• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    IndigoRose

    1. 27 October - Fun with my clone

      by , 10-27-2021 at 11:56 PM
      WILD. Vibrations. Suddenly, I feel like I am standing, I reach with my hand and can feel a wall with wallpaper to my left and a carpet under my feet. No vision yet.
      I follow the wall with my hand and take a few steps. I want to open my eyes, but it feels risky. Instead, I stabilize my dream body - I touch my face and proceed downwards. I begin to see. I inspect my body and legs under my nightie - everything looks realistic.

      I decide to try the TOTM task - have fun with your clone. My plan for this is to use a mirror to clone myself, pulling my image towards me. And maybe repeat it a few times.

      I walk around the room and look at the bed. My body and R's are there. There's a wardrobe next to it where a large mirror should be. I think to myself, there should be a mirror here, and when I look again, it's there.
      My reflection looks slightly different than me but nice.
      "Hi," I tell her. "Give me your hand."
      She stops mimicking me and takes on a life of her own (good!), but there's still a glass wall between us. I reach out to take her hand, but the mirror is solid. I remind myself that the mirror doesn't exist and try to use more force, but the glass doesn't let me do it.
      Then there's a big TV next to it, which I can stick my hand in without any problem. The stuff inside feels slightly wet and foggy.
      The mirror also changes size and position whenever I turn around.
      R, meanwhile, has woken up. I talk to him for a while and ask if he knows how to get my other me out of the other side of the mirror. He offers no advice.
      I decide to kiss the other me. For the first second or two, I feel cold glass, but then I feel soft and warm lips. I make it into a long kiss with my eyes closed, as a silent goodbye.

      I leave the room and want to go to the workshop to give the chance to the ring task. Is it even possible to do two tasks in one dream? I don't know, but I don't care, and the cloning didn't go as planned anyway.

      I walk through a couple of rooms that aren't in my house IRL. The last room has an industrial feel, with rough walls, a series of steps to a lower level, and a tiled floor. The door to the workshop isn't where I expect it to be, which confuses me for a moment, but then I see a door a little further to the right - it's glass, sliding, with a motion sensor. When I walk up to it, it opens.
      The workshop is a lot bigger than IRL, but a little darker. There are three benches, one with semi-finished jewellery on it.
      I look for some material suitable for a ring. On one of the benches is a large piece of gold, more bar than wire, high karat (18k or even 22k). It looks too thick for a ring, but I take a closer look. It's at least 10mm thick, definitely too thick for a ring.
      While I'm thinking I wouldn't even be able to bend it, I wake up.


      Notes:
      - While being completely invested in getting my reflection from the mirror, I completely missed that there was another me in the room that could be used as my clone - my body in my bed! I have to try to "wake up" my "real body" one day!
      - That chunk of gold would be worth something around $50,000. I certainly wouldn't mind finding something like that IRL
    2. 18 September - The longest lucid so far

      by , 09-19-2021 at 11:01 PM
      comment lucid dream

      A considerably shortened version, it was 20-30 minutes dream

      A very nice non-lucid in the 4th cycle, very light and mostly conscious sleep afterward. After an hour, I feel the 5th REM trying to start (vibrations starting and dissipating), but my mind is a bit too awake. I cuddle up with R. A minute later, vibrations again, and I finally relax into them.

      The beginning
      I see grey blurry spots and R is holding me tightly from behind (IRL we are in a spoons position, with his arm over me). I can barely move. Am I dreaming already? I don't want to risk moving in reality or opening my real eyes, so I close my dream eyes for a moment. But then it feels pretty stable, so I try to free myself. R holds me tighter and won't let go. I have to wrestle with him, and gradually the visuals come in, grey and blurry at first, then clearer and sharper. I throw him to the ground. He's lying under the table, all I can see of him are his legs. I want to unsummon him with a snap of my fingers, but I can't snap, so I just leave the room and forget about him.

      TOTY
      In the hallway, wondering what to do next. I don't expect anything from the dream, I have an unstable sleep in the morning as it is, and if R moves in reality, he'll wake me up.
      TOTY comes to mind first, I don't expect to finish it, but why not try.
      I walk into a larger room where a lot of old people are sitting at tables.
      I call out, "Hey Dream! Superhero time!"
      "Who can tell me what superhero I am?" I ask.
      Two old men raise their hands. I point to one of them. He says something to me, but I don't understand. I lean over to him to repeat it, but I still don't understand. I call out the other. He says something that is more of a feature than a name.
      "It's about the name. I am a superhero. Do you know my name?"
      His eyes light up, he understands, he nods. He doesn't look old anymore, more middle-aged.
      He says four French words.
      Oh. Okay. "Could you repeat it?"
      He repeats it slowly, and I say it after him. Word by word, sometimes he corrects me. We spend about a minute on it. Then I repeat the whole thing. He nods.
      Nice. I start to ask about my powers but realize that's the second task. I ask about the costume and get the answer that it's in a cupboard there.
      The entire wall behind the tables is made up of cabinets with doors, drawers, and compartments. I open a few and find random things, but nothing like a costume.
      I walk out of the room, down a wide corridor, and there I see a toy store. That looks good. And I see a costume rack!
      First on the rack is a burgundy dress with ruffles. Nice, fantasy, but not exactly superhero style. The second is a child's spiderman costume, that's closer, but it's not quite my size.
      The customer who was talking with the saleswoman leaves, and I ask her:
      "I am a superhero. Do you have a costume for me?"
      She nods and hands me a toy wrapped in clear plastic. It's a bee, with a black and blue striped body and red details.
      I'm confused. "Do you want me to use the colours? To have something made in these colours?" She nods.
      Behind her stands a man, thin, stern-looking. He says something like I know there's a message there.
      I walk out of the shop. I unwrap and take apart the toy, nothing.
      But okay. Good enough. I continue out of the building, repeating the French name to myself. I should wake up and write it down, but no... I don't want to... I'll probably wake up soon anyway.

      On my way out
      I walk down the wide staircase, repeating my name to myself. I look around and suddenly I'm confused - where am I? Am I awake? Or still in a dream?
      I do a nose plug RC and it fails. WTF. This again? (It failed for me for the first time 8 days ago.) I look at my hand and I have a sixth finger. That's better.

      Flying
      After training in a few previous shorter dreams, I'm getting much better at the swimming technique of flying. I take off, below me is a nice park built into a slope, further ahead are some fish ponds and behind me is a city.
      I'm practicing faster flying (I'm still not good at that) and flying upwards, at altitude (slowly, but steadily). For a while, I just float on my back and fool around. Some people in sport suits run by, there's an air-running race going on. Then I try to spin and create a tornado, but I can't get enough speed.

      Underwater exploring
      I remember the goal of underwater exploring and fly into one of the ponds. It's deep enough to put me underwater. But it's extremely muddy, I can barely see anything. There are frogs croaking around. I try to breathe, and I have to remind myself that in a dream, you can breathe underwater. I can, but it's uncomfortable, a bit like inhaling mud. I have to keep reminding myself that it's possible. I don't like it in there, so I fly out. Better to try this in the sea, which has better associations. I sense the sea beyond the city, so I head there.

      Chatting with KD and Vikings
      I end up on some street with street food stands.
      I try to recall the superhero name. Was it Jamon (with ch/[x] sound)? No, that’s ham in Spanish. It was French J. I vaguely remember the rest of the words too but I am not really sure.
      My friend KD is there.
      "Don't you mind that you sleep and dream too much?"He asks.
      "I'm dreaming right now," I reply.
      He voices some more criticism of my supposedly unhealthy lifestyle, but I shrug.
      "Don't you think you've been here too long?"
      For a moment I feel time dilation like I've been here for hours, but my rational self is quickly back and I estimate the time so far at 20-30 minutes.
      There is now a wooden table next to me with a bunch of Vikings drinking beer.
      KD continues, "What about your body, how do you know you're ok, what if you're in a coma?"
      The Vikings are more interesting.
      One of the Vikings is trying to rip a piece of wood from a bench to use as a wooden sword to fight me. I don't know if I want to fight. He has long dark hair and a Viking haircut. I kiss him on the mouth.
      "Is this what you want?" He asks, a little surprised.
      He gets up and walks around the table away, I go with him.


      And I finally wake up.
      Not remembering the name at all.

      Total time IRL between cuddling up with R and waking up - 30 minutes.
    3. 25 August - White plush rabbit

      by , 08-26-2021 at 12:19 AM
      comment daydream/forming dream fully dreaming and lucid

      WILD/V-WILD

      Thinking about lucid dreaming when awake at night… and as a result, having problems with falling asleep… my brain goes into the WILDing mode. I experience vibrations two or three times. I can tell I am due for a REM period. I experience forming dreams when I can feel the dream body and sensory perception from the forming dreams but I am neither able to relax into it nor force my way in. I remember I usually need movement or action to do this but I am not able to get anything going.

      I try to relax more to be able to fall asleep normally. The fact that I am close to my usual waking time makes it harder but I still have time to get some sleep.

      There is a daydream or a forming dream. I am on a meadow and there are three men with swords. I decide to run. Running is what I need to get immersed in it, even though it feels weird to start a dream by being chased.
      I'm running downhill, there are forests all around. But I'm not gaining any distance, quite the opposite. It's not vivid, it has more of a daydreamy feel. I run into the woods, but I realize that the woods are going to be bad for sword-fighting, and I don't have much choice but to face them.
      Suddenly I'm back in the meadow and trying to catch my breath. I draw my sword. Three men stand in a quarter circle in front of me. I know I have to move to stand a chance against three, but I'm already out of breath. However, since I assume this is still only a daydream, I can cheat and imagine the way I want it. I'll cross swords with the first two, break through the guard of the third, who I manage to surprise, and thrust my sword into him. It still feels like I'm imagining it and not very realistic.
      Then I back away from the other two. One comes after me and I somehow lose my balance and am on the ground. Suddenly a large, humanoid, white, plush rabbit is standing between me and the man. The man tries to push him away, but he can't. Then suddenly I see the man on the ground and the rabbit is sticking a long, thin rapier into his neck.

      I touch the grass around me and feel that the dream is now solid. I can feel the grass, nothing else, and I'm happy I got in. I consider doing something else for a moment, but this scene deserves a continuation. I look around and see that I can't quite see clearly and that the dream feels unstable. I grab the grass again. I want to stabilize the dream more - a little further away lies the severed head of one of the men. I crawl on my hands and knees to it and grab it, it feels more like a toy than realistic.
      I stand up and look around again. I don't see the third man anywhere (was the head his?). I walk over to the rabbit. He has a human face now, but still has the vibe of a plush rabbit.
      I thank him for his help, shake his hand/paw, and ask, "Who are you?"
      He answers something about some mistakes. It's hard to understand him.
      I say, "Yes, I've made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. But I ask, who are you?"
      He smiles, looks very happy, and seems to realize what I am asking. But he just says more incoherent words.
      I sigh, wondering why it always has to be this way and consider trying to ask again.

      But I start to feel myself waking up.

      BTW I have a new Fitbit to play with (chosen after reviewing several trackers vs. polysomnography studies). It is bad with awake vs. light (biased towards light) and with light vs. deep (also biased towards light) but it is pretty good with REM. It tracked this REM period as being 4:30 long.
    4. 15 July - Mountain valley (snooze WILD)

      by , 07-16-2021 at 12:14 AM
      comment lucid

      Not the best night. Falling asleep way too quickly when attempting SSILD and later the opposite problem - drifting in and out of dreamless light sleep.
      At my usual waking time, I still felt tired and tried to sleep longer, but again only light sleep. I cuddled with my husband for a couple of minutes but it was too hot. We talked a bit.
      Then I decided to get up, but taking it slowly, I closed my eyes again.
      An unexpected wave of vibrations went through my body. I thought “why not” and rode with it.

      Around me is a semi-tunnel in a rock - a road or path cut into the side of the mountain - and there are large window-like cut-outs with views into the valley. I can see a beautiful landscape - steep hills and rocks, half-hidden in moving clouds. I want to take a photo, but I don't have my camera, so I tell J. to take one. He comes, but now the clouds cover the most beautiful parts I've seen, the most rugged mountains. I tell him he has to wait.
      I look around and think what a nice setting for a lucid dream this would be.
      (1) I try to visualize myself climbing down. Logically, there should be a steep cliff, but I imagine a steep slope. The dream doesn't cooperate much, the result isn't very realistic, I see several cut scenes - a slope with scree, grass, a steep descent - and suddenly I'm down and it seems to have worked, I'm on the grass and there's a sparse forest all around. The situation stabilizes and looks more solid. I examine my surroundings with my senses, half expecting to be still connected to reality, but I am squatting on the grass and feeling only the damp cold grass with my fingers, I know I'm fully in the dreamworld and that's satisfying. (2)
      I'm going through the forest. Suddenly there's a glass building, like a teahouse with seating inside. I walk through the inside and at the end, I have to squeeze past the only opaque wall in such a way that I lose my view of the outside. Knowing how changeable dreams are, I'm a little worried that the forest will disappear, but when I come out, everything is still there, and when I reach for the glass door, I can feel the water droplets trapped in the door frame on my fingers. It impresses me as a very nice detail.
      There are some trees behind the teahouse, blocking the view further on, and when I go out beyond them, there is a car (relatively old, red?) and a little boy, about 5-8 years old, and another one next to him. One has light brown hair, the other is almost black-haired, and both have round faces. I greet them and ask how they are. They answer something normal. Then I see their mother watching them. I ask her something too, but I don't know what, the answer is sensible but uninteresting.
      (3) I turn away from them and wonder what to do next. I remember that I have some things I want to do in my dreams, like get somewhere else. And I wake up all of a sudden, like I suddenly remember that I have to get up, or that I have to be somewhere else.

      Notes:
      1) At this point, I didn’t believe it was a fully formed dream, I just couldn’t believe that the dream would form so quickly.
      2) In retrospect, I think this transitional “daydreaming” wasn’t necessary and I could just touch the rocks to stabilize the dream when still on the road.
      3) After waking up, I was really surprised by how bad my memory of the dream was. I have a theory there is a connection between my long-term memory being off in the dream (not remembering my goals) and the dream not being stored in the long-term memory.
      Categories
      lucid
    5. 9 July - Mirror, mirror, on the wall

      by , 07-10-2021 at 12:16 AM
      comment lucid

      WILD/pseudoWILD

      The post-WBTB part of the night started with a failed SSILD attempt. I vaguely remember doing 3 long cycles but I think I actually only did one or one and a half and did the rest in the dream. Which was a FA on a field next to a forest and then it developed into a longer dream… nothing to write about.

      Later in the morning, I found myself awake again (and reminded myself that SSILD needs to be done with the intention to expect FAs and to do a RC).
      I decided to do SSILD again, this time a bit more aggressively, to survive at least 3 and ideally 4 long cycles. But it actually put me into a WILDing position - there was motion hypnagogia during the 2nd cycle (bed shaking and similar sensations).
      R. was breathing loudly next to me, almost snoring. I considered using it as an anchor, but he changed position. I was doing my 3rd SSILD cycle and dreams or dreamlets were forming around me, but when I noticed them or engaged with them, they collapsed, like snapping out of a daydream. Imagining a scenario or location also didn’t work.
      I wanted to change position to the other side and fall asleep. I still gave physical separation a chance, even though I felt too grounded in reality - but as expected I moved with my real body and opened my eyes for a moment.
      I rolled over onto my other side and lazily did the last cycle. Knowing I wouldn't force my entry into the dream, I decided to just let go most or all of my awareness, to let my mind wander, just let the sleep come and the dream form, and to do a RC in a few minutes.
      There was a short semi-sexual fantasy (1 minute max). I don’t know if it was a dream or dreamlet or just visual thoughts, I was completely passive. I ended up half-sitting on my bed.

      Aren’t I in the dream already? I thought and tried to fully sit and get up. As I was getting up, my vision glitched and I thought “I did it”, not needing any RC.
      I slowed down a little and touched the sheets, they were silky. That made everything much better and I got up fully. I left the room immediately.
      The door to the second bedroom was bricked up. There was wallpaper around it, but there was only a wall where the door should be. And the hallway was extremely narrow, I could only just squeeze into the main part of the hallway. My first goal was to look in the mirror (in the hallway above the shoe cabinet). Almost there, I remembered that I’d wanted to look at my hands at some point (I've never used it as an RC and never examined my hands in my dreams). The front of my vision was blurry and/or my field of vision started 30-50cm away from me, I could only see my fingertips and my hands were disappearing in the fog. They were wide and strangely deformed and almost impossible to count. 6 a 3? I don't know.
      Then I looked in the mirror. It was clearly me. The image was distorted, but nothing disturbing - my face was a little wider and irregular and my eyes were a little slanted, but it was undoubtedly me and I was smiling, looking happy.
      I remembered that people use mirrors as portals, and since the plan today was to teleport (the main goal - to use the TV), I tried to climb into the mirror. It's small and it's high up, so I couldn't really do it, but it was obvious that there was space behind the mirror, I could stick my hand in and grab the frame from the inside.
      I wanted to put in a better location, so I reached behind me for a picture, but then I got a better idea - I went through the advertising flyers on the shoe cabinet and pulled one out. It had a beautiful landscape on it - blue sea, blue sky, green hill.
      I put it behind me so it would reflect in the mirror. It worked very well, the picture of the landscape filled most of the mirror and it looked realistic. I tried to climb into the mirror again, but as it was small, I got stuck and couldn't crawl any further.
      As I tried to use more force to push through, the dream faded.
    6. 23 June - Unexpected WILD

      by , 06-23-2021 at 08:42 PM
      comment lucid dream

      The postman woke me up.
      Back in bed, I remembered that I wanted to try lucid dreaming subliminal music. After a while, I was quite uncomfortable being on my back, so I found a position on my side that was compatible with headphones. But it still didn't suit me - I'd probably fall asleep, but it bothered me how my entire headspace was taken up by the music, even though I had it on minimum volume.
      I checked the time - half an hour had passed.
      I tried to fall asleep normally - changed position a few times. There were some visualizations - I imagined moving along a path and subconscious added the scenery around. It was quite nice, the landscapes were detailed, but it wasn't immersive and it wasn't going anywhere.

      I was on my left side and very close to falling asleep and felt very light vibrations. I remembered that I wanted to be more aggressive during WILD and get up right after the vibrations. So, without a single thought of my real body, I tried to get up and sit on the edge of the bed.

      And it worked. It had a real feel, but it was surprisingly easy, no duvet putting up resistance or anything like that. I did a nose-plug RC and could breathe. But at the same time it was unstable and I couldn't see anything. As I continued to get up, my head got dizzy, and when I tried to open my eyes, I saw my bedroom for a moment, the "dream filter" was on but it was confusing, and it felt like I was opening my real eyes out of the corner of my eye (probably an illusion), so I closed them again. And everything was shaky. I grabbed the curtain and used it for support and to stabilize - it was very fine, almost silky, not like IRL.
      I'm standing upright now, but still with my eyes closed. I walk carefully around the bed - I don't want to kill myself on the pile of clothes lying there. But in the dream, there's hardly anything there.
      Things are more stable, so I want to open my eyes, but I realize I'm starting to see, and instead of opening my eyes I blink and everything starts to become clearer. It's still confusing though and doesn't feel much like a dream. I leave the bedroom, hoping it will give me more stability and mental clarity.
      I go to the cat room. The furniture there is similar to real life, but it's tidier, and my cat is sleeping on the couch at the end of the room. She looks normal. When she sees me, she starts to stretch. I decide not to go any closer because I'm worried I might step on the real cat IRL (forgetting that my real body is in bed).
      As I leave, I hear a grunting sound, like something is bothering her, but it's a dream and I decide to ignore it and close the door.
      I'm going to the living room. It looks like it should - I guess - I don't look around too much and stay by the door.
      I still find it hard to believe that it's a dream, everything is so realistic as if I'm really there and I think how it doesn't compare at all with the visualizations. I do a nose-plug RC and take three breaths just to be sure, and I can breathe without a problem. I feel really weird because I haven't needed in-dream RC in months, but the dream feeling is so subtle that I can't wrap my head around that.
      I decide to try Tiktaalik's "focusing on the spine" RC.
      Spoiler for Result - don't read if you want to try it too:

      For some reason, I realize I'm naked, but I don't think it's RC related.
      I decide to go outside.
      I'm still aware that I'm naked, but it's a dream, so what. When I go outside, it's a strange feeling, being naked outside, but I don't see any neighbours. The street looks roughly like my street, but I don't examine the details.
      I want to try flying like an airplane (as I've imagined and incubated).
      I run down the street and call out in turn "Airspeed alive", "V1", "and rotate" and jump into the air with my arms spread wide.
      It doesn't work, I don't climb, I fall flat on the pavement, but I don't feel anything.
      I decide to try again, but this time I swap the lines, start with V1, but then correct myself and say them in the correct order and jump into the air again.
      I'm on a street corner somewhere and there are 3 guys, they look British and have Peaky Blinders haircuts. As I'm trying to take off, I jump on one of their backs (still naked). He doesn't look unhappy. I say "hey, handsome".
      He gets me off his back and takes me in his arms. He opens a door that apparently leads to a pub and puts me on a table. I'm not sure if he wants to hand me over to their care/get rid of me, or if he wants to share me.
      I start to feel myself waking up.


      Notes:
      - I am fairly confident this was a WILD, even though I was just barely aware when I felt the vibrations. I don't think I dreamt that, although it's hard to be 100% sure. Anyway, the continuity of going from being in the bed, trying to sleep, and then standing in my bedroom, lucid dreaming, was a total mindfuck.
      - I want to give that "flying like a plane" another try someday, maybe really focusing on the sensation of taking off and imagining it, rather than just saying the words. I have enough real-life flying experience to make it work.
      - I don't know why I steered it towards possibly sexual content, even though it wakes me up.
    7. 7 April - A night of low lucidity and insomnia

      by , 04-30-2021 at 02:01 AM
      1st time being lucid 2 times per night!

      comment non-lucid semi/questioning lucid

      Waking up at 10:00 (falling asleep around 5). Journaling 3 dream fragments.
      Some problems with sleeping. 10:50 postman.

      Hill and a subway
      I am hiking to some hill and I take the subway on my way back. I am worried that I fail to get off at the correct station.

      FA1
      I am in some room, in a guest house, after coming back from the hike. It's the morning and I am putting on a long canvas dress, even though it looks weird and it is cold.

      FA2
      I am again in some kind of accommodation (possibly the same as in the previous dream) but the room is different. I really want to sleep but I am worried that it's too late and I don't know when the checkout time is. Then there is R and he is not worried at all. He offers me some breakfast cereals. I remember I've already eaten them and threw away the box (IRL). I am thinking that he probably hid/put aside some of them. I want him to find out when the checkout is.

      FA3
      I am again in the same room but this time, I am sleeping on a mattress on the ground, close to the bed from the previous dream. R is next to me, taking too much space and waking me up and I am mad because I want to sleep. Then I remember that we actually sleep somewhere else, so I should get enough sleep, even though I am not sleeping here.
      Then the dream shifts to some time later and we are getting up. R is sitting on the mattress. I say "this is a FA" and do a nose-plug RC. I can breathe. But I am still confused and I can't see well. I ignore R (he doesn't exist anyway) and have the idea to find my glasses, maybe they help me with my vision. I go to the bed from FA2, trying to find them. I find it fascinating that I can be dreaming and moving at once. It's like I think I am sort of sleepwalking and the bed from FA2 is my real bed and my body is my real body. I find the glasses but I don't use them - I am thinking that this all is creating in my head so it would be pointless to try to wear the glasses.
      I go to the window, thinking about jumping out and flying. But what if this is reality?
      I go to the door and suddenly, my vision is much better and not blurry at all. I think I woke up (in my sleepwalking body). I do the nose-plug RC again and I can breathe, so I relax. I notice R is watching me and feel bad for ignoring him. I tell him that this is a FA and because he saw me doing the nose-plug RC, I try to show him finger-in-palm RC but it doesn't go through. I try it again, really believing it can go through, but nothing. I think I am really bad at this.
      I finally remember my goal to pass through a wall. But there is no point in trying to go through a wall if I can't make my finger go through my palm.

      I wake up. DEILD attempt failed.

      Time: 12:40
      I can't sleep. Some unstable minidreams.

      MiniWILD
      I can't sleep and I am feeling earthquake-like vibrations. It's annoying because I want to sleep but I am familiar with them and prepare for a separation attempt.
      I stay at our garden door. I slowly sit down, remembering that I need to take things slowly and slowly try to separate. Then I realize I am not in my bed anymore, which means I am already separated.
      The dream collapses.
      Then there is another wave of vibrations. But nothing afterwards.
      I can't sleep...

      I wake up at 13:25, I want to get up. I take another cushion, put my glasses on, trying to find the will for journaling my dreams. But I feel too tired. I put the glasses away and close my eyes... ten more minutes... or maybe a WILD? Falling asleep feels easy.

      PseudoWILD
      I watch HI and daydream a little bit, interacting with the HI and dreamlets.
      At one moment, I notice there is instrumental music in the background. I realize it is in my head and not outside, so I could use it to get into the dream. I focus on the music, trying to raise the volume.
      Through small gaps in my eyes, I start to see a room. It works. But it fades a little bit and I feel my body in the bed (dream body, dream bed). I focus again and I can almost see through my eyes but also not really. I have the idea that my dream eyes are closed and I try to open them. It works. I close my eyes and open them again and my vision is very good.
      I get up, slowly, worried about the stability of the dream, but it's fine and I walk a bit. I am in an unknown room, my dream bed is there and another bed/sofa. And R is here, I bump into him on my way to the door. He blocks my way out, I almost pass through him but not fully. I tell him "you are just a DC, you don't exist" (really meaning "you shouldn't be blocking my way"). He says nothing.
      I take his hand, leading him to the sofa, sitting next to him. He now looks like my brother, J. I say "and that's why you look like J". I feel sorry for him but skip to the only idea I have how to use this dream. "Do you want to have sex?" I ask. He is silent. "Do you want to do something else?" He shakes his head and gives me and an empty look.


      I wake up. The time is 1:51. Interestingly, I feel well and not tired anymore.

      Notes:
      - I struggle with fake insomnia. It can manifest as dreams about not being able to sleep (as above) or I can be in a conscious NREM sleep while thinking I am awake. Basically, my ability to tell the difference between conscious NREM and being awake is almost non-existent.
      - I can't tell if the pseudoWILD was WILD or not. I obviously dreamed most of the "transition". What I perceived as my bed and my body was a dream bed and a dream body (most probably). I can't tell if the music was a HH (then it would count as a confused WILD, I guess) or if it was a part of the dream (so technically not a WILD). But if I lost my self-awareness, I was out for a minute or two, probably not much more. The whole thing took between 20 and 25 minutes.