• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccclxxxv. Alien collective invades, Questioning if I'm really me

      by , 05-26-2022 at 05:10 PM
      2022 May 9th

      Some in-line notes.

      7:50
      Fragment:
      (woke up sweating, vivid long dream)
      Some build-up or something; there are aliens and we are fighting them off as a whole, but only just barely so. It's revealed these aliens are just a scouting party and they are part of a larger conglomerate of alien species. During the dream I see several different scenes just as an observer.

      Meanwhile, there's chaos as a human leader, a woman with short hair, declares that nobody has rights anymore, and that we are moving into a new era beyond our conventional conception of rights. She sounds or seems delusional in some way. I think I saw her give this announcement on some TV thing, but just as an observer.

      Then I'm in a town, outside. There's a modern feel to the area and the previous announcement had been broadcast on the radio, though I didn't hear this myself as a character.

      There's an RPG element to reality but it feels absolutely real in every other way.

      I survive an attack and fight my way into some place. I am constantly chased by aliens or possibly their machines. Eventually, I use some fast-travel mechanic. Once at my destination, I meet up with a friendly robot. It explains that this worm thing has moved to the edge of reality, it looks like a Combine alien. (In retrospect this whole bit makes me think of the original Dune film)

      Normally, reality moves independently of what's in it. But being at the edge curves reality and causes this high pitch noise to be heard throughout the entire dream. And now, in it's current state, reality moves with the contents. This means there's a very big danger to existence itself and all this chaos makes it worse to deal with. (This segment made no sense at all after waking, but during the dream everything seemed to make sense; there were implied laws of reality that were taken for granted and the whole thing had a semi-mystical aspect to it)

      10:15
      Fragment:
      (most of recall lost for needing to answer door)

      In one bit, I'm this woman, a diver, and I'm coming out of some water into a house or apartment through the floor. It's night time or the house is dark, some lights are on. I'm sort of on the floor, tummy down. A TV is in front of me. I think to myself, "am I actually myself?" and then, just as I'm about to do a reality check with my hands, this other woman with curly hair comes out of a doorframe, smiles at me and we start talking. We know each other as characters. At this point I think to myself that I like her body. I still try to do the reality check, but because of the conversation and social setting, I end up not focusing enough on my reality check.
    2. ccclxxxi. A strange dream-life

      by , 05-07-2022 at 02:16 PM
      2022 May 2nd

      Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

      Some in-line notes.


      Dream (Fragmented):

      I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

      Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

      (recall gap)

      I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

      I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

      (The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

      I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

      As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

      Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

      Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

      As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

      Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

      Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

      (recall gap)

      Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


      Notes:

      - Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

      - This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

      - I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
      -- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
      -- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

      - The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

      - I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

      - The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
      -- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

      - Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

      - The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

      - The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.
    3. cccxlii. Growing woman, something about dreaming, Ed Edd n Eddy segment

      by , 01-09-2022 at 01:50 AM
      20th October 2021

      Some in-line bracketed notes. Was too tired to properly write down initial notes on recall.

      Fragment:

      Growing female dream character, an NPC of some kind. She's white, her hair is not black but it's dark and tied back. I have to watch over her for a while to make sure I get points correctly for some reason. She is or gets to about three or four times my size. We're in water, or floating in the air?

      Before that, there was more going on in the same area, something about a dream thing? (Intrusion from "Dream Academy" related PM by MoonageDaydream, I really regretted not being able to hold on to this part of recall.)

      Even earlier, something about Ed Edd 'n Eddy (the cartoon); I'm talking to someone but seeing/watching the cartoon too? I mention that some of my interest in growth themes probably comes from watching cartoons like this. Some appropriately themed scene plays out in the cartoon, involving Edd mostly, I think. (I remember on waking considering how he was often a thematically unwilling victim, even in a case like this that might be "empowering").
    4. cccxxiii. Being invited for a meal, visit to the Arab water cities

      by , 09-07-2021 at 10:39 AM
      31st August 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm with someone I know, maybe H. We're in a building and a dream character arrives and he's like a cousin of the other person or something. There's something going on but then this dream character, a white man in his forties, invites me to have a drink or dinner with him at a nearby place. I agree with some reluctance because I didn't want to get away from here but I'm also enthusiastic as I think about how he'll likely be paying for the meal too.

      A bit later, I'll supposedly drive myself to the place but my car isn't so much a car as it is a light frame with pedals. I also never manage to control it very well, especially the clutch and gear stick, which sticks up from the outer right side.

      (recall gap)

      Something about Arab cities and water. Implied desert region. There's a flowing water source that's important to the region and around which much is determined. There's a lot of insect life around and I feel bothered by it, but the locals don't? There are some scenes around this part that seem to mix different points of view, from above or far away. I have some perception of these cities being coastal and at the deltas of rivers.
    5. ccxviii. Underwater space and Discord messaging, Adventure group at some ruins

      by , 08-29-2021 at 03:56 PM
      16th August 2021

      Left recall too long. Some in-line notes.

      Scraps:

      Some bit that initially takes place underwater but then it becomes more space-like, in a seamless way.

      RT messaging me on Discord. (but about what?)



      17th August 2021

      Fragment:

      (near the middle of a dream)

      I'm in some kind of space station (implied) but it's also like a hotel. A character that looks like Major Kira (DS9) lives here but some other characters she knows are unaware (of the fact that she lives here?). Something fast-paced is taking place.

      There was something else relating to me, but details gone.

      (some later segment)

      Outside at some ruins. It's dusk or something alike. There's a forest, maybe a pine forest. (I'm vaguely reminded of Hunger Games scenery, which I think at the time of this dream I saw MoonageDaydream had mentioned somewhere). I'm in a party group with MoonageDaydream and a random dream character. Moonage is separate from us at first, but then she comes to find us when I spot two solid chests (WoW) and tell the group to roll for the chests. I pass on rolling; I see the random DC's roll in a chat log.

      Another three-person group approaches us. They take one of the chests, which I find annoying; I don't think we can do anything about it because they're not hostile. I think we guard the other chest until Moonage arrives, because it would be hers to loot I think. (On waking I realised it would have been a better option to open the chest without auto-looting and keeping it open until she got there)

      (When I first spot the chests I think I wonder why I didn't have my treasure finding racial on. And all of this segment took place in first person but with UI elements present.)
    6. cccxvii. False position, sword in the water

      by , 08-29-2021 at 03:46 PM
      14th August 2021

      Had several long dreams but recall became very fragmented.

      Fragment:

      In a tower or castle of sorts. I have a position of power or influence, but whenever I try to get anything done find that my position is just a facade and a farce. At some point I'm in a treasure room of sorts. There are illuminated displays (did I mean display pedestals/stands?).

      Then another bit, something about a sword in water, in a sea but nearer the coast. Looks a bit like Azshara. The sword is unique in some way and belonged to a female character?



      Notes:

      - I think the sword thing and possibly female character may relate to thinking of conversations I'd had with OccipitalRed. The dream theme reminds me of some medieval trope (Warcraft is a medieval-style fantasy too) and the water/sea most likely relate to their non-conscious symbolic aspects.
      -- Interestingly I associate Azshara both with the land of that name and with female Naga in general. There's a lot of close associative linking going on here.

      - At the time of the dream, the position I had in the dream seemed relevant to something relating to waking life, but I cannot recall what anymore.
    7. cccxiv. Underground cult

      by , 08-05-2021 at 06:41 PM
      4th August 2021

      Poor recall, didn't feel particularly motivated to write initial notes either.

      Fragment:

      First I'm in some kind of hidden little place. It reminds me of a chapel. Arabesque. There's a woman and she helps me in some way? I stop some psycho in our midst from killing someone because I already knew he was going to try something, as I saw a hidden blade in his hand, but I wait until I can catch him in the act.

      There's some context of a cult. Cho'Gall makes a brief appearance, we speak or maybe I eavesdrop, not sure. At some point I'm getting ready to leave and everyone is wishing me goodbye. I have a lot of things to carry, two backpacks and some other items, plus my old boots to carry in my hand because I'd put away my newer ones in the backpack by mistake. I feel pressed so decided I should swap them later on.

      (gap)

      I'm outside, at the entrance to that place. It's a little secluded cove bit, with sand, water and so on. It's sort of below a bigger hotel complex that is on top of a reinforced hill. (certain aspects remind me of old home but details are gone)

      At some point, I start jumping from place to place, over the water. I find some secret collectible books and think that they are quite obvious finds and that they need to try harder. At the edge of town(?) or something, there are some ancient ruins, half Greek, half Elvish. On some level, I dismiss this as part of an asset mismatch or incorrect loading (as if this was part of a game).

      (another dream later on but recall was lost)



      Notes:

      - It's peculiar that Cho'Gall appeared in the dream. He's not a character I've ever had any particular attraction to but also not an unmemorable character for me. Considering his intellect in lore, I feel that his symbolic meaning may relate to brutish wisdom or some part of hidden wisdom, a concept a bit reinforced by the fact that he is a cult leader, both in this dream and during certain events in WoW lore (i.e. Cataclysm for one?).

      - There was something familiar to the architecture both of the hotel and the "hidden" chapel place, reminds me of some hotels I remember we stayed at when I was a kid.
    8. cccx. Survival island

      by , 07-30-2021 at 01:37 AM
      28th July 2021

      Several bits around the same theme of survival.

      Fragment:

      I'm watching a video, or TV broadcast. It's about a survival show on a large island. They're saying "in our previous show only a few survivors could manage to scratch a living but now up to seven million tribals will be competing!", something like that. There's this image super-imposed over a panning view of a tropical island. The super-imposed image is an idle animation of some white tribals posing together, forming a sort of pyramidal composition as is often seen in group photos. I think to myself that the older existing tribes won't take kindly to such a number of newcomers.

      I also think to myself that I'd rather be there myself, playing, rather than just watching TV.

      (transition or recall gap, chronology got messed up in recording the dream)

      I'm on a sandy and sunny beach, it's near noon judging by the sun. I later become aware that to my left there is a jungle or forest area and further left and close-by is a ruined town or city. I came out of some kind of drop pod and I see someone else who just has too. I'm not sure whether or not I should trust someone else at this point.

      Then some raptors about our own size appear and they start harassing each of us. I hit them with something and try to grasp them by the neck and try to twist and break them. I possibly kill one or two and help the other person out, a woman. Then when we're in close proximity, one of the raptors is trying to steal something from me, and it succeeds. I try to catch the raptor and it behaves like a cheeky dog and I may be slightly annoyed. The woman recommends I let go and don't bother chasing the animal. I eventually let go and the raptor stops being cheeky and just ruins off into the ruined city.

      (recall gap)

      Still with the same woman? She needs to send an e-mail to someone and I know there aren't many places where she can do that, here. We go into a building that I was in before at some point in the dream. Inside, it's dark. Lots of dark brown colour, like rust. There are many mechanical mechanisms and there are a few desktop computers set up in a cramped corridor.

      There are many things here that I know to have been set up by H in the dream. I sit at some chair or something in front of a computer. I'm trying to change the plugs around back so that she can use this old Windows 95 machine, because I still don't fully trust her and figure that this way she won't be able to release any viruses intentionally, or accidentally. For some reason I'm struggling with the plugs. The video connection coming out of the W95 machine is almost like a USB but the shape is slightly different and won't fit into the even weirder input shape on the other computer, or screen.

      I eventually give up and just let her use the normal computer, feeling that I can trust her just enough anyway.

      (recall gap)

      Something about another building or another part of this same building. There's some small weird water gremlin bug thing... In actuality it looks a bit like a grey coloured shrimp but in the dream I think of it as crayfish. I am nervous around it because it moves erratically and I don't like its look and the look of its "whiskers".



      Notes:

      - The next day, I was using some Firewire stuff with H to set up a microphone for me to use. At the time, that made me think of the USB-like plugs in the dream, because Firewire is not too different in the physical look of the ends and its intended purpose is similar anyway.

      - My nervousness around the grey creature was related both to shallow standing water in that area and also to the residual feelings of fright or jump-scare I still get from, for example, some arachnids.
      -- I do not particularly like shrimp, neither in look or smell, though I can't say I recall their taste. I always thought they looked a bit too "bug"-like to eat, despite their popularity in my native region.

      - I had to look up crayfish because I couldn't actually remember what they looked like; the dream creature really didn't resemble them.
    9. ccxcii. Underwater fights, Triangular package, Quiet beach

      by , 06-29-2021 at 03:28 PM
      Some in-line notes in brackets.

      27th June 2021

      Scraps:

      Unrecorded. Something about being underwater and there's a giant ghostly crab and an equal sized ghostly shark or something. There are underwater buildings, regular city buildings, but inside they are mostly empty? After this dream, I remember thinking about how "being in water, is to fly" or something of the sort making a comparison of the two states. (I have no special interest in dream flight that doesn't use some kind of device or body part to accomplish it, though I do like swimming quite a lot.)

      (This dream had a general nature of conflict or dispute and seemed to take place in an original location)



      28th June 2021

      (recall not written down on waking but later on this day)

      Fragment:

      At home. A courier is putting something through the letterbox. I approach and he's actually putting his hand through the letterbox now and trying to pull the triangular package back towards him through the opening. (The package was bigger than the opening but it looked stiff, not bendable)

      The letterbox is lower down than it should be and the door seems to be see-through actually. As I come to open the door, first opening the foyer door I think, I find that the front door is simply not there anymore. I or the courier grab the package and I ask if he has to take it back because of it being batteries or something. (possibly intrusion from looking at batteries online, the night before?) He gives me some explanation accordingly but then decides to leave it with me after all.

      Fragment:

      There was more before this but no recall. Arriving at a sea-side area, possibly by car. I'm with someone, H? There's a sandy beach where I expected loads of people would be and when I see it's mostly empty, the other person tells me "see, I told you so" or something. The beach is between a six or so story tall fortification on the left, typical sea-side fort look to it, at least for the style I'm used to. On the right, the road slopes up at slow incline and there's some other building on the side of the beach.

      I end up going into that building? No recall of the inside anymore. Something about two muscular women (like Klingons but not?) and I don't get along with them for some reason. I leave this building by a door on the beach level, like a back or access door. The beach isn't quite there anymore, like there's more water now. It's sunny through the entire dream segment.

      (Shadow positioning suggests that the sea is West, the fort South, the second building North and the road I came from (but never looked toward) is East)
    10. cclxxvii. Not properly washed, Night in my hometown

      by , 05-31-2021 at 10:19 PM
      31st May 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm at a distorted version of the old home. The house is partly blended with a supermarket freezer aisle and a classroom, I think this is at the end of a dream segment that took place in a supermarket-like location. I'm nude in the bathroom and washing my hands. From a long distance away, I see JC (through a mirror?) jeering at me, saying I spend a lot of time washing my hands but that I still manage to do it so poorly. I find this comment hurtful because R (the tall one with the short curly hair) is next to me and agreeing with JC. I dry my hands, kind of poorly because of the towel, not taking away all the moisture.

      I leave the bathroom and I'm in the corridor, it's more like the rest of how the house should be now. There's something about ice creams, some Magnums. There are two on the floor of the corridor against a skirting board, seems like someone is keeping them here to save them for later. I think about how they won't keep very well here. On closer look they're not wrapped anymore, and their outer chocolate shells are cracked. I try and fiddle but only make it worse. I leave them be and go to my room, which would actually be L's room.

      Fragment:

      (earlier dream) I'm in my home town, like I've just returned after years. It's night time and I just left the house for some reason (emotional?) and I walk down to the shopping centre area. The path is more direct than it would be in waking life, the road goes right through where the parish church should be.

      At the front of the shopping centre, it's really well lit but mostly by phosphor street lights. I see some groups of people just idling about, chatting. A lot of them, I notice are people I knew from school, though some of them are black kids that used to make fun of me (M, R, are ones I remember). Unusually, I feel apprehensive over this, I think because there's so many people but I walk past them without being bothered, though I think people stare at me? This is the bit right in front of the bank, between the small substation building, said building is replaced in the dream by a ramp going underground (coming from the main road, the roundabout?).

      I turn left since it's the corner. This bit that should be road and car parking spots is all limestone cobbled path. I see MM and I walk past I say hello and wave at him, almost in his face, but he doesn't hear or see me, doesn't acknowledge me. He's coming out through some glass sliding doors. I don't look inside but there's a bright cool light in there. Makes me think or feel of an airport.

      I keep walking towards the open end of that underground ramp. Now I see D. I say hello to him too and he greets me back, we start talking. I ask him if he saw MM over there and he did, commenting something about him. We go down into the ramp, there's a sort of seamless transition and we're in a subway station. It's vast, more than almost any I can recall in waking life but it is like others I've dreamed of. It is well lit and there is a lot of concrete and some metal accents.

      There's a fair amount of people around? I get the impression it's quite late but I don't know or see the time at any point. I talk with D all the way as we walk, but sadly I can't recall what about.



      Notes:

      - I dreamed of D only recently. In the past when I've dreamed of him or the other D, it has usually been linked with personal relationship in some sense. Both D and MM were two of my only true childhood friends, but at the same time, I ended up eventually feeling abandoned and disconnected from both too. Besides from relationships and from family, I don't think I ever felt friendship like theirs again, at least so far anyway, though at several points I have hoped that people I have met would become friends like they had been.

      - In the dream it was as though MM was seeing past me, like he was aware of my presence but not acknowledging me. I remember he was standing still as I walked past whilst greeting him, expecting he would say something, at which point I would have stopped.

      - The point at which I felt apprehensive about continuing on past the groups in front of the shopping centre was mostly a form of social anxiety that I haven't really had too much of in my adult life. On some level, I was afraid of being mocked. The other dream fragment also relates to some aspect of this.

      - For the past few nights I keep trying to think about dreaming, lucidity and even previous dreams, but my mind always ends up drifting off and before I know it, it's morning. But I manage to recall most of my thoughts and moments prior to falling asleep fairly well.
    11. cclvii. City of cathedrals, Investigation, Concrete sewers and undead rabbits

      by , 04-23-2021 at 09:57 PM
      23rd April 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on.

      The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them.

      (recall gap)

      Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something.

      (gap)

      A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room.

      At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it.

      The room has a cold and dim light or ambience.



      Notes:

      Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy:

      Updated 04-23-2021 at 09:58 PM by 95293 (grammar)

      Categories
      dream fragment , side notes , non-lucid
    12. ccxxxiii. Nature visit, soil lab

      by , 03-02-2021 at 03:58 PM
      27th February 2021

      Fragment:


      (was a long dream but only recalled bits and pieces)

      Me, H, J and S; we're all meeting up at some rocky place. They parked their car in a small rocky alcove, I think we go and see the car?

      As they found out, it was wet and the bottom part of their car is getting too wet. In this semi-flat rocky area there are some waves of pure and clear water, not more than an inch high. The area is slightly sloped down away from the rocky alcove bit but the small waves of water still climb with ease.

      I talked to J about it and we discuss the underground water tables. I don't remember getting wet or feeling wet from standing in the shallow water.

      Then something about us driving elsewhere. J was in their own car and we were in ours. H gives me his phone so I can text her if needed. But I suggest it may not be a good idea since she'll be driving too. (S was seemingly gone from the dream at this point?)

      During the drive, I think we discuss food and how we should maybe stop for lunch somewhere along the way. I think we were going to but then we don't? I know that we do go past a place and I mention this and H remarks with "well, too late now" as we drive past.

      We arrive at a lab of some sort. They do advanced soil analysis here? We get into a conflict with the personnel because they are apparently doing something evil.

      There's a mini turret that tries to shoot at us but me and H approach it covertly and work to disable it. I end up simply disconnecting the neutral cable, not fully expecting it to work, but it does.

      I think we then confront some of the personnel/research team.
    13. ccxvii. Daikatana marshes, Art anxieties, Nobody wearing a mask

      by , 01-26-2021 at 08:03 PM
      25th January 2021

      Fragment:

      Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

      I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

      26th January 2021


      Dream:

      I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

      Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

      There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

      I feel disappointed, or hurt.

      Dream:

      I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

      I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

      I can't recall where we go or end up.



      Notes:
      - Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
      -- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

      - The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

      Updated 01-26-2021 at 08:09 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    14. ccviii. School stuff and a brief rampage

      by , 01-11-2021 at 05:31 PM
      11th January 2021

      Dream:

      At a school. For whatever reason, it has headstones on its gardens like a church yard would. I'm in a classroom initially, banal stuff happens. Not sure what the class/lecture is. Feels like school from when I was between age 10-15.

      Eventually, a second teacher comes in. A black woman, she smiles a lot and seems friendly. She sits next to me on my left at my desk. I notice she has extremely short hair, not unlike my own haircut in waking life right now but her hair is curly. Her skin tone itself is very dark but not the darkest I've ever seen.

      She smiles and we talk about some forms I was supposed to have filled. It was some kind of evaluation or assessment, I remember doing bits of it beforehand. There's this page with a table layout and she asks if we should go from there. She's sort of... half on a phone line with someone at the same time? That other person can hear our conversation but I don't remember hearing them.

      At some point, I notice we're outside, still sitting at the same desk. As we're going through the page, because of the way she explains some things, it becomes obvious to me that what little I'd done was not fully correct and my assumptions about the column headers were erroneous.

      I have some vague recall that it was an assessment about my physical symptoms.

      It's kind of a perfect day; sunny outside with a very light amount of distant clouds. I feel or notice the tufty grass under where we're sitting.

      She gets another call, or someone comes? and tells her that she's going to be suspended from work. Apparently, she forgot (and I didn't know) that we were violating the rights of the dead, by blocking the space between them and the sky. She's not phased by this and smiles politely but genuinely. This other party berates me and tells me I'll be failing this class. I feel sad and start sobbing.

      The black lady leads and accompanies me into one of the school halls. Dark and unlit, except for a reflecting glow from outside.

      I ask her, in my native language and in anger and crying, "why is there such a stupid rule?". I feel frustrated and say whatever else comes to mind, and I say "it's a pointless rule!" as I walk toward a window. From a first-floor (we were on a ground floor a moment ago but I didn't notice this) window I see the tightly packed headstones and ask "why the hell does a school even have graves on its grounds?!" and I think I walk back to her and we walk together a little bit.

      She's about to say something and I try to stop sobbing and I say "I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" and I feel that the suspension she's getting is completely unfair. She smiles again and tells me something, also talking about her suspension though before she can manage to comfort me I feel myself running away, still angry and confused at everything that had just happened.

      I'm not on the school grounds anymore and I'm running angrily and aimlessly through a city street wide enough for six cars. Three buses following behind each other are coming my way, slowly, but I make no effort to avoid them at first. I think about how I could die crushed by one and nobody would care, but before I get too close, I preserve myself and avoid getting trapped or run over but in a blind anger I swing my arms at them, trying to hit the back plating. I continue running down the street in my emotional state with some awareness of people around looking at me a little.

      The street slopes downwards and is in the shade of a large and tall building to the left. As the street continues down it has an edge and beyond that in the distance I see the rest of this massive city lit by sunlight, on a sort of cylindrical slope or half-tube. It's an amazing cityscape but I don't even make an effort to appreciate this during the dream.

      (later, or after waking up and falling asleep again while thinking about how I would like to be lucid and would like to anger an Olympian god)

      I'm in a dark house. There's a door leading to a basement with vehicles and I want to take a bomber jet. Mom is in this first room and tells me that dad took something out for a ride but as I approach the door he comes through it and lets me know that I can't use what I was wanting to, just right now. I seemingly don't care too much and go through anyway and get on a "mini" battleship, no bigger than a small van.

      I take it out and immediately I'm in some kind of combat adventure. There are bad guy lackeys trying to shoot at me but they do so in vain and even though "miniature" this battleship moves a ton of water; I'm going down some kind of tropical river. Going down some rapids I think about taking out some more distant targets and then I open a realistic-view interactive map of a nearby area and decide I want to teleport there, trying to pick a precise spot and imagining the best spot to make the battleship drop on to displace a lot of water when it reappears and falls in. But when I actually do teleport, I'm not in the battleship anymore.

      I'm now some kind of gorilla; some remnant of the anger from the earlier dream returns, in some way. I go down an area full of people and cars and I attack them but only in passing; I seem to be focusing on simple continuing along and just damaging whatever's within reach along the way. At one point near the end, a panicked man in his car pointlessly tries to run me over. I'm about the same size as the car but easily avoid it and then proceed to chase after him for a while before I lose interest and continue my aimless rampage. This bit takes place near a fast food car park.



      Notes:

      - This dream was completely non-lucid and at no points did my awareness really raise any higher; there were no pre-lucid thoughts or feelings. It was very vivid overall and all emotions were quite intense, but none of the intensity carried over on waking.

      - I took an extra supplement before bed last night.

      - That woman was such a nice person and after writing my initial notes for the dream it really reminded me of how lucky I was through school at times, having had figures like her present not just once but many times.
    15. clxx. A quest for soup

      by , 09-29-2020 at 05:21 PM
      I thought I was missing a dream... It seems I skipped an older DJ entry by accident...

      12th August 2020

      8:30

      Dream:

      (points) Something about furry art. A kitchen, on-board a boat. Fancied two girls who were aboard. They were flirty? But they didn't know about one another.

      I was in some open restaurant area. I wanted soup from some famous female cook? I remember running in my home town. It was busy. I saw a motorised unicycle of some kind with a white paint job; I thought it looked kind of cool and I thought about how someday it would look out of place, outdated and silly. It was night time and I had to sprint my best (didn't feel dream slowness too much) to get to a harbour that was where the exit ramp out of town should be. From there, this cruise ship was leaving and I knew this because of its horn which I heard while running. I didn't want to miss it.

      I got to the loading ramp just as it was leaving and made a jump for it. It was a bare miss from my mark, plunging into water and grabbing onto a rear steering fin.

      From there I thought of calling someone (JC?, but the character or my old friend?) on the ship to bring me a rope. Then thought of just using a teleport command instead. No, instead I decided I could do this by myself and balanced on top of the steering fin and despite the water and speed, jumped forward and got on the deck.

      I got in through some doorway, watching my head. Passing thought of "so what if I fancy both of them?". I go down some steep metal or wood steps and I see her, one of these girls whom I apparently fancied. She was taking off some clothes in order to get changed. She had red briefs, a blood red colour.

      I remember we both smiled at each other but didn't speak. I had the awareness of having a glazed clay bowl in my hand and wanting some soup. There was a kitchen ahead through another bulkhead doorway. When I got inside the kitchen, there were two aggressive dream characters sort of accosting me. I forget who they were or looked like, but they were like pirates?

      Insistently I told them I would pay them to be left alone while I was in here. They thought I had nothing of value (mocked me?) and I remember scrounging through my pocket. Dozens of coins, I shove them at the two "pirates", the coins aren't nearly as valuable as I'd first expected however. I keep looking through my pockets. A stone? No, an ore nugget of sorts. It feels rough and I give it to them. It was a nugget of gold, but in reality the feel of it was more like a piece of pyrite ore like one I have in waking life.

      But I still decided this wasn't enough and somehow gave them something else but I don't remember what it was. They are now dumbfounded and agree to my terms now. Their aggression goes away, pretty much, and now I walk around the kitchen and see a very orange-y styled chest freezer, with pictures of garfield on it. I assume this is some BL ice cream thing A started.

      I remember going near a counter at the end of a queue bit, effectively bypassing said queue. But I felt as though I'd earned it with my payments to the "pirates". I still want that soup, but I can't or don't manage to find any?

      The next thing I remember, a black chef is getting fired and complaining that he was in a good mood and the head chef ruined it all and so on. I remember very shortly after, reading a review online that this chef left about the restaurant, saying very poor things about the crew or something. I feel that it's in bad taste (but feel some sympathy). Then I'm in an upper deck. Mix of a train and airplane aisle? Windows to the outside. It's day-time and some people are sitting in this cabin-like bit by the windows. A white girl says "I was pinning (some artist)", referring to how she was subscribing to this artist on some platform called "pin.it"?

      We're talking about furry artists, apparently. She mentions she feels embarrassed for talking about it out loud. A big black man sitting next to her, gives her some reassurance and tells her he actually had some interest in that same artist too.

      I forget what else happened, a lot of detail is absent from this DJ entry overall but I had a lot more recall of the dream initially.

      Some other bit about a base, partially in space? With technical-looking game block tiles and an ancient Egyptian ruin? Some overlap with the pirates somehow...



      Original note:

      - On waking I could smell the curry I'd left on a timer to start cooking at 7AM. The cookery related part of the dream may well have stemmed from that and from all the preparation I'd done for it last night. I also made a dessert, leaving the curry, the main course, to effectively cook overnight. In the dream, I was looking for a soup, which to me is traditionally a starting course.

      Added notes:

      - Quite likely the search for the soup was both a metaphor and a more literal desire at the same time. In the literal sense, a true full meal, to me, should include a starter such as a small soup, a main course, with meat or fish, and a dessert course, such as a sweet pudding of some kind and the meal we would be having the day of the dream would be missing this starter course. In the less literal sense, this food-related dream-plot goes back to old roots and to what I was used to having at meal times for a large part of my early life, so it seems somewhat nostalgic in a sense. I could extrapolate more meaning from this but these are the two most immediately relevant meanings to me.

      - The more carnal aspects about relationships on this dream maybe just came about as a coincidence with the food plot, since food and sex are supposedly pretty close in the brain, that's what makes sense in my mind anyway. But the two girls were also distinct in some way that I can't remember anymore (one may have been more open and the other more reserved and other such dualities?), so in the more metaphorical sense they are probably just relating directly to some aspects of myself, not to mention that at the time I was working on developing two characters that had a similar nature of duality between them.
    Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast