DarkestDarkness

7th March 2022

Long dream again, but recall was left until the next day. Somewhat disjointed.

Fragment (DFLN):

I am in a place like L or old home. After something? I am returning to what is "home", where mom and dad live. It's different. The apartment building is shorter, maybe four floors, counting ground. Night time, sodium street lights.

At one point I'm having a conversation with mom and asking her where dad is. I think to myself that I haven't seen him at all during the day and find this odd for some reason.

On the approach to the building or perhaps later on, on a different return, I enter a ground level floor. It looks burnt out and dilapidated; I think I am entering through the back door. There are bums and vagabonds filling this room and it looks like it may have been a cafe or canteen. A man stands out here, he is supposed to be taking care of these people who are less fortunate and he doesn't really seem to care about them, mistreating them in some way, but I lost recall of details.

I don't like how he's treating them and I think I get into an argument with the man, wanting to find some way in which I can help, also possibly berating him for not trying or caring. Later, in a different part of the same building or maybe in adjoining building, I'm in an entrance stairwell. It has a lot of natural light and may have glass walls in part. Something about the staircase seems wrong and dangerous. I go up and down the stairs. I eventually decide that they need to be changed. Each step needs to be longer and slightly shorter, for safety. I think I start a plan on paper or something on how to do it and then do some of the work.

Rest of recall lost.


8th March 2022

I left recall too long and when I started typing the dream recall started fading too because of wakefulness. The dream was quite long and fairly vivid.

Fragment (DFLN):

Living through some kind of live-action/full feature GTA film. Certain bits are in 3D. Something else is half game-like, like an RPG. In terms of physical location, it seems a bit like L and old home in general. The layout is different and it's a ground floor instead. Something about Trevor (GTA V) being missing and when he isn't anymore, he complains about how his 3D wasn't "updated as much".

Outside and through a window I can see several cars. Three range rovers and maybe a van or something of the sort. The range rovers are all different models and colours and all modern, too.

I am more aware of myself as a character now compared to before. I'm naked for some reason. My cousin is here and she was managing something about the cars? Maybe on a computer? She's also tidying things. I need to go to the bathroom. It's like the one I used to use at old home but it seems bigger and the toilet is more in the middle of the room. I put down a navy-blue coloured plastic donut or ring on top of the toilet and sit to have a wee.

This whole place seems dark inside, but it's very bright outside, too.

(earlier?) RPG bit where I have a more reptilian form and also bigger than most other characters. I seem to have levelled enough that I can start some kind of transcendence feature, which seems to relate mostly to getting better abilities.

Non-dream stuff; I woke up at 5:59 initially, then being up for a few minutes and then going back to bed and waking up again later around 7 and later at 10:30 when I got up. I haven't numbered the following sequences because the order in which they happened is really messed up in my memory.

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Fragment and intermission:
This was when I first woke up at 5:59; I simply remember music playing softly. The next paragraph is from waking life:

I woke up from the sound of torrential rain, as did my partner, and we both got up from bed to look. I realised I was still hearing the vague memory of this music very faintly, at which point it stopped completely as I also realised the rain was the likely cause for it in the dream world. After a few minutes we went back to bed, but I did reality checks because it felt like an odd situation, to find that this was indeed reality. I realised that perhaps the fact that I was lucid already by being awoken by something odd was what made me think to do a few RCs. I seem to remember going back to bed with the intention of confronting the man from the next dream written...

Dream sequence:
I was in the car with my partner and we arrived at a parking lot. It was day but it looked dark grey and cloudy. The parking lot was in front of a few shops, and my partner wanted to go to one of the shops for groceries, but closest to us as we got out of the car was a little shop, and I went in and my partner followed. It was a vintage toy shop. There were metallic scale models of WWI and WWII tanks and artillery cannons, and the shop's owner was a man. He had two children, who were also at the shop.

I remember having a look around and taking a liking to a cargo wagon model and a WWII Panzer-like tank model. I always liked the shapes on some of the German tanks. The models were all on display on some glass shelves of some kind, I think. There was a strange red mood lighting and no other lights seemed to be present, actually. This has happened in other dreams though it is uncommon.

Then I was going to buy the model of the tank and my partner was sitting on a sofa thing in the reception area, bored, getting worried the other shop was going to close (which in the dream I felt like he was right about) and then we heard some noise from the other display room and the shop man just said it was his kids.

Then we went out and my partner walked into the other shop, and I was about to too, and I dropped something and I stopped and looked to my left as I was going to pick it up and there was now a small wall close to me but a gap between the wall and the shop. There was a man, crawling forward on his stomach and making raving noises like "oooaaa oooaaa" repeatedly. He looked right out of his mind, and he took what I dropped. I got a bit angry and stepped forward menacingly, remembering now that I was scowling too.

He got up and stood tall; he was a fair bit taller than me and still had an odd expression on his face, and initally just walked forward a bit toward me at which point I threatened him in my native language saying something to the effect of "you wanna get some?!", he stepped forward again and I stepped back because he had long arms and I was wary of him being able to strike me from further than I'd be able to hit him back. Another man stood up from a seat to the left (that I had previously not noticed, in fact there was a whole row of seats and people like at a clinic) and that second man grabbed the first one and directed him toward a bathroom in the wall of the big shop building and bashed the first man's head on the toilet lid.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in some sort of game, with a lot of water. There were big naval vessels and I remember an interface with a map showing lots of dots and dots with circles around them. All of them were coloured, and I remember most of them were yellow or white, and there were some red ones too. They seemed to represent other ships and naval bases. I remember later being on land and something about a military base and my siblings being there.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in a room with a round table. The table was modern and large, but not actually very high. Around the table were myself, some random people and of particular note an old school friend of mine, which I'll call C. I didn't speak to C directly in the dream, she looked moody and was turned away from the table and she looked as I remembered her. Another girl was talking to me and explaining that C and her girlfriend broke up and that C was upset because of it and that they'd been trying to have kids. I initially thought that was a bit odd.

This other girl started having a discussion with me about a random method I'd never heard of for a woman to get pregnant, and I said something like "well, why didn't they just try insemination?" and the girl looked at me with a funny face and said "insemination?" like she'd never even heard the word. She scrawled some crude diagrams of the female reproductive system and of how this other method was going to work.

C left at some point, and that's all I remember.

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Finally, some notes:

• The raving mad man was someone I perceived in the dream to be like a beggar or vagabond. Not the kind of person I would have felt like I'd be threatening with violence, but I was angry for having something taken from me.
• It was odd that in the dream my partner didn't come looking for me but I didn't think of it in the dream either.
• The lighting in the toy model shop could have been a good cue to RC. I need to add it to my list of Uncommon dream-signs, as I've had it before.
• My old friend C was someone I had a crush on during school time. This should was a dream-sign and good cue for RC. For context, a couple of years later I did talk to her about it and she said that it wouldn't have mattered because at the time I was interested in her, she wasn't intersted in going out with anyone because she was fed up, but we were still friends.
• The fact that C and whoever her girlfriend was were breaking up seemed sudden to me in the dream. In waking life I do know that she has a girlfriend now but I so rarely speak with C that I don't really know anything about her life.
• The other very explanatory girl, felt like one of those irritating people who you can't really have a discussion with. Ironically I'm fairly certain she was dream-generated.
• It is somewhat curious to me that the dream-generated woman I recently had appear in some dreams, the receptionist, was a woman that represents the black hair archetype of woman I've found in waking life, such as C and some other friends. The Anima I've previously had appear in dreams was blonde, quiet, and of somewhat firm attitude. This second dream-generated archetype seems to be a different kind of Anima, more likely to respond and talk but also being firm in attitude.

I should make note that this DJ entry marks a bit of a milestone since starting this dream journal, that my dream recall has generally improved a lot solely by having the intention of writing down the dreams and having a routine to do so. I am no longer forgetting fragments easily between sleeping and waking, though it still happens.