8th May 2021 Fragment: Mom, new medications, a swap or trade for her? (not sure what I meant by this and recall is too gone) Fragment: Watching HW play an undead rogue wearing a T2 helm, he's sort of streaming PvP activity where he's killing other horde players but also alliance, not focusing on any particular group more than another. He is in a full party with some friends who are helping him with the PvP? (gap) HW is visiting me, at a mix of my current and old home. I'm with him in the kitchen, downstairs. There's a moment of intense laughter when I or he make a joke, sort of together, but I forget what it was about. We're about to head upstairs and I go into the pantry (what pantry, which home?) and grab the only two beers there, as well as an orange juice drink in a similar but clear glass bottle. I ask HW what he wants but he doesn't seem to hear me. I ask him again once we are upstairs, also asking H if he wants one of these things too. I have some feeling of concern about who will pick what? 9th May 2021 Fragment: Planet-landing, some colony and I'm? using a tank to take over the colony. Something about it being a job in planning by others for three years. I prove them wrong by myself by assaulting a base and then I eventually get some reinforcements to assist me. Then in a cave, the dream changes and becomes about wrestling or some form of free fighting. I remember breaking things up, made of wood. Dream: I'm in a place like L with H, walking across a busy street. It's sunny and looks pretty much as I might expected, considerably busy too. I see MB walking ahead in front of us at one point as we walk to wherever we're going but H doesn't notice or care. I feel annoyed and think to myself "yeah, you walk away you bastard" as I watch him go up another street on an incline, beside some kind of train or transit station. We eventually go up the same street too and H says he's going to call someone (one of our parents) but he notices the phone number is totally wrong for the contact, deciding to ring anyway and finding out who it might be. The other person answers and is equally curious and confused but they are nearby so we backtrack a little to a bit with a cafe. We approach and H talks to this person he had been on the phone with. I don't realise it in the dream but any awareness of them drops off as I focus on my aunt B who is sat at the next table over, facing an unknown dream character who is her friend. For some reason, as we get talking, this unknown character is showing me the inside of her mouth, which impossibly looks bigger on the inside than on the outside. Under her tongue, there is a pepperoni pizza pattern thing going on, but it's some kind of fungal structure that is an uncontrolled infection. I remember being told about this but in no detail. Notes: - The last dream with MB was about four months ago. - The dream recall for all of these is poor because while I did make initial notes, they were extremely brief and I had planned on getting around to typing them up sooner, whilst recall was still fresh, but the days didn't allow for it. - For some time now I have been feeling like there's something wrong internally, on a physical level. I worry on some level that part of recent dream symbolisms are related to this but I have no real basis for this other than some recent aches that haven't subsided. Recently I have been getting random intrusive thoughts about cancer, possibly since that's essentially what AH passed away from. - I had some more notes I wanted to put down but I'm currently distracted and have a headache, so I'm being unable to focus.
I had a dream where me and mom were still homeless. Despite that, one thing that stayed close to reality is that I worked at her job with her. We were having an argument in front of the car about openness when I said that I feel like I can never be open about my opinion about her or other things and she got really mad, and then I pointed out angrily that this always happens, after which I was kicked out of her car, felt obliged to leave and we screamed at each other as I walked away flipping her off from behind with both hands. Before she even left, a couple of old, decrepit heroin junkies with needles in their arm and an asian guy with a robot started asking favors of me that I didn't feel were ideal for me to do. They wouldn't back off until a few straight moments of convincing them to leave, but this one creepy overweight asian guy with a robot was following me for a bit longer, after which he deployed a module of his robot that rolled around on the ground, presumably to watch me. I ran to the other side of the hotel where my room was and closed the door, but before I could close it entirely, the little glass diode robot rolled in, after which I stomped it down and crushed it. The room was similar to the main two star hotel we stayed in for most of the duration of our irl homelessness, but instead of puke green like the door, the walls were white, and the main bed was in the corner of the room across from the TV, which was a nice flatscreen one that actually worked, on the right side of the door. Some time before she left, my mom said that whatever was on the TV was probably unsettling, and it sort of was. I saw a very personable grayish blue crash test dummy get dunked forcefully into water while it passively and contently accepted its fate, among other things. I switched the channel and came across a music video for a song by Primus about someone convincing their dad to let them use heroin, with the "I know I'll get through to him someday" line standing out to me the most. It sounded like something off their 2011 album Green Naugahyde. The whole time this was playing, I knew that the door to my hotel room was so broken that a little outward force could open it, but I didn't know what to do about it until I saw that it wasn't the main door. The main door was covering up the window and was much thicker. I closed that and after a bit of relaxation after an entire evening of tenseness, I woke up.
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