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So I was like, “hey subconscious give me a good dream” and he’s like “no.”

And I’m like “okay screw you ima suck on a random woman’s boobs” and he’s like “fine I’ll put you on a high building” and I’m like “nope” and I swing down from there.

He still yet says “nope it’s real life now here wake up to the alarm” and I still say “screw you I’m going back to sleep”

And he finally is like “okay you wanna be perverted? Fine here’s that hot friend of your sister enjoy losing your lucidity”

But I one up him and say “screw you I’m going to develop her as an actual character”

And that, kids, is how I met my wife.

Falling with style: the anime

So I’m in this box right, and I’m trying to get some pussy, but the only pussy there is my sister which obviously doesn’t work. I go around some more but there’s old pussy and child pussy both of which don’t work. I move onto watching some Pixar movie but it’s sad as usual and I start crying. Oh yeah, and did I mention I was a pussy myself?

Sigh... sex is weird in dreams

So I’m with my crush but I can’t even talk nor hear her so that sucks. And we’re stuck in a building that basically is like, for real, you’re supposed to love it forever, which is even worse. And that’s not even the bad part. I am forced to listen to country music, which I generally hate, and I can’t even accomplish any of my goals. Oh, when will I have a good dream!

As always don’t take this seriously.

So I’m in this cave of spiderwebs and I’m horrible at jigsaw puzzles and it takes me forever just to have two fit together, they even fight other pieces. Ugh. So now I have to choose between a chad city and a forest virgin but I stupidly choose the forest and I end up singing some stupid song about friendship which lasts 40 seconds which is 41 seconds too long. Thank for this was a short dream.

This is still going on somehow. I’m jumping around a bit with which dream to choose.

So I like, become lucid, and this animal that eats carrots appears and I’m like okay let’s have a DEATH BA— wait no you’ll just troll me— PIANO BATTLE! But he tried to burn me with fire 🔥 and I feel blue. There’s also a vampire standing there menacingly and my sis for some reason. DONT WORRY YOULL BE SAFE SIS! I AM POWAHHH! Sadly the vampire reveals he’s the most powerful character so, wahwahwahhhh...

The memes continue! Now with my third best dream.

I’m at this futuristic choo choo station and this robot voice is all like WE WILL TAKE OVER—ER I MEAN THE NEXT TRAIN ARRIVES IN. My crush arrives hot and nice but for some stupid reason I choose my friend over her. That's right. I chose my friend. Whatever. Dream self is weird. And now I have to save this dumb penguin from being too hot even though I’m too cold. Okay that’s great. And now I can’t really fly either. Surely it couldn’t get any worse — AAAAAAA NOW YHE SUN IS IN MY EYES, and dammit I have to pee in real life. WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE SKY-- DAMMIT thunder almost struck me! At least no one's here to see me scared -- OH NO MY CRUSH IS HERE, and WHY AM I HEARING A VOICE THAT IS DECLARING MY PRESENCE!!!

Thank god it’s over. Worst. Dream. Ever.

I had fun with the last one so here’s my next best dream as a dank meme

So I’m fighting a ninja and it’s all like stabbystabbystabby and I’m like haha I’ll use my powers but this guys like nope the river has your powers now get stabbystabbystabbed so we just keep fighting and I keep getting stabbystabbystabbed and finally I land one hit but I end up in this stupid step class and I have to steppysteppystepstep and it’s stupid so I try to marry my crush but the classic song plays and some old guys like, you wanna get married and we both say YEET and we get all mushy and flower petals get in my face.