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    DJ of lucid goals and how it goes

    DJ of lucid goals and how it goes
    My goal with this journal is to get a better dream memory and help me focus on the things I want to dream about. I think this will help me remember my goals when I become lucid. Here are my lucid goals. After every goal I have a journal about how my progress is going.

    1. Develop a habit to always start my lucidity with meditation and ponder, try to remember how the dream started if it was DILD. Make a plan what I am going to do in this dream and reflect about these goals.
    2020-05-19 I realized the dream just started by trying to remember how it started. I was about to plan what I would do but woke up.

    2. Get massage
    2020-04-07 I got massage but it was not pleasant at all. It felt like he was pinching me and it actually hurt.

    3. Get a dream palace that I know every detail about

    4. Make my own box with all my lucid tools that always are in my pocket, for now I want it to include: a DC phone that can reach all my DCs with.

    5. Create some permanent DCs that I can always reach with my DC phone.

    6. Play on a guitar. Can the dream really make it feel realistic when it can't even render my fingers correctly?

    1. Fighting

      by , Yesterday at 08:28 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm fighting a man in his forties in our house by between the food room and the hallway. I have the upper hand and let him go away but he immediately surprise attacks me. I manage to hold him off.

      Our old foster child D is crawling under the table and I know that he has bad intentions and wants to beg my dad to adopt him or something. I walk over him and pushes him away with my foot.
      Tags: family, fighting, home
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    2. School, drugs and animal abuse

      by , 12-13-2020 at 08:30 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I had one of the longer dreams that left me with impressions when I woke up.

      I'm at a college and walking around with two girls in my age. A man a bit older than us guides us and starts to chew some kind of thing. He tells us that he is a test person and that the thing he chewed can have a side effect of making his vision go bad and asks us if we want some. One of the girls says that it is undercover drugs and the girls do not want any. The man says yes and laughs. I take one and when we walk over a big height my vision goes bad so that I can't see that it is a big fall. It looks as though it is only 1 meter down but before it was maybe 10 meters. I understand that it is the drugs and that it is understandable that many people die of jumping of heigh places when they are affected by drugs.

      I'm outside with some schoolmates and a teacher. I run away with two girls. Both are supposed to be my age but one of them looks just like my physics teacher that looks like she's 70 years old. There comes a car with a teacher in it and we hide by a corner. The teacher could have seen us if he looked closely.

      I'm walking town with Claus and dad. Earlier in the dream there was some kind of time traveling and the prime minister changed place. I asked Claus and dad about this but I became very bad with words so I could not say what I meant. I do my RC and tells them that this probably is a dream. The RC doesn't work so I keep on walking with them.

      I'm in my brother's bed and we are changing clothes. I pick up some socks but they all have holes in them. When I leave the bed some other kids about 11 years old take the bed.

      It's some kind of computer game but I'm in a school. I run around and I'm apparently late to school. I am able to choose which school I want to go to and I choose the one with a girl I met earlier in the dream. She makes some kind of joke and I laugh at it and makes a joke too. I don't really understand them but she seems to like them so I laugh too. There are two more people in our company and they also join us. There is a big school disco and everyone starts to dance. New fragment. We're inside and sitting on a sofa. There comes a guitar and a girl says that she wants to show us her new song that is called "My Song". She starts to sing but it ends very quickly. I want to take the guitar but it is transformed to an acoustic bass instead. I say something about it impressed but no one seems to notice.

      I'm in a different country and there are some news about a man that has sewn snakes for some mad purpose. I watch some videos where he uses a sewing kit and sew a living snake. He uses some other tools and brutalizes it until it's not much left of it. He cuts a part from it in order to eat later. I am disgusted and think about how there are crazy people in the world. He takes a big crocodile about 3 meters long and cuts a piece of the middle. He walks out with the crocodile and holds its distance with a long plastic stick. The crocodile screams in pain and tries to kill itself by banging its head against a wall. The crocodile enters someone's house and a big lion attacks the crocodile. They fight for a while but the lion wins. I'm now in my own body and the woman in the house thanks us for something. I walk back to home but we are on an island. My family sits around a round table outside and they ask me if I can grab something to drink from the fridge. They also say something about the woman from before. I walk inside and it looks nothing like our home. I open the fridge and find some good looking drinks. I grab one and walk out.

      Notes: I didn't excpect to remember this much. The school theme was prominent in the dreams. There were also three girls that intrested me in them.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. Short lucids

      by , 12-12-2020 at 02:00 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I went to bed 2.30 am and woke up several times in the morning when I had lucids.

      I'm in 3:d person in StarCraft II. I'm a bit disappointed that I don't have a body becaues then I can't do anything in the dream. I try to free myself and gain a body. I'm able to get my body and I fly away. I fly through sveral rooms and I end up in my brother's room. My mom is laying in the bed. I try to go through a wall but it doesn't work at first. I focus and I'm able to get my hand through. The dream becomes really unstable fast and I wake up.

      Notes: My mom is sick.

      I don't remember any more of the lucids since I woke up some hours ago.

      I'm with William, Martin and Josef G. We are building some things and Josef is wondering how the balls are supposed to be layn out on a pool table.
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    4. Enrolled to military, heat hands, move fast.

      by , 12-08-2020 at 01:59 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I had a lucid but don't remember it anymore. I went to sleep 1 am and set an alarm 7.45 am and one 9 am. The dream I write down was under the 7.45-9.00 am interval and was very long and genuine with feelings that followed me until I woke up.

      I'm on a train with three blonde girls sitting in front of me like the last dream. They talk to me about the military enthusiastically. We have been enrolled to the military. We come to a big house with a general that is talking. We walk out and I think to myself that I should not have went to military training. New fragment. I'm in an old house with Peter and William. I have some kind of superpower that lets me heat my fingers up to very high degrees. There are some adjustments on the house that are needed. I heat my fingers up and put them on some parts of the house so they melt. The melted material works as glue so that I can attach some other material on the last one. After some time a hurt myself because it is too warm. I notice that I only burn myself when I melt the material but not when I heat my fingers without putting them on the material. I find this odd. Peter says something. New fragment. I'm in the kitchen at home and there are many people by the table. My family, cousins and aunts and so forth. They all look at me and mom asks if I can use my fast walk. I do small jumps and I'm able to almost teleport a small step each time I do it. They look at me with amazement. After a while it doesn't work but they are still looking at me as if I succeeded. My sister starts to do a beautiful dance when I stop. She moves in a constant speed over the floor and at the same time she spins around herself in a controlled manner with her hands in the air. It looks a lot like a ballerina dance but faster and more energetic. The people by the table says that it is amazing that I got enrolled to the military and that I'm also able to fast walk as if it was a good combination.

      Notes: I didn't make it to the military because of my allergies. I wonder what this dream symbolises. Three blonde girls about my age is a repeating symbol.
    5. Walking town. Classmate visit. Expensive candy, driving a couple. Church.

      by , 12-06-2020 at 09:42 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I went to bed 11 pm and set an alarm 7 am to re-sleep and get some lucids but I didn't get one. It took a really long time to re-sleep the first time. Probably because I already slept 8 hours.

      I'm walking past the school and thinking about how this probably is a dream. I can't remember how I got here. I think I did a RC and decide that it isn't a dream.

      Notes: I'm not sure I did the RC but in the dream I thought I did it.

      I'm walking home from town and see Hugo walking in front of me. As I enter the big door to my house Hugo turns and greets me. He walks in and we talk about somehting in the outer yard.

      I'm in Hemmakväll and looking at their candy. They have small 15 g candy bars for 100 kr (12 USD)! I am shocked because of the high prices.

      I'm biking town and drive through Hemmakväll. They have an exit at their back too. I drive back and there is an Indian couple there jumping on my bike. The girl behind me and the man on the back. I drive without using my hands and there are also more pedals for the seat where the man sits. He isn't biking a lot and I do all the hard work. I turn by leaning to the sides. It becomes really heavy and I stop biking but the bike keeps on going. I tell them by every turn which way I'm going and ask them if they want to leave. I'm by the last turn to my house and they want to leave. The Indian man is really greatful and I am just happy to have been able to help them. I walk to my house and see two boys around my age, a bit younger. They are joking about names and I laugh when one of them says the other boys name is Valor. My mom is excpecting the two boys and do a sign to them to come in.

      I'm in church with a lot of people.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. My dreams are more stressed than I am. Guitar with Gustav.

      by , 12-03-2020 at 07:36 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I was going to military enrollment this morning.

      I wake up 5.30 am naturally and can't resleep. I am nervous for military enrollment and go to the train. Recall gap. I stand in the train and go to a back seat. There are a man that enters. I think about corona distance because they warned us about that in the military mail. There comes more and more people and we get pretty crowded in there.

      Notes: I dreamt about being nervous and that I can't sleep but in reality I slept good.

      I'm sitting in my chair and look on the big screen in the TV-room upstairs. Gustav show me a music video that he has made from my guitar playing. It sounds like through the fire and flames and I am really impressed with the video. There are some Mike Wachowski memes in the video about him being a big a big sea monster eating a big boat or something. There is a part where the music sounds weird. I ask Gustav about it and he wonders what I mean. He tells me to play the part on the guitar. I don't know what part it is so I try to play something else instead. I improvise Cliffs of Dover and I get some notes wrong but it sounds good. I am impressed with myself and I tell Gustav that I have never played it before.

      Notes: In the dream I played an open Em with a high G on the E-string. When I woke up I laughed at myself how I could believe I actually played Cliffs of Dover with that fingering on the guitar.

      Updated 12-03-2020 at 08:16 PM by 97565

      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. Spider gang has infected our house. Dog house. Driving car with old classmate

      by , 11-20-2020 at 09:11 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm at home but everything is not alright. There is a big monster in the jacuzzi. The monster is like a big pile of slime but more structure and an outer layer of skin too. There is a body part that is going out and there is a big eye on it. There is slime leaking next to the eye. The monster's gang is called the spider gang. The monster is having upsight over us so we don't take the secret thing on the upper floor. Me and dad are going to take it anyways. Dad gives me a key that is able to unlock the door to the next floor. I try to but the key hole is very deep so I have to put the key in to it's maximum length. It doesn't work at first because it is reverted too. After I have turned the key to the other way it works. I look on the jacuzzi and notice that the monster is aware what I am doing. I quickly walk to the lower floor instead. I talk with dad and he says that there are other openings with a voice that tells me that we are being eavesdropped by the monster and he looks in the direction of the windows on the lower floor. I try to climb out through the first window but he says that he meant another one. I walk to the window next to the kitchen and open it. There are many details and a vase that I have to move before I am able to enter. I climb on the gutter and reach the roof. I keep on climbing on the roof until I reach the front of the house. There is a ladder and the roof is getting unstable. Dad, who is already inside tells me to jump to the ladder. There are some tense moments where I don't think that I am going to make it. Everything I grab is unstable. I grab the ladder and it starts to move in another direction. I grab the roof on the other side of the house and I am able to drag myself up. New fragment. Dad and I am running from an angry mob. I think Rick (from Rick and Morty) is the leader of the mob. New fragment. There is a spider and a fly on a wall. Dad says that the spider is tougher than the fly. He pinches the spider and squishes it. He puts back the broken spider on the fly. The spider is given life again, or it was never dead and hunts the fly as it runs away.

      Notes: That was eventful. I watched a video of a spider eating a fly some days ago.

      I'm driving car with William from middle school. I know that he is annoying but I think to myself that if I am nice to him we can be friends. We go faster than the allowed speed. William tells how I drive wrong when I make a mistake on the road. I have to put my hand on the road in order to increase the friction so that I don't go off in the sharp curves (I don't know how I was able to do that in a car). William and I come to some kind of park where families are. Another friend of William is there and we talk with him.

      Notes: I don't think I have ever dreamt about this William. Some days ago I talked about him with mom.

      I'm in a barn with hay, other humans and dogs in it. I go down on my knees and cuddle with a golden retriever. It is trying to use me as a height so it can jump over the obstacle that is holding it in the barn. I go away to the other dogs and cuddle with them instead.

      Notes: Dogs have been a theme in my last dreams.

      Updated 11-22-2020 at 09:08 AM by 97565

      Categories
      non-lucid
    8. Meeting Davie504

      by , 11-09-2020 at 02:21 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I meet Davie504 on the upper level in Det Röda Huset. I talk to him and wonder why he is here. He says that he was traveling to Germany (?) but got my letter and decided to go here on the way. We talk and decide to jam some music. I now sit in the TV room upstairs in our home and Davie sit in my room. He plays the guitar (lol) and I play the base. He plays some kind of chord progression and I play the A-minor pentatonic scale.

      Notes: I haven't seen Davie in a long time. This is the first time my music playing felt realistic in a dream.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    9. Short sleep

      by , 11-08-2020 at 10:29 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      Didn't get that much sleep tonight.

      I'm in the TV room upstairs and I'm talking with dad. Mom comes in and joins us.

      Notes: The family except mom spent time in the TV room upstairs yesterday.
      Tags: family, home
      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. Showing the dreamview's forum. Playing guitar, falling down an endless pit. Missionary. Friends.

      by , 10-14-2020 at 08:10 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm in school with Signe and showing her the Dream Journals' section of dreamviews on my school computer. I see one of my posts and there is a picture of a bowl with cereals and milk in it. I see a comment from my classmate Hugo.

      I'm in school in a sofa with many other pupils from school. I have a guitar and play it. I do some different chords and notice that the chords I'm playing aren't the ones I hear from the guitar. I know it's a dream but I get the feeling that the dream is going to disappear. A transition were I lose my lucidity and teleports to another part of school. I'm walking the D200 floor from the spiral steps to the other part of the floor. I walk to a toilet and slowly realize I'm in a dream. I walk to Helene and Signe. I walk to the spiral stairs and jump down. There is no end to them and I keep on falling. I fly to the stairs and hit the ground smoothly. I want to do it again in order to feel how it felt again. I look down the stairs but there is an end to them now about three meters down. I fly down and Signe and Helene are there again. I feel the dream starts to fade away. I'm in my bed and do a RC. I try to go up from my bed but it's hard and my vision is bad. I open my window and fly away. I fly in through a window and find two girls and a boy sitting in a sofa watching a movie. I test my abilitiy to command my DC:s to do things through my mind and is able to make one of the girls to stand up and jump around without saying anything. The dream fades away.

      Notes: I played guitar at school yesterday. I wonder if I can stop the random teleportations and have a long lucid dream instead.

      I am a missionary at a yard. I walk around with my companion and there is a girl there too. We walk into a small house and there are many drinking glasses. I do some tricks with the glasses and walk out. I look back in the house I just was in and see some other persons doing tricks with drinking glasses. Some of them drop them and they break. Some people are mad because they break.

      Notes: I am preparing to become a missionary and saving money.

      I'm in the kitchen with Eni and his friends. His friends walk out and I talk to Eni. I tell him that we can camp in the park if he brings a tent and sleeping bags. I eat a Billys Pan Pizza and really feel the smooth tomato sauce between my teeth. I think to myself that we probably won't have time to camp because I will soon wake up. Soon after I wake up because of my alarm.

      Updated 10-14-2020 at 10:18 AM by 97565

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening
    11. Planting a bomb and playing poker. Hunger games with Oskar

      by , 10-10-2020 at 03:31 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I've got my hands on a very small bomb with a button on it. When you hold the button in an alarm is set and the bomb will explode in 60 seconds. I hold in the button and disable it again by long pressing the button again. If you do a single short press on the button the bomb will explode instantaneously. I am afraid that I might do a single press by mistake. I am in the kitchen downstairs and is about to play poker in my brother's room. There is a control pass between the hallway and I have to hide the bomb in order to get through. Something happens and the guards get distracted. I pass unnoticed and is able to enter my brother's room. There are some poker men there and I join them.

      Notes: I don't know why I would bring a bomb to the poker game. My home in the dream didn't quite feel like home. I think it was because of the security.

      I'm in the woods with my cousin Oskar. There are many other people there who shoot arrows at each other. We hide behind a rock. It is almost like The Hunger Games and we need food. I am really protective over Oscar and tell him that he has to be careful. We need food so I tell Oskar that he needs to follow me so we can hunt someone down and take their supplies. New fragment. I'm facing a crowd of about 100 people that is hostile against me. Some people at the front have bows and are shooting at me. I ask them how many they are and why they are teaming up against me. I think it is odd why they are not killing each other in a game where you are supposed to be the last person standing. After I have asked the question there are only three persons left with bows and arrows. They tell me that they are only three people and I think to myself that it makes more sense now. They shoot arrows at me and I use my machete to deflect the arrows that is about to hit me. I wake up naturally but I still have the dream in my head. I'm not sure if I made the ending up by myself or if the dream really wanted me to see its ending. I run to the three people and one shout out loud that I still have a machete. I cut the first one and goes to the second one. I swing the machete against him and the tip of the machete is burrowed into his shoulder.

      I had a sleepover by my cousins and was with Oskar who is a small child.
    12. Mini rabbit. Gaming and Batman. Shooting, hunted, driving, camping, school, addiction class.

      by , 10-07-2020 at 09:02 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I was sleeping in Sturkö tonight and it was pretty cold so I woke up several times. I once again got the experience where I regain my conscious before I have woken up. I think this is the moment people mean when they talk about DEILD and how people are briefly awake before they fully wake up. I tried to WILD but gave up because the blankets I was using made me itch all the time.

      I'm in a desert and there is a pair of two small rabbit feet under the sand. They are about two millimeters in diameter. I pull the feet out of the sand and there is a rabbit. It bounces on my hand up and down and I am afraid that I might drop it. I turn left and walk in the desert until I reach the TV room upstairs. There are some people talking about D&D and how the rabbit is one of their characters. They talk about dexterity throws and how you always win them even if you roll a really low number. They talk about a bard too.

      Notes: I joined my friend in one of his D&D meetings with his friends and I was a bard. My friend was a small frog and I think the rabbit symbolised his character.

      My brother is playing some kind of game that looks like Ratchet and Clank. Later my family is going to watch some Batman movie. They ask my brother if he wants to play instead.

      Notes: There is a new Batman movie that is going to be released that my family wants to watch.

      I'm in a dark basement and I have some people on my team that are equipped with bullet proof vests and rifles. We proceed and shoot criminals as we go forward. The criminals shoot at us too. There is a long corridor with different kinds of protection for the criminals on each side of the corridor. We spend some time shooting at each other there. My team is being shot down and I am the only one remaining. It is pitch-dark but the criminals are outlined with a white color as they walk against me because I have special vision. They don't see me and I hide to the left of a door. They walk past me and I try to be as small as possible. They look over me and suddenly their faces are full with fear and they run out of the basement. When they leave I look where they looked and find that there is some kind of text engraved in the wall. I realize that there are some kinds of monsters in here. I quickly run to the exit hatch but the criminals are about to close it. I take my gun that is now some kind of high tech shotgun. I shoot with it against the hatch and scream as if I was one of the monsters. The criminals quickly run away in fear and I am able to escape the building. There is a car running up alongside me. I enter the car and the man driving next to me knows about the failed operation. I tell him about the text but doesn't quite remember what it said. I tell him that it was something about blood. He quickly realizes what monster I am talking about and says in a cool way that it is the blood hunters. I don't ask about the monsters and he doesn't tell me about them. There is a yellow car in front of us and I see something in their baggage. While both of the cars are driving I open my door, go to the front of our car, and rip of the back glass of the other car and the glass is like plastic (I don't remember how I was able to do it). I look inside and see some mattresses. I pull them out and grab something and takes it with me into the other car that I was in before. We drive and reach some kind of camp. The man driving is now my dad. The yellow car I stole something from earlier is now back. They are friendly to me even though I stole from them. I walk around the camp and a woman says that I am too young to sleep in the comfortable tent, I have to learn how to handle the cold. Me and dad enters a big tent that can hold about 15 people sleeping. I look down on the sticks and ropes that hold the tent up and notice that they are divided in groups of three. I think about the tent construction for some time and go to a chair. There are many other kids there now. One of the children is identical to Diego's half sibling. She talks to her sister about my name and how it is spelled with a c and not a k. I don't mind it but think that she is cute. She comes to me with a picture and asks me if I am the same person. It is a picture of my sister when she was about 10 years old. There is something wrong with the eyes on the photo which creates a feeling of sickness and craziness in a bad way. I tell her that it is my sister but she doesn't seem to understand my swedish. There is a teacher and she talks about how we should have read To Kill a Mockingbird. Some people in the class say they read some chapters three times in order to fully understand them. I have only read it once and is therefore nervous that I might fail. People with cakes come in and drop them of next to my seat. I cut a chocolate cake next to me but decide that I shouldn't eat it because it isn't mine. There comes a woman who says to a disabled man next to me that he shouldn't have cut the cake. I feel bad because the disabled person is unable to say that it wasn't him. I tell the woman that it was I who cut the cake and that I am truly sorry. She appreciates my honest answer and gives me a smile. There comes a disabled girl to the front who is about to confess something. She starts of that she can't resist blonde people and I have to think a second if I have blonde hair and is relieved when I remember that I have brown hair. She also confesses that she is a sex addict and that it is hard.

      Notes: That was a long dream. I never saw the monster but it feels as if they were like the monsters from until dawn. I saw a yellow car yesterday. I thought about mattresses before I went to bed. It was a cold night in Sturkö so I dreamt about sleeping in the cold. I baked some chocolate balls yesterday to my cousins birthday, I got some cake when I dropped the chocolate balls off.

      Updated 10-07-2020 at 09:06 AM by 97565

      Categories
      Uncategorized
    13. Walking, snow, woods, dad is idiot. Guitar man. Among us. Wake up in hospital. Discord, transsexual.

      by , 10-06-2020 at 08:00 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      Notes: I tried one of my longest WILDs 22.30-23.25. I got some very light dreams about people standing in front of me and some eyes. I think they were HH and not light dreams actually.


      I'm walking in a snowy forest. My backpack is heavy and is hurting my shoulders. I'm walking and walking and I don't know to where I am walking. We reach a cliff and it's no longer winter. Dad wants us (me, dad and my brother) to jump of the 10 meter high cliff into the water. Me and my brother doesn't want to. Dad grabs my brother and starts to carry him while he runs unto the edge of the cliff. Dad makes a really long jump but doesn't make it to the edge of the cliff. For some reason he throws my brother over the edge before he lands on the ground. Dad lands on the cliff while my brother falls down the cliff. I scream at dad telling him that he is an idiot. He doesn't care much and says that he can fix it. My brother is really angry and can swim here (He can't swim IRL). Dad jumps in the water to save my brother but ends up pushing him down almost two meters when he lands on him while swimming to him. I am so angry at dad because it feels as if he wants to hurt my brother. Dad is calling grandpa and talks with speaker on. We listen to the conversation while being mad at dad.

      Notes: My brother is having a tough time and is screaming a lot now. Dad is always going to him and trying to talk to him even tough my brother doesn't want to.

      I'm watching a screen. There is a man that is talking english about how to be a better guitarist. He takes his guitar and says that you have to practice to play only using pull offs and hammer ons. He counts down on swedish and starts playing some really good music only using pull offs and hammer ons with his left hand.

      Notes: I got some inspiration from this dream IRL.

      I'm playing Among Us but everyone has a heart over them. You are able to give other people hearts during the game to those you don't think are impostors. I think to myself how I would want to win as an impostor and get a heart from everyone.

      Notes: I played some Among Us with my cousins yesterday.

      I woke up 04.00 and wrote down the dreams above this.

      I wake up in a hospital and I am shocked. I have panic in my voice and asks where I am and why I am here. A doctor and mom come to me and say that it's alright. Mom says that they are here to operate my warts away (They use the swedish word for warts but they are talking about my birth marks). I don't have a shirt on me and the doctor shows me where I have different birthmarks I have never seen before (I took a look under my shirt now IRL just to be sure I didn't have the birthmarks the doctor showed to me and I didn't have them). He takes a laser and do some weird patterns on my stomach that is supposed to help the operation. New part. We are in Sturkö and I have got a big belt over my stomach, about 15 cm width. It has shining lights on the inside that are placed over my birthmarks that are supposed to take them away. White lights on the front and red on the back. I turn it on and the lights really hurt in a way I have never felt before. It is like a burning chemical feeling about it. I walk around and it turns out that the belt actually isn't secured that good on my stomach. It falls down and the lights don't hit my birthmarks anymore. I walk around for a long time. New part. I'm at home and some of my cousins are also there. Jonathan is nagging about how he wants to play a game to his mother. The belt is still there and is hurting. During some periods I go to a sofa and can't move because it hurts so much. The pain goes in waves. New part. I'm walking in city with mom and the belt is still on. I look on my stomach and see how some kind of fluid is coming from the birthmarks. I touch the fluid with my finger and inspect it. I see how the birthmarks are starting to disappear. I think about mom's cousin L who has operated some of her birthmarks. I ask mom if it is not wrong to operate birthmarks. If no one would operate away birthmarks no one would look down on people with birthmarks and no one would have to suffer like I have done. Mom's answer has to do with that the world can't change and that we have to adapt. She is not happy with the world but says that I have to suffer because the world is bad.

      Notes: I talked with mom about L and her operations for some years ago and havn't thought about them for a long time. Dad uses some kind of laser to cure his patients sometimes. I usually don't feel pain in my dreams. The white lights on the front and red lights on the back has to do with car lights. I study for the driving license theory test now.

      I'm on discord and I see a gif with a girl that is transformed to a man. There is some kind of vacuum cleaner that sucks her breasts out from her. My view comes inside the gif and I see the woman that is now a man but still has a woman's face. She raises up from a operation table with some hospital men around her. She walks out. I become the operated person and wonder what I should do this beautiful morning now when I have changed gender. I am outside my school walking up the street to Centrum. I am aimlessly walking the streets and just enjoy that I am free.

      Notes: When I was a kid I wanted to be a girl and sometimes walked in a princess outfit. My name in Among Us is Miss Pink and the persons I play with often refer to me as she.

      Notes: That was an eventful night. The dream about my birthmarks was really long and most of the time I was just idling and feeling pain.
    14. Afternoon nap

      by , 10-05-2020 at 04:36 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I couldn't focus on my school reading so I went for an afternoon nap between 14.50-16.40 and remembered this dream.

      I'm in the upper room with dad. I have my red hoodie on with the hood over my head so I can't look foreward. I sit on a bench where the music sounds actually stand. Dad is angry with me and says that I can't keep on practicing the guitar without the musical scales. He says that I should remove my hood and look him in the eyes. He is speaking as if I had done something really bad. I remove my hood and look at him. He says that he had a good time practicing base with me but that I need to fix my practice scheme.

      Notes: I began practicing with a metronome again some days ago. I actually only care about the pentatonic scale and don't find motivation when I try to learn the musical modes. I know them in theory and think that's enough (Now when I dreamt about it I tested out the mixolydian scale on a backing track and found it a little bit amusing).
      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. Most lucid I have ever been.

      by , 10-05-2020 at 07:41 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm talking with Diego. He says that he doesn't have any parents.

      Notes: I helped Diego with some math yesterday. I read "To Kill a Mockingbird", and just read about Dill who doesn't have a dad.

      Fragment I'm in some kind of game with lava. I need to get some kind equipment in order to pass the lava.

      Notes: My brother talked about about a game he plays where he needs some new equipment in order to proceed.

      I'm cooking Hasselback potatoes in the kitchen. Andreas E is constantly calling me just to ask me how I am. I tell him I am okey with a short reply all the times. New fragment. I'm in my room with a hose. I am shooting water in my room and try to put my thumb by the mouth of the hose in order to get a more spread out water beam. I don't succeed. My mom calls to me that everyone has to help in the new potato land.

      Notes: I read about potatoes yesterday. Andreas has been writing sometimes. I think Andreas has the role of Martin more in the dream because he constantly asks me how I am.

      I woke up 05.19 and wrote down the past dreams then. I tried to WILD and have my breath as focusing point but fell asleep.

      I'm driving our car up to our street from Albin's house. There is a stranger next to me in the car. He says that I am driving wrong but I think I'm doing it right. He keeps on telling me that I do wrong. I succeed in parking by our house.

      I'm in some kind of game where we jump on big rocks and Bowser is there. My brother is also there. I realize it's a dream and fly away. I fly to my house and there are my cousins. I have almost perfect lucidity and it feels as though I have all my IRL memories. I remember that I want to eat something good. I go to the kitchen and find Peter there. I ask him if there is anything I can eat. He takes the frying pan and show me some kind of bean mess that looks disgusting. Peter takes his hand in the food and shoves it around which makes it look even less appetizing. I don't want to eat it anymore and fly outside. Morgan and mom are there. I fly up to the tree which doesn't have any leaves in the dream. I fly around it and I feel such blissfulness. I fly in many different positions that makes me really happy. I fly on my back, stomach, I stand on my feet and fly upwards with my feet pointing up to the sky. That was really trippy. This dream has such good stabiliy and everything feels really real I think to myself. I try to fly as high as I can and above the atmosphere. Unfortunately I can't go higher than about 15 meters above the ground. There is like a soft ceiling that I can't break through. I ask the people on the ground if they want to join me. Some people start to fly modestly and carefully. I fly to the city where the dream starts to fade away.

      Notes: The flying was so easy and it made me feel amazing.

      I am in city with my friends from school. There is a big glass cage where some people stand. I become more and more lucid. I start to fly in the glass cage and look at the people. I grab two of my friends' hands and try to fly away with them. It is difficult to fly with the extra weight but I manage okey. We walk to Saltö and Gabriel talks about some kind of karate. I look at Signe and she looks different from IRL.

      Edit:

      Remembered some more dreams during my morning routines.

      I'm sitting on a bench in school with the school's guitar. Eni comes through the entrance with his own guitar equipment and someone behind him also has some music instruments. I tell Eni that he finally brought his own things to school. He laughs and says something about how it was time. I'm happy when I think about what we are going to play.

      Notes: I thought about how me and Eni probably isn't going to play with each other anymore some days ago.

      I'm looking at my face in some mirror and see that my right eyebrow is cut in half and that the right side of the right eyebrow is just a circle with hair on it.

      Updated 10-05-2020 at 11:43 AM by 97565

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
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