Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation

LEGEND:
Black = non-lucid
Grey = awake
Blue = lucid

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Lucid fragment
I reality check and get lucid, but either don't remember what came after it or the dream faded.

Great false awakening lucid!
Discouraged from my failed lucid that I just woke up from, I decide to do an especially aware reality check and then go to sleep with the mantra "When I see my hands I will remember I am dreaming and I will remember my body isn't real." The last part of the mantra is to make me more lucid and aware, so that I'm not just a zombie.

I then heard a noise my father made (maybe be dropped something) and got startled by it, and was disappointed. But I did a reality check, and, to my surprise, I breathed right through my plugged nose and was in a lucid dream. I immediately stood up and decided to leave my home. I tried looking away and back, imagining there'd be a door. I wanted to go to a specific place, but I ended up going into a mall. For some reason I suddenly had a VR headset on my head and my lucidity slipped a bit and things started getting unclear, both since that's something that happens if you don't have your VR headset on correctly and because the dream was fading, but as I took it off it caught itself. For a few seconds, I was somewhere else, but returned to the mall without really noticing. The place might have been full of brownish sand and sort of boxed in somehow.

Now, back in the mall, I run around and explore, excited, although not as aware as in the beginning anymore, but still better than any other lucid dream I've had. I see a small (100ml volume?) box of sodium iodide and think about trying to blow something up (that's hard with sodium iodide, but, again, I had lost awareness in the VR headset segment), but I ended up not trying, both because I didn't know if they'd have any chemical that'd work out with it (forgot that you could summon things since my awareness was shit) and because I didn't want to anymore. As I thought about it, I had actually tried to grab the box of it, but I only had the lid in my hands since it slipped off, and somebody was mad at me since I grabbed it (I had a small fear that someone would notice, but I didn't really care since I was sure I could just flee). And thus, I fled.

I then decided to try some shapeshifting again. I looked at my hands and saw that I had way too many fingers than normal (about 14 on my right hand), so I tried to touch things with the hand to see how having more fingers feels like, and it felt like normal, just slightly different. It's hard to describe. But I didn't want to continue to do something else that is more personal.

I went to a sort of computer terminal and input commands and hoped for them to appear in the dream, but it didn't quite work out. At some point I did a stabilization attempt by inspecting my hands, but still nearly woke up, but ended up back at a sort of bodyless distant view that was even less aware of the terminal, which now looked like a piano/organ, and apparently dracula was playing on it. It sort of was like a comedic variation of some sort of area in a video game. I then sort of had to click on the piano to go to the terminal again to continue typing, and it still didn't work, and then I woke up.

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That awareness drop after the vr segment was annoying, but being that aware at all was progress, at least. I think I will add something to get more aware of dream control in my dreams.

Also, the first lucid fragment resulted from an extra aware reality check yesterday before I went to bed, since I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't reality check all that much because of school eating my time and stressing me.

Another lucid dream!!!
(I'm not sure if this part came before or after I got lucid, but I doubt I was lucid)
I have something to do with Buffy the vampire slayer. I seem to just follow the team she has around. I don't remember what they did, or if they even did it. The scene just might have jumped. Anyway, I see the team gathered around Buffy, and Buffy simply said "Goodbye" or something like that, and everyone else replied "Goodbye" back to her, and the group went home. Buffy stood there for a bit, and I walked by her and said "Bye Buffy". I then thought that I like these "interactive movies" in which you are in the movie and seemingly just follow the protagonist. I then went into a sort of dance club for some reason. In the dream it was supposed to be the same club the characters always go to, but in the dream it was really, really tiny and only few people were in it, as opposed to in the series. I didn't like it there, so I left.

Then I was at a shopping district relatively close to my home. I suddenly had the thought "What if I am dreaming?", and thus I tried the nose plug reality check. As expected, I breathed through my closed nose, and I was lucid. Then the scene changed to my room. I then wanted to do something, but remembered dream stabilization techniques. So I rubbed my hands together for a bit, then I held them up in front of my face and inspected them. The dream was then like real life. There was someone there with me, and there was someone coming that wanted to kill us. For some reason, I really wasn't there emotionally. I was quite calm, trying to summon a weapon by having it appear in my hands, but I only got these really weird ammunition related things on beside which were some sort of ammo display, which I had no use for. I tried a few more times, and every time until the last one only got these strange ammo related things, but in the end I got a small hand burner, and decided to try and protect ourselves from the guy that wanted to kill us. I ran to the guy. He was some really tough motorcycle gang type guy. I tried burning his throat, but he didn't care. He just said something mocking I don't remember. So I ran back into the room and the guy I was with got killed by being shot. Strangely, the attacker wasn't close enough yet. He might also have been shot at the beginning already. Well, I stopped caring and tried to do shapeshifting stuff. I did the thing a shapeshifting tutorial says: I made another finger so that I could feel what it is like to have extra limbs. So I made another finger on the left of the pinky finger of my left or right hand, I'm not sure. I tried moving it and it worked, but it was connected to the pinky and ring finger, like the ring finger is connected to the pinky: they moved all at once. It frustrated me for some reason and I thought that it'd be better if I made it on the other side of the hand. It also seems like my hand was mirror inverted. I pushed the other finger back into my hand, but it didn't quite want to disappear, so I slapped it in and it made the Minecraft effect as if it died, and it was gone. I then forgot that I wanted to try and make more fingers. I then tried making two more legs, starting from my lower back. It worked a bit, but they seemed to disappear quickly, and they had barely any sensation. I didn't even see them. The little sensation my legs had reminded me of horses. I then decided that I want to leave the room, so I wanted to imagine a large black box that would've stood behind me with a button that would've brought me away, but I woke up and forgot about DEILD and only have a digital way of writing down my dreams, so I woke up completely and took my laptop to write this.

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I am happy that I suddenly have lucid dreams. I am a bit sad that I was not really there with my mind, that I didn't really have emotion and also keep forgetting things, and that I can't manage to notice when the dream is falling apart so that I can stabilize it again. But I am happy I had a lucid dream at all, especially since I had one just yesterday.