• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. One Hundred Twenty Six

      by , 02-02-2020 at 08:42 PM

      In which I mustn't interfere with the horrors of nature...



      There's a discarded porcelain basin sitting among tall grass in an abandoned lot, frequently used for dumping, near my house. From afar, I can see that it's heavy with a deep sink and a large ribbed area for drying dishes. I move closer to inspect if it's cracked. And I see a bundle wrapped in a blanket.

      I pull on the edge of a blanket and reveal an infant inside, dead, with a dog leash wrapped around its neck. I untie the leash, toss it aside and pick up the body.

      Back in my own house, I show it to my mother. She already knows about it, she explained, and if I don't want to get wrapped up in this, I best return the body to where I found it and replace the leash in exactly the same way.

      I return to the empty lot, walk over to the basin again, only this time the leash is now wrapped around the neck of a second swaddled infant. This time the baby is still alive, but struggling, gasping for air.

      I know that I'm not supposed to intervene. I'm like a nature photographer, filming a hyena eating a struggling gazelle. This is just how things are. I shouldn't have come here in the first place. I shouldn't have interfered. I need to put things back exactly as they were.

      I set the struggling baby aside in the grass. I replace the dead one in the basin where I found it. Only I realize that the leash is now on the struggling baby's neck. I reach into my pocket and pull out one of Lucy's leashes and I wrap it around the dead baby's neck.

      I walk away, leaving both of them in the field.

      When I get home, I tell my mother what I've done. She says I'm a fool for using Lucy's leash- now it can be traced back to me. The authorities will think that I strangled the dead baby. I realize she is correct.

      I return to the field a third time. I remove Lucy's leash from the neck of the dead baby in the basin neck. I remove the first leash from the neck of the struggling baby in the grass. Now relieved, the baby starts to cry. I replace the first leash around the neck of the dead baby, wrapping it tight. Then I wrap the body back up in the blanket and place its in the basin.

      Then I turn to look at the struggling baby, crying and gasping in the grass. I turn around and start to walk back home, leaving the baby there. The baby will die, probably in the night, and that will be it.

      All I can think of is what each moment must feel like. The baby is cold. The baby is suffering, second by second, gasping for air, hungry. I think of the gazelle, feeling the hyena rip its flesh.

      I go back to the field a fourth time. The infant is now a few months old. I see it's a little girl. I pick her up, and she stops crying. I can see the marks on her neck from the leash that strangled her, but she appears fine. She has curly strawberry hair. I take her home.

      I wonder if she'll be brain damaged. I give her a glass of milk and string cheese. She smiles. I feel immensely guilty, horrified with myself. How could I have left her there in the first place?

      I'm suddenly incredibly stressed by this question. How did I leave a struggling infant alone in a field? I try to think of the logic behind it. There was some reason. I can't think of what it is. I'm suddenly terrified. How will I explain this to anyone? What will I do with this child? Could I really be such a terrible person as to go home and leave her there alone to die?

      The anxiety wakes me up.

      Updated 02-02-2020 at 08:46 PM by 38879

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    2. One Hundred Twenty Five

      by , 02-02-2020 at 08:18 PM
      In which R is an animated Wolverine action figure...

      I'm standing in front of a plantation house in what appears to be a dry forest of Indochina. A boy in saffron robes sleeps in a hammock hanging from the heavy columns of the shaded front porch. A student monk? Why is he here? I'm about to wake him when I'm called inside to lunch.

      I sit at a long table with R's family as a servant places plates in front in front of us, dishes in the center. R is there, also his parents and his brother who has brought a visibly pregnant white woman with him, who he introduces as his girlfriend. My father is there as well. Conversation is strained and awkward.

      The girlfriend is nervous. If she is to be either my sister-in-law or the mother of my niece or nephew then I should attempt to build some affection or ease between us. I smile at her. I tell her I'm sure we'll become good friends.

      She leans forward to take a bite then spills a spoonful of dal in her lap. To show solidarity, I tilt my glass of wine and spill a few drops on my chest. We laugh and laugh.

      She announces that she's carrying twins. A hush around the table. I break the silence.

      "Wow V, that means you'll have four children soon."

      "Six," he clarifies. "K and S are also pregnant, one more from each."

      I turn up my wine glass, drink it all in one gulp dramatically. No one says anything. Six children from four different moms. Four of the children will be infants at the same time, the other two are already teenagers.

      There's a pounding on the front door. I know who it is. A monster, come to get us. I know how to defeat it too. But it means exposing our secret in front of my father, in front of V's girlfriend.

      A few more pounds, then wood smashing. The monster has broken through. He runs into the dining room, so fast he's just a streak of purple. He's tiny but stocky, maybe a foot high, and he leaps up into the air to attack us.

      R jumps from his chair, into the air as well. On his way up, he transform himself, pulsating and shrinking until he is also a stocky foot high action figure. He is Wolverine. Blades extend from his knuckles.

      Wolverine/R and the monster crash into each other, chests bumping together, midair. Then they fight. The tumult upsets the table, smashes into the chandelier, breaks through window, continues along the front porch. We all run outside and watch them as they tumble together down the hill of the front lawn, towards the forest.

      My father is shocked. "Yes," I tell him. "R is also a Wolverine action figure. I didn't know how to tell you."

      The boy monk wakes up from his nap. He steps out of the hammock and waves me over. He spreads the nylon netting open wide between his hands, then pops it out in front of him as if it were a bedsheet. It transforms into a vending cart. The boy steps behind it, ducks down, then reappears as a mustachioed paan wallah. He arranges tins and betel leaves on his cart. I notice the red spit stains dotting the porch.
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    3. 2 fragments

      by , 02-02-2020 at 06:17 PM
      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      1/2/2020
      Fell asleep at 1AM.
      Woke up at 7AM, no recall, forgot to attempt FILD
      Woke up at 8:30AM, 1 fragment recalled. forgot to attempt FILD
      woke up at 10AM, another fragment recalled. Then I stayed in bed with my eyes closed till 12.
      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Dream 1:
      I was in the shower, but also the bath. My bath was also in the middle of the bathroom now and not on the side. The door to the bathroom was replaced by the door to the shower which is glass so everyone could see me if they were in the living room or coming up the stairs. I tried to hang my towel on the handle to block the view of my genitalia but that didn't work. Adam Rab. came over and wanted to go to school with me. After trying to hide myself for a bit Jimena and Adam came to the bathroom door so I sat down in the bath so they couldn't see my gentialia. My underwear was also on the sink for some reason.


      Dream 2:
      I was at my cottage with some friends I think. Then Erica Roth. Showed up at my front door and then started going to the side door and when I went to the side she was going back tot he front. I left the front door and saw lots of people out by the pool with some lights, clearly partying somehow. Then someone who looks like Zacks GF came up to me and thanked me for having her over.
    4. lxxv.

      by , 02-02-2020 at 01:46 PM
      Kind of a single long dream, but some bits are missing.


      Dream:

      The first part of the dream I can remember was at a somewhat accurate layout of the cul-de-sac in front of my old home. I was sitting in the driver seat of a car, which I think was my dad's car, as some of the interior felt familiar. But I had the window fully down and was sort of resting my arms against it and looking out. It was a sunny day, probably past 3PM but not sure what season. First half of the year, I think.

      Where my building door was supposed to be was actually this entrance into some sort of church, but not a church, as there was a machine there like a manually operated computer, and there was a group of people running it. I think I had been in there previously in the dream, or I just "saw" this somehow. But then there was an oddity about this machine, it could be switched off by literally anyone who walked past it, as there was a button labelled "STOP" and another "EMERGENCY STOP". They both did the exact same thing. I think I remember I had asked someone why, and they couldn't explain it to me.

      Then, while I'm in the car, some black guys show up. I realise better what position the car was in, sort of blocking in the entrance of the cul-de-sac a bit. These guys smile at me, I smile back, but I immediately know that they are there for something. They sort of huddle up around one side of the car, sort of hiding from view from where the machine place was. They look at me worried and I say nothing, quietly watching with some amusement, I'm curious what they have planned.

      This one guy stops trying to hide and just walks straight up to the place. I can see that he hits that stop button out of amusement for himself and the people running the machine get annoyed and make audible grunts, but seemingly don't even pay attention to the guy. I don't remember what else he did in there, but he comes back near the car and he has this piece of jewellery, I can't remember exactly what, but somehow I immediately know it's sort of stolen or something.

      Then a different guy gets up and goes in and a bit later comes out with something similar. I think this happens a couple more times and I remember the last piece of jewellery, a silver necklace. It reminds me of a necklace H has, but only the chain was similar.

      I remember getting into some small talk with the guys and then saying I had to go. I think I drive away and they disband, but I don't remember how it transitions into the next part exactly. But I remember my thoughts stayed on the "stolen items" for a bit.

      Then I'm walking down an unknown dream park with two people. One of them is H's sister (A), but I'm not sure who the other person is, some guy, around my age, but a friend of mine, not A's friend.

      It's night time and there is plenty of green vegetation and everything's slightly wet. Sprinklers had been on, as it isn't raining and I don't get the impression it had been. There are paths through this hilly park and the path we're on takes sort of long curves around some well mowed lawn-like fields, well lit by strong cool lights.

      As we're walking this path on the left-hand side there's a hedge going all the way along the curve and on the right-hand side there's this man on a short two-sided ladder. I don't look up to see what he's doing, but all of a sudden sparks and arcs of electricity go everywhere. Somehow I'm not surprised or worried, and neither is anyone else. Moments after I'd walked past, I pause, looking back. A is sort of looking closely at the ladder and some cables, which I somehow think of as being a bit foolish considering the electricity, so I think I motion for her to carry on.

      We arrive somewhere and there's some kind of transition. I lose any awareness of A and the mystery friend.

      I'm now at a place that closely resembles my high school, or college. But the lights are sort of dim and moody. It was still night outside. All of a sudden I find myself in the middle of a group of random people, of all ages really. And then I'm lying down, between this girl my age on the left and this old woman on the right. They're both lying down too but sort of sitting. There's a cover over my legs and this girl on the left.

      People are mostly just idling around and there are some paintings on the walls. I look closely at some, finding myself annoyed that I know some of them and that they've been there for an eternity, half thinking to myself "why can't one of mine be there?". The thought passes quickly and I look at another painting that catches my attention and I quite like. Somehow this makes many other people look at it too and start discussing it.

      My attention fades away from it and this girl on my left starts touching my private areas; I don't realise it's her doing it at first. I realise that both me and her didn't have pants or underwear on. For a moment I wonder if H was touching me in waking reality but the thought doesn't go past being somewhat automatic. I enjoy her touch but start to wonder why she's touching me like this. I assume that she wants the same so I move one of my hands to touch her in the same areas and this seems to completely surprise her, despite whatever pleasure she felt. I get the impression she is embarrassed now and she sort of gets up and dresses herself and leaves.

      The old woman on the right makes some comments, the last bit of which I vaguely remember. "It's not easy making money that way, you know." the old woman says. I reply: "No, I didn't think so either."

      Then I am left with some lingering thoughts of why she would try to make money in such a way, and why she left, but the rest of my dream recall sort of ends here.


      Notes:
      • In the third and final part of the dream, there was a fair bit of conversation between everyone and myself and other dream characters, but as I try to recall the dream I can only mostly remember silence.
      • The group of black guys in the first part of the dream were nobody I recognised, though they reminded me of friends I used to have when I was younger. I have had a few recurring appearances of those groups of friends and I felt it was somewhat familiar, especially because of the dream's location, which is where they typically appear in my dreams.
      • I think the jewellery was actually coming from some sort of replicating machine in the same place as the manually-run computer thing, but my memory of it is extremely vague.
      • The stone hall where that computer thing was, really wasn't very different from the actual entrance hall of my old building. It was sort of just super elongated and wider.
      • I have no idea now who the friend was with me and A. I don't recognise the face and seems to just be a generic construct of "male friend".
      • The girl touching me in the final part of the dream didn't tell me her name and somehow in the dream I felt the expectation that she would have done, especially before leaving. Although I remember her hair as being somewhat long and curly and dark, I got the impression there was something about her that was "redhead" or that the word "red" was somehow associated with her as a character.
      • The old woman in the same part had some sort of old-style blue dress, and reminded me a bit of a cartoon character in some way. Her hair was a perfect white and tied up in a sort of bun. What little I can remember of her face is that she looked youthful for how old it sounded like she was.
      • The appearance of both these sort of contrasting female figures is not without some personal meaning to me; it's the sort of thing I sometimes wonder about, especially if I'm working on some art piece involving nude human figure- the old woman was young like us at some point and so wasn't at all phased by what was happening. I often wonder how I will see this type of situation when I'm much older myself, or how I'll feel about it.
      • Nearly forgot to add this note: The odd mood lighting (sort of an orange-y red/purple) in the last part of the dream was incredibly similar to that of another strange dream I had some time back. I can't remember if I did have any thoughts about it during the dream.

      Updated 02-02-2020 at 03:11 PM by 95293

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      non-lucid , memorable , side notes