The Nomad Chronicles

I have my own talk show. I am in my Vampire Form. It's set up like Oprah.

Loaf is my guest for the show. He is also a vampire. I am wearing a nice black suit with no tie, and have jet black long straight hair with a violet tint to my pale skin. Loaf has short straight dark brown hair with red streaks in it, and his eyes are red. He is wearing a red cape and has a red weapon in his hand.

Nomad: Welcome Loaf to the show.

Yaay!

N: Ok, well you can put down your weapon, Mr. Loaf.

(nervous laughter)

N: So, Mr. Loaf, what kind of vampire are you?

L: I am a Red Vampire, which means I feed off of red energy. It's mainly anger, rage, things like that, but it could be blood.

N: Interesting.

L: I like sentience. It's delicious.

N: Uh... Okay.

Loaf looks at me and grins hungrily.

L: I see you are a dark energy vampire. You feed off of darkness.

N: Yes.

L: Why don't you give me some energy!

Loaf leaps upon me, trying to get at my neck. I try to toss him away. He bites my arm. I get enraged.

L: Mmf... that's it. Red energy.

I calm myself, and flick him off.

L: That was all I needed.

We return to our chairs. The audience is mortified. I slowly bleed dark energy out of Loaf throughout the duration of the interview through eye contact.

N: Alright. So, tell me more about the different types of vampires.

L: Well, there are vampires that desire each type of energy, light, dark, red, green, blue, anything. Ones such as green vampires you would probably describe as elves or maybe parasitic plants, but they all feed off of green energy. The power of vampires comes from pull, or gravity attacks. Vampires will drain your energy, then use it against you. We can also get energy from other sources, so sentience-draining is unnecessary.

N: So, tell me what you are doing here...

(A viewscreen pops up)

L: Well, this is my regular dream self sitting at school, blah blah blah... And look, there's me, the vampire aspect... creeping into regular Loaf.... haha... oh, look, now Loaf is a vampire. Time to kick ass and drink blood. HAHAHA

Loaf starts kicking the ass of some weird teacher-demon and a security guard-demon.

Well, that's our show...

The audience apparently ran out. The crew claps hollowly.

AW SHUT UP.