't think to change targets so we just end up killing these two rogues without much bother. Then I spot another single rogue in stealth and I open on him and kill him too.

      All of us rogues had the same tier two helmet look-alike that was very common sometime after the middle of TBC.

      (Recall gap.)

      I'm Death from Darksiders II and I'm in one of the early-game areas, the town I think. I remember walking outside and there's a beautiful sunlight. This is the very tail end of what was quite a long dream of adventure and typical RPG themes.

      1st November 2020

      7:20; dreams from later on were not made note of and recall was lost.

      Fragment:

      Midway through a dream, JC was apparently talking to me via steam or something and we get talking about TF2 maps and I tell him about my old CTF map based on the UT "Face" map. This was a map I was making for TF2 that included a helicopter from regular HL2.

      But in the dream it's very different very quickly. At first it looks like my vague memory of the map when I last touched it, but then it becomes very realistic. I walk along a Red Base area which is this vividly realistic Egyptian themed area and there's an open courtyard, slightly raised above everything else, with a square-ish mini garden thing at its centre and the floor here is made up of limestone mosaic tiles of some kind, no bigger than one cm or half inch.

      I walk down some steps further toward the base, making note of a great pyramid centred to this courtyard area and see dunes further beyond in the distance.

      I then turn around and see the opposite Blue Base. It looks like Washington DC's capitol building and has vast gardens and water features and creates an interesting contrast to the Egyptian area I'm in.

      Taking out my phone, I start to try and take a panoramic shot of the bases to show JC but the sun starts to set beyond the Washington Base and it gets extremely dark very quickly and so I fail to take the shot, no less because I also stumbled on a step backwards as I was trying to get the angle.

      Fragment:

      Some bit in a warehouse-like place? Like an old 20s industrial building, not sure. Reminds me of old power plant buildings. It seems semi-abandoned but not. There's a character very much like Mom from Futurama and she's talking to a lackey of sorts, a woman in a dress; both of them were in large renaissance style dresses. But then the "Mom" stabs the lackey woman with a scalpel and I'm climbing up along a window's pillar at this time.

      There's something off about it all vs the context and I remark to the character that it seems like a continuity error (also see notes for last DJ entry) but she doesn't care, making some comment stating so. I become concerned she may want to stab me and we are both outside the building now on a semi-grassy area. The area resembled KF2's prison map now. She seems more insane than she perhaps should seem but I somehow trick her into giving me the scalpel while she busies herself disposing of the lackey's body or something, so I simply end up walking away.



      Notes:


      - In waking life, I spoke to HW the day before this dream and he said he'd hoped I'd return to WoW should there be a revival of TBC too.

      - Unfortunately, for most of these dreams I only made some very small notes and so didn't retain certain details I would have liked to have retained, but lately I feel far too tired in the morning to be able to write enough.

      - In the dream with the bases, it's interesting that the sun did set beyond the capitol building, as this would appear West to me (and so should the sun set there) and Egypt would appear to be Near East to me. Although I have had many dreams of sunsets and the like, I can't really recall any other instance where the sun did set so quickly and where everything turned darker than night.

      - The mosaic floor was particularly beautiful and may have come from having recently seen an interesting mosaic mural near where I live, which is unusual for this area, but the rest of the Egyptian theme came from something else; I'm not certain what prompted the capitol building's appearance but either way, both sides seemed to represent West and East in some sense.
    10. xiii.

      by , 07-31-2018 at 08:54 AM
      Non-dream stuff: A very long non-lucid dream. I only remember one part of it, that I held on to loosely as I was quickly forgetting everything, deciding this was the most important part to remember.



      Dream sequence:

      I was in my native country, in the dream context it had been explained why I think but I can't remember it. I was in a small town and it was day, looking to soon be sunset, as everything looked a bit orange.

      This was just a typical town and I was wandering around and there was an old brown-stone church, with one of its doors wide open. I walked in, and I remember I was looking at the floor just before doing so and seeing a roach type bug, but small. In the dream context there was something about going to visit local landmarks. When I entered it wasn't like a church at all, but a community centre of some kind. It was deserted. All the lights were on, but there were many many webs... and spiders, weird ones, some almost as big as my hand. I was very wary, but something compelled me to continue and I kept my instinctive fear in check, wondering why I was fearing them, they were just stood there on their webs, undisturbed for years, clearly.

      I wandered through the first two rooms, and the second room was at the "back" and had large modern glass windows that were letting the sunset light in. Everything had that orange light bath, as expected. I used my boot to clear away some webs I just couldn't avoid if I wanted to move further. After having a look around in this room, where there had been some displays of some kind, I turn back a bit and again have to carefully remove some webs from the way, feeling extremely wary of the spiders on it. I remember being in a room or common hall that connected other rooms and there was a bag of some kind on a swivel office chair. On topof the bag was a black leather wallet. Everything was absolutely covered in webs and I looked at the wallet with the intent of seeing what was inside and taking it, but I saw a slightly open door and could sense something. It was a very small room, a cupboard of some kind, and I couldn't fully open the door in, because of an object inside. The light inside the tiny room was also on, oddly. I reached with my left arm into the room and felt something stony and as I touched it, I saw the wallet and bag disappear and heard a female voice saying "You have resisted temptation. You are blessed with protection." I could "see" an interface icon showing a "buff" as in a game, but the context of the dream felt all too real.

      I remember exploring a little more but there were some areas that didn't have lights on and were getting on for darkness. It is implied in the dream that I went into these areas, as next I remember being at a doorway in the same building and walking into my the room my mom uses as an office at home in waking life, except the view through the windows was part of the dream context. I found it odd to find this room, but didn't question it much. I looked at her computer screen. It was on, something about this feels emotional though I have no idea now what was on the screen, other than the fact that on some timestamp it said the date was "2013". It was 2018, I knew this in the dream context. I took a photograph with my phone of the screen, and I thought something but I can't remember what. I seem to remember that at some point before this in the dream I'd found something else pertaining to my mom, from the past also. Even in the dream I couldn't help but wonder, are these things I'm finding related to her mental health?

      I know I went out of that room but I cannot remember more details, even though the dream sequence didn't end there.



      Some notes (spread out because they'd be too dense to read otherwise):
      • The sunset is a dream-sign. I hadn't realised this before. It is distinctly different from all other times of day, and in my dreams it always represents "the end" (of time, in some way).


      • Even in the dream I thought everything in that light looked beautiful.


      • As I saw all those spiders, I was about to react instinctively and let out some reaction of fear, but the fact that in the dream I had strongly intended to go into this building and that I somehow felt compelled to go further in, made me remember my practice of trying to keep my fear in check. This is the first time in a dream that I have truly suppressed such a basic and intense fear, as far "consciously" as my dream mind would allow. Keep in context that I have been an arachnophobe almost all of my life until very recently, and that in dreams basic fears and instincts are much, much stronger in my behaviour.


      • In the dream context I remember being told by someone to look at the local points of interest and landmarks because I could be interested in them and because they needed people to do some tourism around here. That's the context I had for the "church".


      • The bag/purse under the wallet was magenta. The office chair was a deep blue, I think.


      • All I can remember seeing on that computer screen was a few different windows open, and maybe an image as one of the windows, which is what had the timestamp. In my dream, I knew that my mom had not been in this office for a long time. It looked just as the rest of the community centre.


      • I do not know why even out of the dream now I feel some strong emotion thinking about the date and the screen. As far as I remember, 2013 was no different for my mom, if anything, her mental health has improved greatly since then. But considering it now, it was also when I moved to where I live now, away from my native country.


      • At some point in the dream I understood the sunset feeling like "end", though I'm still not certain what about.


      • The community centre (which was actually the church, after all) corridors and rooms looked, actually, much more like a very stereotypical office building and some doctors offices I've been to.


      • As for the context of my mom's mental health, she suffers from bipolar or something the like, but has it very well controlled by medication these days.

      Updated 08-13-2020 at 01:23 AM by 95293 (Butchered the list a bit to make it more readable instead of it being all condensed.)

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes