• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Wednesday, December 19

      by , 12-31-2018 at 10:25 PM
      I am by a bouldering wall. It looks just like the cave wall at Basecamp, even though I am not in Basecamp. I canít quite tell what the setting is, maybe a large room with a padded gym floor? For some reason, it almost feels like a barn or something similar. I walk up to the wall and start checking out a white taped problem. Thereís a word or phrase written on the tape, signifying its difficulty level. I think itís a V10. It doesnít look quite that hard to me. I squat down and grip the starting edge, a chalky white hold. I then move up to an edge that is not that bad when you get your fingers perfectly in its little divets. I make short moves through a few of these. This brings me to the roof, where I have to look around for where to go. I then find it and move up. I seem to be at or above the lip now and the holds seem to be made of something else, like some other object bolted to the wall. The next move is a reach out to a wall (not even a bouldering wall) right by a door frame. The hold is some type of hook or protrusion that one is supposed to grasp with an ice climbing pick or something similar. I think this has gotten pretty ridiculous, so I come back down. I notice a fairly large group seated on the floor; one of them gets up to climb. I think they may have been watching or judging me, as I was taking my time, but choose not to occupy myself with the thoughts, positive, negative, or neutral.
      Tags: climbing
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    2. Tuesday, December 18

      by , 12-31-2018 at 08:37 PM
      I have gone into a building for some sort of surprise party for me. It seems like a restaurant that has been reserved, just one big room. There is a man guiding proceedings as people show up. Melissa and Makayla are here, seated at the long, wood tables, their coats draped over the back of their chairs. Now, about ten people are here, and everything has been moved back against the walls. At the front of the room is a smaller wooden stage. It is very plain. Everyone stands in a circle in the floor space in front of it. I get the impression that weíre going to be running in a circle and jumping/doing tricks off the stage, but we donít. I think weíve been waiting for food too, but it never came. The group now moves down a hallway, and the place looks like an elementary school. I pass inlets in the wall that have some windows and rows of desks. There are pictures and things on the hallway walls that are all Hawaiian themed, i.e. Hawaiian history, that makes me think this may be in Hawaii. We end up in a computer lab and seated again. I think weíre waiting for food, and again it never comes. A guy with light brown skin comments that this event is only a few hours and ending soon, not giving us time for everything. In my head I envision a three hour block? starting at 7pm and us being a majority of the way through it. I now go over to a sink in a counter against the wall (like high school science classrooms). There is a chunk of ice protruding from it. The ice doesnít seem solid, but more so shaved but still compacted together. I run some water over the section under the faucet, inciting it to start to melt. I think Bird Song is playing from my phone during this. It then occurs to me that Iím pretty sure that this is our food thawing out. This room has now transitioned into an unfamiliar kitchen in a house. It looks pretty nice and clean, marbled earth tone counters, stainless steel, and darker wood cabinets, I think. (As I write this, it reminds me of Scott and Kellyís old kitchen). Renee and Kelly are here, one seated and one milling around, and they tell me happy birthday. Renee says she can now get me a glass of wine (as if itís my 21st). I nicely say ďOhÖ you donít have toĒ, but Iím willing to let her just to be polite. I start looking for white wine (as if itís my place) and look all over but do not find any. Iím thinking that they might also want to have some. I end up in a different room of the same house, by Linda, whoís seated at a dark wood table. She starts asking about my favorite red wine, isnít it a blend? I recall what sheís talking about, another get together/celebration where I had/brought different wines. I offer a non committal reply of either ĎI donít knowí or ĎI donít rememberí. I think that if my favorite was a blend that it isnít now. I see she has a personal bottle - the dark label says itís a Lodi Zinfandel. Sheís now asking didnít I throw up at that event, but phrasing it more gently. Dad is here and inquiring the same thing. I again offer a dismissive reply, though I do remember throwing up then (*This event/scenario did not happen in real life). I pass some people what donít have drinks and think that I should go to the store really quick for some wine. In another room now, there is a record playing on a smaller turntable on the brown-carpeted ground in the corner. The song sounds familiar. It then ends, and I go over to put it away, even though I think that was just side one. I think itís the Cranberries or Zombies? (*Though I wake up with Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar stuck in my head). The cover is a dark green with the band name in large letters taking up a good amount of space. Itís at an angle. I think thereís a band photo on the back. I take the record off the platter; itís a marbled dark green and very flimsy. I slip it into its anti-static sleeve. I now leave, driving to wherever Iím going. I end up at an elementary school that I think is right by another elementary school. I park and walk in the fairly large entry way. The foyer is filled with the black retractable crowd controllers that lead up to metal detectors. Thereís a darker skinned younger lady at a counter beside the detectors. Two guys about my age are turning around willingly. I see they both are casually carrying handguns. One has slightly long and stringy dirty blond hair with a messy middle part and thin-rimmed glasses. I think his shirt is tucked, revealing a black holster on his belt. He is not attractive but not completely unattractive. He somehow seems genuine, yet aloof. He honestly looks the type to get unfairly made fun of. Seeing this causes me to pat my pockets. I feel some hard objects in the jean pockets, but nothing Iíd get in trouble for. I continue on, past the metal detectors. The enormity of this place is revealed as I walk through this hallway. There is no way it can be a school itís so big. I canít see an end to the hallway. Besides the size, the appearance is not of a school either. Everything is ornate and looks more like an upscale shopping mall. The walls appear to be white marble or something similar, with subtle niches and rococo. There are vendor carts set up in the middle of the walkway as well. Even they seem classy and opulent. I think the places set into the walls are shops and restaurants. There are quite a few others walking through here. The place has now transitioned into outdoors. I am following a slight grassy ravine with surrounding grassy hills. There are smaller, wispy trees and grasses, all very green. Thereís possibly a trickle of water running through here. Dad calls me now and asks where I went, his tone suggesting it rude that I just left. I tell him Iím picking something up from the store and will be right back. His tone then changes as he tells me that thereís some light or other activity going on in the night sky. I look up and can see it. Iím not sure if itís exactly what heís referencing, but I see brighter circles of light that are close together and moving. Thereís also a splotch of a green hue higher up in the sky. I also notice the Milky Way, probably the densest I have ever seen it appear, and it is absolutely awe inspiring. I have to spend a few moments just staring. Itís so bright that it seems to illuminate the night sky. Itís also currently parallel with this ravine. Off to the right, thereís a group or two of people sitting on a taller hill, also looking to the sky. I start walking back now, and itís daylight again. Dad is with me. I think a dog is with us as well, because I throw a toy. The toy hits and knocks over a small statue of a boy on a slightly overgrown pedestal. The 1-2 foot tall statue was in a row of other statue children, all in antiquated clothing.
    3. Monday, December 17

      by , 12-31-2018 at 08:09 PM
      I am outside, I think by the river walk. I am walking along and above the river as quite a few people float down it. I know a few of the people floating. The river has been fairly mellow, but I see that just ahead it becomes turbulent, steep, and rocky. The water is violently sucked through narrow openings in the dark rock, and I get really scared for a moment, thinking its too late for them to get out of the water and so theyíll be swept away. I then see some sort of tube that they are able to crawl down. Itís not as steep as I thought either, so they can make it safely. I am now down by the water. A portion of it is covered by a bridge or some other wood thatís only a foot or to above the surface. I get into the water and the resulting cool shade. There are some school aged kids in here. Thereís a slight rapid and theyíre jumping/doing tricks down it. I make my way closer to the edge, moving a fishing line or string of some sort out of the way. Suspended on it is a small creature or two, or the remnants thereof. Itís slightly uncomforting. I donít jump, but I slide down the rapid. Iím now in a flat section that I think is the end of the river. I think it is the end because in a few yards it seems to start to drain into the ground below. Water coming from the other direction meets it and drains too, in a slight whirlpool. There are two guys (in red shirts?) standing by it.



      I have been asleep and dreaming when I briefly awaken. Iím just awake enough to be conscious of it, though my eyes are still closed and Iím still lying still. The image Iím remembering of the dream is of an older, bearded manís face (older, but not too old, long hair and beard coarse and mostly brown, but with some gray). I recall this image and try to make it seem real, and it starts to pull me back into the dream state. My body starts to tingle and feel like itís floating. I hear some sort of static/whooshing sound. I see a hypnagogic montage of whitish and wispy outlines of faces against black. It feels like I might be out to enter back into the dream, but I never do, the awareness returning to my body.
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    4. Friday, December 14

      by , 12-31-2018 at 08:07 PM
      I am with Melissa inside somewhere that feels like either a hotel or a house. I tell Melissa that Iíve taken one (psilocybin) mushroom and one tab of acid. There is a ceiling light in this hallway; I am staring at it when the psychedelics seem to take effect. The light is either square or circular to begin with, but it swells in size and becomes ovular in shape. It takes on more dimensionality. The light is a soft white. There are shapes on the surface, amorphous and possibly moving and changing slowly. The more I stare, the more prominent it all becomes. When I look away, the psychedelic visual is gone and the light is back to normal. I tell Melissa what I just saw. She seems like sheís paying attention, but not completely interested. Now we are outside. The building is plain and white, two stories, possibly with a stairwell on the outside. Itís surrounded by a large grassy area. The sky is baby blue, and it seems like a very pleasant day. Thereís a smaller dog out here; we throw a bone for it. There are two bones, and we start throwing them at/towards each other, pretty hard. I end up leaving (because of how hard weíre throwing them).
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    5. Thursday, December 13

      by , 12-31-2018 at 08:06 PM
      I have started a job at Whole Foods. Iím pretty sure Iím still training, but right now Iím just sitting in the break room with the employees in here what are eating. There are a few rows of cafeteria style tables and a fridge or two. I notice that what everyone is eating looks pretty healthy. I think that what I eat isnít all that healthy and think that I might be self conscious bringing it for lunch. Skye is one of the people in here. Iím pretty sure a few people have a beer, like it is acceptable here. Now, it seems like itís almost time to be going back. A guy probably in his mid 20s with a beanie and shorter but dense, darker beard stands in the room and starts telling everyone itís time to get some fresh air. It seems like he doesnít have that much control over anyone right now. Everyone slowly starts to listen, and they start spreading out to all the corners and walls. Someone tells me I want to give myself some space. Now the guy is directing us, though it seems like everyone already knows what to do. The first thing weíre doing is running to the opposite wall. I think they do these group exercises/activities every day before they go back. Now Iím by some girls who are doing an activity that involves different colored counters/pieces. I think you need to guess the order they need to be in, because behind the chair of the girl who seems to be guiding everything is a row of small, colored car counters. I start moving them, and a girl laughs with me because Iím not supposed to mess up the order of them.
      Tags: beer, whole foods
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    6. Wednesday, December 12

      by , 12-31-2018 at 08:03 PM
      It is dark outside and I am downtown. I am entering one of the casinos along with some others coming off the street, with a sense of mild fervor. There is some type of show starting, and I think Iím meeting Mom (and possibly also Makayla) here, inside. Everyone is climbing stairs, dispersing at random intervals. Iím not entirely sure how high to go, so I keep going. I catch glimpse of the seating, auditorium-like, dim. The theater is much taller than it is wide or long, the seating seemingly defying logical proportions. The stage seems to be at least 50+ feet above the floor. I am now just above level with the stage and walk out into the seating. It is like a platform of what could be tan marble with raised (hexagonal?) sections that nicely dressed people are sitting on. I notice one couple in particular - darker skin that suggests an Asian ethnicity as well as darker hues - Iím pretty sure the girl is wearing a longer dress. It is sleek like her longer, dark hair. I continue out to the edge of this platform and take a seat at a corner edge so that my legs can dangle off the edge. Sitting here and looking down through the vast empty space below and around while some show is about to start gives me a sort of ethereal exuberant feeling.


      I am outside, at a sport climbing granite wall that seems familiar. Iím with Dad and 1-2 other guys my age. I think theyíve been climbing, and now Iím going to go last. It seems that there are already too ropes set up here or something, and I comment on how you used to have to set up a top rope yourself if you wanted one. I start climbing, and Iíve been out of it for so long that this easier route becomes fatiguing for me. I do end up making it to the top though. I call down to take the slack and lower, which the belayer does right away. He then starts lowering me very quickly. I feel the sick jolt in my stomach and brace myself, but then relax and accept and enjoy the feeling. In a few moments I am back on the ground.
    7. Friday, Novemeber 30

      by , 12-31-2018 at 08:00 PM
      I am outside somewhere - the slight incline, soil composition, array of granite stones, and surrounding pines suggest Lake Tahoe. I follow a trail down a moderately steep hill. It is not long at all before I reach the bottom and the sandy beach. The best beach spots are some yards away to my left and right. They both are filled with people. Iím looking for a space to pee, but this seems too close to the people, so I start back up. Iím now inside, walking up an enclosed stairway. It is carpeted in a maroon or similar color. I think the walls are wooden, making the place seem older. I still need to use a bathroom and, as Iím coming up another flight, I see one built into the wall right off the staircase. I step in and itís very small, with just enough room for a toilet and sink. I think I use it and then continue on my way. The stairs end at the entrance to a fairly large room. The room is dim and home to a large, square, wooden dining table that takes up a fair amount of itís space. Melissaís family is seated around it, seemingly most of the way through a meal, as I join them. Melissa is across the table from me, but her mom is at the corner right next to me. I notice a few assorted, empty/near empty wine bottles. I also notice everyone, including myself, has a glass with about ĺ of an inch of red wine in it. I wonder why theyíre all filled similarly.
    8. Wednesday, November 28

      by , 12-31-2018 at 07:59 PM
      I am outside, on some seaside cliff. It is dark out, but there is enough moonlight to sense the colors of things and to see the sea gently churning below. I can see the dark mass of shapes floating atop, swaying with the waves. I assume that they are sea turtles. Now, I am in the water, swimming alongside a girl about my age or a little older who seems familiar. These creatures are close, larger than I thought, and seem to have thinner bodies and longer limbs than turtles. The current seems to keep me right close to this girl and the creatures. It is now made known to me that these are not turtles but some kind of frog. For whatever reason, I do not like this. I express this and try to swim away. We end up standing on the fine sand beach.
      Tags: ocean, water
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    9. Monday, November 26

      by , 12-31-2018 at 07:58 PM
      I am outside of Dadís house sometime in the earlier morning. There is still some light, but no color in the sky, and the colors all around are still all subdued. I am getting dressed out here, getting ready for school? Iím in the back, but it seems like the house is higher up on a hill with more of a view of the surrounding neighborhood than it really has. I am watching for the school bus, when I hear the dogs a little ways down the street, at another house. I pull my clothes on and start walking over there. I hear a man talking to them, saying heís going to give them Ďstupid sugarí. His tone is mockingly high pitched and sweet, and I donít like it. I think heís in a shed or something else open to the outside, and I see the dogs sitting by him, looking up at him. The guy looks younger-middle aged and clean cut, wearing jeans and a flannel. I tell him Iím really sorry about the dogs coming over, etc. He seems much more normal now as he tells me that itís no problem.
      Tags: dogs, morning, school
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    10. Saturday, November 10

      by , 12-31-2018 at 07:48 PM
      Melissa and I are having a child. We are somewhere, and this baby is being born not from her but from me. I feel something inside and know it is ready to come out. I let Melissa, who is standing by me, know this. I then give a small push and watch the child appear. It is small and wet, very clearly newborn. The next time I see him, he seems to be at least three years old. He looks very similar to a three year old me. I think that he looks like a combination of the two of us, though without very much Melissa. I see most of her addition in the color of his hair.
      Tags: baby, birth
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    11. 18-12-31 Nuclear Meltdown

      by , 12-31-2018 at 04:53 PM
      I was on vacation with what I think were a bunch of classmates. It must have been over ten years ago. It was at the farm we used to stay at with my family. Suddenly, I noticed a bizarre ray of light on the horizon. It stretched from the ground all the way into the sky. I was like 'oh, no' as ran closer to have a better look. I thought it was a nuclear attack. But then, someone behind me yelled that it was a nuclear meltdown of a power plant. The alarm sirens went off, loud enough to be heard for miles. Everyone got into a panic and ran for their cars to get as far away from the site as possible. So did I. Oddly, I was driving the purple Opel Astra Break my family used to drive in the late 90s/early '00s.
    12. 31 Dec: Encounters, seducing Axman and fashion show

      by , 12-31-2018 at 04:22 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Taking care of a palazzo in some italian town. I have to close the windows at night. Quite a few of them. But I won't sleep there this night, only next one. On leaving I meet Riverstone and as we walk I see a white dog looking sad. He has collar and other accessories but maybe he is lost. I want to feed him something, but I only have fruit and he doesn't want. Then I find a chewing bone in my bag and he goes away all happy with it.

      At some shopping mall, food section, I meet the girlfriend of my ex-boss and an ex-coworker. They pretend not seeing me, but I say hi and they walk to me, although thy and the boss's ex says she is still upset with me. I say I already apologized to her boyfriend. She asks if I come over often. Fridays we could meet. They are on the line to eat at some fast-food shack and I leave them. I prefer to go eat at some other place. I go to the end of their line, bump twice with a tiny lady and she is upset. I say sorry, because I was careless.

      Visiting Axman. He is really, really busy with his businesses, so we hardly talk, he just instructs me to follow him as he talks on the phone. I find out he hired some professional match makings services for busy professionals. He is pissed of because he was matched with a cleaning lady. He didn't even met her, but he says unless she is a secret genius, no way he would ever like her. I think about his idiosyncrasies and how much I detest his superiority attitudes, but despite that I can feel that I am a bit upset that he looking for another woman to love. I don't want to lose my status. I think about how selfish I am being, but still I do something stupid. I think that a sure way for him to never love another is that I kiss him. So when he finally puts down the phone I grab him with my two hands and kiss him. It's a compassionate kiss, because I know how badly he wants it, but it's also for me, cause my ego wants to imprison him forever. And he surely is hungry for me, he accepts the kiss and grabs me and takes me to a nearby couch where we fall over and we make out. I have mixed feelings. First I like, then it starts feeling weird, I feel like I am kissing an octopus with bad breath. He realizes I am not enjoying and lets go of me. Didn't go so well... He goes check his breath.

      Meanwhile I encounter Clara who takes me for a walk outside, where there is a tunnel through some rock and a beautiful forested hill on the other side. She talks about some earthquake that displaced rocks and killed people. Then I recognize this is the place I saw on the news and tell her we should go, this isn't safe. Then notice some fallen rocks and others that could fall at any moment.
      I go inside a building nearby where some VIP event is taking place. A fashion show is happening and I watch it from a balcony on the first floor. Elaine from Seinfeld and a couple other chic ladies are sitting on a couch talking about vanities. I sit with them just to see if they accept me and if I am able to join the conversation. But it is just so empty. Then Licas comes and brings one piece of clothing, a tunic or poncho made of transparent fabric with embroideries and I say she looks like me in my "curtain phase" when I wore curtain like clothes only. We laugh.
    13. Their Usual Senseless Comments

      by , 12-31-2018 at 11:18 AM
      Morning of December 31, 2018. Monday.

      Dream #: 19,005-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      There are threads of my conscious self identity present in my otherwise subliminal state, but only those which include a partial recall of my usage of the Internet for my online dream journal. [dream-related theme in a dream]

      The location is undefined and unknown (to my conscious self), though implied to be where I am currently living. The website that includes my dream journal is unlike any in waking life. There are three main panels, two vertical ones at the top and a horizontal one across the bottom. Its color scheme is mostly cyan and blue.

      I discover at least three comments on my dream journal entries of which are about a year old. Dream journal entries appear in the right panel and comments are in the left. The bottom panel is for website navigation. Each comment is about three short paragraphs in length and from an unknown person. Each comment is asinine and stemming from the usual misconceptions about dreams that plague people and this society as a whole. [reading to increase dream state awareness]

      One comment relates to natural melatonin mediation (as water induction and reinduction), which is also a factor of ultradian rhythm dynamics. However, the gist of the comment is asinine and ill-conceived. The other comments are relevant to so-called lucid dreaming but are erroneous in their assumptions. I will probably not reply to the comments. I am considering deletion without reading it all as all three commentators sound oblivious to the content of my journal. (The monothematic delusion and motivated reasoning of people who pretend to understand the ďmeaningĒ of dreams have been of zero interest to me since childhood because of my lifelong knowledge of the legitimate causes of induction, dreaming, and waking processes.)

      In my focus on the fictitious website, my dream changes into the recurring ďpaper technologyĒ mode. The site now consists of sheets of A4 paper. I turn them as loose pages, being slightly puzzled as to what order they will preserve.



      The recurring distortion of ďpaper technologyĒ has begun to interest me more over the years even though it is solely a factor of the dream state (as much dream content is). There are probable explanations for this anomaly, though there is also a certain level of ambiguity depending on my dream self mode and how much of my conscious self identity is extant.

      Electricity and technology are autosymbolism for the mind in the subception of REM sleep, analogous to neuronal energy and thinking processes (which are otherwise absent in the subliminal dream self mode). I developed reading in dreams in childhood to deliberately maintain focus on the dream state (which I learned from my mother and her acknowledgment of how text in dreams often changes or transforms into random letters).

      As with other induction, dreaming, and waking processes, it is not always preconsciously or interconsciously personified (other than in the last dream of a sleep cycle). ďPaper technologyĒ is probably only a factor of absence of wakefulness as with many dream state factors.


    14. Ice Bergs Ahead

      by , 12-30-2018 at 04:12 PM
      Dream 4:21 a.m. 12/30/2018

      I see a woman, younger than me. about 5'4" oval face, dark long hair with a hint of light brown or red in it. Big hazel eyes with dark large round glasses. I do not know her in real life, but in the dream I seem to have some sort of bond with her. Like I am in love with her or fancy her, or just know her extremely well. Does not seem to be in a sexual way, just more "love" or "familiar person to me" feeling.

      She has a little brother in the dream, about 4-5 years old, smart (like the kid on "Jerry Maguire", intuitive) he's only in the dream as a meet and greet and I do not see him the rest of the dream.
      the boy also had dark hair, short bowl cut style, very rounded face.. could sense a bit of highly charged energy from him, like his cerebral ability of thinking was very strong. but for some reason did not bother me in the dream.

      She also has a crazy ex (boyfriend or husband, not sure which) he keeps coming after her, but never succeeds in what he has planned or does.. it's like he keeps coming and then (poofs or phases out) at the last second.

      She also has a roommate (kind of a jerk, but understandable why) but not really concerned over it. I seem to understand why he is this way and I can see him. about 30-35 years of age, dirty dishwater hair, cut short (bottom of neck, but looks wavy like a surfer cut) I look at him and I seem to notice his crows feet at a young age and the stress lines on his face and I can almost sense that hes been though not just hell and back, but the man never gets a break, something is always going on and hes always in the middle of it, either willfully or not.. (a feeling like) a problem, you don't know is a problem, until you realize it is a problem but then realize your in the middle of it and dunno how you got there, yet somehow you have to fight your way through it. The man seems angry and hurt, but understandably so. (and I seem not to be concerned about it)

      The girl who has "no name" seems to also feel or sense like I do here in the dream, or at least same feelings. I really strong sense we know each-other or were in love with each-other (really not sure how to describe that feeling)

      Every time we went somewhere we ended up were ice was and it seemed almost totally random, but it was always different. a different car, a different spot.

      we were driving along and the "ex" is behind us, feeling like we are being chased. our car falls into the water and we survive.
      then we are just driving down the road and were on an iceberg like landscape and the top layer of ice breaks and cracks. I get out of the car and make my way to the front middle of the windshield. as i reach for her hand. the car suddenly falls into the water and you hear her scream in panic.. somehow I get her out.
      then were sitting there having dinner and then finish dinner and we get into another car and the car slides backwards, and I step on the gas and it just keeps sliding. then the roadway cracks and splits up and we angle into something like a "sinkhole" filled with water.

      this repeats in different scenes and ways at least 30+ times in my head or at least to last knowable count of the event

      we end up in a ice cavern and theres a ice tunnel cut from one of the tunnel boring machines. we follow it and we see an entrance to a ice city. so we walk towards it and she said to me "You seem to be full of surprises at your age"

      Then I wake up and sit up in bed with a feeling, that this was a test of some kind. I dunno if it was a pass or fail, but for some reason, I felt like it was a test of endurance or inner strength or simple a test of humanitarian ability in crisis. either way the feeling was a bit odd.


      ================================================== ====================================
      in real life:
      I am 46 years old married and 6 children all but one out of the house and married 16 years.
      recently moved about 6 months ago into a smaller home.
      I had a dream, that I do not remember, but I woke up and said allowed "no more" and not really sure why at the time. The day continued on as normal.
      after about 2 weeks, I woke up one morning and literally started cleaning "my emotional house" and my "physical one"
      old memories and pains and lost things and the should of would of could of things.
      I woke up and went to walmart and bought a paper shredder
      scanned a few pictures onto my computer from a large chest of pictures and scanned in important things like birth certificates and that sort of thing.
      spent almost a solid week, shredding pictures and documents until I shredded everything. documents, medical, social security, family, kids. just things that only I ever would really care about
      and in the end I felt relieved in a way. It seems like ever since I moved into this particular house.
      It's been a constant state of change and cleaning both physically and emotionally. Not sure why after all these years and it was a conscious choice, until that one morning.
      I bought a photo album and only kept maybe 4 pictures that I felt were important. I threw and shredded every other picture you could imagine, graduations, events, memorabilia,
      I threw away old jerseys and clothes that I kept for keepsakes. quite literally, just threw it all away and shredded it all.
      I went through all my boxes of things I had take with me in 16 years of marriage and I convinced my wife to start cleaning out everything we owned and to my surprise, she was okay with the idea.
      we spent almost a month going through ever box, nick nack. we threw away anything that was no longer needed.
      my wife didn't throw away much, just consolidated her stuff. Myself, well 46 years of things and now it all fits in a shoe-box and maybe only 5-6 things I kept out of all things *keep in mind nothing was "junk" it all had meaning and value.
      I have been here in this new place of residence since June of this year to present. It's amazing just how much crap you can store up in your head and heart and forget about as the years pass and then realize, that you never really dealt with it. Simply life moved on and things just got put away or tucked away and slowly forgotten about over time.
      Like many others I have had more then my fair share of hardships. Since moving here, I have had not even a single one. It's oddly quiet and peaceful now and I have more time then I know what to do with... in a bizarre weird-ish way it seems as foreign to me as the word "vacation" hahaaa

      not sure if the dream will coincide.. to a point in real life. Not really sure.
      In all honesty, this is the first time in all of my 46 years where I have even had time to deal with past things, to stop long enough to even have any retrospection or introspection or insight into my own life, was once I moved into this place. I get the feeling that the dream is a sense or in essence a part of this process.

      I would like to get as many possibilities and input on it from others, to see if someone else gets a similar feel for it or even an off the wall interpretation too. all thoughts are welcome here.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. Electronic Insects and another World

      by , 12-29-2018 at 08:44 PM
      Morning of December 29, 2018. Saturday.

      Dream #: 19,003-02. Reading time: 2 min 20 sec. Readability score: 52.



      I enter an atypical dream scenario in a subliminal mode, but with more of a cohesive storyline than usual. It is a science-fiction theme. It is primarily a result of parallel autosymbolism. It consolidates two autosymbolic dynamics of the emerging consciousness, electricity and flying insects, both indicative of consciousness reinitiation and the neuronal energy thereof as well as blue field entoptic phenomenon by way of (the memory of) supraliminal integration.

      There are scenes relating to the development of robotic flying insects. I do not perceive them as a threat. I watch them fly in the blue sky. They move in spirals and circular patterns, attempting to create a portal.

      Others have conversations about the development of these tiny machines, with the main factor relating to generating enough energy to create a portal to enter another world. The scientists involved seem to think that it will never happen.

      Enough of an emerging consciousness thread becomes present to vivify my awareness and place me in a warehouse as a result (a kind of concurrent ďwaiting roomĒ for the conscious self in REM sleep), which is typically the last setting when it occurs in a long dream, though in this case, an offset dream results, distorting the original theme somewhat.

      While in the warehouse, my imaginary physicality is also more pronounced along with my attention. My subception correlates with the factor of transitional vestibular system correlation (one of the ďcrucial threeĒ that occurs at least once in a dream of each sleep cycle). In this case, it seemingly stems from ďSupermanĒ from 1978; the scene where Superman flies upwards and crashes through the ceiling, though my dream self has no viable memory of such an association while in the dream state.

      I am still in subliminal mode, yet I begin to consider ceiling (upward directed) RAS mediation (as a result of sleeping more on my back than on my left side in this case). (Dream control and inherent awareness of autosymbolic processes are unrelated to lucidity or ďbecoming lucid,Ē contrary to popular misconception and misinformation.) As a result, my dream responds by creating a mason jar full of the robotic insects. Although an unknown companion is holding it, I subliminally create the next scene. (The transitional vestibular system simulacrum remains passive in this event.)

      The jar rises into the air. It crashes into the ceiling and somehow creates a hole that the robotic insects fly up through, and into the sky. Glass shards fall downward, but they do not pose a threat. At this point, my dream jumps into a different form.

      The tiny robots are now able to create a portal into another world (which is merely my dream self becoming more aware of my real environment in this case). From here, I passively watch a few events.

      I am now on another planet with ďaliensĒ that seem like ordinary human beings. The ďinsectsĒ are now (or now controlling) robots that are about half the size of a person and somewhat like a two-tiered pair of cubes incapable of flight. One is watching an unfamiliar man that seems like a Nazi from World War II, and it seems puzzled. These ďaliensĒ plan on using the robots sent to them to conquer other worlds. I try to make the ďalienĒ sound ďalien,Ē but it sounds like an ordinary language from Earth, though the words sound like gibberish to me, as language skills in dreams are not viable enough to create something of this nature. I wake at this point.




      2020 footnote headers:

      [flying insects as neuronal energy]
      [electricity as neuronal energy]
      [transitional vestibular system correlation]
      [transitional vestibular system simulacrum]
      [hole in ceiling as emerging consciousness mediation]


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