Morning of March 31, 2018. Saturday. My final dream of today’s date goes into the typical meandering sequences that involve sustained diverse random autosymbolism of which are too numerous to have any cohesion. (This is similar to when dream characters change identity more than once per second, cycling through hundreds of different identities and appearances in a short time.) However, I eventually find my dream stabilizing (though I do not become viably lucid, only subliminally lucid). As I walk in an unknown region and I feel that I am somehow in the distant future (and yet there is no implication of time travel), I notice a few structures to my left (dream-oriented side). These structures are of a few different sizes, though resemble boxcars with one side missing. They are elevated by about three feet. The open areas face the footpath. There are people inside them. In one case, with a larger structure, it seems there at least twenty people both seated and standing in a three-tiered arrangement, which reminds me of a class photograph from the 1960s. The imagery is pale and gray and I cannot tell if they are all dressed or not or wearing pale pajamas or long johns. (Of course, this is a dream state indicator that reflects the subliminal awareness that I am not dressed as I am sleeping in bed.) I lift my right hand and direct a light that spreads out over the ground in front of the structure. Various objects begin to appear over a wide area (at least ten feet square), mostly combinations of food items, mainly canned food in sets of two and three, and small toys, such as groups of five small felt dolls with each one being bigger than the previous. I maintain my focus until the area is mostly covered. Some of the people leave the structure and seem grateful to me. I then direct the light to create a pile of documents farther back from the structure, one for each person, and tell them that money and food can be attained through the use of these documents. “They are real,” I tell them. My mother eventually appears, mostly to my right (waking-orientation autosymbolism) though she is not actually my mother but a thin woman of about forty who eventually seems to have a medical problem relating to her throat and neck (possibly a subliminal association with incidental sleep apnea, which is very rare for me). However, my dream meanders and changes from this point. From here, an unknown young male appears. He reminds me of a young version of Leonard from the King Street mansion (who I have not seen in real life since the beginning of 1994). At this point, the typical indoor outdoor ambiguity dominates the nature of the setting. The setting is now mostly implied to be on the surface of the ocean, though there is a partial floor to my right (subliminal waking-orientation side, as I sleep on my left side). I am now sitting in an armchair. I ask the male what he wants. He apparently wants a certain kind of potato chips that are no longer made. I wave my right hand horizontally and manifest a container with potato chips in it (on the floor to my right). These are not the ones he wants, though he tastes a couple. He is looking for a discontinued brand of potato chips called “Widgets”. I mentally make another container, this time a small commercial bag, and they seem to be the right ones. They are oddly shaped, somewhat like a figure eight, with two chips connected end to end. They have a dark red powder which may be implied to be barbecue flavor. He seems grateful but now also wants a pizza. I wave my hand towards the floor to my right and then pick up a pizza to give him. I tell him that the price of everything I had given him is four dollars and he pays me with two Australian two-dollar coins. (The Australian coins are the only thread of my current conscious self identity. Otherwise, there is no memory of my real life at all.) He turns to walk off and I notice he is walking on the water. I reason that the white fishing boots he is wearing have an advanced technology that allows him to do this. He reaches over to his right and picks up a long stringer of fish from an odd structure that resembles a bicycle parking rack and continues to walk. I notice that there is a large largemouth bass at the bottom of the stringer (where there are at least six or seven smaller fish above it) and compliment him on the fish he caught. From here, he goes to a Wendy’s to order more food (which is off to his left). The restaurant has the look of a Wendy’s inside a shopping mall and is somehow solid upon the ocean’s surface. I notice the beautiful blue sky above and beyond. I remain seated in my armchair that is floating on the ocean until I slowly wake. This is a variation of what would otherwise be the very common water lowering waking symbolism (a repeating dream component for over fifty years) in this particular stage of sleep. Although RAS mediation had rendered the awareness of waking life by way of the implied partial floor on my right, there is no defined transition typically relating to the waking start or a quicker transition from dream self to conscious self. Water is autosymbolism for the essence of sleep, physical release, and the absence of emotion. The personified preconscious walking on the water is autosymbolism for a very passive and peaceful waking transition. The large bass is the emergent consciousness factor and represents the dynamics of my mind emerging from sleep, the autosymbolism of which has occurred in thousands of previous dreams since childhood.
Night of March 27, 2018. Tuesday. As I enter the usual water induction stage, seeing the glimmer of the surface of the virtual water, the essence of sleep, the absence of emotion, the physical release of muscle tension, I notice the setting seems to be near sunset, though there is enough light to see by. It is a beautiful scene of a river. I am not yet “in” my dream, as I have not decided whether to enter here or wait for the next scene to render. Still, I mentally say “boat” and nothing more, and my voice sounds much younger in my head. I suddenly find myself standing near the bow of a skiff, moving slowly along. I notice a number of cypress knees ahead (which represent dynamics of my muscles that are not fully relaxed), though they do not pose any sort of threat or challenge. (Who wants to be “challenged” in the dream state anyway? - RAS modulation would come soon enough.) It is a beautiful and peaceful scene. In fact, I decide to let my lucidity go at this time and allow myself to enter deeper into sleep. Throughout my life, I have read a number of articles about lucid dreaming, none of which have made any sense to me, but then, most of what is written about dreams makes little or no sense at all, and I have focused on the nature of my dreams all my life (and it not only has never been problematic, but I married my literal dream girl, my dreams having given me hundreds of specific clues about her identity, which proved to be correct, and some dreams have healed me in ways which no one would believe). Many such articles imply how a person “practices” or attempts to lucid dream. This makes no sense to me, as since earliest memory, it was a natural state of which I did not have to practice or try to do (though I sometimes “set up” dreams, but I have mostly gotten to where I do not even need to do that due to the nature of in-dream auto-scripting). The summoning factor also exists in liminal dream control (dream control without lucidity). This is when the conscious self is aware of the dream state without the dream self being viably lucid (a specific type of synaptic gating), though still commanding the dream’s content at some points, even the RAS mediation of the waking transition to a certain extent (though biological factors and subliminal environmental concerns such as an unknown noise always take priority). Apparently, some people ask themselves on and off all day if they are dreaming, which supposedly helps them to recognize when they are dreaming, though in my view would likely corrupt the function of RAS mediation and modulation (reticular activating system), arguably one of the most important parts of the brain, so why tamper with its very purpose? This is something I have never done or needed to (though reading nonsense in so-called dream dictionaries or dream interpretation books causes me to wonder what is going on with people in the world, and I joked about this on Twitter recently). The practice does not even make any sense as this is neither how auto-scripting nor autosymbolism works (or even subliminal conscious identity for that matter) in the dream state itself. Conducting “reality tests”, including continuously asking myself if I am dreaming, as the personified subconscious is not the conscious self, makes zero sense. Additionally, dreams are not usually symbolic of waking life as many people claim; they are autosymbolic renderings of concurrent unconsciousness thought processes, for example, if one has to go to the bathroom now, or check the source of a noise now, it is happening now, not eight hours earlier but now, yet for some reason many people cannot seem to grasp this simple idea at all. They take a biological waking alert factor (RAS modulation) like a snake and try to pretend it has waking life relevance (which would only be true in rare cases, such as literal prescience or a literal residual carryover). This is not what such REM thought processes were created for. They are not “recordings” or even viable (active) memories (which also is why regressive hypnosis was exposed as a total misconception years ago). Fully understanding autosymbolism and the nature of the dream state is enough to sustain apex lucidity on thought alone. The one and only factor of the dream state is RAS mediation, not “subconscious this” or “subconscious that”.
Updated 05-22-2018 at 06:25 AM by 1390
Morning of March 27, 2018. Tuesday. I am in Cubitis, but my old home is gone. On one level, it feels somewhat strange for me to be there and see the flat ground extending over what used to be a living area. Still, my dream becomes so abstract, only the basics can be relayed in text. The orange grove is still present. (In real life, the house is still there, but the orange grove is gone, thus this dream is of opposite implications.) There is the common ambiguous awareness of being indoors and outdoors at the same time (even though the house or its carport is not yet present). A backstory begins to form. An unfamiliar elderly lady is going to live in a new house where mine used to be. I decide that I will build it, or at least begin to build it. Curiously, I am somewhat aware of Zsuzsanna being in my life, but in my dream, there is little else of my conscious self identity present. An unfamiliar young girl and boy come from the north as I am “building the house”. So far, I only have one corner with two bottoms of walls, only a few inches high, yet I am also now aware of a part of the carport floor. Eventually, there is an argument relating to a new piece I am adding to the house. The piece is like a long narrow section of concrete with equadistant small spheres illogically attached. The girl makes the claim that a couple of the spheres are cracked as well as part of the concrete, but I see no such feature. I do not yet add it to the house, and I get very annoyed. The scenario makes no sense at all, though is not as wholly abstract as other dreams. The carport as in waking life seems to be present and yet not present (until the last part of this dream segment). I am thinking of how others will come in and complete the house, yet there is still the ambiguous focus that I will do it, though by mental will. I soon notice a cinder block wall behind the work I have so far done, oriented to the east. This seems problematic, because the house needs to take up the entire original area and there is otherwise not much room for the building. I consider if the house should be exactly like the original was, or if the unknown woman will need that much space. I go over to the gray wall, and after a little effort, push it over. It lands flat and even with the edge of the incomplete carport floor and I consider, and am satisfied, that this fallen wall will now serve as part of the carport surface. I move my hands over the area with an enhanced sense of touch and a clearer awareness, as the act of pushing the wall down vivified my dream (due to the fact that a wall is a liminal space divider between different levels of unconsciousness and in-dream perception). From here, as a result of having pushed over this in-dream “divider”, I wander off into a different dream state (though sometimes a wall as such is a more defined division between the distorted dream self identity and true conscious self identity). The rest is a meandering mess. I go into my teenage years mode for a short time, wandering about, then into an unfamiliar kitchen setting where one man seems somehow stuck under a table with his leg somehow caught around a chair leg. He is lying on his side on the floor, halfway out from under the table, and another male is trying to help him up. The man on the floor is someone I had only talked with once years ago in Clayfield (I think his surname was Papadopoulos and this is the first time he has ever appeared in a dream as far as I remember). Zsuzsanna is present. I walk around to another part of the room. As I shift into a different dream setting, I am attempting to read some sort of listings in a newspaper as I wake. The man on the floor is my emergent consciousness factor (the other unknown male, the preconscious personification), the typical distorted precursory autosymbolism for waking and getting up out of bed. The act of reading in the last scene validates this, as this signifies my thinking skills beginning to emerge as I wake. As dreams are autosymbolic, not symbolic of waking life or with nebulous “interpretations” as such (as literal prescience and autosymbolic waking life factors are far more obvious and discernible), there is nothing here that is new or unusual to me in the dreaming sense. In life, I will never stop dreaming about my Cubitis home in infinite unique forms, or in fact, of any place I have ever lived or been, or unique fictitious settings either. There is not a waking life reason for this; it just is what it is, the nature of unconsciousness.
Morning of March 20, 2018. Tuesday. In this dream, I mostly remain semi-lucid, though there are a few random distractions. The settings are all unfamiliar. At one point, I find myself in an upstairs room in some sort of restaurant. I am near the counter where a cheerful chef asks me what I want. There is a plate of mashed potatoes that I decide to take. I do not eat all of it as I notice there is activity downstairs and I also realize that seems to be the only way out of this room. When I am downstairs, my lucidity increases to where I realize that my physical body is not wearing shoes as I sleep. Looking down, I notice that my feet are bare. This is not of much concern to me as I recognize the dream state indicator for what it is. However, just for the sake of presence, even though it is just a dream, I decide to summon shoes onto my feet. My feet are wearing shoes for a time, but they become transparent now and then. The people in the restaurant are all friendly. Eventually, I come to a checkout counter in a different building, which might be that of a library. I absentmindedly bump it and it seems very loose and actually comes off and so I place it so that it leans against the side of another part of the service area. I tell the unknown female at the counter that I will fix it and a contractor, an unfamiliar friendly male of about forty, soon appears. There is an unusual segment where unfinished buildings are seen. I mentally will most of the buildings to complete even though there are also several construction workers around. I notice that the counter I had been at earlier is now nearly two stories high from what seems to be an outside area. several unfamiliar people are present, including the original unfamiliar female. There is the typical indoor outdoor ambiguity, where it seems I am inside and outside at the same time (a factor of the illusory nature of the dream state in semi-lucid understanding that I am actually inside a house in our bedroom). I slowly wake around this point. A checkout counter is common autosymbolism for the waking stage (a metaphor for leaving the dream state). In this case, there was no dominant preconscious factor or RAS mediation or modulation, as the checkout being beyond my reach was a precursor to sleeping for a few more hours.
Morning of March 24, 2018. Saturday. I find myself on my own in the middle of a shopping excursion. The shopping mall is of an unfamiliar layout. I wander around for a time until I am more focused on my dream’s dynamics. Although I am not lucid, there is still a vaguely discernible summoning factor as with the majority of my dreams. I remember that I am married and have children, but no other conscious threads are present such as knowledge of my age or location. I am thinking of getting a tackle box, mostly for our sons for when they go fishing. I go to a lower shelf and pick one up and decide I will get it. Even though I perceive it as a tackle box, its appearance is that of a white Styrofoam egg carton. I consider that its design is as such to keep individual fishing lures from getting entangled by their hooks. From here, I look at a display wall featuring various types of fishing tackle. I consider getting one of my favorite and useful types from years ago; a yellow jig. A couple are near the bottom. I study the many other types, virtually every kind of fishing tackle I have ever used, including various plug lures and spoons. I absentmindedly carry the tackle box and jigs out of the store to the parking lot without paying, though I realize I will pay for everything I get after shopping longer. I put the items into the back seat of a car, from the left side. In attempting to go back into the mall, there is now an unfamiliar male painting the foyer. It is a darker cyan, and the entire walls, ceiling, and floor appear to be covered and still wet. (Of course, my dream self does not question this impossible sudden event.) The coat of paint has somewhat of a folded appearance, like the wrinkles and minor folds of a bed sheet. The painter, in blue bib overalls, is on a step ladder and remains cheerful. I am somewhat annoyed by this challenge. I attempt to go in, but I soon consider that I am now partly covered in paint when getting halfway to the opposite door. I subliminally reset my dream and I am again back outside the store (as I was prior to the previous event), wondering how I can enter. I notice that there is now an additional foyer to the left of the first one, which two unfamiliar females walk through to go into the store, so I use this one. I start thinking about getting some snacks for my family. Eventually, I approach a large table in the center of one store, which apparently is a bakery. There are several large butterfly cookies (about the size of my hand) with multicolored frosting of mostly yellow, cyan, pink, and blue. Each is wrapped in cellophane. First, I see what I think is the price of 95 cents on a very small label. I then notice that the price on a larger label is two dollars. I pick up two to purchase but begin to wake at this point. Return flight waking symbolism (RFWS) has occurred in at least one dream per sleeping period for over fifty years, but sometimes there are multiple diverse flight symbols in several different dreams in a shorter sleeping period. Their specific nature seems directly correlated with both my subliminally discerned level of unconsciousness and vestibular system dynamics. However, in this case, the autosymbolism seems a fairly obvious rendering of “butterflies in the stomach” in subliminal anticipation of RAS modulation (in the sometimes unexpected or jolting transition of dream self to conscious self). Because the butterflies were a static feature as cookies however, the waking was softer than usual. The imagery was also beautiful and even reassuring.
Morning of March 16, 2018. Friday. My dream’s setting is (now WWTC) WWTI’s machine tool class, where I have not been present as a student for over thirty years. (However, ironically, I did work in the school in cleaning and maintenance a few years later). I am watching a lathe, although other people are more actively working with it. It looks very old, almost like a subliminally perceived anachronism. Eventually, I see the ghostly presence of Michael G (standing on the opposite side of the lathe from where I am standing), but I do not feel threatened by his presence. The other people do not show any emotion and no conversation takes place. Key Factors: Autosymbolism factor one: The school setting is based on the absence of conscious self identity in the dream state and the subliminal association of needing to achieve wakeful consciousness again. Autosymbolism factor two: The lathe is associated with turning and I had been physically turning over to different sides due to discomfort in the warm weather. Subliminal factor: The lathe is likely also a subliminal discernment of our fan being on and facing our bed, thus would qualify as an environmental second-level dream state indicator. RAS-based marker: Michael G was a classmate who died on March 16, 1974. I am likely subliminally aware of today’s date (even though my current conscious self identity is otherwise nonexistent here), which is not a common non-lucid dream self attribute. This, as well as the distorted presence of the dream state indicator, is likely a factor of why RAS did not dominate or even activate. If this were my dream, and it is, I would ask myself if there is any chance of ever having an electric fan that would operate efficiently for longer than a few weeks in this day and age. I would ask myself if manufacturers will ever produce quality products again. I would reasonably conclude, “Probably not”. I would associate the length of the lathe with the fan’s distance from where I am in bed. I would ask myself if there is a more efficient way to sleep comfortably short of arranging ice cubes in key positions around my body. The lathe’s spindle rotates. The fan’s spindle rotates. My body rotates in bed. It is a vicious circle.
Morning of March 9 2018. Friday. My father is alive and appears as he was in the 1960s. I do not remember that he died in 1979. I am also not at all aware of my current conscious self identity. My age may be implied to be about thirty. I ride around in a car with him in late morning. The driver’s side is on the left, implying America. There are a few repeated scenes. We mostly visit apartment buildings where gangsters supposedly live. No one is around but us until the last scene. My father punches a wall and creates the impression of dampness and marks like small squid tentacles instead of fingers. At one point, I watch a waterbed wiggle. A large squid apparently lives inside the mattress and the movement of the mattress’s surface is caused by this otherwise unseen squid. I am briefly, though not viably aware that I am dreaming, and I consider if this scene is autosymbolism as relating, as a precursor, to hypnopompic kicks (as did my donkey inside a mattress dream from Christmas of 2016, which crosses my mind as such very vaguely and briefly). In the last scene, my father and I are standing in a hallway where a curtain is drawn across one area. An unfamiliar male moves the curtains aside and says my father has a doctor’s appointment. Water usually represents, as autosymbolism, the essence of sleep, dream state induction (in fact, my most common form of induction since early childhood, occurring at least once every sleeping period), and the absence of emotion in unconsciousness. I suspect, curiously enough (from personal evidence), at least on one level, that a squid has something to do with augmented sexuality, however, as related to dream state reinduction (as a subliminal directive) rather than waking life. The problem with pretending that dreams are symbolically about waking life is in ignoring how the fictitious non-lucid dream self (personified subconscious, which lacks temporality and intelligence) is not the conscious self and that, even when non-lucid, I typically seek the understanding of the dream state rather than waking life, to develop clarity of mind. Plus, dreams are primarily autosymbolic in symbolizing the nature of biology, vestibular system ambiguity, transitions in unconsciousness, and consciousness reascension, so how could they viably relate to waking life in the way many people seem to believe (other than when additionally prescient or as literal carryovers)? Other than being autosymbolic of the usual RAS mediation and the emergent consciousness factor (by way of preconscious personification), the last part of my dream regarding the doctor (looking into my dream self’s essence through the curtains, which is autosymbolism for the liminal space of the waking transition) is possibly literal and reflects my occasional focus on mortality, though hopefully not literally prescient yet. From experience, I know that my father now often represents my current conscious self identity even if it is otherwise not extant in the dream state. Still, I really had to go upon waking, and as a waterbed mattress is called a “bladder”, there may be a connection, though I had a dream about a squid on a mattress in 2015, and although there were pools of water on the bed, it was not a waterbed. Incidental associations are probably enough to trigger such a dream, though, especially in punching a wall (vaguely influenced by the 1980s movie “Altered States”), with a wall representing the autosymbolic barrier between fictitious dream self identity and conscious self identity.
Morning of March 6, 2018. Tuesday. My dream takes place in an ambiguous location as is most often the case. It seems to have an atypical essence that combines the living room (and porch in the last segment) of the Barolin Street house with my old bedroom in Cubitis. The main focus near the beginning of my dream is upon two black plastic guns of which I supposedly had as a child (but in reality, had not, despite the sense of faux familiarty common to dreams). I seem to be about twenty years of age, though this is uncertain. I decide to throw them out, and break them into pieces. They each break into three pieces, the barrel, the stock, and the trigger (and housing). I go to the front of the porch, where there is typical indoor outdoor ambiguity, and drop the pieces into a cardboard storage box that I assume had been put out for rubbish removal. They fall down between some other (unknown) objects on the side closest to me. Suddenly, my focus changes and I realize that this box belongs to Carol (older half-sister on my mother’s side; she died in December 2009). She appears as she was in the early 1980s. I apologize to her for accidentally dropping the pieces of my broken toy guns and mixing them with her own stored items. I tell her that they are deeper down in the box, under some other items, and that I cannot reach them now (as I am sure she does not want broken junk mixed in with her possessions). I am unsure if she is moving to another house, but that is possibly the case. She is not annoyed. She only expresses curiosity. (It is not much of an issue anyway, though my dream self greatly exaggerates the otherwise minimal event.) From here, I start to talk to her about all the model kits of animals she had given me for Christmas when I was a boy. I mention the deer, the large black horse (of a much larger scale than the other kits), and several others, finally focusing the most on the mother bear and cubs model kit. She talks about the two small doors that opened under the base, apparently for storing something. This was not a real feature, but I accept it (false dream state memory). I vaguely associate it with a battery compartment, but my dream meanders from here into the waking transition. This is a very familiar autosymbolic dream template of which has repeated in one way or another, thousands of times, for over fifty years, and in fact, is one of my most common waking transitions. However, the details are otherwise usually very different, but not so different that I do not recognize all the key factors. The first key factor is the porch setting, the porch being autosymbolism for a specific level of unconsciousness, inherently closer to the conscious self identity than other settings and almost always the last setting when rendered in a dream. The second key factor is in the act of getting rid of my guns (even if they are only toys). This means that my dream self is subliminally aware that I am in the dream state (though not viably lucid). It means that I surrender my fictitious dream self essence to the biological factor of RAS modulation. (Liminal dream state awareness as well as liminal dream control are common factors in my dreams, as it is biologically impossible to be unaware that I am dreaming, of which has a direct influence on the autosymbolic nature of the dream itself, and this is what “interpreters” seemingly have no understanding of.) The third key factor is RAS personification. It is passive here as my older sister Carol (as my dream self has cast away the aggressive factor into the cortex, as symbolized by the box). Preconscious “showdowns” are often rendered on a porch, even as they were in very early childhood. I then am thankful for the nature of my life. The base of the model kit being vaguely thought of as relating to a battery compartment is related to the neural energy required to achieve consciousness reascension (waking).
Morning of March 3, 2018. Saturday. In the last segment of my dream, I find myself holding a vacuum cleaner. I start to vacuum the floor, which has the appearance, to some extent, of the area near the entrance to my room in Cubitis (where I had not lived since 1978). However, it also has the essence of our present home. Over time, as I am vacuuming, there is a point at which the vacuum cleaner’s sound decreases. The suction becomes minimal, though I am still able to vacuum a little longer. I vacuum up small paper scraps as well as dust and small debris. Finally, the vacuum cleaner’s sound is almost inaudible. I bend the hose at different angles to see if that helps release any debris in the blocked area, but it does not seem to be working. As I am twisting the hose, my focus is to my left, the side the vacuum cleaner is mostly oriented toward. Eventually, in hypnopompic revelation (the emergent consciousness factor of liminal space, where the meaning of my dream is revealed to me), I discover that the blood circulation of my left arm had been cut off to a greater extent than usual, as I was sleeping on it. Thus, the blocked vacuum cleaner hose was autosymbolism for my left arm’s blocked circulation. RAS mentally prepared me for this with my dream’s focus on the blocked hose to resolve the issue as soon as possible after my dream’s cessation. (This is known as biological pattern matching.) My dream’s beginning is associated with the glymphatic system and the evidence that the clearance of interstitial waste products increases during the resting state.
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