Alysendra

This lucid dream happened two nights ago, and was my major motivation to set up this account so that I could start dream journaling again. Though the emotion of the dream was actually sort of negative, the implications it had for my dream control were enough to make my want to start really working on it again.

I was hanging out with my close friend M who I don't get to see quite as often as I'd like anymore, and we had decided to go check out the house that another old friend of ours, D, grew up in. As far as I know his family still lives there in waking life, but I'm sure he's probably moved out by now. I unfortunately haven't seen this friend in a few years now because we had a falling out after I made some life choices that he disagreed with, but I still think about him and miss hanging out with him as we had known each other since before grade school even.

There wasn't anyone at the house when we got there, and we actually ended up sneaking in somehow. I don't recall exactly which way, but I don't recall there being any sort of struggle to do so. We just walked around to see what all may or may not have changed since the last time either of us had been there, and I figured that if D's parents or brother showed up they might not mind that we were there since it was me, but I was afraid of spooking them unintentionally. We were upstairs as I was thinking this, and as we started walking down the stairs I suddenly noticed that there was someone else in the house too, but it was this old woman waiting at the bottom of the stairs for us. She appeared to remember who I was from many years ago, but I couldn't quite figure out who she was exactly. Despite that, I do remember registering her as possibly being one of D's brother's friends' moms. She didn't seem overly surprised that we were there, nor we of her, and we just kept going about our business after running into her.

M and I ended up going out to their backyard next, which looked pretty different from what I remember. After checking out the pool, we decided to go swimming for a while and just talk about life. I couldn't really tell you too much of what we talked about, as I barely even remember the act of changing into bathing suits or anything other than just already being in the pool, but I do know that out of nowhere a whole bunch of people suddenly showed up. Once again we were not particularly bothered by this, and I remember feeling that there was just suddenly a total pool party going on, and M and I were fine with that. It seemed like a pretty lighthearted atmosphere and everyone appeared to be having fun. I swam up toward the edge of the pool to just kind of hang along the tiles for a while, and M came up to me from the left and the character Gunn from Angel came up to me from the right. For some reason they were both starting to squeeze me together pretty tightly, and just as I was about to say something and try to wiggle my way out from them, a foot met my hand that was resting on the edge. I looked up, and it was my mind's theoretical version of a more college-aged D, looking down at me like he was expecting some sort of explanation.

M and I both get quiet and D just continues to stare at me impatiently. In my mind, this is the first time I've seen him in years, and I say to him that I know we have some things to talk about. I start getting up out of the pool in the meantime, and he begins to reply in a begrudging but friendly way that he knows that whatever I say, he'll have to accept my apology. This actually makes me start to feel better, like things might not be so bad between us after all and maybe we can be friends again, but then there is a sudden blip in my perception of reality and now I am just standing outside by the pool all alone. No D, no M, no partiers. Everything about my environment has suddenly become much more vivid and detailed as well, and the odd idea strikes me that everything that had happened up to that exact moment might have been a dream, but now I was actually awake and had a real chance to talk to D, since I was still in his old backyard.

I ran into his house and went upstairs to his old bedroom to talk to him, and along the way I became aware that all five of my senses were now strongly present. I was excited in the idea of fixing up what he and I have lost, but once I got to his room and checked everywhere, including lifting up the covers of his bed, he was nowhere to be found. As my enthusiasm begins to dwindle, it starts being replaced by logic and I begin to fear the worst. I quickly grab my phone and try to turn it on so that I can try to check what time it is twice, but it won't even turn on in the first place. Losing my sense of hope, I then run to his bathroom which is attached to his bedroom and tried to flip on the light switch multiple times, every attempt to no avail. There's no use trying to fight it anymore.... This is a dream.

For a moment I feared that I had not only fallen for a disappointing lie but ruined a considerably vivid lucid as well, because the darkness of D's bathroom had overtaken all of my vision so that I could see nothing but black. I don't even recall how exactly, but I managed to desperately grab for any stimuli I could possibly find, and just when I thought all was lost, D's bedroom faded back into focus. Things were a little blurry, and for some reason I had the strange idea that taking my glasses might actually make things more vivid, which worked perfectly. I repeated this action one or two more times during the rest of the dream too without ever actually having to put my glasses back on.

I was still feeling really hurt by the loss of what I thought might be a old friendship finally coming back into my life, and I just needed to blow off some steam. Luckily for me, this is very often what I use lucid dreams for anyway, so there couldn't have been a better setting for me to be in while feeling this way. At this point I stopped walking and instead flew out of his house, phasing through the wall as I did so, to get back out into the neighborhood. While flying I went past a tree and actually felt like I scraped myself on one of the branches, which caught me off guard, but I probably brought it upon myself by just happening to glance at the tree as I went by. However, that momentary loss of focus caused the whole area to start being replaced by just a big field of flowers, which was definitely not what I was looking for at the moment. The edge of my vision on my right side still contained house, so I quickly darted off in that direction hoping to find a more developed area, which worked perfectly.

The area I had arrived in contained many houses but was no longer anything like the neighborhood that D lives in. It looked much more like a downtown city area, with a road going down a hill, and houses much like you would see in the San Francisco area, absolutely none of which you will actually find in the area I was in just moments ago. However, any area such as this would work for my purposes. Harnessing my emotions into my dream control as I had done in my last lucid that I can remember, I held out my hands as if to hold something very large and heavy in front of me, started tensing my fingers like I was gripping something in each, and then started raising them up while projecting my feelings out into the city ahead of me. As I did so, the ground under a housing complex began to rumble and rise up into the air, warping the buildings around it as it did so. The mass that I was lifting up became colossal and took on a shape seeming to have arms and legs, but it was not humanoid. Suddenly, a glowing red light and chunks of rock were visible all through the cracks in the ground which was splitting more each second, and then terrifying, monstrous face emerged on the head of the beast. I had summoned an enormous lava monster, just as I had intended.

I could hear people in the area all screaming at the site of this new creation of mine which was the manifestation of the pain that I had felt after the previous events of the dream. To release that tension that I felt, the monster began using its incredible power to start destroying the city all around it. This whole event was incredibly vivid and life-like, and I was quite proud of my apocalyptic pet. I simply let it do its thing and then continued flying down the road, not yet ready to be finished wreaking havoc. The next thing I did was focus all of my negative energy toward an area just above another set of houses just a bit down from where I had been, and this caused a ball of fire to burst into existence. Before it could totally fade away, as it was just a quick thing, I reached my hand out to it as if to hold on to it from a distance, and then pulsed more energy out through my arm and towards, reigniting the burst and making the ball even larger than before. Ready to end my sadness, which like most emotions seemed significantly enhanced my being in the dream state, I continued to push this ball more and more until it reached the strength of an atomic explosion, annihilating everything in the dream reality and waking me up in the process.

Though this was certainly not the happiest of lucid dreams I've ever had, it was definitely an important step up in my quest to obtain better dream control. Hopefully in the future I can continue to expand these abilities using more positive emotions to really achieve some incredible things.