Amurehna

Forgot that I never copied this to my Dream Journal even though I made a post about it. I may as well add another while I'm here.

Co-worker acting Strangely - 12/14/2012

I don't remember how the dream began. Like many of my dreams it took place in one of my childhood homes, except that the wall dividing the two bedrooms at the end of the hall is gone so that it is one big room. A co-worker of mine (I'll call him K) is intentionally scaring people. But not in a leap-around-corners kind of way. More in an extremely-creepy-I'm-intending-to-murder-you way.

I'm watching him from the end of the hall. He's wearing ancient Chinese armor. It's all brown and black, the front and back are dark brown tiles linked together, with black plating underneath. He's wearing kind of a conical helmet with a face on the front, and a face on the back. The armor is designed in such a way that it's very difficult to tell which direction he is actually facing in. K is moving around the two people at the other end of the hall, twisting and sliding and bending like a contortionist.
This is about when I become aware it's a dream. I go to the other end of the hall, though he really scares me. I see that he's pulling a small bronze knife with a triangular blade from inside his armor. I can see another one. I make the choice to steal it as he's twisting around the man at the end of the hall. I believe that this is my only chance to stop the horror of K. So I grab the knife from inside his armor and stab him in the neck. The blade goes in, but he is bloodless. He takes the helmet off and removes the knife from his neck. It slides out like his skin is a sheathe. K slides the knife back into his neck and pulls it out several times, grinning at the three of us. I'm horrified.

The dream skips scenes. I'm standing at the start of the hallway again. I am very tired and I can see my bed. I'm really looking forward to sleeping. It has a tarnished brass frame and stark white sheets. That's when I realize K is laying in the exact middle of the bed, his presence deeply dismays me, though now he's just wearing a white t-shirt. The armor is gone. I assume he's not playing the creepy guy anymore, and see that as a role, a costume. I'm afraid, but I'm tired and I just want to rest. I walk to the bed and pull the sheet back like I'm going to lay down, but then I just stare at him. I can see the bloodless slit in his neck where he was keeping the knife. It really unsettles me. I go into the black doorway across from the bed, knowing it's my parent's bedroom. I realize the couple inside are not my parents, and I don't really know what I expect them to do about my problem. But, like a frightened child (that's even how I identified this action in the dream), I wake the man by lightly touching his foot.
"I don't know where I'm supposed to sleep....K is in my bed."
"It's alright, don't worry about it." The man says.
"But I'm afraid."
The man doesn't respond, I know he's gone back to sleep. I return to my bed. K rolls over and sits up. I just look at him warily.
"It's okay if you lay down." he says.
Reluctantly, I get under the sheets. I'm still afraid. He tries to reassure me that he's not going to kill me, but as he says it he pulls the bronze knife from under one of the pillows and casually slips it into the slit in his neck. He grins. I'm not reassured at all...

I honestly don't understand. As a person, K doesn't scare me. We're even work friends. On top of that I very rarely have nightmares, so I don't know why I had this one. Nothing has happened at work with K to trigger it. ((In hindsight this is hilarious. At the time it was true, I didn't really have nightmares for a long time. I've had many lately =/))

A man in a suit is talking to a young man with a narrow face, black eyes and black hair. He's giving him news of some inevitable event. The guy reacts childishly, beginning to protest in a high, frightened voice. "No, no, no, no, I don't want to. I don't WANT to. No, no, no."
The man in the suit frowns at him, thinking that obviously this person is more child than man. He had expected a more mature reaction. The kid looks dead-eyed, and for a second I wonder if he's pretending to be scared. Then I realize I've misinterpreted his wooden expression, he's terrified.


Saja and Wolf, Shame and Separation 02/05/2013
Part of this is going in a spoiler because it's sexual.
The beginning is much less clear than the end. I'm traveling in proximity with a group of people. It feels like we are on foot, going in the same direction but not actually together.
There's a long lush green field. They sky is gray overhead, but I've always liked how vivid the world looks following a rain spell. There are a couple of people flying kites. From the back, I recognize Walter Bishop. We end up riding bikes down the length of field , careful not to run long black hoses. I had a reason for doing that, but I can't remember it now.
We arrive at the house just before nightfall. The house feels old and rundown. The walls are wood paneled, the carpet dingy white. A few feet from the front door is a large mattress and a chair at the foot of the bed. I stand by the chair. A middle-aged man with curly black hair going gray, decides that the thing to do now is have sex.

Spoiler for grossness. :

Everyone except one woman and a couple of the men object. On the left half of the mattress is the man's brother, laying with a long legged blonde woman. She is only wearing a light blue button-up. He opens the shirt, spooning behind her. I catch the eye of the other man laying on the right half of the bed.
He eyes me lustfully. I just stand there, uncertain, unwilling. All around the house, people are pairing off. I feel like I have to do it too, and at the time, I almost want to.
"Take off your shirt, pants and bra. Leave on the that jacket and your panties."
I do as he says, leaving myself barely clothed now in white panties and a fuchsia duster that hangs to mid-thigh. He holds his hand out to me and I walk across the mattress on my knees to take it. He pulls me down in front of him. I feel a surge a disgust.
"Yes, that's nice." He croons as I lay down on my side. When I move the sweater pulls open. I'm pretty sure I don't want to have sex, especially with all these people around. He tries to convince me otherwise, telling me to watch the others. My eyes skate over the blonde and his brother. He's calling our attention to her arousal.
The man starts to touch me, pressing his lips to my neck and fondling my breasts. He slips a hand down between my legs and whispers to me. This goes on for a long time, but he doesn't take me. The whole thing feels like a mockery of something, and I can't put my finger on what it is. Like there's a deeply buried memory similar to what the man is doing, but this time I'm revolted.

A fierce-looking woman with red-blonde hair stands at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, looking disgusted. She beckons to me. I'm relieved I have a reason to desert the bed, I feel unclean. She goes to the window and peers out through the slats of the blind. It is late and the End is on its way. Unhealthy light flashes through the slats.
"They've started to gather. It's almost time."
"The others are out there?" I ask, intrigued. She glances down at me and I'm acutely aware that I'm mostly naked. I pull the sweater closed and cross my arms to keep it that way. "Is Wolf with them?"
"Who?"
"Our leader." I start to feel stupid. "The one who brought us here." I feel like I've made a mistake and it worries me.
"Oh. Him. I haven't noticed." She pauses. "So...you think that he orchestrated all of this." Her tone makes it sound like he's a low-brow brute and that my suggestion is entirely ridiculous. I'm offended for him, and for myself.
"No, the Spirits told him what to do."
"Oh, of course they did."
I wonder if 'Wolf' means nothing to them but I can't think of another name to call him. I sink into a chair that's angled slightly away from the window. She doesn't realize how deeply her lack of reaction has affected me. I ask about the first person I can think of.

"Is Saja with them?"
She gives me an uncomprehending look. "Could you check? She's..." I briefly describe her, she'd be small with curling black hair to her waist. I'm on the verge of tears now, my voice is thick with emotion.
"No." She responds, looking outside. "Maybe they just haven't arrived yet." She says it like she's just trying to make me feel better.
I completely lose it. My sense of purpose, my hope for all this to be over. The belief that my instincts were right just crumbles to nothing. I feel shame and revulsion for letting a stranger touch me so intimately and in front of others.
"I left for this?"
She doesn't understand what I'm talking about. I realize that she has forgotten all of it. Who we were, what we did, all that we left behind.
"I left Home so that some disgusting perverted stranger could feel me up? I left Liam for this?" I'm crying hysterically now. A different woman tries to comfort me but she has recently left one of the men and I can't stand the thought of her dirty hands on me. I've pulled my knees up to my chest and I'm hugging them as I sob nonsensical questions. The idea that we've come to this has broken me.

02/21/2013 Unsettling, Liam

This dream is unsettling because it was always difficult enough to walk around with this guy at work, because of how much he reminded me Liam. My reasoning mind kept me from thinking about it too much and after repeatedly working with him I had conditioned myself to ignore it. I had never dreamt anything like this with him as the focus and it made me very uncomfortable. For anyone who is hasn't been following along, Liam is a vivid DC who often appears in my dreams. He's tall, with copper or auburn hair and blue eyes. I'll leave the description at that.
I'm sitting on a dark blue couch pressed against a wall of dark tinted windows. It is night outside, it has a very...after-hours feel. Beside me is someone I used to work with who reminds me of Liam.
A pretty young woman sweeps out of the place, calling over her shoulder about meeting him later for coffee. He looks troubled, tense, unhappy. As I am about to ask him what's wrong, he speaks into the stillness.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell my wife." He says.
I smile sympathetically and pull my knees up onto the couch.
"I guess that depends on your intent. If you're going to coffee because you have feelings for her..."
He cuts me off with a humorless laugh. "You think this is about her?"
I freeze, unsure what I should do or say. Does that mean I'm the problem? Even in the dark I can tell he keeps glancing at me, deeply troubled. He averts his eyes, bowing his head, thinking how difficult this has become. He's trembling with the effort to...stay contained. To not cross a line. After a long moment, he reluctantly reaches over and touches my knee. This forcefully reminds me of Liam. I blush furiously, trying to stifle the rush of emotions that beset me. I sit very still. He starts to withdraw his hand when I pull it back by linking my pinky and ring finger with his, very aware of the weight of his hand and the pounding of my heart. He desperately wants this and doesn't at the same time.
I release his hand and rise to my knees beside him. I'm wearing a faded green tank top that I haven't seen since I was in high school. He presses his hand flat against my abdomen. I realize that this is the closest I will ever come to being intimate with Liam and decide to revel in the moment. He looks up at me. Faint light from outside illuminates the left side of his face and turns one eye into a shining pool. He looks so much like Liam that it hurts. He reaches up with his free hand and presses his palm to the left side of my neck. Again, I think of Liam. He draws me down and brushes his lips below my right ear. I lose track of everything.
Something forces me awake.