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    Lydia's Game of Dreams

    Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

    This is a record of my dreams. Some will be of video games or books, others will be completely nonsensical, and I'm hoping to have an increasing number of lucids. Thanks for looking and I hope they will inspire someone, or at least that people will find them entertaining.

    1. Skyrim: The Endless Loop

      by , 10-23-2019 at 12:18 AM (Lydia's Game of Dreams)
      2019, 10-22

      Skyrim: The Endless Loop

      Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

      I am on my computer, sitting in my own living room. I am reading a web comic called Cookie and Rose by Cobi van Leeuwen which follows the adventures of two Pusheen sisters named Cookie and Rose and their friends and family. This episode starts out with the ladies entering into an Egyptian pyramid to explore. It is night and the headlights of their jeep provide the only light revealing the entrance. The ladies and a couple other Sheens enter the pyramid. One of them has a map showing the layout of an expansive series of passages and chambers in the pyramid. Shortly after they have entered the main corridor there is a loud noise and the ground disappears from underneath Cookie’s feet. Cookie drops out of sight along with the torch she is carrying. Everysheen gasps and Rose reaches for her sister, but it is too late. Cookie is gone and nosheen knows where to. This is where the episode ends. I leave a comment that says, “COOKIE! NO!” with a shocked emoji. Well that’s enough Facebook for now, I take out my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR.

      The game starts up and goes directly to the beginning sequence. I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. This stupid thing has looped again! I quietly curse at the Thalmor, who I blame for the loop. Then I find myself singing a song from Silent Hill 4 called Tender Sugar… “Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake. What is real, what is real, what is real? It's getting hard for me to take. What I need, what I need, what I need, a little something I rely. And the white sugar gently hides me. Oh the sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me…” The driver of the carriage calls back to stop that singing. I stop singing and I realize Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric are all staring at me. Can they hear me? This game wasn’t supposed to have voice recognition… Ralof tells me to go ahead and keep singing… what are they going to do? Execute me twice? This sets Lokir off, he says it’s all Ralof’s and Ulfric’s fault that he got captured and if he had his way he would see both of them burned alive over a low fire so it would take a nice long time for them to die. Then he emphasizes that he doesn’t include me in that, he knows I’m no foul Stormcloak and… I tell him to cram it. He does a double take, but then for a wonder, he shuts up.

      We arrive in Helgen and go in. I see Elenwen on a horse not far off. I mutter to myself that I will definitely fus her straight to Oblivion this time. A fus, a ro, and a dah and she will go flying off of the highest cliff I can find into the endless abyss. Then I realize I’m thinking aloud and Ulfric is looking at me and I shut up. Now I am in front of the Imperial captain who orders my unjust execution and the lyrics of Metallica come out… “Die, die, die, my darling! Don't utter a single word! Die, die, die, my darling! Just shut your pretty mouth, I'll be seeing you again. I'll be seeing you in Hell!” Then General Tullius is giving his monologue. Ulfric is completely ignoring him and looking at me. This seems to frustrate Tullius a bit, his monologue seems less confident and he finally walks off. Ulfric keeps staring at me. Now Evanescence lyrics from the song Taking Over Me come out, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself… “You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do…” The lyrics trail off as I ask if Ulfric somehow DOES remember me… no, that’s impossible. This is another loop.

      Everything goes normally from there. They try to have my head off and then Alduin attacks. I follow Ralof and the other Stormcloaks into the tower. But then it hits me that I’ve lost all of the progress I’d made in my previous game. This feels extremely depressing and I just drop to my knees under the weight of the depression. I ignore Ulfric when he says we need to move now, he’s not talking about me. Ralof tells me to get up the tower, but I ignore him, too. I say I think I’ll sit this one out. Ulfric asks what I’m waiting for. I look up, wondering why Ulfric would be addressing me when there are Stormcloaks who need to get away safely, including a wounded Stormcloak near me. I focus healing energy and he recovers. It must have been him Ulfric was talking to. I return to waiting to see what happens if I just sit here. Then someone is pulling me to my feet. I look and see Ulfric. He says he doesn’t know why I have decided to give up so easily… I say I have done this sooooo many times… Ulfric continues and says there’s no way the Dragonborn would give up, we’re leaving now. Then Ralof is also pulling me up. If I don’t go I’ll probably get Ralof and Ulfric killed… but how does Ulfric know I’m Dragonborn? That hasn’t been discovered yet…

      I get up and go along with Ulfric and Ralof. Aside from Ulfric being with us everything is following the normal course. I get separated for a bit and have to follow Hadvar until I find Ralof again. I don’t see Ulfric. Ralof says they got separated. The rest of the intro quest goes normally. I take too much pleasure in setting the Imperial captain on fire, the one who ordered my execution even though I wasn’t on the list. Ralof and I get out of Helgen just as Alduin is flying away. Ralof wants to get my promise that there will be no more talk of giving up. I realize my depression has lifted some and I no longer feel like giving this cycle up. I tell Ralof it was a passing depression, and it has passed now. I thank him for helping me. He says we are both safe, that’s what counts. We make our way to Riverwood before I wake up.
    2. Skyrim: Dream of the Gunslinger

      by , 07-30-2019 at 05:27 AM (Lydia's Game of Dreams)
      Skyrim: Dream of the Gunslinger

      2019, 07-29

      Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

      I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason I am starting over yet again. I am thinking I have started over so many times but I can’t think why. And here I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. I look at them and Ralof says the usual stuff, so does Lokir. I ask no one in particular how many times I have to repeat this. Well there’s nothing to do but wait for the dragon. Ulfric is staring at me. I don’t remember noticing him staring at me here before. I look around the cart and I see numerous Imperial soldiers riding around us, more than I remember noticing in past times I played this. But other than that it seems to be going normally… until we arrive at Helgen at the same time as a group of bandits.

      The cart comes to a stop near Helgen because there are bandits between us and the main gate. They’re fighting someone. I hear the crash of a gun firing. The bandits freeze, not sure what to make of that noise. A mage throws a fireball at someone near the gate. There is another gunshot and the bandit mage falls. More start attacking, and more gunshots ring out. Bandits fall, one for each shot fired. The bandits actually show intelligence as they scatter from the unknown threat. As the bandits scatter I see a familiar face. It’s Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books by Stephen King! The guards are trying to arrest Roland, so much for showing some gratitude for defending Helgen from bandits. It seems they’re assuming Roland is also a bandit.

      The fact we were delayed at the entrance to Helgen does not delay Alduin’s arrival. The huge black dragon soars over Helgen, bathing everything in his path in fire. He saves a blast of flame for those of us outside the gate. The explosion flips the cart end over end, dumping all four of us out. I have an image of the cart landing on top of me and I try to get up only to be knocked back down when Ulfric lands on top of me. The flaming cart lands several feet away with a crash. I look to the side and see Alduin grab Lokir for a snack. That guy just can’t catch a break! Ulfric gets off of me so I can get up now. I see Roland staring at Alduin in amazement. When the dragon circles for another pass Roland starts shooting, though the shots have no apparent effect.

      There is now chaos. People are running through the gate and into the surrounding wilderness to try to escape Alduin, many don’t make it. There’s an explosion near the gate and I lose sight of Roland. I head in his direction, I have to be sure he’s ok. Someone grabs my arm and pulls me towards the cover of the trees. I look and see it’s Ralof, I pull away from him and head for the remains of the gate. Roland comes out of the smoke, he looks unharmed. The Imperial captain that I hate so much is coming at us with several guards. I want to fus her. So I do. FUS-RO-DAH! The captain and the guards all go flying backwards from the force of it. If I have to repeat this, at least this cool glitch repeated!

      Someone has grabbed my arm again. I look and see Ulfric this time. He says we have to move now, I won’t go anywhere until I know Roland is ok. Roland isn’t even supposed to be here, I’m not leaving him. I pull away from Ulfric and go to Roland. Roland is staring at Alduin, who is over Helgen and torching everything. I grab Roland and tell him we have to get to cover. Roland turns to me but then becomes transparent and disappears. What the fus?! I am looking where Roland disappeared. My arm is grabbed again and this time I go without even looking to see who is pulling me. I am soon in the trees with Ralof and Ulfric and a couple other Stormcloaks. I am wondering what happened to Roland. Ulfric wants to know where I learned to shout, but when Alduin roars, Ulfric says that will have to wait. I am about to follow Ralof and Ulfric into the trees but I wake up. After I wake up I wonder if I disappeared just like Roland did…
    3. Skyrim: The Captain Gets Fus'd!

      by , 07-12-2019 at 04:55 AM (Lydia's Game of Dreams)
      2019, 07-11

      Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

      I am playing Skyrim VR, starting at the beginning. Ralof is across from me, Ulfric is to my right, Lokir is across from Ulfric. Lokir is being extremely rude. He won’t shut and two out of every three words is an expletive. He is directing his torrent of obscenity at Ulfric, who is completely ignoring him. Ralof tries to tell Lokir not to talk to the rightful high king of Skyrim like that, but gives up. Lokir sees me staring at him and takes a break from Ulfric to curse at me. I ask if he talks to his mother with that filthy mouth. He gives me one final, “Fuck you!” before going back to cursing at Ulfric.

      We arrive in Helgen and stop. I see the Imperial Captain and say to no one in particular that I really wish I could fus her ass. I look at Ulfric. He could fus her. I say I’ll get that gag off of him if he’ll fus the Captain. He looks at me strangely. Did he hear me? But other characters can’t hear what I say, they only hear the dialog choices I make… But then Lokir had seemed to hear me, too… wtf? Did I add a mod that includes voice recognition and explicit language?

      Ulfric and Ralof are on the list, then Lokir insists he’s not a (expletives) Stormcloak and he hates that (expletives) traitor Ulfric. The Captain doesn’t believe him so he then turns his expletives on her, calling her a list of rude names I won’t repeat even though I agree with them. He then makes a run for it and is shot in the back by an archer. Hadvar says my name isn’t on the list, but the Captain says I should be killed anyway. Lokir used every expletive in the book, so I settle with telling the Captain to go fus herself. I would love to be able to fus her right off of a cliff.

      Alduin swoops over the town, bathing everything in fire. I follow Ralof into the closest tower. Ralof and Ulfric and a few other Stormcloaks come out the hole in the wall, though after a blast of fire from Alduin the other Stormcloaks are either killed or separated leaving Ralof, Ulfric, and me. Hadvar and the Captain attack Ulfric specifically, saying he’s not getting away. I get to see the Captain get fus’d after all. Ulfric fus’s her right as Alduin makes another pass, so she gets fus’d and then toasted! I exclaim, “That was AWESOME!” Ulfric looks at me like he thinks I’m insane. He can hear me! I’d better watch what I say or everyone in Skyrim will think I’m a total psycho.

      The rest of the opening quest goes pretty normal except for Ulfric is with Ralof and me. Then we are out and Ulfric wants to know if I know what fus means. “Of course I do, it means force. Ro means balance, dah means push. Now if I can just kill a few dragons I can do my own fus’ing…” Alduin flies overhead. “But not that one… I’m not ready for that one yet.” So the sooner I head off the Whiterun the sooner I will get the first word! I head down the path then wake up.
    4. Skyrim: Unbound

      by , 05-02-2019 at 11:31 PM (Lydia's Game of Dreams)
      2019, 05-02

      Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

      Note: When I have video game dreams they tend to be long and detailed, which is one thing I like about them. I also seem to be very slow to realize it's a dream and not a game, which is frustrating.

      I am playing Skyrim VR. I am starting a new game, I am riding in the back of the cart with Ralof across from me and Ulfric to my right, but I look to where I expect Lokir to be and instead of him there is a woman. The woman is glaring at Ulfric like she would really enjoy gouging his eyes out and feeding them to him. I am surprised to see the difference, I think there must be some random factor to the fourth person in the cart when starting a new game. She tells Ulfric she won’t kill him until he begs her to. Ulfric completely ignores her, not even looking at her. Ralof tells her to watch her mouth when speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak.

      The woman briefly glares at him, then she sees I’m staring at her. She turns her glare on me. I return her glare, giving my best effort at a Vegeta (Dragonball Z) glare. She says if I even think about getting in her way she’ll rip off my face and wipe her ass with it. This strikes me as funny and I start laughing. She looks confused. I ask what her name is, she says her name is Varlin, and I’d better not forget it. I tell her she wins, and as soon as I learn the three word fus, she has won herself a place on the top of my list of people to fus off of a cliff. She looks at me strangely again, she clearly does not know what a fus is. Ulfric, on the other hand, is now looking over at me, but he can’t say anything because he is gagged.

      Varlin returns her glare to Ulfric, who is still staring at me. I say that knowing my luck Alduin will eat Varlin, denying me my fus. And then Alduin will probably die from eating something that nasty. This earns another brief glare from Varlin and Ulfric’s eyes get wider. It sounds like he tries to say something, but then looks frustrated and growls, still staring at me. I want to know what he has to say so I stand up, and even though my hands are tied in front of me, I reach to take the gag off. A guard riding beside the cart gets closer and uses the blunt end of his spear to push me away from Ulfric, making me fall on the floor of the cart on my ass. He says if I try that again it won’t be the blunt end he strikes me with.

      We get to Helgen and everyone gets out of the cart. Varlin immediately takes action. She has somehow freed her hands. She moves lightning fast and snatches a sword from a guard, and before he can even look her way she has run it through his chest from behind. She says she came to kill Ulfric, but now she wants to kill me first. She seems to think that will be easy since I’m still tied. I really want to fus her. So I do. I let out a full three word fus, “FUS-RO-DAH!” right in her face. And it works! She is launched backwards into the stone wall that surrounds Helgen. I have surprised myself, I didn’t think I could do that yet! A glitch? Nice glitch!

      General Tullius arrives with Elenwen riding a horse close behind. Tullius asks what in Oblivion is going on, some people say Varlin killed a guard, more say Ulfric shouted at Varlin, and others say I shouted at Varlin. Tullius looks to where Varlin landed, but she is gone. He then looks at Ulfric, then at me. My cool down for shouting has finished, so I tell Tullius I have a message from Thorald Gray-Mane, and the message is, “Fus you.” He looks puzzled, then I fus him in the face. Now Tullius flies through the air and crashes into Elenwen, knocking her off of her horse. The two fall to the ground in a heap, they land in a pile of poop just dropped by Elenwen’s horse. I start laughing. This glitch is too fun!

      These changes don’t delay Alduin’s arrival. He swoops over the tower and breathes fire. People start running, my ability to shout is no longer important. Tullius gets up and starts organizing a defense, all unarmed and bound prisoners make a run for cover. I turn towards Alduin and let out a fus. It does little more than surprise him, and he replies with a blast of fire. Ulfric grabs me and pulls me towards cover, his hands are free and his gag is off. He says if that’s really the World Eater, Unrelenting Force will do nothing to him. I think Ralof is the one who is supposed to come back for me, not Ulfric, and I ask where Ralof is. Ralof is on my other side, he says he’s right there and all three of us go into the tower.

      Now things follow the normal path from Skyrim, notable differences being Ulfric says he has to make sure the other Stormcloaks get out safely, but Ralof will make sure I get out ok. And he wants to talk to me more, but that will have to wait. If we don’t see each other again here he will be in Windhelm. Ralof comes out the hole in the wall with me, at no time did I follow Hadvar or even see him. On the way through the tunnels under Helgen and out the back way I am completely fus-happy, these are people I’ve never gotten to fus before. The Imperial Captain who orders the player be executed even though their name isn’t on the list got fus’d repeatedly until dead. I follow Ralof to Riverwood and into his sister’s house where I collapse on a bed. That start was new, now to take off my VR headset… I’m not wearing one? Does that mean I’m dreaming? I never even get to RC before I wake.