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First of all, I'm sorry for the absence (again). Good thing I'm not a mod, like I wanted to be a few months ago. Adam's had a stroke, but he is recuperating. I think recuperating is different from recovering. Recovering sounds like things will be the same as they used to be - things will never be like they were, and in many ways, that's a good thing.

My dream that I had today, as I slept late for the first time in weeks and caught up on much needed rest, was beautiful. I was inside of a multi-story building with my 12 year old daughter, Kat. Somehow the building was a dragon (?), and the balcony was its mouth. we held hands and jumped off the balcony together, floating harmlessly high into the air, and landing together in a lush green park, with pink flowers, white flowers, every kind of flower, and clear water bubbling in a brook nearby. several time, over and over, we flew and landed sometimes jumping up to fly, others simply lifting off without any effort. I remember seeing a rust-red dragon flying in the distance, but it never approached us, never caused us any harm, we were in no danger. It was just relaxing and very nice. I woke up refreshed, feeling my daughter and me had spent time together, just us, making a memory.

Last night I dreamed that me and my partner were on vacation somewhere, at some resort hotel (HA - would never happen). This hotel was one story and built like Elizabethan era, style building with white porch, columns, hanging ivy, walla made of windows and no glass. If you walked out the bay window, you could go to the shore of the river nearby. The river had a "beach" made of nice clean sand. People were everywhere, usually working in pairs or groups of 3, some with children, some not, digging into the beachfront with shovels, picks, knives, anything they could find, to get way down deep to find the "purple sand" because it had some quality to open the third eye. My partner went to the opposite side of the shore, and I started digging not very far from where the bay window was and found a purple crystal (wand) within the purple sand, so I dislodged it, dug it out and put it in my pocket, and as soon as I did, it went inside of the right side of my body where my ovary would be.


NOTES:
IRL my birthstone is amethyst, thats purple. and my birthday is coming up in 2 months, and I've set that time frame as a goal for improving my health so that i can lose a lot of weight without hurting myself.

My third eyes been reopening the last month or so. Not surprised, my birth number coincides with my upcoming age, which means the new energy is already in progress...takes about 1-2 months.

Started off,in a grocery store, I was looking for a job... I had to dress up like Dolly Parton and work inside of a small box with a peep hole.Across from me was a young teen/20 girl with brown hair who was supposed to pretend to be Loretta Lynn, she gave me a business card out of the bust of her dress and said i should call this person (for what i don't know).

Dream changed and I'm outside with this giant (about turkey sized) looking green bird. Green bird had a flat face like an owl, but it was not round, was elongated, beak was yellow, tongue was black, feathers were sleek. Along comes this big black woman with a knife, and she pokes the birds eyes out first, bird doesn't respond. so she cuts out its tongue, still doesn't respond. so she cuts off its beak. this was where i had to turn my head, and when i turned back the entire face of the bird was gone. it was flapping around scared to death, still alive with basically no head.

made in heaven,queen - woke up with that in my head.

so to help me figure this dream out, the lyrics:

I'm taking my ride with destiny
Willing to play my part
Living with painful memories
Loving with all my heart

Made in heaven, made in heaven
It was all ment to be, yeah
Made in heaven, made in heaven
That's what they say
Can't you see
Oh I know, I know, I know that it's true
Yes it's really ment to be
Deep in my heart

I'm having to learn to pay the price
They're turning me upside down
Waiting for possibilities
Don't see too many around

Made in heaven, made in heaven
It's for all to see
Made in heaven, made in heaven
That's what everybody says
Everybody says to me
It was really ment to be
Yeah, yeah

When stormy weather comes around
It was made in heaven
When sunny skies break through behin the clouds
I wish it could last forever, yeah
Wish it could last forever, forever

I'm playing my role in history
Looking to find my goal
Taking in all this misery
But giving in all my soul

Made in heaven, made in heaven
It was all ment to be, yeah
Made in heaven, made in heaven
That's what everybody says
Wait and see, it was really ment to be
So plain to see
Yeah, everybody, everybody, everybody tells me so
Yes it was plain to see, yes it was ment to be
Written in the stars...
Written in the stars...

My mind has to completely unfuck this one. Scuse my french but....day-um,this was bad to be in this dream and watch that. IRL, today I go to be fingerprinted for a job. The whole thing with the bird, slowly just about decapitated (yuck), thats got to be about self expression, mine and my partners fears - of the throat chakra opening up (in my case)/not being strong enough the way he remembers it being years ago (in his case). We did some more recording last night before bed. Sounded shitty. I need to sit closer to the mic, because for some reason this thing picks up great peripheral sound but not so great when your in front of it more than a foot away. You know what though, you only live once. And we're getting older. We're in our forties. If we miss this chance, I doubt it will come again. I just want to get these two albums out there, and perform at some blue grass festivals and maybe a few open mic nights at the shack down the road. Get my womanly, curvy self up there and show those young skinny kids who havent had time to have a past yet, how to do it... I think a good recipe for singing is,take a lifetime of pain, a heart full of love - that was missed for half a lifetime and reunited two years ago, the best memories of motherhood - and wrap it up with a fever.

12-2-12 NIGHT: Ok, I was underwater with two other women. There were jelly fishes eating chewing gum that people would spit out. I remember two all girl competing teams were there, I think debate teams. In the water no one needed special gear to breathe or talk, it was like air, but it was under water because the jelly fish were there. And pretty coral. I got bored and the dream changed. Was then inside of a dimly lit house, talking to a young man (in RL, a friend of one of my daughters from high school, he's grown up to be a professional musician). He was sipping something from a mug and telling me about his problems. I remember him saying people expected him to have a girlfriend and date, and he didn't want that. I said something about "That stuff comes when you're ready. Not a moment before." I hugged him goodbye, smelling his shampoo when his hair was close to my face. It was a nice visit.

12-3-12 NIGHT: No dreams remembered, woke up sore but ready for the day.

12-4-12 NIGHT: I kept hearing Barry Manilow music. Trying to get the feeling again. Loads of red, purple color.