• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccxvii. Daikatana marshes, Art anxieties, Nobody wearing a mask

      by , 01-26-2021 at 08:03 PM
      25th January 2021

      Fragment:

      Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

      I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

      26th January 2021


      Dream:

      I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

      Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

      There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

      I feel disappointed, or hurt.

      Dream:

      I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

      I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

      I can't recall where we go or end up.



      Notes:
      - Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
      -- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

      - The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

      Updated 01-26-2021 at 08:09 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    2. cxcv. Reality editing suite, On a walk with a friend

      by , 12-01-2020 at 06:38 PM
      1st December 2020

      Dream:

      By the end of a dream sequence. I remember some editing interface, like video game authoring tools and sort of in focus, there's a female furry character. A white wolf lady with red-ish accents on the hair on her head. She was part of some kind of animated sign or billboard and had a stylised drawing look to her. I felt curious or interested, but distant in terms of personal connection. I scrubbed through the animation a few times.

      The surrounding area looked like an alleyway of some kind, a street. There were metal-ring fences and such like, some warehouse type buildings. Sunset.

      In the editing interface there was some sort of point and click thing that allowed me to find the source files of textures, sounds, anything really, as long as it was visible in the dream reality and I had the correct and corresponding editing suite module in interface focus.

      (recall gap)

      Near the end of a second dream sequence. I was walking around with JC, from school, in a town I don't recognise. Not dissimilar from the previous area, but morning time instead now. It was an industrial/commercial estate type area and there were covid-related queues for getting into shops. I remember feeling I had no patience for such things (queuing etc) right now. JC was as I remember him; soft face, somewhat short but around the same as me in reality. Perhaps he seemed shorter because he still looked younger.

      We walked past a car stuck in a queue at the entrance to a parking lot area, part of a superstore/shop. It was a blue colour, cerulean like? Like a VW Beetle, but not? JC was in a suit, kind of like JSco might have. He was infantile and yet, mature in some sense. That's how I always felt about him, I now realise.

      I have my casual clothes on. Sweat pants or whatever which I wear both for lounging and for work. Black nylon t-shirt. As we walked, he commented "I want some GTA pussy, you know?". I don't remember replying. Then he continued "It's been a long time."

      His voice didn't sound at all like his actual voice and he spoke in perfect English with none of our native accent. I didn't notice any of this during the dream.

      I remember as we walked along I thought to myself "Great, he's gonna be trying really hard, I'm gonna not be caring and one of these girls will just hit on me instead of him; that would be typical."

      We reached some dead-end looking bit. Concrete-y. Breeze blocks or something like that made up a low wall, damming up earth and whatnot. There may have been a staircase up and through one part. On the top of this low wall, there were heads, some kind of digital representations/avatars or holograms of girls from the neighbourhood and the local school (college/high school). There were a lot of fake blondes? I forget how the heads looked exactly but they didn't seem out of place, somehow. JC sort of inspected each one as we kind of circled around this bit.

      The dream ended soon after, I was woken up by the door.



      Notes:

      - It's possible these were two separate dreams, but I had a feeling they were linked in some sense.

      - JC is one of many friends I had at school that I got along with fairly well, but characteristically, after college I never really heard from him again and he didn't seem too interested in keeping in touch. I remember walking with him in town a few times and having long conversations, probably mostly about games though.

      - Although we shared a common name, physically we were very different and though he wasn't any weaker than me, I always thought he appeared somewhat meek. In this dream he sort of had an aura of over-confidence contradictory to how I knew him, which would have been more over-cautious than anything. In essence, the dream character as a persona was someone else, but took on his physical appearance. In the dream I was my current age, but perhaps with a younger style of thinking.

      - I may have seen a furry character before like the one in the first part of the dream, though I'm not certain if my brain was referencing anything specific. It felt like she was her own original thing, despite what I might consider to be a stereotype representation.
      -- On further thought, I found out about the sub-culture when I was in my mid-teens, which was also around the same time as I knew JC.

      - I don't know what the "GTA pussy" thing was about really, but even in the dream something felt out of place about it. Part of me realised on typing my initial notes that we really have no control over what our friends say sometimes and how we have to just get on and live with it or do something about it and potentially get into a conflict with them.

      - My over-analytical view of this dream is suggesting to me now I should probably try to do some more serious inner work on these subjects.

      Updated 12-03-2020 at 10:30 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    3. cliii. European Aztecs (Museum) and Race with an Assassin

      by , 09-09-2020 at 04:33 PM
      Been having motivational issues around dreaming because of how mornings (and days in general) have been lately, but really need to finish catching up my DJ. Will also try to give this some relevant title...

      22nd August 2020 (DFLN thread)

      Dream:

      Something about being in a town and visiting a cultural centre thing with a group of people, like a field trip (from how I remember them at school).

      There were some little statuette things atop a doorway bit at the entrance of a museum area? The statuettes were the legacy of an Aztec culture that (in the dream) had existed in Europe until the 800s.

      I remember some people in the group were old classmates of mine. Many of them were simply messing around and some of them got some chairs to try and reach up to the statuettes to touch them. The statues had some visual resemblance to football players? Or to table football figurines. The statuettes were very blocky and maybe made of some kind of painted terracotta.

      I was completely uninterested in messing around like them and so went for a walk. I remember the inside of the museum looked dark, no lights were on inside since it was daytime. I think I went with one of the teachers around the area. There were gardens of some kind and it was sunny. There was a little artificial water feature, like a mini concrete pond.

      Then I had walked a really long way. Eventually I'm jogging or running? And then there's a guy along the pavement and I sort of prompt him to race with me. It's night time now but bright from moonlight (I vaguely recall a sunset transition as I walked); we're in a suburban type of area, reminds me of North American suburbs.

      I don't quite remember how, but eventually we're very high up, we climbed or ran up some thick steel cabling to get here. We're higher than some of the tallest buildings' rooftops in the area. This is some kind of construction site. Then a thunderstorm begins and this guy I raced with tells me about some villain he has to assassinate, like I'd earned his trust or something? I somehow have a focused zoom-view looking straight down from the girders we're on an I see what I can only describe as a convertible white limo. The villain steps out and he looks like King Pin.

      I use some kind of oversized (comically?) rocket launcher, featuring a red colour scheme. I shoot straight down at the limo, I don't remember exactly what happened but the dream went on for a while, but at this point recall had faded too much.



      Notes:

      - The area the museum was in was very much like the areas around my old home, but more so of the town next over from mine (Bran).
    4. cxxxix. Pre-lucid moment and artificial dream sign

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:22 AM
      1st July 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but recall up to this point was poor. About halfway in, I was going through a busy-ish city centre with some other dream character walking along with me.

      Then a very obvious dream sign appeared, a tall woman in labcoat, walking away in a different direction, possibly wearing nothing else. She had flat and very black hair, reminding me of one of my cousin's hair or come to think of it, a sort of Cleopatra hairstyle?

      I recognised the dream sign and checked the fingers on my right hand, but for some reason I didn't realise I was dreaming and I didn't make further checks. Something about my fingers seemed distorted but the number was correct. I didn't remember to do any physics checks oddly and I think I was also distracted by whatever my previous dream objective was.

      Later I either had a micro awakening or another pre-lucid moment during which I automatically reflected on what had happened and how I'd been unable to realise I was dreaming, but again not realising this irony.

      (Missing recall)

      Different part of the dream. I was somewhere kind of dark. Some dream character was showing me something? Then some of this characters pet spiders appeared on the ground out of nowhere, individually one after another, there were only a few though. But for some reason in the dream I let my phobia sort of return and take a small hold of me, mostly because of the first spider. It was a black and yellow/gold patterned orb weaver, about the size of a large hand. Even in my temporarily panicked state I realised that it seemed more afraid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

      (Missing transition)

      Another part of the dream sequence where I was at some modern-ish looking house. I was not myself, but a character for the dream plot. I was some kind of elemental creature but I don't recall any details of my form or appearance. There were four other humanoid creatures of similar elemental nature. There was an absent character that had created us and one of the other creatures had been created right in front of me. She appeared in a cloud of white smoke within a glass room, which I was standing outside of. The glass enclosing this "room" made it more like a container or cell of sorts really.



      Notes:

      - This dream was a particularly good pre-cursor to the lucidity I had later on (4th August).
      -- At this point I had been becoming more diligent with my reality checks but not quite so much just yet. Currently at the time of writing (13th August) I am far more diligent with my RCing though there are still situations under which I should be checking but still am not quite so often.

      - My primary issue with my RC was really the fact that I gave up on the first try but this was made much worse by the fact that the dream itself caused distraction from my RC procedure, something that I'm a bit more careful.

      - The bit with the spiders was somewhat unusual in that I haven't been letting this affect me at all in waking life but it may have been around the time when I've seen bigger ones around the house more recently.
      - This was the first dream with spiders for quite some time now, I think.
    5. ci.

      by , 03-21-2020 at 02:13 PM
      Really bad headache last night, but had some semi-lucid dream as I fell asleep. Haven't been making note of dreams very much in the last few days on account of going through a phase of being too tired on waking and too many mornings having their routines disrupted.

      Edit: Somehow nearly forgot an important detail here; While I was in bed trying to fall asleep I did try to incubate dreams about working on my paintings again, my thoughts on this passed fairly early on and I got distracted with other thoughts, getting somewhat vivid music and other sleep cues instead but I suppose the lucid dream did relate directly to the incubation intent. I thought I'd try working on the incubation anyway because of my headache, and it did help to distract me from it.



      Lucid fragment (on falling asleep):

      I didn't notice the transition from wakefulness to dream imagery but I was in a bigger version of our front room. It was day time, my paints and the table I keep them on were there and I remember the big window. I don't think the canvas I've been working on was there. I half realised I was dreaming and walked or ran forward into the room, towards the opposite wall, which is a corner where I keep a bunch of my stuff for painting, but in the dream context it's like there would be a door there or something, even though I couldn't see it yet; I carried out some hand checks as I moved even though I was already in a type of lucidity but the stability started to go pretty quickly and I lost my half-lucid state. Sort of faded away in terms of recall after that.

      The only thing I remember after that is a gap of nothingness and then some dreams from the morning, that again I didn't turn into notes.

      Updated 03-21-2020 at 02:15 PM by 95293

      Categories
      lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    6. lxii.

      by , 11-01-2018 at 12:48 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up at about 8:20 or so with one of my alarms, but went back to sleep. Woke up again nearer 11:00. Was having a semi-vivid non-lucid dream, some details lost now because I had to get up to do other stuff.



      Dream:
      I remember my computer screen. I was sitting down to do something and then some weird pop-ups and music started. I couldn't find out what was causing the music to play so I started looking at the list of processes, finding a few things that looked out of place. I was a bit startled to find this was some sort of malware playing the music, and causing these pop-ups, which for once were mostly innocent (and somewhat detailed) drawings of several themes.

      Even so I was feeling under threat or stressed and I looked at the file location for the suspicious processes, continuously closing these pop-ups as they appeared. The music was sort of calm, nothing intense, but it didn't feel any less unnerving in the dream. I found the files for the music-playing program and there was a file without an extension called "about"; I opened it up with NPP, which as expected revealed a few lines of text, including the motivation of the person that made this malware thing. Apparently it was from a Swiss games company, which I thought was very odd. I remember an e-mail address and some other details.

      I remember thinking it was my own fault for not having an anti-virus installed and I was showing the malware to my partner (H) I think. But then I noticed a little tray icon for Avast or something like that and I said to H "see, it doesn't detect it...", referencing the lack of any alerts.

      In the end I think I was going to delete the files of the malware programs, as they didn't look like they'd been protected in any way, but I can't remember what I actually did do.

      Then some transition. Remember being in a town or city. In the US maybe? I was walking along with H and I think it was dusk or day time, but we went into this fancy modern/futuristic-looking building that was like a big surface tunnel; inside it looked kind of like a mall and was a bit busy, and I remember H interacting with someone. A guy that was working at a restaurant dropped something while clearing trays and H helped.

      Not sure what happened next. Transition?

      Outside, slightly sloped area, evening/sunset. Some houses. Thinking about the malware again? Faint memory of the music again.

      There was more, but I seem to have lost recall for the next bits.



      Some notes:
      • The particular vividness of this dream did not seem to make me any more aware or questioning of its nature than usual.
      • The music playing may mean that in waking life there was some other sound. This may have been my alarm or later one of H's alarms. Either way, music playing in dreams often relates to their vividness for me, though they are not always implicit to each other.
      • The drawings were of things like classic representations of landscapes but also of "furry" themes and still life.





      Scoring:
      + Previous score: 62.0

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 2.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream: 1.0
      ++ Ask for advice: 1.0 (asking H for help with the malware)

      = Total score thus far: 64.0

      Updated 11-06-2018 at 12:38 PM by 95293 (Score typo)

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    7. xxxv.

      by , 09-09-2018 at 11:56 AM
      Non-dream stuff - I'm a bit too tired to write all the details on this entry. Had a long non-lucid that I'll summarise.



      The dream mostly consisted of me going around several towns around my home town, as I was trying to buy some beer either in a bottle or a can for a friend that was visiting. The context which was also part of the dream beforehand was that there were a few friends visiting at my childhood home but I only had one beer, which is what led me to go out to try and get more. At a few points I wondered if I was gone too long, considering they were only guests, I probably shouldn't have left them on their own.

      Even though I went to about 5 different shops over all the towns, nobody had any beer at all, unbelievably. I remember I did find a load of cans at a shop, and I bought them, only to realise later they were some sort of vanilla coke cans. I still had the impression they were beers, which made me wonder since when did coca-cola do beer... A bit later I met a dream character which in the dream context was my friend. He had an extremely overburdened backpack and he was a bit shorter than me and bald. We went separate ways but waved as we did. I continued searching for beer after that.

      I don't remember at what point the dream ended exactly.



      Notes:
      • The fact that beer was being that difficult to find should perhaps at least have made me wonder if such a situation could happen on a normal day, though for some reason the time of day in the dream felt like it was relevant.
      • The fact that I went over so many towns should have been more surprising, since I only walked from place to place, and in the dream I didn't have my typical fatigue in any normal sense.
      • Additionally, I typically don't drink alcohol at all (some drinks make me feel very ill within a few minutes) but some beers are alright to have and I did find myself with a craving for a beer during the dream, probably because it's been a few months since I last tasted any.

      Updated 09-09-2018 at 11:59 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes