Recent DJ Posts

Summary:

During Bed
Meditation
Lucid moment


I'm gonna type out what I remember while I can since there was a blackout not that long ago. Who knows if there'll be another blackout from the storm or not? So I'll just type out my thoughts and experiences while I can.

Last night I didn't really sleep. Well I laid there on the bed, felt my body sleep and also noticed that I dozed momentarily once or twice. Perhaps less than a minute even. I actually tried a bit of wild phase right after just to see if it works. It didn't since I was pretty awake but I'll give myself credit for trying right away, because if it was a slightly deeper sleep, it would have definitely worked for sure. I didn't really try to lucid dream though, just you know, relaxed and stuff.

I meditated before bed, maybe a little too well and that might have been the cause of non-sleep. But I did feel rested though. It's just that I was conscious in almost its entirety and noticed the two times I lost consciousness briefly. So it wasn't all that bad really. Actually it was great. Since I had a goal before of meditating the whole night instead of sleeping or trying to do something like that but I never really got around to it. And sitting up the entire time probably would have been uncomfortable. So this was probably a blessing in disguise.

So I didn't even really dream there I laid down about 3-4 hours. There wasn't any dreams, just this calm awareness. It was like a residue of what I did for meditation.

The meditation was just noticing myself being aware of stuff. And if I noticed I got distracted, I didn't get mad or upset. I just told myself, you can do this, you can do that, you can feel anything you want, but just notice yourself feeling those things. And I just felt any focus, attachments, feelings, tensions, but it eventually led back to an energy welling from me. It's like a spiral of vibrating energy and if it's moving about like a storm, then my emotions also feels like a storm. Before I tried to change it, it worked sometimes, but this time I just try to notice it... Just noticing the stuff going on in me. Sort of like sivason's dream yoga guide on the sound, but instead I just focus on that.

So I decided to get up, took 2 short naps later on when I did feel tired. Haven't taken naps in a while but I did.

Oh yeah I also meditated in between. I just meditated until I released this torrent like feeling from my body. Sometimes it took longer, sometimes shorter but I just did it until I was satisfied. Then some very short mantras if I felt like it.

First nap had no dreams, but it felt like hours, when it was only about 20 minutes.

Second one I had a dream, I became aware at the very end. But I couldn't maintain myself in the dream as it collapsed upon my lucidity. I tried though. I tried to grab things like the carpet or the fuzziness before me, but I couldn't grasp onto anythign really. And it slowly became more fuzzy like the TV when it was no signal. I could have retrospectively, tried to DEILD or phase, but I suppose I was distracted by the emotion of failing to pull myself back into the dream. My mistake there.

Dream:

I was inside a house, it had sort of like a daycare thing going on. I was on the first floor and I remember seeing Jack there and his mom was to his right. They were by the stairs so that's how I noticed that it was the first floor. We were talking bout something related to money or something similar. I do recall I was playing wit hthe little kids earlier but right now some of them just decided to jump on me on my back. They all jumped on me and I fell on the floor with like an army of them covering me and it was so heavy I couldn't breathe. I felt like a feeling there. It was like a feeling of frustration, a thought process like, "why is this happening to me?" And my body reacted naturally, or my mind perhaps, just went to that noticing the awareness thing I was talking about earlier. And I was present and questioned this circumstance. And I thought "Oh it's a dream" and I felt the dream beginning to get destabilized. Maybe it's because of the agitation from being jumped by kids, maybe it's because the meditation process in the daytime isn't complete. Maybe I'm getting emotional and switching from unaware to this noticing mode too quickly and that could be a reason why it woke me. Or maybe it was just that I was near waking that I got lucid. But I tried to grab onto something just to touch. There was a TV in front of me maybe about 50 inches. It was placed pretty low, just slightly above the ground, as if it was placed conveniently for the kids. But things started to get fuzzy and I began to lose the sense of touch and vision and I couldn't grab on anything. So maybe I should have tried to rub my own hands here. Or immediately tried to DEILD here.

The house looked sort of like their place btw, but it wasn't the same, and I knew that it was in a different city. The house was newer.

I'll expand more if I remember anymore.

Oh yeah, when I didn't get any dreams initially, I thought that I'd just maybe write down some dreams from last couple of days. Since I didn't expand on those dreams if I didn't have enough dreams maybe I should type them out since I said I'd DJ everyday.


just excessively long trailing thought:
The reason, now that I think about it, as to why I dreamt about being jumped by kids is likely from a thought I had during the day or the day before. I noticed that I had a passing thought and it wasn't a pleasant thought but I think I did the light version of my all day meditation and just stuck with the feeling. It was about adults when I was young child and how I was treated unfairly and just calming the feeling that feeling and noticing it. I felt that those adults back then, incompetent teachers that didn't give a rat's ass about their students, they were actually still children. They were all children, they just didn't fully grow up and wanted a high paying job that was easy to get, with great benefits and guaranteed high wage in this country I'm in. They didn't think about actually teaching the future generation of kids, and perhaps inspiring them to greatness. But then who doesn't look for an easy way out? No they were just nearsighted, but then again how can I blame them? And that kind of way of looking at them just released some of these negative feelings, memories I guess. It was them, the kids, jumping on me figuratively, but literally in my dreams.

How can one even know when they grow up? How can they have a chance to grow up? Society's weird, it's unnatural and critical thinking appears to be discouraged in assignments. It's like they are implying... "you memorize these things right here, we know everything and you don't." But in actuality we really don't know much about anything. Just a speck of dust in the vastness of the universe.

Maybe the problem with the school system is that it lacks the chance to provide people to actually grow up? Maybe society as a whole. Maybe it's because humans used to live in small tribes and now we're all connected in this social media age. It doesn't have that sense of mystery anymore. A chance to explore and discover things for yourself. Instead you're just forced to learn things their way.

But some folks really do thrive well in how things are...

So that got me thinking, perhaps it's something you are suppose to instill in children at a very young age to make this story of life entertaining for kids really. That something is the mystery, the sense of wonder. Maybe at a very young age 2-5, by then you're suppose to expose them to the most advanced scientific concepts to them. To synthetically install the "unknown" they could discover and explore later into their lives. In contrast to the expected sameness of what is expected from an citizen of society. Things like quantum physics, astrophysics, sort of thing and even environmental sciences. We don't make them solve it right away, as children. But just to implant these ideas into them. A mystery, a puzzle for them to solve in their lifetime. Can you imagine if every child was exposed to those ideas? They can conceptually understand these difficult ideas at a young age, and at their later years, they could learn the foundations, the calculations, all the factual stuff they could learn later in their lives. As opposed to what we're doing right now. Job to make a living, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher... And they do exactly that. And they get that, but it's for the love of money.

And the world is changing is it not? These jobs, like a doctor, especially a surgeon, would soon be replaced with AI, that wouldn't make the human error of cutting the artery by mistake during an operation. Or problems of misdiagnosis. At first, the manual jobs, then the high paying jobs. And then what is left? If all of the jobs are gone, then what would become of their purpose?

Is that scary? Or is it sort of beautiful, wonderful if we could direct humanity in the right direction? Instead of following greed, like holding technological and medical advancement at hostage by buying up patents so you can stay at the top of the food chain. But don't you die one day? Maybe even because you halted progress, maybe medical, that very progress might have saved your life.

Couldn't it be so much more wonderful though? All the menial jobs are taken care of by AIs. And if we all learned to work together, and strive to extend our scientific and spiritual knowledge. Can you imagine a future we have created, and now live and thrive here on paradise earth?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA/AP

I am at some old industrial offices or at the bridge of a ship, really unclear, but there is a Japanese guy I know and for whom I have a crush. He is the captain and he is studying some charts. There is a sense of urgency and gravity. The place is a mess, it hasn't been working for years, most stuff is boxed and pilling up without apparent logic. But I worked here before and I know more or less where some things are. Right now the captain needs desperately some millimeter graph paper sheets to make some navigational calculations on it. He is out of his mind because it is impossible to find it in this chaos and no other person has a clue to where it could be. But I say I can find it. He puts all his faith on me and I follow my intuition based on where I saw it last time and most likely places where these blocs of paper could be. I try three places and he is starting to lose faith, but at my 3rd attempt I open a cabinet and below some boxes with bottles of wine, I find a box with the blocs he so needs. He is beyond thankful and I immediately enter into his very restrict circle of trust.

I am jogging across an industrial area. I come across a couple teenage girls playing with a ball. They decide to run alongside me and I realize they wanna race me. But not in a friendly way, they kinda wanna mock me by making me feel old and out of shape. But I accept the challenge. I control the ball they left behind with my mind and I make it jump around and follow us just to creep them out. At the end of the road there is an abandoned toll booth and I make the ball shoot across the window and break the glass. They freak out and go after the ball because they don't want to be caught by the security guys. I use the chance to disappear. I cross a warehouse that opens to the main street but there is construction work at the street where I usually go out to take the subway, so I have to go through another exit to be able to enter the street. The subway is inaccessible but there are replacement shuttle buses. I meet a friend (I think it's Zilla) at the bus stop and we look for the right bus for us, number 3 I think. I realize I am not wearing a mask and look up for one in my backpack. After I put it, I look for seats but all are taken and I spot a couple of our friends right in the first seats. They are actors, most are not famous, except for Paul Rudd who is among them and managed to stay incognito because he is also wearing a mask. We salute playfully and then we overhear a couple ladies talking something about Laura Dern. Paul looks at me like "I need to say something". He will expose his identity if he does, but he doesn't care. He addresses the ladies to correct the story they were telling. Says he knows her and was there on that occasion. They freeze in embarrassment but they are also excited because it's Paul. They recognize him but can't name a role he played. I want to tell them he is Ant-man but he looks at me like "please don't say it".
On reaching our destination we make an appointment to meet at Govinda restaurant. I am supposed to go there for some business meeting and then they will join me afterwards. It is important for me, I think I will be offered a job. I just need to take a shower and change clothes. But I cross paths with Marco in front of a building. He looks very good and he is adamant that I have to come drink a coffee at his place. I say I can't right now but apparently he lives at this high end building right ahead. He does not accept a no for an answer so I go, but insist I need to be quick. At his place he starts seducing me and I don't want to fall for it, but I do. He is being irresistible. He kisses me or I kiss him, it is hard to tell and with almost just one movement he gets my clothes off. I insist I can't, that I have to go to an appointment, but I lose control and don't care anymore. I feel a bit self-aware as I put on a bit weight, but he does not care, he is a big guy. He grabs me against the wall with total ease and penetrates me. Let's say he is big in all senses. It hurts a bit so then he lays me on the carpeted floor and asks me if I am ok. He continues more gently as not to hurt me. I kick a popcorn bowl he had on a glass table to our left. I make a big mess. His house is intelligent so a tv screen turns on and his AI asks if he would like it to clean up the mess. He says not now, but I sense he is a bit disturbed with the mess. His house looks like an immaculate temple and I am all sweaty and covered in popcorn. When we are done, he immediately cleans up everything and I go take a shower which I desperately need. He offers me a beautiful dress for me to wear, so I can still go to my meeting if I want to. But now I don't want to go. I plan to take him to bed once I am cleaned up and just stay there the rest of the day with him.

I'm sitting on a train/bus of some kind. There are challenges where we collect point. I have collected 2 points. There are some challenges only girl can do so they all have 4 points each.

Notes: I watched The Silent Revolution yesterday. I think the bus/train I sat in came from there.

I'm tired and thinking if it is a dream. There are some weird patterns showing and I get a bit scared. I try to wake up but remember that it's only a dream. I try to keep myself in the dream but wake up.

I'm in a big house with some evil and good people. The evil person is able to kill us all and a good guy disables him and transform him into ash. The good guy takes the ash and throw it into a water pool next to us. The evil person survives and starts to chase us. We run away and I ask the good guy what the different fighting styles are called. He doesn't know.

Notes: My brother played a game yesterday and I saw a water pool there.

Summary:

DJ everyday in 3 stages (23rd)
Weekly/monthly recall
WBTB ideas (on off)
good things come in 3s
dreams (school, Un kid prank, pear, lucy. Lion lady transforming)
Notice the awareness


Thoughts
Just some monologues to type out my thoughts and ideas I learned, interesting dreams not included.

Maybe I need to up DJ game again. I'm not progressing right now. I'm just not thinking lucid dreaming stuff enough.

I need meaning. A reason. Something to...

A way just to immerse myself in lucid dreaming stuff again. And maybe DJ is the best way. Maybe not, but I will try it out once again.

A meaning... as in a way to attach myself to the dream, because dreams have been feeling rather... dull? Maybe some are fun, even meaningful but it's bland. Weekly lucids, but bland. But maybe it's because I'm not giving my dreams the love they deserve? A way to think about it, the dreams, and seeing/recalling them in my mind to impress more of myself, my sensations into dreams, that's what's lacking maybe.

It's been a while though, since I've posted here. twice I had a break from lucid dreaming. Once from a injury, and it just stopped dreams for a while. And another time I was preoccupied with something. But posting on DV was pretty helpful for a very strong recall I think. The fact that someone else might read your DJ and notice every typos and stuff like that is helpful. It's helpful because it forces me to read it over again to edit and that reading over it really help reinforce and strengthen the recall it seems.

3 times? Recalling dreams 3 times a day seems to be a sweet spot to keep recall in a strong state. I will try to do that. I remember my best recall was created by that. I wrote them down in steps:

Jotting- after fully awakening and remembering all dreams, jot them in a few words
Writing- expand and recall the rest of the dreams and write them down in the middle of the day, just type it out real quickly from the notes
Digging- try to dig deeper from the plot before, recalling anything that's been forgotten (also attach meanings to dreams)

I'm just not doing the second and third part of what I used to do as much. But that it was such a good way to improve recall.

And I should honestly begin to do that again. And I will. I'll do all that for a week, till the 23rd.

I should also do a weekly review of dreams or something like that. It's something I wanted to do before but never did. Maybe a weekly or monthly review of things I've written. Doesn't even have to be very long, it can even be just skimming everything in the past week or month, and it would only take 5 minutes to do that right? As I'm typing this, please be convinced. DO IT! FUTURE ME! I BELIEVE IN YOU! DO A WEEKLY REVIEW AND POST IT ON THE 23RD! And maybe even a monthly review. I know, I know... it might be chore, some people may make snide comments about your DJ, but that's ok just for a week, and see how it goes. Just do it for a week, you might actually enjoy it. You can stop it anytime after the week if it sucks. But you know that it'll improve your recall tremendously. Thanks and love you!

What else? WBTB?

Experimented with it. I've tried asking lucid dreaming advices from different people. But they've said it's (experimenting is) bad and that you should stick to one thing. But you know what? I realized you should do what you should do. Everyone needs to experiment and figure out what works for them. And that person's advice just didn't work for me. Maybe they don't experiment because they are lucid all the time, every time now. But I'm pretty sure they've experimented in their years of non lucidity and they've just forgotten about it, about trying out different stuff and figuring it all out.

I've found that spacing out WBTBs in between days like 2 days wbtb 2 day off, or 1 day on 2 day off, sort of thing gave me the maximum consecutive lucid days. Maybe the dream just gives time to refresh your mind and let it rest, or maybe it's because you body adjusts to the wbtb times if you do it too often. And if you just stop it before the body adjusts, you get sort of a maximum effect from wbtb each time. So for me, atleast it seems like the wbtb has a sort of 3 day cool down period? It's just like the 3 stages of DJing, it's like good things come in 3s. I wish I could know if other people have similar experience with wbtbs. Who knows, maybe none of this really matters.

Failure is okay. It's okay to fail really. Failure is the mother of success after all. And if you're so caught up in trying to get everything perfect, just always seeking, seeking for a better way you might not realize that you can just learn from your own mistakes. It's like the wise words, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly." Instead of trying to succeed... just simply be and your best. So that I can notice my own nose because the answer's always right there if I've just paid enough attention to my nose and get lucid from that.

BUT enough of that! I should just DJ. Freakin do the DJ, even though the dream this time was one of the most uninteresting and the shortest I've had in weeks. I've better keep my promise and DJ gracefully starting now.

Dream

I remember in a classroom, in a school of course. I was sitting beside my friend Un, we were sitting on the same large blocky square desks that were shared btween a couple of students. each desk were shared by maybe 2 students and the way that they sat had oriented them in facing towards the blackboard. Or was it a whiteboard? The classroom had a wooden feel to it, actually the desk was wooden yea, yellow. The teacher was a lady. And the class held about 20 people. It was teenagers. So this school was a highschool methinks. I slightly recall smoeone throwing a paper airplane across from the right side of the class, a boy who sat at the top right, where the entrance door, which was long and slender was at. I was near the back of the class, maybe the very back, about center, slightly to the right. I forget what we did though. We weren't studying in the class I think.

So me and Un, we leave the class, presumably after the bell and I just simply follow him. Our classroom was located in the southern part of the schoolm second floor. THe floors were white, off white. It was white but it had black speckles in them, sort of looking like the inside of a dragonfruit. The very edge of the floor in the hallways had sort of a dark goldish frame around it, with a thicker frame about the third the length of a shoe and the inner frame, which was the thickness of a pencil about three times the thickness its distance from the outer frame. The floor had a sort of a rubbery feel, it had a kind of traction to it. Anyways we went down the hallway and to the left, down the stairs and went the office there. I think I've been in this particular school in my dreams about 5 times now? maybe 6 or 7. But Un went into the office through the reception an and grabbed ahold of something and stole it from there. I wasn't sure what it was but we left after he grabbed the item.

I remember it looking like sort of a small rod the size of your hand. It had like a round ball like top connected to like a cylindrical rounded bottom like the bottom of a hairbrush. It was sort of shiny and white in color. Un went into a classrom and used the object and transformed into a child. This class was filled with smaller kids, like elementry. And he was just sort of pulling a prank on the teacher here and pretending he was a student in that class. He did this for a while and I just watched from outside the door. It got boring very fast so I decided to leave him be.

I was leaving and headed the same direction as before and I met Lucy on the way. We just decided to walk together and maybe walk back home together. Her house was the east or the right side direction of the left front entrance, which was at the lower part of the stairs we took before. There was a fruit stand there right before the entrance and I grabbed a hold of a pear there. I ate it and it was pretty ripe, part of it a bit rotten but otherwise very delicious. It was the soft kind of pear that I enjoyed really. I asked Lucy if she wasnted any, maybe one of the apples there, because those kind of looked fresher than the pears? She just had just kind of apathetic look to her for some reason so I just decided to grab an apple for myself. The apple was also a bit overripe and I thought I'd enjoy the pear more.

I had a vision here, of a house about 2-4 kilometers west of here. Inside the house and stuff going on. It was on the first floor of a house, about 3-4 people there. I was there briefly but came back to the same spot now.

Anyways we're headed out the entrance and I tried to ask Lucy what was wrong. She was just so ah humbug and I just didn't want to be near her that much. Then a girl shows up whom I knew from college. She lived to the west side of here and although I lived in the same direction as Lucy, I decided to go home with her instead because Lucy was sort of being a jerk. For the life of me, I can't remember her name. I cans ee her face and remember her beautiful features yet the name just passes me by. M? Muuuh
...

I had a few dreams before that. Scribbles hard to read.

One about a lion lady. I can't even remember now. It was pains, I had real bad shoulder pains and that distracted me pretty badly.

I'm pretty sure the inspiration of this dream came from my mother though. Although she was not in this dream. Seeds of this dream - mother, lion, fortune teller

I think the dream was about a lion who transformed into a lady. I had to fight a lion and the lion i was fighting transformed into a lady. Or it was the other way around, the lady trasformed into a lion.


P.S.

.. It got me thinking though. Does meditation also have the same 3 day thing? To either take a break once in a while or to at least switch the meditation technique every 3 days or so? Because I notice that I stupor and my meditation quality drops? Or maybe it's simply that you get bored of doing the same thing all the time? I don't know. Maybe everything I've written or thought about is trying to come together into a singular idea or concept. Something like trusting your own feelings? I feel like it's sort of connected to concepts skipper had said.

But I need to make it my own. In my own words at the moment. The clearest words that I have to describe it are something like,

Trust your feelings? You get better in doing.


And that thing I've learned in meditation to notice yourself feeling stuff? Like, you don't have to try to do good? Just notice things more and you naturally become good?

Is that meditation in its essence? To bring the unconscious to conscious?

Like... you don't meditate to do something... But you just remove excess thoughts?
... A kind of a 2 step process? One part of it is to learn to focus, and be more aware, just to notice more things. Maybe this part isn't even meditation, but simply the act of concentration. But this helps to sharpen your senses. And the other is the noticing of your thoughts/feelings/senses. The noticing of awareness itself. But the goal maybe isn't even to notice the awareness. But when you notice the awareness, you become better at whatever task you are doing. Because you have less mind chatter going on? And because you are better at this "mind clearing". You become more efficient in your art of concentration. And this art of concentration sharpens your senses. And in turn, you see things more vividly, and when you see things more vividly it's easier to notice something off in your dream? Maybe that's the goal of the dream yoga? And you cycle between different "meditations" like sound and stuff to sharpen each sense to maximum amount and to keep them sharpened.

Is this true? Perhaps, or maybe I'm just sprouting nonsense. But nonetheless it's very interesting to ponder. But note to self - remember to notice yourself pondering.


Well I didn't realize the font color was white since I was in black mode on the browser. When I tried to submit it just had the error and I copy and pasted it and it just turned out strange for some reason, looked completely normal on my dark mode browser though. I hope no one had to endure reading invisible scripts on a white background. Fixed a few typos, pretty sure there's more but oh well.