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    AstralVagabond

    Lucidity Flicker

    by , 02-21-2014 at 03:40 AM (842 Views)
    This has been a rather strange night for me. Firstly, I had a mnemonically induced lucid dream, though I was still at a fairly low level of awareness. I soon consciously oversaw this dream collapse into blackness; but that was not the end of it. In retrospect, I'm not sure if I really retained memory and consciousness of my dreaming throughout the experience or if I inadvertently performed at least one DEILD or just a WBTB; but after I believed the dream to be gone, I became lucid again in the next dream - and, in a way, the same dream - several times. And becoming more and more aware each time.

    In the first of these dreams, I was in my home, getting ready for school and my mother was packing my lunch for me. With apparent spontaneity, I then realised that I was dreaming. I tried to exercise my dream freedom and act with the truth in mind that nothing I said or did before a dream character had any real repercussions. So I approached my mother's dream character and, taking note of her complacent reaction, took her arm and, after a brief delay, passed my hand/finger through it, for no reason other than to check the power that I had. After this, the dream was broken.

    I felt myself lying within my bed, remembering that I'd just had a lucid dream but now seeing naught but blackness. I wanted to go back to the lucid dream. I tried not moving in my current position and going back to where I had just been. In the next dream, I was already aware on some level that this was a dream, though I'm not sure if it was from the very beginning.

    Upon performing some kind of reality check, I made sure that I was dreaming once again. Also, I saw this dream beginning in a similar way to last time, as if it was that dream happening all over again. This time, however, I decided to build on my previous, faulty experience. I tried transporting myself away from my current location, which was then in my own bedroom and with my mother’s dream character, in which I had no interest and who was inhibiting my ability to think freely without worry of consequences.

    I thought of where a good place to transport myself inside my dream might be and, at least in part remembering the bonus task of the month that's in place right now on this website, I tried transporting myself to a mountain covered in snow. But instead of changing my environment, all my dream did was put me in front of my computer monitor, still in my bedroom, and turn it into a video game that was set atop a snowy mountain. It wasn't even that fun of a game but I went on to play it anyway, rather than protest or attempt to go bigger, because I imagined that I had myself made some sort of mistake and that that was the best my mind could be expected to do under the circumstances. This shows that I still didn't have the brightest level of dream awareness.

    In what was either my next dream or a distant continuation of my current one, I endeavoured to truly go to the snowy mountain once again and shouted at my subconscious, as a dream control method I'd learned, to turn my scene into that. However, I could only partially manage the transformation. When I looked around, there were still my mother's dream character and some pieces of furniture from my own house standing there. Soon, I lost my grip on the dream again.

    These times when the dreams kept fading were not something that felt like they could be stopped. I don’t remember seeing any warning signals before they fell apart to keep my grasp on the dream; at some point, sooner or later, I simply saw my dream environments disappear and be replaced by blackness, followed by an apparent realisation that I was lying in my bed. Yet every time, I retained that light of dream lucidity.

    Every next lucid dream I had, I seemed to gain more and more lucidity and dream awareness - though it still wasn’t as impressive as I’d have endeavoured for in the end. In my next dream, however, after performing a reality check by observing the anomalous face of a clock, I remembered the goals I'd formed long before to use in-dream techniques to increase my dream’s lucidity as much as possible. I was in my living room, where I saw a couple of superheroes hanging out (without finding it strange) and I rubbed my hands together. As I did this, my dream really did come to look more vivid. This was the first time I've ever used this hand-rubbing technique, along with a direct shout to my mind to increase the lucidity, in one of my lucid dreams.

    This technique turned out to be successful. The scene before me had become clear and vibrant; but then, for some reason, I kept seeing momentary interludes of blackness in my vision, as if I had been blinking very rapidly or as if frames in the dream movie were breaking up. One of the dream characters who sat before me noted this. The dream then broke again.

    In my next dream, I started back at my bedroom and looked at the clock, as I remembered having done last time. The numbers were wonky and the hands were off-centre, which was well enough to clue me into the fact that I was dreaming yet again. My mother's dream character actually came along and helped show me how strange it looked, now aiding me with the reality check. I picked myself up where I left off, with rubbing my hands to increase lucidity (which eventually faded if not cared for enough) in the living room, with superheroes on my couch.

    I appeared on the balcony of my home and decided to fly off. As I was flying past one of the tall buildings in my neighbourhood, I detected supervillain activity inside of it (to the superheroes on my couch?) and resolved to confront it. I also detected some kind of note from the villain - like a ransom note. But, since reading tends to be so difficult in dreams, I struggled to make any sense of it. I paid so much attention to trying to read the note, not taking this important detail into mind, that I must have been losing awareness points by now. And my dream broke once again.

    Next time, I knew right away that I was dreaming and I became extra-wary to preserve my dream and my awareness and to avoid confusing situations that I couldn’t control. Also, this was the first time when I started off in a different setting. I was in a school environment, one that was in chaos. There were people running around in the classroom and there was a teacher standing in front of me, who clearly was not happy. On the desk beside her were test papers and each one seemed to have a bad score on it - as well as vastly varying score denominators. One of them had a score of only 5 of an unrealistically large number, with too many zeroes to count. This, the teacher, was the score I had gotten on her last test. I was trying to not let this dream get to me and retain my lucidity; but it wasn't always easy. This scene was particularly dark and intimidating.

    I remember having other dreams that succeeded this one; but I doubt any more of them were lucid. I don't have much recollection of these dreams anyway, so there isn't much more to say.

    Although I'd looked forward to lucid dreaming as this night began, by the end of it, I was feeling kind of drained - even a little turned off to lucid dreaming the following day. Hopefully, as I gain knowledge and experience, dream control and retaining awareness will be easier in DILDs that I experience in the future.
    TwitchLucidity and lumiina like this.

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    Comments

    1. TwitchLucidity's Avatar
      Its funny really, you remind me of the doctor.

      Great but funky lucids, eh?
      AstralVagabond likes this.
    2. AstralVagabond's Avatar
      Huh... I do? Besides my avatar?

      Yep! It's tough now; but I'm sure it's gonna develop into something great!