• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccxcii. Underwater fights, Triangular package, Quiet beach

      by , 06-29-2021 at 03:28 PM
      Some in-line notes in brackets.

      27th June 2021

      Scraps:

      Unrecorded. Something about being underwater and there's a giant ghostly crab and an equal sized ghostly shark or something. There are underwater buildings, regular city buildings, but inside they are mostly empty? After this dream, I remember thinking about how "being in water, is to fly" or something of the sort making a comparison of the two states. (I have no special interest in dream flight that doesn't use some kind of device or body part to accomplish it, though I do like swimming quite a lot.)

      (This dream had a general nature of conflict or dispute and seemed to take place in an original location)



      28th June 2021

      (recall not written down on waking but later on this day)

      Fragment:

      At home. A courier is putting something through the letterbox. I approach and he's actually putting his hand through the letterbox now and trying to pull the triangular package back towards him through the opening. (The package was bigger than the opening but it looked stiff, not bendable)

      The letterbox is lower down than it should be and the door seems to be see-through actually. As I come to open the door, first opening the foyer door I think, I find that the front door is simply not there anymore. I or the courier grab the package and I ask if he has to take it back because of it being batteries or something. (possibly intrusion from looking at batteries online, the night before?) He gives me some explanation accordingly but then decides to leave it with me after all.

      Fragment:

      There was more before this but no recall. Arriving at a sea-side area, possibly by car. I'm with someone, H? There's a sandy beach where I expected loads of people would be and when I see it's mostly empty, the other person tells me "see, I told you so" or something. The beach is between a six or so story tall fortification on the left, typical sea-side fort look to it, at least for the style I'm used to. On the right, the road slopes up at slow incline and there's some other building on the side of the beach.

      I end up going into that building? No recall of the inside anymore. Something about two muscular women (like Klingons but not?) and I don't get along with them for some reason. I leave this building by a door on the beach level, like a back or access door. The beach isn't quite there anymore, like there's more water now. It's sunny through the entire dream segment.

      (Shadow positioning suggests that the sea is West, the fort South, the second building North and the road I came from (but never looked toward) is East)
    2. cclxxvii. Not properly washed, Night in my hometown

      by , 05-31-2021 at 10:19 PM
      31st May 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm at a distorted version of the old home. The house is partly blended with a supermarket freezer aisle and a classroom, I think this is at the end of a dream segment that took place in a supermarket-like location. I'm nude in the bathroom and washing my hands. From a long distance away, I see JC (through a mirror?) jeering at me, saying I spend a lot of time washing my hands but that I still manage to do it so poorly. I find this comment hurtful because R (the tall one with the short curly hair) is next to me and agreeing with JC. I dry my hands, kind of poorly because of the towel, not taking away all the moisture.

      I leave the bathroom and I'm in the corridor, it's more like the rest of how the house should be now. There's something about ice creams, some Magnums. There are two on the floor of the corridor against a skirting board, seems like someone is keeping them here to save them for later. I think about how they won't keep very well here. On closer look they're not wrapped anymore, and their outer chocolate shells are cracked. I try and fiddle but only make it worse. I leave them be and go to my room, which would actually be L's room.

      Fragment:

      (earlier dream) I'm in my home town, like I've just returned after years. It's night time and I just left the house for some reason (emotional?) and I walk down to the shopping centre area. The path is more direct than it would be in waking life, the road goes right through where the parish church should be.

      At the front of the shopping centre, it's really well lit but mostly by phosphor street lights. I see some groups of people just idling about, chatting. A lot of them, I notice are people I knew from school, though some of them are black kids that used to make fun of me (M, R, are ones I remember). Unusually, I feel apprehensive over this, I think because there's so many people but I walk past them without being bothered, though I think people stare at me? This is the bit right in front of the bank, between the small substation building, said building is replaced in the dream by a ramp going underground (coming from the main road, the roundabout?).

      I turn left since it's the corner. This bit that should be road and car parking spots is all limestone cobbled path. I see MM and I walk past I say hello and wave at him, almost in his face, but he doesn't hear or see me, doesn't acknowledge me. He's coming out through some glass sliding doors. I don't look inside but there's a bright cool light in there. Makes me think or feel of an airport.

      I keep walking towards the open end of that underground ramp. Now I see D. I say hello to him too and he greets me back, we start talking. I ask him if he saw MM over there and he did, commenting something about him. We go down into the ramp, there's a sort of seamless transition and we're in a subway station. It's vast, more than almost any I can recall in waking life but it is like others I've dreamed of. It is well lit and there is a lot of concrete and some metal accents.

      There's a fair amount of people around? I get the impression it's quite late but I don't know or see the time at any point. I talk with D all the way as we walk, but sadly I can't recall what about.



      Notes:

      - I dreamed of D only recently. In the past when I've dreamed of him or the other D, it has usually been linked with personal relationship in some sense. Both D and MM were two of my only true childhood friends, but at the same time, I ended up eventually feeling abandoned and disconnected from both too. Besides from relationships and from family, I don't think I ever felt friendship like theirs again, at least so far anyway, though at several points I have hoped that people I have met would become friends like they had been.

      - In the dream it was as though MM was seeing past me, like he was aware of my presence but not acknowledging me. I remember he was standing still as I walked past whilst greeting him, expecting he would say something, at which point I would have stopped.

      - The point at which I felt apprehensive about continuing on past the groups in front of the shopping centre was mostly a form of social anxiety that I haven't really had too much of in my adult life. On some level, I was afraid of being mocked. The other dream fragment also relates to some aspect of this.

      - For the past few nights I keep trying to think about dreaming, lucidity and even previous dreams, but my mind always ends up drifting off and before I know it, it's morning. But I manage to recall most of my thoughts and moments prior to falling asleep fairly well.
    3. cclvii. City of cathedrals, Investigation, Concrete sewers and undead rabbits

      by , 04-23-2021 at 09:57 PM
      23rd April 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on.

      The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them.

      (recall gap)

      Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something.

      (gap)

      A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room.

      At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it.

      The room has a cold and dim light or ambience.



      Notes:

      Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy:

      Updated 04-23-2021 at 09:58 PM by 95293 (grammar)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    4. ccxxxiii. Nature visit, soil lab

      by , 03-02-2021 at 03:58 PM
      27th February 2021

      Fragment:


      (was a long dream but only recalled bits and pieces)

      Me, H, J and S; we're all meeting up at some rocky place. They parked their car in a small rocky alcove, I think we go and see the car?

      As they found out, it was wet and the bottom part of their car is getting too wet. In this semi-flat rocky area there are some waves of pure and clear water, not more than an inch high. The area is slightly sloped down away from the rocky alcove bit but the small waves of water still climb with ease.

      I talked to J about it and we discuss the underground water tables. I don't remember getting wet or feeling wet from standing in the shallow water.

      Then something about us driving elsewhere. J was in their own car and we were in ours. H gives me his phone so I can text her if needed. But I suggest it may not be a good idea since she'll be driving too. (S was seemingly gone from the dream at this point?)

      During the drive, I think we discuss food and how we should maybe stop for lunch somewhere along the way. I think we were going to but then we don't? I know that we do go past a place and I mention this and H remarks with "well, too late now" as we drive past.

      We arrive at a lab of some sort. They do advanced soil analysis here? We get into a conflict with the personnel because they are apparently doing something evil.

      There's a mini turret that tries to shoot at us but me and H approach it covertly and work to disable it. I end up simply disconnecting the neutral cable, not fully expecting it to work, but it does.

      I think we then confront some of the personnel/research team.
    5. ccxvii. Daikatana marshes, Art anxieties, Nobody wearing a mask

      by , 01-26-2021 at 08:03 PM
      25th January 2021

      Fragment:

      Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

      I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

      26th January 2021


      Dream:

      I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

      Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

      There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

      I feel disappointed, or hurt.

      Dream:

      I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

      I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

      I can't recall where we go or end up.



      Notes:
      - Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
      -- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

      - The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

      Updated 01-26-2021 at 08:09 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    6. ccviii. School stuff and a brief rampage

      by , 01-11-2021 at 05:31 PM
      11th January 2021

      Dream:

      At a school. For whatever reason, it has headstones on its gardens like a church yard would. I'm in a classroom initially, banal stuff happens. Not sure what the class/lecture is. Feels like school from when I was between age 10-15.

      Eventually, a second teacher comes in. A black woman, she smiles a lot and seems friendly. She sits next to me on my left at my desk. I notice she has extremely short hair, not unlike my own haircut in waking life right now but her hair is curly. Her skin tone itself is very dark but not the darkest I've ever seen.

      She smiles and we talk about some forms I was supposed to have filled. It was some kind of evaluation or assessment, I remember doing bits of it beforehand. There's this page with a table layout and she asks if we should go from there. She's sort of... half on a phone line with someone at the same time? That other person can hear our conversation but I don't remember hearing them.

      At some point, I notice we're outside, still sitting at the same desk. As we're going through the page, because of the way she explains some things, it becomes obvious to me that what little I'd done was not fully correct and my assumptions about the column headers were erroneous.

      I have some vague recall that it was an assessment about my physical symptoms.

      It's kind of a perfect day; sunny outside with a very light amount of distant clouds. I feel or notice the tufty grass under where we're sitting.

      She gets another call, or someone comes? and tells her that she's going to be suspended from work. Apparently, she forgot (and I didn't know) that we were violating the rights of the dead, by blocking the space between them and the sky. She's not phased by this and smiles politely but genuinely. This other party berates me and tells me I'll be failing this class. I feel sad and start sobbing.

      The black lady leads and accompanies me into one of the school halls. Dark and unlit, except for a reflecting glow from outside.

      I ask her, in my native language and in anger and crying, "why is there such a stupid rule?". I feel frustrated and say whatever else comes to mind, and I say "it's a pointless rule!" as I walk toward a window. From a first-floor (we were on a ground floor a moment ago but I didn't notice this) window I see the tightly packed headstones and ask "why the hell does a school even have graves on its grounds?!" and I think I walk back to her and we walk together a little bit.

      She's about to say something and I try to stop sobbing and I say "I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" and I feel that the suspension she's getting is completely unfair. She smiles again and tells me something, also talking about her suspension though before she can manage to comfort me I feel myself running away, still angry and confused at everything that had just happened.

      I'm not on the school grounds anymore and I'm running angrily and aimlessly through a city street wide enough for six cars. Three buses following behind each other are coming my way, slowly, but I make no effort to avoid them at first. I think about how I could die crushed by one and nobody would care, but before I get too close, I preserve myself and avoid getting trapped or run over but in a blind anger I swing my arms at them, trying to hit the back plating. I continue running down the street in my emotional state with some awareness of people around looking at me a little.

      The street slopes downwards and is in the shade of a large and tall building to the left. As the street continues down it has an edge and beyond that in the distance I see the rest of this massive city lit by sunlight, on a sort of cylindrical slope or half-tube. It's an amazing cityscape but I don't even make an effort to appreciate this during the dream.

      (later, or after waking up and falling asleep again while thinking about how I would like to be lucid and would like to anger an Olympian god)

      I'm in a dark house. There's a door leading to a basement with vehicles and I want to take a bomber jet. Mom is in this first room and tells me that dad took something out for a ride but as I approach the door he comes through it and lets me know that I can't use what I was wanting to, just right now. I seemingly don't care too much and go through anyway and get on a "mini" battleship, no bigger than a small van.

      I take it out and immediately I'm in some kind of combat adventure. There are bad guy lackeys trying to shoot at me but they do so in vain and even though "miniature" this battleship moves a ton of water; I'm going down some kind of tropical river. Going down some rapids I think about taking out some more distant targets and then I open a realistic-view interactive map of a nearby area and decide I want to teleport there, trying to pick a precise spot and imagining the best spot to make the battleship drop on to displace a lot of water when it reappears and falls in. But when I actually do teleport, I'm not in the battleship anymore.

      I'm now some kind of gorilla; some remnant of the anger from the earlier dream returns, in some way. I go down an area full of people and cars and I attack them but only in passing; I seem to be focusing on simple continuing along and just damaging whatever's within reach along the way. At one point near the end, a panicked man in his car pointlessly tries to run me over. I'm about the same size as the car but easily avoid it and then proceed to chase after him for a while before I lose interest and continue my aimless rampage. This bit takes place near a fast food car park.



      Notes:

      - This dream was completely non-lucid and at no points did my awareness really raise any higher; there were no pre-lucid thoughts or feelings. It was very vivid overall and all emotions were quite intense, but none of the intensity carried over on waking.

      - I took an extra supplement before bed last night.

      - That woman was such a nice person and after writing my initial notes for the dream it really reminded me of how lucky I was through school at times, having had figures like her present not just once but many times.
    7. clxx. A quest for soup

      by , 09-29-2020 at 05:21 PM
      I thought I was missing a dream... It seems I skipped an older DJ entry by accident...

      12th August 2020

      8:30

      Dream:

      (points) Something about furry art. A kitchen, on-board a boat. Fancied two girls who were aboard. They were flirty? But they didn't know about one another.

      I was in some open restaurant area. I wanted soup from some famous female cook? I remember running in my home town. It was busy. I saw a motorised unicycle of some kind with a white paint job; I thought it looked kind of cool and I thought about how someday it would look out of place, outdated and silly. It was night time and I had to sprint my best (didn't feel dream slowness too much) to get to a harbour that was where the exit ramp out of town should be. From there, this cruise ship was leaving and I knew this because of its horn which I heard while running. I didn't want to miss it.

      I got to the loading ramp just as it was leaving and made a jump for it. It was a bare miss from my mark, plunging into water and grabbing onto a rear steering fin.

      From there I thought of calling someone (JC?, but the character or my old friend?) on the ship to bring me a rope. Then thought of just using a teleport command instead. No, instead I decided I could do this by myself and balanced on top of the steering fin and despite the water and speed, jumped forward and got on the deck.

      I got in through some doorway, watching my head. Passing thought of "so what if I fancy both of them?". I go down some steep metal or wood steps and I see her, one of these girls whom I apparently fancied. She was taking off some clothes in order to get changed. She had red briefs, a blood red colour.

      I remember we both smiled at each other but didn't speak. I had the awareness of having a glazed clay bowl in my hand and wanting some soup. There was a kitchen ahead through another bulkhead doorway. When I got inside the kitchen, there were two aggressive dream characters sort of accosting me. I forget who they were or looked like, but they were like pirates?

      Insistently I told them I would pay them to be left alone while I was in here. They thought I had nothing of value (mocked me?) and I remember scrounging through my pocket. Dozens of coins, I shove them at the two "pirates", the coins aren't nearly as valuable as I'd first expected however. I keep looking through my pockets. A stone? No, an ore nugget of sorts. It feels rough and I give it to them. It was a nugget of gold, but in reality the feel of it was more like a piece of pyrite ore like one I have in waking life.

      But I still decided this wasn't enough and somehow gave them something else but I don't remember what it was. They are now dumbfounded and agree to my terms now. Their aggression goes away, pretty much, and now I walk around the kitchen and see a very orange-y styled chest freezer, with pictures of garfield on it. I assume this is some BL ice cream thing A started.

      I remember going near a counter at the end of a queue bit, effectively bypassing said queue. But I felt as though I'd earned it with my payments to the "pirates". I still want that soup, but I can't or don't manage to find any?

      The next thing I remember, a black chef is getting fired and complaining that he was in a good mood and the head chef ruined it all and so on. I remember very shortly after, reading a review online that this chef left about the restaurant, saying very poor things about the crew or something. I feel that it's in bad taste (but feel some sympathy). Then I'm in an upper deck. Mix of a train and airplane aisle? Windows to the outside. It's day-time and some people are sitting in this cabin-like bit by the windows. A white girl says "I was pinning (some artist)", referring to how she was subscribing to this artist on some platform called "pin.it"?

      We're talking about furry artists, apparently. She mentions she feels embarrassed for talking about it out loud. A big black man sitting next to her, gives her some reassurance and tells her he actually had some interest in that same artist too.

      I forget what else happened, a lot of detail is absent from this DJ entry overall but I had a lot more recall of the dream initially.

      Some other bit about a base, partially in space? With technical-looking game block tiles and an ancient Egyptian ruin? Some overlap with the pirates somehow...



      Original note:

      - On waking I could smell the curry I'd left on a timer to start cooking at 7AM. The cookery related part of the dream may well have stemmed from that and from all the preparation I'd done for it last night. I also made a dessert, leaving the curry, the main course, to effectively cook overnight. In the dream, I was looking for a soup, which to me is traditionally a starting course.

      Added notes:

      - Quite likely the search for the soup was both a metaphor and a more literal desire at the same time. In the literal sense, a true full meal, to me, should include a starter such as a small soup, a main course, with meat or fish, and a dessert course, such as a sweet pudding of some kind and the meal we would be having the day of the dream would be missing this starter course. In the less literal sense, this food-related dream-plot goes back to old roots and to what I was used to having at meal times for a large part of my early life, so it seems somewhat nostalgic in a sense. I could extrapolate more meaning from this but these are the two most immediately relevant meanings to me.

      - The more carnal aspects about relationships on this dream maybe just came about as a coincidence with the food plot, since food and sex are supposedly pretty close in the brain, that's what makes sense in my mind anyway. But the two girls were also distinct in some way that I can't remember anymore (one may have been more open and the other more reserved and other such dualities?), so in the more metaphorical sense they are probably just relating directly to some aspects of myself, not to mention that at the time I was working on developing two characters that had a similar nature of duality between them.
    8. clxii. An artifact that everyone wants

      by , 09-12-2020 at 04:31 PM
      7th September 2020

      Dream:


      At a village of some kind, there's a crypt building? It's hidden away behind bushes and completely blocked in by trash and rubbish, the locals don't care about it anymore.

      I hesitate because of feeling like things will be dirty, but I start to lob some bin bags out of the way. I'm expecting I'll uncover a stone staircase down into the crypt but eventually I uncover a metal lid instead.

      I see an axe, it's been together with steel sections, it looks new. I pick it up and wedge it in between the lid and the floor and pry it open with some leverage. It works and I go in, down a ladder? Then I'm in some sort of ancient dilapidated engineering section. There are catwalks, everything's metal but nothing seems rusty or oxidised in any sense but I think the metals appear dull. The structure I'm on seems to be over an endless black pit. For some reason this doesn't bother me, it feels solid?

      Then I'm holding the axe in my left hand, my phone on my right, using its torch. I realise that if danger were to show up I'll be having a hard time swinging the axe this way, so I swap hands. I wander and go through several different sections of this area. Some zed-like clones start appearing.

      Using the axe, I swing aiming for their heads, my reach seems to exceed what it should be but I seem to be having trouble killing them. I don't remember what happened, but then I'm further into the compound. I find something in a different area which is more office-like. A magical artifact of some kind? It's why I was here, but what was it? Some golden dust bracers or something?

      There's a tiny bit of a Fallout feel to the whole place but I'm thinking now it also reminds me of Stanley's parable and the back-areas of Portal. At some point some back-up power comes on.

      (Transition or recall gap)

      At a mansion of some kind. It's connected secretly, I'm speaking to someone and some dream character is a dear friend of mine, apparently. Vague memory of Patrick Stewart or Captain Picard? But I am hesitant to share details about this artifact thing. But I tell him that it could be used to control all of humanity, despite the fact that it could also be used to usher some new era of technology that would be of great benefit to everyone. Visions of this.

      In the mansion place there is some kind of lift thing in an ornate square room, wooden panelling. The lift is cylindrical? Floor is made of glass, lots of teal/cyan light coming from below.

      (Chronology of the dream is messed up)

      I'm in Un'goro, I'm a hunter and kill a Horde hunter, level 68. Don't see my level but assume 60. Get him with an aimed shot.

      Some bit out in a street. There's a Toshiba drive-by? They fail but then I'm shooting arrows at them.

      (gap)

      Back at the secret bunker place. I remember lifts several times. One time, one of them leads to the surface, something about the artifact. I remember sea all around and then when I get the artifact out of a bag or something there's 59 notifications on a UI from admirals and 100+ from other individuals or nations. They all want the artifact. I did read through the messages from the admirals but it's basically all crap, demanding the artifact some more politely than others.

      (gap)


      Back at the bunker place. In an office room with lobby. I leave the room, and I'm outside but still within the premises of the compound. There's lots of wild vegetation and some wire fence delimiting the premises. H is with me now, he's doing something with an odd-looking metal door. I wait while he does this and look around. Then I see a mini-helicopter thing. It's right here next to us but they don't spot us right away, it's flying no more than a few feet off the ground and there's a military man riding on top of it, doing weird acrobatics involving the helicopter's blade. I tell H to look and we both greet the man casually. I was afraid he'd alert someone but he didn't.

      (transition)

      Then inside the helicopter, it's massive, impossibly big, but still low in terms of headroom. This military guy and the pilot are sitting on a cushioned bit and we're talking. They are about our age or younger, I think to myself how they don't seem very imposing even as military without their uniforms, as they are now in casual wear. I wake up at some point here.



      Notes:

      - This dream was incredibly long and many details are missing, including character interactions. The recall chronology was a bit off too somehow.
      - The themes in the dream seemed to mostly revolve around exploration and finding some kind of rare/valuable treasure, effectively.
    9. cli.

      by , 09-03-2020 at 12:24 AM
      Edit: Added in 16th August 2020

      Dream:

      The dream was a bit like Final Fantasy somehow. Had a cinematic-like presentation, long dream overall.

      At a mall with H, meeting up with my mom and dad. There are three bad guys around and we help local security deal with them. I remember a rectangular area of the mall, it had four escalators or six, two at each end (four in total) and then another two at the central area?

      Then I'm walking outside with H, we're holding our arms together. Some Australian guy appears and makes a remark of some kind? I get annoyed by it and I sort of snark at him but not too much, as he looks well built and I'd rather not get into a fight. He kind of goes quiet.

      We go for a wee? At some point the guy apologises, something about being gay being illegal in Australia; I accept his apology and say I understand that he has a different background.

      A girl? At a castle/mansion place. I remember the outside walls of some castle tower buildings, we were walking along them earlier. The girl is from an earlier part in the dream. I remember being bare foot and feeling cold tiles but not being bothered enough by it for me to mention it.



      18th August 2020

      Dream:

      At the end of the dream, me and H were using some kind of Matrix VR headset. Were we watching or maybe participating in a show of some kind?

      Then I remember being with H in my parents' old bedroom. We're both naked and we're sort of just lounging about? At one point, H starts getting aroused and we both get a bit silly, making jokes or something. I remember making a Scorpius impression.

      I remember running water. Some kind of device attached to a wall. It was leaky, or poorly sealed. Then I remember something else about MB and I was upset that he was lying to someone again, and then he was pretending he hadn't done anything.



      20th August 2020

      Dream (DFLN Thread):

      Part of a very long dream. Something about some dream characters, within some big building. A girl who tries to tackle me I think? I seem to remember the building wasn't finished or something, as I remember seeing a lot of bare concrete and open sections.

      I dodge the girl's tackle and she falls from three stories high, and she comes apart into several bloody pieces as she hits the floor, but the "tearing apart" seems to not correspond to the impact that had occurred, as it seems lethargic compared to the actual impact and fall.

      Several dream characters and small interactions with them? (Like what... Nicely detailed!)

      At some point I was in some very distorted version of my old home but with my current neighbours. At some point me and H are in a version of my old room.

      I remember hearing the neighbour scream like we've heard it in some mornings before but we mostly just ignored it this time. I also remember the lady from the old couple had someone over, and she was talking so loudly we could hear her voice clearly through walls.

      By the end of the dream I'm looking at the computer. I'm on my browser, on the usual art site. Dream-generated art from other artists and I remember commenting or interacting somehow. Something about an art piece focused on a giant maw and its teeth.

      Then I remember being on DV looking at my DJ and seeing that I got my Roman numerals numbering wrong somehow and in more than just a few entries. It makes me wonder in the dream, if I should rename them all and just scrap the idea.



      Notes:
      - Although I don't get them so much anymore I still sometimes have these dreams with MB in them. What surprises me a bit is that in the dreams I don't react violently to his presence. There's usually a context of normalcy, as if contact had never been broken but with the subtext that he'd still done something wrong.
      - I don't remember any details of the VR headset thing but it sounds interesting. It's reminding me now of some very ancient dreams I had in my childhood (before I even watched the Matrix, I think?).

      - The girl that falls to literal bits, this was probably partly brought on from playing KF, in which the enemies come apart when killed and in, I suppose, quite gruesome ways; though when playing I usually find this to be quite amusing because of the physics effects and sometimes the slow-mo effect makes it all the more amusing.
      - The thing about the DJ numerals has occurred to me before as passing thoughts while on DV and away from it too. I have had thoughts about how the system will become cumbersome when it reaches very high numbers.
      - The second dream, in the part where I was looking at art; this may have been part of a subconscious process that recently pushed me to trying to do something creative together with another artist. But as with the rest of my dreams on this recurring subject the focus is on interaction, a part I feel deeply deprived of quite often.

      - Also worth noting that I was a bit lax with my recall and DJ efforts for about a week, in good part because of schedules and also because of tiredness. I often find it frustrating when I want to make note of dreams while feeling physically incapable of it (fatigue, pain, etc).

      Updated 09-03-2020 at 05:20 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    10. cxlviii.

      by , 08-31-2020 at 01:49 AM
      8th August 2020 8:30

      Fragment (DFLN thread):

      Recall faded somewhat. Left too long before deciding to type.

      Was underwater, felt something like Conan:Exiles but overall it was a mixture of different things. (nice and specific as always... )

      A cutscene of an event? Something about having a wee, or reproducing? A giant blue or dark teal female-like character had phallic tentacles from their genital area and they wrapped them around me or my character and left some kind of "seed". (my visual recall of this seems to have faded, but I remember it was quite distinct)

      Then something similar happened again? But with a different creature. Then I remember being equally big and trying to protect some smaller spawn.

      A wave of zeds from KF appeared and I used my giant arms to simply swat them away as they swam closer?

      Some other part, going up in a lift in a rush after escaping while fighting. Remember using a shotgun in a first-person mode. As the lift made a stop, there was a character. A deer, or half-deer. Something about the hooves was important? I remember a divinely glow of some kind behind the character... But not sure now.

      Then, further along, inside a gigantic tree that had been planted earlier (when?) but could sort of see inside out or something when looking up, weird perspective stuff. A bit cinematic-y.

      Fragment:


      Drawing on tablet?



      8th August 2020 10:10

      Fragment:

      In the old kitchen at the old home. Something about mom making a deal, or promise? With me, or with dad, who was also in the room. There's some cooking going on, I was making something soupy, or sauce-like.

      In an earlier part of the dream, playing with H in some GTA or SR-like game. I remember using a very large tank that took up two lanes, and then eventually simply decided to spawn or summon a jet, like one from JC3, but I got a fighter by accident instead of a bomber like I meant to, but I just carried on and got in it. Went over some restricted zone and started shooting at generic henchmen. I remember a city and a lot of water. Maybe a bit futuristic.

      Fragment:

      Mixed/incomplete recall. My cousin T ate some little sweet thing. It did something to her behaviour and I think her sister was there too. Something about me babysitting or taking care of them? Weird dream place, vivid-ish colours.



      Notes:
      - For a while now me and H have been playing KF2 on and off together, the zeds were probably just a leak-through of that. But I haven't really played C:E in forever, but have thought about it.
      - Not sure what was the specific source for the giant characters. Need to make mental note to look through old sketches.
      - The deer character was an unusual appearance. I think it was partly precipitated by the interactions I've had with Occipitalred here on DV. Deer-type animals are not the type I give a lot of conscious attention, though I did paint a deer character some six weeks ago (at the time of writing this).
      - The "mistake" of summoning the wrong jet is of particular significance for me because in JC3 I got very used to flying the more sluggish bomber and really pushing it to its limits.

      Updated 09-01-2020 at 02:00 PM by 95293

      Categories
      side notes , non-lucid , dream fragment
    11. cvi.

      by , 03-31-2020 at 04:11 PM
      Dreams for the mornings of 26th, 27th and 31st of March. 26th and 27th enclosed in spoiler to reduce general length of the DJ entry.

      The last few days I have had decent dream recall from morning awakenings but I have felt too tired to make initial notes for them (28th,29th,30th). Sleep has been unusual for this past week, keep getting up too late despite several normal awakening times but might be starting to improve again.



      26th:

      Spoiler for 26th content:


      27th:

      Spoiler for 27th content:


      31st:

      I had some sort of pre-sleep half-dream. I was starting to "paint" with just my mind (telekinetically) and was having ideas for a new painting and what I might paint next in my art room.

      Dream:

      I was in Sweden. I was with one or both of my Swedish friends and we were in their metro system. The stations were tall and spacious, but what really caught my attention was the shapes of the architectural structure. A lot of long and abstract shapes (just the kind of thing I'd like to build with concrete) and all of the stations we went through were mostly concrete, which I think my friends disliked. I think I liked it despite the lack of colour just because of the shapes.

      The stations were very well lit and quite busy. I remember we went through one station on the train and there were small island platforms with crossings between them that went down on the rail level, which seemed to imply a high degree of self-responsibility from people.

      Another part of the dream or a different dream, I was trying to get to or from university?

      Dream Fragment:

      Something like the cities game I've played recently, but mixed with actually travelling through the city. I was trying to manage some sort of power dams, three of them to be exact, and they were using water from a mountain like a custom map I made in WL that had a dormant volcano lake.

      There were some flow issues eventually, especially because the water was getting completely drained by the dams and this disrupted where it wanted to flow; the water from the source started making its own way in opposite directions and this annoyed me.

      Dream Fragment:

      In some kind of office. I remember the typical fake ceiling and light fittings. It must have been afternoon; there was a nice and golden light coming in through blinds that covered the windows. The dream focus was on two characters. A stereotypical "madame" and her butler. She wanted to check if she had won some prize with this organisation which did travel tours as rewards? She was obviously naive with her direct interactions with people and the world. Someone representing the organisation felt a bit odd and sinister.



      Notes:
      - The pre-sleep state was interesting because it was like what I used to get as a child, just not as strong. It came on very subtly and on its own.
      - That state's content was a conscious decision, because I quickly understood that I was more creatively receptive at this stage compared to normal thought, just a shame I didn't interrupt it to make any notes about the painting ideas.
      - I was a bit disappointed to not have made notes about the sex dream right after it had happened. In the last few days during the first morning awakenings I have dreams with great recall and think to myself of short word descriptions for the dreams so that I can remember them even if I fall asleep but this technique hasn't worked very much so in conclusion I really need to just write down dreams as soon as I can if I'm likely to fall asleep again.
    12. ciii.

      by , 03-23-2020 at 12:33 PM
      Two dreams from this morning.



      Dream:

      Don't remember the start of the dream really but I was seeing some pictures in a news article, I think on a newspaper. It was about two men and a woman who had returned to Earth after being in outer space, and they were being praised for their survival.

      It seemed odd because I thought this to be a fairly routine thing and there was no subtext of an accident having occurred or anything.
      Spoiler for Possibly gorey/graphic:


      Dream Fragment:

      I was in a town, don't know it from anywhere in waking life but it had the typical look of towns from my native country. It had a characteristic path that in the dream's context was commonplace for me to use. The path went up to and across a small water area that was quite deep, the only way to cross it was on some rickety wooden beams. The water looked murky but clear at the same time, and I wasn't afraid of falling in, finding myself much more concerned with the fact that I realised that recently the beams had been moved and had to be adjusted now before I could cross.

      I saw an old lady across from the water, she was carrying some shopping home and didn't look my way, but I heard her muttering that she wished her grandma would stop moving the beams. I had a passing thought of asking her to confront her grandma so it wouldn't happen again, but I didn't.

      The dream went on for a while but I don't remember any details apart from the fact that it had something to do with aunts from my mom's side and my siblings.




      Notes:

      - The first dream was quite unusual in its content and my sense of location was more inside the pictures than where I actually was reading this article from. This morning was disrupted by loud construction work at 7AM so maybe that had something to do with it.
      - The general plot of that dream may simply have come because I've been watching some medical dramas recently, although there has been nothing in them quite like this.
      - I'm remembering that the second dream took place during day time but everything looked particularly grey and overcast.
    13. xc.

      by , 02-27-2020 at 10:37 AM
      Over the last two days or so I haven't been able to either retain dream memories or make note of them for multiple reasons. I do still have some scraps of memories left so maybe writing those out would be a good idea.


      Scrap, two days ago:

      In the kitchen. There's a fluffy, sort of orange coloured spider thing? It's in the thing that holds loose leaf tea for brewing, maybe it's dead or not but it looked crammed in it. It's in the sink anyway, and I turn the tap on and water pours on it.

      The fur absorbs the water and it gets a lot bigger. In the dream this spooks me, mostly because it was unexpected, but then it somehow becomes a bit sexual as I decide in the dream that I shouldn't be afraid of it and I show it my naked bottom, but it felt like it was partially a taunt of some kind too. I don't remember any other details except that the dream started to sort of distort, weird colours.

      Scrap, one day ago:

      The dream just seemed to be a Johnny Bravo cartoon or something. I just remember some really crude scene where there was a woman with her breasts bare and Johnny made a crude remark in surprise.

      Scrap, today:

      Lots of being outside. Day time mostly, but kind of grey. Was in a van at several points? Maybe helping H. Memory of the dream has faded more than I expected. It felt like it was a long dream sequence.


      Some notes:

      - The dream with the spider was odd. Mostly, it made me realise that while I have largely gotten over my phobia of spiders, there are still plenty of types of spider that I wouldn't commonly see in waking life, simply because they don't exist here and I think that seeing these different kinds might still make me jump a bit more than seeing the ones that do exist around here. The instinctual behaviour of getting spooked by spiders never seems to have really abandoned me even though I got over my phobia, but perhaps it's also a sign that there's still more that can be done about it.
      - The sexual part of that dream probably relates to how I've realised in the past that positive emotional association can be helpful when dealing with phobia-type stuff.
      - Not sure what brought on the cartoon dream, as I haven't watched that specific cartoon at all in over 10, maybe 15 years?
      - Today's dream had an overarching plot to it, but I can't remember any specific detail anymore that would let me expand on the dream's detail.
    14. lxxxix.

      by , 02-24-2020 at 05:30 PM
      Morning of 23rd of Feb.


      Dream Fragment:

      Not sure where to start. I was in a church, but I remember a feel of RTS game to things and I was preparing an assault on the priest or something. Details are missing. Then I was ready and water appeared and partially flooded the church? Previously, me and someone else had replaced the trousers the priest was going to wear. Then the water was more like bed covers or something.

      Eventually this bit is over and I'm outside walking around. I walk on cobbled streets, meant for pedestrian use only. I reach some place like a parking lot. Mom is there for whatever reason.

      She starts telling me off about the trousers thing with the priest. She tells me all about how he can't get out of bed easily now and how depressed and sad he is... He has to call for a bucket of boiling water to be poured on his legs to get up each morning? I remember that scene vaguely, visually.

      Apparently he can't feel them anymore either. I think it's all a bit ridiculous, just because he was without his trousers for a while in a cold church...

      Mom and I get into an argument of sorts. She won't see reason and how there's something weird about priests story. I ask rhetorically "how miserable can he be, with his fancy BMW" but she gives me the old "money isn't happiness" crap. I comment "good riddance" if the priest doesn't return to the church, because he had a monotone voice that made his sermons completely boring, regardless of how interesting they actually were.

      Eventually we can't agree on anything and mom gets into this old and grey VW van? I walk away and put my hood up. At this point I'm keenly aware of what I'm wearing. My working trousers, my old cream hoodie and my black boots.

      I feel moody after the argument and walk back from where I cam from on the wide cobbled paths. Some teens are about, up to no good I feel. I feel moody and I am aware of my face doing that thing where I look so grumpy that I just end up looking nasty and violent to anyone who sees me.

      I message H on my phone, which feels bigger than it actually should be. My message is about mom and how it felt like she was being unreasonable. While messaging I am distracted and I take the wrong turn. I see a barrier of some kind along the path and a kid's park beyond it. I feel annoyed. In the dream I knew this wasn't the way and turn back around and cross some bridge.

      The surroundings are odd along these paths. It's like an old town area but there are no buildings properly speaking? Just some walls, not even building walls. A transition?

      I am back at the church. I realise it's more like a chapel really. There's a service and the priest is nowhere to be seen. There's a small black man. It almost looks like he suffers from some form of dwarfism. People in the church aren't paying full attention because they are reading something on the pews about the priest's current/latest condition.

      The small man invites me to stay, and I nod or something. I try to find somewhere I feel comfortable about sitting. When I do sit, he starts singing. He has a beautiful and sort of deep voice, much more than I'd expect for how small he is. I think to myself how I'd much prefer to see him all the time at the services, over that priest.

      Then everything finishes, and we're outside. I find the priest at some stairs going into an underground area, where I was going to leave through. The priest is wearing what looks to be an overly warm coat, even for a cold day and he seems to be pretty much fine in terms of his health.

      For whatever reason, an old school friend of mine is in the tunnel too, but I see him as if I'd see him every day. But he's carrying some stuff, including a toolbox like H has. I give him a hand and bring the toolbox. We quicken our pace and move away from the group of people behind us. I want to tell him something about what's been going on, but I forget what it was.

      Some transition again. I'm at the priest's house for some reason. He and his wife are there. They're not aware of my presence? They talk about how their plan worked and how they could now swap hairstyles or something. It didn't make much sense at all even in the dream, but I felt it proved I was right about something weird going on with the priest.



      No notes for now.
    15. lxxxiv.

      by , 02-14-2020 at 12:32 PM
      Some fragments. Recall seemed better for the second and third dreams on waking up.



      Dream Fragment:


      I was in the kitchen. It was a bit dark but not night time. Like very early morning just after sun rise, and with the blinds rolled down. I remember standing by the fridge, naked I think? I remember seeing my feet and legs. For some reason, I could hear in my head what I thought at the time to be a theme song for the TV show called Roswell, a show I never watched myself, but I know of it. I don't actually remember what that music sounded like but it seemed familiar in the dream, in a way that makes me think that it had nothing to do with that show, but I'll have to try and find it after writing this DJ.

      Wedged between the fridge and the counter it is adjacent to, I remember noticing one of the wooden grave markers H's dad was working on yesterday when we went there. The cross was upside down and it looked like we had just shoved it in there in a hurry to make some room in the kitchen. The fridge is a fridge on top and freezer on the bottom and I remember seeing the logo somewhat distinctly in the dream.

      No idea how this dream went on or ended.

      Dream Fragment:

      I was entering some sort of supermarket, it felt like it was underground. There were quite a few people here, seemed like a popular place. Looked a bit like the cheap supermarket I go to but for whatever reason my old friend from university, R, was walking along with me. We both had a trolley.

      I was very confused by the layout, first there were mostly energy drinks and then soft drinks. I think I commented on them being crap but I also felt hungry more than anything else. We continued on and eventually we got to a very odd bit, where I had to watch what other people were doing to understand. There was like a sort of circular checkpoint thing that we had to go into in queues. I grabbed some big and fresh looking pears I spotted to my right, and apparently some bananas too. I knew immediately the pears would be sweet, as I prefer them, and not at all wooden. There were some fake metal barriers to enforce queues.

      I got to the centre of this checkpoint thing. There was a woman on a swivel chair? She was wearing a cap but had curled hair tucked into it or something. She was in the middle of this four-section rounded island with shop scanner things on each of the four sections. I remember giving her the fruits or placing them down on the metal/glass surface.

      She scanned the fruit somehow and I continued off away from the checkpoint thing.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some kind of mix of GTA and other games like Deus Ex. I remember being on a completely unknown city and having a map divided into levels, like there used to be in Zelda's dungeons. 1F,2F, etc.

      There were some ghoul like enemies at some point and a UDamage pickup, which when I tried getting, some quick imp or rat thing got it and scurried off.

      I remember being on some sort of snow bike and using a turbo mode that activated an orange energy saw and killing some of these ghouls. This was an enclosed area, with many narrow paths and with an underground feel to it. At the end of it I found a portal marked by an inverse encircled pentagram, which was a path to hell. I decided to not go through yet but would come back to it when I felt stronger.

      Then I was outside and it was night time. Everything was brightly lit. I remember fighting some guys at a bridge over a wide channel of water that looked like it had very strong currents, as it was quite foamy and uneven.

      Much earlier in the dream there was an area of sort of open field but I don't really remember any details. Too tired to write much more.



      Notes:
      - I'm not entirely sure what prompted the appearance of both the cross and the pentagram (both inverted) in two separate dreams, but yesterday H's dad was making about twelve of these cross-shaped grave markers. I remember asking if they were consecrated or blessed in any way once they were done. I was told that there's no point, since they are just temporary markers. This might account for the marker's appearance in my dream, as I had some interest in them since he was basically working on them all day and we were there for most of it.

      - The third dream was a mix of many, many games, far too many to actually describe in reasonable detail. But the part with the UDamage and the inverted pentagram was most definitely based mostly on: DOOM, Daikatana and Unreal (Tournament). All of these have some themes in common, but the game engines are also all quite similar in some aspects. Hell and unholy motifs such as ghouls are closely related to DOOM of course and they also feature in UT. Some time ago I was working on a cathedral level for UT, but abandoned the project due to its complexity for my current skill level. The level featured an underground hellish portal that would take players to the top of the level.

      - The Christian-type symbols probably also made their appearances because last night I spent a fair bit of time speaking to H about how I have often felt, and often still feel, because of my constant pain issues. There is a somewhat subconscious link between pain and some version of hell, for me.

      - In the second dream, I seem to remember R was wearing his typical leather jacket. I don't remember seeing his face much in the dream.

      - In that same dream, many of the dream characters seemed to be some type or another of friends or acquaintances I used to have. My mom appeared in that dream at some point, near the end, along with some dreamed up ogre-like uncle of some kind.

      Updated 02-14-2020 at 12:56 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
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