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    1. 17 Feb: Shadowy witch, robotic snake and meeting my teacher lucid

      by , 02-17-2023 at 08:47 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some victorian house, sort of half asleep and seeing the scenario fade away, but I realize it is actually a dream and that it is the dream itself that is fading. I hold on to it, but the darkness doesn't go away and I know this is when sometimes the monsters come up. And then I see a woman coming over and whenever she crosses a more shadowy area, her face becomes monstruous. I warn a friend that is also sleeping nearby to wake up. She doesn't know what I am talking about and she looks at the woman. The woman says in a hypnotic tone "look into my eyes". I grab my friend and say "don't look, it will kill you". I get in front of the woman and I say assertively "Now, you look into my eyes!" at the side of her face that is not disfigured. She looks puzzled and loses a bit of her power temporarily, so I open some curtains to let light in and I drag my friend to the outside. The woman still tries to reach me, but she can't stand the light. I decide to lift off and that's when I go fully lucid. I don't know what to do, so I decide to just watch the dream. Below me it now looks like some big american city. I also see a huge roller-coaster in the distance. There is some retro vibe to it. I just amuse myself by flying over people and watching their dramas. I feel very melancholic thinking how all these people are just DCs. I sing and dance in the sky above them.

      Visiting my mom at her old job at the Union. They are at some warehouse with piles of boxes with files and lots of stickers, calendars and other stuff I used to steal from them and collect as a child. I am mesmerized by all the retro things they have, not fully aware that I am dreaming, but aware I am seeing something gone from the past. I grab a box with some stickers to take with me as mementos. For some reason my dog Hachi appears and all is fine until someone else also comes in with 2 dogs and a baby. I grab Hachi immediately and try to take him somewhere where I can keep him isolated. Unfortunately there is only a small room with no windows and I don't want to lock him there. So when the other dogs follow us and we get cornered there, I close them inside instead and take Hachi away.
      We go to my mom's and he roams around the house free. After a while I am looking for him and find him in the balcony injured with a bad open wound in his front right leg. Nearby is a robotic snake I keep as a toy, also severely "hurt". Turns out she can bite and it is a powerful metallic bite. I try getting close to him, but he cowers and hides his leg. I go get hydrogen peroxide and throw copious amounts on his wound. He ends up accepting my treatment and even puts his front legs over mine to thank me, I guess. Then I also want to help the snake but need something to grab it safely. I didn't know she had such a dangerous self defense mechanism.


      At my childhood home, alone, and I become lucid. I go into my room, honestly just wanting again to dwell on the melancholic feeling of seeing things from my past. But then I feel crazy horny and feel the urge to remove my pants. I look around for objects I might use creatively, but all I see is a wooden spoon over the bed for no good reason. So I give up on objects. Instead I decide to experiment what it would feel like if my clitoris grew to become a very long penis. Long enough that it reaches my mouth. And then I suck it. I almost wake up with the sensation but I manage to come back to the dream. Then I jump scare when through the balcony door I see 3 Rinpoches sitting outside. They are not looking at me, they are to right side, almost out of sight. I can only see a bit of their faces but I recognize them ckearly. They are facing forward as if listening or watching someone to my left side. I pull my pants up quickly, deeply embarassed, hoping they didn't see that. I get up and walk slowly towards the balcony sliding doors. Then they turn their heads towards me and nod at me wtth a smile. As I approach, I see many more of them and recognize almost all of them. Then some more pass by from my left side and disappear behind the ones sitting. The balcony is no longer a balcony, but some room somewhere else. They all aknowledge my presence, nod and smile, but none says a word. Then I walk forward a few more steps and I see my teacher to my left. He is standing there and he is the one all others were looking at or listening. They hint that I should come in and I do. Rinpoche comes to me and we immediately hug. Then we kiss. It is a shy confused kiss, because I want to kiss him on the lips but I am not sure if it is ok, so I kinda go for the cheek but still touch his lips. He seems surprised but pleased. We continue hugging. Then he kisses me on the lips properly. It feels incredible and totally real. We continue hugging tight and saying how much we missed each other, while I caress his back and head. I can even feel the smooth edges of his robe on his back and do my autistic thing of stimming by feeling the calming texture of the seam.
      Then he moves on and we are in some kind of library or classroom and I realize we need to get out because a class or lecture is about to start.
      Lucidity fades a bit from here. Outside he is with his entourage and they are heading to some place to lunch with, but he specifically says to his attendant that I am to have lunch with the more private group and sit by his side in the upper room. The restaurant is asian, but I can't tell from which country. Rinpoche and the private group disappear upstairs as I am distracted looking at the food they have on display. Then I am not allowed to come up. When finally that is cleared up, I arrive there, but Rinpoche has disappeared again, maybe to go to the bathroom or something, I think. The people there look me sideways and want me to sit me at the "kids" table. I see three empty seats and figure that's where Rinpoche will sit so I say I think I am supposed to sit there to, but they mock me and bully me. Some lady is being incredibly rude and gets into my nerves, so I bang my hand on the table, wanting to punch her, and say "one of these seats is for me, just wait and see". But I feel bad for my ego outburst, so I just go and sit at a bench near the window, at the far end of the table, but where Rinpoche can see me when he returns. Then we hear his voice on loud speakers, interviewing some indian fella and it is about Russia and some allegory with volcanos and people wonder what is this about.