Morning of March 27, 2020. Friday. Dream #: 19,457-02. Reading time: 2 min 24 sec. In this dream, part of my immediate waking-life identity meanders. Although I recall factors of real life (mostly only that I have a family, not where I live as is often the case) in the second section after the preconscious initiation (a typical unknown intrusive male), the setting remains ambiguous. The preconscious personification (sleep-wake mediator) activates atypically in the middle of my sleep cycle. I am near the center of a large, mostly featureless room with many other people. When cognitive arousal initiates, I have a pile of books next to me on my right (potential waking orientation as I sleep on my left side) as I sit on the floor. The man comes over to me, claiming I have a book I am not supposed to have, due to copyright reasons. It is a blank sheet music book for writing music. The publisher’s name is Fabergé. I argue with him for a few minutes, saying his claim is ridiculous because it is just a blank sheet music book (so I am denying cognizance while sleeping as well as ignoring the preconscious). I soon see him sitting with an unknown man. As a result of suppressing cognizance modulation to sleep longer, water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation) occurs. I am in the small upstairs bathroom of the King Street mansion (irrelevant since the 1990s) in Wisconsin, though it is erroneously on the first floor and has a crawlspace beneath. I take a dream journal (from the late 1990s) from being tied with a cloth to a horizontal pipe near the baseboard and water sprays out. I am unsure how to stop the leak, as I do not want my book to get wet. Water is rushing under the floor, so I have to go outside to check. I consider calling our landlord. (I think of our present landlord in Australia, validating my dream initiated a thread for the emergence of partial recall, though the real-life leak was under Zsuzsanna’s sister’s house recently.) I now recall I have a family, though the setting is still wrong. When I go outside to check the leak, I am looking at a variation of the Cubitis house in Florida (irrelevant since 1978, so setting changes are not always in chronological order as water reinduction is opposite to the directive of emergence). The nature and layout of the scene have changed, and the leak is far from where the original orientation would correlate. There are two leaks from a long horizontal pipe unrealistically situated outside, about two feet from the ground and a few feet from the front of the other part of the house, though coming from the south wall of my Cubitis bedroom, implying its location has replaced the small King Street bathroom (typical errors in dream continuity as the Cubitis house had no crawlspace and the King Street house’s bathroom, again, was on the second floor). However, the leaks soon stop due to a bubble growing around the connections, keeping the water inside. Eventually, two big irregular bubbles shaped somewhat like hourglasses (temporality reference implying water reinduction is ending), float up from the pipes. I no longer see any leaks. Precursory cognizance kicks in again with the general reference to the condition of the sun (analogous to the lack of true identity and cognizance in the dream state). Zsuzsanna is with me outside. We are still erroneously in Cubitis, in the front yard. I see that the “sun” looks like Earth floating within a frying egg, though its lower right area is spreading out in an irregular form as if the egg is runny.
Morning of March 24, 2020. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,454-02. Reading time: 2 min 40 sec. Surreal distortions and unique false memory constructs integrate with the routine dreaming processes in the standard order, with mostly a passive narrative (predictable preconscious eluding) with typical virtual amnesia. My waking-life identity meanders in and out in this exceptionally long dreaming experience. Instinctual summoning is a factor, but it never emerges into full lucidity, only liminality in the last scene. In the first scene, I am at the false location of La Crosse at the Loomis Street house. The house to its right (also on Loomis Street) when viewed from the street, is fictitiously inhabited by Earl (half-brother on my mother’s side; deceased). Bob (brother-in-law; recently deceased) is present in his house. (I have no recall of their deaths.) I walk several blocks south of Loomis Street (on Sill Street) when I become annoyed at two homeless men walking around in (and possibly living in) my dumpster (that is otherwise mostly empty). At this point, I am aware of Zsuzsanna being to my left. Unknown people are with us. I tell the homeless men to leave, but one of them pushes a big concrete slab against the door, so it cannot be opened (even though dumpsters do not have entry doors like this in real life). I become angrier and tell them that there are shelters for homeless people. They do not seem to want to listen to me as I repeat myself several times. Wall mediation (second stage) becomes viable with a chain-link fence defining the division between dream space and potential liminality (with similar processing dynamics as “An Unexpected Late Night Visit” from March 17). The homeless men are now in someone’s front yard on the other side of the fence. I summon a gun and shoot one of them. He somehow becomes embedded in the fence. I shoot at the other male, but the bullet gets stuck in the fence and does not reach him. (In the March 17 dream, I was in our present home with a sleep-wake mediator outside of our fence. Earlier, I deliberately hung a scarecrow on the fence. Also, I threatened to use a gun but did not.) Processing dynamics and instinctual elements meander, and as a result, I suddenly consider I may have committed a crime. I walk briskly with Zsuzsanna and the unknown people east down Sill Street to be out of sight in case the police arrive. I had left the gun behind and suddenly consider my fingerprints might have been on it. I return to the invalid construct of the houses on Loomis Street. Even though Bob and Earl are still standing around, the houses are missing. Only sunken foundations are left. I decide to run to the King Street mansion with the expectation of a portal in the middle room on the east side (second floor). My waking-life identity is gone again. After going through the portal in the big closet nearest the entry door, I am technically in the same world but phased to be invisible and intangible. I walk past police who are talking to the King Street landlady. They ask her about my whereabouts and in what organizations I had been. I fly and phase through buildings, going north. Instinct triggers typical subliminal awareness of being in bed. I find myself on the side of a mountain with an unknown female (probably Zsuzsanna in my absent waking-life identity). I am under a blanket with her as she sleeps. She rolls over and seems to see me, and I am somewhat surprised. “Oh, you can see me?” I ask. In a vivid offset dream, I am high above an unknown city. Instead of flying, I leap about ten feet from one ledge to another (along its length) and kick over small stacks of books that are in my way so that most fall from the narrow walkway. There does not seem to be enough imaginary proprioception or emerging physical awareness to trigger a myoclonic jerk as otherwise near the beginning of every sleep cycle.
Morning of March 17, 2020. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,447-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Dream sequence 1 is predictable sleep-wake mediation of emerging liminality stemming from my instinctual recognition that dream state physicality is not real. An imaginary fence defines my skewed perception of potential liminality as a virtual barrier between sleep and consciousness. In this instance of the usual process, my dream incorrectly establishes that it is Halloween (an incidental association with the false identity of the dream state). Another error (to stop waking-life agreement) is that the fence on the west side of our house is not a solid wall. The events occur late at night. At this point, precursory liminality allows for my recall of Zsuzsanna (though the recall we have children initiates later in my dream). Additionally, as a result of the dynamics of this process, I have a viable recall of where I live in waking life (rather than the usual false setting). I am setting up a scarecrow, using some of my clothes, as a Halloween decoration. It is on the inside of our fence near the northwest corner. It is my instinctual analogy of validating my dream state physicality as false but still as a precursor to potential physical discernment. (A scarecrow has occurred as this signification in previous dreams, though statues and dolls are more common.) Dream sequence 2 is further activation of the foundational process as previously described and explained. It stems from physicality becoming a more emergent factor but also inclusive of disguised recall that I have a young daughter. As a result, an unfamiliar black girl (of about seven years of age) stands to the left of the outside of our front gate (from our porch’s viewpoint) where the mailbox is in reality (though it is not present in my dream). (Being near the mailbox location, despite its erroneous absence, is a factor of sleep-wake communication or, assuming enigmatic space is overlapping into my dream space, transpersonal communication, probably from our daughter.) She aggressively shakes the vertical bars of the fence, making an incredible racket. I tell her to stop, but she continues. “I’m going to get my gun,” I say through our open front door, though I am not serious. I want the unknown child to go away even though her presence is the result of deliberate summoning to vivify my dream, which it does, exponentially. (A gun is typically the result of the fictitious dream self attempting to maintain an illusion in contrast to the reticular activating system initiating, which is otherwise the natural progression of sleep-wake transitioning.) The child does not leave. I turn left to ask Zsuzsanna where the gun is. (Zsuzsanna sleeps on my left.) I have the false recall that I own a gun and that it might be on the DVD player (association with imagination, correlating with watching movies). The girl eventually leaves but comes back with her father. Dream sequence 3 establishes that emerging liminality changes the direction of my dream. The girl and her father are in our lounge room. At first, I see it as an intrusion. My dreaming status resets and loops with different events five times. In the third loop, there are about five members of the girl’s family entering our home, including her mother and an older sister. I am puzzled and ask them how they are doing this. One of them points at the outside of our front door, and I see that there is a silver key in the door’s barrel lock. Still, at this point, my dream has reset again, and the family is only now arriving on our porch. Suddenly, I recall that I have a young daughter (which eventually unlocks recall I have additional children). I think she might like to meet the unknown girl. I no longer see the people as intruders even though I did not ask them in. I look around, but I cannot find her. I ask family members where she is. Dream sequence 4 is the fourth form of liminality mediation when the unnamed man sits down on our couch to watch television. I notice that, as he is sitting down, a much older man than him on the television screen is sitting down, mirroring his actions, though he has a white beard while the man in our lounge room has no beard. I find this amusing, but I do not comment on it. The man on television, with his short white beard, correlates with my waking-life identity, triggering my waking. Overall, this is the same preconscious template as in thousands of previous dreams.
Morning of March 13, 2020. Friday. Dream #: 19,443-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. In this dream, American actor Vic Tayback (as Mel from the television sitcom “Alice,” which I have not seen in over 20 years) randomly serves as the typical sleep-wake mediator (personified preconscious) without much focus on his identity. Instinctual awareness (and control) of the nature of dreaming processes for the usual transitions is viably willful, though there is no lucidity. My dream was influenced by “The Truth About Spring” (1965) though only in the association with sailing and nothing else. (Zsuzsanna and I watched this movie before bedtime.) Despite this influence, my waking-life identity is absent, and the setting is a variation of the King Street area in Wisconsin though incorrectly integrated with docks near the ocean so that the streets are instead water channels. Vic is the captain of a sailboat. Several unfamiliar people are present to where there is not much room to stand. The boat’s mooring is at the foot of the stairs. It is a wooden staircase (fictitious feature) of about six steps outside in front of the King Street mansion. I carry a small cylindrical container with one of Vic’s front teeth in it (the reason unknown). There is a cabin, but it seems too small for anyone to use. I throw two pillows onto the deck (instinctual awareness I am sleeping), but I go into the house, as I believe the boat’s large square sail is in my room upstairs, in this case, the middle room of the east side of the house. Although my act of walking upstairs does not seem to occur (as it is more like teleportation in this instance), the timing still initiates vivid imaginary proprioception. The sail is in an irregular heap on the floor of my room. I carefully fold it in half as a strong wind moves it about with vivid somatosensory dynamics. My activity seems to last for several minutes and is the most vivid part (as imaginary proprioception usually is). I enjoy the challenge, and after I fold it in half, I fold it again to where the bundle is now only about four feet in length. With minor cognitive arousal, I also have a few paperback books to take to the boat. When I step near the wooden staircase outside, a surreal distortion occurs. The water level near the middle of the steps is somehow about two feet above where the water’s surface near the sailboat is. The impossible dynamics confuse me for a short time. I anticipate the sailboat will move away, and it does. However, after turning at the intersection and moving adjacent to a small maze of piers, it returns (as a result of my instinctual summoning) to where it was, and I step aboard. I wake before anything else occurs. The most interesting factor is my carrying the imaginary “voice” (tooth in the cylindrical container) of the sleep-wake mediator, who is mostly not active in this dream, dominant or otherwise, giving me greater instinctual control of most of the dreaming processes.
Morning of March 8, 2020. Sunday. Dream #: 19,438-01. Reading time: 54 sec. In my transition from complete lucidity to liminality near the beginning of my dreaming experience, I think about the nature of imaginary physicality, though it does not correlate with the usual falling sensation anticipation. As the rapid morphing of various random settings slows and stabilizes, I see a variation of the “Gunsmoke” Dodge City set, though its implication is ambiguous, as both people on horses and modern cars are present and in motion. I know that horses are more of an instinctual rendering when imaginary proprioception is an anticipated factor, whereas cars, although still signifying the physical body as sublimated while dreaming, indicate a partial level of cognizance. As a result, my liminal state integrates the ambiguity of both in an atypical form of sleep-wake mediation. What results, as I am moving into my sleep cycle instead of out of it, is that all the cars unrealistically rotate, reminiscent of a tornado, ballerina’s pirouette, or helicopter rotor system (all of which are variations of mediating this process) as I allow my lucidity to lessen. There is no emotion as only one horse bucks at the impossible scene (only because I briefly anticipate it). The cars do not lift off the ground but rapidly rotate in place until their spinning makes them a seemingly transparent circular anomaly. After a few minutes, I allow the scene to fade.
Morning of March 4, 2020. Wednesday. Dream #: 19,434-02. Reading time: 1 min 24 sec. My final passive lucid dreaming event (before I allow it to dissipate) in the first stage of my sleep cycle includes audio only (with no imagery or physicality): “I’ll stay with him until he dies.” (It is the preconscious cue closing the final gate to conscious awareness in entering deeper sleep. The first hour or so of every sleep cycle all my life has consisted of vivid lucid dreams of various types.) The unfamiliar voice is masculine but somewhat artificial as the formant is too high (though still coarse) to sound human. Later, instinctual awareness of being asleep results in an unusual scene implied to be from a movie. It features a male high school principal’s corpse on the top shelf of a hall closet. It seems someone may have killed him. It is the rendering of a sleep simulacrum, which is a factor of every sleep cycle. He represents the cessation of cognizance and the lack of discernible physicality while asleep, though sleep simulacrums only stem from mortality analogies with emergence from a deeper sleep. As an additional result of that process, a parallel analogy emerges into my dream’s imaginary narrative. The Annabelle doll appears in an undefined room. (The association is that physicality is not feasible while asleep, so I am like a doll.) However, it is not ugly (as in the movies). It is about the height of a six-year-old and has blood on the shoulders of its dress. There is another (unknown) male doll of about the same height. Throughout this scenario, there is only cheerfulness in my belief I am guiding the continuity of a movie. Even so, I instinctually anticipate somatosensory dynamics and pick up both dolls (which vivifies my dreaming experience), and I walk through the mostly featureless room. As I carry the dolls, my instinctual awareness of imaginary proprioception increases, and as a result, I find an antique pair of roller skates (the kind without shoes). I put my feet on them, and as I am doing this, my dream becomes increasingly vivid. Eventually, after some realistic movement, my dream fades without discernible waking dynamics.
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