• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. 2 dreams

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:52 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)

      3rd person perspective dream. just images of me and jamie walking around at night. we were holding hands and smiling. It's nice to have a dream like that, lately she's been more distant or cold... So this is good.


      I was with a group of people by a mountain. We went inside a house. Forgot what happened. Became lucid randomly in a living room. A bunch of people were on a couple of couches. One guy said, "Who why does the floor keep changing color?" I said it's because this is a dream. I saw a girl sitting on a couch and i like the look of her.Instinct took over and I was going to rip her clothes off. But she vanished. Another girl was lying on the couch, She looked like Bri an old manager that no longer works where I do. I asked if it was her. She groggily said, "yes," and that's when I woke up.
      Tags: floor, jamie, lucid
      lucid , non-lucid
    2. Church

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:50 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm sitting in church with Martin and William. I'm learning some kind of sentance about the sacrament (?) by heart

      Notes: I had to learn a sentance about baptism by heart some days ago.
      Tags: church
    3. Monday, August 24

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:29 AM
      I am in my room, I think with Mom. It is very dark, like it’s night time, and I’m looking at my open closet. Suddenly, a few of the shirts, still on the hanger, are tossed out by some invisible force. Mom and/or I say “Granny.” This doesn’t seem malevolent, but it is fairly unsettling.
    4. Thursday, August 20

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:28 AM
      I am with Dad and going into a Total Wine (*I notice no one wearing masks, but that concept doesn’t seem to exist in this dream). Inside the foyer, Dad runs into one of his friends and they start talking. I now go search for ice cream and find some on the right, about halfway down the store. The store seems to be one long aisle. The ice cream is in different tubs in the vertical fridge. I don’t know if the door is open or if there is none. There is a pecan flavor that I take a bite of and think is good. I am now towards the end of the building and Melissa is here too. There are large, high windows, through which I can see the beginning of the sunset. There are blotches of pink on the darker grey clouds. We all excitedly go out to look, and the building looks like a house now, an opulent house like you might see on a California beach. I look up in awe at the beauty. Dad tosses me into the air and I float up an impossible 30+ feet. He does this a few times, me reaching a new height each time. I notice an in-ground pool in this yard one of the times.
    5. Saturday, Augut 15

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:26 AM
      I am outside with Melissa in what looks like the old house’s backyard (except maybe a little bigger). I think I am wearing only a bath towel. It keeps slipping and I try to keep it on. I’m holding a piece of string that is attached to a kite or some other piece of fabric. It is breezy to windy and I make a comment, mostly jokingly I think, about using this to fly. I then feel the wind tugging the fabric and pulling the string taut and sure enough lifting me into the sky. It is slow at first but I’m soon 20, 30+ feet off the ground. I notice the large lawn and not much else. I can somehow control how high I go and how fast fairly easily too.

      I’m waiting in a line in some building. The building seems larger, wooden (a barn maybe), and somewhat isolated. The line is socially distanced. Julia from work is here and is maybe the only one I recognize. A younger boy, around 10, comes in and Julia tells him he needs a mask on if he’s walking around. He doesn’t seem to like this. When I look again, he’s put some hand sanitizer onto a surgical mask and is putting it on. He then pulls it down and violently sneezes. This causes me to turn away from him and pinch my mask right around the bridge of my nose.
      Tags: mask
    6. Friday, August 7

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:25 AM
      I am in some school building (not sure if it is a college or not) with Melissa. We’re in a fairly long line to get into a classroom. The place seems large and somewhat sterile. There seems to be a man who is overseeing this line filtering into the room. We’re all seated now in rows of chairs - there are no desks. I see how closely we are all seated, us 20-30, and wonder about the virus. I put on a surgical mask and notice only about one other guy with one on. I’m doing it party out of consideration and I think mostly to protect myself. I notice Melissa doesn’t wear one and I can’t tell if she thinks adversely or neutrally about mine. I wonder about the efficacy of it.
      Tags: classroom, mask
    7. Monday, August 3

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:23 AM
      I am in or near downtown with Melissa and Brooke, going into a restaurant. The place is somewhat small and modern looking (sparse décor and a simple counter). The long counter is along the right hand wall, perpendicular to the doors. There are menus above the counter and then seating across from the counter. It’s fairly crowded and I don’t notice any masks (it almost feels like there is no need for it in the dream, as if it’s pre-Covid). We shuffle in and a man comes over to take our order. None of us are ready; he tells us to move somewhere else while we look?, I think to maintain some kind of social distancing. We’re now seated in a booth. I think I’m irritated at Melissa/the situation unjustly, because we weren’t ready. A larger, bald? server comes over and sits at our booth to take our order. Nobody seems ready, still. I sort of grumpily volunteer to go first. I had been thinking of a scotch that sounded good, but couldn’t think of the name. I thought it started with an ‘H’ and even googled ‘Scotch that starts with H’. I noticed Melissa glancing at my phone as I held it somewhat under the table. I never found out what I was thinking of. I tell him “I’ll have a scotch, please. Neat.” hoping he won’t ask which kind or planning to say McCallan 12 year. After a moment he says something like ‘I heard if you put some Amber in it, it’ll make it weak… like Sisolak’. I realize he heard ‘weak’ instead and nicely tell him ‘no, neat’. Melissa is now casually mentioning that Sam plans to break up with her tomorrow over text/FaceTime? She says she’s fine with it and sounds it too. She’s now telling me she got the job at a pizza place. I tell her I’m happy for her. I see a picture of a pizza divided into the 7 days and ask if she’ll have to work every day. She says no.
    8. cxciv. Through the forest with an ally

      by , 11-29-2020 at 10:27 PM
      29th November 2020


      Some part about being in a car with dad and he had an accident or something and then stuff repeated itself. I think it was mostly a light collision but I lost the details.

      (recall gap)

      Another part where I'm cooperatively going around with another dream character (male, stronger?) and we need to reach some kind of extraction point but while avoiding a military presence that's nearby. There was an APC on a hill or bridge and some kind of gunship.

      I remember deviating from the straight trajectory we were on and finding a flatbed with a rocket turret mounted on the flat bit and used the turret to shoot the gunship down or whatever it was. I had a temporary cloaking buff that prevented my detection.

      This part had started off on top of a green-ish hilly type area. Then nearing the extraction point with the military presence there was a forest but there were lots of orange tones, dead leaves and leafless trees. Daytime all the way throughout.

      Then I carried on and met up with the other dream character I was originally with, we were in some city area not far. Grey-ish and concrete-y. There were pits? Some green liquid at the bottom of the pits. Vague recall of tall buildings and cracked foundations and cracked streets, which was where these pits or ravines were. I remember a cage at some point. Either I got stuck there or the other character did.

      There was more to the dream but I took too long to start writing and forgot too many details despite the relatively vivid details of the dream.


      - This dream was originally quite long. Recall has actually not been particularly poor lately, but my DJing has been lacking, mostly because I have been waking up too tired and lethargic and so if I do start writing the recall is usually fading or gone. Also often by the point I realise I could have written something down, I have already slept again since the initial recall or have simply not bothered because it has felt too tiring to try.

      - The area where dad was driving was thematically similar to the remainder of the dream.
    9. cxciii. Into the drawing, Self-aware McGee flying a plane

      by , 11-29-2020 at 10:14 PM
      22nd November 2020


      I was sitting at a desk and there was a piece of paper; it was blank or had something recently drawn on it. I wanted to practice doing buildings and started off with a very simple rectangular one. I wasn't being able to keep the lines steady in any direction, which annoyed me.

      Then, next to this building, I started drawing another building starting with a sloping roof and then drawing in some windows but then quite soon I was drawing these small cross sections in parts of this building and these sections started draw themselves full of complete scenes of what the rooms were like. I kept drawing cross section bits and adding in small details and finding details adding themselves to the drawing. As I kept my focus on drawing, perceptually, it started to feel like I kept getting closer and closer to the paper.

      Very gradually and seamlessly, I entered one of these scenes but I could somehow still see things sort of in cross section, like in a 2.5D platformer game or something.

      I remember a few characters, there was an elephant lady on a bed in a room above or adjacent to the main view/focus; she had some lights on but it was otherwise dark in her room and she was sliding the end of her trunk on a grating to a ventilation shaft; this made noise that scared another character in a different room and I think that character became angry out of embarrassment or something.

      Later on, some bit where there was a nurse character, whose details I don't remember so well. I knocked her on the head with something massive and she went down (through the floor or over a mezzanine?) and something broke her fall, I think maybe me. I remember telling her "you idiot, this is my dream!". In the dream this was meant as some sort of explanation to the confusion she displayed when she realised she was fine after the hit and the fall. Nearby up some steps on a flat tier was a giant cobra, but in the dream I thought it was an adder, for some reason.


      An earlier dream focused on NCIS, but which I don't care enough to make full note of the details. The dream focused on McGee and he was flying a small private jet and then someone is with him passes him a phone, with Gibbs on the line. In the dream it was like in the actual show, in terms of witticisms, humour and timings. McGee was more self-aware as a character than any other and questioned how could it be possible that Ducky and Gibbs were already at the scene in this other country he'd now be landing in at.


      - In the first dream, the whole thing reminded me a bit of the type of crazy and silly drawings in "finding Wally". I went through a few of those books quite often when I was younger. I don't know where those books are or if they were thrown away.

      - A lot of detail was missing from my recall but the from the moment the scenes started being filled in as I drew cross sections and windows, there was a huge amount of ornamental detailing to the scenes that made them feel overly complete.

      - I haven't seen a snake in my dreams for a while and I don't think I'd ever had an elephant in a dream before (hm, which also has a "snake" on its face?).

      - There was some kind of dark and red-ish lighting to the room/area the giant cobra was in.

      - The nurse did elicit some type of pre-lucid awareness, especially considering my remark to her confusion.

      - I slept quite poorly. My neck and lower teeth were aching as I wrote my notes and afterwards.
    10. School, Church, and Karl Urban

      by , 11-29-2020 at 09:00 PM (Oneironautic Escapades)

      I am back in my old grade school. All of my old classmates are there, we are all dressed in our uniforms. But we are all our current ages. It's like a combination of a class reunion and an assembly/lunchroom gathering. All the teachers are treating us like kids, all the classmates are acting exactly like they were when we were younger. I say the word Ass while talking to a teacher and the whole table gasps and the teacher starts to get mad. I seem to be the only one who knows I'm 32. I sarcastically ask her, what??? Are you going to do?? Give me a detention?? Ha! I kind of shout that we are all between 28 and 32 but no one seems to have changed. Everyone is exactly who they were when we were kids. I am partly disgusted by everyone's demeanour. The first girl I met when I was visiting my middle school as a kid was there sitting next to me. I try to talk to her but she is visibly bothered with my attitude and thinks I am bad for cussing. It figures.

      In school an older woman lets me play her musical instrument which resembles a hang drum, only the underside has many springs in it. She tells me she bought it for $8 and was able to tune the springs to make good sounds. I love playing it because it sounds awesome. She tells me I can have it because I obviously enjoy it more than she does. I take it apart trying to figure out how it is a chair. I cannot get it back together and once the lady is gone I cannot get it to make the nice sounds again. She has it in her car for me to pick up when I leave.

      I was friends with Karl Urban. As a joke we spray tanned his face and dyed his hair blonde. It was funny and he was in on the joke. We were both dressed like cupid and running around the school like idiots laughing.

      I have the datsun car, it is parked at an old school. It has been broken into while I was in school and the windshield is broken and one of the change holders was unscrewed and taken.
      While driving to Bob Evans, Karl was in the car with me. I notice the glove compartment has a dollar hanging out it and open it. It is filled with money. Various denominations all in bankroll paper bands the largest I found was 20 $50 dollar bills. I told Karl I just found a thousand dollars. I am super confused because the car was running when I came back to it so I assumed I was robbed. But there was all this money in the glove compartment.
      I gathered that maybe someone stole the car for a ride/escape and stuffed a bunch of money in the glove box as a sort of 'sorry' for the repairs before returning it to the parking lot where I had it parked.
      We are driving and I tell him to go back to the lot because I forgot to get the pan/chair stool the older lady told me I could have. We go back and I get the pan, Karl is confused because it doesn't look like a pan, I took it apart and can't get it back together. I take it anyway.

      I gather we are supposed to meet some people at Bob Evans, but there are 3 Bob Evans close to us and I don't know which one they have gone to. No one is answering my calls. We go to one and I walk around the crowded restaurant. I don't see them so I call the other restaurant from the lobby. I ask the hostess if they have anyone by the name of our friends and she kind of scoffs like 'how would I know' I ask her if there is any sort of sign in sheet for people she is taking. She says no. I am frustrated so I hang up.

      I am at a church waiting to go in. There are tons of old ladies.
      We are standing along a border fence that's really just a tall wired fence with huge gaps in it.
      2 mexican boys try to make a run for the fence (from our side) and I know they are being watched so I try to encourage them not to do it. One changes his mind one tries anyway. The police run after them.
      Church opens up and the people standing in line all file in while the border police are running the other way to get the kid trying to jump the fence.
      When I get inside I notice one of those interchangeable letters poster boards with the lines on it. There was a post-it note on it warning people not to change the letters. They were all mixed around to make funny statements, something along the lines of the Taco Lord is Coming to Save us All.
    11. Randomness

      by , 11-29-2020 at 05:36 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #546 DILD Early

      This is pretty much a garbage dream but I think it's worth making an entry.

      I am walking around in some building with many halls and doors. I notice the dream gets dark and I feel sluggish for no reason. I feel afraid at first but then I remember this is common in dreams and become lucid. I tell myself to relax. I wake a little to SP. My wife's arm keeps hovering over my face (hallucination). I try to bite at it to make it go away then my head starts shaking violently. The effort of it all brings me out of it and I wake up.
    12. Minecraft. Discord. Halo.

      by , 11-29-2020 at 10:42 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I play Minecraft and use a wooden hoe to destroy some wooden blocks. I find some kind of treasure inside but Gustav comes and steal it. I become a bit mad and walk to another location. I dig some more wooden blocks with my hoe and it goes really fast. I find one more treasure under the wood but Gustav takes it again. I dig into the ground and find a cave. There are a lot of monsters there. I jump around, kill some of them with my sword and get a lot of EXP. I get up to over lvl 2000. I dig some more and find another cave. Gustav is there. I hit him with my hand and he kills me with his diamond sword. I am angry with him because all my EXP disappeared and he stole my things before.

      Notes: I don't know why I dream about Gustav being mean to me now and some dreams ago. We had thanksgiving dinner yesterday with Bernpaintners.

      I'm in some kind of dark place with Diego, Edvard and David. We all have laptops and try to join a discord call. Diego's new friend Albert is also in the discord call but not physically with us. Edvard asks Albert if he can become the leader of the call. Albert says sure and gives Edvard the leader role. Edvard drags some application to the call and everyone gets Zerg, Protos or Terran cartoon background pictures. I get a Zerg picture of a cartoon Zergling. We all close our laptops. After a while we reopen them and Albert is still on the call. Diego says that we should all have a prayer and asks Albert if it is okay. Albert says it is okay.

      Notes: I just met Albert three days ago. It's probably why he only was present in the call. I heard William played StarCraft II some days ago.

      I play some kind of Halo game with Jonathan and Oscar. Jonathan and William use some kind of launcher that shoots containers. They try to hit targets that are being dropped from a very tall building. When they hit the targets a multiplier score thing is showed in the top of the screen. When they miss it disappears. They shoot some and are able to get the multiplier up to X72. I tell them that they can't miss now because of the high score multiplier.

      Notes: Jonathan and Oscar wanted me to play Halo with them during Diego's party three days ago. I met the Håkanssons' yesterday. Diego was baptized. Diego is the only one that pray in my dreams it seems like.
      Tags: angry, cousins, gaming
    13. Random Fragments and Fair Skin

      by , 11-28-2020 at 11:19 PM (Oneironautic Escapades)

      I'm in a large dimly lit room with various beds and chairs in it. I notice an old friend Micheal laying towards the back of the room across some chairs. He's using clothes to keep warm while sleeping. I shake out a large heavy blanket for him to sleep with and drape it over him.
      There's a rough looking english guy who looks like ed sheeran sitting on the couch leaning on a girl who's laying on one side. She doesn't like it. I make fun of him for it, he gets an attitude with me so I mock a British accent singing the Beatles "she don't caaaare, she don't care". She likes me. We end up cuddling and making out.
      She mentions having a troubled past. At some point we are making music that's sort of punk and I'm yelling lyrics. It's still night time but I know no one who is sleeping will mind.

      Something south park related

      I am watching a livestream of some girl. She gets knee'd in the face and the phone gets picked up and the stream goes dead. I am concerned for her even though I don't know her. I tell Matt Smith who is suddenly around. All I remember is the address on the screen which said 305 S th. I tell him and he does some sciencey thing to locate her. We are at a strip mall and walk outside. She is sitting at a park bench across the street. I find it incredibly lucky. She has blue eyes and straight dirty blonde hair, she is dainty and fair skinned. I am enamoured. She assures me I don't want to get mixed up with her. But we are still concerned for her well being.

      Dodgeball tournament mixed with overwatch.
      They take all of our things in our pockets and put them all together before the match.
      We win barely
      I remember I was kind of rude to the Symmetra and knock her off the second story rail with my shield. I don't play rein usually but somehow we win. I am confused. I apologise to her after the match saying it was nothing personal.
      The coach of the other team is kind of mad at me for beating his team. He complains they were going to make state finals and his team worked so hard to get to where they were. I am walking to my car and I see the fair skinned girl again. I invite her to come with. I don't have my phone and have gathered it went missing in the big pile of peoples things. There is a nokia in my car I call the coach on. I assure him everything will be ok and I am sorry his team lost. But I am sure they will do better next time. He is surprised I am so supportive of my competitors. I wish them well and tell him I lost my actual phone at the competition, I say goodbye.

      She is now completely nude standing over me. I motion for her to come here. She lays on top of me straddling one of my thighs. She is petite and incredibly soft. I just caress her skin from the neck down her back, her arms and sides and legs. I tell her I cannot believe how soft she is. And I could just touch her skin all day, I count her freckles down the side of her body. She is comforted and we just lay together in each other's arms. Nothing sexual, more sensual. We are incredibly close.
    14. VR Headset Experiment

      by , 11-28-2020 at 04:31 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #545 WILD and DEILD chain 5:45am

      I do a quick WBTB and focus on WILD by putting my awareness on a spot on my forehead. There was probably some loss of awareness but as things start getting dreamy and I manage to bring myself back. There was little to no vibration this time; if any at all. Just a slight feeling of a chemical change in my head. I exit
      I walk around the house a bit and remember I wanted to put my VR headset on in a lucid so I appear in the back room and quickly put it on. One screen was green and the other red for a moment and I worry that I will had some garbage visuals and lose the dream to darkness. Instead of letting that thought take root, I say, " Common. See! Really look and see."
      I am now in a vividly colorful jungle looking at various colored poison dart frogs. The more I look at them the more they are morphing into snakes. I don't know if I'm weirded out or just want to keep the dream moving along but, I decide to just bite ones head off and walk away.
      Suddenly I am now having sexy time with my wife and I lose my focus. However, there is very little sensation.

      I wake a little and DEILD. Definitely no vibration. The dream just forms and I'm lucid but not sure how locked in I am so I kind of let the scenario play itsself while I ask the DC dumb questions. It rarely give anything interesting and I'm not sure why I wasted LD time on it. Still interesting I suppose.
      Anyway, its some woman talking to me and I'm stupidly taking DJ notes so I'll remember what she's saying. Of course I don't recall much. She's going on about Dr. Dodope (or something like that) taking her car keys and then getting suspended for it. I keep asking her questions to lead her on to finish telling me her story but none of it makes a whole lot of sense. I keep writing notes.

      I wake a little. This time I remember my dream goal and visualize walking around the house once more. Once I'm in the dream (zero vibration or feeling of change) I start transforming into a werewolf by the front door. I see my hand change and I feel my hind legs change and grip the floor behind me. I start making the motion of running on all fours like an animal. I can feel it but the visual of the dream is stuck still at the front door. I growl a deep monstrous growl to get the dream going but it doesn't work. I start howling instead but I'm still stuck. Then I wake up and think I should probably write some of this down.

      I end up having to get up and go to the bathroom for a bit. I lay back down to WILD again. I have a few close moments of success but I lose my focus and have non lucid dreams the rest of the morning
    15. Chosen by a Bear

      by , 11-28-2020 at 03:40 AM

      A set of recurring bear dreams.

      Mid October, 2017

      I was in a variation on my aunt F and uncle C's house where a party was being held. There were so many strange and quirky characters there that it felt more like an indoor carnival. In one room I met a woman who was the caretaker of a semi-trained bear. People took turns meeting the bear, warily, before leaving, fully amused by their encounter. It was a black bear, small as bears go but still large enough to do some serious damage if it wanted to. It followed me around in particular and it kept resting its head in my lap every time I sat down. Each time I would feel a little on edge despite its outward displays of affection. I was worried about making the wrong move and setting off its wilder instincts. After the fourth or fifth time I started to even feel annoyed, not wanting to have to stay on my toes all the time. The caretaker woman seemed to sense my annoyance and she came up to me saying, “It is a great honor to be chosen by a bear.” I wandered out of the room, thoughtful, but not entirely convinced.


      Thursday Night, 11/7/19

      See "The Jaguar Woman" entry.


      Tuesday Night, 6/30/20

      I was someone else, a man in his 40's I think, outside at the edge of a forest as dusk was approaching. I morphed to resemble my waking self. I began climbing a large arbor for some reason, treating it like a jungle gym. While I was up there, I discovered a baby elephant hanging from its trunk in the arbor I was climbing. I stared at it for a while, confused by how it got up there. It changed into a bear cub. Das showed up. He thought the baby bear was cute and wanted to pet it indefinitely. I began to think about the implications, however, and I started looking around nervously for the mother. It appeared to be alone out here, but I was still wary.

      "We shouldn't have put our scent on the cub." I told Das, "The mother will smell us and get angry if she's around."

      Das shrugged. "I'm not worried. Look! He wants pets!"

      I sighed and edged my way down the arbor. "Come on." I said, trying not to be too loud, "It's almost night time, we need to leave the forest now if we want to get clear of wherever the mother bear is at." I started creeping quietly away from the arbor and towards a sparser area of trees.

      Das shrugged again but reluctantly stopped petting the cub and trailed along behind me.

      I started to hear sounds in the bushes and a low rumble, and I realized the mother bear had arrived. For a moment I picked up the pace but continued to try to be as quiet as possible, hoping we might somehow get away before it finished locking onto our location. I searched my mind for what to do in case of a bear attack, and I remembered to play dead. The mother bear showed herself, blocking our path. I realized we weren't going to make it. The bear roared angrily and charged at us, knocking down Das first. Then she ripped into me (which didn't hurt as much as one would expect) and I got to see my intestines, right before my right eye was detached from its retina and everything went dark. I woke up. "Damn it Das..." I said out loud.


      Thursday Night, 11/5/20

      I'm talking with my parents outside on the deck when an adolescent black bear wanders into our back yard and we notice it has an abscess on the right side of its head. My mom wants to go over to it and treat it. I'm also worried about the bear's health, but I do not think it's a good idea to go up to it like that. I suggest maybe calling a wildlife center instead. "I have some leftover antibiotic ointment from when the cats were sick, I'll go get it!" My mom says and goes back into the house. My dad laughs at us and goes back inside to the other side of the house.

      I follow my mom and try to get her to reconsider, but she doesn't listen to me. "Well, here it goes!" She starts heading back outside with the ointment.

      "Mom, no!"

      My mom jumps a little, startled. "Ah, you scared me!"

      "You should be scared, it's a bear!" I look away for a moment, wondering about the wildlife center idea again, but when I look back I see that my mom is way out in the yard heading towards the bear.

      For whatever reason I decide I have no choice but to do things my mom's way now. The least I can do is try to mitigate the danger so she doesn't get attacked... But this is probably a bad move. I head outside and my mom is scaring the bear towards the fence and towards me. I'm worried it will feel cornered. I backtrack a little and grab a bag of cat treats as it's the only thing I can get to quickly. I manage to get the bear's attention with the food, tossing a handful of treats on the ground in front of it to distract it. My mom comes up behind the bear with the ointment. The bear finishes the treats very quickly so I keep having to scramble to get handful after handful ready. I'm worried about the gaps of time where the bear might get aggressive. "When I say stop, stop until I can get more treats." I tell my mom, convinced the bear needs to be distracted with the process eating to not notice her. It's a dubious plan to begin with but I'm clinging to it.

      My mom is applying the ointment to the bear, but I'm struggling to get the next set of treats out of the bag. The bear is slowly starting to look up. "Stop." I say. My mom does not stop. The bear looks directly at me with dark black eyes. "Stop, stop." I say again. Still no response from my mom. I imagine I can see impatience developing in the bear's expression, although it's hard to tell. "STOP!" I'm trying not to be too loud, but I'm starting to panic. I finally get the last of the treats out of the bag and toss them on the ground.

      "Done!" My mom exclaims cheerfully.

      "Mom, get inside, quick." I say anxiously. I make sure she makes it inside while the bear's still eating, then I go in myself and close the screen door first. Why am I bothering to close the screen door first? It's not going to stop a bear and I'm wasting time... I think and close the sliding glass door as quickly as I can. I can see the bear standing in the yard, eyeing the bag in my hand as if annoyed there are no more freebies.


      Monday Night, 11/23/20

      I'm in a building I don't recognize. My dad is there and says something very mean to me, although I can't remember exactly what it was or why it happened. Rather than feeling hurt or scared, I suddenly feel a deep anger come up as the full implication of the words sink in. "I am not stupid." I yell powerfully. My dad disappears but I yell it again. It seems to be irrelevant that no one is around anymore. I can see out a window onto the unfamiliar street outside. It's night time and raining a little. I still feel the anger, like a raw energy. I open my mouth and a bear's roar comes out, a guttural rumbling. I stop, confused at the ability to make such a sound and feeling self conscious, thinking people will think I'm weak for being too emotional and sounding ridiculous. Then I decide I don't care, even if anyone was around to hear. Twice more, I let out the bear's roar which resolves into a more human sounding scream. The dream fades.

      Updated 01-11-2021 at 11:08 PM by 17503 (fixing broken link)

      non-lucid , memorable
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