Amurehna

I'm posting from work and the music is so loud that it's fucking up my dream recall. I'm so annoyed right now.

Anyway. I had trouble falling asleep. When I finally did, I belatedly realized that Sleep Paralysis had settled in. And by belatedly I mean...I was dreaming about having it again. I 'wake up' in suffocating, absolute darkness. It feels like velvet. Sounds are muted. I recognize the heaviness in my limbs as SP, everything feels so strange. I swing my legs over the side of the bed but have to fight the impossibly extreme weight of my body and my eyelids. I shuffle languidly to the front door. Prickly unease raises the hair on the back of my neck.
Why is my bed in the living room?
Why is there a 3ft privacy wall between my bed and the front door.
I struggle to lift my arm to unlock the door but I can't figure out how it works.
Why is this so hard?
Maybe it isn't real...
I feel blurry and thick as my head bows forward and I rest my head on the door. Lucidity shifts into place but I'm so heavy. I flounder under the pressure but try to focus my will and go through the solid door instead of trying to open it. It feels so strange. I instead escape upward into my actual bed, but only for a moment.

My eyes drift shut and when I force them open, into that suffocating blackness.
No no no I think, not wanting to be here in this weird dream with the door I can't open.
I wake myself up and find I'm laying in my real life bed.
My eyes are very heavy, so I close them.
Right on the edge of sleep I hear a sharp, low buzz like a phone notification. It jars me upward a step. Was that my phone or my boyfriend's? I drift again and hear the buzzing sound twice more which I just realize it's part of the SP. I consider riding the wave down so I can have a lucid dream but SP Lucids at night are usually just nightmares for me, and this one feels off so, fighting the weight of my limbs again, I turn my head. It's enough to dispel the worst of the paralysis.


This music is driving me nuts. I really can't think straight.

The next part was about my sister's upcoming wedding. In the dream I go to the venue thinking we are just rehearsing but get an ugly shock when she tells me it's going to be in about an hour. It includes one wardrobe change for her, I'm supposed to walk in first, singing a song but she won't tell me what it is but insists that I know it? And that it's a very special song?
I wander off a few steps, anxiously singing to myself. I haven't done much singing lately so my voice is too soft and I'm worried about it cracking. AAAAH ANXIETY!
She's running through the whole thing quickly with the DJ who is also a priest, and tells us we should go check out the other room, because apparently after I sing, run back, and walk with her and the other bridesmaids, we're going to go on some sort of pageant walk to a second room where the reception is, followed by all the guests. I'm so confused.
I need to get changed but I don't know where my dress is. I break away from the sanctuary so I can find it. My sister thinks it should be in the other room with the other bridesmaids dresses. I take of down the green carpeted hall, glancing into every open door. It's so hard to tell which one is ours, there's activity everywhere. When I find the room, at the end of the hall on the left, I experience a fresh new anxiety because the room isn't remotely red. It's dirty and green and workmen shift thick floor panels around, flipping them over to expose the underside. They assure me it'll be ready, I remain silent in my extreme doubt. This wedding is going to be an absolute train wreck.

Somehow I end up outside. The parking lot is just an ugly field of churned mud and dead grass where all the cars are haphazardly parked. I forget what I'm looking for just remain confused and anxious for the duration of the dream.


The next part is just a fragment. Something about waiting for my boyfriend to come home from a supply run, and how we took refuge in my childhood home. He left me here alone, saying that the other person who went out will be back soon and he'll make sure nothing happens to me.
C also wants me to ask the other man something. Other Guy is always going out almost as soon as he comes back so I decide to wait in his room (next to the family room, what used to be my brother's room downstairs, and before that my dad's den). It's kind of cozy, there's a navy/scarlet/white woven blanket on the bed with red and blue sheets. I crawl onto the bed. I want to sleep but know the guy will be offended that someone else slept here.